Mood Today: :| Music Today:Deftones "Hexagram" Date:9/10/03 Some days are just the type of days that you have no feelings. The only feelings I have today is for my girlfriend, I am ready to see her this weekend. I fell asleep in Drafting in 2nd block today. I heard that a white girl and a black guy got caught having sex in the bathroom, kinda gross. I'm not into the whole inter-racial dating or anything. I have something to look forward to, tomorrow is the last day of the week, friday is a free day for me, no school. I was glad that I didn't have to turn my notebook in for Economics, tomorrow is the day to turn it in, I finished it when I got home today. Today is the first day I start this journal, hope someone cares about it. It wouldn't bother me if no one read it. Depression is heavy on me sometimes, but it all washes over when I am with the band I am in, or with my girlfriend. My opnion on relationships is that I hope the current one I am in stays stable. I dont know how much I will break down if I lose someone again. Last time, it almost killed me. The rest of the school day today was pretty boring, all the people stare at me like a staring attraction at a freak show, I like attention sometimes. Mood Today: :\ Music Today:Silverstein "November" Date:9/11/03 Today was one of those days that makes you just wanna be happy, but sad at once. I am glad that I am making it through today, I am now currently at work. Waiting for 5 oclock so I can chill with Josh and watch the skateboard video. I don't really know if Matt will be able to come, but I will just have to wait and see. The prob and stat test was pretty easy for me today, no need to cheat really. All these people thought I was gonna shoot or blow the school up today because today is 9/11, 2 year anniversary is what they guess I think. I am getting tired of everyone moaning and pouting about 9/11, get over it already. That's my take on that. I hope this weekend takes a long time to go by, doubt it will. Hurley scared Travis today, it was pretty funny. My mom and stepdad are still on their trip to the Bahamas, they won't be back til later on tonight, so I can just chill out tonight. Adam is coming down from Raleigh, yeah thats right, Adam from Vela Remnant, hes one of my band friends. As you probably haven't known by now, I am in a godcore band called Enscripted and Adam's band is an indie rock band. Interium reports go out tonight, scared to get that English grade, didn't have time to do my outside reading with having to read all that other crap. I turned my reports in and all what I needed to get for school in today. I am trying to stop swearing, I havent said any bad words since 4th block today, that was by accident. A lot of people who cuss like a WHOLE LOT, shows their stupidity to me. I guess that means that all of my friends are idiots. No, im kidding, they're trying to cut back too. I am still wondering if Josh got his job at Bi-Lo yet, dont know. Seen Brett today, didn't say hey, i was not that motivated to wave at anyone. Well, tomorrow I will record what happens tonight and tomorrow, this is my lead out. Mood Today: :] Music Today:Zao "Five Year Winter" Date:9/12/03 Today was a fun day, except before the night before, I got fussed out because I have a 55 in English, didn't mean to get that, I was planning on bringing it up. I can never make my dad proud, I got a B in drafting, that isn't good enough for him. Sometimes the whole world is f*cked up. But, this morning, Amber took pictures of the band. It was fun. After we took pics and all, we practiced some, then went back to Ambers and watched a skateboard video, pretty grusome. I had to go to my girlfriend's volleyball game, but I didnt have 2 dollars to get in, so that sucked. Then, I get fussed out by her friends later on that night. I am calm, it's hard to piss me off sometimes, if they do, I just give them that "whatever" taunt. Every person has their opinion. They are entitled to that, I just speak the truth. We made the flyers, but we decided not to go to fahyettville tomorrow. I got home that night around 9 and stayed online. Tomorrow, we have practice. Mood Today: :| Music Today:Boxcar Racer "There Is" Date:9/13/03 Just another day in the life of me. As of now, it is 7 o'clock and I am writing this. Today, was basically....PRACTICE...PRACTICE...I guess I am supposed to play the role as b/f and g/f tonight when I go over to her house tonight. Almost her whole family is over there, that really dosen't make me comfortable. I dont know why, but it just seems that way. I look like a little emo kid today, very seldom do I wear my hair down like it is now, don't really like it, but I am too lazy to mess with it. I like emo kids though. Practice was demanding today, but loved it, we practiced from 10:30 to 5:00. I am glad we got that in though. The whole relationship with me and Maggie dosen't feel "real". It's like I feel happy around her, but it feels like our relationship isn't going anywhere. "There Is" by Boxcar Racer is on repeat, such a depressing song. I sometimes think to myself what it would be like in the world without me. Sometimes, I wish that 1 of the 2 open heart surgeories would have killed me, I don't feel loved even though I am. I will have to see how tonight goes, here is the outro of today... Mood Today: ;\ Music Today:Hed Trip Drama "Die For You" Date:9/14/03 I was VERY sleepy today, it is a very boring day, Anthony came by and chilled with me for liike 10 minutes, just not looking forward to school tomorrow, Ill have to see what happens tomorrow. Mood Today: :| Music Today:Taproot "Mine" Date:9/15/03 I feel like a f*cking rhino with this big acne bump on my forehead, I hate it, maybe if I quit messing with it, it'll go down, usually does. I have an idea of what I am gonna get for my birthday, a skateboard, professional, maybe an Element, dunno yet, haven't really decided. If I don't get it, I will probably get a Birdhouse. I tried to be a emo kid today, it was really hard to do. Not speaking is tough. I think I am gonna go off to tech before I go off to college after high school after I graduate. I hate rap/ghetto slang, it's so dumb. Today was an ok today at school, just woke up and just throw some clothes on and went to school. I think the whole relationship with me and Maggie is getting better. I went to watch a movie with her house the night before last, every says hi except her dad, he didn't achknowledge me, maybe that's a good thing.I am glad that I finished what I needed to last night with my Dracula book, I really need to bring my English grade up. Mood Today: :\ Music Today:Dashboard Confessional "Hands Down" Date:9/16/03 Breakfast in first block is so fun, what a way to take up class time.Tomorrow will be the last day for those dumb drawings we are doing in Drafting.English was kinda hectic, I made it through tho, got some grades back that I really didn't want, but oh well I will have to try harder.Prob and Stat was also boring today, got to see my friends today though, isn't that what everyone goes to school for anyway?Seems that way to me, but no one cares.Didn't recieve a note on my windshield wiper today after I got out of school.It is 11ish now and I am typing this up, what a way to be on the ball.I promised myself that I will go to sleep early when I was sleeping those 30 minutes in Economics.We took a chapter test in there today, scared to get it back.I talked to my girlfriend a little today, that made my day better.Getting the pa system from the church after work and stuff was hectic and time consuming after I got word that a crackhead tried to break into the fellowship hall.You can't have anything in his world today without people wanting a five finger discount. Mood Today: :] Music Today:N.E.R.D. "Rock Star" Date:9/17/03 I had fun today, I actually stayed awake, I think that's a miracle today at school.Im still addicted to the new dashboard video, dont know why, the song is so cool.As of now, at 10:50 I seem to be having amnesia and forgeting what all happened today.After I got out of school, I went by the first citizens bank and made my girlfriend wash my car.Naw, it was like a lot of peopl up there.I stuck out like a green hat in an orange field.I am starting to actually like the new limp bizkit song, it's getting pretty cool everytime I hear it.I got my senior pictures back, gave away a couple at school, and gave my girlfriend a couple of the pictures. Brett's shirt was so cool, CASH is KING, loved it.Me,josh,hurley, and josh were like tripping out in Prob and Stat today.I knew something was up when I finished my test before josh, that was kinda weird.Im gonna lead this entry for today out with a line from one of my new songs that I have written for Enscripted...."Your lips of rain, kill all the pain"-Lips Of Rain. Mood Today: :] Music Today:From Autumn To Ashes-"Short Stories With Tragic Endings" Date:9/18-24/03 Sorry, haven't updated it in a long time. Almost a week of no updating on this thing, but I am back, it has been kinda hectic these past days, today was an ok day, it went fine.I am glad that we got to get out of Prob and Stat, to go to a Jostens meeting, about our gown and cap order form for graduation.Some are looking forward to graduation, but im not really.I have no idea what I am going to do after I graduate, hopefully Enscripted will still be standing after high school, hope nothing tears us apart.I had some time with Maggie yesterday, it was cool.I only get to see hear once or twice a week.Well, as of now, I am about to get off of work, go home, read and do some homework, because I am getting tired of writing this journal for the day. Mood Today: :| Music Today:Brand New "No Seatbelt Song" Date:9/25/03 Kinda in a depressed mood today, I am glad that my English assignment got pushed back, scared some prep guys at the volleyball game, Patrick has no good taste in music, he's crazy. The volleyball game got kinda hectic, a girl snapped, it was funny. After the volleyball game, me and matt went to Ambers and chilled over there for a couple of hours, we helped Snake put up his CB antenna on top of the house. When I got home, I had 4 hours to do homework, which included a economics notebook and a english project, had to do my speech on Noise Pollution, out of all the subjects that I choose to fight against. Mood Today: :| Music Today:Mudvaye "World So Cold" Date:9/26/03 A little hectic today, rather not talk about some things, but I had a pretty good SCHOOL day today, I am currently at work ONCE AGAIN while I am typing this, I think we're all gonna stay at dustin's house tonight, chill over there or whatever. I think I did pretty good on my tests and speech that I had today. A relationship is a hard thing to do, im in the process of learning that. I love this Mudvayne song so much, its awesome. Well, this is my outro of today, later, rock on. Mood Today: :[ Music Today:Thursday "Signals Over The Air" Date:10/26/03 Ok, It has been a MONTH since I have updated this thing, I am WAY TOO TIRED to go back through that crap and then update each date. As of now it is 9:34. I am watching Viva La Bam, so far its really awesome. My beanie that i bought from wal mart is so hardcore, it only cost three bucks. My birthday was fair, it was ok and everything. My report card was 2 b's and 2 c's, I really need to get on the ball and do better. I forgot about daylight savings time last night, i was like, "what is my computer doing". Anyways, I went to see Texas Chainsaw Massacre when it came out, Maggie went with me. To another subject, my emphasis on video games today is that the sports games are getting way cooler and more awesome. The relationship with my girlfriend is getting better. I ordered my element board today, hope to get it soon. Well, I have some homework to do, but my bookbag is in the car, and I am too lazy to get it out, guess I will have to, I must leave this day to a halt.