Humour Page!!

Poke fun at your ESL factory in Japan!

Here is one for us all to remember:

Some Time

Some time when you're feeling important,

Some time when your ego's in bloom,

Some time when you take it for granted,

You're the best qualified in the room.

Some time when you feel that your going

Would leave an unfillable hole,

Just follow these simple instructions

And see how it humbles your soul.

Take a bucket, and fill it with water,

Put your hand in it up to the wrist,

Pull it out and the hole that's remaining

Is the measure of how you'll be missed.

You may splash all you please when you enter,

You can stir up the water galore,

But stop and you'll find in a minute

That it looks quite the same as before.

The moral in this quaint example is:

Do just the best that you can.

Be proud of yourself, but remember ...

THERE IS NO INDISPENSABLE MAN orWOMAN

Useful Comments for Student Files

• Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
  
• I would not allow this student to breed.
  
• This student has delusions of adequacy.
  
• Student is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
  
• Student sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
  
• The student has a "full six-pack" but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.
  
• This child has been working with too much glue.
  
• When student's IQ reaches 50, you should sell.
  
• The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
  
• If this student were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
  
• It's impossible to believe that the sperm that created this child beat out 1,000,000 others.
  
• The wheel is turning but the hamster is definitely dead.
  
• Lower than a miner's footprint. Go back and review.