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Sighted by Christopher Columbus in 1494, Jamaica was conquered and settled in 1509 by Spaniards
The island remained Spanish until 1655, when Admiral William Penn and Robert Venables captured it; it was formally ceded to England in 1670
A huge, mostly African, slave population grew up around the sugarcane plantations in the 18th cent., when Jamaica was a leading world sugar producer.Freed and escaped slaves, sometimes aided by the maroons (slaves who had escaped to remote areas after Spain lost control of Jamaica), succeeded in organizing frequent uprisings against the European landowners. The sugar industry declined in the 19th cent., partly because of the abolition of slavery in 1833 (effective 1838)
Despite labor and other reforms, black riots recurred, notably those of 1938, which were caused mainly by unemployment and resentment against British racial policies. Jamaican blacks had been considerably influenced by the theories of black nationalism promulgated by the American expatriate Marcus Garvey.
By 1958, Jamaica became a key member of the British-sponsored West Indies Federation . The fact that Jamaica received only one third of the representation in the federation, despite its having more than half the land area and population of the grouping, bred resentment; a campaign by the nationalist labor leader Sir Alexander Bustamante led to a 1961 decision, by popular referendum, to withdraw from the federation. The following year Jamaica became an independent member of the Commonwealth. Bustamante, leader of the JLP, became the first prime minister of independent Jamaica.
Source: Encyclopedia.com
The Titanic was about to set sail from Old harbor with hundreds aboard. Fitzroy Brown said his goodbye to his wifie ' Awright baby Love ..tek care til mi come back yuh hear, yuh done know sey when mi reach a Englan' an get mi paypas straight mi wi sen fi yuh soh wi can live nice zeen' Wifie: OK mi love, tek care and mine yuh drown a sea, if mi hear sey yuh drown a gwine kill yuh, and Fitzroy memba fi sen dung some trang English pound fi mi an di pickney dem. Later that evening on board, the lower deck was pack filled with a massive crowd packed in like sardines. Some were nodding to the heavy base rydym as DJ Daag Heart spin di wickedest tunes on the "Sea Love" sound system. The "deckhall" crew was partying like it was 1949. The ship was owned an operated by the Pot-head Na*ve People (PNP) . The ship's Captain was preoccupied with kissing up to the big spenders on the ship. 'Hi Madam Portia Simpson, yuh looking lovely wid all dem gold a glisten roun yuh neck dowe an a soh yuh fat an rosey'. ' Hey PJ, let's keep our fingers cross, no riots and deck blocks on the ship so far ah? (wink, wink) PJ: Dat is because a don't announce di fare increase yet.. but I will have Omar deal wid dat lata. At the controls on the upper deck were SAMMY and RUPERT. Both had been drinking Guinness stout to keep awake as evident by the empty bottles rolling back and forth on the floor. SAMMY: Di Blouze Naught place cold eeh Rasta ...kiss mi neck! RUPERT: Yuh tink a joke ..if mi teet dem noh tap rakkle ..mi boun' fi loose all 13 a dem SAMMY: A wonda how far wi deh now.. wi noh suppose to soon reach Englan'.. How much a'clack yuh have boss? RUPERT: Half pass ten and wi tell di port autorities dem sey diship suppose to dock roun 9:30..but wi noh too late ..9:30 is ?bout 11:30 Jamaican time.. soh wi pon track sed way. SAMMY: A wha dat ova deyso ina di wata Rupert? (pointing) RUPERT: Dah big sinting dey? ..It look like a one oversize snow cone A wonda a wah? SAMMY: Mi noh too sure but a one rahtid ugly looking sinting..yow mi a go ding di Captain. (He radios) Captain Barkley ..one snow cone ina di way sar.what is we to do..'hova han hout ' CAPTAIN: Bwaay a weh yuh a tell mi sey? Snow cone? Ina sea? SAMMY: Come look pan it den noh sar.. afta mi noh know a what it is sar. The Ccaptain appeared on deck and upon seeing the culprit he yelled: Kiss mi false teet! ICEBERG ICEBERG!!! BLOW DI HARN, BLOW DI HARN!! RUPERT: But if a iceberg sar, what blowing di harn gwine do.. it nat gwine move outa di way! CAPTAIN: Bwaay don't back ansa mi, mi seh BLOW DI HARN! ..so he did as told SAMMY: Captain Barkley mi have a betta idea sah.. why wi noh jus lock up di steering wheel and cock di ship pan di side. CAPTAIN: Awright do yu bes and mek sure yuh noh lick up mi ship pan dah sinting deh cause it noh insure an memba seh unu a navigate unda suspended license so do - tek unu time. Sammy and Rupert worked hard locking the steering to the right. The ship was by now sailing on the side and the passengers all fell on top of each other * Some panicked: 'Oye Driva Tek time roun di carna noh man. Try yuh bes jus let mi aff mek mi ketch aneda ship before yuh kill mi inya' Meanwhile, on the deck the three men watched in horror as the ship came dangerously close to the iceberg. The Captain trembled: 'Eternal fada bless our land.. RUPERT and SAMMY unu sey a likkle praya caus wi bout fi si pinnie walli up inya* SAMMY: Jus res yuh foot Capn', wi dun safe ..wi a go mek it man . a years mi a drive ship! And so as Sammy predicted, the ship cleared the iceberg. RUPERT: Respec! ..what a wicked one wheelie dat was.. kiss mi cockafart! Di Captn piss im pants! They all laughed and hugged and dapped fist as a sign of relief. The CAPTAIN spoke in the intercom: Ladies an genklemen ,dis is your Captain speaking*we about to land ..a mean about to dock in about anodda half hour. Sit tightly and tank unu for sailing the Titatnic..your continued patronage is always welcome. *
>>
>>Trevor and Tony are walking home from Greater Portmore to
>>Waterford after a night drinking. They've got no money to get a
>>taxi and are staggering all over the place when they find themselves
>>outside the bus depot.
>>
>>Trevor has an idea and says to Tony "Go in deh and tief a bus so we
>>can drive home and mi wi stay out ya and watch out fi de police".
>>
>>Tony duly breaks into the garage and is gone for twenty minutes
>>while Trevor is wondering what the hell he's doing.
>>Eventually Trevor sticks his head around the wall and sees Tony
>>running from bus to bus and looking very worried.
>>"What di hell you a do Tony, move it!" to which Tony replies
>>
>>"Mi caan find a Waterford bus anywhere Trevor!"
>>
>>Where upon Trevor, holding his hands to his head in disbelief, shouts
>>"Yu stupid idiot Tony, tief a rassklawt downtown bus and mek wi get
>>off at the T-Junction and walk di rest of di way."
>>
> >^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ >Bus driver speaking on the intercom : Welcome to Bus numba 40, >running from Papine to > >Down Town Kingston. Please direct your attention to di Ducta who will > >instruc' yuh > >on our safety and model features. > > > >ConDucta : Hail up massive! We want yu fi know dat yu a ride pon di > safes' > >bus dat run pan di Papine to Downtown > >route. >
The moggle of our bus is a 1980 Encava, own and operate by Rough Rider transports . Dis moggle can survive any adversities an' cantravasies. As unnu can si dis bus get nuff lick up an' bad man shot it up nuff time an' it still a drive like new! This bus seat up to 55 passenger, howeva, due to fi wi commitment to excellent service, wi no leave anybady straddling in di streets. So expect to 'ave up top 140 people in yah by di time wi reach downtown.
Durin' di journey we may encounta unexpected turbulences ... these are known as pot holes. In di case of a sudden bump please refrain fram bawlin' out Lard Jesas mi dead now! Our driva is an experience driva an' will mek sure di axle an' wheel noh bruck aff ina one a dem. But in case wi drap inna one an ca'an come out... please do not climb troo di window dem til unnu pay unnu bus fare... or I will shat unnu r*ss wid mi .45.
Dis bus no equip wid seat belts. Please hole on pon di railin' when di bus a tun di carna dem. The bus is capable of drivin' pon 2 wheels 'roun' all corners an' bends. When di bus a tun one wicked carna pon 2 wheelie, wi ask dat our seatin' passengers bear it if smaddy slide dung inna dem seat an' squash yuh 'gainst di bus side... Our seatin' passenger may experience standin' passenger losin' dem balance an' falling ova pon unnu .. please do not yell out, 'ey batty bway, coom aff a mi r*ss lap! Dat may cause a serious shootout!
On exiting the bus please don' expect di bus to come to a full stop. Wi askin' dat yuh hop aff a di bus an' step skillfull .. if unnu drap an' lan' pon unnu backside an' bruck sinting, Rough Rider noh response.
This is NOT a non-stop journey. As a matta fact wi stop any which part wi waan fi stop, at every yaad gate - all ina miggle road wi stop. Howeva dis bus noh stop fi police ... in case of an unexpected police chase, the driva will be forced to increase the bus' normal speed from 100 mph to 160 mph. Yuh will be instructed to hole on tight an shet unnu mout.
In case dis bus is hijacked by a terroris' known as "Pick pocket", hole di bway an' beat 'im blood cl--t.
Dat said, if wi reach downtown inna wan piece please prepare for new passenger fi shoob unnu dung before unnu can get aff ... Noh mine dem... seat kina ration.
Tank yuh for tekin' di ireiest Rough Rider Encava pon di route...and
hope you enjoy di
ride. DRIVA - PRESS OUT!!