eve does the Pope... (not Charlie, that other guy)


Gentitals on Hold wrote, re: Laura's statement on homosexuality:

>It's the shallowest apology possible, to still technically call it an apology.

eve replied:

She should send it to the Pope as a cribsheet;

"In the two thousand year, very private dialogue concerning Our religious beliefs about homosexuality, many things have been said. Some are true; the College of Cardinals did indeed high five each other after watching two men kiss on "thirty something" and on Fat Tuesday everyone has a chance to wear the Papal Ring for a blessed game of Kiss It. Many, unfortunately, are not. We do not condemn homosexuals--we hate the sin every time but love the sinner. But one inviolate truth is that We never intended to hurt anyone (excepting Brother Rudolfo who mercifully, after much guidance from Monsigneur Michael, finally accepted his very special calling) or contribute in any way to an atmosphere of hate or intolerance.

Regrettably, some of the words the Supreme Pontiffs have used have hurt some people (who knew?) and We are sorry for that. Throughout history, words that We have used in a religious context have been perceived as some kind of "judgement". (?) They were not meant to characterize homosexual individuals or encourage others to disparage homosexuals, Jews, women, heretics, infidels, members of alternative "religions" or to incite acts of inquisition, torture, witch burning, genocide, the buggering of young children, the conversion & destruction of native peoples, the murder of abortion providers, The Crusades, the degradation of women and suchlike. (We do *not* accept responsibility for the Jesuits who think they're all that and a bag of chips and thus lie well beyond Our Papal Reach.)

I regularly remind the faithful that We, a white man in a designer frock and matching hat, are made in God's image and therefore we should treat one another with love and kindness, irrespective of one's faith, so as not to sully Our Holy Clothing.

I will continue to discuss on radio, television and in my Papal bathtub a variety of pressing moral and ethical issues facing our society; abortion, the death penalty, the sanctity of marriage, birth control and most importantly, why Brother Rudolfo thinks I should wax My Holy Ass.

I remain committed to doing this in an environment free from hate, intolerance and small, biting animals and with a deep respect for freedom of speech. I can only hope others will share this commitment.

Peace, Pope John Paul ll