I visited your site again... Wanting to know what you've been to up... Hoping to find some changes that will tell me how you are these days. I was glad to see you've updated your homepage... But it doesn't really tell much... Until I saw your second page...
I read the poem... Read each line with so much empathy. I felt each word... each emotion that it wished to convey. Yes, I was able to relate to the poem... It felt like I was saying each line, finally putting into words what I've been feeling ever since and been keeping inside so no one else may know the misery that I am in...
But it wasn't my poem... It was selfish of me to think of it that way... It was your poem... your feelings... your story...
And I feel for you... I don't know what you have been through these past few months, but I felt your loneliness. I know a part of me wished you'd feel the same misery that I am in... But a larger part of me hoped that you will be okay... It hoped that you will have a second chance to make your life better...
And then I felt jealous... The poem tells me one thing... That you have moved on with your life... Found someone to make you go on with life... Yet, you lost her... and you're again left in darkness.
Reading through the poem made me wonder who caused this much pain to you... You don't deserve to be lonely...
I've downloaded that site 'cause I want to keep on reading the poem and share with your loneliness... That's when I saw what your background was... It wasn't that clear when I was browsing your page because I was more concerned reading the poem than the background you used... I opened the sg4.jpg file, and there I saw what wasn't clear to me a while ago...
I know that place... I've been there... Though I haven't really been there...
And now, a thousand and one question runs through my mind... What was the page all about? Were you trying to tell me something?
A glimpse of hope finally dawned on me... Were you still thinking of me then? Good or bad thoughts, it brought a smile to my face... Finally, a heartfelt smile that I haven't had for so long...
I wanted to hold you... I wanted to put my arms around you... I wanted to have your head leaned on my shoulders and whisper to your ears... Shhh... It's just a dream... In real life, I am still here... waiting... still waiting for you despite the many times I've said I will let you go...
Don't you find it so childish that we have made ourselves be contented with leaving indirect messages in the web, hoping that the message of love will come across… defying time and space? I find it cute, funny… and yes, very childish.
But then again... I may have read your homepage all wrong...
I might just be giving myself false hopes... again...
For all I know, that dream may have been a premonition of what is yet to come… That finally, you have accepted the fact that I am not around anymore… nor will I ever be… That you have given up waiting for OUR OWN time… That you have given up on me… on us.
I guess I will never ever know what the homepage is all about… what your real intentions were for doing that… We have put ourselves back into our own little cocoon, nursing our pains, suffering on our own, shutting the rest of the world… and us from each other. Painful as it is, we made ourselves feel safe inside our own cocoon.
How long will this go on? How long can we keep on pretending that we're gonna be okay being away from each other? When can we face what we have to face? When can we ever admit what we truly feel? When can truth be finally told? When can we set each other free?
I don't know... I guess I'll never really know, would I? But I will be here… I will always be here… Waiting for the answers… waiting for the right answers… Waiting for you…
"I'D
RATHER" Luther Vandross
I thought sometime alone
was what we really needed
you said this time would hurt more than it helps
but I couldn't see that
I thought it was the end
of a beautiful story
and so I left the one I loved at home to be alone (alone)
and I tried to find out if this one thing is true
that I'm nothing without you
I know better now
and I've had a change of heart
I'd rather have bad times with you, than good times with someone else
I'd rather be beside you in a storm, than safe and warm by myself
I'd rather have hard times together, than to have it easy apart
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart
And then I met someone
and thought she could replace you
we got a long just fine
we wasted time because she was not you
we had a lot of fun
though we knew we were faking
love was not impressed with our connection they were all lies, all lies
so I'm here cause I found this one thing is true
that I'm nothing without you
I know better now
and I've had a change of heart
I'd rather have bad times with you, than good times with someone else
I'd rather be beside you in a storm, than safe and warm by myself
I'd rather have hard times together, than to have it easy apart
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart
who holds my heart
I can't blame you if you turn away from me, like I've done you,
I can only prove the things I say with time, please be mine,
I'd rather have bad times with (please be mine) you,
than good times with someone else (I know)
I'd rather be beside you in a storm (anytime),
than safe and warm by myself (so sure baby)
I'd rather have hard times together,
than to have it easy apart
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart (my heart)
I'd rather have bad times with you (surely),
than good times with someone else (surely)
I'd rather be beside you in a storm (oh yeah),
than safe and warm by myself (all by myself)
I'd rather have hard times together,
than to have it easy apart (you know it)
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart,
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart
whoooo.....who holds my heart
I visited your site again... Wanting to know what you've been to up... Hoping to find some changes that will tell me how you are these days. I was glad to see you've updated your homepage... But it doesn't really tell much... Until I saw your second page...
