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I was born in Norfolk VA, to my father John King, a very good Man from the Gulf in FLA who died at sea in Iskenduren Bay, Turkey when He was 24, and i was only 1 1/2 years of age.

And to my mother, a beautiful, lilting-voiced, slip of a little Irish lass with a spitfire's temper and a voice like an angel...and long, shimmering chestnut hair which she let down at night past her chairseat, and brushed 100 strokes per night (sometimes she even let me brush it for her...*s*), then she would braid it to bind up on her head the next morning.

They had been in love from ages 13 and 15 until the day my Father died.

Mom didn't know what to do with herself, widowed at 22 with two toddlers, alone.

My Father had died while trying to salvage a jet fuel tanker that had been sabotaged (He was Damage Control)...I was very small, but, my mother tells me, i was already a terrible Daddy's girl...
*smiles softly*

Mom said everywhere He went i was His shadow, and that He loved it....

When He worked on the car, i was out there following Him around...when He sat down, i was in His lap....and when He went away...

...well...i can still feel what i must have felt then, watching for Him, day by day by day, waiting for Him to return, but He never came back...

After He died, my mother didnt re-marry until i was 5...and then it was to a wonderful Man, Navy Chief Petty Officer Grady Spear from asmall town in GA who married her just as much to take care of my older brother and I.

He told my Mother He was "taking over for a Buddy"....(as they were both Navy men)

True to His word, He loved and cared for us. And i loved Him very much.

They had 5 more kids over the years.

It is important to note also, that out of 7 kids, i was the only brunette, and the only one who was completely unlike all the other 6. I was a female carbon copy of my Dad.....and i even discovered, before i knew of Him, that i loved fishing and woodsy stuff. I started building things from wood, and making little traps and such...and i even discovered Rudyard Kiplingon my own, and read His work, and found later he was a favorite of my father's favorite author.

I had a tumultous and extremely trying childhood after age 12, for reasons that are no longer important.

(*HUGS! and kisses to YOU, Mama!

* ...*happy smile for her...*s*)

I'll skip ahead through Kellam High, my alma mater in my hometown where Mom and Dad moved us when I was 9.

And through TCC where i studied Media Advertising, and eventually married a wonderful Man whom i met through my volunteer stint up at a local bigtime rock radio station.

He was the top-rated Radio Personality there....and was such a sweet and kind Guy....we were married two years after meeting.

We had and lost our first son to Patau's Syndrome caused by using Roundup herbicide at my groundskeepers job, for two weeks, without having been given a mask to filter the air I was breathing.

When I asked for one, after beginning to "taste" the chemicals strongly in my own mouth, I was refused one on the grounds that "Roundup is 'safe'".

I didnt know i was newly pregnant at that time.

A year and a half later, we had Ryan...our big, strapping 12 lb., 3 1/2 oz. baby boy...

a soft aside: "(by Cesearean...there was no other way, believe me! *laughing*)"

We were truly blessed with this child on November 27th, 1982.

By this time, i had gotten into radio by my own path, and was getting quite a nice name in Hampton Roads. I was voted the 2nd best DJ there by the people...and would have been first, but our station, WOFM, Magic92 was only 3,000 watts.

The others were 100,000 watts and more.

Well, now, my stepfather died of scirrhosis of the liver when Ryan was 9 months old, and Jim and i separated a couple of years later...

I stayed in radio, had a farm, my animals...and then, skipping over a couple of years' incidents to this, the arson occured.

And here i am...*s*

Now, if you will bear with me, I will try to answer some of the questions I've received, and also relate some comments and kind words of support I have also been gifted with by many good people out here.

Snippets: Answers to Questions Frequently Asked Me

Just click "Back" to return to where you were
in the List of Questions

"What would you do with a few million if you had it?"

"What is the best piece of advice anyone ever gave you?"

(a) "Are you in treatment for the Post-traumatic Stress
Disorder caused by the arson?
(b) Why can't you just "shake it off"?
(c) And are you receiving treatment for the diabetes you
were just disgnosed with recently"

"From Ed: Diabetes and Help for the Cats"

The rest below will fill as I work on it









~~ I would purchase an enormous, rural farmhouse, and build a huge animal companion 'Retirement Home', for animals (with special emphasis on felines) whose owners have passed away...unadoptables....a special area with a very large fenced, woodsy section just formy darling feral cats everywhere...the physically disabled due to accident...

I would write and illustrate my childrens' books and build furniture in any offtime I had.

I would call it
The "Feral Felinity"� Safe Haven"
or something very close to that.

~~ "You can always tell a Man by the way He treats His dog."

My Father used to say this.
Though He died when I was an mother passed much of His philosophies to me, and the wisdom of those words has been proven over and over to me.

I keep them close to heart.

If a Man (Anyone) has been taught to respect and care for the "least of His brethren"...

...He will most normally also treat His own kind just as considerately, or better.

It is a good way to know if a One could be a mistake or not.

~~ Yes, I am required to test my blood sugar three times per day with a special machine by sticking my fingers, and I take "Glucophage" daily to try and stabilize a 400 blood sugar average. It's a bit more advanced than I knew.

As for the PTSD from the shellshock, the treatment didn't come for a year after the fire.

I kept waiting it out, hoping I'd start feeling more sociable...happier, in time.

It just got worse. The depression and grief became acute. It was crippling me.

I wouldn't even leave my motel room but once a day to eat at the Denny's in the same parking lot as the motel.

I just couldn't deal with life....with people.

I finally had to admit this thing had smacked me between the eyes and left me broken inside. You don't know how very dear my animals were to me.....I lived for my son and for them, for Ryan, His 19 years....and for them, for 10 years.

I healed, fed, brushed and nurtured them...i knew their every thought, and they adored me for it...*s*

I can't expect everyone else to be empath enough to be able to feel just how shattering this was to my psychi, to have to see them that way....tear them out of those clear, lawn litter garbage bags.

I have fought with my every shred of will to fight my way out of it, WANTING to be free of that kind of soul-deep pain that so many just would rather die than keep feeling.

I am going to survive this. Even if no one else cares what its done. Even if the woman who did it never spends a day in prison for their deaths or my losses and pain.

And if i have to, I will turn my energies after my financial situation has either improved or flourished, into changing the laws regarding animals as victims of violent crimes.

This is another person inflicting a horrible death of fire upon an innocent animal who "belongs" not to them, but to someone else, as a dear friend or child, even.

It is nothing like killing something for supper.

What parent wouldn't physically kill a person who hit or even set afire their child?

What parent wouldn't go insane at the memories of being just out of reach of being able to help their children from death....Police and firefighters pushing them away from the scene, holding them on the ground as they screamed, trying to pull an oxygen tank off of a firefighter to try to get in there themselves, because none of the rescue personnel would?

Can you blame me for being paralyzed by it?

Can you really?

For a long time, my mind was trying to force me to give up because it didnt want to suffer anymore.....but I knew i could not let myself die.

That would have been surrendering.

And I refused to give that woman one thing more of me.

I tried not to dwell on it....i tried not to think of it at all, because it is a very painful thing, and i dont like pain in my soul.

But my heart could not turn away from them, and there had been no closure...or 'resolution'.

But I knew needed help to keep from total collapse.

I had weakened that much under the added devastation of diabetes, and did not know that I had developed this since the arson...the body responds to the condition of the mind, and vice versa.

I had no idea of it, and certainly didn't know what a devastating impact diabetes can have on emotional healing..

But now, thanks to my doctor Merrick Gross of SSTAR Family Medical in Fall River) and her constant pressing, I got tested, then treated...and now...I laugh a lot....and know that I have many dear friends of the heart.

I realize now that many people love me for who i am, and for the fact that i care deeply about other people, and about them.

Im a damned good friend, and i cannot bear to turn away from a hungry pair of lost eyes.

Thank You, God, for the blessing within that curse.

I cannot help having a heart.