This is a FWD that I got and I thought was interesting.
>From: "joannlou" >To: <"Undisclosed-Recipient:;"@enter.net> >Subject: this and that hope your week end was a good one. JoannLou >Date: Sun, 14 Jul 2002 19:24:21 -0400 > > Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, went to > > a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries. > > Several people noticed her sitting in her car with > > the windows rolled up and her eyes closed, with both > > hands behind the back of her head. One customer who > > had been at the store for a while became concerned > > and walked over to her car. He noticed that Linda's > > eyes were now open, and she looked very strange. He > > asked her if she was okay. Linda replied that she'd > > been shot in the back of the head, and had been > > holding her brains in for over an hour. The man > > called the paramedics, who broke into the car > > because the doors were locked and Linda refused to > > remove her hands from her head. When they finally > > got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread > > dough on the back of her head. A Pillsbury biscuit > > canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud > > noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of > > dough hit her in the back of her head. When she > > reached back to find out what it was, she felt the > > dough and thought it was her brains. She had > > initially passed out, but quickly recovered and > > tried to hold her brains in for over an hour until > > someone noticed and came to her aid. Yes, Linda was > > a blonde.
> >=================================== >A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver looked at the child and blurted out, "That`s the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" > >Infuriated, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong. > >"The bus driver insulted me," she fumed. > >The man sympathized and said, "Why, he shouldn't say things to insult passengers. He could be fired for that." > >"You're right," she said. "I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind!" > >"That's a good idea," the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey."
>====================================== >A trucker stops at a red light and a blonde catches up > >to him. She knocks on the window and says, "Hi, > >my name is Heather and you are losing some of your > >load." > >The trucker just ignores her, the light changes, and > >he proceeds down the street. At the next light, the > >blonde again catches up and says, "Hi, my name is > >Heather, and you are losing some of your load." > > > >He ignores her again and continues down the street. At > >the next red light the blonde catches up, all out > >of breath, knocks on the window and says,"Hi, my name > >is Heather and you are losing some of your > >load." > > > >The trucker looks at her and finally he says, "Hi, my > >name is Kevin, it's snowing, and I'm driving a salt > >truck
>===================================== >HooRah for Dennis Miller!! He said recently on his show, regarding the >judges who declared the Pledge of Allegiance unconstitutional: > >"So, Your Honor, the Pledge is unconstitutional because it says 'Under God'. >Guess that means when you were sworn in with your hand on a Bible, and at >the end of your oath repeated, 'So Help Me God' that makes your job >unconstitutional, therefore you have no job, which means your ruling doesn't >mean s---." >
>============================================ >What GOD Is Like > >GOD IS A LITTLE LIKE..... > >God is a little like General Electric. He brings good things to life. > > > >God is a little like Hallmark cards. He cared enough to send the very best. > > > >God is a little like Coca-Cola. He is the real thing. > > > >God is a little like Tide. He gets out the stains that others leave behind. > > > >God is a little like VO-5 Hair Spray. He holds through all kinds of weather. > > > >God is a little like Allstate Insurance. You're in good hands with Him. > > > >God is a little like Sears. He has everything. > > > >God is a little like Hellmann's Mayonnaise. He brings out the best. > > > >God is a little like a Visa card. He's everywhere you want to be. > > > >God is a little like Ford. He has a better idea. > > > >God is a little like Alka Seltzer. Oh, what a relief He is. > > > >God is a little like Scotch Tape. You can't see Him but you know He's there. > > > >God is a little like Folger's Coffee. He's the best part of waking up. > > > >God is a little like the Energizer Bunny. He keeps going, and going, and going.... > > > >God is a little like American Express. Don't leave home without Him. > > > >God is a little like Dial Soap. Aren't you glad you know Him? Don't you wish everyone did?