"Bend over please.....it's time for
Its time to start jacking those gas prices up.
People are traveling.
Supply and demand you know?
So, on the news this morning, they tell me that by January 1st,
we, in California, could be looking at $4.00 per gallon.
What with the big oil war and all.
And those pesky chemicals we want to remove from the gas.And that Osama guy.
And, well ..the Holidays.
There seems to be a rule, in government, and business that states:
Fuck the people!
But fuck them better, during the holidays!
Its more festive!"
"bowling (i won two of three games),
dvds (purchasing, watching), pasta, network gaming (i won), a brilliant
game of soccer (we won, and how!), coffee, two chalk drawings, good
company; i had a really sweet weekend. and peta is coming up here
at the end of this week, so we're looking at a repeat performance!"
"If I didn't have so much work to do,
I could last for hours playing Tetris at Online Tetris Championship.
Tetris is my most favourite game in the world. If you want to play
under my team, all you have to do is enter 'Quite Happy Company'
(without the quotes) when they ask you for your company name. The
only benefit of playing under my team is, you'll be able to see
just how lousy I scored :) "
"Here I sit at my desk. I arrive back
from lunch to a peice of creamy peachy pie on my desk. Yummy...thank
you for the treat peachy creamy pie person whoever you may be. It
really is yummy scrummy good. Oh, and just for the record...I don't
just eat anything anyone has laid in front of me...in case you are
trying to posion me."
No one's interested mate. You can hang there
until the cows come home. You can get Sky TV to point as many cameras
and issue as many bulletins as they like but in the end it's just
a man in a see-through box slowly starving to death. SO STOP SULKING.
Go home-all is forgiven. I'm sure she'll have you back."
"This is an excerpt from the novelette
"Dream Lover" which is just one part of my latest book
"Curse of the Vendetta Horror Triology" available at 1stBooks.com,
Amazon.com or any place books are sold.. The style is what literary
critics have dubbed a new genre called "Black Gothic".
"So I was sleeping peacefully last
night at 3am and my phone rang. Now, I always get a bit freaked
out when that happens, as it can never be good to get a call at
that hour. Well, I had nothing to worry about, except for loosing
about an hour or so of sleep. Some *idiot* attempted to fax me something
via phone last night. Obviously, it was a mistake and they had the
wrong number, but they just wouldn't give up! I tried to trace the
call, but even the operator couldn't help me there. My caller ID
said "out of area". Gee, thanks! So what did I do? I dialed
my own number, got a busy signal (naturally) and promptly hid the
phone (while still on) in my nightstand drawer so I didn't have
to listen to it, and fell back asleep. I paid for it this morning
though by oversleeping by forty five minutes. Oops."
Quite possibly the most strenuous thing I
did all day, and certainly the very most hardest. For one thing,
I'm old. (Over thirty, even -- the horror!) Which means -- for those
of you still in the springtimes of your lives -- that various bits
of my body are now wont to develop mysterious aches and pains overnight,
as though sleeping is just a bit too tough a task for them to tackle.
I go to bed relatively unscathed, and wake up with a sore back,
or an achy neck, or wonky elbow... the list goes on and on. It's
all very demoralizing, let me assure you. I'm not sure what my body
expects me to do -- I mean, what's easier than sleeping?"
"I'm not usually lame, you know. Charley's
hair is a longstanding monument to my lack of lameness (and, when
in ginger/pink mode, it's a monument to her own misguidedness in
the hairdye department, and complete refusal to do anything as silly
as, like, read the instructions. Hehe :P). As for boobies, though,
I'm afraid you're being misled, as with the cruelly mis-titled and
probably libellous Tits for Hits 'policy'."
"I saw an ad for a movie called Real
Women Have Curves. I understand the thought behind the film.
It is a protest against the popularity of ultra-thin models and
celebrities, plus the cultural mania over dieting and working out.
The film, Im assuming, attempts to show that a womans
worth isnt related to her body type. I would agree with that,
and only add that it is just as true for men."
"there's something strange about bowling
alleys and the way they seem to be stuck thirty years in the past.
where else is it perfectly normal to combine gaggles of children
and grandparents all sitting in molded plastic chairs, carpeting
that looks like it was stolen from the set of the brady bunch, mechanical
vending machines full of cigarettes and chewing tobacco, and ashtrays
on every table from the snack bar to the pro shop? even without
the cacophony of rolling balls and crashing pins, you know as soon
as you walk into a bowling alley. nothing else manages to smell
like cigarette smoke and juice boxes and greasy pizza and disinfectant
all at the same time."
"Sigmund Freud is generally hailed
for his delineation of various psychological defense mechanisms,
one of his few achievements that time and research and the progression
of our knowledge in this field have not tarnished. The fact that
much of the work on defense mechanisms should truly be credited
to Anna Freud is somewhat beside the point... while Sigmund was
yammering on about penis envy, cigars and female hysteria, he managed
to help produce at least one thing of worth: his daughter, hailed
by many as the founder of child psychology. (And insert requisite
joke here--you'd almost have to be, with a father like that.)"
"What a shitty trip home I had tonight.
It took me two hours door to door. I am never going into work again!
It just amazes me what a bit of snow can do to the London Underground.
The tube from Earls Court to Wimbledon literally had to crawl along,
with sparks flying out all over the place, stopping abruptly every
few metres with the interior lights flashing on and off. It was