So... how are you? *eats some apple sauce*

I'm fine, thank you for asking. The pleasure is all mine. I'm so kind and nice. I am almost perfect except for the uhh .. top frontal view..
*watches the ditzy asian girls follow behind him giggling about how he's so beautiful*
*cries* I had a hard time shooting people with my starcraft laser gun.. one of my friends ate it. O_O *whimpers cutely*
Phine. just phine. *attempts to count her hopefully break-even money*
Owie.. my tummy hurts from eating that gun.. *rubs their stomach* Does anyone have a buffet? They always soothe my tummy aches.. Bweeheheehee.. *oozes off*
Apple sauce.. hehehe.. reminds me.. of.. that one night.. *does some ghetto breakdancing*..
Florida sucks. *kicks the orange trees* The oranges here taste like they do in Seattle. *mumbles off wandering around a swamp*
Ok. *silence* ...

Are you male or female? Be honest! *chuckles insanely to herself*

Hehehe.. I like females.. like.. tyte YO! wawoo!! whoopee!! yiyiyiyi!! *tries to rap* Yo wassup my name is cool and i like to drool ova cute lil chicks who've got lotsa tricks...
I am a girl. *does her ghetto handshake with bo* Yeah.. we be chillin... of course I've never said that before in my life..
Huh? Oh yeah.. I'm female. I'm going to crash into a red volvo one day with Frances and her boy riding in it. Whoops.
*kicks around his soccer ball filled with.. vodka??* ._.
*stuffs face with the apple sauce jar*.. mmhgrhff.. I'm not sure quite what I am.. I don't even know if I'm human.. *runs off crying*
I'm male. And I like being male. Ok? Sometimes.. sometimes I run.. sometimes I hide.
OH YEAH BABY. I'M DEFINITELY MALE. dang you want me! *hugs his special shoes* OH YEAH BAYBEE!! *rips off his clothes and puts on a tuxedo*
Is that even a question? Half of the school (well almost half) wants me.. and the other half wants to be ME! I think I'll walk across the school courtyard. I'll make my trademark sound. *swish swish swish*

So what do you do in your spare time? Cause I know you have a lot of that. *cough*.. *hacks some more*..

I like to beat people up and get 2 hours of sleep every day with my identical twin. We like to fool teachers who can't even tell us apart. We are totally alike. Whats more, our friends can't even tell us apart sometimes. *gives a reassuring pat on their friend's shoulder*
*tries to race in their car* Fast and the Furious baybee all da way!!
Ok. *silence* I play sports. Online (wow let's kill computer-generated-pixel things!) and Offline (wow let's kick this physically real-not-on-the-computer-screen ball).
I STALK. STALK. STALKERS UNITED! WITH MY FRIEND WE STALK. STALK... No really! We have recorded the times when the victim (I'm sure he actually enjoys it) walks where and stops where and gets picked up *looks around innocently* where.
I like to flirt with people. I appear to have no personality whatsoever. But I am rather "alive" with giggling people. *hears some giggling in the background*
Dood. I... stacked.... toilet....rolls...and...ask..this...girl...I...like... how...to... spell... "hot"... but... i... guess... she... didn't... know... either... cause... later..i.... found... out... she... spelled.. it... "hott"... where.. the.. heck. .would... she... learn... something... stupid... like.... that?? *cleanup in aisle five! old ladies are on strike..*
I make beautiful music. And not just with my instruments.
I try to look for ugly clothes that are black and red at the same time! (Like...gross!..like nasty like like totally ew! like totallly not bellevue! like like like)

What do you look for in a guy/girl? Not that you look. Maybe you don't want to look.. you blind yourself to assume the truth that lies within.. you have forsaken the path of good to dwell on your thoughts of doubt.. no more does pain bore you freedom... no more does happiness enchant your soul... *cough* So what do you look for in them again?

*coughs up some bad poetry* Pants like mine... make them fine. Someone told me I looked like a girl once. It hurt my feelings.
Wealth! They have to be able to afford my eating habits. Size is not an issue for me. They have to be "asian enough". *assumes Chandler tone* Oh yeah.. can we BE more asian pridish?...
definitely not brains because I don't have any either. Occupation as a stripper helps. Did I just say that out loud? Oh yeah I did. *beams*
You know what? I don't know what I want! Because to some.. I'm a mystery and they just can't figure me out. If they speak in monotone that's ok too. They have to have a smile to die for like mine though. *smiles--- and then watches the girl/guys drop dead* Ok? Ok.
Intelligence equal or greater than mine. Sweet sweet sweet personality. Born in Asia is a definite plus. They NEED to have respect for me and my beliefs. Body and Face is (DUH) a plus just as long as you're not some scary fat blob that oozes around... *cough*
*flashes this smile that makes two people drop dead* I don't know. But you take care of yourself and have a nice day! *flashes a sweet smile* I AM YOUR IDEAL PERSON. The person must be able to defend me though because I get beat up a lot... *lets out a cute-cuddly-wuddly-schmuddly-buddly-bunny-wunny-shwimpy-dimpy-kwetie-patootie-whimper*
I really need intelligence. I have the same taste as this friend. No one else understands our tastes except us. WHY WHY WHY? Well we consider them stupid. (cause they are). Ouch. Ok I'll stop now. *starts restocking toilet paper that her partner stupidly messed up doing*
The ability to handle my face. I am practically perfect though. *sigh*

What would you do if you saw a lion and then a necklace from Claires sitting next to the lion?

I would leave the necklace on the doorstep of the person (who I went to homecoming with) who thought it was from *cough* and I would leave the lion alone.
I would adopt the lion because animals from the feline family have certain attachments to me and then I would laugh hilariously and then punch the girl (who was holding the necklace and singing gross airy songs) into the wall. Bwahaha and then I would command the lion to pummel the girl because she did bad things. *gasp* She? Doing bad things? Noooo... Yesss...
I would pickup the lion and say "how can you resist a face like this?" By the way... what's a necklace? I appear to be hanging around my instruments and room too long... *pounds on some piano keys while watching the wall*
I wouldn't notice. I would be getting a plastic surgery appointment with who? Oh yes. Only the best! *sweeps the floor with a broom*
I would try to catch the lion for a quick snack but then it found me to be quite edible so it ate me instead.
I don't understand. Actually I never understood school. Is this symbolism? Is this suppose to be an inside joke or something?
I wouldn't care but when I left a whole mass of a specific type of girl/guy started kissing the ground I walked on. Did you know I have really hott arms? Yes they are TO DIE FOR. *watches someone faint in the background*
I would laugh so hard that my stomach would hurt at the lion who just had dinner and the girl who was moaning painfully from a large wicked punch. *eats some fruit rollup* Fruit Roll up IS THE BESTEST FRUITIEST SNACK!!! *eats some more*

Ughh... this is the most generic question in the book *holds up old decaying book*.. but I just have to ask it. Gawsh... I see you rolling your eyes... well take this! *smacks you right in the face* THERE. Now go on and answer the question. Go on! Go on! Don't look at me with that puppy face! Awwww so adorable... ANSWER THE QUESTION. ... *silence* If you were stranded on a desert island what would you bring?

I would bring all the hottest asian guys(or girls... can't have both!) around and then they would be my slaves forever! BWAHAHAHAH!!!! *cackles insanely*
Uhhh... *a stringlet of drool drips idly from their mouth* I would bring the bathroom right next to me. So then I didn't have to walk 10 feet all the way over to the other side of the island to go to the bathroom. *cough*
OMG I'M GOING TO BE STRANDED??? NOOO!!!!! *starts crying awfully* THIS ISN'T POSSIBLE!!! Well.. if it did happen I would bring QFC... Safeway.. Fred Meyer.. Costco... all the best food brands! I would never go hungry again. *looks dreamily outside their refridgerator window (yes they have a window in their fridge..)*
I don't know. I don't care. This isn't even a relevant question. I think you're nice. You wouldn't do that to me would you? *hears maniac-laughter behind* O_O;;;;
I would bring my awesome piano. Don't make fun of me! It's my baby... *pats the piano affectionately* It's name is Bob. You like that Bob don't ya? Don't yoo? yoo kewt widdle thing.. Come on! Fetch the stick! Let's go.. Come on!
I'm beautiful AND smart. I need to bring makeup and lots of AP tests to amuse myself.
Hehehehe... You know what I would bring.
I would all the stereotypical things to bring. A cellphone.. a computer.. *goes on and on to themself*

What would you do if (hypothetically that is) Bo told you that she watched Saturday morning cartoons.

*runs for a long time* I don't know. I would watch them but I have to get up for my morning twelve mile light and easy jog. *wears this dastardly ugly green shirt* It's my favorite shirt.
I would think that it's rather childish but I wouldn't say anything. Because I know if I made fun of Bo it would hurt her feelings and then I'd make her cry. *hears crying* I made her cry? Ohh... *turns on the tv* Look Bo! I'm watching too! *the crying turns into pitiful howls* Ohh.. ok... *walks slowly away into a dimly litted corner*
I wouldn't say anything but secretly inside, I would be laughing hilariously. Man that's so funny! *chokes from laughter*
I watch Saturday morning cartoons! (hypothetically.. that is) Oh wait.. I am Bo... (again.. hypothetically..)
I don't care. Bo's my friend. *gives Bo a large pat on the back* She can go dye her hair green and dance the macerana to Hitmebabyonemoretime on BHS's rooftop for all I care.
MR. BEST WAS RIGHT! HAHAHAHAH!!!!!! *large stomach jiggles when laughing*
Who's Bo?
No really... who is she?

What's your favorite drink? *hears lots of shouting* FOR NORMAL PEOPLE WHO HAVE MORALS. *awkward long silence*

I put in a blender.. 3 cups of whip cream.. a Big Mac... 5 cups of Burger King Fries.. 3 fruity popsicles.. 3 chocolate popsicles... I then blend them together for a smooth and creamy drink.
I don't have morals. I drink anything illegal I can get my hands on.
I drink the school's cafeteria white milk. It will build me a strong body. I didn't say it has. But it will.
I fill up my water bottle in the drinking fountain that is next to Mr. Carroll's room. It's fun waiting in line. :)
I don't know. I asked Bo for a drink once when we finished playing soccer. Haha. Bo sucks! I beat her so bad. ^_^
ORANGE JUICE. ORANGE JUICE WITH PULP! IT IS THE BEST DRINK!!! WOOOHOOO!!!!!
Gain detergent. It makes my pants sparkling clean.
Gatorade! YUM! I LOVE THE BLUE STUFF. BLUE STUFF AND YELLOW STUFF. BLUE AND GOLD! ROWR!

Ni Hao. =D *grabs a rubber duckie* What type of person are you?

I am person who people go *sigh* when they think of me. It's not a regretful or missing-you sigh. It's just a too-bad-you-are-you sigh.
I am the type of person who does things without thinking them over quite carefully. I like to take action and then to think.
I am the momma's boy. *recieves a hug from mommy*
I am the person that a lot of people drool over. *grabs the 64th bucket*
I am your average getting good grades person who secretly laughs at my co-workers.
I am the boy/girl next door. I'm funny, nice, and fun to be with.
I sit by your window sill and at twelve o clock each night... I go "BWEEHEEHEHEEHEHEEEEHEEEEHEEE"..
I'm extremely unintelligent. I am the person who regards people that take extremely high classes or gets good grades as "bizarre" and "whoa... dood... like............ whoa"

What would you say if your friend suddenly "got" a joke that was told five minutes ago?

Aiya...*hears screaming fans behind them laughing*
Doi...*hugs her lion* GAWSH...
again... DOI...!!!!! *slams down the cover of the tanning bed* Was there someone still in there? *hears ditzy screaming* Ohh.. yeahh..
It's fine. I didn't get it either the first time it was told to me.
Aigoo... *eats jello*
Nya!! *smacks friend with chubby chubby cheesy fisties*
Umm.. I was the friend who "got" the joke after five minutes..
Aiya.. *gets hit right in the kisser* ..... there goes that million dollar smile.. oh wait. it's fine. *pats head* you're fine.

Thanks to swaymyway.com for help with coding. ^_^