My Story
Being a good mom to my two biological daughters, Misty and Arika, then twelve years ago I was given guardianship of a then four year old, Alexandra. I did not know what I was getting into at that time I only thought that this little girl needed me and I did not think about the long-term repercussions of it all! Financially I needed allot more money than I had to do what I was doing but I thought if I made payments to my attorney and so on things would be all right. I could not have been more off base on the whole thing. I still am paying attorneys fees and I gained custody of Alex in 1998 I cannot seem to get out of the hole. Then on January 19th of 1999 Alex and I was in an automobile accident the fault of a young lady in a hurry to go to one of our many prisons in our town and in her haste tried to turn in front of me and I struck and totaled out her van leaving Alex needing more dental care and petrified of what had happened and me with a closed head brain injury and it kicked in fibromyalgia so now I live in a world of drugs and pain. Believe me it is not easy trying to live my life now the pain is one thing but the depression is another and it makes life almost unbearable!
I lived with my husband Chino thinking that things would get better and not knowing that he had a double life my heart broke when the police took my car and locked up my husband for things I had no idea was going on! Shocked by everything that I heard my life came tumbling down I now was left with hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt that he had used and was suppose to repay credit cards and so on I found out you can not count on anything unless you have the money in your hands you can never anticipate getting it back either it most of the time is gone. Very seldom have I loaned money that it has been repaid and those are the people that are my family and friends or suppose to be! I guess they feel I have money and do not need the money that borrowed from me even though I am behind I believe when someone tells me that they are going to pay me that they will and of course that sinking feeling when the date comes to repay me and then I never hear from them and what is worst the feel of hurt knowing they had never had any thoughts of repaying me in the first place!
Well my husband now gone and left with insurmountable bills over $30,000 just on credit cards alone that he left for me to pay. With money I get life is getting the best of me now depression and pain it is a vicious circle that is taking me down slowly. I wonder how much longer I will make it with the little bit of social security disability I receive that I will be able to maintain my home and bills for the pressure of all the credit card bills are wearing me down rapidly and anyone that knows anything about my disease knows what I am going through! Here is the link if you would like to understand it a bit more I have added a link at the bottom that you can read and understand more about what I am going through!
All the bills with my credit cards are so high, attorney’s fees, doctors bills, medical bills that have not been paid, my truck is still not fixed correctly, the heat bills are high, phone bill and then there is very little money left to buy food! I went to FIA for help for Thanksgiving trying to get food stamps for food for my family I got $22 it helped only a bit but every little bit helps then they told me I may have to pay it back go figure! I did not get the money till thanksgiving morning at 9am what a mess trying to go buy food to cook for dinner when dinner was suppose to be at 1pm with rushing around and trying to get everything it came to $94.25 of course the rest went on the plastic credit card! Now I have another bill to pay. Worried now that Christmas is coming real soon I do not know what to do. I have my bills to pay and want to also buy gifts for my family and friends if I have the money to but most importantly for my granddaughter and my daughters for my dad and mom have always told me not to buy them anything just being together is enough but for younger kids that is hard for them to understand.
Anyway I have several repair jobs that need to be taken care of immediately in my home to take care of maintenance on the house. Such as the bathroom shower has a leak and it has now ruined the shower wall not to mention the kitchen cabinets which are at the other side of the wall and I had replace everything and remodeled my bathroom and kitchen in 1992 so things were not in that bad of shape that is till now! Now I need a new countertop and to change some of my cabinets and the pipes to the kitchen sink are leaking too which has caused the cabinet under the sink to be totally ruined from water damage. I do not have the money to repair these things so we cannot use the shower and I am using a bucket to catch the water leaking in the kitchen but who is to know how much water damages it to my kitchen and bathroom floor. I just can’t seem to get ahead for anything now especially with all the bills and so on that are needing to be paid at this time.
Also I have many attorneys bills that I am paying for taking on Alexandra, I never thought that things would be the way that they are and I never thought I would have so many problems trying to keep my life together. I do not want to lose her or send her to another home as she has been with me for twelve years since she was three years old and it would be truly heartbreak for her and I if she had to move. She has become so attached to me that I have been her only attachment since birth as she has attachment disorder, depression, ADHD, as well as a few other emotional and mental problems in her life. With her growing up not seeing her bio-parents it made it hard for me as she has always blamed me for them not being around when in reality it was there lack of intention to come and do the visitation that was court order or follow what the judge had said so she could be returned home with her mother. Alex does not understand all the legalities of this case it has been difficult for me not being related in anyway to her and to get custody of her but not only that the whole emotionally roller coaster of it all was shear torture for everyone involved. The whole thing was hard on my own daughters as they virtually lost me as their mom because once I became Alex’s mom there was no time in my life for anything else she was so demanding of my time and attention twenty-four-seven! I thought, as she got older it would be easier for her to understand but in all reality it became more difficult as she has so many unanswered questions for her parents and is angry. Me being the closest person to her she takes her anger out on me the most of all which puts a strain on our relationship too. She is very intelligent but chooses not to assert herself into good things maybe in time she will realize that everyone is not crazy or out to get her! But it will take time.
My other daughters were so short changed and I feel guilty now about everything but there is nothing I can do about it now it is way too late. I must know in my heart that everything I did was for everyone’s own good and it was to give Alex a good safe life. I know that both the girls loved Alex from day one and still do she is their little sister and always will be no matter what. As she will always be my little girl, the one I wanted to keep safe from harm and to give her the best life possible.
Undate July 7, 2003
I will be going to court on the 10th of July for custody one more time for Alex. Her father feels that he can take better care of her because I am disabled and that he has more money than I do. Then if this is the case why hasn't he come to visit her and hasn't had any visitation ever setup for him and only drops in maybe once or twice a year for 15 to 30 minutes makes promises that he never keeps and disappears again. If he has so much money why hasn't he ever bought her school clothes, a birthday present or never so much as a Christmas card or call for her. It amazes me that he can put me down but yet has done so little for his own flesh an blood. I have raised Alex going on thirteen years with little child support or help from her biological parents. It makes me sad to think that I will have to go this this again and it only adds to more financial obligations, I only hope god will help me through this both emotionally and financially that I find a way through this. Say a pray an know that anything you can do to help will be greatly appreciated.
June 19, 2004
Another year gone bye and still in need. Not sure what will happen in my life at all anymore. My daughter, Alex is 17 years old now and over 7 months pregnant with a boy due August 23, 2004. I honestly don't know how I will do this let loan take care of all four of my parents that have had medical problems since last summer. In June my step mom had open heart surgery, then September 30th, 2003 my dad had triple A Anuersym Surgery that went wrong, now he is blind and has brain damage. My step mom doesn't know how to pay bills, do any of the banking, drive or do anything so I have to be ready at a moments notice to do whatever it is they need, I have lost the chance at a life at my own as they need me. Then I have been guardian of my whole mom now since January of 1990 and her mental and emotional problems are getting worse. On top of it my step dad who has been staying with me since June of 1996 fell and ruptured his spleen and ended up in ICU from November 20th, 2003 then getting out of the hospital December 10th, 2003 he went into the manor for rehab but would not eat so on the 29th of December I took him out against medical advice and now am caring for him at home. Life will never be the same then when my daughter told me she was pregnant my world caved in on me and I feel like I have no where to go.
June 30th, 2006
Well it has been a while since I have had time to do any enteries about what is going on in my life. My daughter gave birth to a beautiful baby boy, Gavin, whom I affectionately call Bube, was born with a scar on the right side of his brain, has multiple siezure disorder from Petite mal to Grand mal and it can be very scary and dangerous, he also has reflux and his stomach only holds 1 ounce at a time, he is lactose intolerate and has allergies to many things and itches all the time, and last of all what saddens me the most is he has been diagnoised as learning disabled and possibly autistic which is scary. He is not able to tell you what he wants or express himself without whining and screaming which makes life sometimes difficult.
Also I am saddened to say my father passed away on June 4th, 2006 from kidney failure, they began failing August 1st, 2005 and his body just could not do it anymore and just gave out but he did have many other health issues and is life had become more and more complicated with COPD, lung cancer, congestive heart failure, a blood disease that even the strongest of antibiotics could not take care of, dementia, schizophrenia, he had lost 70 pounds and weighed only 110 when he passed. I was hard to say good bye but he is now in a better place and he has gone home to be with god and all that left before him!! I was made his guardian and had been caring for him full time and things were so hard I never thought life could be like this ya know when were young they do not prepare you for what is to come in the so called golden ages and I have seen first hand the golden ages are not so golden!! I took care of his furneral and did everything so my mom would not have to do anything as she is now 82 years old. He had a beautiful regular furneral service but then I had the color guards come in and give him a full military service as well it was beautiful and mom was presented with the flag. I had made up a video of my life with dad when I was younger as it seems the last few years there was not many pics taken as mom just felt is was not needed let me tell ya it is something that you really need to remember to do to have pics of your life and you can always look back for now I do not have my father and there are very few pics either of the past 10 or 15 years. I have decided that we need to start remembering holidays with those snapshots so when the grandkids are grown they can see how things were before them. I lesson now learned the hard way. I have several thousands of dollars more to take care of my fathers bills as my mom said she is not paying them and why should she they are in my name I guess so it won't hurt her credit.
I have asked god to help me as I do not know what to do anymore or how I going to make it in life to take care of them all. Some days there is no energy to even take care of myself and I wonder how much longer I can take care of all my family without a total break down. If you are able to help us in any way I would truly appreciate whatever it is you could do for me. Thank you for anything you can do.
So far to date I have received $11.00 which has been greatly appreciated and I pray that more will come in to help me through this financial mess my life is in! Thank-you for whatever you can do for me and my angels!
If You Feel Like Donating $1, $2, or $3 To My Angels In Need You can send money through paypals at:
onesadlilangel@yahoo.com
Please send anything you can to help me and my angels!
$1.00 - $2.00 - $3.00 - $4.00 - $5.00 or any amount you can afford to send this is a donation not for income tax purposes as it is a gift.
Or if you would rather use snail mail you can send any kind of donation of money, food, clothes to:
Vickie Ramirez
55 W North Street
Ionia, MI 48846
http://debtfreeme.tripod.com/index.html
Please send anything you can to help me and my angels!
$1.00 - $2.00 - $3.00 - $4.00 - $5.00 or any amount you can afford to send this is a donation not for income tax purposes as it is a gift.
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Please Help My Family So Life Will Get Easier For Us!
- Prayer is always good!
- Send $1, $2, or $3 donations whatever you can spare through Paypals with the link on the page,
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- If you send a donation to me I will add your link onto my webpage too!
- Remember this is not a Charity this is a family that you will be helping it is not tax deductable! Thank-you so very much for anything yo can do.....
Other Sites That May Help You!
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Email: onesadlilangel@yahoo.com
