The Gift Of Quietness

     I was born and raised a country girl. An only child until I was entering third grade, I entertained myself with a lively imagination. One of my early memories was the muddy joy of making dams in a brook that ran past our house. I loved the way the water moved, how it seemed to twinkle, and the sound it made. After I reached school age, I spent time running and climbing, and wrote my first poems in the top of an old plum tree. My early joys were in quiet places.

     However, adulthood found me caught in the city. I never acclimated to that very well. There were no quiet places to go. When I had six children, I was able to buy a house at last. But we found ourselves in a neighborhood of irritable elderly people who kept to themselves, and deeply resented children hollering to them. Especially children who made no sense, like my son Chad. So I paid for a six foot wooden fence to protect them from my noisy, nosy children, and continue to live in peace. And I pretended I was back in the country.

* Woe unto them that join house to house, that lay field to field, till there be no place, that they may be placed alone in the midst of the earth! Isaiah 5:8

     If we have no place to go, to be alone, when can God commune privately with us?

     When I was first married at seventeen, we lived in a small fifth story apartment downtown. I did not even have one corner to myself. This was hard for me, coming from a small and very quiet family; especially when I was upset. But even in the midst of my husband's everlasting visiting friends, I discovered that I could find a place, by opening a window, and gazing out at the sky. That was my time to talk to my Heavenly Father, and ask for answers to my pleas. Three other places I found to pray were the basement laundry room, the rooftop, and the weed-filled vacant lot between the apartment building and the freeway. In those years, no scary people were lurking in these places.

     Even with a human companion, it is difficult to have a meaningful conversation in the midst of other people. We frequently search out a private place, to talk about important things with a loved one. So it is with our Heavenly Father. How can we ask Him important personal questions, and listen for His reply, with noisy people surrounding us? God uses a still, small voice, to communicate with us, when we are listening. He does not always say 'yes', nor respond right away. But He always answers.

* In quietness and in confidence shall be your strength. Isaiah 30:15b

     When I was raising my children, the place I went to be alone, was the front porch. A large bushy tree grew there, surrounding the rail where a person could sit. Sitting on that wooden rail, I could have peace. My children left me alone when I went out there. They knew that this was the place I went when I felt frustrated, to "get my pieces together," as I put it. They knew I was out there, to get patient, so I wouldn't say something I would regret. They were very good when I was out there. That was the place I went also, to simply pray.

* stand thou still a while, that I may shew thee the word of God. 1 Samuel 9:27b

     For many years, I opened my home to other people who needed refuge. Years ago, my close friend and her children were living with us, helping with cooking and other things while I home schooled. During this time, a home schooling family of ten spent four months with us. I very much enjoyed their company, but we were thirty-five people living together, through the winter. This was the largest group I ever lived with, and we were stuck inside. I had eighteen bedrooms, an enormous kitchen/dining/pantry/day area, two living rooms, and two recreation rooms. But before the end of that winter it felt like a VERY small house.

     We were three large families, and a nineteen year old boy with Down's Syndrome, whom I was keeping for a friend of a friend, for a year, while their family was in crisis. When my second friend arrived, from nearly three thousand miles away, it was great fun, and children's laughter was everywhere, upstairs and down! It WAS lots of fun, home schooling our families in different areas of the same large house, with different curriculums, and different methods; and none of us had any problems with those differences.

     My two friends both had a lively sense of humor, and the three of us did a lot of laughing in the evenings, after our children had all gone to bed. We shared our lives, as three single, adoptive mothers of disabled children, and it was lots of fun. Because we wanted so much to just talk each other's ears off, and not spend our precious time cooking, I hired a catering service that delivered cooked food to daycare centers throughout the city, to deliver our meals. It cost me a lot, but it was a once in a lifetime experience. All of our children got to experience foods they had never tasted before. We ate at three tables, each eight feet long, with benches on each side, and every meal was a fascinating and joyous occasion!

     However, living with two other mothers' vastly different methods of child rearing turned out to be a real trial to me. I was frustrated with their methods, or rather, lack of methods. I wanted very much to remain friends with these two friends. But when their children were out of control, and they ignored them, I could not find a single spot to be alone, to regain my composure when upset inside. I could not even visit a bathroom in peace. At last I found one private place just outside the front fence, behind a laurel hedge. I could sit there undetected, when frustrated. At times, that was the only way I could keep from expressing something I might regret.

* Sit still, my daughter, until thou know how the matter will fall. Ruth 3:18b

* ...ye ought to be quiet, and to do nothing rashly Acts 19:36b

* ... stand still, that I may reason with you 1 Samuel 12:7a

* ... commune with your own heart ... and be still. Psalms 4:4b,d

     Taking time away from a stressful situation can defuse my frustration surprisingly well. It doesn't take much thought, to find a place to be alone for at least a short period of time. Even when you can't leave home, like it was for me, it is still possible. If there is no physical place, a person can arrange to make a space, in one way or another.

     When a person turns to God for some tranquillity for my spirit, He is right there, waiting, every time. The Bible speaks about the value of quietness.

* For kings, and all that are in authority; that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and honesty. For this is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Saviour; 1 Timothy 2:2,3

* ... learn in silence 1 Timothy 2:11b

* ... a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. 1 Peter 3:4b

     With God's grace, I am back living in the country now. I love it here, more than I could say. But always I pray that I will always remember to seek my Heavenly Father in quietness, with an open mind, and a clear spirit. A time when I am able to listen.

© 2004 Rosemary Gwaltney