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I Should Have Known

I opened his letter.It said “You’re a wonderful person, Remember me.”

For about a week I wondered what he meant by that. Of course, being as self absorbed as I am, I didn’t care enough to try to find a phone number where I could reach him and actually find out what was going on and why he was being so morbid.

When he called me that Saturday and told me he’d been hospitalized for a couple days due to a suicide attempt, (he had taken a bottle of sleeping pills), I wasn’t surprised. He’d been hinting at being suicidal for as long as I’d known him.

Well, I take that back. I was a little surprised. He was all about surprises lately. When I met him, he was kind of a misfit. His clothes were funny, his hair wasn’t stylish, and he didn’t try to impress anyone. In fact it seemed like he went out of his way sometimes to antagonize teachers, or say mean things to people who you’d normally not want to upset, as they were more popular and would get all of their friends to tease you to no end.

For awhile we were just acquaintences. I found him to be hilarious, the way he’d say something sarcastic under his breath. After we got to know each other, I tried to get him to loosen up. I tried to get him interested in his appearance, music, basically anything to make him a little more like me and a little less nerdy.

All through high school he refused to take my advice or tips, which I didn’t mind. I was only trying to make things easier for him, I accepted him for who he was. After I quit 12th grade, I only talked to him on the phone or over the internet. He had finally taken interest in stuff that I liked. –Music, Fashion, Body Modification, Hairstyles, etc.

Jason is now a mix between a raver/ and a punk rocker. He won’t admit that though, cause punks don’t admit things like that. He has blue hair and a mohawk. He recently got some peircings. He likes a lot of the bands I like. He’s also bisexual now, and has attempted suicide.

I guess this is the effect college has on people?