Left Behind
A/N: This is at the beginning because I don't
want to ruin the effect at the end. (Hopefully there will be one). This story
needs a bit of an explanation: I have read countless fics about the woman
Sirius "left behind", but have never even seen one from Peter's
girlfriend's POV -- come to think of it, I've never seen Peter have a
girlfriend. Well, this is my meager interpretation of what one might have to
say. Take it for what you will. Please review when you're done! ~Anne
Disclaimer: It's not mine! Well, the plot is,
but I'm still not sure how I feel about it, so don't give me any credit yet!
Why me? That's a question I often ask myself.
Why did I have to fall in love with the one who was never brave, but in the end
that tried to be? Doesn't that count for something? Doesn't that bloody count
for anything? Yes, you say? That counts, of course it counts. Why, then? Why is
he gone? Why has he left me here?
It's been nearly eight years and I keep
asking myself these pointless questions. Why? I don't know. Perhaps it's
because if I don't keep asking I might have to move on-- date again, even love
again. But I don't think anyone could love me again. No one ever did; not until
Peter.
I'm not pretty; not in a traditional sense,
but he always said I was beautiful. I've always been plump, but after he died,
I gained a lot of weight. I couldn't cope, so instead I ate. My hair is blond
and thick, kind of non-descript, and my eyes are a watery blue, but when Peter
looked at me he didn't see all that. He saw me.
We met after our school days- his at
Hogwarts, mine overseas in Beauxbatons. We were both assigned to the same
department in the ministry- The Department for The Regulation of Magical
Accessories and Wares. Peter was doing an apprenticeship in cauldrons, while I
was learning how to inspect wands. For us it was love at first sight. Obviously
I'd not done much dating at Beauxbatons; only when the occasional boys' school
visited at the dances, and even then, well, I wasn't much of a dancer.
Peter had never had a girlfriend before me,
and likewise I'd never had a boyfriend before him. We were each other's firsts
in every way, and then he went away and left me. I know he had to do it. He
loved Lily and James. I only met them once or twice at parties, but he talked
about them so often that I felt I knew them. Them and Remus Lupin and that,
that Sirius Black. I'm bitter- I'm the first to admit it, but I suppose Peter
wouldn't want me to be. He loved Sirius, too, after all.
I'll never forget that Halloween. We were
supposed to hand out treats to the muggle children in my neighborhood together,
but at the last minute Peter owled me and said he couldn't make it- that he had
something he had to see to. I still have that letter.
Mandy,
I'm so sorry, but I have to skip handing
out treats with you tonight. I've been called on to handle something; hopefully
it'll go well and I'll be able to join you for the end of the evening, but if
not, remember this: I love you.
-Peter
Short and sweet. That was my Peter, in more
ways than one. He obviously knew what he was headed for. Why didn't he take me
with him? I would have gone so much more willingly than I'd have stayed here
for this eternity of loneliness. I visited his mother after they told us what
happened. But after that first visit, I found I couldn't go back. There was too
much of Peter that lingered there and it hurt too much.
So now I play a waiting game. I'm waiting to
die, because I know sooner or later I will. A broken heart will kill me
eventually; it's just a very slow disease. At least in death there will be
release- release from all the pain and heartache and maybe- just maybe from the
memories.