Zac and Lucy climbed down the tree house ladder, and reached the ground. They looked up and watched as Amelia struggled to climb down the ladder.

"Oh, no! I might fall!!" Amelia shrieked worriedly. She was totally terrified, as she glanced uneasily down at the distance down to the ground.

Lucy rolled her eyes, an annoyed and impatient look on her face. "Scaredy-cat," she muttered under her breath.

"Amelia, come on. Don't look down. Just try to concentrate on getting down here," Zac instructed, with a sigh. "Try not to think so much about how far the ground is--"

"WHAT is going on here?!" A voice thundered.

Zac and Lucy turned around, and Amelia glanced behind her nervously. Zac bit his lip, while Lucy's mouth dropped open, as they all stared up at the person the voice belonged to.

There stood an old woman, at least seventy years old, glowering with fury. Her silvery white hair was pulled back in a tight bun at the nape of her neck, covered with a hairnet. A pair of brown-rimmed spectacles rested on her nose, and her cold brown eyes peered down at Zac and Lucy through the lens. She wore a drab brown dress, and a beige cardigan over it. The skirt of her dress barely fit around her huge hips. Her chubby legs were covered in white stockings that had runs in it; her feet were squeezed into ancient-looking worn-out brown shoes. This woman did not look very nice, and did not seem to be the least bit pleased with what she saw. In fact, she was seething and looking absolutely furious.

"I demand to know what is going on!!" The old woman shouted.

"Uhhh....Bertha.....hi...." Zac stuttered.

"Don't you Bertha me! That's Mrs. Murdorff to you, boy! Have you no respect for your elders??!" Bertha barked.

Zac's face turned slightly red. "Errr.....sorry...." he mumbled.

"You should be!" Bertha snapped. She shook her head in disbelief. "Well, I never! I've never met such a rude, disrespectful boy in my life! You, Zachary Hanson, should have more respect. What's the matter with you??!" She looked down at Zac with disgust. "Shame on you!"

Zac looked down at the ground. "Ummm.....I...."

Bertha ignored Zac. She looked up at the tree house ladder, where Amelia clung to fearfully.

"AMELIA PENELOPE MURDORFF! Come down here this instant!!" Bertha shouted.

Amelia shrieked. "Y-yes, nana!" she squealed. She quickly scrambled down the ladder, forgetting about her fear of heights, which was nothing compared to the look that could kill on Bertha's wrinkled face.

As Amelia hurried over, Bertha immediately grabbed Amelia, taking Amelia by her arms. She began feeling around Amelia's body, as though to check whether or not any of her bones were broken.

"What's the matter with you?? Climbing trees like that?! It's very dangerous! You could have fallen! You could have been hurt! Heaven forbid, you could have broken a bone!" Bertha scolded angrily. "How could you do something like this??! I am sorrily ashamed of you! Shame, shame, shame on you!!"

"I'm sorry, nana!" Amelia whimpered. "I-I didn't mean to upset you. I didn't mean to worry you, honest. I didn't mean to do anything wrong. But it's just that...."

"It's just that what??" Bertha demanded.

Amelia lip quivered. "Well, Zachary here, invited me up to the tree house to play cards, and...."

"WHAT??!" Zac yelled. "That's not true! You invited yourself up there to play cards! I didn't ask you to do anything!"

Bertha whirled around to face Zac. "You made my Amelia put her life at risk by climbing a tree??!" she roared.

"NO!" Zac screamed. "I didn't make her do anything! She climbed up on her own! I didn't have anything to do with it!"

Bertha shook her finger warningly at Zac. "Don't you dare raise your tone of voice with me, boy. You need to be controlled and disciplined. I don't know what your parents are thinking, letting you run around wild like this, looking for trouble, and causing a hazard to innocent people like my Amelia. You should be terribly ashamed of yourself." She glared at Zac, her face shaking with rage. "And what were you doing up there, playing cards??! You must have been gambling! Playing poker!"

"WHAT??!" Zac hollered. "We weren't playing poker! We were playing war!"

"War??!" Bertha echoed. "Hmmph! I suppose that's just as evil as poker!"

Zac looked at Bertha weirdly. "You don't have the slightest clue what you're talking about. You don't know anything."

"Zachary made me climb the tree! Zachary made me climb up the tree! He made me! He made me!" Amelia screeched.

Zac glared at Amelia. "No, I didn't! Shut up!!"

"What a liar! Will you leave Zac alone??!" Lucy demanded, scowling at Amelia. "You know darn well he didn't force you to do anything!"

Bertha looked angrily over at Lucy. "What have we here, another menace??!" She glared back at Zac. "I suppose this is your accomplice, is she not??!"

Lucy made a face. "What??! Lady, you don't know what you're talking about."

Bertha looked fiercely from Zac to Lucy. "Have you two no respect whatsoever??!!" she shouted.

Lucy gave Bertha a weird look. "Are you for real??"

"How dare you! Speak to me like that! Mind your p's and q's! You both need some manners! Both of you!" Bertha bellowed.

"Lady, you need to get a grip," Lucy replied, giving her a weird look.

"You dare disrespect me??! You have no conduct whatsoever! Your behavior is out of control! The both of you! Such naughty children!" Bertha rebuked angrily. "I am a lot older than you children. You should give me respect!"

Lucy raised her eyebrows. "A lot older than me?" she repeated. She shook her head. "Lady, you're putting that mildly -- that's an understatement" She looked at Bertha disgustedly. "I mean, look at you. Geez, you must be at least seventy bazillion years older than us."

"OHHHHH!!" Bertha cried. She stared at Lucy in horror. "How rude! I am appalled! I've never seen such an unruly little girl in my life!" Then, she glared over at Zac.

"And you," Bertha hissed. "You're no better than her!" Her eyes burned into Zac's. "Believe me, your mother will hear about this! I don't know what that woman's thinking, letting you be out of control like this. What you need is a good whipping! I'm going to tell her to spank some manners into that hide of yours! And I'll have to tell her again to get that hair of yours cut!" She grabbed Amelia's arm. "Come along, Amelia! Don't go anywhere near this boy! He's a threat to your safety and well-being!" With that, she dragged Amelia away, with Amelia bawling her eyes out.

Lucy and Zac watched bemusedly as Bertha hauled a hysterical Amelia away. They stared after Bertha and Amelia as the two disappeared out of sight.

Lucy looked at Zac. "Geez, how the heck do you put up with neighbors like them??!" She stared at Zac in disbelief. "Are they always like this??"

Zac sighed. "I don't know. Don't even ask."

"Man! That old hag is worse than her granddaughter!" Lucy exclaimed. "A lot, worse. She's crazy!" She made a face. "If you ask me, I didn't think anyone could be worse than Amelia after meeting her, but man oh man, that Bertha windbag takes the cake by far. Man, that woman's totally whack. Totally nuts."

Zac sighed. "Yeah, well, I guess that's my problem, unfortunately. But hey, look on the bright side. At least we got rid of Amelia." He gave Lucy a small grin.

"Hey, you're right!" Lucy said happily. "YES!!" She pumped her fists in the air.

Zac laughed. "Yep."

Lucy grinned. "Cool. I thought that girl would never leave!"

"So, whaddaya say....you wanna go inside and get something to eat now?" Zac asked.

Lucy nodded. "Sure! I'm starved."

Zac grinned again. "Cool. Let's go."

Lucy followed Zac inside the house, and they crossed through the living room, into the kitchen. Diana was standing by the counter, making sandwiches.

"Hi mom," Zac said. "Can we eat now?"

Diana smiled. "Of course." She glanced over at Lucy. "Hi, honey. How are you doing?"

Lucy grinned. "Hi. I'm just swell."

"Well, that's good to hear," Diana remarked with a chuckle. "What kind of sandwich would you like to have?"

"What sandwiches do you have?" Lucy questioned.

"Tuna, ham, and peanut butter and jelly," Diana answered.

Lucy wrinkled her nose. "Can I have a PBJ?"

Diana nodded. "Absolutely." She looked at Zac. "And what about you, Zac?"

"I'll have the same as Lucy," Zac decided.

Diana smiled. "Sure. Take your pick." She moved aside, revealing the large platter of several sandwiches.

Lucy picked up a peanut butter and jelly sandwich off the platter, and Zac chose a peanut butter and jelly sandwich as well. Diana placed two plates on the kitchen table, and Zac and Lucy sat down at the table in front of them.

"Would you kids like anything to drink?" Diana asked.

"Mmmm...." Lucy thought for a moment. "Can I have OJ?"

"Yeah, me too," Zac added.

"All right." Diana opened the refrigerator, and removed a carton of orange juice. She took out two glasses from the cupboard, and placed them on the kitchen table, pouring the juice into the glasses.

"Here you go, kids," Diana said, as she placed the glasses in front of Lucy and Zac.

"Thanks," Lucy said, as she lifted the glass and brought it to her lips for a sip.

"Yeah, thanks mom," Zac said with a grin.

Diana smiled. "You're welcome."

"Mom?" Zac spoke up.

"Yes, Zac?" Diana responded.

"Why is Bertha Murdorff such a crabby old lady?" Zac wanted to know.

Diana looked at Zac. "Zac, she's an old woman. She doesn't have much energy with her old age."

"Yeah, but she sure does have a lot of energy to yell!" Zac commented.

Diana raised her eyebrows. "Have you been bothering Bertha again?"

"No!" Zac said defensively. "But she just came over and started yelling at us for no good reason, being all cranky and nasty and whatnot."

Diana gave Zac a look. "For no good reason?" she repeated. She gave Zac a doubtful look.

Zac shrugged. "Yeah. She just randomly started getting on our cases." He took a bite into his sandwich. "If you ask me, it was totally out of the blue. And Amelia!" He shook his head. "That's another character. She's a real pest."

"Zac, don't be rude," Diana reprimanded. "Amelia is a sweet little girl. She's cute."

"Cute??" Zac repeated. "Ugghhhh....I think not." He stuck out his tongue in disgust. "She's so annoying. I don't like it when she's around."

"Zac, if she wants to play with you, you should let her," Diana told him.

"We did!" Zac exclaimed. "That's how all the trouble got started in the first place!"

"Trouble?" Diana repeated. "What do you mean, trouble??"

Zac shrugged. "I dunno. That's just how Bertha got all mad. We were playing cards in the tree house and then Bertha caught us, and started freaking out." He shrugged. "I don't get that old lady. She's weird."

Diana sighed. "Well, Zac, Amelia is Bertha's only relative left. Bertha is extremely overprotective of her granddaughter, you know."

"Ha! You could say that again!" Zac remarked.

"But Zac," Diana said seriously. "If you don't want to get Bertha angry, then try not to bother her or do anything that would get her angry. That's the best thing you can do."

Zac pouted. "Yeah, but it wasn't our fault. We didn't do anything. She just got all pissed at us for no reason."

"Zachary," Diana said in warning tone of voice. "I mean it. If it's so hard to leave Bertha alone, then just avoid her as much as you can."

Zac exchanged glances with Lucy. "With pleasure."

*/// Chapter 19 ///*
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