Purge

deep inhalation of breath
shuddering exhale
cold sweats hands shake
mind racing through
old memories, ancient myths
was it real or imagined?
can't even tell anymore
let it flow
tumbling words
falling in cascade
my own voice grows dim bile spewing forth
wracked with agony
spasms convulsions exhalations
ripping them out heedlessly
casting them on the floor
stains on the carpet
she gasps in ... what?
dismay? disbelief?
no ... disgust
the same disgust i hold myself in
as i lay here on this couch
and she sits
pen in hand floating above
the yellow notepad
and i wonder to myself
after all is said and done
who will clean up this mess?