Buttplugs?? Did you say Buttplugs?
No, Mrs. Bishop said "Buttplug", and we ran with it. For a really, really long time. A long time. Sadly, you rarely hear a buttplug reference nowadays, but the memories of the Legendary Buttplug thread will always have a special place in my ...er, heart.
The post that started it all...
Mrs. Bishop said "buttplug" today...I was laughing so hard, especially when she said she didn't know what it was....yeah, I bet she didn't!
Martha
To read the Buttplug thread in it's entirity, click here.
Which inspired a veritable festival of buttplug references, such as:
Buttplugs at the Movies...
Gee Claire, perhaps we should put our respective talents together and get to work on a few screenplays. We could make a killing! What do you think?
"Buttplugs on a Train"
"The 39 Buttplugs" or maybe
"The Buttplug Who Knew Too Much"
and of course the most obvious "The Rear Buttplug"
Fame awaits! ~Lord dk the Courteous
Even Disney movies...
In a Disney mood:
Mary Popsin (the Buttplug)
The Love Plug
The Buttplug King
The Little Buttplug
That Darn Buttplug
The Sound of Buttplugs
Snow White and the Seven Buttplugs
The Lady and the Buttplug
101 Buttplugs Beauty and the Buttplug
Honey, I Shrunk the Buttplug
Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Buttplug
Hell Toupee
(More movies. Oh, yeah. Much, much more movies.)
Buttplugs on TV...
"The Wackiest Buttplug In the Army"
"Gilligan's Buttplug"
"The Beverly Buttplugs"
"Perry Buttplug"
"Saturday Night Buttplugs"
"Battlestar Buttplug"
"Star Trek: Deep Buttplug 9"
"The Buttplug Game"
"I Was A Buttplug for the FBI"
"The Buttplug Zone"
"Starsky and Buttplug"
"222 Buttplugs"
"My Favorite Buttplug"
"Buttplugged!"
"Hogan's Buttplugs"
"Chico and the Buttplug"
"All in the Buttplug"
I gotta quit now, I'm running low on oxygen. Isn't it delightful the hilarious images we can conjure now that dear Laura has moved this phrase into the mainstream? What would we do without her?
Neutrodyne
Music...
"Sweet Home, Buttplug"
Stairway to Buttplug"
"Teenage Buttplug"
"Lust for Buttplug"
"Someone to Buttplug Over Me"
"Over the Buttplug"
"West End Buttplugs"
"The Red & The Buttplugs"
"Lucretia, My Buttplug"
And some of my favorite albums:
Cradle of Filth -Cruelty & the Buttplug Bloodthorn -In the Shadow of Your Black Buttplug
Liz Phair -Exit to Buttplugville
Led Zeppelin -Buttplug I
Davie Bowie -Ziggy & The Buttplugs From Mars
Emperor -Anthems to the Welkins of Buttplugs
Venom - Black Buttplugs
Martha
and Rock Groups...
Deryk and the Buttplugs
and catchy sayings...
Now go take on the buttplug
Now Go Do the Right Buttplug
Cheers, Dr. John
Musicals...
Then for some reason I thought of Ethel Merman, which made me think of musicals:
Grease!
Hello, Buttplug!
Annie Get Your Buttplug
Guys and Buttplugs
The Buttplug and I
Bye Bye Buttplug
A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Buttplug
Little Shop of Buttplugs
Man of La Buttplug
Once Upon a Buttplug
Seven Brides for Seven Buttplugs
Hell Toupee
Sports...
It's creeping in everywhere!
Sports: "He's not very tall, but he's the buttplug of the team!"
"There goes Jerry Rice in a Buttplug pattern across the middle..."
"Hl I'm Jim Buttplug and I'm going to talk to Pete Rose today!"
"That running back is really built like a buttplug!"
"Taking the floor is Dennis Rodman...." (The unspoken Buttplug reference)
Neutrodyne
Poetry...
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with buttplugs.
There was a young fellow named Doug,
who sat on his little brown jug,
they removed from his ass,
thirty pieces of glass,
but they never did find that plug.
Lawrence
waxing poetic
Of all the great Buttplug poets, you are my all time favorite.
That was really...moving.
Cyn
The Buttplug thread inspired some thought provoking questions...
If this goes on much longer I'm going to have to break down and ask what these dubiously named articles in fact are. ~Fred
I don't know either, Fred. It's just one of those words that has a friendly feel to it and sounds funny anywhere you insert it. The word, that is.
Neutrodyne
Definitely just the word, I think.
It's like that old saying, if you don't know what a butt plug is, you'll never know....
Martha
It became more than a thread; it was a waay of life...
Now it's impossible for me to start my day without checking the Buttplug Thread for new messages.
It's becoming a real pain in the ass. (ba dum bum CHING!)
Cyn
Just when I thought this buttplug thing was coming to an end...
Cyn introduces the takeout Chinese buttplug.
Lawrence
Well, of course you have to take it out, once in a while, you can't just walk around all day with a ....
oh, that's not what you meant...
nevermind.
~Cyn
You mean in 2 hours I'll be rooting around looking for another buttplug post?
Neutrodyne
Yep, and the truly sick and wonderful thing is...there'll be one!
~ Cyn
Somehow, it slipped out, and Lew Ain't Got Much To Do even heard about it
I think I heard this on the radio last night:
Uncle Lew's Genuine Fuckling Brand(R) Buttplugs! When only the best will do, Lew Ain't Got Much To Do Industries has the premium buttplug you've been looking for! Genuine Fuckling Brand(R) Buttplugs succeed where other buttplugs fail. Thanks to exhaustive research at Lew Ain't Got Much To Do Industries, famous scientist "Doctor" Laura Schlessinger has had the opportunity to discover miracle ingredient X-47 which gives the Genuine Fuckling Brand(R) Buttplug it's amazing properties. No more embarassing odors, no more binding, no more wrinkles thanks to "Doctor" Laura's miracle space age creation, X-47! Don't be fooled by shoddy substitutes, insist on Genuine Fuckling Brand(R) Buttplugs at all times! They are available at higher class locations across the country. For your convenience, Genuine Fuckling Brand(R) Buttplugs come in fourteen designer colors, and are available in the Sex Pack, the Six Pack and the economy sized Shack Pack. Don't forget to to say ""Doctor" Laura sent me!" when you ask for Genuine Fuckling Brand(R) Buttplugs! (Or something like that).
Neutrodyne
But it didn't stop there. Oh, no. Not even close. The Buttplug references were inserted into every orif-- thread...
Real glad nobody on the buttplug thread remembered "Soylent Green" was a movie.
Soylent Green
Doing my best Charlton Heston impression:
Soylent Green is BBBuuuutttt Plluuuuggs!!!
Brother Enigma
BUTT PLUGS ARE MADE OF PEOPLE......PEOPLE!!!!!!!
Rich
Home decor...
Glad to oblige, Tina. Why do you chicks always talk about home decor ?
Lawrence -who's getting the itch for a buttplug post...
cuz we dont wanna talk about butt plugs
Tina
Oooooh, just think of it, a whole room done entirely in buttplugs...
It would be to DIE for!
Cyn
You couldn't have company over, they'd be bouncing off the walls.
Lawrence.
On the flip-side, they'd be afraid to sit down.
Cyn
It even made one of our ill-fated cascades...
>>>>> >> > Do fish have eyelids?
> >> >> >> Do shrimp whistle?
>> >> >Do you want fries with that?
>> >> Is this going to be on the test?
> > >Pardon me, is this your buttplug?
> Where did you get that?
And for some reason, a "Why did the chicken cross the road" thread. (Why did we have a chicken that crossed the road thread? To make buttplug references there)
Q: Why did the buttplug cross the road?
A: It was stapled to the chicken.
Neutrodyne
How about this;
Q: Why did the buttplug cross the road?
A: Cause all the assholes were over there.
Lawrence liven le vie de buttplug loco
How about,
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: It was fleeing from the inevitable resurgence of THE BUTTPLUG THREAD THAT WOULD NOT DIE! (insert maniacal laughter here)
Cyn
For some of us, it was hard to let go... we had a problem
Cyn does, she's got some... compulsion, some obsession, some...... deep-seated desire to talk about buttplugs.
Lawrence who may have a problem himself
I'm thinking of starting a whole new ng. It's becoming an embarr-ass-ment,as well a a fixation. (I may have to go to the emergancy room)
Cyn
The Road to Recovery...
I've already begun treatment, Bushman but the Doctor says I shouldn't try to quit all at once as I might start fixating on something else. Please be patient with me as I try to wean myself off of the buttplug references and attempt to resume my previously normal life.
Lawrence trying to deal with it...
I'm in trouble....
Martha getting her lawyers ready in case Lawrence is going to sue me for damages for starting this whole butt plug thing in the first place.
Not to worry, Martha. I spoke to a couple of Lawyers already but they were not willing to take the case; everytime I told my story I got the bum's rush...
It's almost as though buttplugs are the kryptonite of the legal profession.
Lawrence
... rear shields to full power...
And I think you should be commended for your brave struggle and I know you will succeed. If any unwanted thoughts occur though, don't try to hold them in. Post them, and we can share your pain. Don't let it keep you bound up.
Bushman
Bushman, I know you mean well. But, you are known in the recovery business as an *Enabler* and I must shun you as a bad influence... (I almost said I would turn my back on you; but that might not be prudent.)
Lawrence -standing firm with my back to the wall...
Very well, Lawrence, but you should know that the *Enabler* comes in two models and, sa-a-a-ay, is that a five dollar bill near your foot?
Bushman Could be a bumpy ending......
The End?? Let's hope not...