A LESSON IN MUGGLE COOKING
By Harmony Griswold
"This will be so much fun!" Hermione Granger said, grinning at her two friends, Harry Potter and Ron Weasley. Harry nodded, enthusiastic, though not as enthusiastic as the witch talking to him. Ron scowled.
"No it won't," Ron said, his arms crossed over his chest. "It'll be stupid......I understand the reason Dumbledore made muggle studies mandatory, but this new teacher is out to turn us into muggles!"
Hermione frowned, but it was Harry that spoke next. "Oh, come on, Ron," The young wizard said. "I think it'll be fun to try cooking!"
"But we can't use our wands!" Ron complained in a whiney voice. Hermione sighed. "It's not like we have any chance, Ron...." She picked up one of the packages of 'Top Romen' from the muggle stove next to her. "Besides, we have an easy one.... Romen." she announced, shoving the package under Ron's freckled nose. "The directions are right on the back."
Ron continued to scowl but took the blue package. "All right," he mumbled, flipping it over to read the instructions.
"Good," Hermione nodded curtly, then went to her stove to start her food. Harry lingered a moment longer, then went to begin his own.
Ron sighed and turned back to the stove. He looked down at the cooking instructions. "Boil two cups water," he read softly to himself. "Okaay...." He pulled open the nearest cabinet and took out a large glass measuring cup. "Hey, this isn't so hard," he said, the corners of his mouth turning up as he filled the cup with water. "Two cups.... now to boil it..."
The redheaded wizard placed the measuring cup on the stove and turned the flame up all the way.
"Add noodles, breaking up if desired...." he read and shrugged. He took the package of romen and pulled it open, revealing a large block of off-white, dry noodles. "Okay, now I break them..." He crumbled them in his hands over the two cups of water, then looked back down at the instructions.
"Cook three minutes-"
Ron broke off abruptly as the measuring cup exploded, sending shards of glass, wet romen noodles and hot water all over. Ron blinked in surprise.
"What happened!?!" Harry demanded, rushing over, and surveying the mess.
Instead of answering his friend, Ron turned to Hermione, who was standing, wide eyed, on his other side. "You said it'd be easy!" He accused, waving the spice packet angrily in her face.
Hermione took an involuntary step back. "It is!" she insisted. "I don't know what you did!" She bent down, picked up a piece of glass and frowned at it. "What'd you try to cook in?"
"One of," Ron spun around and yanked the cabinet open once again. "These," he said, taking hold of another measuring cup and pulling it out.
"Oh no, Ron!" Hermione said, exasperated. "That's GLASS! You were supposed to use a metal pan-like Harry's or mine!"
"Well, how was I to know?!" Ron shouted back, oblivious to the fact that Hermione was now staring at something over his shoulder rather than him. "The picture shows it clear, and-"
"Harry!" Hermione gasped, interrupting her friend.
"What?" Harry, who had been picking up glass from the floor, said and looked up.
Hermione pointed to his stove. "Your romen!" She gaped.
Harry glanced over his shoulder to see flames shooting from his pot. "Oh no!" He said, sprinting over to the stove, and turning off the heat.
"My romen!" Hermione gasped, and ran back to her stove, leaving Ron glaring at his cooking wreckage.
***
"Really!" Professor Shradrow frowned disapprovingly at the three young people before her. "How could you destroy romen like that? Exploding it," her gaze flicked pointedly to Ron. "Burning it-and right through the pan too!" she looked at Harry. "And melting it," she sighed as she looked at Hermione, who turned bright red. "Really, Ms. Granger-being from a muggle household, I would have expected better of you-you should know to open the package before putting it in the water."
"I dropped it when Ron's exploded!" Hermione defended herself weakly. "I didn't-"
Shradrow held up a hand. "Not now." She sighed once again. "Now, you may all take an F, or you may try again..."
"F!" Ron volunteered immediately. Harry nodded, and Hermione glared-but didn't object.
"Very well," the professor flicked her wand at her grade book. "Take your wands and you may go. Please send the canned soup people in."