|(as seen in
the New York Times... congratulations, Maddi!)
- Every time Dr. Laura says "religion"
take a drink.
- Every time Dr. Laura mentions "Deryk"
take a drink, EXCEPT if she also says bunchkin
within 15 seconds. If you drink, first person to
call out "bunchkin" gets next 2 drinks
paid for by the "bunchkin."
- If Dr. Laura gets a call from someone of a
religion she isn't familiar with, take a drink if
she makes ANY assumptions about it. Take TWO
drinks she if makes a wrong assumption about a
religion she claims to be familiar with (Judaism,
Catholicism, and Protestantism, as well as
- Take a drink if a caller identifies as atheist
AND Dr. Laura starts interrupting before caller
can explain entire problem. But, if she doesn't
interrupt and you drink, you've been
"excommunicated." You have to leave the
table for a commercial break of seven minutes.
- Take a drink if Dr. Laura insults caller
- If Dr. Laura makes general insult toward a group,
take a drink and then do appropriate action for
- Feminists: Shout "Equality never,
baby!" and mime lifting your skirt.
- Atheists: Shout "I believe,
baby!" and genuflect.
- Educators: Shout "A-B-C-D-E-F-G,
Hooked On Phonics is all I need!"
and pretend to write on a blackboard.
- Gays: Shout "We're here, you're
queer, I wish you'd go away!" and
make triangle with hands.
- Journalists: Shout "First Amendment,
First Schmamendment!" and pretend to
throw a newspaper.
- Talk show hosts: Shout "But you are
one, baby" and spin finger in a
circle near your head.
- If you don't do the phrase and action for
the group and you did drink, then someone
has to call "1-800 Dr. Laura!"
and you have to do a show identification:
"I'm Dr. Laura Schlessinger, 1-800
Doctor Laura, D-R-L-A-U-R-A"
- Any mention of Lew, you must take two drinks.
- Any mention of Laura's mother or sister, three
- Any mention of Lew's kids (this has never
happened), four drinks and shout
- You get three tries to do a required phrase. If
you cannot do it, someone shouts "You're a
drunken bum!" and you're out of the game.
But you can re-enter the game after a
"commericial break" (on someone else)
is completed IF you stand up and say "Dan
Mandis engineers,produces,Carolyn Holt screens
your calls, Ernestia O'Steen does everyone and
everything else, and I am my kids' mom." BUT
you can be forced to wait a round if someone then
shouts "Where's Larry Metzler now?"
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