True Life- I am a Harry Potter character Based on MTV's True Life
Disclaimer: True Life belongs to MTV, Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley, Neville Longbottom, Draco Malfoy, Fred and George Weasley, Ginny Weasly, Professor Dumbledore, Professor Snape, Professor McGonagall, Lord Voldemort, Cho Chang, and Cedric Diggory all belong to Ms. J.K. Rowling, I belong to myself, and Kelly belongs to the Planet of the Apes. Britney Spears besides belonging to plastic surgery, belongs to herself. 98° also belong to themselves. The Hardest Thing belongs to 98° who rule!
I sat staring at the computer screen wondering what should come next in my Harry Potter fanfiction.
"Hmm, so Malfoy comes in and kisses Hermione..."
"NOOOOOOO!!!!!" the computer screamed. I looked at it. Hermione was looking straight up at me infuriated.
"Katie shut your stinking mouth, I'm talking to Mike! Geez," Kelly said from the next room.
I sat staring at the computer screen wondering if what happened was real, or not.
"Stupid fanfic authors, I AM ALWAYS WITH THAT MUDBLOOD GRANGER! Can't you put me with Britney Spears or something?"
O, good idea Malfoy! But no," I said as I quickly typed something into the computer. I clapped my hands and the characters quickly came out the the screen and onto my living room floor.
Kelly ran into the room, infuriated that I had caused all this racket. Then when she saw the Harry Potter characters in my living room, she looked up at me. "WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE? ARE THEY BRITISH, THEY LOOK BRITISH!" she said.
"You have never heard of me? Of us..."Harry asked. He lifted up his bangs to show his lightning bolt scar. Kelly stared at him some more.
"I would get that removed if I were you, it looks pretty awkward," she said. I clapped my hands once more and Britney Spears and 98° popped into my living room. Britney was obviously still lip-synching from a concert because her lips were moving, but no sound was coming out.
"Yea baby!," Malfoy said as he started dancing with Britney. When she openned her eyes and saw him dancing next to her she screamed and looked around. She screamed again. This made 98° look at her and they told her to shut her fake mouth.
Kelly was already busy flirting with Cedric, but Cho had something to say about that! She pushed Kelly aside as she passionatly kissed Cedric but Kelly just came back again. Cedric looked absolutly horrified that Cho and Kelly were both wanted him.
"ENOUGH!" I screamed at them. "Kelly go flirt with one of the 98° hotties, other than Nick, Cho, you are with...RON!" Ron looked absolutly clueless, but Cho agreed(you never mess with a fanfic writer!) and solemnly walked over to Ron. "Ginny, darling, come here!" I called as Ginny walked reluctantly over to me. "You and Cedric, now!" I yelled. She looked exhasperated as she walked over to Cedric. He looked at me funny then when I gave him the don't-mess-with-a-fanfic-writer look, he kissed her on the cheek. "Hermione, of course you are with Harry and Neville, you go with Britney. Malfoy, you wanna be a bachelor, you got it! NO GIRLS FOR YOU!" I said laughing like a mad scientist.
"Who I did not mention, are bachelors. Now we bring the teachers." I clapped my hands again and Dumbledore, McGonagall, and Snape came into the room. "Hey! I ordered Hagrid! What is Snape doing here? I do not want Snape in my living room people!" I yelled furiously at Snape.
"And I am not afraid of you Snape, you are not my teacher! HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"Hagrid was unable to use any form of magic to get here. I was ordered to take his place. I don't want to be here either, miss, I hate fanfic writers."
"FINE THEN!" I screamed as I walked over and sat next to Nick from 98°.
"What is this?"Ron asked as he stared into the computer.
I told Nick goodbye as I stood up and walked over to Ron. "A computer, Ron. It's how us fanfic authors write about you!"
"Where is your owl? I need to send mum a letter and tell her that I will not make it to dinner."
"Ron, remeber? I AM A MUGGLE! I DO NOT HAVE AN OWL!"
"Oh, and what is this?" he asked as he walked over to my T.V.
"It's a T.V. set Ron. This box shows you pictures and words if you push this button here. He pushed the power button and started watching wrestling. Hermione was busy playing our family's piano excitedly as Harry watched, very bored.
Not interesting enough," I said as I clapped my hands again. Lord Voldemort came from the computer. Harry sighed as he took out his wand. Everyone was watching now, except for Ron, who was still excitedly watching wrestling. Harry jumped or ducked every curse, but he couldn't put any on Voldemort. Finally, Ron got up, put a head lock on Voldemort and took him to the ground. Harry put a death curse on him but, since Voldmort couldn't die, he became a being without a body again.
"Potter, you should have died," Malfoy said wickedly. They started fighting again. I ordered everyone to settle down, the MTV people would be here any minute to start shooting True Life, I am a Harry Potter character(inside joke).
Pretty soon, there was a knock on the door. I answered it and the MTV cameramen burst into my house and into my living room. They looked around and decided to set up in the corner. They were very excited when they saw Britney Spears and 98°, they decided to have 98° sing something and Britney be a co-host.
After about an hour of setting up the camera equimpment, they told me I could begin.
I took a microphone and walked over to Britney Spears. "Hello MTV! You know this is Britney Spears, don't ya! Well I am a fanfiction author and Britney and I will be your hosts today! Let's get started!"
I walked over to where Harry and Hermione were sitting. "This, veiwers is Harry Potter! And his girlfriend, Hermione Granger. Harry, show your scar to the veiwers." He lifted some hair off his forehead and made the lightning bolt shaped scar visible. This is from when Lord Voldemort tried to kill Harry, unsuccsessful, as you can tell. And, this is Hermione Granger. She is the top Hogwarts student and a fine example to students everywhere." Awkward moment of silence.
I walk over to Ron and Cho. "Ron Weasley, Harry's best friend, and his girlfriend, Cho Chang. Cho is a remarkable Quidditch player. Ron is Harry's best friend, did I not mention that? Now I will turn it over to Britney."
"Hello MTV! HOW ARE YA'ALL! I gotta introduce my man, Neville Longbottom! We are dating, sorry guys! Now here for your enjoyment- 98°!"
'It's the Hardest Thing I'll ever have to do, to look you in the eyes, and tell you I haven't read it. To show no emotion, when you kill Lord Voldemort...'
"Thank you 98°! Here's Katie!"
"Thank you, Britney, hows the plastic surgery?"
"Oh, going great thanks!"
"Good to hear, ::not:: Here are some of the coolest guys known to Hogwarts, Fred and George Weasley!"
"Yea, thanks Kate. Our e-mail addresses are Fred@CHERRYBOMBS.COM and George@EXPLODINGCANDY.COM. We've got everything from gum that expands when it goes into the mouth, making it near impossible to get out, to telephones that explode when you touch them. E-mail us your orders!"
"Thank you, guys. Now here are Harry's teachers and headmaster, Professer Snape, McGonagall, and Dumbledore!"
"Students, remember to stay in school!" (I cut the rest it was too boring.)
"Ginny Weasley and Cedric Diggory, such a cute couple! Tell us about yourselves."
"All the girls like me and I got stuck with a 4th year! How ridiculous! Why couldn't I have Cho????"
"Ginny?"
"Oh, I have 6 brothers. I am going into my 4th year at Hogwarts and um, thats all." Ginny said shyly.
"Malfoy," I grunted, "your turn."
"Thanks a lot. Why couldn't Britney of interveiwed me?"
"BECAUSE SHE IS BUSY!" I snapped.
"Whatever. Listen e-mail me at Malfoy@Pottersux.com. You can get free I hate Potter, I hate Granger, and I hate Weasley badges. Also vote for me as the #1 Potter character of all time." he said proudly.
"Lord Voldemort?"
"Yes?"
"Come, we must interveiw you, too."
"I WILL KILL POTTER! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"O.k. Voldy, whatever you say."
"MTV thanks you for tuning in. See ya lata!"
Show stops running.
"Congrats all! You did a remarkable job. All except for Voldemort. Well anyway, back in the COMPUTER! All of you now!"
THE END!
That was a humor fanfiction. I did not mean to offend you Britney Spears' loving people. And I didn't mean to offend Britney Spears. And I didn't mean to offend Snape/Malfoy fans. O.K. go on leave me alone!