My Breast Cancer Story

Nancy G. Spila

nspila@sbcglobal.net 

MY PHOTOS

My nightmare began January 26, 2000.  We had just returned from a great trip to Disney World, bringing in the year 2000. I was lying in bed the night of the 26^th and knew it was time for my monthly breast exam. As I examined my right breast, I instantly knew something was wrong.  That lump was not there in December, and there’s nothing in my left breast that feels like that.  A million emotions ran through me in just a matter of seconds.  I broke out into a cold sweat and thought I would throw up.  All I could think of was how my mother had died from breast cancer, and because of that, I’ve always made sure I did my monthly exams.  The next morning, I called for an appointment for a mammogram.  First available appointment was in March.    I couldn’t wait that long.  Next step was to make an appointment with my GYN.    The first appointment I could get with him was February 7, 2000.  Everyday before my appointment I would check to see if the lump was there and unfortunately it never moved.  By the time I finally saw Dr. Gordon my blood pressure was 190/110. First thing they said to me was not to have a stroke. Heck, all I could think of was breast cancer, and whether I was going to die.  I had been seeing Dr. Gordon for several years, but on this day, I lost all respect for him.   I explained to him where I found the lump, and reminded him that my mother had died from breast cancer.  He examined me, and said he couldn’t feel anything.  All I could think was maybe I really WAS nuts and over reacting.  Maybe it was just my anxiety disorder taking control.  I felt the lump again and point blank showed him where to feel.  Once again, he said he felt nothing. By now, I was a tad annoyed.  For a third time he examined me and finally felt something but he said it was only breast tissue nothing to worry about...  Well, that wasn’t good enough for me...I insisted it was not there the month before.  He finally conceded and said he would get Dr. Vanderbilt to examine me since he was on duty, and he was one of the surgeons who does the breast surgery.  I laid there trying to calm down, but had no success there.  Once Dr. Vanderbilt examined me, he instantly said it was more then just breast tissue and said it needed to be checked further.  Dr. Gordon looked surprised, since I believe he thought I was just another hysterical woman.  So the dear Dr. Gordon told me to get a mammogram within the next few weeks.... Was he nuts?  There was no way I was waiting a few weeks.  I went downstairs and told them they had to fit me in for the following day, which they did.  2 days later, Dr. Gordon called confirming a mass did show up on the mammogram and that it needed to be biopsied.  I called the following morning and got an appointment with Dr. Vanderbilt.  After examining me he said he would do a frozen section, which is done as an outpatient and under a local.  Dr. Vanderbilt did relax me some.  He said it did feel a lot like a cyst.  The appointment for my biopsy was scheduled for February 22, 2000.  On February 16^th, a girl from the x-ray dept called, and her exact words were, “In case you haven’t heard yet, there’s something wrong with your left breast and we need to do a compression” THIS put me over the edge.  I called Dr. Gordon to ask him what was going on, and why wasn’t I told a week earlier when I was given the results of the right breast.... Got a bunch of double talk.  What the heck, do they read these films right breast one week, left breast the next week? By this time, I figured just cut off both breast, screw it.  It was more then I could deal with.  So I called my primary care doctor to see what she could tell me, but my file was mysteriously missing...She said she would look into it and was floored by the way I was told to come back in, something she felt Dr. Gordon should have done himself.  I didn’t want to let the kids see me so upset.  I didn’t want to tell them anything until I knew exactly what I was dealing with.  So the following day, I went back for my compression of the left breast.  The tech I had this time was great and really helped calm me down.  It basically was Dr. Gordon covering his butt since he missed the lump in my right breast.  I often wonder how many other women that happened to,  and he just thought it was nothing and they trusted him.  It was hard to concentrate on anything the next few days.  Finally the morning of the biopsy.  WE arrived at St. Francis Hospital just before 7:00 A.M.  They sent us up to the waiting area.  It seemed like forever before they called me in.   Finally they called me in, had me change into a gown and had me lay down while they started my IV.  They gave me something to help relax me.  HA, what a joke. I don’t relax that easily.  Dr. Vanderbilt came in to talk to me, and said we’d be under way shortly.  Suddenly, I felt like this was the day I would find out I had cancer.  They finally wheeled me into the OR.  My first impression was, the room seemed so small.  I was given a shot to numb the area.  Poor Dr. Vanderbilt must have asked me 10 times if I felt drowsy yet.... each time, telling the nurse to give me ANOTHER shot.  Never did work.... My answer was always no, not drowsy at all, as I continued to talk and ask questions through the entire procedure.  One advantage for me, or I thought, was hearing everything Dr. Vanderbilt had to say during the biopsy.  There was no abnormal tissue around the lump and he sounded as if it truly was a cyst.  He removed the lump sent it down to pathology and closed me up.  I actually felt hopeful and when they took me down to the recovery room, I gave Butch a thumbs up.   Everyone was great in the recovery room.  The 2 nurses taking care of me were just wonderful.  They even put on a Disney CD for me.  We talked for close to half an hour before Dr. Vanderbilt reappeared.  He confirmed my worst nightmare.  It was cancer.  I couldn’t even say the word cancer.  I didn’t cry or freak out.  I just listened to what he was saying to me.  It was very small, less then 1 centimeter, caught early and treatable.  He immediately brought up reconstruction.  I just took it all in.  Once he was gone both nurses were at my side to be sure I was all right.  Which I was (or so I thought) Both nurses told of women they knew who had breast cancer and were survivors, but all I could think of was what my mother went through.  I was so afraid that I was going to die from this, and how I would miss seeing my kid’s graduate from high school and college, their weddings, and my grandchildren.  Dr. Vanderbilt said to keep me another ½ hours and then I could be released early since I was awake and alert through the entire procedure. They called up to the waiting room to let Butch know that it would only be another ½ hour before I was released.  In the meantime,  Dr. Vanderbilt had already talked to him.   They removed my IV and I was sitting up, getting ready to get dressed when I KNEW something was wrong.  I knew I would never be able to stand up and walk out of there.  I didn’t want to say anything, because I just wanted OUT of the hospital.  I needed some air.  That didn’t happen.  My blood pressure dropped dramatically, all I remember is hearing the nurse say vagal.. so back in went the IV and the oxygen mask. My ½ hour wait, turned into 1 ½ hours before I was released.  In the meantime, Butch was going crazy, not knowing what was going on.   Finally I was stable and released.  Butch was a wreck waiting for me and dreaded going home and telling the kids that YES, I had cancer.   WE all dealt with it pretty good.  That day I decided this demon was NOT going to get the best of me.  And surely not without a fight.  That’s when I decided we would face this with laughter.  Dr. Vanderbilt wanted me in on Friday just to be checked out, but he was going to be out of town so I had to see his associate Dr. Gordon Sr.   (father to my Dr Gordon the GYN)  He said everything was healing nicely.  Then I made the mistake of opening my mouth and mentioned that I wanted reconstruction.  The man just about laughed in my face.   He threw up my gown saying “Look at that breast no one could ever match that” and he threw a prosthetic breast at me, and said here get one of these.   My heart sank.  I started to cry the minute he walked out of the office and cried the entire drive home.  I saw Dr. Vanderbilt the following week to have my stitches removed and to get my mastectomy scheduled.  The date would be March 14^th.  Didn’t have much of an anniversary celebration (March 7^th) or birthday celebration (March 10).  My heart just wasn’t in it this year.

March 14, 2000

My surgery was scheduled for 8:00 A.M.  We arrived at the hospital at 5:45 A.M.  I cried the whole drive there after saying good-bye to the kids.  Right at 6:00 A.M. they took me up got me in a room and started my IV.  Surgery would have started on time if my IV hadn’t fallen out.  They had already put the mask on and nothing was happening.  Bob had told me as soon as you get the mask you’re out.  NOT ME.  That’s when they realized my IV had fallen out.  Surgery went well once I was knocked out, and I was back in my room 2 hours later.  I wasn’t prepared for the way I would feel after having a breathing tube.  That was the pits.  I never did get any rest once I got into my room.  Once again my blood pressure dropped so I spent another hour trying to get that stabilized.  They wouldn’t let me have my lunch, since they wouldn’t let me sit up until my BP came back up.  They practically had me standing on my head.  Pain from the surgery really wasn’t too bad.  It was bearable.  They were constantly checking my vitals, and all I wanted to do was sleep.  Didn’t get much sleep though.  I did doze for a short time, so Butch ran home and picked up Becky and brought her to the hospital.  Bob was at a track meet.  It was great seeing her.   The flowers started pouring in.  It sure was great knowing how much everyone cared.  Of course, they got me up right away to use the bathroom.  That was not easy.  Especially when I tried to do it myself.  It wasn’t easy unplugging the dang IV.  I was pretty much awake the whole night.  Just couldn’t sleep, plus the nurses were in all the time checking my vitals and emptying my drains.  The next morning I really felt rotten.  Of course my room was so blessed hot.  That didn’t help any.  I couldn’t have breakfast since they had a bone scan and liver scan scheduled for me.  I had to tell them that I already had the liver san at the same time as my  pre op tests.  I was taken down for the bone scan, which wasn’t to bad, until I had to turn on my side.   That was rough; All in all, I think I did well.  By the time I got back to my room the doctors were making their rounds.  Dr. Paredes came in and we talked about possible options, but he wouldn’t know for sure until the entire pathology report was in.  I knew I would need some kind of treatment just not sure what kind.  Dr. Vanderbilt came in next and asked if I was ready to go home.  Mentally I was but wasn’t sure about physically.  I was released, and it was a beautiful spring day out.  The kids and dogs welcomed me home and were very happy to have me back home.  The first thing I HAD to do when I got home was look at myself in the mirror.  Even with all the bandages still in place, I had to look.  I cried when I saw the void where my breast had once been, but at the same, I was  happy that I was still alive. I was released on Wednesday, but had to be back at the doctor’s office on Friday to have my drains removed.  That was an experience in itself.  I had never felt anything like that before.  It felt like he was pulling an alien out of me.   I called for an appointment with Dr. Paredes for the following week.

      Dr. Paredes was surprised to see how  well I was healing.  After he examined me, he had me get dressed, then he came back in and we talked.  He told me they had taken 26 lymph nodes and all tested negative  (THANK GOODNESS)  I was really worried about that.  He explained that even though my cancer was small it was an aggressive cancer and had to be treated aggressively.  I said, whatever it takes.  He then had me go talk to one of the nurses.  She showed me around and explained how the treatments were done, etc.  I did cry when I found out I was going to lose my hair.  I had to have a muga scan before my first treatment.  My first treatment is scheduled for 2 weeks from today and will be 3 weeks apart.  I will receive 4 treatments total.  I have it scheduled so I should be ok for Becky’s Prom and Graduation. 

First Chemo Treatment      April 6, 2000

Thursday

I was a nervous wreck before my first treatment.  When I arrived I had to have the first of MANY CBC’s.  All my counts were good, so it was on to the chemo room.  Teri was my nurse, and she made me feel very comfortable, but couldn’t get me relaxed.  My heart rate was 141 so they had to give me something to calm me down before they could start my first treatment.  The first treatment had to be done while Dr. Paredes was in the building because of the possible side effects I could have.   Something that I really was worried about since heart damage was a possibility.  Wouldn’t want any kind of heart damage, plus the fact that there is heart disease in the family.   Finally it was time for the IV to start.  Well, that was no simple task.  I didn’t have good strong veins in my left arm, something that was extremely important with this type of chemo. Once they got to the Adriamycin if it wasn’t a good vein, it could have blown a hole right through the vein and my arm.  Teri tried for close to 30 minutes trying to get a good vein with no luck.  She called Lynn over; whom Teri said was the best.  Another 30 minutes passed.  By this time, I’m in tears thinking I won’t get my first treatment and that will throw off my timetable.  Finally we have success.  Once I’m finally hooked up, Teri and Lynn had a talk with DR. Paredes and it was decided I definitely need a port put in for my chemo.  Diane took me to the office that day and Butch met me there after work.  Once they got the chemo going, they had to keep a close eye on me in case I experience any of the side effects that could happen during the actual treatment.  Luckily that went smoothly, and finally we’re on our way home.  When we got home, Becky had fixed up the bathroom to look like a home away from home in case I got sick.  Another good thing, haven’t gotten sick YET.  I have to return on Monday for a CBC.

Friday

I really feel great.  No side effects YET

Saturday

I got up this morning feeling totally fatigued.  I made it from the bedroom to the family room on the couch.  Thank goodness we bought that new couch.  Saturday night – my eyelids are sooooo heavy, can’t keep my eyes open, but can’t sleep.  Can’t lift my head up either.  Can’t even get to the computer to check my email.  Now I KNOW I’m not doing good if I can’t do email.

Within a few days, I noticed that food lost it’s taste.   I couldn’t have coffee at all.  7-UP always tasted flat, water tasted like metal, and everything else just tasted different.  

White Blood Cell Count

4-6-2000                  12.5      before my first treatment

4-10-2000                  4.0

4-12-2000                  1.9

4-13-2000                  1.0

4-14-2000                  1.1

4-16-2000                  13.4

4-18-2000              18.3

4-27-2000                  12.3

5-1-2000                        3.1

5-3-2000                        10.4

5-5-2000                        2.0

5-6-2000                        12.3

5-10-2000                  14.1

5-12-2000                  7.4

5-18-2000                  9.9

5-23-2000                  6.2

5-25-2000                  6.0

6-8-2000                        11.5

6-13-2000                  3.9

6-19-2000                  8.1

6-23-2000                  34.6

6-26-2000                  7.9

Monday

I have to go in for a CBC – I can’t even think about standing up to get dressed, let alone drive so I asked Louise to take me.   The fatigue isn’t as bad as it was, but not ready to go out dancing.  The muscle and joint pain has set in.  My white blood cell count was very low so I was started on Neupogen shots.  I was told to report any fever or sore throat or mouth sores.

Anytime my white blood cell count dropped under a 4, I was given the Neupogen shots daily, put on Cipro, couldn’t have any fresh fruits of vegetables, couldn’t go out in crowds, couldn’t get near my animals or any plants.   Doing any of those things would put me at risk of exposing myself to bacteria.

Tuesday

Back for another CBC and another shot of neupogene.  No change in my white blood cell count.  The neupogene shots help rebuild the bone marrow but it is painful in the process.  I told Helen today that I had a sore throat, but all she did was gave me something for mouth sores.

Wednesday

Back for another shot.  What a pain in the butt this is going in everyday for shots, but at least no CBC today.  By 5:30 P.M I was running a fever of 101.  I called the office and was told to get right in.  I had to go to the Homewood office this time since they were there late on Wednesdays.  Had to have another CBC, and a double whammy of neupogene. Next Dr. Nomanbhoy came in to examine me.   The bad news was I was being hooked up to the IV again for an hour of antibiotics and that would continue for 5 days plus I was also taking Cipro.  I’m scheduled to have my surgery to have my port put in next week.  My blood counts have to be good before they’ll do the surgery.

Side note:

Neupogen is a colony-stimulating factor that stimulates the growth of blood cells in bone marrow.  Neupogen is a hormone like substance that stimulates the body to produce naturally occurring colony stimulating factors specifically neutrophils.  Neutrophils are the blood cells type responsible for fighting infection.  Neupogen is given to boost your body’s production of these naturally occurring colony stimulating factors.  Neupogen is given in the form of a shot into the fatty tissue.  Side effects.  BONE PAIN

Drugs I’m receiving:

Decadron

Kytril

Compazine

Neupogen

Adriamycin

Taxotere

Valium

Port Surgery

It’s a stormy morning as we leave for the hospital.  I was worried about the kids trying to get out of the house to get to school, since the dogs freak during storms.  When I arrived at the hospital they got me settled in my room.  This surgery was to be done with just a local.  I was also running a low-grade fever.  I was taken down to the holding area.  I had already given written orders that Dr. Gordon Sr. was NOT to assist or touch me.  The anesthesiologist came in and started arguing with me about the fact that I had given the orders about Dr. Gordon Sr. He had me so upset, that my heart rate went sky high and they had to completely knock me out.   The first thing I hear when I come to is that I need to see a cardiologist immediately.  Just what I did NOT need to hear.  The anxiety disorder is bad enough and hearing the word cardiologist just pushed me right over the edge.  When the nurse came in to release me, I asked about the cardiologist but she knew nothing about that, so I went home.  I immediately called Dr. Damiani & Dr. Paredes.  Both doctors felt it was just the anxiety disorder and that I needed my medication adjusted.

Sunday

Today is Easter Sunday and I’m still wiped out.  Butch and the kids went to the Sunrise Service while I stayed home and pulled my hair out, literally.  A couple days ago I noticed the pubic hair was falling out.  Now the hair on my head.  It was just coming out in handfuls.  It really bothered the kids, but I laughed and joked about it.  I thought it was better to laugh about it then cry, because either way, it was still falling out.  Luckily I have a wig ordered.

Thursday – Second Chemo Treatment

The treatment itself was much easier having the port.  I saw Dr. Paredes and he put me on Xanax for the anxiety for right now since the Klonopin was doing nothing.  He explained to me that he had to slightly weaken my chemo since my body just couldn’t handle the first treatment.  The first thing I thought was I would need more then the 4 treatments now, but that wasn’t the case.

Friday

I had my first CBC and of course my white blood cell count was down so I was started on the shots.  Becky came in and learned how to give me the shots so I wouldn’t have to come into the office everyday.  Especially once the fatigue sets in.  So it’s 10 days of shots and Cipro.  What a lifesaver Becky has been, being able to give me the shots at home.

May 5

I went in today for another CBC.  I really expected my counts to be up.  I was feeling good, but tired.  By this time, I had learned to take water with me everywhere I went.   The heat was really bothering me, since the chemo made me unable to sweat, so I overheated very easily. The chemo also put me into premature menopause, so never knew when the hot flashes would hit.   Helen called me back and told me my count was still at 2.  I was not expecting to hear that, so they got me another bag full of shots to take home.  Helen really needs to take some lessons on how to deal with people better.  Helen and I were like oil and water.  As I was leaving, I just needed to sit down for a minute.  I could tell I was overheating and I just wanted to get out to the van and sit for a few minutes and get my ice water.   WRONG.  I sat down in the waiting room and I remember Liz asking me if I was ok.  Next thing I know Helen and Lisa are there screaming my name. All I wanted to do was sleep.   I had passed out.  Once I came to, they took me back into one of the private rooms with a bed.  They came and took another blood test and got me hooked up to the IV.  Lisa was on the phone with Dr. Paredes.  I knew I was headed to the hospital if I didn’t shape up.  I spent 5 hours hooked up to the IV and several phone calls to Dr. Paredes.   Finally around 1:30 P.M. they decided I was ok to go home, but they wouldn’t let me drive, so Diane brought Becky up to the office, so she could drive my van home.  I had to be back in the office the following morning for another 5 days of IV antibiotics.

Before I could have my third treatment I had to go in for another muga scan...

Fatigue was really bad on the 3^rd, 4^th and 5^th days after the treatment. At least that was the severe fatigue.  Usually by the time my next treatment was due I was just starting to feel human again.

2 treatments down, 2 to go.  Third treatment was pretty uneventful.  Dr. Paredes started me on the shots immediately as well as the cipro.  We were trying to eliminate my white blood cell count from dropping and the need for the IV again, since I NEEDED to be well for Becky’s Graduation.  By this time I had completely lost all my hair.  While the hair was falling out, the scalp was very painful.  Becky’s Prom is just around the corner, followed by Graduation.  I was determined I was NOT going to let the chemo get me down for these 2 important events in Becky’s life.  Becky had been through a lot, dealing with what I was going through along with her own fears for herself.  Bob didn’t really talk about it much.  Dying was not an option for me.  I would fight this.  All my life, if I wanted something, I was determined and didn’t give up until I got what I wanted, and my health is what I wanted.  Laughter definitely helped get me through the rough times.

Finally, the day has come for my final treatment. YAHOO

I was counting the days.  I figured after everything I had been through with the past 3 treatments, this one had to be a piece of cake.  WRONG.  Why should this time be any different for me?  I had postponed this treatment by 5 days.  Becky’s orientation for NIU was on Monday, and I knew if I had my treatment the previous Thursday, I NEVER would have made it to orientation and that was important to me.    Even with my treatment 5 days later then usual, my white blood cell count was down.  My heart sank when I heard this.  Lisa called Dr. Paredes to see if they could still give me my chemo.  This was soooo important to me, to finally get the chemo behind me.  Dr. Paredes agreed to let me have the treatment.   Thank goodness!!!!!  Ok, lets get this IV going.  Oh wait, they have to flush my port first.   WRONG AGAIN.  They tried for an hour to access my port with NO luck.  I was not leaving without that treatment.  Talk about being stressed out.  Finally, Lynn gets my port working and treatment started.  Now my blood pressure starts to rise.  What next?  My normal 1 ½ hour treatment turned into a 5-hour treatment.  I ended up feeling the worst after the last treatment.  3 weeks later, back to Dr. Paredes for a check up.  All my blood counts were good, and he said I could have my port removed.  YES YES YES.... I was thrilled over that news.  He explained that there are no guarantees in life, but he felt confident that I would stay cancer free, and that the chemo was done as an added insurance.  I was THRILLED to hear this news and gave Dr. Paredes a big hug.... So I need to call and make an appointment with Dr. Vanderbilt to have the port removed.  Dr. Paredes also wants the vaginal polyp removed which Dr Gordon said was NO BIG DEAL.  Needless to say, I did NOT go back to Dr. Gordon.  I’ve also graduated to seeing Dr. Parades every 2 months instead of every 3 weeks.  So I don’t go back until August.... 

I finally went in and was fitted for a prosthetic breast.  What a difference that made with my appearance, and it sure made me feel better about myself.  Especially in my swimsuit.  Having the pool, and living in it most of the summer, I really felt much more comfortable with myself once I had the prosthetic breast.   

August 2000

We decided to take a quick trip to Disney World before Becky left for college, and I really needed a vacation after the chemo.  I was still having problems dealing with the heat most of the trip.  I just let my bald head hang out.  I also had alot of problems at the water parks with my prosthetic breast.  A wave hit me, and up I would go and that darn thing would be all the way down to my waist.  I know I want to have the reconstructive surgery eventually; I just have to make up my mind to do it...   After everything I’ve been through this year, I’m just not ready to go under the knife yet.  And Dr. Vanderbilt recommended that I wait a full year before having the surgery.

I have an appointment with Dr. Paredes the week after we return.  I’ve also noticed that within the last week, even though my hair is just starting to grow back, my eyelashes and eyebrows have fallen out.  It’s NOT a pretty sight.

We returned from Florida and there was a message on the machine that my appointment with Dr. Paredes had to be changed due to a family emergency and that I would have to see one of the other oncologists.  I really didn’t think too much of it.  I had to many other things on my mind.  Becky was leaving for college in 3 days.

Move in day was very traumatic for me as a mother.  I know it will be just as hard when Bob goes to college, but Becky was my sidekick during my chemo.

I had my oncologist appointment, which was uneventful.  I saw Dr. Ahmed, whom I wasn’t real chocked up about.  Hopefully, Dr. Paredes will be back by October when I have to return.

September 2000

Decided it’s time to have the port removed.  I made an appointment with Dr. Vanderbilt.  I thought I would have to have it done in the hospital.   Boy was I wrong.  When I told him I wanted my port removed, he said OK, we’ll do it right now...I almost fell off the table.  I wasn’t expecting that.  What I didn’t know was, they have an operating room right there at Pronger Smith.  I was lead into the “OR” and was prepped.  Dr. Vanderbilt came in gave me a shot to numb the area.  He made an incision on the scar I already had.   Once again, I drove the man crazy by talking nonstop through the entire procedure.   What I wasn’t prepared for was how it would feel when that sucker came out.   I felt like an alien was being yanked out of me.   VERY BIZARRE.

Now I need to have the polyp removed.  I have an appointment for the same day with Dr. Yen, but since I wasn’t expecting to have the port removed in the office, I changed the GYN appointment

October 2000

I have an appointment with Dr. Yen to have the vaginal polyp removed.   That procedure really wasn’t bad, but it was stressful waiting for the results.  Dr. Yen was very surprised that Dr. Gordon didn’t want the polyp removed immediately, especially since I was a cancer patient.  Everything was fine with the polyp.

Time for my 2 month check up with Dr. Paredes.  I had grown very secure in seeing him.  I felt he had my life in his hands those months I was going through chemo.  What I wasn’t prepared for was what I was about to see.   While I was still in the waiting room, I heard Denise on the phone with the hospitals saying Dr. Paredes would be back the following week.  I was surprised to hear he was still off work since August.  Then I saw this man walk past the door in a baseball cap who waved.   NO WAY could this have been Dr. Paredes, but it was.  His family emergency was a car accident he was in which nearly took his life.  I couldn’t believe when I saw his face.  I just felt so bad for him.  I completely forgot about my problems.   Everything checked out ok with me though.  He ordered a blood test, and of course my potassium was low AGAIN.  I have now graduated to seeing him every THREE months.

December 2000

In December we took our semi annual trip to Disney World.  We rented a house again and took Bob Flynn (Becky’s boyfriend) with.   I know it was hard for his family to let him come with us for the holiday plus his birthday is December 24^th.  We were set to leave December 22.  On December 18^th, Bob’s father had a heart attack.   He was in the hospital all week, and knew he would need heart surgery in January.  He encouraged Bob to still come on vacation with us.  It was a trip I really needed.   By the beginning of December my anxiety disorder was out of control.  I was really bothered by the fact I was no longer going to the oncology office so often.  Even as much as I HATED going everyday, I did feel that since I was there, something was being done for me. (Dr. Paredes told me later, that this is a very common feeling)  Now I felt I was out on my own.  I saw Dr. Damiani and she put me on Zoloft, which has helped a lot.  The vacation was wonderful, just what I needed, a good dose of Disney World.  WE met Gary Sinise the morning after Christmas.   What a nice guy.

January 2001

Thank goodness a new year is here.  I had my regular check up with Dr. Paredes and everything was good, though, HE still looked terrible.

May 2001

Wow, Becky is home from college already....It’s great having her back home.   It’s also time for my next appointment with Dr. Paredes.  He wants me to have my annual mammogram.  I decided to have it done at St. Francis this time.  Wasn’t about to deal with Pronger Smith idiots again.  

Went for the mammo as usual I was a wreck.  Then the call came the following day that I needed a compression done.  OK, I can deal with this.  I’ve been through this before.  I have an appointment for Friday, at 9:00 A.M. for the compression.  Becky and her Bob are going to Six Flags Great America that day.   My Bob is still in school.   I was up early to take my shower so I was ready to leave for the hospital.  Diane was going with me for moral support.   I came out into the living room and found a prescription bottle on the floor empty and chewed up.  OH MY GOSH HERSHEY, What have you done this time?   Wonderful Tara (our cat) got up on the counter and knocked down Hershey’s Valium.   There was not a pill to be found.  She ate them all.   I just can’t deal with this.  I need to be at the hospital at 9:00 and now I have a dog that is going to OD on Valium.  I called Diane for some Peroxide so I could induce vomiting.  I also called the emergency vet, but he had an emergency so I had to wait for my vet to get in.  At 8:00 we were at the vet with Hershey in tow, just as hyper as usual.  I called the hospital to see if I could come in an hour later, but they couldn’t fit me in.  Once again, enough to push me over the edge.  I just wanted this mammo over with.  I couldn’t even think about the fact that I could possible have cancer again.  The vet kept Hershey all day and she did just fine never did sleep.  He said she was not acting like a dog that just ate a bottle of Valium.

I go in next week for the compression of the left breast.  Since the area in question is also in the same area where my port was, I wonder if it’s just  scar tissue or something.

I went for the compression, so I just wait now to see what happens.

It’s been two days since my compression was done, and Helen just called from Dr. Paredes office.  Dr. Paredes wants me to go in for a needle biopsy of the left breast.  My heart sank.  I just couldn’t deal with this again.  Seems like I’ve said that a lot over the past year, but somehow, I make it through everytime, in fact, I’m probably stronger, mentally, then I ever was.  Deep down inside I just don’t feel that there’s anything to REALLY worry about.  I called Dr. Vanderbilt again for an appointment.   Dr. Paredes office had already called him.  He’s going to see me on saturday morning.....I ran over to St. Francis to get a copy of my mammo films.

Saw Dr. Vanderbilt today.  After he looked at my films, he examined me and couldn’t feel anything, (though, that doesn’t mean anything).  He felt there was a good chance it was scar tissue from my port.  Karen said she would set up the biopsy and call me with the date and time.  For some reason, I really wasn’t worried about this biopsy.  I told Butch he didn’t even need to come with me, that I could have Diane go to the hospital with me.

The day of the biopsy, I had to be at the hospital at 9:00 A.M.   They took me in right away and got me ready.  I had to have yet another mammogram so the radiologist would know exactly where to insert the dye.  OK FINE.  The tech takes the mammo and I sit and wait.  Talk about stressful.  The tech comes back and tells me they need another view...Well, this happened another 4 times.  All I could think of was, WHAT HAVE THEY FOUND NOW.  Dr. Dickerson came in to talk to me.  I thought, OH SHIT, now what.  She showed me my films and said they could not find the area in question, so she called down to Dr. Vanderbilt, and he agreed that the biopsy would be canceled.  She said even if she WANTED to proceed with the biopsy, they wouldn’t know where to insert the dye.  I was sent home and told to return in 3 months for a follow up mammo...

October 2001

I saw Dr. Paredes today, in which, he did a VERY thorough exam and said he did not feel any abnormalities, but gave me the prescription for the follow up mammogram

October 15, 2001

I went today for the follow up mammogram, which Dr. Paredes ordered.  Luckily, Dr. Dickerson was on duty, so I requested that she read the films since she was the one who read them the day I was suppose to have the biopsy.  She did not see any changes so she wants me to have another mammo in 6 months, just to be on the safe side.  NOW, I have decided it’s time for the reconstruction to begin.  I’ve had it with the prosthetic breast, having gone through 3 of them in a years time. I just didn’t want to deal with it anymore.  I hated the way I looked braless, and it was a constant reminder EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE, when I looked in the mirror, that I had, had cancer.  I wanted to feel whole again.

The first time I heard Dr. Dreyfuss’ name mentioned was when I was in the hospital in April 2000 for my port surgery.  The nurses at St. Francis said that Dr. Dreyfuss was the BEST plastic surgeon in the area.  They spoke VERY highly of him.  I then asked Dr. Vanderbilt whom he recommended and it was Dr. Dreyfuss.

Since we have canceled our December vacation to Disney World, because of the events of September 11^th, I said NOW is the time to start the reconstruction process.  I called and made my first appointment with Dr. Dreyfuss for next week.

I wanted Butch to come to the first appointment with me, when I saw Dr. Dreyfuss, so if there was anything I forgot, hopefully, he would remember, and I felt it was important for him to know exactly what would be involved.   PLUS, the fact, that I’m very leery of doctors, since I haven’t had the best of luck lately, and after Bob almost died 2 years ago because of a misdiagnosis.

Dr. Dreyfuss was very thorough with his explanations.  He explained several different types of breast reconstruction surgeries. We both were very impressed with him after just that consultation.  I went there knowing I did NOT want silicone or saline implants.   It was something I was not comfortable with, and I felt very strong about that.  I just felt that I didn’t want anything foreign going into my body after already having had cancer.  He then had me change into a gown so he could examine me.  He decided my best option would be to make the new breast using stomach, so I’m lucky enough to get a tummy tuck also.   He was very thorough explaining everything.   He gave me a brochure to read which also gave a website. I wanted to read everything I could about the surgery.  He was going to write a letter to our insurance company to see if they were going to cover the surgery.  In the meantime, we wait until we hear from the ins. company.  I read, as much as I could find on the web regarding breast reconstruction...along with reconstructing the new breast, I will have to have breast reduction on the left breast.   Fine with me, I’ve always wanted breast reduction done, since I was NEVER large breasted until after I got pregnant with Becky.

November 9, 2001

I received my letter from the insurance company today, saying they would cover my surgery.  Now I have to wait to hear from Dreyfuss’ office.

Carol, from Dr. Dreyfuss’ office called today to say they had received their letter, and to see when I was hoping to have the surgery.  I said as soon as possible.  (because I didn’t want to chicken out)  She said she would call me back after they got everything scheduled with the hospital.   In the meantime she gave me another appointment for November 27 to see Dr. Dreyfuss.

Carol called back to say my surgery was scheduled for December 5th.  Now I have a date set, I have a ton of things to get done before that, like all my Christmas shopping and Becky’s birthday shopping, since I know I won’t be in much shape to do any shopping after the surgery.  Becky will be home for winter break the week after my surgery, so that will be a big help.

November 27, 2001

I had to go to the hospital this morning for my pre op tests and then I had an appointment with Dr. Dreyfuss.   I spent 4 hours at the hospital waiting for my blood test, chest x-ray and EKG.  I had to leave before my chest x-ray and EKG and run over to Dr. Dreyfuss’ office.   Dr. Dreyfuss went over the surgery and then took “before” pictures.  OH THE HORROR OF THAT, and how embarrassing.  I then ran back to the hospital for the rest of my tests.

December 5, 2001

We had to be at the hospital by 6:00 A.M.  I was up nice and early since I didn’t really sleep much the night before.  I jumped in the shower.  Unfortunately I got my period just in time for my surgery.  I just couldn’t believe my luck.  We got to the hospital a few minutes early and we waited down stairs until exactly 6:00 A.M.  We were then instructed where to go.   Once in my room, I got changed, and they came up and got my IV started.  The time went by fast until it was time to go down to the holding area.   Dr. Dreyfuss stopped by for a few minutes, and told me not to look so nervous.  YEAH RIGHT....I was a wreck.  I was then wheeled into OR.  Luckily Louise met Butch in the waiting room to keep him company, since it was going to be a long day.  The nurses in the OR were just great.  Once that mask hit my face I was out.   Toward the end of the surgery, I started coming to.  I was in TREMENDOUS PAIN.  Could hear voices.  I was trying desperately to open my eyes, and move my fingers, but I couldn’t.  It was very frustrating. I know that none of my doctors believe me when I tell them, that happened, but I know what I felt and what I heard and it was REAL, it was NOT a dream.  Finally I came all the way to.  Dr. Dreyfuss talked to me about the surgery, but I really don’t remember what he said at that point.....remember him saying something about blood vessels.  I just wanted to go back to sleep, which I did.  I don’t know how long I was in the recovery room, since I slept most of the time.  When I did wake up though, couldn’t talk because my throat was screwed up from the breathing tube, though, I wasn’t as dried out as I was the last time I had a breathing tube.  Sometime around 4:00 P.M I got into my regular room.  When Butch came in, (he looked worse then I did) he filled me in about the surgery.  It had a couple of minor glitches.   My Blood Pressure dropped a few times, and there were problems with the flap once they moved it into place.  THANK GOODNESS I had a catheter, because I couldn’t even think about getting out of bed.  It was hard enough to even move in bed.  Tummy tuck was a lot worse then I thought it would be.   Even with Linda warning me, it was bad.  No rest for me when I got to my room.  My BP was still low, so we had to wait for that to stabilize.  They were checking my temp and my drains on a regular basis.  I had a morphine pump, which I could use every 8 minutes.  I really don’t think it did much for the pain, just made me want to sleep.  I told Butch to go home for a while so I could sleep.  When he came back he brought Bob with him.  Sure was great seeing him.  I wish I could have seen Becky also, but that was the week before finals and just couldn’t make it home.  I didn’t get much rest that first night in the hospital.  The nurses were in constantly checking my vitals, etc, plus it was so blessed loud all night long.  I started running a fever sometime during the night.  The nurse came in and made a big deal out of the fact that my temp was up, and now she had to call the doctor....OH WELL, that IS her job.  I felt too rotten to care if I had a temp or not, and didn’t want to hear the nurse complain about it, since it’s not like I had any control over it.   Next morning, they were in early taking blood.  Had a liquid breakfast, but really didn’t have much of an appetite, plus what I DID try, it tasted like used dishwater.  The nurses kept encouraging me to use the morphine, but it made me so blessed tired.  I wanted to be awake, not sure WHY, since I was in pain...  Eventually Dr. Dreyfuss made his way in.  Said I could have real food, the catheter was to come out and I had to get out of bed.  EXCUSE ME, you want me to do WHAT?  I couldn’t even think about getting out of bed.  I couldn’t even move IN the bed let alone trying to stand up.  I couldn’t even sit up.  Walking was just too much to expect.  hahahahaha, guess who lost that battle.  I made it from the bed to the chair and that completely exhausted me.  Once I got in the chair I planned on staying there for a while, Of course I was half drugged from the morphine.  During this time, Pastor came up to see me.  I remember babbling to him, but who knows WHAT I said.   He said a prayer with me before he left, and said they would include me in the Sunday prayers during the worship service.  I knew if he looked at me strange the next time I was in church, I must have REALLY babbled.  Once he left, I felt so dizzy.   Thought I was going to pass out.  I just sat there for a while, with my eyes closed, PRAYING that feeling would pass.  I just wanted to get in bed, but was afraid to stand up, in fear of passing out and falling.... something I did NOT need to have happen.  Finally, decided I better try and make my first trip to the bathroom.  NOT an easy task, but I did it.

Butch and Bob came up again thursday night.  I was worried about poor Hershey while I was gone, but Butch said it was Sandy who was upset.   The poor old girl searched and searched looking for me every night when Butch got home from the hospital.  I was really hoping to get some sleep that night.   Butch and Bob left around 8:00.  I turned my lights off and was OUT.   Next thing I know, every light in the room was on, and Dr. Hamadeh was there to see me.  He walked to the right side of the bed and started poking my abdomen.   I damn near hit the ceiling.  He asked me about my surgery, and then did a usual exam on me, which included a breast exam, and abdominal exam.  I just about hit the ceiling.   The only good thing out of that was the fact that he said he was happy to see that I went through with the surgery since self-image is so important with breast cancer patients.   NOW, hopefully I can get some rest.   WRONG.  I had horrible panic attacks all night long.

Friday, I actually sat up to eat, but it wasn’t easy.  Also had a reaction to the morphine.   The nurse gave me a shot of something to counter react the morphine, and that completely knocked me out.  Around 3 P.M. I tried calling Bob since he should have been home from school by 2:15.  NO answer.  OK BOB, where the heck are you.  I don’t need something else to worry about.  I waited about 15 minutes and still no answer.  Where the heck was he.   As I lay there trying to figure out where the heck he was and praying he wasn’t in a car accident, Becky pops her head in the room.   WHAT a great surprise that was.   Becky & Bob planned that one on their own.  She didn’t even tell Butch she was coming home.  She hitched a ride home with Pete.  She was only home friday night, she had to go back first thing saturday morning, but it was great seeing her.  Friday night I finally got some rest, plus I was able to have my Zoloft after I begged the nurses for several hours.

Saturday morning, Butch was at the hospital bright and early.  He was ready to get me home, but we had to wait for Dr. Dreyfuss to spring me...Dr. Dreyfuss told me if I had any problems at all, to call him, that he would be available all weekend.

FINALLY, I was home, but unfortunately, Becky had JUST left 10 minutes earlier to get back to college.  The dogs went crazy as soon as I walked in.  Luckily, they didn’t jump on me.  One of the orders Dr. Dreyfuss gave was no shower until my drains came out.  WHATEVER.... I HAD to get my hair washed, I just couldn’t stand it anymore, and so I had Butch help me in the shower.   I kept every thing covered with a towel while he washed my hair.  Now that was comical, but not as funny as when I had him shave my legs for my next doctor’s appointment.  That night, Kathy made us dinner.  What a relief that was.   It sure is nice having great neighbors like we do.   Butch and Bob went out to get the Christmas tree for the family room, so I was able to get some rest finally.   When they got home they put the tree up, and they started decorating the tree in the living room first.  I dragged my body out to the living room to supervise.  Poor Sandy had her first stroke that night.  She fell off the couch, couldn’t stand up, and kept falling down.   It was so sad, and something I couldn’t deal with.   I couldn’t just jump up and take care of her, like I normally would.  My body was in no condition for it.  Luckily, it wasn’t a BAD stroke, and she bounced back pretty quick.  I truly believe the stress of me being gone for those few days brought on that first stroke.

Tuesday

My first appointment with Dreyfuss after my surgery.  The drains came out.   WOOOOHOOOO!!!!!   I have to say though, that it was nowhere near as bad as when I had the drains removed after my mastectomy.  I just hate those damn drains.   They are a PITA.  We ran to Target after the doctor so I could buy some new bras.

January 2002

The black area on the right breast started draining and got mushy, so Dr. Dreyfuss cut that area away and left a nice crater there.  I had to pack it with saline soaked gauze.

January 4^th

Sandy had a MAJOR STROKE today.   Luckily, the two Bob’s were here along with Becky.  It took all of us to get her into the van, since she couldn’t walk.  WE knew the end was near for her.  The vet gave her some meds, and we’d see how she did over night.   The next morning, she still couldn’t focus her eyes.  I just hated seeing her like that.  It just broke my heart, and if we even mentioned putting her down, Becky went crazy.   Becky had picked her out as a puppy and named her.  She WAS Becky’s dog, but she was 14 years old, and had lived a good life....

The following week I started running a fever, so I was started on antibiotics and Dreyfuss switched me from the saline to Silver Sulfadiazine.  What a disgusting mess that was.

January 22, 2002

Saw Dr. Dreyfuss again.  He’s satisfied with the way the crater is healing and said we’re ready for the next surgery.   YES!!!!!  Just what I’ve been waiting for.  I was tired of two different sized breasts, especially having the left one big and saggy.  I just have to wait for Carol to call to let me know when they can get it scheduled.

We had to put Sandy down today.  After her last stroke, she was just in really really bad shape.   I couldn’t let her continue to live like that.   She was still walking into walls, etc.  It broke my heart to do it, but it was the best thing for her, and she knew she was ready.

January 27, 2002

My surgery is scheduled for Friday, February 8^th.  This surgery will be to close the crater, reduce and lift the left breast and add the nipple.

February 6, 2002

My surgery is 2 days away and I’m more nervous this time, then I was back in December.  I have to be at the hospital at 6:00 A.M.   This will be a much shorter surgery  2-3 hours.  Carol just called, my potassium is low again.....OH JOY.

February 8, 2002

I have to be at the hospital at 6:00 A.M. so I’m up nice and early (4:30) so I can shower and get ready.  I told Bob I would wake him before we left.  AS we’re walking out the door, I told him we were leaving.  He got up and said he didn’t feel good.  I ran and took his temp, it was 101.7.  OK, I don’t want to deal with this today.  I gave him 2 Tylenol and told him to go back to bed.  He’s almost 18, a few hours alone being sick, he’ll be fine.  I called the school real quick to let them know he would be absent today, and ran out to the van.  We were definitely running late now.   WE walked in the hospital right at 6:00 A.M.  That was close.  They sent me right upstairs.  Got in my room, changed and tried to relax.  I had to have ANOTHER blood test to check my potassium.  Then I got the good old IV.   The time flew by.  Next thing I knew it was time to be wheeled off to the holding area.  My heart was pounding.  I don’t know why I was such a wreck.  I have total confidence in Dr. Dreyfuss.  In the holding area, Dr. Dreyfuss stopped to answer any last minute questions I had and to make markings on my left breast.  Then we were off to the operating room.  They didn’t waste any time strapping me down, hooking me up to the BP monitor, etc.  Then I had to have yet ANOTHER blood test.  Next came the ever-famous mask and I was out.  3 hours later I was wheeled into recovery.  Dr. Dreyfuss was there, and assured me everything went fine.  The pain was pretty intense at that point.  I spent a little over an hour in recovery, before I was taken to my room.  Pretty uneventful for the next few hours.  Butch met me in my room and I called Bob to see how he was feeling.   The nurses brought me a sandwich, but I really had no appetite.  I did want a cup of coffee though.  I ended up having 3 cups of coffee, a glass of ice water and a cup of ice chips.  By 3:00 P.M. we were leaving the hospital.   Friday night wasn’t bad, I was able to control the pain with meds, but still had not used the bathroom since my surgery.  They never did ask me at the hospital if I had gone.  Several times during the night I got up and tried to go, but no luck.  I knew this was something I should have done before I left the hospital.  I figured I’d have to call Dr. Dreyfuss in the morning.

2-9-2002

I was up early – actually didn’t get much sleep friday night.  I wasn’t really in pain, just couldn’t get comfortable, and couldn’t sleep.  I was just sitting back having my coffee.  8:57 the phone rang and it was Carol from Dr. Dreyfuss’ office, checking how I was doing after my surgery.  I told her I was doing good, but still had not gone to the bathroom.  She said she would contact Dreyfuss and get back to me.  9:03 Dr. Dreyfuss called.  He was concerned that I had not gone yet, so he told me to go to the ER.  The last thing I want to do is get up and get dressed and no way do I want to go back to the hospital but really don’t have much of a choice.  We get to the ER and they got me in a room fairly quick.  I really just wanted to lie down and sleep.  Before I knew it, Dr. Dreyfuss flew in.  He informed me I needed a catheter.  OH WONDERFUL, just what I wanted to hear.   NOT.  He asked if I cared if he inserted it, or if I wanted the nurse to do it.  At that point, I didn’t give a rat’s ass.   It really wasn’t that bad.  I just wanted to go home and hopefully get some SLEEP.

2-10-2002

Last night I was in tremendous pain and was running a fever of 101.8.  I think the pain was intensified because of the fever and my anxiety disorder.  I’m still running the fever all day today; I did call Dr. Dreyfuss to let him know about the fever.  I really hate to bother him with his stuff, especially on the weekend.  I took 3 Motrin, a Vicadin and a Klonopin and went to bed.  Slept like a baby.

2-11-2002

Luckily my fever is down.  Have no idea if it went up last night or not.  I fell right to sleep.  Dr. Dreyfuss called first thing this morning to see if he needed to see me in the office or not.  Luckily I didn’t have to go in.  I can wait until tomorrow.   THANK GOODNESS, since I really didn’t feel like getting up and getting dressed.

2-12-2002

Saw Dr. Dreyfuss today and he was happy with the way everything was healing, including the slight draining of the right breast.

2-13-2002

Right breast is still draining.

2-17-2002

We were in DeKalb for the weekend for Becky’s Dance Show at NIU.  Yesterday the right breast was draining A LOT.  I was changing the gauze every hour.  Today I was even changing the gauze in the van while we were driving to Becky’s dorm.  During Becky’s dance show, the breast was draining so much that it completely soaked the 2 gauze pads, my bra and my sweater.   Somehow, I don’t think that is normal.  When we get home tonight, I will give Dr. Dreyfuss a call.

He wants to see me in the morning.

2-18-2002

I saw Dr. Dreyfuss this morning and he drained some fluid from the right breast, also removed my steristrips.  I’m really happy so far the way the left breast looks.  Before the surgery, I was concerned about the nipple of the left breast.  I wanted to make sure I wouldn’t lose sensitivity to the nipple....NOT a problem.  

2-21-2002

I saw Dr. Dreyfuss AGAIN!!!!  Said everything was doing fine.  I still have some draining but not much, nothing like it was.  I finally remembered to ask him a few questions I’ve had.  I’ve been worried about the pathology report, but he said that was fine.  I also asked about the scars & my mammo, also asked about hair removal (since the new breast is COVERED) and he said that would be taken care of by laser.  Now I get a break, don’t have to see him for 2 weeks.   WOOOHOOOO!!!!

2-23-2002

This process has been trying for me.... nothing what I expected.  The breast is still draining.  I could just scream.  When I removed the gauze before it was just running down my side.   The left breast is healing well, swelling is going down, but itches something awful.  As disgusted as I am with all this DRAINING and the PITA that it is, I’m still happy I went through with the surgery, and I have no regrets.  People ask me all the time if I’m sorry I had the surgery, since I’ve been having so many problems, but I’m not sorry one bit. I’m thrilled just being able to wake up every morning and being able to feel something on the right side instead of a flat void.

2-25-2002

Still draining

2-26-2002

So much for my 2-week reprieve.  Saw Dr. Dreyfuss again today because of the draining.  I now have to pack it again with gauze.

2-27-2002

Started running a fever tonight

2-28-2002

Butch called Dreyfuss when he got to work this morning.  My fever went to 102.8 during the night and he said I was delirious.  Dreyfuss called at 7:15 A.M. and told me to meet him in his office at 9:00 A.M.  No Problem.  I’ll drag myself out of bed, which I did.  Jumped in the shower and called Nancy real quick.  It was 8:15 and I laid down for just a few minutes.  Needless to say, I fell asleep and I woke up at 9:15.  Dragged my body out to the van.   Saw Dr. Dreyfuss and he really wasn’t sure why I was running the temp but put me on the antibiotics and had me flushing out the hole with peroxide.  I go back March 7^th.

March 10, 2002

I saw Dr. Dreyfuss on March 7^th.  He said everything looked good, but still wanted things to heal more before closing up the new hole I have.  March 8^th Becky came home for spring break.  I was changing the gauze packing on the right breast, when all of a sudden I started bleeding profusely.  The blood was literally pouring out of my incision under the breast.  I had never seen so much blood before.  Becky and I had spent ½ hour soaking up blood.   Yesterday Dr. Dreyfuss called first thing in the morning to see how the bleeding was doing.  After I explained what was going on, he wanted to see me.   When I got there he had no answer for why it happened.   But is ready to schedule me for surgery to close it up.

Surgery is scheduled for March 15^th, and will be done under a local. 

March 15, 2002

Surgery went well.  I did experience a lot of pain during the actual surgery.  We left the hospital about an hour after the surgery and went out for lunch.   During the surgery, I DID ask Dr. Dreyfuss if he was sure the incision would not open again....he reassured me, that it would not. <G>

March 16^th.

I’m in tremendous pain today.   I can’t even stand up without being in pain, and can’t get comfortable lying down.  It’s a constant pain.  Talked to Dr. Dreyfuss twice today, and he changed my pain meds.

March 17^th

NOT the way I usually celebrate St. Patrick’s Day.  I’m still in bed with horrible pain.  I can’t even stand up, yet, without pain.   Becky had to go back to college today, after her spring break, and I didn’t even go with, which I have NEVER done.   Even back in December, one week after my original surgery, I went to DeKalb to get her.

March 18^th

I saw Dr. Dreyfuss today for the pain.  He gave me 2 injections, which did help.  He said when they were removing the scar tissue they had to go all the way down to the ribs, so that explains the tremendous pain I have near my rib cage.

March 19^th

I saw Dr. Dreyfuss AGAIN today.   This is getting OLD real fast.

March 20^th

Saw Dr. Dreyfuss again.  Incision is draining again.  Started last night and it was major drainage.  He says not to worry about it, but I’ve been through this before....I see this turning into something major AGAIN.

March 22

I’m still draining, but Dr. Dreyfuss said there is no infection so that’s good.   Easy for him to say, he’s not the one dealing with this darn draining day in and day out, changing gauze, worrying if it’s going to soak your clothes while you’re out somewhere.   It has really cramped my social life.  HOPEFULLY, everything will be closed up by the next time I see him so we can get the tattoo scheduled.

March 25^th

I saw Dr. Gelman today, since Dr. Dreyfuss is out of town.  The drainage changed over the weekend, and when I talked to DR. Gelman on sunday, he said it was best that he saw me first thing monday.  He put me on Augmentin.

April 4^th

I saw Dr. Dreyfuss on 4-2-02.  He removed my stitches, and said everything looked good.  The hole that remains he said would close on it’s own.  I see him again in 2 weeks and hopefully will be able to schedule the tattooing.  I also see Dr. Paredes in 2 weeks.  This entire procedure is dragging out longer then I expected.  My body just isn’t cooperating when it comes to healing.  I do think it has a lot to do with the chemo I had.  I’m still not totally happy with the appearance of both breasts.  I personally feel the left breast could have been reduced more then it was.   It’s real obvious to ME, especially when I go braless that they are different sizes.

April 18th

I saw Dr. Dreyfuss again today because my incision continues to open.  It has opened up further then what it was last week.  He changed my prescription and wants to see me again next week.  He read me the riot act about my sunburn.   OH WELL, that’s life in the big city, plus, it’s the second time he’s yelled at me.....I also saw Dr. Paredes today.  He said I’m doing great, and he was very impressed with how I looked.  He was thrilled that I went ahead and had the reconstructive surgery.  He said Dr. Dreyfuss did a WONDERFUL job, and that I would be shocked at some of the reconstruction jobs that he has seen, and that I should be very proud of the way I look.  He also told me I could wait another 2 months before I have my mammogram done (which was due this month)  He said there’s still inflammation in the left breast, and it’s best that I wait for the mammogram.   He also said I don’t have to see him again for 4 months.....I was THRILLED to hear that....I’m making progress.   He also told me, that even though my healing process is taking longer then I hoped for, after my reconstruction surgery, that I don’t need to fret about, that eventually I WILL heal, and I will look good again, and still have my health.

May 3, 2002

I saw Dr. Dreyfuss again today.   He closed up my incision, AGAIN.   Hopefully the third time will be the charm.  We talked about the difference in size of the two breasts and the options I have for that.  He said he could do liposuction on my butt and move that up to the new breast.   Sounded good to me.  I just have to get completely healed before he will do anything else.  I go back on tuesday for a check up, but most likely won’t have anything major done until after my vacation.

May 4, 2002

I took the bandage off today and everything looks GREAT.  The incision looks the best it’s ever looked.  I think this time there won’t be a problem.

Sunday, May 5, 2002

I talked to Dr Dreyfuss today.  The incision is draining AGAIN.

May 7, 2002

What a surprise, my new incision is draining.  Saw Dr. Dreyfuss again but he was not concerned.

May 8, 2002

The incision is red, swollen, hot and the draining has changed.  It’s more of a thick substance.  Area is very painful.  I talked to Dr. Dreyfuss and he said to soak the area in warm water, and call him back if it gets worse.

May 9, 2002

No change in my incision.  Still red, swollen, etc.  I have to go pick up Becky from college today.  I called Dr. Dreyfuss on my way to DeKalb.  He wants to change my antibiotic.  He said as soon as I get to DeKalb to stop at the pharmacy and have them call him, so he can get me on a new prescription immediately.  He prescribed Cipro this time.

May 10, 2002

I’m still swollen, red, draining and in pain.  I see Dreyfuss again on Tuesday

May 11, 2002

The redness has faded, and the swelling has gone down but the bottom half of the incision has opened up again. I talked to Dr. Dreyfuss again today and I’m back to using the cream until I see him tuesday.

May 12, 2002

Had a real nice Mothers Day.  I’m still draining and the incision has opened up more then it was.

May 14, 2002

I see Dreyfuss again today.  Hopefully one of these days I’ll be able to finally get my tattoo

May 21, 2002

Saw Dreyfuss again.  He’s hoping the incision will close on it’s own, but I know my body, it’s not going to happen.  I also saw Dr. Damiani today.  She couldn’t believe what I’ve been going through the past 6 months, but she said at least I know I have the best plastic surgeon working on me.  I agreed.

June 11, 2002

I’ve seen Dr. Dreyfuss several times over the past couple of weeks for the opening of my incision.  Today, he closed it again.  He’s concerned about the abrasion I have on the breast from the fall I took last week.

June 11, 2002  -  6:00 P.M.

Just returned from seeing Dr. Dreyfuss for the second time today.   This afternoon the new incision started bleeding so he wanted to see me immediately.

June 13, 2002

Saw Dreyfuss again, and he has me using the Bactroban on the new incision, since there’s a small opening in the new incision.

June 14, 2002

I’m running a fever, am red and swollen....Becky snitched on me when she went to Dreyfuss’ office today, so Karen called me, and said she thought Dr. Dreyfuss would want to know, which he did, and he changed my antibiotic AGAIN.   I think I’ve had more antibiotics in the past 2 years then I've had my entire life.

June 15, 2002  - Saturday

Saw Dreyfuss again today

June 17, 2002

Saw Dreyfuss AGAIN.  said things were looking good

June 18^th, 2002

Today was Bob’s College Orientation...what an exhausting and emotional day.  but the incision seems to be healing nicely...FINALLY

June 19, 2002

Saw Dreyfuss again today....He was pleased with the incision.  Said he would like to see me again next week before we leave for vacation.

June 25^th, 2002

Saw Dreyfuss again today…..He is still pleased with the healing of the new incision…..

July 5, 2002

We’re in Florida and having a great time…..Though the heat and crowds are overwhelming at times….I just spent the past two days in bed with a fever, and the right breast was VERY red and swollen.  The redness went all the way up to my shoulder.  Talked to Dr. Dreyfuss today, and he called in a prescription down here in Florida for Augmentin….Not sure how much longer I can handle being on antibiotics.

July 18,2002

I saw Dr. Dreyfuss again today, having just returned from Florida….He was very happy with the way things were healing, and said we still need to let the scar from the incision soften up and let the  abrasion heal….Told me to come back in 2 months, and we’ll schedule the next surgery then…..He’ll then get the right breast the same size as the left, and enlarge the nipple.

July 19, 2002

Went and had my mammogram done today.   The radiologist was thrilled to see that “everything” was where it should be, since I had the breast reduction done.  He said, it doesn’t always work out that way, and he was happy I had such a good surgeon.

July 22, 2002

Broke out in a strange “rash” all over the right breast today…..small red dots covering the entire area within the scar….

July 25, 2002

Still have the rash….Dreyfuss said it’s probably a reaction to the bactroban, so had to discontinue that.

August 6, 2002

I saw Dr. Dreyfuss AGAIN today.  The right breast is very red and warm.  He said to use hydrocortisone cream on it and come back in 2 weeks.  He also took pictures of it this time for documentation.

August 15, 2002

I saw Dr. Parades today and he said I’m doing great, except for my slow progress with the plastic surgery.  My mammogram came back clean, so that was a relief.  He couldn’t believe the rough time I’m having with the reconstruction process, but, he’s always very encouraging.  I don’t think he was totally surprised, since I had such a hard time with the chemo, which he wasn’t expecting to happen.    I don’t have to see him again for 4 months…

August 20, 2002

Went back to see Dr. Dreyfuss, and he said I’m a challenge.  (I’ve been told THAT before)  He brought Dr. Gelman in for a second opinion.  The redness on the breast has not gotten any better, so we’re trying a new cream on it.   Dr. Dreyfuss and Dr. Paredes both said it looked like 1^st degree burns.   But no one can explain exactly what it is, or why it is happening to me.  It’s getting harder and harder to deal with emotionally.  I’ve been going through this for 9 months now.  I have total trust in my choice of doctors, and I know it’s just my body reacting, which is slowing the process, but still doesn’t make it any easier to deal with on a daily basis. 

I just want to look normal again….Dr. Dreyfuss wants to see me back in one week.

August 22, 2002

College Move in day…..I can’t even begin to tell what an emotional day this was for me.  2 ½ years ago, when I first found out I had cancer, this was a day I thought I might never see, both kids in college.  BUT, I made it.  We got Becky completely settled in her apartment and Bob in the dorms.  Becky’s apartment is just on the other side of the football field from Bob’s dorm so that makes it convenient for them, since Bob plans on doing his laundry at her apartment.   I think I cried most of the way home.   The house seems so empty now with both kids gone. Not easy to deal with.

August 27, 2002

Saw Dr. Dreyfuss again today.  Not much progress being made, but he said he could see SOME new skin starting to grow.  He said I could use either the Silver Sulfadiazine for the Gentamicin.  He applied Silver Sulfadiazine to the area before I left the office, but as I was driving home, started having a reaction to it.   The itching was horrific.  Called the office immediately, so I’m using the Gentamicin.

August 28, 2002

Woke up this morning having a reaction to the Gentamicin.  The breast is still red, and the entire area around the affected part was red and raised up, and burning.   It felt like someone had poured acid on me.

August 30, 2002

Played phone tag with Dr. Dreyfuss last night, and never got to talk to him, so, I started using A & D ointment on my own.  Seems to be working GREAT.  Hard to believe it is working so fast. Headed to DeKalb today to get the kids for the long weekend.

September 1, 2002

The breast is healing very nicely

September 5, 2002

Dr.Dreyfuss was very happy with the healing process of the right breast….the A & D ointment did the trick…I go back in one month, and then we can schedule my next procedure to increase the size of the right breast, and nipple.

HOPEFULLY, that will be the end of this adventure.

October 3, 2002

I saw Dr. Dreyfuss again today, and he's still pleased with the healing process, so I go back in 2 weeks, and we'll be able to plan the next surgery.  I can't wait for this all to be over with....I still have no regrets, just anxious for the whole process to be over with, and hopefully, by the end of the year, it will be.

October 13, 2002

So much for my 2 week break.  I'm running a fever of 103, and the breast is red and blistered.  The skin just comes off in sheets.  I talked to Dr. Dreyfuss tonight, and he called in an antibiotic for me, and wants to see me in his office tomorrow afternoon.

October 14, 2002

Today was not one of my better days.  I saw Dr. Dreyfuss and he can't explain why the breast is blistering/peeling the way it is, so he has recommended that I see an Infectious Disease Specialist.  This was very upsetting for me.  As a cancer patient, the worse case scenario always goes through your mind, and I just can't help by think, NOW WHAT, and emotionally, I don't know how much more I can deal with.  I got back to see Dreyfuss on thursday. 
I called for an appointment with Dr. Santo's but he's completely booked this week, and will be out of town next week, so I have an appointment with one of the other IDS for Monday, October 21, 2002

Just got a call from Dr. Santo's office and they had a cancellation, so they can fit me in on Wednesday, October 16, 2002.  

October 16, 2002

I have a 5:00 appointment with Dr. Zakhireh (Infectious Disease Specialist) today.

Well, saw Dr. Zakhireh, and he said he had never seen anything like what I have....That's comforting, to have two doctors tell me that now.  I have to go in for a bunch of blood work.  And we'll see what happens then....It's very depressing though, because, now, my next surgery is put on hold.  I just have to get this behind me.  I sure don't need any new problems.  

October 17, 2002

Went in for my blood work today, and all the results should be in by monday.

Erin, from Dr. Zakhireh's office just called, and he wants me to go in for a mammogram of the reconstructed breast.  Boy did that throw me for a loop.   

October 21, 2002

7:30 A.M. the phone rings, it's the hospital, telling me I have to come in this morning, because they need more blood from me......what a way to wake up.  This is just soooooo hard to deal with, especially with the anxiety disorder.  

Went for the blood work, they took two more tubes of blood, hopefully, now they have enough...

October 22, 2002

The orders for my mammogram came in the mail today, so as much as I hated to, I called the hospital for an appointment.  Well, the radiologist said they don't DO mammo's on reconstructed breast.  So here I sit, two doctors telling me to have a mammogram on this breast, and the hospital is telling me NO, they don't do it.  I feel like the exorcist with my head spinning around.  I just tell all my friends now, if they can't get in touch with me, call the psych ward, that's where I'll be.  My neighbor has already decided to make me a t-shirt that says "I survived Breast Reconstruction" though, I haven't survived it YET.  The radiologist is suppose to call my doctor, but as of right now, they're saying no, they won't do the mammo.  And just the thought of a mammogram on the side I already had cancer on makes me crazy.  I know, I could NOT go through that roller coaster again, and I know I sure couldn't deal with the chemo again.   I know all during my cancer surgery and chemo, I stayed so positive, and up key, laughing, but this is just getting to overwhelming for me.  

October 23,2002

8:00 A.M. the hospital called to say they WILL do my mammogram, and to come right in....These kind of wake up calls really need to stop.  I jumped in the shower, and headed over to the hospital.  After having breast cancer, every mammogram I have, makes me a wreck, this time being no different.  The tech did the two views, went and showed them to the radiologist, and he wanted a compression done, since there was an area in question....OK FINE....they did the compression, she came back and said, they mostly just found a lot of scar tissue, which didn't surprise me at all.

October 24, 2002

I saw Dr. Dreyfuss today, and the breast IS healing. 

October 25, 2002

I received a letter today, from the hospital, stating, that there is an area on the reconstructed breast that requires further evaluation, and they want me back in 1 month.  Gee, let's just push me right over a cliff, because THIS I can't deal with.   Thank goodness for my strong support system I have with my friends.  I called Dr. Dreyfuss' office to see if he had received the report yet, because Dr. Zakhireh is out of town this week.   Telling a cancer patient there's something wrong with a mammogram, you can't HELP but think CANCER.  I was shaking, and crying, and tried to pull myself together before making the call to Dreyfuss.  I didn't do a very good job.  Luckily, all the girls in the office know me, and are just WONDERFUL, and very compassionate anytime I have ever called, especially when I'm hysterical, as I was today.  <G>   Dr. Dreyfuss did call me back after he read the report.  Then I hear the words LYMPH NODES come out of his mouth, and just about hit the floor.  He did try to put my mind at ease, but did not succeed.  He will be talking with Dr. Zakhireh next week, and both doctors will be in touch with me next to see where we go from here.  Hopefully, I'll still be sane by that time. 

November 7, 2002

I saw Dr. Zakhireh last night and all my blood work came out fine.   He can not explain why I've had the problem with the breast, and the lesions, but did talk to several other doctors, and said if it should happen again, he would send me to the University of Chicago.  (Let's hope that doesn't happen)  He also explained to me the problem with the lymph node, of which, he didn't seem overly concerned about, because since there WAS an infection in the breast, he said it was only natural that the lymph node would be enlarged.  I don't have to return unless I have another problem with the lesions on the breast.

November 8, 2002

I saw Dr. Dreyfuss today.  The breast is healing, so we can finally schedule the next surgery.  He said it will be after Thanksgiving but before Christmas  I'm so excited to finally be at this stage.  He will enlarge the right breast and I'll still have to return for the nipple.

Carol called from Dr. Dreyfuss' office and my surgery is scheduled for November 18, 2002.   Boy, I wasn't expecting it to be THAT soon.  It will be done at Ingalls Same Day Surgery Center, on 159th Street, in Tinley Park. 

November 18, 2002

Surgery is scheduled for 11:00 A.M.  Dr. Dreyfuss will do liposuction on my sides and used that fat to enlarge the breast.  Surgery went fairly fast, and they got me out of there as FAST as they could.  I was still groggy , when they were forcing me to get up and get dressed and out of there.   I wasn't overly thrilled with the staff there, though, I still think the world of Dr. Dreyfuss as a surgeon.  The nurses argued with me BEFORE the procedure, which did not put me in the best frame of mind to be going into surgery. 

November 23, 2002

That pain has been very intense all week...I've talked to Dr. Dreyfuss everyday and the pain continues to worsen.  There have been several times I've gotten stuck in bed, not being able to get out because of the pain, so I went to the Urgent Care Center today to see if they could help with the pain.  They ran blood tests on me to make sure there was no major infection or that I was bleeding internally.  I was given an injection which did help for a short time.  The Urgent Care Doctor thought there was a possibility of a nerve being hit during surgery.

I'm still not satisfied with the look of the breast.  It's still not the same size as the left breast, and the scars look just awful.

November 26, 2002

I saw Dr. Dreyfuss today and he still doesn't know why I'm having the pain that I am, so we're trying yet another pain med. 

December 3, 2002

I saw Dr. Chemello for the first time today, and I was really impressed with him.  I'm thrilled to be away from Pronger Smith.  Dr. Chemello wants me in for blood work and will see me again in March.  He also explained that he see's all his high blood pressure patients twice a year. 

I also saw Dr. Dreyfuss today.

December 5, 2002

I saw Dr. Paredes today.  He wants me to return in 2 1/2 months.  I still have to return for the mammogram of the right breast to check on the enlarged lymph node, but he said I should wait 4 months since I just had surgery.  He also said my chances of anything being wrong are very slim. 

December 10, 2002

Saw Dreyfuss again today and he said he  wants to concentrate on getting my pain under control before we discuss options for the breast.  I have to see him again in 4 weeks. 

January 7, 2003

I saw Dr. Dreyfuss again today.  WE discussed different options for the right breast, but have to wait for approval from my insurance company first.  So now I just sit and wait.  I just want to look NORMAL again........

January 13, 2003

I finally received my phone call from the American Cancer Society about the Reach to Recovery program.....I start my training February 12th....this is something that I really feel strong about, and look forward to being involved with....

January 15, 2003

I saw Dr. Chemello again today.  I've been coughing for 3 weeks now, so decided it was time to see him.  He wasn't thrilled that I waited so long before coming in.  I do have bronchitis and he started me on antibiotics.  I go back in on monday for blood work.

January 22, 2003

It's been over 2 weeks since I saw Dr. Dreyfuss, and still no word from the insurance co, so I decided to give them a call and see if they had received  Dreyfuss' letter.  Lo and Behold, they had not, so I called Dr. Dreyfuss' office and they are to get back with me. 

January 23, 2003

I haven't heard  from Dreyfuss' office so I contacted them again, only to find out the letter was never sent to the insurance co.   I am livid over this.  I want this nightmare to be over, and that's all this reconstruction has been.  Now that it's been over a year since my original surgery, I would just like to look somewhat normal again instead of a freak.  I also talked directly to Dr. Dreyfuss today and he said they had just faxed a letter to the ins. com. which means at least another 2 weeks before I hear anything  

January 30, 2003   

I saw Dr. Chemello again today to discuss my lab results.  My potassium is still very low, so he ran another blood test.  We also discussed my cholesterol, mainly my LDL, and my blood pressure.  He thinks I may be taking to much medication for the blood pressure so I'm monitoring it daily for 2 weeks.  I have to go back to see him February 13.

January 31, 2003

Well, I still haven't heard from the insurance company about my next surgery, so I gave them a call, since Dr. Dreyfuss told me he would give a follow up phone call the beginning of the week....(WRONG)  Well, the ins. co. was still showing nothing had been received.  I was livid.  I'm SURE my BP was high then.  I immediately called Dr. Dreyfuss' office, and they assured me that all the paperwork had been sent.  I mentioned that Dr. Dreyfuss said he could do a follow up phone call to the insurance co., since there had already been a delay in sending the papers, but I was told that's not done.  Talk about feeling like you're getting the run around.  I called the insurance company AGAIN, and was able to talk to someone who was willing to actually look INTO the matter.  She did find the paperwork and pictures and said I should be hearing something any day now....

  February 11, 2003

After several phone calls to the insurance company and Dr. Dreyfuss' office, the surgery is FINALLY scheduled for Friday, February 14, 2003.  Nice Valentines Day, huh?  I went yesterday for all my preop test, and I have to see Dr. Dreyfuss and Dr. Chemello today.

February 14, 2003

Well, today is the day I've been waiting for.  I'm finally having my surgery, to hopefully end this nightmare of the past year.  We have to be at the hospital at 7:00 A.M. with surgery scheduled for 9:30 A.M.  We arrived at the hospital a little before 7:00, they sent us directly upstairs.  I got into my room, changed. got my IV going.   Dr. Chemello had ordered another potassium test to be done before surgery.  Didn't take long to get those results.  My potassium was still low so the anesthesiologist came in and said they were putting me on straight potassium in my IV and would wait 4 hours for surgery.  I was NOT happy.  SOOOOO they started the potassium and boy does that HURT.  Around 8:00 the anesthesiologist came back in to say he cancelled my surgery and that he had contacted Dr. Dreyfuss and told him the surgery was cancelled due to my potassium.  I was so upset, after waiting for so long to have this surgery, and the hassle I went through to get it approved, I was devastated and just sat there and cried.  AND I still had to finish the 4 hours of potassium and then I could go home.  About a half hour later, the anesthesiologist came back in and asked if I had been on any diuretics  and I said yes, but I had stopped them last week.  He got upset and asked me why I hadn't told the nurse, WHICH I DID.  He just didn't look far enough on my chart.  I had been taking them for 12 years, and Dr. Chemello immediately took me off of them when he saw how low my potassium was.  SOOOOOOOOOOOO the surgery is back on....and once again, I'm riding the roller coaster.  When I saw Dr. Dreyfuss before the surgery he said if they had not done the surgery today, it would have had to wait for TWO WEEKS.  He also said he KNEW how upset I would be so he said the psych ward would be ready for me because he knew I would blow the roof off the hospital.  Luckily that didn't happen and the surgery went well.  The only glitch was when they sat me up during surgery for the nipple, my blood pressure dropped so they had to lay me down right away and the nipple will be done at a later date.  Who knows when I'll finally get that dang tattoo.  I was very nauseous this time when I came to.  I've never experienced that before.  

February 15, 2003

The pain is bearable, but didn't get much sleep last night.  When Dreyfuss came in this morning, my drains weren't working properly so they hooked them up to the d*mn suction machine.  It feels very strange, like my entire insides are being sucked out of me..  Bob came home from college this weekend to take Cortney to the Valentines Dance, so they both came up to see me at the hospital before they left for the dance.  

February 16, 2003

I was able to get more sleep last night, but I just feel plain rotten.  Maybe watching the Daytona 500 will help.  <G>  My left hand is still very swollen, and hurts like crazy.  Dr. Dreyfuss was able to completely replace the skin on the breast that had been scarred, besides increasing the size of the breast.  (he cut the muscle in the back and brought that around to the front to increase the size of the breast.  The Flynn's came up to see me tonight.  (Becky's boyfriends family)  I'm surprised we weren't all thrown out of the hospital......but the are great people, and Becky is very lucky to have them.  

February 17, 2003

 Since the drains were not working properly  on their own, Dr. Dreyfuss had to remove them.  I was hoping I would be able to go home with the drains to avoid any other problems since I always have problems with drainage.  

February 21, 2003

My back has started draining and part of the incision is open (no real surprise here, but it sure is frustrating and depressing).  Dr. Dreyfuss doesn't seem concerned but I certainly am.  I'm not happy having a hole in my back and with my system it just leaves me wide open for infection.  Butch was not happy when he saw the size of the hole in my back so he called Dr. Dreyfuss.  SOOOOOO Dreyf told us to meet him in the office. I know Dr. Dreyfuss was NOT happy but he did close me up.  BUT, he has no idea how ~I~ feel as the patient, constantly dealing with these damn incisions opening up, which is also a DAILY reminder that YES I had cancer.....He also ordered a chest x ray for my for my shortness of breath.

February 28, 2003

Incision is WIDE open.  Nice large hole in my back.....Makes for wonderful photo's in the family photo album.

March 6th, 2003

Saw Dr. Dreyfuss about the hole in my back again.  Breast looks good though, ( even though I'm not totally happy with the appearance of it right now )  I'm also having the chest x-ray repeated since SOMETHING showed up on it.  

March 10, 2003

 Saw Dr. Dreyfuss again today (Happy Birthday to me) because of the fluid RU*NNING down my back.   He has me packing the hole with gauze and silver sulfadiazine .  Dr. Chemello called and ordered a CT Scan of the chest.  

March 12, 2003

I had the CT scan of the chest done today....very intimidating, even though it wasn't the first one I've had done.  It's just that once you've had cancer, you always worry about ANY kind of a scan.

March 26, 2003

I saw Dr. Chemello again today.  Still having problems with my potassium.  He wants me to see Dr. Peck, specialist in nephrology, to figure out if I'm having problems with my kidneys.  Just what I need one more thing to worry about.  He also gave me the results of my CT Scan.  Definitely shows a problem (abscess) but it is related to the HOLE in my back.  

April 1, 2003

I saw Dr. Dreyfuss today.  ( wasn't sure I wanted to see him on April Fools Day).  He said he would have Carol schedule my surgery to close up my back and make revisions to the breast.  WOOOHOOO, FINALLY, get this back closed up, and maybe I can finally stop ruining all my clothes, and sheets from the drainage from my back.  

April 2, 2003

Carol called and my surgery is scheduled for April 7th at 12:30 P.M. as an out patient.

April 7, 2003

 Arrived at the hospital promptly at 10:00 A.M, but surgery didn't start until 1:00 P.M.  Woke up from the surgery VERY sick AGAIN....Not sure how long I was in recovery, but was sick the entire time.  I' ve had several people tell me of this happening, and it's the second time it's happened to me....it sure isn't a pleasant experience.  I was finally taken to my room, but still very sick, so I was admitted for "observation"  

April 8th

I was put on a liquid diet but remained sick.   Dreyfuss came in around 7:00 P.M> and admitted me. 

April 9, 2003

Dreyfuss was in early today, and said I could be released.  THANK GOODNESS....Called Debbie, and she came up and got me, and luckily, I got home at the exact time the pool guys showed up to fix the pool.

April 10, 2003

I'm running a high fever, the breast is red, and vomitting.  Called Dreyfuss and he said to give the antibiotic a chance to work.   OOOOKKKKK

April 11, 2003

Ran a very high fever all last night and still vomiting...unable to keep ANYTHING down, including my meds.  Butch called Dr. Dreyfuss today, but he was in surgery all day, but he was told they would make sure he got the message, but we never heard from Dreyfuss.

April 12, 2003

Butch called Dr. Dreyfuss AGAIN, and luckily got a hold of him this time.  Dreyfuss wanted to see me right away.  Got to his office and he immediately started in on me that if I was in such bad shape why was this the first he was hearing of it.  THAT pissed me off.  So I explained several calls HAD been made, at the expense of MY health.  He told me to try the Trimethobenzamide Suppositories for the nausea and if not better by 3:00 to call him back.  By 3:30, I was still vomitting , so he said to try another suppository, if it didn't work to call him back.  WELL, needless to say, it did  not work, so when I called him, he sent me to the hospital.   That was the LAST place I wanted to be....There's sick people there, and being a germaphobe, it freaks me out.  We got to the ER at 6:00 P.M., and got into a cubicle around 8:00 P.M.  By 11:00 P.M. they finally started pumping fluids into me RAPIDLY.  I have NEVER seen and IV bag go down as fast as that one did.  They also gave me a shot of SOMETHING for the nausea, which really knocked me out.   My hands had completely shriveled up and I ws turning grey.  AFter 9 hours in the ER, I was admitted for 2 days of IV FLUIDS.  I was completely dehydrated, and I do feel, if Dr. Dreyfuss had gotten my messages sooner, I could have eliminated this hospital stay.  

April 13, 2003

I'm on a liquid diet again.....Dr. Luebbe came in to see me bright and early as did Dreyfuss....I had to miss my own breast cancer fundraiser since I was in the hospital.  

April 14, 2003  

Dr. Chemello was in bright and early this morning, and he would prefer that I spend another day in the hospital just to try and eliminate any more problems I might have.   Dr. Dreyfuss came in later in the afternoon and took out my stitches, and released me.  By that night the hole was wide open in my back.  All I could do was cry.  I've got less then a month before vacation and the incision is open again....I just can't believe this keeps happening to me.....Everyone keeps telling me to get a second opinion, but I have total trust in Dr. Dreyfuss...He may aggravate me at times, but he's doing the best he can  (atleast I hope so.  ggggg)  I wouldn't even consider having another plastic surgeon look at me.  

May 3, 2003

Had surgery AGAIN to close the hole in the back.  HOPEFULLY this time it will work.  It took 4 times to close the breast, so hopefully, this one will work on the back.  The incision looks real good.  He also put in a drain because of the drainage problems I tend to have. 

May 6, 2003

I saw Dr. Dr eyfuss again today and he's very happy with the way the incision looks and will remove the drain on thursday since I'm leaving for vacation on saturday.  

May 8, 2003

Had the drain removed, and Dreyfuss says everything looks good....The kids are coming home from college today.  Can't wait to have them both home again....Doesn't seem like home without them here.  

3:00 P.M.  

Just got home from taking the kids out to lunch and I have 102.9 fever and am in tremendous pain.  Can't even stand up straight the pain in my back is so severe.  Becky had to drive home from the TGIFridays.

7:00 P.M.

Fever is up to 103.6  Butch just called Dr. Dreyfuss, whom was very surprised since he had just seen me this morning.  He called in a stronger antibiotic for me...(I've only been on them for over 3 weeks now, and looks like another 2 weeks while I'm on vacation.  He said to call if I don't get better.

May 9, 2003

I talked to Dr. Dreyfuss early this morning, as he had a family commitment to tend to, and wouldn't be in the office at all, but he wanted me to see Dr. Gelman before leaving for vacation. 

I saw Dr. Gelman and he knew immediately what the problem was.   He opened a very small area at the top of my incision, where the pus had accumulated.  He said it was very unusual for it to happen in that area of the incision.  As he was working the pus out, I was getting weaker and weaker.  I felt like passing out but figured if I just kept my head down I would be ok.   WRONG.  I did pass out, though I don't remember it.  Dr. Gelman said I was in mid sentence when I went down for the count.  Next thing I knew, I was flat on my back and Dr. Gelman was asking me if I remembered anything....NOPE....he went and got Becky for me, and she came in and sat with me for awhile, until I started to feel better.  Dr. Gelman told me to postpone my vacation atleast until I could see "David" on monday.  I knew that was NOT going to happen, since I had to post pone my vacation last year, because of my incisions.  I NEEDED this vacation.  he did tell me that the pus accumulation had nothing to do with the drain coming out the day before, and he showed Becky how to change my dressings.

May 10, 2003

Left for Disney World right on schedule (against doctors orders of course)  My back was a mess with the pus coming out but we dealt with it fine.  By monday it had stopped draining and the small hole had closed up.

May 18, 2003

Vacation has been great, though HOT, 95 degrees everyday, but just what I needed.  I REALLY needed to get away from everything, AND DOCTORS APPOINMENTS.  Went to the ocean today, and I was a good girl, and stayed out of the water like Dreyfuss told me to do.  While I was sitting on the beach, everytime, one of the kids or Butch would walk past me, they said they could see my incision opening, and it opened more each time they looked.  By the time we got home from the beach, it was opened about the size of a quarter. 

May 19th,

I did call Dr. Dreyfuss to let him know the incision had opened, but he was not in, so I left a message.

I guess I will just start packing it with saline soaked gauze until I see him when I get back to see what exactly he wants me to do.

May 25

Returned from Florida, unfortunately, I would much rather still be in Florida.   It's COLD here, and it was nice and toasty down there.   My back is wide open now and I have the 40 mile Breast Cancer walk in 2 weeks

May 27, 2003

Saw Dr. Dreyfuss today and he yelled at me again for going on vacation...OH WELL, it's over it's done with....I don't think he was very surprised, though, that I DID Go on vacation.  He refuses to close my back again and wants it to heal on it's own.  By tonight, the hole in my back was bleeding ALOT

May 29, 2003

Saw Dr. Chemello today....Blood pressure was sky high, which surprised him since my BP has been doing so good....I told him to blame Dreyfuss.  he was also surprised to see I was still having problems with my back.  He did more blood work.

May 30, 2003

Loni called from Dr. Chemello's office, my potassium is fine, but my other counts are down, and Dr. CHemello feels it's because of the problem I'm having with my back. 

May 31, 2003

Bleeding has continued, and I saw Dr. Dreyfuss today (and I brought pictures with this time to back up my story)  I'm back to using the Silver Sulfadiazine Cream on it.  Hopefully that will help heal this.... emotionally, I just can't DEAL WITH a HOLE IN MY BACK much longer.  I need this to all be behind me....it's been 18  months that I've been going through this, with every day a constant reminder that I had cancer....I just can't take much more of this emotionally....I just can't do it anymore.....I just want to say, I QUIT.....

June 4, 2003   

I saw Dr. Dreyfuss again today, and he said things are looking good, and I asked about the nipple.  He said he will do the nipple, but still nothing for my back.

June7/8 2003

Avon Walk for Breast Cancer.

Becky and I embarked on our 40 mile journey today, and what a journey it was....We started with tears at the opening ceremony.  Our walk took us all through Chicago, out by Wrigley Field, Rogers Park, Loyola University, etc.....I still think we walked MORE than 40 miles....and we all said, how many REAL miles did we walk, compared to AVON Miles....ggggg   By saturday night we literally fell into our tents, until around 2:30 A.M. when it started to STORM....I was waiting for the tent to literally blow away....luckily, our tent did not leak....or we would have floated away....the walk sunday seemed somewhat easier, though it was only 13 miles, but it wasn't as hot, and there was a beautiful breeze along the lake front....but our last 1 and a half, it RAINED AND RAINED AND RAINED.....and the wind blew, we could barely walk the wind was so strong, and we were fighting the rain on top of that.  But during closing ceremonies, it was still pouring rain, but all of a sudden the skies opened and the sun came out....Almost to say, there is a light at the end of the tunnel after breast cancer....

June 19, 2003

Saw Dr. Dreyfuss today, and he SAID the back is healing good....I wish there was more that could be done, but he doesn't want to put me through any more surgery on my back, with the history I have with it, but he did agree to the surgery for the nipple.   That will be on August 1 at 7:30 A.M.

June 29, 2003

We went to the Taste of Chicago on the 27th, and I've been suffering with a BAD case of food poisoning.  If not better by tomorrow, will contact Dr. Chemello.  I already have an appointment with him for Thursday, July 3.....July is my month for doctor appointments....Dr. Chemello, Dr. Emme, Dr. Peck, and Dr. Paredes....Atleast I'm getting a 6 week break from Dr. Dreyfuss before my surgery. 

July 3, 2003

I saw Dr. Chemello today and we talked about my potassium again, and of course my blood pressure was haywire in the office.  He wants me to see a wound care specialist for my back as he feels it's not healing as fast as it should, and he knows what I've been through so far, and wants me to finally have that healed.  He did another blood test to check my potassium.  I have to see Dr. Peck July 14th about my potassium, and will be in touch with Chemello after that.

July 7, 2003

Saw Dr. Emme today for the first time, and I really liked him.  Definitely a good GYN. 

July 11,2003

Well, I THOUGHT I was going to get a break from Dr. Dreyfuss, but no such luck.  Ran 104 fever last night, and the breast and back wound very very sore and tender, making it very hard to breath, so he wanted to see me.  Sent me for a Chest X-ray, started me on antibiotics and pain meds again.  Atleast my surgery is still on for August 1.

July 14, 2003

Saw Dr. Peck to discuss my potassium problems....He feels it's not my kidneys, but related to all the surgeries I've gone through the past 2 years, and abuse my body has been going through due to that...  Will stop taking the Potassium August 7, and wait 3 weeks for a blood test.  Return to see Dr. Peck in September.

July 24, 2003

Saw Dr. Paredes today.  He can't believe I'm having another surgery, and said I must be the bravest person around to continue with the entire reconstruction process since I've had so many problems with it.  Need to go in for my mammogram, which always makes me nervous....Dr. Paredes also put me on iron pills, since he's concerned, since I've had so much bleeding from my back. 

August 1, 2003

Nipple surgery went well. No problems.  Anxious to see it without the bandages

August 3, 2003

Bandage came off today, and everything looks great....I just pray, I can finally  get through a recovery process from a surgery without any complications.....

Last week, went and finished my M&M Tattoo's   NO MORE TATS now....I'm done

September 5, 2003

Went in for my gastroscopy today, and Dr. Horowitz said my esophagus was in constant spasms through the entire test.  Of course, they couldn't knock me out, been there done that, so I was awake for the entire procedure, though it really wasn't that bad....they did numb the back of my throat, so swallowing the camera wasn't as bad as I anticipated.  I return to see Dr. Horowitz September 30. 

September 9, 2003

Went in today for a CT Scan of the chest and abdomen.  That was an experience in itself.  As usual, they couldn't find a good vein for my IV, so it took 6 people trying before they finally got, and once they got it, as soon as I moved my arms to go through the "tunnel" it popped out.  The scan did show a  small cyst in the right kidney, and uterine fibroids.  

September 10, 2003

Saw Dr. Chemello today to go over my lab results.  Saturday, I will go off the potassium for a week, and go in on the 19th for blood work to see where my potassium level is after a week of being off the pills.  And we'll go from there, and I will return to see Dr. Peck in October.

September 12, 2003

Woke up this morning, with the right breast red, as the day progressed, it gradually got worse, along with a fever.  I called Dr. Chemello and he wanted to see me right away.  After being examined by Dr. Chemello, he called the hospital and had me admitted immediately.......

Admittance into the hospital was an experience in itself, but I won't go into those gory details.   I'm in for 5 days on IV antibiotics, plus oral antibiotics.  The diagnosis is cellulitis.  (Cellulitis (sel-u-LI-tis) is a potentially serious bacterial infection of your skin. It appears as a swollen, red area of skin that feels hot and tender, and it may spread rapidly.  Left untreated, the spreading bacterial infection may rapidly build into a life-threatening situation. )

October 2003

After talking to Dr. Paredes in great length about my anemia, and heavy periods, he recommended a hysterectomy.  He sent a letter of recommendation to Dr. Emme.  I then made an appointment with Dr. Emme to discuss the hysterectomy, though he wasn't thrilled about doing it, he did agree.  And it will be a complete hysterectomy, taking the ovaries, uterus, cervix.   The surgery is scheduled for December 8th 2003.  I'll be hospitalized for 3 days, and by the time I get home, the kids will be home from college to help me out, since I won't be able to drive for several weeks, or do many other things that will need to be done.  Dr. Dreyfuss will also do a scar revision on my back, and liposuction on the left side of my back to even it out at the same time as my hysterectomy.

December 8, 2003

Surgery was scheduled for 7:30 A.M.  I was to be at the hospital at 6:00 A.M.   SOMEWHERE along the way, the times changes, so I SAT in the hospital just waiting to be taken down for surgery.   Somewhere between 10:00 and 10:30 I was finally taken in to OR.   Dr. Dreyfuss was to do his part of the surgery first, with Dr. Emme coming in later.  It was sometime after 3:00 that I finally got out of the recovery room, and into my own room.  The pain was pretty intense, and I had a morphine pump, but all that really did was knock me out.  By then I KNEW I was crazy for deciding to have two surgeries done at once. 

December 9, 2003

Dr. Chemello was in bright an early to see me.  He told me the first day after surgery is always the worst, as I was still in a great deal of pain.  Dr. Emme came in, and had my catheter taken out, and wanted me up and walking around.   YIKES....

December 11, 2003

Healing has gone well, and I will be leaving the hospital today.  Dr. Emme said normally he would have removed my staples today, but with my history, has decided to leave them in a few extra days, so I have to see him on Monday, the 15th.  No driving for several weeks either.  LUckily the kids are coming home from college today, so, they will be able to drive me to all my doctors appointments. 

December 15, 2003

Saw Dr. Emme, and he removed the staples, and everything is healing great from the hysterectomy.  WOOHOO, finally something on my body healed properly.  I have to return to see him in one week.   Today is Becky's 22nd birthday....hard to believe she's that old already.

December 22, 2003

Saw Dr. Emme again today, and she said everything is healing the way it should be, and I can start driving again, in one week....THANK GOODNESS

My back has opened up AGAIN, but Dr Dreyfuss wants to remove the stitches....

January 6, 2004

Saw Dr. Dreyfuss today, and he said we're headed back into surgery, to take care of my back.....I'm trying not to even think about it.

Surgery is scheduled for January 23 @ 7:30 A.M.

January 22, 2004

I saw Dr. Paredes today.  He's not happy that I'm having surgery again, but agreed something had to be done about my back after he saw it.   I return to see him in 3 months.  

January 23, 2004

Got to the hospital right at 6:00 as I was told..   Surgery was still scheduled for 7:30.....Dreyfuss was late, so we were late starting, but all went well.

January 24, 2004

I was in tremendous pain when I got up this morning, and the vicodin wasn't doing a thing for the pain, even taking 2 pills at a time.....I couldn't even stand up without being in tremendous pain.  I didn't want to call Dreyfuss.  He was the last person I wanted to talk to.  Becky came home for the weekend, and I don't want her to see me in this much pain.  She's been through so much in the past 4 years since I was first diagnosed with cancer.  I finally broke down and called Dreyfuss, since I also started to run a fever.  HE changed my pain meds and my antibiotic. 

January 26, 2004

I have an appointment with Dr. Chemello and Dr. Emme today.   Not sure if I'll make it to either one, since I'm still feeling very week.  Still running a fever, and the pain is still bad, but I need to see Chemello about my blood pressure. 

I DID see Dr. Chemello and he advised me to go directly to the Emergency Room, since I was running a high fever and was dehydrated, and my blood pressure was low.  I did call and cancelled my appointment with Dr. Emme.  I have to see him on friday, the 30th. 

I arrived at the ER, and took a while before they could get me in a room, but once they did, they did the usual blood tests/cultures, hooked me up to the IV and started pumping fluids in me.  Sometime later, the ER doctor, came in and checked my incision on my back.  As soon as she ripped the bandage off, (which was still the original bandage that Dr. Dreyfuss put on during surgery, since I wasn't to remove it until tuesday) my back started draining....so they did a culture on that also.  Needless to say I was admitted. 

January 27, 2004

Dreyfuss came in to see me.  Changed the bandage on my back, and I was put on IV antibiotics. 

Around 7:30 P.M. Dr. Chemello CALLED me on the phone and said he was just notified that I was in the hospital.  I thought it was odd that he didn't come in to see me in the morning, but, didn't give it a second thought.  He said he would be right up to the hospital, and I said that wasn't necessary, that he could  just see me in the morning, and he agreed to that.   Around 8:00 P.M. I was talking to Becky on the phone when in walked Chemello.   I almost fell right out of bed.  I told him he didn't need to come and see me, that it could have waited until the morning, but, he said he just didn't feel right not coming up there, and it did make me feel good seeing him.  He explained to me about the blood cultures and the culture they did on my back.   The culture from my back would take 5 days for the full results.  Dr. Chemello would like me to stay in the hospital the full 5 days so we know exactly how to treat what I have.  

January 29, 2004

 my white blood cell count has dropped so Dr. Paredes has to be called in now. 

January 30, 2004

All the nurses have told me that I should be going home today.  I certainly hope so.   Dr. Chemello said I definitely have a staph infection in my back, and will change my antibiotic.  Dr. Amed came up to see me about my white blood cell count, and has order neupogene for me, to bring it back up....Dr Dreyfuss then came in to give me the bad news that I am NOT going home.   I was so disappointed, I sat there and cried.  I was depressed the rest of the day....just couldn't shake it....I wanted to go HOME....about 7:30 P.M. Shaq came in with my shot of neupogene, so hopefully, that will work.  

January 31,2004

Dr. Chemello was in EARLY as usual....though, he couldn't wake me up, of course after the night I had last night, and the fact that they didn't give me a sleeping pill until 2:00 A.M. might explain alot.  He said my white blood cell count was up to 25, so he said he couldn't see WHY I wouldn't be released today, but I had to still wait for Dreyfuss to come in, since he was the admitting physician, and what Dr. Paredes office said.   Dreyfuss showed up much later, but said he would released me but it was still up to Paredes office.   FINALLY by 3:00 P.M. I was out of there.  

February 2, 2004

Had to see Chemello today

February 3, 2004

Had to see Dreyfuss today.

February 5, 2004

Had to see Paredes today, and he wants me in every 2 weeks now, because of my white blood cell count being low.  He said, it's because of the infection that it dropped so low, and that my body is still struggling to fight the infection.

February 6, 2004

Saw Dr. Emme today, finally released from the hysterectomy.   Don't have to see him for another year.  He wanted to see my back, since the incision had started to reopen, and Emme and his wonderful sense of humor said I just have bad tissue in my back....WHY THANK YOU VERY MUCH.....

March 7, 2004

Our 23rd wedding anniversary

Kids are home on spring break.  Only 2 months left before Becky Graduates.

March 8, 2004

Went in for my fasting lab work

March 10, 2004 

Saw Dr. Chemello today.   My cholesterol level is GREAT....wooohooo, at least SOMETHING is wonderful in my body.   My white blood cell count is up to 4.9.  I see Dr. Paredes in 2 weeks.  

My birthday - the 5 of us went to see Phantom of the Opera....WONDERFUL show.  My back is open, but Dreyfuss said it is healing.

March 11, 2004

Saw Dreyfuss again.  Said everything is healing, though I still have a fever, he doesn't want to put me on any antibiotics in fear it will mess with my WBC.  

March 17, 2004    

Still running fever and saw Dreyfuss.    Gave me leviquin, and I will see him in 2 weeks.  I'm throwing a huge party the day I walk out of his office, never having to return. 

March 25, 2004

• I saw Dr. Paredes today and my white blood cell count is FINALLY going up.....up to 6.  wooohooo, now if I could just get my hemoglobin up where it belongs....but the bleeding from my back isn't helping that any. 

April 6, 2004

Saw Dreyfuss again, been throwing up since saturday, and running fever.  can't keep anything down, and he gave me leviquin and celebrex for the pain.    Took the celebrex as soon as I got home, and it immediately came back up.  Dr. Chemello advised me not to try taking any meds until I could start keeping food/liquids down.

April 7, 2004

Still running fever, still throwing up and haven't urinated in over 24 hours.  Called Dreyfuss' office and left a message, but haven't heard anything back.

April 8, 2004

Still not able to keep anything down, including water.   STill have not urniated nor have I heard from Dreyfuss so I am going to the ER.

After several hours in the ER, I was admitted to the hospital with dehydration.  They also did a culture of my back while in the ER, and it did show a staph infection.  

April 9, 2004

Dr. Chemello came in early and said if I was able to keep all three meals down today, I could go home tonight.  We discussed in length the situation with my back. 

April 13, 2004

Saw Dr. CHemello today, and made the decision to see a wound care specialist.   While I was in the hospital all the nurses told me, that I needed to get another opinion on my back since it's gone on for SO long.   SOOO, I called and made an appointment with Dr. Ennis, for Monday, April 19, 2004

The best thing I ever did was to see Dr. Ennis, (the wound care specialist)  He sent me to another plastic surgeon for a second opinion.  With that second opinion I went back to Dr. Dreyfuss, and asked him to do the surgery.  FINALLY my back has closed and healed. 

August 2004

Becky has moved to Florida, and has a job at Disney World.   Of course, she moved just in time for the first hurricane to hit us....Not a fun thing to experience. 

September 2004

As my surgeon said, I flunked my mammogram this year.   Scared the crap out of me.   They found calcification in the left breast, but the surgeon said there wasn't even enough to do a biopsy, so I have to return in 6 months for a follow up mammogram.  

October 2004

We're TRYING to do the nipple surgery again.   Hopefully this time it will work.

November 4, 2004

Dr. Weber will be doing my arthopedic knee surgery today.   Then I'm off to Florida for my recovery.... 

Dr. Weber said I did so well, that I would not need PT....THANK GOODNESS...

Winter was pretty uneventful, since I spent most of it in Florida.

March 2005

Time for the yearly mammogram....I wasn't even nervous this time.  But, that was my first mistake

The calcium from the previous mammogram had multplied, so they wanted to do a biopsy, since that can be a early sign for cancer....I sat in Dr. Chemello's office and just burst out crying when he told me.  Luckily, Julie was on duty, and sat and talked with me for a LONG time. 

I called and got the needle biopsy scheduled....that was a strange experience in itself.   VERY strange table they use for that procedure. 

After the long wait, it was just calcium and not cancer, but I have to repeat the mammo in 6 months, to be sure it's not multiplying again...

After that stressful experience decided it was time to go see Becky again. 

April,  2005

Returned from Florida and saw Dr. Dreyfuss.   He agreed since we  had three failed nipple surgeries, he would go on to the tattoo process.  That would be scheduled in one month.

May 2005   

FINALLY the tattoo....I've only been waiting 3 1/2 years for this point....to finally be DONE....

Well, foolish me to think that this would actually go my way....Dr. Dreyfuss did the tattoo, but, from day one, it was not right.  It was oozzzzing, something, none of my other tats had ever done.  It was red, hot, and still draining.  I did call, to let him know, but, I was told not to worry about it.   What had me concerned was the fact that the color from the tattoo was coming off with the drainage.  But, still I was told not to worry.   The area around the tattoo continued to get worse, to the point where there was NO color left from the tattoo.,

June 2005

Tattoo continues to worsen, but Dr. Dreyfuss said not to worry about it....it will be fine.....

July 12, 2005   

Saw Dr. Drefuss again.   The breast has definitely gotten worse, but he told me not to worry about it, and just use A & D on it.  

July 14, 2005

Saw Dr. Chemello, and he said I definitely had cellulitis in the breast, and contacted Dr. Dreyfuss to see if I should be admitted.  Dr. DReyfuss did not feel the need at that time. 

July 15, 2005

I end up in the Emergency Room.  After 8 hours in the ER, I'm admitted with cellulitis, and 5 days of IV antibiotics.  Thank goodness for Dr. Chemello, who has come through for me once again, when in fact, I FEEL, it should have been Dr. Dreyfuss dealing with it. 

August 25, 2006

The process is starting all over again.  September 11, 2006 I will be having a mastectomy of the left breast with immediate reconstruction.  Dr. Swenson will be doing the mastectomy and Dr. Dreyfuss will immediately come in to start the reconstruction.  He will put in an expander, and I will have to go in weekly for saline injections.  After several months, I will then go in for the expander to be removed and an implant inserted.

October 2006

NBC ran a contest essay contest for Breast Cancer Survivors.   Becky has always been a good writer, and sent, an essay 50 words or less, why I should be honored at Wrigley Field as a survivor.   It must have been one heck of an essay, since I was one of 20 that were picked from thousands of letters.  I had to honor to meet Ryne Sandberg,and participate with the Cub players on the field.  Was truly an experience I will never forget

October 7, 2006

Becky and I participated in the 5K Breast Cancer Run at Disney's Animal Kingdom.  I can't even put into words what the Susan G. Komen Foundation does for Breast Cancer and it's survivors...

November 5, 2006

The mastectomy and reconstruction this time, was a breeze....no complications, been going in for my saline injections and only have one left.  I am very pleasantly surprised at how easy this process has been...I had my last saline injection today.   Now we wait a few months before the permanent implant is inserted.