This is by no means his best, but it really is too hard to pick one, so just in case you were doubting his abilities...

Dr. Charlie wrote:

I've decided what I want for my appeasement. When you returned I rejoiced and heaped praise on you. Since then some people have questioned whether you deserved that praise.

Axel replied:

Lots of 'em, in fact.

This embarrasses me personally and tarnishes my PONTIFICAL REPUTATION.

I know, I know.

Therefore, I want yout to do WHATEVER IT TAKES to show these people the error of their ways--I'm thinking of that cur August, georgann you can forget about because she's clearly around the bend to use a CLINICAL term--and make them share my high regard for you.


That August is really grumpy, that's for sure, and he's not the only one, but for Christ's sweet sake people, I've only been working like, ALL THE FUCKING TIME, except for Monday, when I was busy undoing the damage of stripping the FUCKING THREADS in a sparkplug hole, so instead of relaxing a little and saving a florin or too I ended up getting super pissed, bloody, greasy, and spending EIGHTY-SIX DOLLARS for sparkplugs, and all along I've been flying back and forth to Pennsylvania about a million times, to deal with my father croaking and its aftermath, at a cost of about a SMALL FUCKING FORTUNE, not that that's important, and then I have to see dipshits driving around in pickups with "We Don't Do 9-11 (picture of a pistol)" bumper stickers on my way to Walgreens to get a fucking NOSEHAIR TRIMMER, because the old one bought the farm keeping ahead of the fucking kudzu egressing my nostriles, and tonight instead of watching Ted Koppell, or going out, or SOMETHING, I gotta proof art for some greentoothed shitkicker who literally hasn't brushed his teeth in so fucking long that he had to get an *emergency* root canal this afternoon, and in between all that there's a bunch of whiny fucks in a **Doctor Laura** newsgroup bellyaching about not being entertained, and I'm supposed to give a shit??? I mean, how pathetic is that, and they're bitching about ME??

Well, I'm not here to put on a GODDAM puppet show for you worthless swine, so why don't you just shut the fuck up and leave Charlie alone or I swear I'm going to start posting binaries of my DICK every goddamed day and twice or maybe even thrice on Sundays to spite the thumpers, until every last one of you PLONKS me, unless you like it, in which case I'll stop, and you can still PLONK me.



The really good stuff will appear here, if he ever does post those Dick pix.