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I asked my family, friends and Chan’s
friends to write a "I Remember When"
memory of Chan for her 3rd Anniversary
in Heaven –September 23, 2001.
These are some of my memories:
My Dearest Chan,
I never gave up on you...
Hoping and praying that you would find
happiness and peace of mind.
I loved you ‘til the day you left us...
and I will love you ‘til the day I
come to meet you again...
I Remember When......
There are so many things I remember about how
special you were to me, the times I was sick
at home and you would call me from school
to see if I was “OK”
I remember when we used to get the chips &
dip ready for our Sunday Night Movie that we
watched together in my bed snuggled under
the comforter with the food in between us.
We always cried at the same sad parts or
laughed like hyenas if it was funny. Mostly
they were the “girlie” movies where we
needed a box of Kleenex beside us.
I remember when you used to come home from
a Saturday night out and flop on my bed and
tell me all about your evening. I heard all
the gossip and the latest news. You even
told me things that were “too much
information” but I loved you for that
because you felt comfortable enough to tell
your secrets to me. As a Mother, I
felt honoured to have that special
closeness with you.
I remember when you were about 5 years old
and you cut a big chunk out of your long
hair. You said you wanted to make a
“dust mop”. We had to take you to the
hairdresser for your first very short
haircut! It was the day before nursery
school pictures, too.
I remember when you learned your first
joke about the bear and the “ash hole”.
You told it to everyone you saw. You
were such a little jokester!! You made
us laugh so much.
I remember when you won the Colouring
Contest in The Wpg. Sun. Your name was
published in the newspaper and you won
a Starbrite Doll. You were so proud of
yourself and we were of you.
I remember when you dressed up as Madonna
for the summer park program. You won that
contest, too. You were just too cool.
I remember when I said to you “Back up to
bed, young lady”. And you said “But I’m not
tired, middle aged woman”. You were only
around 5 at the time and I just had to
laugh and let you stay up.
I remember when you started to walk at
8 months old. We went shopping with Grandma
and people were stopping us and commenting
how cute you were and how you looked just
like a little walking doll. You were so
small to be walking around.
I remember all the birthday parties we had
for you and Kyle together. Both sides of the
family for dinner, about 45 people. You and
Kyle would have to agree on the cake I would
make be it Cookie Monster, Bert & Ernie or
whatever. When you two got older I had to
get separate cakes because you both
wanted different ones.
I remember when you used to just hate
swimming lessons. We pushed you to continue
to get all your colour levels so you would
know how to swim. You used to try everything
to get out of it. You hated the diving
board and I felt so bad for you when I was
watching your lessons through the window.
I remember when we used to play the “Annie”
tape over and over again and you learned all
the words and sang at the top of your lungs.
I remember when you used to like doing dance
performances for us. You had such a vivid
imagination. You were such a good little actress.
I remember when you were flower girl for
Uncle Doug. You were 4 years old and you
looked like a beautiful princess. I was so
proud of you that day.
I remember when Kyle was born on your 2nd
Birthday and you visited me in the hospital.
You weren’t as interested in seeing your new
brother as you were in my lunch that was
brought in. You ate the whole thing!
I remember when Halloween was such a fun
time. We put lots of thought and energy in
the costumes and makeup. Dad always took you
out while I handed out the candy. I always
thought you & Kyle were the cutest “goblins”
out there.
I remember when you got so excited for
Christmas. You could never sleep when you
knew Santa was coming. You loved to buy
presents for your brother Kyle and had to
give him your present first. Giving was more
important to you than receiving.
I remember the first time we went to Disney
World and you saw Winnie The Pooh, Tigger &
Eyore. You thought they were real and
hugged them so hard. You couldn’t take
your eyes off of them.
I remember when you had your tonsils out at
Children’s Hospital. I had to sleep right
in the bed beside you because the chair
wasn’t close enough to you.
I remember how kind hearted you were.
When we saw a homeless person on the street
pushing a cart with their life belongings
you used to ask me if we could take them home.
You always felt such compassion for the
“underdog”. You would always give away your
toys and things to friends who were over
and liked certain things. You would say,
“You can have it”.
I remember when you used to beg me to visit
the Humane Society if we were driving by.
You would promise not to cry this time but you
always did. You wanted to take all of them home.
I remember when you used to bring me
“Mother’s Day Breakfast in Bed”. You always made
the day so special.
I remember when you used to go to “sleepovers”
and the excitement would always make you sick
and you would have to come home, even your
own birthday party sleepovers.
I remember when you went on your first
airplane trip by yourself to see Vanessa in
Calgary. You were 16 and such a grown up young
lady. All Vanessa’s friends loved you so much
that they didn’t want you to go home. They were
going to chip in and buy your airfare home at a
later date but you had to come home because we
were leaving for Minneapolis the next day.
I remember when we used to go on holidays and
you would sleep with me and Kyle with Dad.
We had so much fun!! We would talk and laugh
hours after the lights were out. We would do
“girly” things like shopping and they would go
off to do their “manly” things. We always
stuck together like glue.
I remember when on our last trip to Florida
together for New Year’s Eve we went for dinner
at a really nice restaurant and the waiter
(who you thought was very “hot”) asked you out
to his New Years Eve party later that night.
You were only 16 and he was around 22. When
he was serving us he couldn’t take his eyes off
you. It was quite cute. Of course you didn’t go
but when we got back to the hotel you met the
nicest guy who was doing a magician act there.
You spent the evening sitting by the ocean with
him while we had a New Years toast with his
parents. He said it was “love at first sight”
with you but you were going out with Brent at
the time so you told him you were “taken”. You
were so loyal to your friends.
I remember so many good times. I also
remember the bad and the sad times but I want
my good memories to be at the front of my mind.
I just remember that you were such a beautiful,
caring person, so talented and smart, yet so
very insecure.I wish I could have helped you
more with your insecurities, because they were
unfounded.you were such a special girl. You
are so very much missed by all who knew you.
We just want you back....I pray that you are at
peace and finding the fulfillment in Heaven that
you didn’t find here. I hope you are free of
the “eating disorder monster” who controlled
your teenage years.
I know you are watching over us all. I feel you
and I know the butterflies and pennies are from you.
With All My Love and Eternal Sadness at losing you.
You will never be forgotten.
Love Mom
 
Channy, bet you can't believe that Mom, Dad
and Kyle got a tatoo done in your memory on
Sept. 23, 2001. I can hardly believe it myself
-Mom and Dad with a tatoo.....!!
I just wanted something special that would be
with me always like you are in my heart and mind.
Fly fly, little wings. Fly beyond imagining The
softest cloud, the whitest dove.Upon the wind
of heaven’s love.Leave this lonely world of ours,
Escape the sorrow and the pain. And fly again.
Fly, fly precious one.Your endless journey has
begun, Take your gentle happiness. Far too
beautiful for this.Cross over to the other shore.
There is peace forevermore. Hold this memory
bittersweet, Until we meet.
Fly, fly do not fear. Don’t waste a breath,
don’t shed a tear. Your heart is pure, your soul
is free, be on your way, don’t wait for me.
Above the universe you’ll climb.On beyond the
hands of time, The moon will rise, the sun will
set. But I won’t forget.
Fly, fly little wings. Fly where only angels
sing. Fly away, the time is right.
Go now, find the light!!!
(Fly – Celine Dion)
HUGS & KISSES, YOUR MOM FOREVER
September 23,2001
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