C'est moi

Date: Sept 5, 2007
Time: 11:34 am
NEW BLOG

NEW BLOG!!! CC's Progress notes
save it in your bookmarks....

Date: March 19, 2007
Time: 11:21 am
Smart Facts

The average IQ is between 90 and 109. If you score 132 or more, you can call yourself a genius.

Chris Langan has an IQ of 195, the highest IQ known in the USA. He could talk at 6 months and was reading by age 4. He lives in a very small apartment and works part-time as a bouncer.

American Jeff Avery has an IQ between 134 and 150. He spent eight months in jail after being arrested for assault with intent to kill, before opening a motorcycle repair shop. Staying in school makes you smarter.1

Researchers have shown that each year of schooling is good for about 3.5 IQ points.

Conversely, dropouts lose IQ points. Swedish researchers found a 1.8-point IQ loss for each year of high school missed after dropping out.

Summer vacation means brain drain. Two independent studies show an IQ decline over the summer, increasing with every month out of school. Kids hit hardest are the ones with the least academic orientation.

IQ marks have increased over the decades. If people taking an IQ test today were scored in the same way as people 50 years ago then 90% of them would be classified in the genius level. Tests have to be adjusted every once in a while because of this, to keep the average IQ score at 100. Experts think the rise in IQ scores has happened because of increased education and the advent of television and mass communications (i.e. we know more).

What you put in your mouth can affect your brain. A study of 1 million students in New York City revealed that school pupils did 14 percent better on IQ tests after preservatives, dyes, and artificial flavors were removed from their lunches. The weakest students benefited the most from healthier food.

People with high IQ tend to live longer and suffer less from certain diseases like depression, dementia and schizophrenia, but they also tend to suffer more from obsessive-compulsive disorder.

Research in Scotland has shown people with an IQ 15-points lower-than-average were 20% less likely to see their 76th birthday. Those with an IQ 30-points lower-than-average were 37% less likely to see that birthday.

Although IQ correlates with school performance and job performance, it does not correlate very much with personal income. The best estimate available suggests that IQ explains less than 1/6 of the variance in income.

Caffeine can improve your IQ score (doesn't make you smarter but makes you more alert and increases short-term memory).

Birth weight and IQ are correlated (weakly). On average, every 2 lb increase is 4.6 IQ points for boys, 2.8 for girls.

Some researchers say that IQ - a predictor of income - is partly inherited. Researchers compared the incomes of fathers and sons and found if you were in the bottom five percent of society you had a one in 20 chance or less of getting to the top.

IQ is not influenced by family size or birth order.

Wine drinkers on average have a higher IQ than beer drinkers. Studies show a slight advantage to wine drinkers — but do wine drinkers have higher IQs because they drink wine or vice-versa ? It may be that some people with high IQ reach a high social status and then choose to drink wine to fit in. (see table below for alcohol consumption data of high IQ countries).

Modern neuro-imaging techniques show that to some degree brain size is correlated to IQ.

Workers distracted by phone calls, e-mails and text messages suffer a greater loss of IQ than a person smoking marijuana, a British study shows.

A chemical found in strawberries and other coloured fruit and vegetables has been found to boost the memory. Fisetin, a naturally occurring flavonoid, stimulates the signalling pathways that enhance long-term memory, according to the Californian and Japanese researchers. The catch - lead researcher Pamela Maher said it would take 4.5kg a day to achieve a beneficial effect.

A recent study has shown that it is possible to increase one’s IQ by regularly playing puzzle games.

A drop in IQ has been found to be an early predictor of Alzheimer’s disease—up to a decade before the onset of the health problem

Date: Nov 15, 2006
Time: 11:45 am
day off

it seems as though i'm updating this less and less every month. well for all those who care, i'm doing fine.
i convocated yestarday with honors (Pro. faculties don't have the "distinction" or "high distinction" statuses) which was a nice surprise. not that i ever had any doubt, but you never know, nothing is gaurenteed. my grandmother, mom and joe were there with me. my grandma was so happy for me, she was proud of me and my mom was beaming. lol. it feels good to be the first university graduate. what i didn't understand though is why U of T inducted a new chancillor at the event. his ceremony took more than half the time we were all there - isn't the ceremony supposed to be about us?? at least the new guy gave a really good speech about living life and moving forward with passion as it drives true happiness and success.
the job on the floor is BUSY, BUSY. i mostly deal with the patients who are on internal medicine but who are in isolation due to infectious diseases, so the TB, pneumonia, MRSA positive, shingles, etc patients. it's funny b/c i saw linh and steven by my hospital and when i told them what i was doing steven was like "omg isn't that like the most dangerous job you can have??" lol. it's true that the job is very challenging and brings with it a lot of emotional stress. like trying to get something ordered for your patient or handling the level of pain your patient is in. you definatly need to know what you are doing and talking about b/c these pt's can die if you aren't doing your job, esp since MD's hardly ever come and see their patients. there is also a lot of work that has to be done with patient's families and teaching them about health issues. it's really eye-opening as to how much RN's do and how much pt care is in our hands, it would be amazing if the general public knew how hard this job is. as difficult as it is, as much running around as i do, and as dehydrated as i get, this job is damn fulfilling b/c i know that patient's health would be in jeparody if i wasn't there. i think this knowledge is really changing who i am, i can feel the difference in myself already. i'm only 3 weeks into my 3 month orientation, and i am handling a 4 pt load already. in the first week i was a wreck, running around and trying to get everything done, scatter brained, unable to manage all the responsibilities and stress. 3 weeks later i'm feeling calm and collected - like i'm able to prioritize and get things done in a manner that is applying my nursing judgement. i still have realy hard days that make me feel retarded but not so much now. my precepting buddy tells me that i catch on really quick which is kind of nice since i feel like i'm too slow. generally the floor is very supportive and i feel lucky to be around such a nice bunch of ppl. at convocation i saw a girl who did her internshp on my floor and she wasn't offered a job...which makes me think that i must be doing something right.

Date: Oct 10, 2006
Time: 8:50 pm
notes.

- sanding a hardwood floor Sucks Ass. almost done my room: furniture buying and varnishing left. goodbye couch.
- ikea furniture is kinda expensive, it always looks good but i question the quality of the pieces.
- My market bakery in Kensington Market has yummy baked goods (esp the Bee Sting Squares).
- Xyience's commercial about their Cranbery energy drink has a chick dancing on a chair in a skimpy black crop top and short shorts, with fire balls exploding behind her, which poses the question what this girl has to do with an energy drink?
- 2 of my younger cousins are in first year uni, and i listened to them complain about what a shock university is, during the turkey weekend. that brings back memories. it's interesting to think back and realize what happened to us in the past 4 years...how we changed, meet new ppl, lost (contact) ppl, all those experiences.
- i'm old.

Someone wise once said... You have the ability to attain whatever you seek; within you is every potential you can imagine. Always aim higher than you believe you can reach. So often, you'll discover that when your talents are set free by your imagination, you can achieve any goal. If people offer their help or wisdom as you go through life, accept it gratefully. You can learn much from those who have gone before you. But never be afraid or hesitant to step off the accepted path and head off in your own direction if your heart tells you that it's the right way for you. Always believe that you will ultimately succeed at whatever you do, and never forget the value of persistance, discipline, and determination. You are meant to be whatever you dream of becoming.
Smile, will you? :)

Date: Sept 17, 2006
Time: 2:05 pm
over a month

it's been a month since i last updated. i suppose a lot has happened but i'm just way to lazy to update this thing. i have a few more days until i get my temp license to start working (hello internal medicine!) which i'm excited about. along with the excitment, of course, comes a bit of anxiety and fear. not at the task at hand but at saying goodbye to being a kid/student/whatever and jumping into full-time job adulthood. it's new and it's a bit scary, but it's inevitable in life so i just gotta run into it head first and see what happens.
medical school. i have so many feelings and thoughts around this that i can't even talk about it or type about it. sighs.
while i'm on the topic of medical school, there are so many ppl who are applying to medical school and who want to be doctors b/c they feel that is the only thing they want/can do. grow the fuck up. honestly 90% of these ppl have no idea what it takes to be a doctor and their passion of medicine is truely fuelled by prestige/respect/money, having the title of Dr. or impressing their family/parents. if ppl honestly looked at their intentions of going into medicine, instead of this "medicine tunnel vision" that every undergraduate life science student is experiencing then maybe they would be able to realize that you don't need to be a doctor to help ppl. i think ppl need to know what they want, and their goals in life before automatically deeming themselves a failure if they didn't get into medical school. yes this is all coming from a RN, but i can do what i feel my goal in life is - making a difference, helping ppl. and i don't have to be a doctor to do so, if i get in i get in, but it's not the end of the world if i don't b/c i can still do what i'm made to do. i've met so many ppl who want to go into medicine, all for the wrong reasons, and ppl who would not make good doctors, but want to be doctors for the wrong reasons, so it's about time that i've said this. i mean if you feel like you want to help someone be a social worker, income and social economic status is the largest determinant of health. a social worker can help a person/family as much as a MD.
on a totally different topic, i went on a cruise with my family and it was amazing. cruises are the way to go. i will get on it to hopefully plan a cruise getaway for the crew for next summer. pictures on facebook.com.

Date: Aug 16, 2006
Time: 9:05 am
can't sleep...going crazy

i tried to go to bed last night at 3:30am, but did not fall asleep until 5am. Then i had to get up at 7am b/c i had to meet someone for 5 minutes. now it's 9am and i'm wide awake, but i don't want to me. naturally i should still be sleeping. i don't know if i shoudl try to go to sleep or just stay awake, i actually don't know if i can sleep if i wanted to. i hope this doesn't kick me in the ass later on today or tomorrow.
oh yestarday i made a Sour Cream Coffee Cake. it was the first time i ever made it. i got the recipe from a girl from my nursing class who made this cake and it was very yummy. anyways, my cake was ok, i think i'm going to tweak the recipe a little. and i made cream cheese frosting which was really good, but i think maybe a bit too sweet b/c after a few pieces of cake covered in frosting (b/c it really was that good), i was on a sugar high that was so high my mind started to hurt. hahaha. did that make sense? oh well, whatever, give me a break, i only had 2 hours of sleep.

Date: Aug 11, 2006
Time: 2:04 pm
finally a day to myself

yum, yum a turkey and ham subway sub. tasty.

My exam was yestarday and i think it went well. I don't want to really talk about it until i get my license and it's all official. my mind is still in "exam" mode so the relief hasn't hit me yet. however, i am very much enjoying this sub.
I think i'm going back to my pop-teenybopper roots. That’s the only way I can explain my sudden love for various “cheesy” pop songs. Danity Kane's "ShowStopper"—amazing! I have been singing Christina’s song all weekend. And after listening to the new Justin Timberlake single on repeat, I have decided I will now be bringing a JT renaissance back. he looks as hot as ever.
I have been completely lost with words recently. it's hard to write in this blog anymore. I have been writing and deleting and writing and deleting, because I really don’t know what I want to write. Feelings and words don’t go together anymore, the past days – or even weeks. I don’t know what’s happening, perhaps it’s because I have been unconsciously disconnected myself with any type of feeling. internally i'm all caught-up with the next few years, planning it out, and organizing my time - but not getting anywhere. do i want to work at sick kids? do i want to go into adults? how will this effect my application?...uneasiness and undecided.
this update has been random. i must include though, that i am obsessed with cake decorating. check out these amazing cakes and cupcakes, and if you search "cake" or "cupcakes" on the website you come up with some of the most beautiful baked goods. the work and time that go into these cakes are remarkable. such talent. i wish i was talented.

Date: Aug 03, 2006
Time: 2:34 pm
less than a week to go

the big day is on Aug 09 at the Metro Convention Center beginning at 8AM - 5PM. i don't feel ready yet b/c there is just so much i haven't covered yet. anyways this is a short entry to say that i'm hiding out at joe's away from the heat. my un-A/C'd house is literally like 55 degrees.
getting some studying done, but mainly learning how to tackle this beast. hopefully i will get my confidence up in the next 6 days and get my act together.

also too, i was thinking about what i wanted to do since starting Sept i won't have a university to go to...and baking classes seem really fun to me. maybe i'll take like a for interest only baking class at George brown. either that or cantonese classes. of course on the side i'll be employed, practicing my MCAT, and writing my papers to be published, but i feel like i need to be actively in school somehow. i've always been in school, i was in summer school "learning" Mandarin every year in grade school. in high school i did night school. in university i did an extra semester. you don't learn how much of your identiy is being a student until you aren't one anymore. i look back at university and only have fond memories (except the ones at the FON) when everyone is studying hard and complaining about how much there is to study. and honestly, bitching to each other about how ridiculous it is for them to expect us to know all this material (ok this part i had at the FON). we bitch and bitch but we know we are there for a reason. how great is it to be a student? - studying into the wee hours of the night, eating dinner in the middle of the night, waking up in the middle of the day, hanging out with friends who are going through the same shit you are, abusing your body with copious doses of caffeine, pulling all-nighters (true all nighters - when you are finishing a paper by 8am that u have to hand in by 9am), and getting through it all alive. some of the best memories i have of my youth include studying hard with friends. i brace myself to prepare for the 7-7 or 11-11 ral world...i'm such a nerd.

Date: July 23, 2006
Time: 12:04 am
not enough time

17 days left and i'm feeling like i'm way behind where i should be. i'll be a busy little bee for the next while. let me tell you the routine i have set up for the next 17/16 days:
2am or 3am: sleep
11: wake up/b-fast
12: library
5-7: 1 hr class somewhere in there (varies depending on the day)
8-9: dinner, shower, rest
10: read until bedtime
today i deviated though, i spent the morning cleaning up my living room and donating a van full of old shoes and clothes to Value Village. in the afternoon i watched "you've got mail" with Tom Hanks & Meg Ryan, and "something's gotta give" on TBS. i love these movies and i can't get enough of them, i have seen each of these films 3 or 4 times. in "you've got mail" the big business versus little family owned business alongside the emotional conflict of falling in love over the net but hating each other in real life. like this quote that is just cheese, but of course i still cried:
Kathleen Kelly (meg ryan): [in an email to Joe Fox (tom hanks)] The odd thing about this form of communication is that you're more likely to talk about nothing than something. But I just want to say that all this nothing has meant more to me than so many somethings.
awhhhhh. so sweet. don't even get me started on Something's gotta give. how could anyone not LOVE jack nicholson? if you haven't seen it, watch it. it's funny, charming and you will end up adoring the characters.
i have a craving for Red Velvet cupcakes that i just can't shake.

i really should be working.

Date: July 19, 2006
Time: 1:34 pm
back from Cuba and ready to beat this CRNE

the trip to Cayo Coco was amazing. we had a great time. it was beautiful and the beaches were perfect. gorgeous waters. we went on excursions which were really fun. learned a lot.
vacation briefing: monday we checked out the resort, beach and the buffets. walked from one end of the beach to the other, tanned and drank. tuesday we chilled, booked our trips, caught a salsa show and dancing. wednesday we went on a day excursion to the city of Moron (pronounced Mor-roan) by bus, took a horse and carriage ride around the town and saw the sights of the town, went on a speedboat on a lake leading into canals through the mangrove trees (breathtaking), went to a crocodile/turtle farm where i held a baby crocodile (not sedated) and a parrot. that was one great excursion, worth every peso. thurs we went snorkling on an island with 3 coral reefs. the bus picked us up from the resort and took us to Playa Pillar beach, a famous beach where Hemingway hung out, where we took a speedboat to the island about 10 mins away. had a quick snorkling lesson and saw tons of fish! very awesome, even though one of those bastard fish bit my finger when i was feeding them bread. saw some bunnies, saw more fish, fed more fish, played in the water, and walked around the island. then we went back to Playa Pillar beach and hung out there for 2 more hours. this beach is like magical or something - so pretty!! friday and saturday we went to the a la carte restuarants where a very talented cuban band proformed for us. sunday we did more tanning and drinking before we had to come back home. one of the best vacations yet, pics on facebook.

Studying

Canadian Registered Nursing Exam (CRNE) is in 21 days.
So i have 21 days for you to study.
After taking away 3 Sundays, there are only 18 days left.
Let's say i only go out once a week, so that's 3 days, leaving me with only 15 days.
There will probably be 3 more days this summer of heatwave that is way too hot to work so there are only 12 days left.
i usually sleep 8 hours a day, that counts up to 4 days so now i only have 8 left.
i spend about 6 hours eating and watching the Sopranos each day, so 48 hrs are used in this way, leaving me with only 6 days
I spend usually about 3 hours a day speaking to friends and family on MSN, that takes away about half a day, leaving about 5.5 days.
Say i'm sick for a minimum of 2 days, then i'm only left with 3.5 days to study!
that means that i'm only left with 3.5 days to study 4 years of nursing practice. i better get to it.

p.s.: The Sopranos is a really good show. p.p.s: Congrats Howie!

Date: July 6, 2006
Time: 12:34 am
3 more days

Iberostar Daiquiri 3 days and counting.
i'm so excited. i can not wait...the beach looks breathtaking. i can't help but grin ear to ear when i think about this vacation.

Date: June 24, 2006
Time: 2:18 pm
awesome time

thank you everyone for coming out yest to celebrate my birthday with me! even though parts of it are still a blur, and i really i don't even recall leaving Linda's place. special thanks to linda.tommy.paul for hosting the get-together at their place. i had so much fun! you know you had a good time when you can't remember all of it. haha. thanks everyone for making the 22 special - you guys are my Rocks, and i love you all. picture soon.

Now for sth unrelated....
Her/His Diary
HER DIARY
Sunday night I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friends all day long so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment.
Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk, he agreed but he kept quiet and aloof. I asked him what was wrong - he said, "Nothing."
I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry. On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior; I don't know why he didn't say, "I love you,too."
When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there and watched TV; he seemed distant and vacant. Finally I decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he came to bed and to my surprise he responded to my caress and we made love, but I still felt that his thoughts were somewhere else. I decided that I could not take it anymore, so I decided to confront him with the situation but he had fallen asleep.
I started crying and cried until I also fell asleep. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.
HIS DIARY
Today the Oilers lost, but at least I got laid.

Date: June 19, 2006
Time: 3:10 pm
bday wishlist 2006

i'm turning the BIG 22 tmw! my how time as passed... since school will be ending soon, I have found an immense pleasure in deleting and tossing of things, papers, anything. I have become so organized I almost think I have changed personas—I have even started sorting my little brother’s belongings in effort to avoid clutter.
I don’t know what exactly it is that makes all this deleting so appealing. You would think that by being forced out of the student lifestyle I would have grabbed on to everything and anything that reminded me of the life I’ve known for the past four…ten…(almost) twenty-two years.
Plus, I have always been a very good pack-rat. i keep everything! When I started sorting, packing, and moving I discovered just how grand my obsession for keeping things was: lovenotes from grade four crushes, make-up stolen from my mother’s 1980s collection, empty perfume bottles, undeveloped rolls of film (most likely from 300 level seats at a BSB concert), old toys from the CNE, tags from clothing I wore in grade nine—it was all stored somewhere, waiting for me.
Not anymore! Once I started throwing a few things out, I couldn’t stop. It became therapeutic...w/ every toss of something I had once coveted I felt refreshed. In your face, belongings — I don’t need you to hold me back! (But here’s hoping someone at Goodwill will use you to move forward with.)
i don't know why i kept all of this stuff but after i finished cleaning out my shelves, i started going through other collections— email archives, and phone numbers. Delete, delete, delete. it’s not that I’ve lost my sentimentality...i guess i simply find it easier to define what will be important now, rather than it is to hang onto things which once seemed significant. i am not demolishing, just renovating. Making room for everything that’s about to arrive in the upcoming years.

I'm pretty content with what i have, but b/c i've been asked so many times what i want for my bday - here it is (in some kind of order):
1. liposuction (i know i know, only in an ideal world, but seriously, i would love you forever)
2. sign up/GC to a local Gym
3. Dr. Ho's muscle massager
4. facial moisterizer
5. sparkling chandlier earrings via Bitter Sweet
6. GC to Shoppers Drug mart/sephora/the Mall

Date: June 11, 2006
Time: 4:10 pm
procrastination

 
A is for age:
21. 22 in 9 days

B is for booze choice:
colourful fruity drinks: bellini, daquiris, margaritas, etc

C is for favorite colour:
blue or pink

D is for dad's name:
Michael

E is for essential things to bring to a party:
friends  

F is for favorite food: 
Subway subs. licks. baked chicken wings! the list goes oooonnnn.  i love to eat

G is for goal in life:
to be happy 

H is for hometown:
Toronto, Ont

I is for instruments I (once used to) play:
recorder

J is for jam/jelly I like:
homemade strawberry and rhubarb from the West coast mmmm

K is for number of kids I'd like to have:
2-3?

L is for living arrangement:
2 parents, 2 brothers

M is for mom's name:
Lisa

N is for the name of my other half:
Joe

O is for overnight hospital stay:
none that i can remember

P is for phobias:
rodents

Q is for favorite quote:
"are you adequately prepared to rock?" 
— Principal Skinner

R is for the longest relationship lasted:
2.2 years..and still going

S is for favorite song at the moment:
Mary J blige - Enough crying

T is for time I wake up:
depends, w.o the ER 2 pm; with the ER 6am.

U is for underwear:
low risers

V is for favorite vege:
i love them all esp brussel sprouts, broccoli and eggplant

W is for weekend plan:
ER, watch UFC, write essay 

X is for x-rays I've had:
never had one

Y is for yummy food I make:
cheesecake supcakes

Z is for zodiac sign:
gemini

Kendal vs. Kalib fight last night was so good. man it totally sucks that Kalib lost b/c of his broken rib. i hope they bring him back. he was the only Canadian on the show! last night's episode was also the retun of Team Dagger!!! hahaha, i love them. LOL.
to do: tapes, researching the pathology of a few disorders, write paper, edit artical.

Date: June 04, 2006
Time: 1:05 am
Bring it on

Could this place be any more perfect?

Iberostar Daiquiri, in Ciego de Avila, Cuba

This trip is going to be so nice. what a gorgeous place with great reviews. i'll see you there.

these past few weeks have been pretty busy with the ER. i have seen into the lives of too many people. it is always the saddest shit that happens to the most innocent people. shift after shift, it builds up until it becomes overwhleming...but you can't show weakness or tears in the ER, so i brought it home and cried in the shower. after that shift i just broke down and sobbed my eyes out. i wept and mourned until i was gasping for air while in the back of my mind i knew that there was more patients to come.

Date: May 15, 2006
Time: 4:25 pm
congrats to you <3
Awesome news today! Joe got into U of T Med! yay!!! oh i was so happy that i cried. he's handling it a lot better than i am. lol.
i was on www.oprah.com and she has this recipes for Oprah's "Legends Lemon Drop Martini", and wow are they good! at the next pot luck/outing i'm so bringing a pitcher of this stuff:
INGREDIENTS

The juice of 6 lemons

4 Tbsp. sugar

6 fresh mint leaves

4 shots of vodka

Ice in shaker

A sugar-rimmed martini glass
Mix lemon juice, sugar and vodka in a martini shaker filled with ice. Shake well and pour into sugar-rimmed martini glass. Garnish with mint.
i like to destress after a long day at work with my TV (speakign of TV PB and 24 are on tonight!!), food and alcohol. yum.

after a month in the ER i have seen a lot of things...along the way i have learned a few things from my patients:
#1. No matter how annoyed you are at your mother being incarcerated don't start swollowing razor blades and teaspoons. Now I know, who among us hasn't thought wistfully of doing that but it turns out that it's NOT a good idea.
#2 Never, ever leave shampoo bottles, beer bottles or any long, circular object on the floor because someday you will fall on it and it will somehow, work its way up your rectum.
#3. When cleaning your bathtub with some acidic cleaning solution, if you splash a large amount of it on your face and arms, vinegar is not a good neutralizing solution.
#4. an assessment starting with the sentance: "it was the most crystal meth i've ever done. i shoudln't have bought it from that guy i didn't know" isn't going to end with a postive health outcome
#5. No matter how tough you are, don't cross the street when you are drunk because the moving vehicle will win.
#6. for the love of God, "Worser" is not a word! Patients with chronic (back, neck, head, abd, etc) pain come into the ER at 3am because the pain suddenly got "worser".
#7. If one of your kids needs to be brought to the ER for an asthma attack, that is good reason to bring the other three children in for dental problems. common people.

Date: May 2, 2006
Time: 3:15 am
i don't know what your problem is, but i bet it's hard to pronounce
some people are so fucking rude. i don't get it. especially if you are rude to students who are there to Learn. seriously, who the fuck do these ppl think they are? my outrage stems from an incident that happened when i was in major...another student and i. an incident that was grossly blown out of proportion and exaggerated, no one was hurt and it really was nothing more than a miscommunication. however the aftermath from this fucking cunt of a bitch's reaction has had long lasting demoralizing effects.
so not only was it NOT a big deal, and she overreacted like a lunatic, but i wasn't even wrong. after i saw in the doctor's notes what i had said word for word written by the MD. for God's sake it was 6 yes or no questions that weren't vital. but that's beside the point, even if i was wrong, she's supposed to be a professional. no way would i have reacted like that to a student. it was just completely inappropriate and unprofessional, which is surprising b/c she is really good at her job - really really good.
the saddest part to me is that, u have a great opportunity in a top downtown hospital, affiliated with U of T, the number one trauma center in Toronto, combined with a few selected students who needed references to be placed in this unit and most of us are treated like crap. we are there to learn, this is my second week there, you would think that the staff there would be welcoming. instead the feeling that i get from some staff is that we have overstayed our welcome already.
i gets knots in my stomach just thinking about it, b/c it's hard work. but i love it. i love the unit. i haven't had a bad pt yet. i think i am meant for this and had i been a newly hired staff member i think i would fit right in. currently my main problem is that i am really hating a few of the nursing staff there. i guess all i can do is try to avoid the bitches and seek shelter from my preceptor.
the saying "nurses eat their young", has never rang so damn true.

Date: Apr 25, 2006
Time: 11:09 am
Loaded 44 on the low, where the cheese at?
12 hr shifts Tmw, Thur, Fri. 7am-7pm. 2 in Major and 1 in intermediate - i'm going to be so tired!
Prison break! 3 more episodes...ohhh it's looking good! and 24 is getting down to the wire too. monday night TV is very enjoyable.
isn't it funny how u can think u are in a honest relationship but all the other person does is insinuate to random things for no reason? it's great. nothing like it. :D
this was the dumbest thing i've read today: Eva Longoria doesn’t respect the career of her sweetie San Antonio Spurs player Tony Parker — or her own. The “Desperate Housewives” star thinks acting is “silly.” She told DarkHorizons.com: “I think what Tony does is silly, too. He plays basketball, as a form of entertainment so he's basically playing a game.” Bravo Eva. Bravo.

Date: Apr 23, 2006
Time: 10:59 pm
My place.
i love the ER. there is absolutely nothing like it. there is no other place i would rather dedicate my career in nursing or medicine to...it's just awesome. the acuity of the patients, the randomness, the high intensity and ultra fast pace. it's go-go-go from hour 1 to hour 12. i think i literally sit down like 10 mins a day when i'm on the floor, funny thing is i don't even mind. i really enjoy it.
nurses there have in the ER medical directives too, so you can do more without waiting for an MD order. everyone there is very nice and know so much. for instance today a woman had half her face beat in and her arm broken by her husband, an 80 year old man fell from 20 steps and was rushed to trauma (vital signs absent upon arrival) and sent off to ICU after, a 25 year old female (French exchange student) was going into shock from her period, a homeless man would NOT leave the waiting room and got violent with security, another homelessman was high off his tree on crack and had his foot shattered by his homeless street buddies, a 21 year old could not stop shaking from her crystal meth trip, another man came in with epidural abscess and a psych patient bit off his IV and squirted blood everywhere. i won't even report the type of things i saw yestarday. oh man is Emerg. is kick ass. i'm so glad i found it.

Date: Apr 8, 2006
Time: 3:52 pm
studying break thought
I don't think i can get out of this tunnel. i see what i see and want what i want. I suppose everyone can be like this when they get too passionate about something. We will always want something better. But I genuinely felt and still feel that if I pushed myself, just a bit, not even a lot, but just a tiny bit, that I could have achieved something better. And i'm left feeling this way all the time. i have no idea what it is the drives me to focus on the 100% and only prepare for the 90%. maybe it is this discrepancy that keeps me motivated...to alway shave goals that u are running towards. And what is life if you have no goals, or if you do not keep on pushing yourself to the better, the greater, the perfection, and the beyond perfection?

exams on monday: Canadian Politics and Canada's Health care system. MY LAST EXAM SEASON AT U OF T EVER!

Date: Apr 8, 2006
Time: 3:02 am
ER job interview
I had my ER interview for Fulltime employment at TEGH today. it my first ER interview, but it was also my first job interview EVER. i realized that i never actually had to be interviewed before for a job, i always just got the job after chatting up the boss. haha. needless to say, i did not know what to expect going in, i expected it to be very informal but of course it wasn't. i was interviewed by 2 women: dept manager and nursing staff manager. both were very nice. they sat on the opposite side of the table, looking very official with papers in front of them to write everything i said on. they asked me 25 general/work/personal questions and 6 scenario questions. fuck, it was like a med interview that lasted 1 hr and 10 mins! i think i did ok...but if i had to rate my interview i would give it a 7-8. in the beginning i was stuttering a bit (nervous), and i'm doubting 2-3 of my responses. my overall feeling about the interview was that i didn't really convey my passion about progressing the profession...which was really my fault. in my answers, i stressed my work ability to handle the ER as much as i could, versus my interests within the nursing profession in terms of research and family-centered care. if i could do it over again, i would have practiced more, and researched the hospital. damnit, i felt so dumb b/c i didn't know anything about the hosp. the question that is bothering me the most is "give me an example of when you demonstrated critical thinking as a nurse", and i don't know if my example was really critical thinking, it could be...but, i don't know. After looking around the dept, i don't really want to work there. it seems really patient unfriendly. my first choice for employment is still St. Mikes ER. i hope they offer me a job, and if they do at least i'll know how to do a job interview now!

Date: Apr 5, 2006
Time: 10:10 pm
Prison Break me
what a good episode!! as dumb as it may sound i feel like i know the characters now, esp. Darwin/C-note. awwwh Darwin. AND Wentworth! oh sighs, Wentworth. He was such a cocky bastard before, but damn did he look good in the suit. of course, the whole point of the episode was so that the audience has a greater understanding of the characters, and i think that was accomplished. The doctor's story was a bit unrealistic (unlike everyone elses, haha). anyways, it was exactly what was needed to keep the viewer interested.
I GOT WHAT YOU NEED: :D a nice way to end off the evening.

Date: Apr 5, 2006
Time: 7:33 pm
dreamy abstraction
There's a fine line between wanting enough and wanting too much...to have enough to drive you, but not enough to make you forget what you already have. so how do i find a balenced middle? These past 2 years have been...an emotional blur. a mix of fustration, anger, rage, regret, happiness, worth, fulfillment. in trying to look forward, i'm just really focused on being a fucking good RN in the craziest, most intense ER in Toronto. i want to get through these next 2 weeks to finish this bullshit "semester", a term i use very lightly. i don't want to care how i do on my exams, but i do and i can't stop myself. the option of my ultimate long-term goal still needs to be a possibility for me, no matter how good i am in the ER (or will be). faith in fate, faith in fate, & faith in fate.
"Your talent is God's gift to you. What you do with that talent is your gift back to God." - anonymous

Date: Apr 2, 2006
Time: 12:19 am
Italy, Paris, St. Lucia, St. Maarten?

Oh, the places i will go. Eventually. currently I'm in the process of deciding where to go for my graduation trip. i would love to go to so many places, but any of the above mentioned places are my top 4 that i THINK i can afford. i would love to stroll through Paris and go on the Palace of Versailles Tour, and have Lunch at the Eiffel Tower. Or in Italy, go on the famous Hop-on, Hop-off Shuttle Tours of Rome, and the Excursions to Naples & Pompeii. i'm torn between history and culture, Vs. just relaxing, clearing my mind, sunbathing on a cruise ship. St. Lucia is gorgeous and considered one of the most scenic Caribbean islands. snorkeling along St. Lucia's west coast and exploring the reefs woudl be awesome. i still got lots of time to decide and pick the best trip for this Aug.
i have so much work to do it's unbelievable. next week i'm going to Gerstein everyday after school or clinical. besides school work, if i don't get caught up at the research office i think my ass is going to get fired. oops.
where did the time go??? APRIL already? this semester is winding down and i can't wait to get into the ER @ st. mikes. it's going to be crazy intense, but i'm really looking forward to the challenge. i drew blood from 5 patients last week, for the first time ever. and it only took 1 poke each...thank god. my first 2 times i was a nervous wreck, but after that i was pretty much a pro. i'm actually supposed to get certified before i can draw blood...oh well what my faculty doesn't know won't hurt them. i'm getting my skills up to par and reading a lot about diagnostic testing.
VIP @ The Docks' Can't wait to Party on March 31 2006

what a great fucking time. Almost all of SAC was there, my closest nursing girls, and some friends from UTSC. music was a bit weak, but it was good overall. it was packed downstairs, and the bottles of alcohol and giveaways were flowing all night. getting free shit (MAC Makeup, t-shirts, hummer bodywash, etc) when u are drunk kicks ass, it's like Christmas everytime! i got this sick pink trucker hat during a giveaway. it says Phat Girls. haha

Date: Mar 23, 2006
Time: 8:04 pm
London

I'm visiting London this weekend for Western med interview. i'll be visiting calvin's rez and going for a tour around the campus. that'll be fun!
this is such a cute video: pooping back and forth
apparently Carmen Electra and Dave Navarro have broken up! that's sad...i don't know why.
this week was U of T's Professional Faculty pain week. this means that all the profacs (nursing, dentistry, med, Ot, Pt) were seperated into small groups to develope a comprehensive care plan for a patient. it was pretty good. the med students kept on complaining about their faculty, and how for $18,000 tuition, they didn't know anything and were being taught all this information that wasn't relevent clinically. one girl said that at this tiem last year she wanted to quit b/c she just hated how it how the cirriculum was set up. i've never heard anyone complain about being in that faculty. interesting.
i've missed 24 2x and new prisonbreak! awhhh.

Date: Mar 14, 2006
Time: 10:20 pm
DLM

The cutest picture ever

i hope it still works and the website didn't take it down.

i've underestimated this first-author research project. it's quite a bit of work. lol. however it's not THAT bad. it's pretty fun actually. i'm so diorganized in my work space with 40 open articles all over my desk. to solve this problem i went to a computer course for this program that will electronically organize all your info, make your bibliography, automatically change the entire formatting of your article to match any journal, embed articles and save every article you come across - all at the SAME time. it's sick. anyways, now that i will be organized... U of T ethics board will be tackled ....sometime this year.
i will see you in the medical journals.
i'm meeting my preceptor in ER tmw! excitinggggg. i hope she is nice and not too threatening.
America's next Top Model just finished and i have to say that Wendy, the last girl out of 12/from New Orleans is unbelievably ugly. her face literally looks like someone beat her in the face with hammers.
in other TV news, i have finally dl'ed the final/second season of Dead Like Me. i really like this show, it sucks that it was cancelled. the second season is so much better than the first! this show is about 18-year-old apathetic/depressed Georgia Lass who dies when a toiletseat from an MIR space station falls from the sky and kills her. when she dies she becomes a Grim-reaper, and has to go around to catch the souls of people (both adults and children) who are destined to die (naturally, tragically, accidently, suicide, etc). the first season is about her dealing with her own young death, regretting her life, missing her family and being a reaper. She is with a group of 4 reapers who collect people's souls. One is witty and smart (he died in the 1920's and the second season is about him trying to find someone from his life). another reaper is a cop with an additude, one is a confused alcoholic/drug addict, and lastly is a beautiful reaper who is a woman scorned. half of the show is about the reapers and their job. The other half is about Georgia's family, like her sister (10 year old, loner, weird) who is trying to cope with her sister's death, and her parents who get a divorce b/c of an affair. each one of the 3 members in her family are dealing in their own way and trying to find their identity after Georgia's death. doesn't it sound interesting?

Date: Mar 4, 2006
Time: 11:25 pm
it's MARCH already??
i had a really great day today.
i woke up feeling refreshed and rested, despite only sleeping about 6-7 hrs. i was contemplating going to this ontario nursing career fair at Ryerson b/c 1. i didn't know where it was, 2. i know what area and hospital i want to work in 3. i wasn't sure if it would be useful + 4. i was feeling lazy. i got over reason #4, put on some pants, and called my dear friend linh for some directions. being the wonderful person she is, she came with me and everything to a career fair that is not at all related to her career. after picking up some general and semi-useful info we went to the RU library, only to go to the UT library. heh. after a while of transcribing i went to a SAC meeting which ended in 45 mins (the shortest meeting ever), not with the best results though as all student fees will be raised by almost 40% next year for all UT undergrad students. which sucks, but thank goodness i'll be a new grad by then, haha@everyone else. we went to a nice Mexican restaurant called Rancho Relaxo and had a yummy dinner. after that, i met up with Tommy, and FINALLY, the cherry on my awesome day was seeing my best friend Linda who i haven't even spoken too in like forever/weeks. she's all grown up now, with a place, ring, job, man and dog of her own. whenever we all get together, it's just a reminder about how old we all are...soon we will be married and having kids. despite all of us moving forward in our lives, i honestly still really feel like i'm 18 inside.
anywho i love my friends and i was happy that i got to see 3 of them today. :)
oh and now i'm going out to dessert with David, another friends i rarely get to see.
oh rite, and i got into the ER at st mikes! whoo hoo for me!

Date: feb 24, 2006
Time: 2:23 am
reading week joys.
let me count the ways:

5. sleeping at 4 am

4. waking up at 4pm

3. finally getting to watch oprah; check it Brokeback Mountain on Oprah

2. watching Daily show and the Colbert Report; check it out: The Daily Show

1. JOE'S UT MED INTERVIEW! wheeeeee. i know you can do it. i wish u all the luck in the world.

ps: here are some other Youtube Links that i love (let them load, they are worth it):

The Daily Show covers Prince Charles' Gay Sex Scandal

Jordis Unga (week 4, INxS show) sings The Man who Sold the World

Thank you for not smoking Trailer

Date: feb 21, 2006
Time: 2:03 am
new layout to kick off reading week.
i went to the dentist today to find out that my widom teeth are growing in diagonally to push my teeth forward, so i will have to 1. visit an orthodontist 2. get oral surgery to remove all 4 teeth. cost= $2000. insurance coverage = $0. life is grand
i saw such a funny group name on Facebook: I Don't Recall Us Being Friends In Real Life, Why are We Friends On Facebook? (uoft Chap). hahaha. that's hilarious b/c it's so true.
i handed my resume in today to my faculty. the fight for consolidation places in the GTA begins today. all Rn students in toronto are duking it out for the coveted placements (ICUs and ERs). i don't know what will be looked at, but i sure hope it's my GPA.
things to do this week (in no specific order): call DMV, maybe looking into getting my G2, reading my 400 pgs of articles for research, email my PI, get will and grace dvd, transcribe, stick to special K diet, eat si mi lo, buy a new stethoscope

Date: feb 13, 2006
Time: 9:08 pm
i want a fruit salad tree.
The Fruit Salad Tree is the coolest thing i've ever seen.
But you can't get them shipped out of Australia. FUCK. Like I seriously want one. Someone needs to create these trees over here, pronto.
I saw Brokeback Mountain this past week with Linda, and Oh My Gosh - such a good movie! the character development, the plot...i was totally caught off gaurd. the inner tormoil and conflict of both characters dealing with their denial and never being able to abandon societal expectations. the actors were so good too, after i got over my giddyness and got serious about the movie, their protrayal of the characters were haunting...they did a good job in conveying a sense of regret about roads not taken - not because the desire wasn't there, but because it simply wasn't possible. oh sighs and cries about BBM. 3.75-4/5 stars.
Speaking of BBM, yestarday I read a very funny article on Black Table, about Straight Signals that men give to other men. I thought it was brilliant, the funniest thing I had read in a long time.

Date: feb 4, 2006
Time: 7:00 pm
i have a project due on monday. i'm in a group of 5 girls. 80/20 work distribution in full effect.
A team of students had four members called Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody. There was an important job to be done. Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody’s job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn’t do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.

I HATE GROUP WORK.
80/20 rule: in a group, 20% of the group will do 80% of the work. while 80% of the group does nothing.
why am i always doing everyone's work. how are people able to not feel guilty with passing their work onto other people? i really don't like working in groups.

Date: feb 4, 2006
Time: 7:00 pm
i don't give a beep keep looking at my beep b/c it don't mean a thing when you're looking at my beep...
this is the catchiest song at the moment. watch the video here Beep by PCD feat Will.i.am. Nicole Scherzinger, the singer (the only girl that sings despite PCD being a 6 member girl group) is so skinny. she's my new idol - move over Nicole Richie!! Surprisingly enough her name is Nicole as well, and she's 1/2 Philipino, 1/4 russian and 1/4 Hawaiain. those are all generally very skinny ethnicities. She probabaly does all of the vocals on the album, so i expect the album to resemble a Scherzinger solo release. the other memebrs of the group seem like just background dancers, not even singers, like what is the point of having them around? I wonder how they feel being out-staged and out sung in every concert, show and interview.
One of my favourite new pastimes is to brag/complain about how old I feel, being a fourth-year student in her final term of school and all. Don't worry, the majority of my comments are totally tongue-in-cheek, or at least done while only in the company of other almost-grads. I learned very quickly that complaining about age does not bode well with anyone older than yourself. Haha.
Today's "I'm so old!" rant: I have become completly overwhelmed by the number of (younger) students using laptops to take notes.
I went to a sociology class last week to take notes for a friend who was unable to attend class. i don't know what the course code is, so it could be un upper year class, but by the maturity of the students sitting around me, i would assume 2nd year. anyways, when I was in first year it was rare to even have a laptop. Everyone in my residence had huge desktops- mine had a loud fan. To even own a flat screen monitor was like "oh-la-la". And in class we all took notes by hand... (and we walked uphill both ways to get there). Ha.
I just don't understand the motivation to take lecture notes by computer. First, you have to carry your laptop around all day. Then while you wait for it to turn on, at the begining of every class, you hope that the start-up song is not going to suddenly blast at full volume. When your battery starts to die you're forced to either endure the "beeep BEEEEP" noises or shuffle over to the nearest outlet.
At the same time, how are you suppose to include diagrams in typed notes? How to you quickly change the color of your text? or underline to highlight a concept? You can't doodle in the margins, nor can you connect ideas with stars, arrows, and swirly-lines. Without pen and paper it's hard to draw diagrams like graphs or like body parts (in anatomy). The computer is straight forward and stern, and not the least bit creative which i think you sometimes have to be to make all the links in a lecture.
But I guess the real attraction of in-class computing is wireless internet. So many students spend class on MSN, while looking at blogs and facebook. Oh well, i guess it benefits those of us who still use the stilo and papier - Bell curve baby!

Date: Jan 31, 2006
Time: 8:00 pm
DINNER... diet shmiet

so my rational for this dinner: all day i had 1 banana, 3 yogurts and water. so worth it.

Date: Jan 28, 2005
Time:9:56 pm
HAPPY LUNAR NEW YEAR!I am positively addicted to this site!
You can make South Park versions of yourself and your friends... If you only knew how many I've made up until now... you'd be appalled!
*** DISCLAIMER***... you will become addicted. you will give up friends and parties to make just one more South Park version of your every mood...
You were WARNED!!

as a a future healthcare pro-fess-ion-al, i'm going to start fulfilling my duties as a health promotor...right now. so here are some commonly asked questions that you should ask, but most of us don't b/c we are embarrassed or whatever. MDs and RNs see way more stuff and have done a lot more grosser stuff than you asking about something like flatulence. i've added my comments below.

Q #1. This is really embarrassing, but I suffer from constipation and gas a lot. Is that a sign of something serious or should I just try to live with it?
A. The body is designed to work correctly; any malfunction signals a problem worth investigating.
In the greatest number of cases, patients find complete relief with a modification of eating habits (include more fiber into your meals! most of us only eat half the amount we are supposed to get 25-30 grams/day). Nonetheless, constipation and gas can signify digestive conditions such as ulcers, lactose intolerance and acid reflux. The concurrent presence of the two could imply an obstruction in the lower GI tract, which is sometimes caused by diseases of the colon. Or you could be pregnant. Oops.
Over-the-counter (Metamucil or Senokot)and home remedies (drinking 2 glasses of salt water) can bring relief—active charcoal tablets, or antacids (tums) for gas; plenty of fiber and water for constipation—but prolonged self-medication can mask real problems or even create new ones. A gastroenterologist can help you treat the cause rather than the symptoms. And if you’re over 50, the doctor will want to rule out colon cancer.
Make an appointment with a gastrointestinal specialist. Bring with you a log of your diet and the symptoms that arose in the previous two weeks. The impact of digestive complications on lifestyle can be substantial. There’s no reason to “just live with it.”

Q #2. I don’t enjoy sex very much because I often experience discomfort. Is there anything a doctor can do for this?
A. Physical and emotional factors alike can contribute to painful intercourse, or dyspareunia. Certainly there are gynecological conditions that manifest as sexual discomfort, and most of them can be resolved with a physician’s guidance. It’s important to be evaluated.
Common conditions represented by superficial pain include yeast infections, dryness and vulvodynia (pain in the vulva). Vaginismus, a spasmodic tightening of the vaginal muscles, can have roots in a medical malady or be a psychological reaction to sex.
If your pain is physically deeper, it could signal anything from ovarian cysts to endometriosis to a pelvic inflammatory disease. But don’t get spooked by the possibilities. Talk to a physician about your symptoms.

Q #3. Can stress cause body odor?
A. Indirectly, stress can contribute to BO. But don’t blame it all on your boss, your bills or even your overactive sweat glands.
The body uses different sweat glands for stress than for physical exertion. Anxiety stimulates the glands in the armpits, in the groin and on the scalp, palms and feet. Unlike the salty sweat that covers our chest and back when we need to cool down, stress sweat is fatty—which makes it an especially fine meal for bacteria.
Perspiration is itself odorless. But when bacteria on skin and clothes begins breaking down fatty sweat, that stinks.
The solution? Minimize the bacteria on your body by showering regularly and wearing clean clothes. Use deodorant, which not only masks odor but makes the skin acidic and therefore less inhabitable to bacteria. It’s not complicated.

Q #4. My boyfriend and I have been sexually active for about two months. I really enjoy sex in the missionary position, but every time we have tried the female superior position I start to experience pain. Could you please tell me why?
A: Maybe you are not lubricating enough. Perhaps when you use the female superior position you are going too fast and you don't wait for enough foreplay. But in any case, I have to tell you that whenever I hear the word "pain" I have to insist that you go to see a gynecologist, because maybe the reason for the pain is something physical. There could be something that you only feel when you are in the female superior position and only through a physical exam can this something be discovered. So before you do anything else, go and see your gynecologist.

Q #5. I was reading a passage about oral sex in a women's medical book, and it warned men not to blow into the vagina during cunnilingus, as it would cause embolism and possibly death. I would think that there would be an inherent danger of embolism during cunnilingus, because of the heavy breathing. Am I wrong?
A: Yes, there is a slight chance (I mean like seeing a cow fly through the air, as in the movie Twister) that an embolism (a gas bubble in the bloodstream, which can be deadly) could happen if a guy were to blow extremely hard into your vagina. However, it would probably take a hefty, determined, hard, ceaseless blow into that "sealed" opening to create such an impact. Imagine blowing hard into a balloon with a tiny opening, with your mouth straining. That's the kind of blowing that is required to even tease out the possibility of such an occurrence. Heavy breathing is just not that kind of action.
Most oral sex on women (cunnilingus) includes gentle stroking with the tongue, licking and sucking, but not intense blowing. Some men and women report blowing gently into the woman's vulva region as a way to create a pleasant sensation. That's about the only way that sending air onto or into your most private parts usually occurs. So, let go of your worries about being blown away!

Date: Jan 27, 2006
Time:6:55 pm
i've been feeling a bit "blah" today. don't know why, it' possibly due to the fact that i haven't even stepped out of my room the entire day. mmm eating yogurt in bed.

Date: Jan 4, 2006
Time:4:55 pm
i'm a little late but ... HAPPY NEW YEAR!
this year will be a little different for me. i strongly believe that this year will totally be the "tipping point" year. everything will change. everything will change b/c i'm graduating from U of T. no more a student but now a...healthcare professional. this year will be the beginning of my real world life. it's the culmination of what we have worked for in the past 4 years, either you are something or nothing: find a job? not find a job? more school right away? or take time off? move away? stay at home? who am i? what am i? what do i have? big decisions will be made this year, mostly referring to that part of your identity that is the answer to "what will i be when i grow up?".
i see this year just snowballing, and as the ball gets bigger it rolls down the hill faster and faster. i think this final semester of my BscN will be the quickiest semester but also probabaly the hardest. i feel like i have a lot to figure out, but in comparison to others my age in other programs, i'm pretty set. i got a a pretty safe job for the rest of my life that allows me to travel the world but i still feel completely unsettled in who i am. i have a lot more that i have to do before i will be content in my life, and this year will just be the first step in that journey. i'm unsure of my ability to take on life as well as i hope i can...if that makes an sense at all.
i was telling my homies on NYE that in the beginning of my frist year i got an iron-on patch that says "Class of 2006". i couldn't help but laugh b/c 2006 seemed so far away, but here i am.

i have no resolutions considering that i am still the owner of that 10 lbs that i resolved to lose Jan 1 2002. this was also the year that i wanted to be able to do 25 regular pushups w/o stopping.
hahaha. yea right.
needless to say that didn't work out. who keeps these anyways? it's like people believe that making a change will be easier simply because they willed it to happen as the clock struck midnight on NYE. seriously, if you couldn't keep up a work out regimne on April 28, what makes you think you can do it on Jan. 1? so rather than doom myself to defeat with promises about health and appearence. this year my 3 simple LIFE guidelines for this upcomming real life year are:
1. don't GAIN any weight. if i lose any weight, A++++ for me.
2. work out as much as i can or whenever i have an opportunity to. i won't kill myself about not hitting the gym when i'm on my feet and walk all fricking day.
3. be a good person and appreciate those around me (fam and homies). the biggest rule: the golden rule.
that's it. i have full confidence that i will be able to do this throughout the year, and it's a nice feeling to enter this already daunting year with confidence as opposed to feeling like u have the cards stacked against your success.

picture time!

New Year celebration; the next morning dim sum on Spadina

Systems with the girls

Date: Dec 25, 2005
Time:11:55 pm
Happy Holidays! The generic term for those who don't celebrate Christmas. Stores/employers are getting criticized for saying Merry Christmas...did anyone else notice that less and less stores are playing Christmas (or shall I say "holiday") music too? i don't really like carols that much but they certainly add something to this time of year. as we get older it feels less and less like Christmas each year. Malls putting together the same shabby, no effort decorations. Bah humbug. It's supposed to be the happiest time of the year. The anticipation of family, the season of giving. That's the best part about Christmas, going out and buying gifts for friends and family and then wrapping them. i love love love wrapping presents. nothing beats a beautifully wrapped gift. wrapping paper is so much better than a gift bag.
Christmas just isn't the same. It's not the same as the excitement i felt when i was younger. when we were younger Christmas was a time of celebration, as we age it just becomes time off work/school. there is something really sad about that.
anyways, i did soooo much shopping this season. Latest addictions - GAP and MAC everything. Continuing addiction - T5S sweaters and hoodies. Bought a total of probably over $500. It adds up so quickly and still I want so much more, esp of MAC stuff.
speaking of addictions...i love AOL sessions! some computer can't get it (like Joe's computer just redirects u to www.aol.ca) but if u log onto www.AOL.com you should be be able to click Songs > Songs A-Z and a whole list of artists come up and u can watch them sing in a studio. it's so awesome, it allows u to see which artists are talented and which suck ass. some artists that were garbage live were: Ashanti, TaTu, Boomkat, JC Chasez, Toni BRaxton, Jennifer love hewitt. artists that are really good live are: Christina Aguilera (superwoman. i'm an even bigger fan), Keshia Cole, Mary J Blige, michael buble (oh wow, amazing), BSB, O-town (remember o-town?! they are pretty decent), JoJo (she has pipes for a 14 year old or whatever), Frankie J (How to deal is a good song, so personal), Missy Elliot and fabolous. if u get a chance to watch them, i definately recommend it.
enjoy your loved ones everyone,
Char*

p align=justified>Date: Dec 25, 2005
Time:10:45 pm
Happy holidays everybody!
hopefully everyone is enjoying their Christmas and has loved their gifts. the best part about christmas is spending time with the ones you love & waiting for boxing day. oh yea, and the food. :)

Date: Dec 20, 2005
Time:10:40 pm
X-MAS break!!! Fa-la-la-la-la la la la la...
christmas is less than 2 weeks away! i have to say that i haven't really bought any of my xmas gifts yet...i still have 5 3ppl to get things for.
this year i get almost an entire month off. my last exam went super (i hope) and during my exam the prof requested that i email her a copy of my "beautifully written" essay. haha @ the high quality crap i can produce. think year's break may be the longest christmas break i've had ever, but i know that it will fly by in an instant. i have lots i have to get done, and tons that i want to do. in my usual list making fashion, here is my list: things to do during my break:

work for research team 1 (TS's)

work for research team 2 (coding)

~~watch popular season 1~~

watch popular season 2

~~watch Dead like me season 1~~

watch Dead like me season 2

read Tipping point by Malcolm Gladwell

read Blink by Malcolm Gladwell

~~read Lovely bones by Alice Sebold~~

read Freakonomics: A Rogue Economist Explores the Hidden Side of Everything by Steven D. Levitt, Stephen J. Dubner

read The Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom

~~read A Million Little Pieces (Oprah's Book Club)~~ by James Frey

~~read The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd~~

read Black and Blue: A Novel (Oprah's Book Club by Anna Quindlen

read up on my physiology and health assessments

a lot of books eh? oh how i miss reading for pleasure! my idea of a perfect afternoon is sitting in bed, with blankets, drinking my Chai tea and being compeltely engaged a good book (or replace the book with a good DVD). i love to lounge. i wish i had more time to do so...but this break i will make sure that i have time. hopefully i can read a bunch of those aforementioned books. if you read the descriptions they sounds pretty interesting don't they?

Date: Dec 3, 2005
Time:6:40 pm
my exam on monday:
i can't believe that it's December already! this semester ends in 3 days, xmas in 22 days (need to go xmas shopping), and new years in 28 days! where did the time go? this semester has definately flown by. i'm anticipating the day that i can rent 3 movies from jumbo video and watch them in a row without a care in the world.
my exam on monday 9am....essay format...dumb dumb.

eargasms for the moment:

beyonce - check up on it

TLC with Oh so Krispie (ugh) - i bet

Mariah carey feat JD - making it last all night

Mariah carey feat twista - so lonely

Mariah carey - don't forget about us
this weeks south park with Jambu the talking whale. ahahahah

Date: Nov 30, 2005
Time:6:40 pm
my lucky day, part 2:
1. a week ago i had to write a self-evaluation about my clinical and class performance throughout this semester. i did all the work that i was assigned and didn't skip out, so obviously i aimed high and gave myself 94%. we had peer evaluators too, but i don't know what they gave me. this eval is worth 15% of my final mark, so i aimed high b/c my instructor would be more likely to lower my mark than increase it. i checked my WebCT bulletin board (virtual board for my faculty) this morning, and my instructor informs me that she thinks my evaluation is great, very accurate and thus is granting me my 94%. THEN she says that my peer evaluator actually gave me 96%, so it averages out to 95%. kick ass!
2. i got back an essay that i wrote about the difficulties of providing compassionate care in a hospital setting today around noon, and my instructor gave me an A! she also wants a copy of it! thank you Zach Braff of Scrubs.
3. a few weeks ago the SAC secretary emailed me the attendance record of the directors from my SAC meetings. Initially i had missed 3 meetings b/c i was in the hospital for clinical (i had proxied my vote but apparently that wasn't good enough) so i'm supposed to be booted out of the Board of Directors. i didn't think this was fair since there was no way i could come and i shouldn't be penalized for missing meetings since i was doing mandetory work hours for my program (legitamate excuse). the pharmacy rep was also in the same boat (he missed meetings b/c of class) so we made an amendment and i was notified today that it passed! as of now, my attendance record = perfect.
4. i want to do my consolidation in the ER at St. Michael's hospital but to get a placement in a high intensity place like ER, ICU, neonatal ICU, prenatal ICU,, etc, u have to letter from the Dean of my faculty. i've never spoken to her before, and before i could approach her I had to have references ready, from the faculty, who supported my ability to handle stressful and advanced nursing skills. i had a meeting with her last week and i just got a confirmation e-mail that she is supporting my request to go to the ER! yay!!!!!!
5. finally, my aunt and uncle Sean just announced that they are 3 months pregnant. ohh Audrey, their first daughter, is the cutest! i'm excited to see my future cousin!

i hope everyone is doing just as well. i DO have an exam worth 50% on Monday to study for, but i put in 7 hours today at the library so 3 or 4 more days like today should prep me enough. i'm really happy that all my work is finally paying off. this feeling of everything going right is so rewarding. it reminds me what i'm made of and what i'm capable of. this semester has been an awesome learning experience. next week is my last week of school!
good luck to everyone on everything!!

Date: Nov 28, 2005
Time:10:05 pm

WORST episode of Prison Break ever
oh geez, a pipe. the whole season is ruined by a new section of pipe. so dumb. what an undramatic and disappointing ending that is supposed to last us viewers for 6 months (May 2006). why couldn't they get stuck in a sewer pipe, have the water vat fill up, have the guards heading towards the empty storage shed. anything. the pipe would've been OK had it been discovered in the middle of the show, but not as the big cliffhanger. like seriously, Fish is a guy who's a genius, even smart enough to hide a pill under his skin (very unrealistic) but to have it all foiled by such a boring, basic thing like a pipe was dumb.
if only i could stop watching, i would SO boycott the show. damn Wentworth for being to dreamy.

Date: Nov 26, 2005
Time:8:51 pm
what today would have been. i don't miss you.
i'm better off without you, but i still hope you are doing well.

Date: Nov 21, 2005
Time:10:55 pm

today must be my lucky day
today was great. for some odd reason, everything just worked out in my favor. things were so fantastic today that i'm just expecting something terrible to happen to balence it all out.
it all started when i walked into class, and my teacher was handing back our essays. i was extremely nervous b/c this essay was worth 50% and it was dealing with pretty complex and abstract concepts. my heart was racing expecting a horrid mark...so as i slowly flipped through my essay, all i saw were checkmarks and positive comments. i began feeling a bit relieved, so i turned to the last page and it turned out that i got an A! whoooo! yay for me. in our afternoon class we were being assigned by lottery our placements for the next semester, i desparetly wanted to go to St. Mike's family clinic. this was the best place for me b/c i eventually would like to own a clinic but the girl sitting beside me got it. when she found out that it was my frist choice, she decided to opt to go for a different placement that would be closer to her - so she gave me her placement! this was awesome b/c i'll be there for 13 weeks so it'll be a great learning experience! as i was leaving the building and walking towards University and college to catch the streetcar, i was going through my wallet and pockets tryign to scrounge up enough change b/c i didn't have a token. i only had about $1.50 when a man comes up to me and offers me a token for my change. "i can't take that, it's ok, i'll be fine" i told him but he insisted and practically shoved the token into my hand as the streetcar was comming. i ended up giving him all my change, about $1.70 and getting on the streetcar, and I got one of the last seats on the car. what a great day. everything just worked out. life would be awesome if it were like this everyday...i wish days like this would happen more often. to top it all off, new Prison break episode tonight!
mmmm wentworth miller.

speaking of Wentworth miller:

Wentworth says, "I'm kind of a dork. I don't have much game. I'm not particularly comfortable in bars or clubs. I much prefer being home playing Scrabble, having dinner with a couple friends, going to see a movie, or losing a whole weekend to Season 14 of Law and Order or The Simpsons."

sighs. oh Wentworth. did u know that he is part African-American, Jamaican, English, German, French, Dutch, Syrian, and Lebanese. He went to Princeton, and graduated with a degree in English Lit. He traveled the world with the school's a capella group. Wentworth loves to read. He says, "A great book provides escapism for me. The artistry and the creativity in a story are better than any drugs."

is there anything hotter than a smart guy? sighs. so dreamy.

Date: Nov 17, 2005
Time:7:50 pm

Time goes by....so slowly...
i think doing this to do list keeps me from checking celebrity blogs every 10 minutes. sighs, this habit is unexplainable, i hate tabloids and i hate tabloid shows. ohh the addiction. i have nothing significant to report really.

Phan and I at the OSF, Nov 10th. the food could've been better, but after the glasses of red wine, i didn't even notice. haha.

she'll be back at christmas! weeeeee

to do:

~~outline essay~~

~~write essay due on monday~~

~~ts tape + email~~(done @ 2am)

~~homelessness and healthcare readings~~ (done @ 7pm)

ts tape #2 + email

~~SAC Annual general meeting on friday~~

i'm going shopping in the states on a UHN bus shopping trip! hopefully i'll be able to snag some awesome deals and get started on my x-mas shopping. i'll be leaving on saturday @ 5 am, normally i would loath waking up early, but shopping is always an exception.

on rotation: love is a battlefield - Pat Benatar; you give love a bad name - Bon Jovi; living on a prayer - bon jovi; hung up (only first half) - madonna; burn it up - r kelly

Date: Nov 10, 2005
Time:1:00 pm
Phan is back in town!!! weeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Abs, Phan and i will be having dinner tonight, somewhere dt. it'll be great to see that girl again. i miss her so much throughout the school year.
i spoke to my old roommate from first year, and she's studying at U of Calgary and doing well. apparently she is dating this guy who is going to rep Canada in the next winter Olympics, and he's taking her along to whereever it is. i think she said Austria or Austrailia, in any event, that's pretty damn cool! she wants to do a phD in clinical psych, which was always her best marks anyways so good for her.
this weekend is like super crazy: i need to go to physio, write an essay, transcribe at least this 1 tape, meet my supervisor, do group work, club? w. phan, and somewhere in there i have to see my babe.
highlight of the week: when all 5 of my patients said i was wonderful for taking such good care of them. they all wished i was working there today too. :) it's a great feeling to make a difference in the lives of ppl
oh check out this site of photoshoped pictures, i think it's funny how these girls who are known for their large asses, don't even really have them: http://glennferon.com.nyud.net:8090/portfolio1/index.html

Date: Oct 29, 2005
Time:6:20 pm
wow...i came across this video and i don't knwo how to feel about this. after laughing for 10 minutes, i'ts disturbing to think that these guys got FAMOUS (CNN, signed to advertise Motorola China, etc) from this video: click on the videos of these 2 chinese boys

Happy Halloween EVERYONE!!

Date: Oct 29, 2005
Time:6:20 pm
let's see how long it takes to get everything done! hopefully doing this will serve as a motivator, instead of a distractor...
to do:

~~read chap 2 of textbook!~~ (done @ 4:00am 20/10/05)

~~read chap 3 of textbook!~~ (done 22/10/05) a short excerpt:
"Impersonal time continues its course, but personal time is arrested. of course this fixation does not merge into memory insofar as the latter spreads out in front of us, like a picture, a former experience, whereas this past which remains out true present does not leave us but remains constantly hidden behind our gaze instead of being displayed before it." what the hell? imagine 65 pages of this wishy-washy artsy crap...30 pgs left to read...

~~read chap 4 of textbook!~~ (done 22/10/05)

~~read questions + answer them for presentation on monday~~ (done on 29/10/05 @ 6:40pm)

~~complete handouts for presentation on monday~~ (done on 30/10/05 @ 02:39am)

~~complete ppt for presenation on monday~~ (done on 29/10/05 @ 9:00pm

~~outline essay due Nov 7~~ (done 29/10/05)

think of essay theme for essay due Nov 14

transcribe one tape(damnit, i'm still working on these one)

Date: Oct 28, 2005
Time:5:00 pm
well, since my last post, i've managed to take on another research job, totaling 3 (research) jobs. the phD lady that i worked with over the summer is world reknown so i think she recommended me around to her phD friends, and now i'm getting a lot of offers to be on different research teams. it's an awesome feeling just sit on your ass and have work come to you.
i've been drinking tons of cammomile tea recently. so soothing, and neutral tasting. yum.

george clooney was just on Oprah. hahaha he's hilarious and oh so handsome. i always liked him, but now i just like him that much more.
oh, George. u so funny!
anyways, it's the friday before halloween. i've been planning to go out with the girls for the longest time, but i just don't have the energy. so i'm staying home and going to joe's so that i can get my work done.

oh i have this funny story. So about 20-25 of my youngest brother's friends come over to my house every day after school. i have to ask my brother sth, so i step into his room with all his friends. i notice that there is a Ms. Field's bag that has some chocolate fudge in it. one of the 13 year old boys offers me some awesome fudge:
I ask: did you try any of this fudge?? is it good?
he replies: yea I did, it was really good!!
I say: oh yea? do you like packed fudge??
he says: yeah!! I love packed fudge!!
I ask: have you ever packed fudge??
he replies: nooo, but I wish I could.

at that time, my other brother and his gf were comming up the stairs and catches wind of the conversation, and they start laughing hysterically. so the 3 of us, are standing outside of this room, full of 13 year olds who don't knwo what we are laughing at. my brother is like "oh my god Gee-Gee [sister in chinese], you're 21!", in between laughs. to which i say "so worth it!! SO WORTH IT!!"

hahaha. I love a child's innocence.

Date: Oct 20, 2005
Time:11:40 pm
so i have a bunch of stuff to read for school AND my new research project that i'm on, has signed me for 3 years. hahaha. that's marvelous since i thought i was only going to be working with them until this Dec, so i was already going to ask them if i could stay a year for stuff. lucky me!
i have an essay worth 50% of my mark and i have to watch this movie called "my life without me" with Sarah Polley and write an essay on it while applying advanced nursing coping theories. this book that i have to read is insane - i find myself reading the same paragraph over and over again to make sure that i understand what's being said. i would compare it to like a humanities verbal passage on the MCAT that discusses "what it means to be a person", for 50 pages. it's ridiclous! besides that i have to prep for other general schoolwork and try to get enough sleep.
this entire week i was exhausted. my mind is in a constant state of fatigue. sighs. i hope it goes away soon.

Date: Oct 15, 2005
Time:3:50 pm
damn this paper due on monday!!!
dyingggg...i hate this.

in brighter news: guess who got another research job! oh yea.

Date: Oct 10, 2005
Time:12:50 pm
happy thanksgiving everyone!!!

check out these jokes!
joke 1:
A new father goes into the delivery room to see his newborn baby boy. The doctor pulls him aside and says " I have the most amazing news. Your boy can fly". The doctor sees the doubt in the fathers eyes so he offers a demonstration. He picks up the little boy, holds him high in the air and then lets go. The baby falls to the floor with a loud thump.
"You son of a bitch" says the new father, ready to kill the doctor. " Wait, something must be wrong. He flew this morning. Let me try again". He flings the boy across the room and he slams against the wall and slides down to the floor.
"Oh my god, I am going to kill you" says the father as he is running towards the baffeled doctor. "No no wait, I know what I did wrong. I promise it will work this time". He opens the window and tosses the kid out. The kid of course falls 7 stories and leaves a mess on the sidewalk below. By this time the father is choking the doctor. With his last breath the doctor says " I was just messing with you. Your son was born dead."

joke 2: A young couple with a box of condoms proceeded to burn some rubber.
When they were finished, she discovered that there were only six condoms remaining in the box of 12, so she asked him, "What happened to the other five condoms?"
His nervous reply was, "Er, I masturbated with them."
Later, she then approached her male confidant friend, told him the story, and then asked him, "Have you ever done that?"
"Yeah, once or twice," he told her.
"You mean you’ve actually masturbated with a condom before?" she asked.
"Oh," he said, "I thought you were asking if I’d ever lied to my girlfriend."

joke 3: An amish woman and her daughter were riding in an old buggy one cold blustery day. The daughter said to her mother, "My hands are freezing cold." the mother replied "Put them between your legs. Your body heat will warm them up." The daughter did and her hands warmed up.
The next day the daughter was riding with her boyfriend who said, "My hands are freezing cold." The girl replied, "Put them between my legs. The warmth of my body will warm them up." He did and warmed his hands. The following day the boyfriend was again in the buggy with the daughter. He said, "My nose is cold." The girl replied "Put it between my legs. The warmth of my body will warm it up." He did and warmed his nose. The next day the boyfriend was again driving with the daughter and he said, "My penis is frozen solid."
The following day the daughter was driving in the buggy with her mother, and she says to her mother, "Have you ever heard of a penis?" Slightly concerned the mother said, "Why, yes. Why do you ask?" The daughter replies, "They make one hell of a mess when they defrost, don't they?"

joke 4: A man boards an airplane and takes his seat. As he settles in, he glances up and sees a very beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realizes she is heading straight towards his seat, and a wave of nervous anticipation washes over him. Lo and behold, she takes the seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurts out, “Business trip or vacation?”
The woman turns, smiles and says, “Business. I’m going to the annual Nymphomaniac Convention in Chicago.”
The man swallows hard and is instantly crazed with excitement. Struggling to maintain his outward cool, he calmly asks, “What’s your business role at this convention?”
“Lecturer,” she says. “I use my experience to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.”
“Really,” he says. “What myths are those?”
“Well,” she explains, “one popular myth is that African American men are the most well endowed when, in fact, it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that French men are the best lovers, when actually it’s men of Jewish decent.”
Suddenly, the women becomes very embarrassed and blushes. “I'm sorry,” she says, “I shouldn’t be discussing this with you, I don't even know your name!”
“Tonto” the man says as he extends his hand. “Tonto Goldstein.”

hahaha. enjoy your turkey everyone!

Date: Oct 9, 2005
Time:11:30 pm
happy 21st b-day joe! 1 heart u.

Date: sept 30, 2005
Time:8:20 pm
wow long time, no post. i've been very busy this year. it's been hectic. i don't have time to formulate full sentances b/c i should be working on my essay (due in 2 days). since the last time i posted:
- i have a clinical placement at st michaels hospital on the internal medicine floor. the staff is nice and it's great there. really good hospital (vs sunnybrook =hellhole) Peter, my instructor is very supportive and just such a fantastic teacher (no he is not gay, he is married with 3 kids). i'm having a great time there which is good since i'll be there until dec. oh yea, and i work 12 hour shifts there, 7-7. so my week has some looooong days.
- my classes are full of useless theory. i dislike them greatly. i have this one prof who's head is so in the clouds, it's ridiculous. she just rants on and on about nothing, and then ever once in a while talks about humanities or social sciences. in one class she showed us this movie, that no one understood, about this nurse that eventually rapes his patient who is in a coma...and it showed random clips, similar to a Family Guy style, and one of the clips was this shrunken guy who climbs into a sleeping woman's vagina. ??? yea...she's a horrible teacher.
- i'm the team captain of the CIBC run for the cure team at the faculty. we have a 12 member team and collectively has raised $1000 so far, and that's only in online donations. it'll be exciting to see how much we have raised when we add in the cash-donations. the run if this sunday, so tune in on TV - maybe you'll see me!
- i went clubbing a lot. well maybe 4 times, since i last posted, which is A LOT for me. i'm no clubber, but each time it's been pretty fun. i always meet a lot of interesting ppl.
- i went to an afterlife Profac event yestarday. which means that only ppl at the U of t professional faculties like medicine, law, dentistry, nursing, pharmacy, rotman's MBA prog and occupational therapy. i might be missing some but whatever, u get the point. the club was PACKED with ppl, but it was a lot of fun, i met tons of ppl. it was an exciting feeling to go to a club and know that u are surrounded by ppl who will all make sth of themselves one day. everyone was really nice too. i personally think that it was a single person's dream come true.
- i was part of the Toronto Aids walk for life. Go team U of T! (i'm in the white hat, behind the fob)

- i met up with my dear old friend, Abby. this picture was at after-dinner-drink-conversation-time with her camera phone:

- i got a Nemo fish from the Disney store!

- spent time with him. his b-day is next week so i've been planning his gift and birthday:

that's it for now. i hope everyone had a great 2 weeks without me. :)
feeling: confused about this essay
ear-gasm: presidential - Youngbloodz; footprints - ToK; temperature - Sean Paul; soul on fire rmx - KMC f Beenie man

Date: sept 10, 2005
Time:1:20 pm
nursing frosh is over! it went smoothly and everything was very well organized, the froshes had a good time and everyone was very responsive to the event.
to celebrate the end of summer, end of frosh, and kathy's b-day the girls went to Lot 332, last night. there was about 10 of us and it was so much fun!! except the drinks were expensive!
i got a bit too drunk though... not passing out throwing up drunk....but almost. great time though.
last weekend of freedom.

Date: sept 8, 2005
Time:7:05 pm
this nursing frosh is just dragging on. i mean, the froshees are cool and very nice, i'm caomplaining about the girls on the committee. like honestly, frickin women. i honestly like that i was a guy, surrounded by women who just discuss the tiniest details to ridiculous extents. for example, puttign drinks in the coolers. i say, just put the damn drinks in the damn coolers with the ice, but no. Apparently there are 10 different ways of doing this task: should we have a cooler just full of joice and one full of water or mix them? should they be arranged according to brand and colors?, should the ice go on the bottom? maybe layered between the drinks? etc etc. what did they end up doing at the end? what i suggested in the beginning. just imagine the headache i got when they were talking about how to arrange the tables for the food. ai ya. to make matters worst, there is one particular girl who is very bossy and ominating and she acts as if no one has ever disageed with her before. fricking women.
what was i thinking when i agreed to be on this committee? probabaly that it would fill out a line on my apps/resume...oh well, everything is a learning experience, right?
one more day.

Date: sept 4, 2005
Time:5:05 pm
i met up with linda today on the danforth for some lunch. we had bento boxes on a patio which was great since the weather was so nice. it feels like forever since i've gotten to hang out with my bestest, which sucks. busy lives i suppose, but she will always be a constant in my life.
so after lunch, i was walking to the organice juice bar for a smoothie when i see a new store called "The Salivation Corporation" on the danforth. i've never seen this store before but guess what it sells!? HOT SAUCE!! they have an entire wall that is dedicated to hotsauces and another wall of like infused oils, and vinegers and stuff like that. so i'm in this store and talking to the owner, and he tells me that the store has only been open for about 6 weeks. we start talking about the hotsauces he has to offer. i asked him about the spiciest products he had, he didn't believe a "little girl" like me could take it. Ha! The store slogan is "tasting is beliving" so he has a fridge full of every hotsauce he has for ppl to try. he pours me a little cup and gives me a little spoon to try this hot sauce called "Satan's blood". it was ok, nothing special. i finished the little cup thing. i tried a few others called "Acid rain" and the bottle was in a little wooden coffin, "Burn in Hell Osama!!" which had a little bullet ketchain attached to it, which opens up to second as a little tiny spoon, and some others. then he's shows me the "hottest hot sauce in Canada". it's called "Uncle Big's Killer hot sauce", the bottle is pretty small, like cough syrup bottle size, and i tasted this one by sticking a toothpick in the bottle (no cup and spoon this time "due to chance of death" he said) and warns me with "don't let that touch your lips, it'll burn for the whole day". my mouth was kind of numb at this point and this just added to the great spicy effect that i love, so i ended up buying the bottle. the funny thing is that i had to sign a waiver declaring that:

1)i'm using the product at my own risk
2) should only be eaten as food additives in very small quantities
3) can cause serious pain and injury if applied to the respiratory tract, skin, eyes, and other bodily organs
and 4) i won't sue the company if i somehow injure myself.

lol. i couldn't believe it was an actual serious document but the guy said that it wasn't a joke. i hope he wasn't just trying to scare me.
To give you an idea of hot my Killer Sauce is, Tabasco Hot Sauce is rated at between 3,000-4,000 Scoville Units which on Uncle Big's Official Chili Heat Scale would rate about a 4.5 (out of 20). A Scoville unit tells us that 3000-4000 parts sugar water are needed to dilute one part Jalapeno extract to the last point that hotness can be tasted. Add any more sugar water and according to this subjective test, you would not be able to taste any hotness.

my killer hot sauce is at 600,000 Scoville units and 19 on Uncle Big's Official Chili Heat Scale.
i haven't tried it yet but i'm am excited to have it for dinner tonight!

on a different note, i found something last night that effected me much more than i thought it could have. isn't it funny an one item can make a person relive moments of extreme sadness...things that we thought were behind us, but really they have always been there.

this was a long entry.

Date: sept 2, 2005
Time:1:45 pm
it was paradise. the weather, the resort, the beach, the pool, service, the food. ohhhhh soo good.

more later.

clikc here to hear Kanye's Speech on a live aired Hurricane Relief concert/special that featured actors and musicians. this was broadcasted on NBC, MSNBC, CNBC and Pax. Kanye West had a lot to say on the subject of Hurricane relief and on GWB himself ... and since the show was aired live he was able to say many of the things that were on his mind. he's obviously a bit nervous in the clip, sicne he is totally disregarding whatever was on the prompter, so i'm sure his message was not as eloquately delivered as he would have liked, but still, kanye is the fucking man. this killed me.

Date: AUG 26, 2005
Time:12:05 am
i'm all packed and ready to go. i have everything, or at least i think i do. i'm going to the airport tmw at 9am for my 1pm flight. hopefully everything will be marvelous and it won't rain too much in DR.
i'll miss you all. see you in a week!

all the best,
Charlene

Date: AUG 21, 2005
Time:5:50 Pm

With one hand the past moves us forward, and with the other it holds us back.

Date: AUG 15, 2005
Time:3:50 Pm

i booked my hotel: Marien Coral by Hilton!!! whoo!!! ! oh i can't wait! this 4.5 star hotel is #2 on the Popularity index on www.Tripadvisor.com. originally i was going to another hotel, but i waited to long to book my seats and they sold out. everything worked out for the best though b/c this trip 1)cost less 2)at a better hotel 3)came with a better room! what a great deal. waiting does pay off. a stay here for 2 ppl, all inclusive is about $3400, so i lucked out. you can go to tripadvisor to see the reviews and other candid pictures.
Paradise.

i leave on Aug 26th at 1:30pm. until then i have to work at hyper speed to get all my research work done, buy everything i need, finish up all my committe and charity work and get my money exchanged.
a small price to pay for a vacation to this beautiful resort.
feeling: excited/euphoric
addicted to: Zoglo's vegetarian food (my new discovery, in your local Dominon's frozen food section)

Date: AUG 9, 2005
Time:3:30 Pm


Where the Jobs Are
The Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS) has identified a number 
of exciting professions expected to experience above-average growth. 
Most of these positions fall within the top 25 percent of earnings 
for workers overall, and most require a bachelor's degree or 
higher.
Expected new positions through 2012
Registered nurses: 623,000
Postsecondary teachers: 603,000
Management: 376,000
Nursing aides: 343,000
Elementary school teachers: 223,000
Accountants: 205,000
Computer systems analysts: 184,000
Secondary school teachers: 180,000
Computer software engineers: 179,000
Information systems managers: 103,000

Source: U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics

Date: July 19, 2005
Time:12:49 am
paris. oh how i would love to go to paris.

i don't know what's wrong with me. lately, i've been feeling pretty alone and isolated, i guess...i don't even know why. this feeling combined with the sluggish-fat feeling of not hitting the gym to work-out in 10 days, makes me feel like an indifferent fat blob of a human being. make that 11 days.
i wish i could travel and see things. historical places, nature, hikes, to sit on a dock somewhere and just look out over the water. i want to go and do stuff, anything, even if it's around ontario for a saturday or a B and B overnight on a weekend. i don't care...i'm feeling so trapped. trapped in my own skin...in my life, in my routine...

there is so much more that i want to see.

i feel like i'm wasting my time, day in and day out. sighs. many nights i've asked myself "did you live today like it was you last?" and consistantly the answer has been "no". i'm doing something wrong, but i'm completely lost on how to go about fixing this...problem.
i have this picture in my head of being in a peaceful place, with the sun setting and my feet dipped in a lake. i think i would be so overcome with this emotion, this inherent disappointment with myself, that i would just break down and cry.

i'm tired of this.

Date: July 11, 2005
Time:5:17 pm
wow it was hot these past few days, but i would gladly take this heat over freezing -20 dreary winter weather. as much as summer can get a tad annoying (without A/C, smoggy dt air, overheated hart house gym), i must admit that i am a sun worshipper. i love wearing flip flops, sunglasses, and pretty skirts. i love walking around downtown or markham eating gelato. i love having drinks on patios with friends or sitting in parks reading. i love love the fact that i can go out in the evening without a jacket. blissful.
work is going really well. i have a lot of reading to do, mostly about research methods and stuff to help prepare me for my article next semester. i get my own little office in a highly air-conditioned building. most of all, i really love the area that i'm working in. after more exposure to ped. onco. i can say that i do enjoy going to work. i look forward to it. this will definatly be the area that my future will be based on, no matter what field i'm in. it makes neuro just seem so dull...don't get me wrong i adored my neuro but it doesn't interest me like oncology. working so closely with the psychiatrist at CAMH while being on the mood disorder/schizophrenia floor for 7 weeks, and watching ECT on numerous patients wasn't as captivating as i always thought it would be. of course psych is still engrossing, but you have to definately be a certain type of person to work at CAMH.
all is well in this life of mine. oh, i went to the Bay yestarday with Joe and i found these really cute skirts on sale. best deal ever!

Date: June 27 2005
Time:5:17 pm
i always steal Post-it notes.
they are my favorite office supply to steal.
i love all the colors that are not the typical post-it yellow.
even though i have hundreds of brand new Post-it's at home, all in their clear wrap, that i have bought over the years. i have piles of them but whenever i use post-it's i always cut them in halfs or quarters.

Date: June 24 2005
Time:12:10 pm

Ben Kerr used his music to spread his message when he would pick a fight with city hall. The busker often ran for mayor of Toronto.
Kerr with his trusty guitar was a fixture on the same corner of Yonge and Bloor Sts. for nearly 20 years.
He died Friday in the east-end attic he called home at age 75.
At his second home, passersby filled his collection box and shopkeepers kept their doors wide open to hear his plaintive country twang. (Toronto Star)
i remember seeing Ben every time i would go downtown. he was always so sweet. toronto will miss him.

so i got my frist paycheck this week: $1600, and i've only been at work 3 days. hahaha. today i'm working from home. this job is the best. but in a few weeks things will really pick up and i'll be working 12 hour days so really it balences out.
today is supposed to be 34 degrees!! whoooooo. i looove hot weather.
craving craving more gelato from Salferino (i think that's what it is called) on front st. mmm. belgian chocolate is so smooth. the pistachio is bursting with nutty flavor. the blackberry wasn't as good as i thought it would be, kinda sour but that's how blackberries taste. very very good. my next 3 flavors to try: hazelnut, raspberry, passionfruit. yumm.

Date: June 20 2005
Time:1:00 pm
happy birthday to me...happy birthday to me...
stupid angelfire... i had written the most brilliant entry ever (honestly) and when i clicked "submit" what do i see? stupid RUNTIME ERROR. AHHH what a waste of my time.
sigh i'm too lazy to type it all out again so hopefully this crappy entry will suffice.
so now i'm 21 and while i'm legal everywhere, i feel so fricken old... another year older, the big 2-1.
i can't say that i'm completely blissfully happy, but i am content, i guess. it's weird how i can feel conflicted: one moment you are happy, excited and the next it's just disappointment. and yea i'm grateful for everything that i have, but when i look at the fact that i could've have been so much more has you been smarter, worked harder, more available, more focused, etc etc. i'm not doing badly in any shape or form, in fact this school year is one of my best academically...spiritually though, it's been a trainwreck...
of course, once class let out i ran into the arms of my amazing boyfriend and whined and discussed my ethical dilemmas on the phone with my awesome friends.
thanks to everyone that came out last nite for my bday at ESM (sorry again for crap food and service - but who knew?? seriously, that place really went downhill) and/or to Distrikt on friday... esp those who do not like that scene at all, that's true friendship for ya. also thanks to all the nursing peeps that chilled with me on thurs nite just to study and conversate (haha) instead cuz i was feeling blah... also a big muah for all the wonderful and thoughtful gifts i got... love them all! i got everything that i wanted!!! *jumps* i'm fully equipted to work out in any occasion. 6 more pounds...
so i went clubbing friday for the first time in about 1 year ... that's my longest state of abstinence yet. Distrikt was pretty good, the crowd was pretty good and the music wasn't bad. the drinks were cheap so i can't complain about those either. it was actually very refreshing to go to a club were the crowd does not bother me: this was very mixed (thus lacking snobby azn girls and guys who think they are the shit), guys were not completely annoying and juvenile (sexual harrassment...jeez). i like to go cuz i love to dance and listen to music, but it's so irritating to be hit upon by random guys and watch horribly skanked out hoes vie against e/o and make out for attention from ugly strangers... ah well. i'm glad to say that these people were not at the club...or maybe they were and iw as too hammered to notice. either way, a good experience (from what i rememeber). Thanks again for all the love and support. Richard you are next. *cheers*
pictures up soon, once howie sends them to me.

Date: June 15 2005
Time:4:00 Am
Salary Disclosure
As an organization which receives in excess of $1-million annually from the Government of Ontario, each year Sunnybrook & Women’s provides a list of employees to the government who earn in excess of $100,000. This compensation information is released in accordance with the Public Sector Salary Disclosure Act (1996). The following is the 2004 Salary Disclosure for the Sunnybrook and Women’s College Health Sciences organization. (i didn't know that nurses made this much in canada...)
OUSSOVA INNA Staff Nurse $136,194.29
JACOBS ANDREA Staff Nurse $133,461.21
COX BARBARA Staff Nurse $116,026.32
CHIN ELSIE Staff Nurse $113,118.05
MAULGUE ZAIDA Staff Nurse $112,397.21
JACOB ALICE Staff Nurse $101,856.24
SUKUMARAN JAYA Staff Nurse $101,276.61

and the list goes on...but here are some salaries for comparison...
TOMLINSON ROBERT Senior Scientist $101,094.95
HALPERN STEPHEN Doctor, Anaesthesia $131,939.57
YAFFE MARTIN Scientist $122,465.76
CHAN PAK CHEUNG Biochemist $113,402.48
IAZZETTA JOHN Pharmacist $103,090.39
STEVEN LEO President & C.E.O $453,275.55

Date: June 13 2005
Time: 9:03 pm
i met my P.I. today and it was amazing! i love my project, i think it's going ot be a lot of fun. i'm working with a phD student and children with cancer. fun fun stuff. i even get my office at sick kids (well a research building owned by sick kids)!! fun fun fun.
speaking of cancer, and since summer is here, i found some articles that may be beneficial to everyone:

Easy Ways to Eat Better
Alas, 80 percent of us don't consume anything close to five servings of fruits and veggies. How can you up your intake?
- Favour dishes incorporating as many plant-based ingredients as possible — such as stir-fries, soups, salads and rice salads.
- Snack on fruit.
- Keep crunchy raw vegetables on hand, such as carrot sticks, and green/red pepper strips.
- Add leafy greens such as spinach leaves and watercress to sandwiches.
- Consider nutrient-rich squashes as side dishes.
- Top cereal,yogurts and salads with fruit, nuts, sesame seeds, bran or pumpkin seeds.
- Empty a can of beans or tomatoes into your favourite casserole.

Anti-Cancer Eating Plan in a Nutshell
According to the Canadian Cancer Society, you may reduce your risk of cancer by:

- Choosing most of your food from plant sources.
- Increasing your fibre intake to 25 to 35 grams per day. Whole grains, fruit and vegetables are particularly rich sources of fibre.
- Reducing your fat intake to 30 percent of daily calories and choosing monounsaturated fats as often as possible. Fat — particularly saturated fat — increases the risk of colon and prostate cancers.
- Eating less meat. Over-consumption of red meat (beef, pork, lamb) may raise the risk of colon and prostate cancer.
- Cutting back on salt-cured, pickled and smoked foods, which are implicated in cancer of the stomach and esophagus.
- Limiting alcohol to one or two drinks a day, at most. Overindulgence in alcohol has been associated with an increased risk of cancer of the liver, breast, throat, esophagus and larynx. Maintaining a healthy weight. Obesity is a risk factor for several cancers; losing weight reduces that risk.
song: olivia feat maino - so into you

Date: June 11 2005
Time: 11:45 am
birthday wishlist:

1. DKNY Be Delicious Eau de Parfum only

2. NIke R4 Shox (pink and white)
3. GC to footlocker

4. GC to Le Chataeu (loving skirts this summer)
5. nickel metal hydride batteries

clubbing on June 17th, location TBA. it'll be a lot of fun, we haven't gone clubbing in like...what is it now? a year? a year and a half?
dinner at East Side Marios on June 19th. please clear your scheduals for that night, i'd love to see you all there. look for the email!

Date: June 8 2005
Time: 8:15 pm
my first final of this semester was today: i filled 6 booklets in 3 hours. 30 mcQ, 6 short answers (filled 3 books) and 2 long answer (3 books). my hand was cramping up during the exam and it still hurts. but at least it is over. thank goodness.
my eargasm songs right now:
old school love - devine brown (? not sure)
diamonds are forever REMIX- kanye west f jay-Z
dreams - game
so seductive - tony yayo f 50
fix me - coldplay
home - micheal buble
tiara marie - make her feel good
busta rhymes + eminem - hurt you
olivia feat maino - so into you
....more to come

Date: June 5 2005
Time: 7:50 pm
Randomness...

numbers:

3 more exams

0 more assignments

11 more days of school

2 more days of clinical

21st birthday comming up

3rd year of university will be completed

GPA? yet to be deterimined but it's looking good

14 days until work starts

planning a 5 days all inclusive vacation somewhere, anywhere

You're only young, once.
Sometimes I feel like an old lady. Literally. I feel like I've lived enough to say that I've experienced a lot, already. But ofcourse we all know that I haven't. I'm barely 22 and haven't accomplished all my goals... I haven't found my passion... and I can't say that I'm completely satisfied with what I've done thus far.
Again, why do I feel so old? I hear myself speak and I can't believe some of the things that comes outta my mouth. I sound like an old hag. I've lost track of my age...but when I look at myself 3 years ago, I was naive, lost and uncertain. Funny what time does to an individual. Everthing seems to work out mentally, hopefully it will all come together in the end if i make the right decisions along the way...
I guess I'm still soul-searching...

song: like that - memphis bleek

Date: May 29 2005
Time: 11:44 am

+la la la...19 days until my LAST EXAM and this bloody school year is over. ohh i'm so sick of this, i just want to start work already. well not really, but i'd like to do something else for a while. endlessly writing papers about inane things is really draining. at the moment i have one more paper to write, due in 3 days, about the "identity" of my patient. i'm supposed to use the 15-60 articles they gave us to write this garbage. of course, the identity of a person is very important to any healthcare professional (hey, that's me!) but these articles that i have to read...ohmygod absolute bs i won't bore you with an excerp but they talk about "the essence, and Zest of life and developement, the relationship with the Other, Himself and meaningfullness...ect." trust me when i say it's brain damagingly bad.
+ my computer is one screwed up piece of machinary. currently i have BOTH Windows 2000 and Windows XP installed. when i start up my computer it gives me a choice of what to run - this minimizes my 20 gb C drive into 890mb. ALSO i have different program on each one, for example if i need to use webCT i can only use that on XP. if i need to use photoshop, i need to use 2000. etc etc. i don't have a BIOS to uninstall one of them and i also can't remove any programs from the 2000 for some odd reason. these problems, combined with the lagging that is produced when i want to switch programs is irritating as hell. it's such a deterent from using my computer.
+last thurs we went karaoke at this place at Spadina, and it was a lot of fun. it seemed like we havign done it in a long time. the place was nice, but the staff was kinda rude and the selection was a bit limited. it seemed cheap but there were a lot of hidden fees so it came out to much more then what we expected. everyone paid way more then they ordered in drinks. but really though, we spent like 5 hours there at like $30 in a 8 person room, so really that is a bit cheaper than XO. i don't think we'll be going back there though...the selection just isn't what we are used to. of course the clear highlight of the night was Rich and Linh's hilarious rendition of "DOn't go breaking my heart". i laughed so hard, i thought i was going to
+i went to this puma sale with linh and so many good deals. i spent like $120...but i SAVED way more. like a bag that is $60 i got for $20, so really it's $40 saved. lol. oh, the logic of a shopper. i went back the next day and there were slim pickings, so i'm glad that i got to go when i had the chance to. thinking about how my stuff is so much better than those shopping the next day really brightened up my day. hahaha. ohh, the logic of a shopper.
+ it's almost june!...my birthday will be comming soon!...i can't decide if i want to go clubbing. i feel so old. i don't know if it will be as fun as it used to be. but it's been soo long since the last time...july of last summer. i'm such a boring person. wow this was the longest entry ever.

+ linda is the greatest person of all time and she's MY best friend. hahaha. suckers.

Date: May 22 2005
Time: 11:09 pm

i'm spending my long weekend doing homework. this paper is sucking the life right our of my body. i'm emotionally exhausted. midway into a sentance i'll forget what i'm writing about because i've aleady said it 4 times. it's basically the same concept over and over again, for 10 pages. i'm so sick of this. i want to close my computer and walk away...if only it wasn't worth 45% of my mark.

guilty pleasures: procrastination. playing puzzle express on msn games. playing spider solitare on windows. watching music videos on mtv.com. eating a large bag of chips. Indulging in ice cream at midnight. Sleeping in almost everyday. Bringing outside food into the theatres. Staying in my pj's for the entire day. Never paying my phone bill on time. Humming very loudly in the shower. Conditioning my hair twice. Playing the same song over and over until I get sick of it. looking at old pictures of us from the beginning. trying on different combinations of clothes. McDonald's breakfast with 2 hashbrowns and a tea. staring off into space when you have a major assignment due.
I'M GOING NUTS!

feeling: drained
can't get enough of: kanye west - diamonds (not playing here - no time to upload)
wants: sleeeeeepp

Date: May 8 2005
Time: 1:30 am
it's been a while. i've been so busy with school and other things. i'v started going to the gym at the harthouse, it's pretty fun. i feel a lot better about life since i've started. the sunshine is brighter and i feel more energized. i'm going tmw if anyone wants to join me.
my third and final rotation (mental health @ CAMH) is...slow paced. it's unbearably boring. my placement is good, but what i do all day (sit and talk to patients), sucks. it wouldn't be so bad if this girl wasn't there. what a fucking bitch man. sheesh. this girl thinks the whole god damn world revolves around her life. and she never stops talking. i swear i'm going to box her in the face just to shut her up. she just talks and talk about herself and makes fun of our instructor. honestly, grow up. she's like 27 and still impersonating the teacher?? sad. she's so pretentious, i can't stand to be around this girl. it wouldn't be so bad if i didn't have to see her all summer (she got a fellowship job too). *shudder* what a bitch man.
there are so many readings for this semester. i woudl say it's about twice as much as the other rotations and i'm soo behind. my orientation to my summer project is in 10 days and i'd like to get caught up so i can focus on my project. ok sleeping time. bye :)

Date: APRIL 23 2005
Time: 4:10 pm

my break is almost over!! *whines* i don't want to go back to school...it sucks that everyone has their finals now or are already done third year! i'm only in school with the suckers in summer school, jj. damn trimestered program. i KNOW it won't be that bad when i go back since i'll have: a research course, mental health rotation at CAMH, and...something else that escapes my mind right now. anywho, i'm sure it'll be easy breezy. i want to skip a lot of my mental health classes but i feel guilty since i paid tuition to be in those classes. just 7 more weeks of school and then the summer, and my job doing clinical trails begins! in the words of eric cartman "awwweesommeee". haha.
i have a feeling that this summer will be fabulous; wearing flip-flops, going to work, walking downtown in the sunshine to meet my buds or baby for a beer and 2 for 1 fajitas. well, maybe not the flip flops.
break: 2 days left

Date: APRIL 20 2005
Time: 11:00 pm

happy 1 year anniversery baby!!
ever since you came into my life, i can't stop thinking about you. i like literally everything about you. i love you. thank you for being you. you are my world.
i love you. i love you. i love you!! i'll see you tmw. Sushi buffet!!!

Date: APRIL 18 2005
Time: 11:43 am

first day of break! God, this is fantastic. i have absolutely no schoolwork to do. this is great. what relief. what relaxation. *drinks pina colada*
i do have some errands to do today and tmw:
- get book from u of t library
- pick up my marked assignment from the faculty
- buy ttc tickets
- get a healthcard
- pay off my phone bill
- call back 2 hospitals
luckily, it's sunny and gorgeous outside so i'm looking forward to walking around downtown today.
i got the mariah carey album and it's pretty good. her voice is so strong, i mean as much as ppl can hate the person she is, i don't think anyone can deny her talent. in saying that, i like 10/12 songs (all except "joyride" and "fly like a bird") and its been on rotation for the past 2 days. "The Emancipation of MiMi" if definately her best disc in years, hopefully it will restore her to pre-Glitter glory.
i was thinking that i might catch up on my pleasure reading. i haven't read a book that wasn't school related in soo long. i don't even know where to start.
the new gilmore girls is supposed to be aired this wed on global, episode 18, this will be the ep after loreli tells her mom to shut up and logan is finally where rory wants him. hehe...logan is friggin hot. ohhh i can't wait!
feeling: cheerful :)
song: mariah - circles

Date: APRIL 14 2005
Time: 1:03 am

i had my final exam today. i feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shouldars. i have2 more clinical days at sunnybrook and then it's over!!! *jumps* FINALLY i get a break....before i have to go back to school. yes yes, for those who did not know, my year ends in june. damn.

20 years ago I...
1. was BORN.
2. lived with my mom and dad in an apartment on the top of a corner store.
3. was carefree.

10 years ago I...
1. was in grade 5 at pape school...i think
2. was in a talent show doing a hip hop dance.
3. would watch saved by the bell on a daily basis.

5 years ago I...
1. would walk home afterschool and have great talks with my friends along the way.
2. hated biology with mrs. dagones.
3. went on a vacation with my mom & my brothers.

3 years ago I...
1. was in high school.
2. confused about my future.
3. was an active participant in my surroundings...

1 year ago I...
1. met my 100% and fell in love.
2. was lost and defeated.
3. had to commute 1.5 hrs to school.

So far this year I...
1. have learned to make the most of every situation.
2. have slacked off throughout this year.
3. am more driven than ever...(recent developement)

Yesterday I...
1. studied in the stacks at Robarts from 2-midnight, i almost got locked in on the 13th floor! scary
2. went to class.
3. had pizza for the first time in ages.

Today I...
1. wrote my last exam of this rotation.
2. went to sunnybrook to checkout my patient.
3. got to sleep from 5pm-10pm!

Tomorrow I will...
1. go to clinical. (yes, i will hate it)
2. go to the post office and then come home to sleep
3. drink pina coladas :)

In the next year, I...
1. hope to be happy, no matter what the situation may be. (not that I'm not happy now, I just hope to be happy in the future as well) 2. plan on being with my 100%.
3. will graduate with a BSc from U of T.

feeling: good

Date: APRIL 10 2005
Time: 12:03 pm

check out the pics from Dim sum on march 25 2005HERE.
i have a 20 page nursing care plan due tmw, damn this thing is frickin long. i'm sick of looking at it. it is on a patient we have cared for, and we have to analyze 12 diff aspects of their health/life and then come up with diagnosis and interventions to help them. the faculty wants so much detail that may be impossible to gather, for example a patient who has aphasia (partial or total loss of the ability to speak or comprehend spoken or written language, resulting from damage to the brain caused by injury or disease) from an acute myocardial infarction - how am I supposed to gather their "family support systems at home" if they are 89 years old, live alone and have no children? SO b/c of this dilemma, most of us students just make up info to fulfil the reqs of the assignment. i hate this assignment. i think that there is just too much detail (fictional, at that) that does not pertain to the medical diagnosis of the patient (e.g.: socioecon. status, daily routine, cultural background). sigh...i just want to get this over with.

last weeks' surgeries were amazing amazing AMAZING!!!
1. liver resectioning: 59 y.o male with colon cancer that had metastasized into the right side of his liver. the surgery was to remove the gallbladder and infected portion of the liver. so the two residents cut him open using a cauterizing knife and then freed the liver from the membranes that connect it to the rest of the organs. then they started to shut off all the blood supply leading to the right side of the liver, and the surgeon explained to us how it changes color (from purple to grey) to indicate where to cut. he removes the gallbladder and half the liver, puts them in a bowl and sends it to pathology. i got to go to pathology to see what they do, and it was pretty cool. they slice the liver, a la white bread, and flip through the slices to detect any tumors near the margins. if it's too close to the surface, the surgeon has to go in and remove more liver. luckily, the margins were clear and so the guy was stitched up and stapled. pretty cool experience, but it was hard to see some parts b/c it was a surgery in the abdo cavity and there were 3 surgoens standing above the patient.
2. full back skin graft: 35 y.o male with multiple sclerosis and the intelligence of a 5 y.o, was in his wheelchair cooking, when he reached across the stove and his shirt caught on fire. he ended up with third degree burns all around his torso (entire back adn chest) and right butt cheek. when you get a sever burn your skin tightens up and the rest of your body will swell which may inhibit circulation. so to relieve the pressure they make slices in your skin along the burned body part- excoriation cuts. they did that to this patient b/c the skin would not allow his lungs to expand. his chest and back looked like the surface of a scored roasted pig or something. i've neevr seen anything like that.
when i walked in, they were removing skin form this man's leg and scrotum with this cheese grater (seen in pic), they plump up the areas of skin removal with normal saline and epinephrine to stop bleeding and to increase turger of the skin. after that they STAPLED like 150 staples ONTO his leg and scrotum to hold on these dressing pads that soak up drainage. then they started to use these huge vegetable peeler like things to skin the burnt and dead skin/tissue off his back, until it was all white glistening fascia. after that they started to put the skin they removed from the leg and scrotum on the back. once they finished they used like 300 staples to hold on more drainage pads. for more specific details on the procedure click here.
it was the coolest thing ever, and the surgeon was really nice about explaining and showing me everything, and letting me stand beside him while he skinned away. very very cool experience. best experience thus far at sunnybrook.
countdown: 3 more days until the end of this awful experience
song: Ciara ft. Luda - Oh

Date: APRIL 6 2005
Time: 9:53 pm
i had my pharmacology/pathophysiology final today. it was ok, i think i could manage a good mark :D. the entire exam was case studies and liek questions regarding the signs, symptoms, treatments, education, diagnostic test of the case (eg: a 42 year only F with a history of smoking and primary hypertension is admitted into the ER with a massive GI bleed...). it was cool, very much testing your application to real life situations.
my medical microbiology exam on monday was awesome, i kicked ass on that. i will be surprised with a mark less than 96% on that exam. it was 100 Q's, one point each, and worth 45% of my final mark.
i'm relaxing right now b/c i don't have anything due until monday, and i have another exam on wed (Adult med surg) so i'll start that tmw or sth. i just want to relax and watch gilmore girls.
tmw i get to stand in on a surgery!! i actually get to be in the OR and it's going to be exciting. i can stay for the whole day i if want to, like 8pm or sth. ohhhh i'm looking forward to it! it'll be like "the surgeons" on life network, but in front of me. a girl from my clinical group stood in on a surgery and she fainted. hehe. poor girl.
on friday i get to visit the burn unit at sunnybrook, so like seeing skin grafts, 3rd degree burns, ect.
linda's J-school semi was tonight, i hope everything went ok...i'm sure she was the belle of the ball.
feeling: energetic/good

Date: APRIL 3 2005
Time: 12:53 pm
NO TIME.
- rememebr to set your clocks forward by 1 hour!
- i have 2 exams this week, then a major assignment and another exam next week.
-i have to meet up with a prof to talk about a shit mark i got on a paper. i hope she will change it...this will ruin my streak for sure
- the weather is AWFUL! i hate ittttt.
- joe has his med interview at Queens today. *excited*
- studying like mad for tmw's exam: medical microbiology.
- i am slowly going crazy....

Welcome to the wonderful world of medical microbio: common cold, pharyngitis, otitis media, bacterial sinusitis, laryngitis, acute and chronic bronchitis, hospital acquired pheunomia, community acquired pheunomia; vaccinations, hep A, hep B, rabies, travellers diarreah, antibiotic associated colitis, entamoeba histolytica, gardia lamblia, dengue fever, yellow fever, lassa fever, ebola virus, malaria; sulfonamides, trimethoprim, aminoglycosides, penicillin, beta-lactamases, cephalosporins, macrolides, vancomycin, quinolones, antimicrobial resistance, resistance ramping, antimicrobial testing, super bugs; hep C, HIV, occupational exposure to Hepatitis A,B & C and HIV; vaccination programs, smallpox, polio, tetanus, diptheria, pertussis, components of a vaccine, delivery of a vaccine, antimicrobial resistant organisms in the hospital, hospital acquired infections, MRSA, VRE, c-diff, protection...ect ect
*learn all by tmw

Date: march 25 05
Time: 6:33 pm
today the gang got together for dim sum and a day of hanging out. we went to tommy's new house @ major mac (huge), drove around gawking at all the million dollar homes, had bbt + spicy noodles at destiny, and ended up playing scrabble at howie's house. i lost b/c all of my letters were VOWELS and worth only 1 point. what horrible luck. today was fun - it sucks that we can't hang out and lounge more often. pics up sooooon.

Date: march 23 05
Time: 10:45 pm

i actually started to update at 8:45pm (procrastination) but i got a bit carried away ....so i changed my whole layout. the last one was up since Aug 2004! that's the longest i've ever had a layout up. i used to love making them but i'm running low on creative juices at the moment. this one is simple...i'm not sure long it's going to last tho. i think it's very blog-like.

Write 20 things to different people that you have never told them. They can be 20 different people or a few. Don't say who each one is for.
1. you are my bestest friend in the whole world and i could not have asked for a better person to support me. i wouldn't change one thing about you. i don't know what i would do without u in my life. i love you completly.
2. you've make being in love so easy. i still get butterflies looking at you. you do everything i want without me even asking for it. i'm madly in love with you. i honestly see myself spending my whole life with you.
3. i consider you one of my best friends. i can always rely on you. you have a heart of gold. i'm glad that you've found a mate who makes you happy. oh yea, and i like him too. i think he is really funny.
4. you are so smart and i admire that. it comes so easily for you and i don't know how you do it. bastard. haha. jj. i know that you will be happy in whatever you do.
5. you can single-handedly save mankind if you wanted to.
6. we've known each other forever. i like spending time with you cuz you are a good listener and hilarious. you could do so much more if you would just learn how to focus.
7. i miss you sometimes, i wish we could hang out like we used to. i'm sometimes jealous of all the freedom you have, but you will always be one of my favorite ppl. i feel like i can tell you anythign w.o being judged. you rock and will always be one of my girls.
8. i think you are one of the most genuine ppl alive.
9. you are so bluntly honest. i like that a lot about you. i find it super easy to talk to you...you may not understand exactly where i'm comming from, but you can always interject logic. i think we aren't as good friends as we used to be wh/ saddens me.
10. i like you as a person. i think we are have a cool relationship even though we hardly talk. i'm glad to see you when i do tho. i wish we talked more.
11. you've taught me the most about life and myself. you've pushed me and abused me. you broke my heart but i still want the best for you. i will always want the best for you. i can't help to think that you will always be a disappointment. i think you could do so much more with your life then what you are doing.
12. i don't have much to say to you when i see you...i feel conversation is very forced.
13. i dislike you greatly. i don't need to know you to know that i don't like you. and i know you don't like me either. i'm not going to assume anything about you...all i need to know is that you annoy THE FUCK OUT OF ME. just go away.
14. you seem like a nice person, and sometimes i do want to talk to you, but i feel like there is tension between us for absolutely no reason. since we have never talked before, it's hard to just start out of the blue. i don't think i will ever have enough boldness to say anything to you.
15. i think we just pretend to be friends. but really i think you are fucked up and look for pity. i think you regret all the energy you've wasted and are jealous that i'm heading somewhere.
16. you are a really nice person but i wish you weren't such a whore. i can talk to you about anything, but we've grown apart over the years. you can do so much better.
17. i wish we could spend more time together like we used to. i wish we could all spend more time together.
18. i think you are the most pathetic person i have ever met. whoever is lonely enough to date you will be fustrated with your clinginess.
19. i'm glad i know you. you are a really good friend and person. you know exactly how i think and we havent' even know each other for that long. i hope you get everything you want from life.
20. you have influenced me deeply. you have impacted me in a way that i will never forget. you deserve to be where you are and i respect and admire you.