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My Journal 2002 (Jan thru April)

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To Journal 2002 (May thru August)

April 20, 2002

A strange thing happened last night--I was trying to type a journal page and it would not type it on the computer. And then I tried to get into the chat room and the same thing happened--it would not type in the chat room. Today, it is fine! Computers continue to baffle me!

Mari was back in the chat room today for a few minutes. It was so good to see her. She is very tired and her mother is in the hospital. I keep her in my prayers every day.

Tonite, I am going to a concert of classical music and I am looking forward to that. I have been so tired lately, that I keep wandering why that is so.

Yesterday, Becky, my daughter picked me up and after getting a Jamie's coke, we went out to her house and had lunch and then we went out in the yard and worked.

Went down to the edge of their little lake and looked at the dock that Ric is building. Then we went out to Conatas and got some plants and put them on the balcony outside my living room. When I went to open the door to the living room, I found we were locked out! So I had to yell at the first person I saw who came out the door, and they sent someone up to unlock my door. Another adventure in my life.

April 12, 2002

I have been back here in Indiana for a week now, and how I miss Florida!

I rode down to Florida with Nancy and Ron and their family, driving straight through--a long trip, but it was worth it.

I stayed with my friend Marylu and her husband George and we had so much fun. They live right on the water in Sarasota, so we went boating one day out on Sarasota Bay. It was morning and a beautiful sunny day with no wind.

Another day, a neighbor took us out sailing on the bay and another great day with a nice gentle breeze. We also went to Sarasota and walked the beach with a friend who lives there. I did some shopping and got some summer clothes and went to some meetings.

One day we went to see Iris, Judi Denchi portrayed the part of the woman with ALZ and it was very good. Of course, I cried as I watched the progression of her disease and thought how that will be for me. And I was glad I went. I think my friend got a better understanding of this disease.

All in all, it was a perfect vacation and I was so happy that I could go.

It was very hard to come back, but at least it has warmed up here and that helps as I can get out and walk. Tonite, I am going over to Becky's and hopefully to a Support meeting at the hospital.

March 28, 2002

Role Reversal

I have been so aware lately of the role reversal which has take place between my two daughters and myself.

Such simple things as filling my med box correctly, writing down notes to myself correctly, taking my meds correctly, remembering time set for picking me up, keeping track of finances, and reading calendar dates sometimes correctly.

I often have to call them and check about the time they will pick me up or ask them what we will be doing that day and what we are going to do.

Sometimes I feel like a kid who has ADD. My girls have been very kind about checking with me and helping me to remember some things I will be doing.

Becky helped me yesterday to pack for the trip to Florida, so that I would have the things I needed for the trip, and I was very thankful. Otherwise, it would be a disaster!

As much as I want to be independent, I realize it is not possible. And I still go to that place where I have the ability to be independent. It is so hard to come to that place of acceptance!

March 22, 2002

Thoughts and feelings about living at an assisted living facility:

It was a sad decision to agree to come and live in Indiana, and when I agreed to do so, I did not know how much it would affect me. I have always prided myself on being indedependent of my children and leading a full life, so it was somewhat of a shock when I got here and began to experience what it will be like.

I have had so much sadness around giving up my home in Florida, giving up my car, but most important, giving up my independence, so to speak. The place is here is lovely and the people working here are very nice and the food is good most of the time and I am probably one of the youngest people here! And I am very cautious of exposing the fact that I do have ALZ.

My two daughters have been wonderful about helping me get settled and taking me places. Thank God for their caring. If it were not for the chat room, I would be really depressed! I am sleeping better so perhaps that will help as I have been so very very tired since I got here.

March 02, 2002

After a period of time not writing, I am hoping to get some more writing done.

It has been a whirlwind time for me. Less than two weeks ago, my daughter and my niece came down to Florida and packed me up to move back to Indiana where I will be in an assisted living place nearer to my daughters.

The time has come that I can no longer live alone, so I have consented to live near my daughters. I needed to swallow my pride of independence and do what is best for all of us.

I have a lovely apartment here and think I will like it very much--except for the weather! I am waiting for my furniture to arrive on Tuesday and then I can put up my pictures, etc. and make it my home for the rest of my life. I do feel blessed to have such a wonderful family and they are trying to make it easier for me to make this big change. Familiar furniture will help.

Becky is working on getting Dr. and Dental, eye check up, etc. I am fortunate to be able to do some nice walking here as the street is not busy so I can get some good exercise.

Here is something my good friend, John Staton, wrote to me the other day.

"Know that you are loved by God no matter where you live. Love can find you no matter where you are. I am sure you will meet many old friends living in Kokomo again, as well as new friends in your newplace. Try to live one day at a time, realizing one can't control much in this world.

Peace be yours.

All my Love, John

January 1, 2002

Happy New Year!!!



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