DL's Rude Emphasis on Words (12/4/2000)

You have all heard this, but I don't think anyone has ever posted on the topic.
Laura has a very rude and annoying habit of emphasizing certain words when she
asks a question which implies something very rude to her caller. Here are the
questions, and the word emphasized is in "quotes." You should recognize these

DL: That's fine, what can I help you with "TODAY?"
Implication: The details you are giving me don't add anything to your
question. You are adding information that is relevant to another topic, and
another day.

DL: What can "I" help you with?
Implication: The question you have isn't something I can help you with, maybe
someone else can. Ask me a different question.

DL: What is your question "FOR ME?"
Implication:You have confused me so thoroughly that I am assuming you thought
you were speaking to someone else. Ask a different question.
(P.S. She makes such a point of saying "what is your question FOR me", yet
people ALWAYS say, "My question TO you is..." which I like because it seems to
make her stew for a few seconds.)

I know there are more I just can't think of any right now. Please let me know
if my implications are accurate, or feel free to add if I forgot any.

Now go alienate the whole world!

Scott gets his wish

Doctor Laura is my favorite radio bitch.

Listening to her is like scratching an itch!

I find myself wondering, is she a saint, or a total fraud?

But when she humiliates her callers, I feel like I want to applaud.

Every day she preaches, teaches and nags against moral decay,

Yet she will turn around and contradict herself many times, every day!

The holy sacrament of intercourse should not be made fun of, should it?

Yet every day, Laura refers to sex as "screwing" or "...a warm place to PUT IT!"

The Good Doctor calls pornography one of the greatest evils society has seen yet,

But her own shockingly hairy pussy is virtually ALL OVER the Internet!

On a daily basis, she claims that above all, she is a "children's advocate,"

But if those same kids hear her using words like "slut," "whore," and "bitch," she simply doesn't give a shit!

In Laura's wacky world, all men are pedophiles, and rapists as well,

She adores children, but the second they turn 18 they can all go to HELL!

She says that religion is important, and that she is a "serious Jew,"

Yet she uses her show to make money by humiliating people just like you!

Laura is a brilliant entertainer, she has intrigued our nation,

By saturating the airwaves with topics like pedophilia, porno, and ejaculation!

She screeches like a demon, spewing forth her anger and hate,

Man, you don't wanna be near her if she hears about two men that want to mate!

On the topic of homos, she LOATHES them! They are at the bottom of her list!

When they express themselves sexually, she gets totally PISSED!

And single moms? They should just raise their kids; they deserve no lovin,'

If Laura had her way, they'd all be shoved into a Nazi oven!

Family harmony, says Laura, is a must if you plan to get into Heaven,

But she hasn't spoken to, or contacted her own parents since 1987!

Sex is evil! So is drinking, or being a little bit fat!

Can you imagine trying to live in a world like that?

In the end, you can't help but love to hate her,

Whether you are a priest, Rabbi or fornicator.

We all find her offensive, regardless of if we are manual laborers, or scholars.

But remember, she's the one sitting on 70 million dollars!

OK Gang. This is my peace offering. I am sorry for being a troll, and I am sorry for pissing Kelly off sometime ago. My status as a member of this group has never been the same. I feel bad about that. I don't want to be hated. My only goal is to make fun of Laura and bring some humor to this group. I have been posting here for over 2 years. I want to be a respected and accepted member of this group. I want people to read and respond to my posts, like they used to. I want to make Cyn's ARTDL webpage, for God's sake. I spent over 1/2 hour writing this poem for you. If you liked it, please respond and say so, there is much more where this came from. But I need your support. I need you to tell the other members of the group that you liked it, and/or appreciate my sense of humor. If you all post replies asking me to leave, I will do so.

My fate is in your hands.

Sincerely, GOSMG (Scott in Santa Barbara)