October 2000 has already been an unusual month for Canada, and it's not even half over. What made this month more unusual than any other? Canada won its first gold medal ever in Olympic wrestling. More importantly however, Canada saw the loss of one of its most charismatic Prime Ministers - Pierre Elliott Trudeau. Trudeau was the man that fathered the constitutional independence of Canada. Whether you loved him or hated him, he was definitely charismatic. He was also a ballsy bastard.
Pierre Trudeau was given a State burial. After all, he was a Statesman. He was the leader of Canada for many years and he arguably, did his job very well. However, the subject of this rant is not Pierre Trudeau per se. It is the concept of a State burial.
A State burial is reserved for those that serve the State. I would argue that it should be reserved for those that serve the State with distinction. But nonetheless, it is what it is. The fact that it is reserved for Heads of State doesn't bother me. What bothers me is that some boneheads think everyone, his uncle and the freakin' chimpanzee on the corner ought to get a Statesman's burial.
Just think back to that jackass Lucien Bouchard. Remember when "Hockey Legend" Maurice 'the rocket' Richard died? Dinkwad Bouchard wanted a State burial for him. A HOCKEY PLAYER! Give me a goddamn break! This guy played hockey! What part of State in State burial don't you understand?
Even worse was that whole Lady Di fiasco. For the record, she is not, nor was she at the time of her demise, the Princess of Whales. Further, Diana was not royalty at the time of her death. Yet every limey nimrod (and yes I can say this because I was born in England) raised a ruckus when Buckingham Palace didn't half-mast her Ensign.
Of all the non-statesmen I can think of, I could perhaps justify only one of them getting a Statesman's burial - Mohandas Karamchand Ghandi. The Mahatma I would argue, is an exception because although he was never the leader of India, he did ipso facto lead the country. He was responsible for her birth of independence. How many state leaders accomplish such a feat? How many state leaders can say with no exaggeration that they could rally 750 million people at one time and tell them to use non-violent resistance in the face of what could be described as an inherent evil? In any event, I'm certain the Mahatma would have preferred to be cremated in a simple ceremony, wearing the only pieces of cotton he owned. The fact that millions of people lined up to see him ... well, there are some things you can't help.
But coming back to 'the rocket' and the dead blonde ... they were nothing more than celebrities. Celebrities don't deserve State burials, no matter how much of a hard-on they give you. The problem is that our society has become so anally obsessed with celebrities that these days you can't sit on the can and take a dump without being filled in on what kind of a dump the celebrity of the day is making.
If you are that obsessed about celebrities, go stalk them. I don't really give a crap. However, leave the State burials to those that deserve it, namely State leaders. Let the celebrities blow it out their collective arses.
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