I was the youngest of two children born during the "dirty thirties". My parents migrated from Oklahoma to California looking for a better life and it wasn't long before my father left and my mother, my sister and myself were left high and dry. With money being tight and jobs scarce, my mother found it difficult to work and care for two young babies so we were placed in a boarding home while she worked in the plants packing parachutes for
the pilots of WWII. It was a difficult time for everyone and child
abuse was commonplace. We were locked in attic closets for days
without food or water, beaten black and blue, or forced to eat slop that
wasn't fit for human consumption. Eventually our mother removed us
from the home and placed me at my grandparents farm while my sister was
allowed to go live with her.
This
was when my life actually started. I was only 4 years old when I
met my grandparents for the first time and I immediately felt their love
engulf me like a warm blanket. I followed my grandfather
everywhere he went and eventually was taught to work in the fields.
Every evening my grandmother and I would sit at the dining room table
while my grandfather read from the bible. Life was good and I
finally felt safe from harm. The farm was located in the San
Joaquin Valley in central California and it was really the only home I
had ever known. Shortly after my 11th birthday my Grandfather died in a vehicle accident and, distraught with grief, my Grandmother went to her death bed where she
passed away exactly one year after my Grandfathers death.
My Grandparents were the two most important people in my
life and losing them left such an emptiness in my heart that I was sure I would never love anyone again the way I had
loved them. Their death was the hardest thing I had ever had to deal with at my young age.. They
were my world, my strength and they had given me the only love I had ever
known.
With no one to care for me I was forced, unwillingly to go live with my mother and step-father in Fresno, California.
Life with my them was unbearable
so at the young age of only 15 I eloped and married a young man
( a boy) I had gone to school with since the 1st grade.
A year later I gave birth to my first
child, a son, "Stephen". Sadly, I lost
him at the young age of only 4 months....
"SIDS" (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome
(be sure to visit my
"Causes" section)
Seven months later I gave birth to premature
twin boys who lived only 23 hours. I had not even reached my 17th birthday yet and I had already buried three children.
Depression became a way of life for me until a year later when I gave birth to my only daughter. Needless to say, I protected her with a vengeance and hovered over her night and day in fear
that I would lose her too. Fortunately she was a healthy, happy baby and we both bloomed as she grew. Before long I gave birth
to my son, David, who brought a new understanding of the word "patience" into my life. He was a difficult baby, but a
Wonderful gift.
I soon found myself divorced and on my own at the age of 18
with two small babies, no money, and no job experience to speak of. I knew it was going to be tough but
with strong "determination" and "tenacity" I kept going until I met and married my second
husband who, over the next two years, gave me two more beautiful sons to
love.
Making a long story short, my second marriage failed and
once again I was on my own, ...this time with 4 babies to care for!
I had migrated to So California by this time and finally found work that would provide the necessities of life for myself and my 4 children. I was like a "sponge", absorbing everything I could and I
submerged myself into learning the tasks of the accounting trade.
I was soon promoted to assistant bookkeeper and received a substantial raise which allowed me to enroll in night school where I
began taking advanced bookkeeping courses after
work.
Eventually, personal matters with my second husband began interfering with my life and my job, forcing me to leave So
California. Having made a lot of contacts I was given the chance to move to Nevada where I could begin a new life away from my
second husband.
Life settled down for me and the children and before long I met
my life's "Soul Mate", my third husband, Bob! This was a main turning point in my hectic life and even though I feared
another failed marriage, I hesitantly walked down the isle and became Mrs. Robert Starr",...........Wife, Mother, and Life
Partner!!
Bob and I have been happily married now for almost 37 years and I have never regretted marrying this wonderful man. He
raised my four children as if they were his own and I raised his only son, Bobby, as though he were mine.
Over the last 36 years I have successfully owned and operated 2 restaurants,
1 Ski Lodge and Dinner House, plus owned and operated my own accounting firm for 14 years. I have to say life turned out pretty darn good for an unwanted farm girl from California whom some would have said "didn't stand a chance.
There's an old saying that
"God takes care of those who take care of themselves" and I know this to be true. I could
have accepted defeat and watch my life pass me by but that's
not the type of person I am. Yes, I did some things I'm not proud of in order
to survive but looking back I have no major regrets. My experiences have made me the person I am today and my
friends think I'm pretty great. We all have choices to make in life
and it's up to each of us to do the best we can with what we're given.
Poverty is no excuse for ignorance or personal abuse of yourself or
others. The best way to succeed in life is not always the easiest or
the shortest path.......
Time, Perseverance and Determination are your best tools for succeeding. You can allow your life to rule you
or you can take charge and steer your life in the direction you choose. It's all up
to you.
In September of 1989 we buried our son, Bobby, after a terrible traffic accident. Just when I thought the pain
and heartbreak could not possibly get any worse, I found out I was
wrong,...... destiny was not done with me yet,........
In
1994 I was diagnosed with terminal liver disease
and crippling Rheumatoid Arthritis which forced me to quit working.
(Click
HERE to visit my FMS section and read all about it.) Being told by my doctors that I had 2 years at the most, my husband and I decided to travel the U.S. and really
enjoy the limited time we had left to spend together.
We
traveled south from the state of Washington, to southern California,
then on to Arizona, New Mexico, Colorado,
Wyoming, South and North Dakota, Michigan, Minnesota, Indiana,
Pennsylvania, New York, Washington DC, Virginia, and finally ended up here in Tennessee.
The traveling became too much for me so we've settled down again now and enjoy living on
our little "Farm" here
in Tennessee where we bought a small trailer home and began laying out our plans for our little world of animals
and
landscaping (which is pretty much completed now.)
Once again we were to suffer the loss of one of our children! In June 1999 we lost our son, David, in a tragic accident. The similarities of the two boys deaths are unbelievable and if you're curious, visit my page,
"In Loving Memory" to read all about their story.
It will amaze you!
Again, my "tenacity" has given me the strength to endure
each day and live life as best I can. I refuse to give up and let my sorrow or my illness get the best of me. Every day I endure severe pain in my heart, my soul,
my mind, and my body. I have to struggle to do even the smallest
tasks but I won't let that stop me . I have my vegetable garden, and enjoy canning the fruits of my labor. I love all my farm "pets" and visit them
daily and even manage to assist my husband in maintaining a beautiful yard and flower garden.
There is not a day that goes by where I do not thank God for
the time we were allowed to spend with our two sons. They were such a bright spot in our life and our love for them will never dwindle.
Once again, we all have choices to make,.....and my choice is to live life
to the fullest while I 'm still able,........ as a tribute to
the rest of my children! They may be grown but they still need
me, .... and I need them!
I spend a lot of time on my computer and have numerous web pages that I maintain. I am still learning the "html" codes and
trying to learn how to make beautiful graphics. I have always been
one who enjoys a challenge, ((GRIN)). Please visit my other pages and let me know what you think......I always
enjoy hearing from visitors and I promise to
answer any questions you may have (within reason of course),
lol..
PLEASE!
Visit my "Causes" section by clicking on
the "Have A Heart banner" and feel free to join in the
many battles to make this
world a better place."
"If you have any comments or questions please feel free to email me.
1998, 1999, 2000