Hey,
Clearing my head of bullshit is something I have to do on occasion and so that is what I've been up to. A lot of crazy stuff has occured so I'm ready to tell my story.
July 12, 2003 is the day I did the nasty with my best friend Terrill. Why did I have sex with my best friend? I'm such a complete idiot! I guess the mood was right and some words were said, one thing led to another and we were in bed!
This is the second time Terrill and I have had intercourse. The firt time we both decided that it'd be best that we not do it again. At the time we both felt dirty, as if we had just preformed acts of incest. But yet we did "It" again! WHY? WHY? WHY?
This time we don't feel so dirty. I, myself, personally, enjoyed the hell out of it! Don't get me wrong, I am an adult of almost 24 years but I still feel a little embarrassed with my actions even after I have enjoyed them. These feelings led me to my break, my mind clensing moment.
Now that I have had time to think about things, I have come to the rational that maybe it is best Terrill and I don't do "it" anymore. (this being said we'll probably do it agin) I don't think I'm ready to have the burden of sleeping with a friend on my shoulders. Besides, I don't really like to have sex with people outside of a relationship. Terill and I are NOT ready for another one of those. I'll explain our past in another entry...
So anyway, I was telling all of this to my other close male friend, Travis. Travis is my most recent ex-boyfriend ( we just broke it off a few days b4 our year anniversary back in April). As I was telling Trav all of this I felt even more stress, more shit I needed to clear out of my pea-sized brain. I never thought of what it would be like to talk about other guys with my ex-turned friend.
I just blurted it out to Travis one day. " I MADE LOVE WITH TERRILL"! And then I was like, " what the hell am I thinking?" I could tell talking about the sex made Travis feel uncomfortable and so I kind of eased off the subject. I don't know what I'm going to do with my both of my guys.
Now, lets get down to the nitty! This is the big scoop of the week! Check this one out...
Can you believe that after all this talk about sex with Terrill that he would do something stupid to put a strain on our relationship? DUDE! I can't wait to tell you all... scroll down
So Terrill goes to Dallas for a week to chill with some fam. Before he leaves he writes me ( Brittina the Beautiful) the most amazing love letter. It was so cute. It basically summed up our expirience and it left me all warm and fuzzy. I mean he was talking about how good it felt to hold me again and how he wanted us to be together as more than friends. I was feeling like a high school girl with a BIG crush on a hot guy who just decided to HOLLA (like Missy Elliot says). Then that asshole...
So let me tell you what he did next! After all this sweet talk he ends the letter. This is what he tells me! " Yeah well Tina, when you were dating Travis I had sex with this girl named Tanisha. She called me and she's pregnant. It might be mine, but don't worry it's not. She's a hoe". WHAT A COMPLETE ASSHOLE! HE pulled a str8 Maury moment right before he left to go out of town. He wasn't man enough to tell me face to face. So now I can't even cuss him out becuase he's still in Dallas.
But yes, Britttina is back and she is vicious. Check in from time to time to c if I have killed my Bastardized other half!
I love you all
IRREFUTABLE IZZLE
~Brittina*