Copyright 2000, 2001
    Terry Washington aka Phoenixx
    1048 W Winona 3E
    Chicago IL 60640-3125
    773-561-0737
    HTTP://members.tripod.com/~mdars/experiences/ter.htm
    HTTP://www.angelfire.com/journal/archer/index.html
    phoenixx100@hotmail.com

    This file was last updated on Wednesday, April 11th, 2001 at 2:17pm.

    [continued from the file TER3.TXT]

--- stem.log
    Think about it
    Tue Aug 29 2000

    Another long period of time has passed, where I haven't produced any 
    LOG files.  As I have said before, sometimes I just don't feel like 
    keeping up with writing about my perceptions, experiences and 
    opinions, because it kind of wears on my nerves after a while.

    Various things have happened, but really, I pretty much have decided 
    to leave out most of the details of my personal life (in these files) 
    from now on, because I've been keeping that data in another series of 
    documents.

    I have gotten a better hold on what I was thinking about (a month or 
    so ago), regarding the very peculiar spiritual characteristics that 
    many women exhibit, and what I believe is indicated by this.  I could 
    take the time to go into agonizing detail, but I won't, because I have 
    another of my pounding headaches (this one isn't really all that bad, 
    but still...), so I'll just gloss over it for now.

    This is a topic that really deserves a thorough treatment, because of 
    (what I believe is, at least) the great importance of these issues.  
    Maybe I'll take a few minutes to try and think about these matters 
    some more.

    Well, if I just go ahead and write what's on my mind right now, it 
    won't do these concepts justice, and I might even seem as though I 
    don't know exactly what I'm talking about (and I feel strongly that I 
    do).  Perhaps it would be better to wait until I've thought all of 
    this through some more, before writing any more about it.

--- anime.log
    A handful of answers
    Sun Sep 10 2000

    You know, I was just inspired to write down some particularly 
    intriguing thoughts that were just running through my mind a few 
    moments ago, but now that I have actually fired up the text editor, 
    they have utterly vanished.  I am left with a range of thoughts that 
    seem to be largely trivial.  Still, they are worthy to be recorded, I 
    think...

    Man, people that never go scrounging through big city dumpsters just 
    don't know what amazing stuff can be found!  The list of excellent 
    items that I have harvested from the filthy bins over the years, is 
    very long.  I cannot help but thank God for leading me in the right 
    directions, and allowing me to discover such a wonderful bounty of 
    abandoned treasures.

    I really wish that I could recall exactly what I was originally 
    thinking of.  I don't usually have problems with my short-term memory 
    (heh), and it aggravates me when my thoughts just dissipate without 
    warning.  Urg.

    I sincerely believe that nothing truly good can be done in human 
    affairs, without the help of God.  Even though there is mounting 
    opposition to Christianity here in America (and in the West in 
    general), it seems obvious to me that the power of God's will directed 
    through the actions of true believers is still powerfully in effect.

    Paradoxically, I often see very definite manifestations of the Spirit 
    of God in some very immoral people and situations, as well as in 
    people that aren't actual Christians.  This is very encouraging to me, 
    because I see that God doesn't restrict His movements exclusively 
    within the body of Christ.  I feel that it is possible that a great 
    many people that do not now consider themselves to be Christians will 
    eventually be saved and delivered into the Lord's Kingdom.  I could 
    attempt to explain in detail why exactly I feel that this is so, but I 
    am trying to avoid being tedious.  Much of my writing is maddeningly 
    tedious, and it annoys me.

    Now I remember.  This is a very old set of thoughts that I have had 
    over the years, relating to the fact that there currently isn't really 
    (and never has been) a lot of Asian influence in the popular music 
    industry.  I'm sure that I have already written about this in other 
    files, but I think that it bears repeating, especially because I never 
    have elaborated on why I feel that this is an unfortunate reality.

    Now, before I go on, i want to say a few things about the Western 
    tendency to over-romanticize certain aspects of various Eastern 
    cultures.  Many of us over here would like to believe that there are 
    'better' people and cultures existent elsewhere on the planet, and 
    invariably, our imaginations usually settle on some of the Asiatic 
    cultural groups and civilizations.

    Many of us sense a deep shame and disaffection with the underlying 
    framework of American and Western culture.  The disassociation that 
    often results from these negative feelings is what creates the 
    illusion of superiority of some of the Asiatic cultures.  It's a funny 
    thing too, because it seems as thought the situation is somewhat 
    mirrored within many of the Asiatic cultures.  Many of them seem to 
    believe that we are are somehow 'superior' to them.

    For instance...  I find evidence of this in many different areas - 
    especially notable is the fact that almost all of the Japanese anime 
    programs seem to depict (nearly) exclusively Caucasoid races of 
    people, with no discernible Asian features.  No broad faces, slanted 
    eyes or tinged skin hues are presented.  This doesn't exactly disturb 
    me, but it seems to be indicative of a kind of 'Western worship' that 
    I find to be extremely disagreeable.

    As a Western person myself, I know that there are many things that are 
    'wrong' with our cultures, and it makes me feel queasy to realize that 
    some of the Eastern people seem to be utterly deceived by the 
    attractive physical front of Western civilization.  I like myself, our 
    civilization, and what we have been able to accomplish here over the 
    centuries, but I certainly do not wish to be worshipped in any way.

    It seems somewhat insulting to me that some of the Asiatic people 
    would focus so intently on Western biological forms and cultural 
    conventions, to the exclusion of the Asiatic people, their heritage, 
    and their unique personality traits and physical features.  This 
    saddens me, because it makes me feel that the cultures that I am 
    'calling on the carpet' about this don't have sufficient regard for 
    themselves and their background.

    Perhaps it has something to do with the bombing of Hiroshima and 
    Nagasaki.  Maybe that is why some of the Japanese seem to exalt 
    American and Western culture.  I really don't know.  I wish that 
    they'd include some Asiatic (and other cultural groups) racial forms 
    in their cartoons.  This has been circulating in my subconscious mind 
    for a very long time.  I'm glad that I remembered it.

--- velvet.log
    It's a secret
    Mon Sep 18 2000

    There are many issues that I have been contemplating over the past few 
    months.  I have had some fairly serious problems with despair over the 
    sorry condition of my personal life, but I've also (as usual) been 
    doing even more internal hand-wringing over what I consider to be some 
    incredibly sad, deeply entrenched societal problems.

    As I have mentioned in other files, I know that the abstract dynamics 
    of most of the social ills that I am so disturbed about, aren't really 
    anything 'new on the scene,' but, I remain convinced that those same 
    old wicked traditions, in combination with some of the new 
    technological paradigms of this age, are developing in directions that 
    ultimately will result in far greater forms of darkness than have ever 
    before been manifested in this current age.

    Convincing people of this isn't easy, for there appears to be a great 
    ignorance, regarding some of the more fantastic aspects of recent 
    technological developments.  Even when the very best information is 
    readily available to anyone that wants to do the research, once the 
    proper evidence has been accumulated, I believe that many folks choose 
    to ignore the negative implications, rather than submit themselves to 
    the heavy shock of consciously acknowledging what has been happening, 
    and what probably lies further along down the road.

    I sincerely believe, that in the foreseeable future, that we will 
    quite literally have a completely fascist state here, with a very 
    small, elite group of people wielding an incredible degree of 
    psycho-spiritual control over the largely unaware masses.  I am 
    certain that this is a very real, very ugly possibility, and it has 
    bothered me immensely to consider this as constantly as I have been.

    True, I am not alone in my worries - there are a great many other 
    people that are concerned about these (and other) possibilities; but 
    largely, the voices of those of us that are trying to bring about a 
    more general awareness of these matters have been ignored or squelched 
    and/or marginalized in various ways.

    That there needs to be serious debate about such issues seems 
    extremely obvious to me, because of some of the incredibly odd 
    experiences that I've had over the past decade, some of which, I 
    believe, possibly may have involved some degree of psychotronic 
    manipulation.  I can't say for sure, but it seems to be likely, 
    because of the involuntary nature of some of what I believe has been 
    imposed upon me.  If I, and the others that have suffered through 
    similar ordeals, are correct in our estimation re these horrid 
    'situations' - that some or all of them have been artificially 
    generated using advanced particle beam technologies, well then, you 
    can best believe that these are extremely important issues, that very 
    badly need to be brought to light, and openly discussed throughout the 
    general media.

    If this sinister technology truly exists (and I certainly believe that 
    it does), the public needs to know about it, otherwise the chance of 
    that heavy-duty fascist state developing is very good.  If the reality 
    of the existence of psychotronic technology, and the implications of 
    its misuse, aren't made crystal clear, I am certain that such power 
    will ultimately be used to further the inhuman purposes of the vilest 
    enemies of God.

    One very dismaying thing to consider, is the possibility that some of 
    the current abusers of the technology may actually fancy themselves to 
    somehow be the agents of God.  They may actually believe that these 
    horribly manipulative scenarios that they are imposing upon victims 
    such as myself are somehow consonant with the will of the Lord.  I do 
    not believe that God is willing these sickening evils to be 
    perpetrated upon anyone.  I am almost completely sure that Satan and 
    his family are behind what has been being directed by the psychotronic 
    technology war criminals.  Their totalitarian conspiracy must end, or 
    there will be far greater evils facing the true people of God in the 
    very near future.

    I believe that many true Christians are literally being 'delivered up 
    to affliction' - blatantly martyred, via this powerful new technology.  
    The ironic thing about it, is that many of the people that are being 
    harmed by these new weapons systems, know practically nothing, in a 
    technical sense, about what is happening to them.  We are told in the 
    Bible, that everyone that refuses to worship the Beast and his image, 
    will be put to death.  That appears to be what is beginning to happen, 
    although very covertly, at first.

    It's hard to be objective about any of this, having been personally 
    subjected to such an extremely terrible ordeal (that I believe, at 
    times, has involved a significant degree of psychotronic manipulation) 
    over the past five or so years.  I am utterly angry about what has 
    happened to me, and the fact that so few people seem to realize the 
    great evil and injustice of it.  Being irate has mostly been a waste 
    of energy for me, and it has only seemed to increase the mirth of they 
    that are cognizant of my experience.

    Again, as I have also mentioned in other files, I also find that many 
    aspects of this evil ordeal of mine to be very funny, hilarious even.  
    But my awareness of the humorous side of all of this doesn't at all 
    decrease my awareness of the serious issues.  That this particular 
    'happening' is so endlessly and infernally 'funny' should be a cause 
    of very great concern for all thinking people.  Why is it that so few 
    folks seem to be able to get to the marrow of these sinister 
    manipulations?

    If I am correct about these disgusting, artificially 
    (psychotronically) imposed 'vvents' being somehow connected with the 
    prophesied endtime 'Mark of the Beast' and 'Mystery Babylon' paradigms 
    discussed in Revelation, doesn't it seem right for everyone to 
    carefully consider these matters?

    If the 'Beast' and his minions are eventually going to 'mark' the 
    entire world, as we are told in Revelation, doesn't it make sense for 
    those of us that consider ourselves to be true Christians to think 
    about some kind of strategy for preventing such evils from germinating 
    and spreading across the globe?

    We are told that all people that accept the Mark of the Beast are 
    going to be eternally destroyed, along with Satan and his angels and 
    demons, at the end of Christ's millennial rule.  I not only believe 
    that this is so - I actually have personal knowledge of the truth of 
    it.  I also know that if it weren't for the mercy of God, provided for 
    me through Jesus Christ, that there is a very good chance that I would 
    be headed towards eternal destruction myself.  It really is endlessly 
    disturbing to me that so few people seem to fully recognize the 
    significance of 'bowing' to Satan and his representatives.

    In the New Testament, a parable is put forth that analogizes the work 
    of the Lord, and also that of Satan, as farmers sowing seed in the 
    field of the Earth.  I have mentioned this somewhere before, I think, 
    but it bears repeating.  One crop is sown by the devil, and the other 
    by the Lord; both of them grow together throughout the course of 
    history.  The 'bad seeds' are described as tares, which are to be 
    bundled together at the end of the age, and then cast together into a 
    fiery furnace.  The good seeds are the 'wheat,' which is ultimately 
    gathered into what is called the Lord's 'barn.'  I believe that these 
    simple analogies are extremely important to keep in mind.

    The devil is no joke, and neither is the Lord, of course.  The devil's 
    people are going to be literally destroyed - eternally.  There is 
    nothing 'cool' about them, and where they are going.  God's people 
    really are going to inherit eternal life and joy beyond description.  
    I know these things to be absolutely true.  The allegiances that we 
    make right now, will have great bearing on our eternal fate.

--- pandora.log
    As simple as that
    Mon Oct 2 2000

    There have been many times over the years when I have felt that it 
    would be good to write about my personal interpretations of various 
    different unusual spiritual topics.  In fact, I have often felt 
    strongly compelled to do so, but oddly, many times when I was ready to 
    begin writing, another feeling would arrive, one that indicated that 
    it might not be a good idea to continue.  This has continually 
    happened to me, often in instances when I felt highly clear-minded and 
    'inspired.'

    There are two basic theories that I have about why this has been so.  
    On the one hand, it might be possible that some of what I never wrote 
    about was genuinely worth scrawling out for others to consider; on the 
    other hand, maybe some of what I've refrained from recording is 
    actually erroneous to some degree.  I am constantly wondering about 
    whether or not my perceptions are correct or incorrect.

    As I've mentioned many times in the past, we are warned in the New 
    Testament about the powerful deceptions that are to prevail in the 
    latter days.  After all of the extremely bizarre experiences I've been 
    through, I feel very strongly that there indeed are many forces of 
    deception at work at this time.  Of course, such forces have been at 
    play all throughout history, but it seems that a great amplification 
    of error has been taking place in recent times.

    As worried as I am about being wrong about some of the interpretations 
    that I have been trying to put forth, I feel that it is better to risk 
    being somewhat in error, than to never outline my speculations on 
    certain aspects of Biblical prophecy.  Much of what I have been 
    considering has never been written down, for many reasons.  I am going 
    to try and unload as much of it as possible over the next few weeks.

    Some of my personal theories are unique, I believe, although aspects 
    of them can be found in the writings and statements of other Christian 
    theorists.  Really, I think many people internally wonder about many 
    of the issues that I'd like to cover, but things like political 
    correctness prevent them from doing so.  Also, it's hard to write 
    about some of these matters objectively, which is essential, when 
    attempting to reach the widest audience of thinkers, from what I know.  
    Personal emotionalism can severely interfere with important analytical 
    procedures.

    Also, as grandiose as it might seem to many people, I have had long 
    sequences of coincidences, synchronicities, serendipities, etcetera, 
    over the course of the past ten or so years, that have led me to 
    believe that there may be some degree of urgency and importance to 
    conveying (at least some of) what I have gone through over the past 
    decade, and what I feel it may mean.  But again, I am very concerned 
    about whether or not I have been misled in certain regards, because I 
    sincerely do not wish to be responsible for misleading the minds and 
    souls of others.

    So, I must humbly request that the reader carefully consider the 
    entirety of what I have produced, and to ask God about the validity of 
    what is contained within these writings.  Frankly, I honestly believe 
    that I was being heavily influenced by evil spiritual forces during 
    the construction of parts of my book of poetry (Odhinn Voodoo Buddha).  
    Also, it might be enlightening for the reader to learn that more than 
    half of that book was written during the six-month period between my 
    first encounter with the two people that poisoned me, and my later 
    realization of the fact that I had 'missing time' to account for.  
    Many of the internal spiritual experiences that I had during that time 
    were extremely unusual, involving what seemed to be an 
    extraterrestrial element, and a lot of powerful spiritual impressions.  
    It is truly very strange to consider all of that in retrospect, 
    because, again, I had no idea at all about what those Mystery Babylon 
    people had done to me.  Really, I still don't, exactly.

    Anyhow, I feel that it is important for me to chronicle these matters, 
    so that there will be as little confusion as possible in the minds of 
    people that may peruse these documents in the future.  It's very 
    tedious, writing about this stuff.  But it may be important, 
    ultimately.  There have been times when I have felt that God really is 
    communicating with me, but I am loathe to convey some of what I feel 
    has been transmitted to me.  One thing that I don't mind mentioning, 
    is that not long ago, I felt that the Lord was trying to tell me that 
    what He wants me to do is almost impossible.

    An empirical attempt at explaining what I feel that might be is too 
    much for me to begin right now, but I'm sure that a few people might 
    already 'get it.'  At the risk of sounding self-important, I feel that 
    the Lord might want me to help Him explain to people that will listen, 
    exactly why He is going to eventually levy such heavy-duty destruction 
    upon the world.  It has everything to do with our perpetuation of 
    these evil systems of 'tradition,' which have everything to do 
    intercourse between normal human and demonic souls.

    Those traditions, which are found in all cultures in various forms, 
    are used to effect spiritual unions between evil spirits and mankind.  
    The evil spirits cannot fully interact in human affairs, unless the 
    ritualistic evils that I have been speaking against, continue to be 
    practiced.  Such perverse abominations are the 'deep things of Satan,' 
    their spiritual goal being the insertion of Satan's spiritual children 
    (the demons and rebel angels) into human bodies.  That's it, 
    basically.

    Well no, wait, there's more.  What I believe, is that after a certain 
    point (probably after the Body of Christ is removed from the world), 
    the people that have demons controlling them will no longer be able to 
    resist them, and essential, they will become demons themselves, having 
    completely lost their souls to the evil creatures.  Whether or not one 
    accepts even the lightest spiritual allegiance with the forces of 
    darkness, I believe, will determine whether or not one's soul is 
    eventually utterly usurped by the forces of Satan.

    Here is where the mystery of why the Lord will be rejecting many 
    people that have been outwardly seeming to serve Him, and yet behind 
    closed doors, have been shamefully serving Satan and his human 
    representatives in infernal pacts of demonic submission, in the hopes 
    of maintaining their worldly status and power.  Those must be the 
    people that are spoken of in the book of Jude - they that are 
    'ordained to this condemnation.'  Remember that Satan tried to get 
    Jesus to 'fall down and worship him,' and promised our Lord all of the 
    kingdoms of the world in return.  Have you ever really thought about 
    that?

    It seems likely that after such a major turning point (the Rapture), 
    that the most powerful deceptions might be forthcoming.  That will be 
    the time when all of the advanced technology that is waiting in the 
    wings will be fully deployed for the Satanic miracles that will be 
    used to fool many people into the arms of whatever false scenario 
    the Satanic hierarchy has been stirring up.

    No bones about it, there really is a world conspiracy of wicked 
    sorcerers, witches, etcetera, and they really are stirring bubbly 
    cauldrons of foul-smelling brews.  Many such folks are involved in 
    utterly nasty practices.  What they do for 'power' is very 
    distasteful.  The stench of it is all about.  What you must remember, 
    is that nearly all of the sinister conspirators are heavily beset with 
    demonic and/or fallen angelic spirits, that are very, very real.  They 
    are absolutely not imaginary.  Many occultists that believe that they 
    have 'developed' certain mystical or psychic powers, in actuality have 
    simply had energetic evil spirits attached to them, either through 
    deliberate practice of arcane rituals, or inadvertently, through 
    association with people and organizations that are rife with them.  I 
    have written about how I feel that those spirits may be able to 'leap' 
    from one person to another, if conditions are spiritually favorable in 
    the new prospect.

    It pains me to realize that these things are so obvious, and yet so 
    difficult to get others to believe.  Denial of the reality of the 
    mechanics of evil certainly will not make things better.  We need to 
    focus on the specific details that are responsible for the horror of 
    the bigger picture.  If we have a bunch of goofy, gleefully chattering 
    'Christian' people, that are allowing some incredibly base 
    antichristian activities to take place right in front of their eyes, 
    with no complaints whatsoever, what does that indicate to you?  
    Something good?  Christians that will not move a muscle to prevent the 
    spread of the Mark of the Beast and Mystery Babylon system?  That not 
    only tolerate it, but often seem to fervently embrace and advocate it?  
    I just don't get it.

--- psyche.log
    Flying through the air
    Tue Oct 3 2000

    Because of the highly unusual nature of some of the experiences that 
    I've had over the past decade or so, I have felt that it might be 
    better to not record some of them.  However, after giving it a lot of 
    thought over the past few years, I have decided to write about some of 
    them, at least.  I have made mention of this in the file preceding 
    this one, and perhaps in others as well.

    Much of what I'd like to convey has a lot more to do with the 
    framework of how I have perceived these occurrences, rather than the 
    actual events themselves.  This is very hard to explain, at least to 
    my satisfaction.

    What I am trying to say, is that my subsequent reactions to some of 
    the weird situations seems to me to be slightly more important than 
    what happened.  This attempt at an explanation still feels awkward and 
    clumsy, but that's the simplest way that I can put it into words.  
    I'll now try a more complex approach.

    People that haven't had any powerfully strange events take place in 
    their lives might have a hard time understanding and/or believing what 
    I'm trying to say.  Intense spiritual weirdness in your personal life 
    has a way of stretching your mind outward into new realms of 
    possibility.  Theories that might have once seemed impossible or even 
    unthinkable, can suddenly become much more plausible, after having 
    certain types of unprecedented events occur in one's life.

    In other words, the resulting changes in my consciousness that 
    occurred after some of these events transpired, ultimately means more 
    to me than the initial situations.  Also, the fact that many of the 
    events were followed by several mini-events or series of interrelated 
    synchronicities, often has added impact and validation to the actual 
    occurrences.

    Again, all of this seems very tedious and wordy to me (and I am sure, 
    to the reader), but I am determined to try and detail as much as 
    possible about what exactly has happened to me, and what my initial 
    and subsequent reactions have been.  This is as much for myself, as it 
    is for anyone else that might be curious, because my thoughts and 
    feelings have often been eery jumbled and chaotic, even oscillating 
    between extremely opposite poles of opinion.  I would like to clarify 
    my final interpretations of all of this, again, for my own benefit, as 
    well as perhaps that of others.  I may not be able to do this anywhere 
    near as well as I'd like to, but I'm going to try.

    Of course, there is always the possibility that certain people 
    (particularly those that have never had any paranormal experiences 
    themselves, and also those that have, but are in denial about them) 
    might decide to try and label me as a psychologically unsound person, 
    or something along those lines.  I am not worried about that, because 
    I know that I am sane, and many other people also fully understand 
    this.  Basically, I am writing this for the benefit of the concerned 
    people that will carefully read and consider what it is that I have 
    been trying to convey, and then judiciously come to their own 
    estimation of what it means to them personally, in light of their own 
    unusual perceptions and personal life experiences.

    Man, is this ever wearisome, right?  When am I ever going to get to 
    the point?  Well, soon, hopefully.  I just want to take a very long 
    time to warm up to the idea of doing this, because I have put it off 
    for so long.  I'm still not really sure if this is the right way to 
    proceed.  If I am right about some of my interpretations, I believe 
    that it could mean that many people would be very intensely disturbed.  
    But that may well be necessary for things to improve, if it's at all 
    possible, because, believe me, I have often been so completely 
    depressed by some of my perceptions, that I have felt that there was 
    no hope at all left for the immediate future of mankind.

    I have prayed that the Lord would help me to write about these 
    matters, and I hope that He will, because I am sincerely hoping that 
    some of the conclusions that I have reached are actually correct.  I 
    don't think that the truth can be truly understood, outside of the 
    will of God, and so, if there is any truth at all to some or all of 
    what I believe might be possible regarding the 'bigger picture,' God 
    has to be involved in some form or fashion.  And many of the 
    conclusions that I have reached seem to be backed up by various 
    Biblical passages, although, as usual, many folks might believe that 
    I am reading way too much into particular segments of text.

    I am not going to try and outline these thoughts that I have been 
    having - rather, I am going to sort of randomly 'pull them out of the 
    hat,' if you will.  Then again, maybe I will organize them somewhat.  
    I will continue along with this in the next file.

--- ryoko.log
    Hell hath enlarged herself
    Thu Oct 5 2000

    Before I launch into the details of the particularly unusual 
    psycho-spiritual situations that I have referred to in previous files, 
    I'd like to spend some time writing about some of the beliefs and 
    theories that I have developed over the past decade or so, many of 
    which have a lot to do with my reactions to what has happened to me 
    throughout the same time period.

    I will try to remain as objective as possible, in my attempts to 
    codify exactly what it is that I have been feeling, but there will be 
    times when it will be apparent that my perspective is heavily 
    influenced by personal emotionalism.  This is unavoidable, as many of 
    the issues that I want to write about have been charged with intense, 
    often somewhat indefinable personal feelings.  It would be nice to 
    always remain aloof from the cloudiness of personal emotionalism, but 
    maybe it's better to allow for it at times, because it may provide for 
    a truer perspective.

    Most of what I hope to be able to adequately describe has gone 
    unrecorded because of the fact that there was such a great emotional 
    charge involved.  I don't think that the reader can come to a complete 
    understanding of the entirety of what I'd like to convey, without 
    knowing more about some of these additional experiences, that I have 
    neglected to chronicle thus far.

    There is a great temptation in my mind to 'beat around the bush,' to 
    obfuscate somewhat, in order to avoid the touchier details of some of 
    the conclusions that I have reached.  But this wouldn't be wise, I 
    don't think - it'll be far better for me to be as honest as I can bear 
    to be, and just say exactly what I mean.  I have hinted about many of 
    the opinions that I have, and some people may feel that they know 
    already know a lot about some of what will be discussed.

    Remember, right now, I'd like to discuss some of the conclusions that 
    I have reached, as a result of various personal experiences I've had 
    over the past ten or so years.  Individual experiences invariably 
    shape personal perspective, and I am sure that there may be people 
    that have had entirely inverse experiences, and formulated completely 
    contrary views.  Please keep in mind that I am only one, very 
    imperfect person, a sinner just like everyone else, and that I don't 
    necessarily value my opinions over anyone else's.  I just feel that 
    it's my right to be able to slap down my views on the table, so that 
    others can consider them.

    Some of what I believe, I will not discuss at this time, because I am 
    convinced that some people are just not ready to seriously consider 
    certain possibilities.  I believe that some things just have to be 
    worked out between the hearts of particular individuals and God, if 
    there is communion there.  It would be irresponsible for me to attempt 
    to act as a go-between, to try and spark that kind of communication.  
    We are told in the Bible that nobody can come to the Father, unless He 
    draws them to Himself.  I firmly believe that I truly have been drawn 
    to the Father, and that a great part of why I have gone through some 
    of the negative experiences that I have, has to do with the fact that 
    I definitely know this (and also because of the fact that I am still 
    imperfect, sinful and slightly stupid).

    But, to make it perfectly clear, I really do believe that this is not 
    about me, primarily.  I am just trying to get as many people as 
    possible to carefully consider certain possibilities, in light of what 
    is detailed in various Biblical passages.  To do this right, I really 
    should provide specific correlations between some of what I will 
    write, and particular scriptural passages; but I am going to try and 
    avoid doing this, because I'd like as many non-Christians as possible 
    to consider the possibilities, and if they are moved to look for the 
    references, I'd like them to do some of the hunting on their own, 
    because they'll derive great satisfaction from searching through the 
    Bible themselves.

    Most of what I'm trying to bring across can be summed up in a 
    paragraph or two, so maybe I'm being far too dramatic, in getting to 
    the meat of the matter.  I know for sure that God is real, and that 
    Jesus Christ really is the Son of God, and that there truly will be a 
    future time on this world where Christ will rule over the entire 
    planet.  I know for a fact that there is nothing at all that anyone 
    can do to 'qualify' for membership in the Lord's kingdom, outside of 
    the exercise of humble faith in the promise of salvation given to us 
    by God, through Christ.  These are the basic, and most cheerful, facts 
    that I feel everyone really needs to know.

    Now, as regards all of the other stuff, much of it isn't all that 
    cheerful, and unlike the complete confidence that I have in the 
    preceding statements that I have made, there is a degree of doubt to 
    some of the additional topics that I'd like to discuss.  I know that 
    there really is a very real Satan, and that there there are evil 
    spirits that serve him, popularly known as demons and/or fallen 
    angels.  Of that, I an certain, but here is where the doubt arrives:  
    whether or not certain people, by reason of their 'acceptance' of 
    certain demonic traditions (that I have already discussed very 
    extensively in many other files), have become intimately bound to the 
    ultimate fate of Satan and his spiritual family.

    This is the central internal debate that I have been having with 
    myself (and God) over the past few years.  We are never told exactly 
    what Mystery Babylon is in the Bible, but we are given enough abstract 
    clues (the harlot, the beast, the golden cup of filthiness and 
    fornication) to get to a general understanding of 'what it is.'  The 
    deep sadness that I have been feeling over the past few years, has 
    everything to do with the fact that it seems to be more understandable 
    than ever before, particularly here in America, but that the general 
    population seems to be completely buried in denial about it.

    In fact, many people seem to equate (what I believe to be) the Mystery 
    Babylon system with everything that is good about the United States.  
    In fact, it actually appears that many, many people seem to believe 
    that those sickening abominations (as outlined in various places 
    throughout scripture) are the 'American Way.'  Pshaw.  Incredibly, one 
    can actually be accused of being a Communist or worse, if one dares to 
    speak against the evils of what some call the 'Old Boy network.'  Even 
    though the aforementioned network is only a part of what I believe is 
    wrong with our nation and world, it is extremely significant, for many 
    reasons.

    Basically, what I believe about this network, is that the people that 
    are led into the fraternal traps that I have been strenuously speaking 
    against, become demonized, in the literal sense.  In other words, 
    something about the horror of what is, apparently, routinely 
    administered to the men and (lately, I suspect) women that undergo the 
    vile initiations required for 'membership' in one or another of these 
    various tribes of spiritual authority, creates a light to heavy state 
    of demonic control over almost all of the people that have been 
    through these terrible experiences.  I am sure that most of the honest 
    people that have been through these ordeals would wholeheartedly agree 
    with me.  However, some would remain in utter denial, and I'm telling 
    you, those people would probably be the most demonically controlled of 
    all.

    Obviously, at least to me, the Mystery Babylon system has been used in 
    this nation very powerfully all throughout its history, but especially 
    over the past few decades.  It now appears that the greater potion of 
    our authorities are under the spiritual influence of these miserable 
    traditions.

    How have things arrived a such a pretty pass?  Well, my theory is that 
    Satan, as usual, starts with the very weakest members of societies 
    that he wants to better control, and then works his way up into the 
    higher echelons of authority.  Once the majority of authorities of a 
    particular nation have been Satanically 'converted,' then the exercise 
    of virtually any type of governmental evil is possible, because of the 
    fact that so many authorities are being Satanically inhabited.

    A crucial part (perhaps the most crucial) of how this all continues 
    along without interruption, is that all of the affected authorities 
    are strongly encouraged to remain in denial of the problem.  Not to 
    'tell,' that is.  Because of the sophistication of Satan and the 
    legions of spirit creatures under his control, it seems that many 
    people have their 'conversions' imposed upon them in ways that 
    harmonize symbolically with various sinful conditions within their 
    present and/or past, so oftentimes, what has actually happened to 
    them, and the real meaning of it, doesn't become immediately apparent.

    We must consider that the Lord ultimately determines the scope of 
    Satan's operational parameters.  God lets or restrains the flow of all 
    evil; in fact, He indicate to us in various scriptural passages, that 
    it is He that actually creates evil.  I feel that it is because of the 
    sins of many individuals, that God has allowed the gradual rise of 
    certain complex, institutional evils.  What I personally fear the 
    most, is the possibility that the Lord will not put the kibosh on evil 
    this time, and let it flower up into the ultimate end-time 
    manifestations that He has warned us about in the Bible.

    I am not worried about my own salvation, because I am sure of that, 
    thanks to the Lord.  What I am concerned about, in the immediate 
    sense, is the spiritual fate of my family and friends, and beyond 
    that, of the people of the world in general.  Jesus told us that the 
    gospel would have to be proclaimed all throughout the world before the 
    end would come, and it seems that has nearly been accomplished.  There 
    are very few areas on this planet with majorities of people that 
    haven't been reached to some degree by the gospel.

    Interestingly, Revelation indicates that during a certain phase of the 
    Tribulation, an angel will fly through the heavens proclaiming loudly 
    the imminence of the arrival of God's kingdom, so anyone that wouldn't 
    have heard the gospel by then will have yet another chance.  Also, 
    there will be a large number of special witnesses (144,000 literal 
    Jews, some believe; others think that the witnesses will be 
    descendants of the twelve tribes of Israel, some of which are now 
    equivalent to certain unique national groups) reserved for the 
    spreading of the gospel during the Tribulation.  I know that the Lord 
    is seriously interested in the salvation of as many souls as possible.

    Getting back to the discussion of demonized authority structures - why 
    exactly would the Lord allow for the installation of such?  Well, 
    again, it appears to have everything to do with our refusal to cease 
    from sinning, at the individual level.  We are given many examples in 
    the Bible of situations where the Lord Himself installed cruel tyrants 
    (such as Nebuchadnezzar) as heads of state.  Trying to find answers as 
    to why God, who I personally know is truly very loving, would allow 
    this, isn't easy, but again, I believe it comes down to the 
    willingness of individual citizens to repent of their sins.

    It really is a kind of Catch-22 situation:  those awful traditions 
    prevail, because of the general sinfulness of the people, and the 
    sinful state of the civilization progresses and worsens because of the 
    prevalence of those traditions.  What is most scary to me, is the 
    comfort level that many people seem to have with those wicked 
    practices.  It's almost as though people are completely unable to 
    realize the blatant devilishness that those traditions are all about.  
    Concerning Mystery Babylon ritualism, most people seem to think that 
    it's just 'the way things are.'  Even many Christians largely seem to 
    feel that way, as I have mentioned before.

    Well, I want to ask the people that feel that way, and that also 
    consider themselves to be Christians, whether or not they feel the 
    Lord approves of their approval of those traditions.  Does any honest 
    Christian really believe that the Lord wants the Body of Christ to 
    'accept' those demonic practices?

    I don't think that real Christians should participate in those 
    rituals, and if they are imposed upon them, I certainly believe that 
    they should protest.  Christians that submit to those evils are 
    submitting to Satan, plain and simple, and quite possibly, to his 
    fate, eternal damnation.  If I didn't believe so strongly that this 
    possibility was very real, I wouldn't have worn on so long and hard 
    about it.  God helped me to fully comprehend that the prospect of 
    eternal damnation is extremely real.

    God allowed me to acquire a very good understanding of it, and then 
    showed me the depth of His mercy, by delivering me from the 
    frightening state of spiritual separation that I experienced.  I 
    cannot help but try and explain to everyone that it is truly very 
    possible to be damned eternally, and that all people should avoid 
    anything that would increase the possibility of being abandoned by God 
    to that degree.  Separation from the Lord is unbelievably miserable, 
    and there really aren't words that are adequate for describing what 
    it's like (and what it's like to know what it's like), so I won't try.

    Just believe me, you don't want God to reject you.  Every sane person 
    should be intensely happy about the prospect of being saved into the 
    Lord's kingdom of eternal happiness.  If the people that are going to 
    be damned in the future could know what they are in for, I am certain 
    that most of them would repent of their sins, and accept Christ.  As 
    I've mentioned already, only God can draw them to Himself; there's not 
    a lot that I can do to help them, other than these feeble attempts at 
    warnings.

    Demons (and the fallen angelics as well, I am assuming) are parasitic, 
    and greedily draw from the life force of people that they inhabit.  
    Jesus told us that some of them cannot be repelled, except through 
    intense prayer and fasting.  My perceptions indicate to me that we are 
    in an age where there is a very high degree of ambient demonic and 
    fallen angelic influence, and also direct possession in some cases.  
    The main difference, as best as I can tell, between the demons and 
    evil angels, is that, in most cases, the angelics appear to be more 
    powerful and directive, if that makes any sense, which I'm sure it 
    does.

    What I think happens, when a nation gets Satanically controlled past a 
    certain point, is that great societal transformations become possible 
    virtually overnight.  Meaning, that the political landscape could 
    change very dramatically from one year to the next.  This, I believe, 
    is accomplished by large-scale demonic migrations from one group of 
    people to another, perhaps being directed by fallen angelic spirits, 
    that are, remember, the ancient progenitors of the demonic spirits.

    This is what I believe happened in Nazi Germany, as well as in many of 
    the phases of ancient world kingdoms and empires.  Not only does it 
    appear to be be possible for the demonic 'upper hand' to be shifted 
    from one group to another within a particular nation - it also seems 
    possible that spiritual forces from completely foreign areas can be 
    called into play when dramatic politcal realignments take place.

    A good example that I can think of, to illustrate this point, is an 
    account that I read in a book (that I believe dealt with an 
    interesting fellow named Gurdjieff) about a Westerner that was 
    observing a large Tibetan religious ceremony, at the exact time when 
    Adolf Hitler rose to power within Germany.  I cannot remember verbatim 
    what was described, but the gist of it was that there were all of 
    these Tibetan monks dancing around in the ceremony, when all of a 
    sudden they all simultaneously fell down to the ground together and 
    began wailing loudly in unison.  When one of the monks was asked why 
    this had happened, he explained to the observer that all of their 
    'gods' had left them, in order to travel to Germany.

    Fascinating possibilities unfold in the mind when considering this 
    sort of thing.  Although I was going to try and avoid doing so, I 
    think that this would be a good place to discuss a few related 
    subjects.

    It seems that there is far more acknowledgment of the reality of 
    intelligent disincarnate entities in the East, than in the West.  
    Westerners, particularly Christians, have often seemed uncomfortable 
    discussing evil spirits and issues pertaining to them, but many 
    Easterners seem to fully accept the reality of their existence.  What 
    disturbs me, and many other Christians, is that some Eastern cultures 
    bestow such high regard upon certain demonic forces, that they have 
    actually been deified in some cases, often equated with ancestors, 
    natural forces, heavenly bodies, etcetera.  Which, of course, is not 
    to say that this hasn't also been happening throughout Western 
    history; certainly, such practices are not uniquely Eastern, but it 
    seems that some of the Eastern cultures have strong cultural 
    traditions involving the reverence of violent spiritual forces going 
    back many thousands of years.  Anyone that even cursorily understands 
    certain aspects of Oriental history (such as myself) knows this.

    This file has gotten a bit too large, so I'll leave off for now.

--- ryo-ohki.log
    Crystal clear
    Thu Oct 5 2000

    Summarizing the basic difference between the Eastern and Western view 
    of evil spirits, I can say with a moderate degree of experience and 
    understanding that more people in the East are generally aware of the 
    reality of the existence of disincarnates, but in the West, the people 
    that are fully cognizant of them, tend to be of either the secretive 
    avant-garde or advantaged classes, or more or less ordinary folks, 
    that are often viewed as strange by most of their contemporaries.  
    This is an extremely simplified way of perceiving the differences 
    between these huge cultural blocks, but I am a pretty simple guy, 
    after all.

    I know well that many people in the East today are more 'Western' than 
    some individuals over here.  And we here in the Americas (and 
    throughout much of the rest of the West as well) have undergone a long 
    process of 'Easternization' as of late, especially throughout the past 
    three or so decades.  This is especially noticeable within some of our 
    subcultures, at least, to the trained eye.  Heh.  I place high value 
    on all world cultures, because I feel that every one of them has 
    important perspectives and insights that others may not.

    The greatest cultural diversification on the planet can be found 
    throughout the continent of Asia.  Also, some of the most ancient 
    cultures originated and still proliferate there.  I feel that it 
    really is a shame that most of us here in the West know so little 
    about Asian people and their long and complicated histories.  The same 
    could be said of many other world cultures, but I think the biggest 
    cultural blind spot that Westerners have, has everything to do with 
    Asia.

    For instance, many Westerners do not know of the fact that almost all 
    of what we consider to be foundational, regarding European culture, is 
    deeply rooted in various ancient Asian civilizations.  It goes way 
    beyond our use of the Arabic numerals and the Chinese origin of paper 
    and gunpowder.  This is a very complex and involved subject, the 
    treatment of which is far beyond the scope of what I am now 
    discussing, and it really shouldn't be glossed over.

    Anyone that is interested in the subject can take it upon themselves 
    to consult an Asian studies professor, or relevant texts.  You could 
    start by asking about Indo-European linguistic groups, Vedic culture 
    and the Aryan invasion of India.  Good places to start.  Another 
    interesting fact, is that the word that is used in Nordic pagan 
    circles, to describe one of the pantheon of beings that are identified 
    as 'gods' by them, is 'Aesir,' which translates to 'Asian,' or 'of the 
    continent of Asia.'  Sumeria, a very ancient Mesopotamian culture, is 
    extremely fascinating - check it out.

    Many of us know that there are aspects of various non-Christian, pagan 
    traditions and cultural histories that seem to shed some light on 
    topics that aren't completely covered in Christian writings.  I have 
    no problem with considering information from pagan sources, as long as 
    it doesn't directly oppose or conflict with Christianity.  Maybe many 
    confounding puzzles could be solved by careful analysis of various old 
    legends and 'myths.'  One big mystery, that I have often pondered on, 
    is what exactly is the true genesis of all of these extremely diverse 
    cultural groups found throughout the world?  How did all of these 
    groups of people, in the ancient context, originate and migrate across 
    the earth?  The dispersal of cultures from the tower of Babel is a 
    familiar story to many Christians.  Theories and opinions abound.

    In the southeastern Pacific, there is a little place known as Easter 
    island, where huge carved stone monoliths can be found, shaped like 
    human heads.  Each of them weighs tons, I believe, and they seem to 
    depict the entire range of basic human ethnic groups in detail.  You 
    should get a look at photographs of them at some point.  A very 
    terrible blot on the record of human history, is that so many precious 
    records and objects from some of the ancient New World cultures 
    (particularly in Mexico and Central America) were utterly destroyed by 
    the initial explorers that began their investigation of this 
    hemisphere.  That is yet another great blind spot.  A big one, I 
    think.

    Anyhow, the reality of evil spirits seems to be extremely important.  
    The possibility of the actual presence of Satan and his angelic 
    forces, as well as the demonic beings, must be of the greatest 
    importance to all Christians, as well as other people that are 
    seriously concerned about their personal happiness and well-being, as 
    well as that of others.  You can be sure that Satan and his crew are 
    extremely vampiric, and that they are desirous of utterly laying waste 
    to human bodies and souls.  That might seem pretty hard to believe to 
    many people, but they (and the foolish humans that serve them) are 
    difficult creatures to completely make sense of.

    Where exactly they have arrived from is a great concern of mine.  
    Nearly all Christian researchers will hem and haw when this question 
    is brought up.  Even though Revelation clearly states that the devil 
    and his angels are to be 'cast down' from a particular place in the 
    heavens towards the end of this age, most Christians don't seem to 
    have this foggiest idea as to where exactly that 'place' in the 
    heavens is (or was).  I have tried to cover (what I consider to be) 
    the possibilities in many other files, so I will resist the urge to be 
    redundant here.  I really do believe that there is a good chance that 
    Satan and his people may have (spiritually and/or physically as well) 
    arrived here from some entirely identifiable area of the physical 
    heavens, and furthermore, I feel that there is a very good chance that 
    certain secretive people may know exactly where that place is.

    But really, is it actually all that important, knowing the exact 
    location of the place in the heavens that Satan and his clan lost, 
    after being defeated by Archangel Michael and the loyal angelic forces 
    of God?  Probably not.  What is important, is that all Christians 
    fully understand that the devil and his people have absolutely lost 
    that war, and regardless of what can seem to be compelling evidence to 
    the contrary, the people that ally themselves with Satan, despite 
    their pleasant outward appearances, and cloak of material and 
    spiritual advantages, are ultimately the big losers.  Wait and see.

    Jesus warned us that true Christians would be maligned and persecuted, 
    even to the death, just prior to His return.  He even indicated that 
    there would be all kinds of false prophets and antichrists, many of 
    which, to my mind, seem to have something to do with certain branches 
    of organized Christianity.

    I certainly don't want to serve the devil, or his demons and angels.  
    I know that thyy are very real, and I'd be a fool to serve anyone but 
    God.  I cannot stress it enough - now is the time to repent of all of 
    your sins, and to seek the Lord with all of your heart, because it has 
    become very apparent to me that Satan and his people are making huge 
    strides forward into the minds, hearts and souls of unsuspecting 
    people all over the world.  Do not worship any of the pagan gods and 
    idols, they are fronts for powerfully evil spiritual forces of 
    destruction.  Don't believe me?

    It's one thing to be curious about ancient cultures, but it's another 
    thing altogether to be drawn down into paganism and the dark realities 
    of the spiritual world outside of the power of God.  Always keep the 
    Lord in mind when investigating non-Christian spiritual topics.  Those 
    of you that want to 'experiment' with non-Christian religions at this 
    time are, more so than ever before, placing your souls in grave 
    jeopardy.  Some of you will learn this through your own errors.  
    Hopefully, many of you will consider warnings like this against 
    becoming involved in pagan practices, and avoid the worst-case 
    scenarios.  Please understand that some extremely cruel spirit forces 
    hold sway over many of the people even lightly associated with certain 
    non-Christian cultural traditions.

    Why I am discussing all of this right now will become clear, when I 
    (finally) get around to describing in detail some of the strange 
    psycho-spiritual events that I have been mentioning so often.  I would 
    like to spend more time (perhaps a few more files) exploring some 
    random thoughts and conclusions that I've reached, but you can be sure 
    that I will eventually get around to the promised material.

--- lens.log
    Something completely different
    Sat Oct 7 2000

    It seems that very often, when I finally get around to trying to write 
    about certain incidents in my life that I have avoided recording, 
    there is a kind of intense spiritual pressure that seems to manifest 
    from somewhere.  I can't say for sure where the source of this 
    phenomenon is, but I am almost completely sure that it originates from 
    some kind of evil consciousness.

    I have a very hard time trying to think about, let alone write about 
    many of the internal thought experiences that I have had over the past 
    few years, and it sort of baffles me to consider that there might be 
    real spiritual opposition to my writing about any of them.  It 
    actually is difficult for me to clearly remember some of them, even 
    though I haven't forgotten any of their details.

    Simply calling them thoughts doesn't do them justice, because they are 
    much more than that.  Before trying to explain further, I will ask the 
    reader to consider all of what I will put forth as speculative, 
    because there is no way that I can say for sure whether or not there 
    is any real solid validity to any of these psycho-spiritual matters 
    that I'd like to discuss.

    If only I could say with real conviction that I was sure about some of 
    this stuff, I would certainly very enthusiastically do so.  But, it 
    wouldn't be honest of me to say that I completely believe that some of 
    these thoughts are worth considering as hard-core truths, because I 
    simply don't know for sure if they are.  It just seems a little odd to 
    me that I often experience extreme spiritual hostility, when I even 
    think about some of these possibilities as being truths.  Really, a 
    lot of it seems very plausible to me.  Knowing the incredible subtlety 
    and sophistication of the enemy makes me cautious, because, again, 
    we've been warned about the 'strong delusions' that will deceive 
    people toward the end of this age.

    However, we are also informed in the Bible, that the Lord is going to 
    make known his 'secret plan' near the end of this age.  I am not 
    trying to say that I understand better than anyone else what exactly 
    the Lord's plans may be, but I sincerely feel that God may be trying 
    to use me to help some people get closer to understanding at least 
    certain aspects of what those plans may be.  Please understand that I 
    am not trying to say this with a swollen concept of myself and what I 
    am about, because I know how ridiculous that would probably seem to 
    many folks.

    What I'd like you to consider, is the possibility that part of the 
    reason the Lord may have allowed me to go through all of these crazy, 
    unpleasant situations, is to make sure that I wouldn't get an 
    overinflated ego, when trying to make sense of and relate some of the 
    serious concepts that I have been trying to get others to consider.  I 
    realize that I am still living in this fallen world, with an imperfect 
    body, mind and soul, and just like many other people, I am prone to 
    evil pride, self-aggrandizing behavior, and morbid self-contemplation.  
    I have a host of other faults as well.  I know for sure that the Lord 
    hates all of these things, and cannot work effectively with folks that 
    harbor such sinful attitudes.

    Luckily, I recognize, acknowledge and repent of my character 
    deficiencies to the Lord, and that is the sole reason why I feel that 
    it could be possible that He might be able to use me to some degree to 
    help others.  There is no way that I'd think that I could be helpful 
    to God, if I were blind to the many flaws that I have.  I know that 
    God is very forgiving, but the continual woe of this stage of 
    existence can make that seem hard to believe at times.

    The main sin that seems to block human communications with the Lord, 
    has got to be pride.  Unrighteous anger runs a close second.  And 
    maybe greed, dishonesty, lust and on after that.  Most sins seem to be 
    the offspring of pride.  I believe that it is the most infernal of all 
    sins, and I personally know that it will take anyone down to the very 
    lowest levels of misery, where they will come in close contact with 
    the awful realities of hell.  Think I'm kidding?  There's nothing at 
    all humorous about the truth of it.

    I honestly feel that I have retained my sanity and health because of 
    prayer and repentance; I have no doubts whatsoever about the 
    beneficial effects connected with making heartfelt appeals to the 
    Lord, but I must admit that it can sometimes seem difficult to get 
    immediate results.  The best quick advice that I can give to others, 
    regarding prayer, is to try and pray continually, with great focus on 
    whatever particular issues you are trying to get God to help you 
    with.  And pray to the Father, in the name of Jesus Christ.  That's 
    very important to remember.

    Returning to the matter of the odd thoughts that I have had over the 
    past few years; the reason I say that they aren't exactly like normal 
    thoughts, is because there are some qualities to them, that seem to 
    make them 'quantum' in certain respects.  What I mean, is that there 
    sometimes is a feeling of being in several places at once when 
    thinking about them.  I have considered many different possibilities, 
    in my long contemplation of these thoughts.

    As I have stated earlier, perhaps the most important theory, is that 
    they are simply delusions that have manifested in my mind, either 
    spontaneously, or by some kind of external spiritual (and/or 
    psychotronic) directive force, perhaps involving human, demonic or 
    angelic will.  Believe me, I have thought long and hard about whether 
    I was going to write about some of these thoughts at all.  Some of the 
    stuff I definitely won't discuss, because it is just too strange.

--- handle.log
    Oh, it's perfect
    Sun Oct 8 2000

    I sure have been having some creepy dreams lately.  So creepy in fact, 
    that I haven't felt any desire to record any of them.  It used to be 
    that many of my dreams were just surreal or mildly weird in various 
    respects, but now it seems that many of them are way more disturbing, 
    symbolically.  They aren't all that bad, but some of them are 
    seriously strange.  What bothers me most about all of this, is that I 
    usually spend some time each day in prayer, and I wish that the Lord 
    would dispel some of the eerieness that crops up in my mind.

    Sometimes I wonder whether there are occultists that are trying to 
    'curse,' or attempt to spiritually manipulate me in certain ways.  
    This seems to be indicated by the content of some of the dreams.  No 
    matter how much I try to indicate to people that I am a Christian, and 
    that I am attempting to get them to focus on the return of the real 
    Christ to the world, there will always be fools around that insist on 
    misinterpreting anything and everything that I say and do, to try and 
    suit their warped wishes.  After all of the bizarre stuff that I've 
    been through over the years, I can say for sure that there really are 
    a lot of seriously antichristian people about, and that many of them 
    seem to be feverishly hoping for the manifestation of Satanic false 
    miracles and bogus spiritual frauds.

    All you have to do is go to the New Age section of any bookstore to 
    realize the truth of this.  Hundreds of books can be found, proffering 
    all kinds of spiritual theories, and many of them claim to contain the 
    absolute truth about the spiritual dimension, heavenly beings, 
    celestial matters, etcetera.  All of those people can't be right, but 
    I have rarely found any of the writers expressing any doubt about 
    their beliefs, or encouraging people to pray to God.  Many of them 
    never even mention Jesus, or simply speak of Him as a 'great man.'  I 
    have a fairly thick book on angels here, written by a group of women, 
    and in it, they make the claim that Satan is actually going to be 
    forgiven by God for his sins, and then reinstalled as a righteous 
    heavenly authority, when all is said and done.  No kidding.  That 
    directly conflicts with what we are told in the Bible, but there you 
    are.

--- splendid.log
    Circus in the sky
    Tue Oct 10 2000

    I feel that it's important that I just go ahead and write about a 
    particularly strange occurrence that took place about three years ago.  
    I haven't written anything at all about it, because it may be one of 
    the most disturbing things that has ever happened to me, although, as 
    you'll soon understand, it was almost entirely wonderful and, for lack 
    of a better term, magical.  I don't trust magical phenomena, 
    especially of the most amazing type, because of the possibility of 
    there being an element of high-tech deception involved.

    As I've already mentioned time and time again, I know a bit about some 
    of the more advanced newfangled gadgetry, and as sad as seems to me 
    personally, I certainly believe that some unbelievably astounding 
    'miracles' could be generated by evil people that have some of this 
    far-out new technology in their hot little hands.

    What I'm about to describe, when considered by even the best 
    mechanical engineering minds around, will likely seem nearly 
    impossible to achieve using conventional (commonly known) technology, 
    but I am sure that it might be possible to replicate what I saw by 
    using some very complicated satellite-based particle-beam arrays, 
    perhaps in combination with techniques that involve electromagnetic 
    manipulation of the ionosphere.

    It greatly saddens me to think of such possibilities, because the end 
    result of this incident was truly miraculous.  Simply amazing.  And I 
    know that this kind of marvelous event could impress many people very 
    deeply, in a spiritual way, if used in certain situations.  One would 
    like to think that only God would be able to manifest such remarkable 
    visions, but perhaps the rebel angels, with or without human 
    cooperation, might be able to create such events.  I don't know for 
    sure; all I know is that I truly saw with my own eyes what I am about 
    to describe.  It may actually be that what I saw was a real vision 
    generated by God, but I want to express doubt, because I now feel much 
    safer describing this.

    Part of the reason why this event was so amazing to me (beyond the 
    impact of the vision) has a lot to do with some subsequent symbolic 
    'coincidences' that tied in with an obsession of mine (that I have 
    already mentioned too many times).  It tires me to dwell on all of the 
    additional considerations, so I will skip them for now.  Maybe I'll 
    fully detail them in a future file.

    Anyway, what happened is this:  after I spent the morning and early 
    afternoon of a certain day (towards the end of 1997, if i remember 
    correctly) doing nothing particularly special, I suddenly decided to 
    take a walk up toward the lakefront, because the weather was really 
    nice, and it was a bit too warm indoors.  I walked up to a stretch of 
    the park that is situated between the Foster and Ardmore beaches, and 
    flopped down in the grass and stared up at the sky.  I must mention at 
    this point that I was completely sober.

    Now, I cannot remember the entire sequence of images perfectly, but I 
    do recall that the very first thing that happened, was that a very 
    large group of clouds kind of coagulated directly in front of my field 
    of vision.  These clouds them gradually coalesced into what appeared 
    to be a very large face, which, believe it or not, actually had a wide 
    grin on it's face.  As the face became clearer and more detailed, 
    there was no denying that I was actually seeing this happen before my 
    eyes, and not simply imagining it.  Also, the face had a big 
    clown-like nose, and two large, round, Mickey Mouse-type ears.  Still 
    with me?

    The most remarkable thing about that face, in retrospect, is that one, 
    as I just mentioned, it manifested directly in front of me (perfectly 
    viewable at a 45 degree angle), and when it had finished developing, 
    it was almost perfectly symmetrical.  Normal clouds simply don't do 
    that kind of thing.  There's more.

    Again, I can't recall the exact sequence, but one by one, the 
    following images appeared:  a human form (shown from the torso up) 
    that seemed to be dressed in a military uniform (that featured a 
    diagonal sash across the chest), with it's right arm held up in an 
    L-shaped gesture; to the right of that, and a little lower in the sky, 
    an outline of what seemed to be an angelic form, that had a perfectly 
    formed little halo floating above it's head (which persisted long 
    after the angel cloud had dissipated).  Both of those images appeared 
    to the left side of the huge face, which remained visible throughout.  
    Those are the only two images that appeared on that side.

    On the right side of the face, there were even more images, but they 
    were less distinct, and there were more of them.  This entire incident 
    took place within ten or so minutes, and I pretty much just dazedly 
    watched it all happen.  The images that appeared on the right side 
    were:  three faces, the top two vertically aligned, and the bottom one 
    slightly off to the left.  The middle face appeared to be the 
    archetypal image of a standard 'alien' form (commonly referred to as 
    'greys'), while the bottom face seemed a lot like a little girl with a 
    page-boy haircut.  The little girl did something rather peculiar - the 
    expression on her face gradually went from a pronounced frown to a 
    smile, all within less than a minute.  The face on the top was 
    something that I've never seen before - it seemed almost insectoid, 
    having a very triangular face, with bulbous eyes (that were almost 
    more on the side of it's head rather than in front).

    The other images that I noticed on the right side were more ephemeral, 
    like quick impressions that one gets from viewing the indistinct ink 
    blots of a Rorschach test.  As soon as I clearly identified what one 
    of these clouds was supposed to be, it seemed to immediately 
    disintegrate.   Maybe this was because the last images didn't need to 
    be as 'convincing' to me, because it seemed that the previous ones had 
    remained formed longer, so that I'd be convinced that I was actually 
    seeing all this.  Can't say for sure.  The last few things were:  a 
    sword and a curved and distended section of clouds that reminded me of 
    the asteroid belt.

    That's pretty much it, and it all took place within about ten minutes.  
    Although I have tried to discuss my near-death experience quite 
    extensively, with many different types of people, I have discussed 
    this occurrence with hardly anybody, because I know that many folks 
    would find it very hard to believe.  What is most amazing about it 
    really, is that it was a kind of confirmation to me that some of the 
    bizarre internal mental experiences that I'd been having around that 
    time, really were the result of some type of powerful intelligence 
    attempting to psycho-spiritually intercct with me.  There are many 
    details that I could relate about these internal experiences, but I 
    don't have the energy to do so right now.

    I spent a lot of time worrying about whether those spiritual forces 
    were aligned with God or not, and to tell you the truth, I still 
    haven't come to a final conclusion about it, although I will say that 
    there have been times when I have felt very negative about them and 
    what seemed to be their spiritual interactions with myself and others.  
    There are some interesting negative references to clouds in the book 
    of Jude, that I have thought about a lot.  I have some fairly 
    intricate theories about what exactly this incident might have meant, 
    but again, now isn't the time.

--- urethane.log
    Your first task
    Sat Oct 14 2000

    Sometimes I get really worried about my interpretations of my 
    experiences.  I have tried to carefully describe some of the most 
    unusual events that have taken place over the years, without adding or 
    subtracting anything.  Even to me, some of what I have been writing 
    about seems pretty bizarre, when I can step outside of myself and 
    think about it objectively.  It's hard for me to distance myself from 
    these experiences, because they have puzzled me for years, and it 
    irritates me greatly that I don't have absolute answers for myself, as 
    well as for others.

    I have turned over many theories in my mind, trying to make some sense 
    out of the mad pastiche of occurrences that I have been describing.  
    There is a lot that I haven't written, mostly internal experiences and 
    thoughts, that might be important when considered together with 
    everything else, but I have tried to be cautious.  I don't feel 
    comfortable writing about the weirdest thoughts that I have had, and 
    there isn't any way that I could validate some of what I believe might 
    be possible, even if I knew for certain that it was absolutely true.  
    Real frustrating.

    Also, like I have mentioned before, there seems to be a chance that 
    some of what I have been considering might be what certain evil forces 
    would like me to believe, rather than what is actually the truth.  I 
    have felt an intense wrangling feeling inside of my mind, especially 
    over the past few years, and I think it has a lot to do with my 
    efforts against what might be the attempts of various forces' 
    'programming' techniques.

    I am sure that some of the nefarious organizations use very powerful 
    occultic techniques, while others, I truly believe, are utilizing some 
    very advanced beam and electromagnetic field weapons systems.  For 
    those of you that think that's poppycock, I ask you to consider the 
    fact that we can very easily gather accurate data about star clusters 
    that are a third of the distance across the known universe, from our 
    ground and satellite-based electronic systems.  Why does it seem so 
    impossible to most people that we'd be able to electronically bridge 
    the relatively minute distance between the outer atmosphere and the 
    planet's surface?

    Really, what matters most to me, as far as making sense out of some of 
    what's been happening to me, is what exactly the spiritual situation 
    breaks down to.  I would like to believe that the devil has been 
    persecuting and oppressing me, nut there have been times when I have 
    seriously considered the possibility that the Lord might actually be 
    the cause of some of what I have endured.  Actually, I know for sure 
    that the devil has caused practically all of the misery that I have 
    suffered, but I can't help but consider the fact the the Lord could 
    have prevented some or all of it from happening in the first place.

    Does this make me angry?  No, it really doesn't, because if the Lord 
    has actually caused or allowed some of these miserable events to 
    occur, then I'm sure that He has a good plan for working it all out 
    for the best, eventually.  I would even feel somewhat relieved to 
    think that God might be responsible for some or all of this season of 
    personal woe, because I would feel even more confident that He would 
    be leading me out of all of this insanity.

    Every Christian knows that the Lord determines the extent to which 
    Satan is allowed to oppress anyone.  The book of Job illustrates that 
    best, I think.  All of my prayers haven't been in vain.  I will just 
    have to keep waiting, because I still have hope that the Lord is going 
    to deliver me from this intense misery that I have been dealing with.  
    Honestly, I have been so disappointed over what I've gone through, 
    that I have found myself feeling incredibly hateful at times.  I've 
    hardly ever been a chronically angry person.  It's no fun, and no kind 
    of life for anyone.

    It has been tremendously difficult for me to forgive the people that 
    have caused some of the unfortunate events in my life, but I know that 
    my complete pardon of their transgressions against me is key to my 
    receiving forgiveness for my own sins, so I have been praying that the 
    Lord will help me with all of the hostile feelings that I have against 
    those Satanic fools.  It amazes me that they still don't seem to 'get 
    it,' regarding the fact that these evil 'traditional' fraternal 
    situations that they routinely put people through, are the very 
    foundation of what is wrong with everything.

    Though I cannot provide complete details on every last aspect of how 
    it is taking place, I really do believe that there is a good chance 
    that the world has been in a kind of spiritual 'cosmic storm' over the 
    past hundred or so years.  What I mean, is that the past century has 
    been so radically different from all previous recorded history, that 
    it strongly indicates that something highly unusual has been 
    occurring.  I am convinced that this planet is being pelted by a lot 
    of evil spiritual arrivals from elsewhere.  Waves of space criminals, 
    or something along those lines.  Some of you will think that I have 
    been watching too many Japanese cartoons, right?  Nyuk.

    No, I really think that there is something to this concept.  The funny 
    thing, to my mind, is that the cosmic criminals appear to be 
    successfully possessing the bodies of some of the most advantaged 
    people in society.  They have largely inverted everything, in a moral 
    sense, so now, people that have truly conservative ideas about 
    righteousness are being made out to seem evil and wrong.  The zombies 
    (people possessed by evil spirits of whatever kind) have reversed the 
    poles of morality, to ensure that they will enjoy a more comfortable 
    spiritual environment to cavort about in.  All of this is evident to 
    me.

    But it's nearly impossible to convince anyone else, especially some of 
    the people that are actually inhabited by the destructive spirits.  
    Such beset people are nearly always ready to vigorously deny the 
    validity of these theories.  I have already mentioned in many other 
    files that Satan and his loyalists have lost a heavenly war against 
    the Most High at some point, but very few folks seem to understand 
    what that might ultimately mean for the people here on Earth.

    If there was a war in the heavens, and if Satan and his people lost 
    that war, and if they have been cast down to the Earth, as described 
    in Revelation, that must mean that the immortal souls of the evil 
    heavenly beings (that are now marooned here) must be trying to 
    completely control the minds and souls of Earth's native population.  
    Sure seems to be what is indicated by the endtime events outlined in 
    the Bible, and what I have been personally experiencing.  This is the 
    core of what I believe is happening.

    Unfortunately, there seems to be little that can be done to remedy the 
    situation, because of the nearly across-the-board denial of the 
    reality of Satan, evil spirits, etcetera.  One of the ugliest things 
    that I have perceived, is that many of those adversarial spirits seem 
    to have taken up residence in some of the most prominent politicians, 
    celebrities, and religious leaders.  And again, most of those people 
    will not listen to reason, regarding their partaking of the vile cup 
    of devilish 'traditions,' and what they are in store for because of 
    the secret dark allegiances and compacts they have made with their 
    perverse father, Satan.

    Obviously, they are all comfy-cozy with what it is that they have 
    done.  They are unwilling to risk losing their social standing, to 
    unmask the truth of what is happening 'behind closed doors.'  They are 
    very snug, you see.  Practically nothing that stupid me can do to 
    help, except to keep praying about it all.  Groan.  Once upon a time, 
    I had a cheerful, lighthearted, happy-go-lucky personality.  Not no 
    more.  Sniffle.  Whine.  Whatever.

--- ceramic.log
    Gladness and sincerity
    Mon Oct 16 2000

    Yesterday, I watched an interesting show that featured a panel of 
    gentlemen that were discussing quantum mechanics, and various other 
    related topics.  I couldn't help but notice that a lot of polite 
    disagreements were being circulated amongst the fellows, mostly 
    objections to portions of the many personal theories that were being 
    outlined during the discussion.

    Radiating from the central topic of quantum mechanics, were 
    considerations having more to do with certain classical arguments that 
    are familiar to students of philosophy and psychology.  Makes sense, 
    of course, because the basic goal of quantum mechanics is, I believe, 
    to better understand the technical nature of consciousness and 
    thought, particularly that of human beings, and creatures supernal.

    Although I know very little about the discipline of quantum mechanics, 
    and how folks within such academic circles debate the relevant issues, 
    I do understand very well that there are some modes of consciousness 
    that cannot be easily described or explained, mainly because there 
    aren't English words that are adequate descriptors for the complexity 
    and uniqueness involved.

    Some of the terms that were used during the program are more or less 
    appropriate for describing some of the simpler unusual states of 
    consciousness, like 'nonlocality,' or the Jungian term (if I remember 
    correctly) 'synchronicity,' which refers to the baffling phenomenon of 
    sequences of symbolic coincidences.  I have written in another file 
    that I believe I understand a bit about modes of consciousness that 
    supersede the ordinary day-to-day human thought modalities.

    The golden key for understanding the higher (or deeper, if you like) 
    nature of more powerful modes of consciousness, I believe, is to 
    understand that the Most High God is perfectly sentient, and that His 
    creatures that are above us in the heavenly order must have a 
    consciousness that is intermediate between His and ours.  What this 
    might mean, is that some or all of the angelic powers might be able to 
    have a wider perception of 'now,' as well as the ability to travel 
    through different dimensional barriers.  Possibly, some of them might 
    be able to be present in multiple places at once, which might be 
    appropriately described as 'polylocality.'

    The main reason why I firmly believe that this is so, has everything 
    to do with what I experienced during my near-death episode, where some 
    beings that must have been angelic interacted with me, via telepathy.  
    Also, during that encounter, I felt that they literally (spiritually) 
    transported me from this world to another.  That other world was many 
    orders 'higher' than this one currently is, and that alone is almost 
    impossible to fully describe.  I am sure that nobody would choose this 
    world (in its current spiritual state) over the other, if they knew 
    what I know about the vastly better spiritual state of the latter 
    place.

    One very important thing that I learned from my subsequent 
    consideration of that experience, is that the essence of the human 
    soul is entirely separable from the material body that it dwells 
    within.  When separated from this body, my soul was still me, and when 
    my soul was introduced into that new world, it seemed as though there 
    was a new physical, or semi-physical body involved, which had a far 
    more intense positive spiritual radiance to it.

    I cannot remember much about being in that new body (because I almost 
    immediately found myself back here, in this body), but, based on the 
    very brief moment that I was allowed to be in it, I can say for sure 
    that the difference was absolutely incredible.  Now, where exactly 
    that place was (if it could be at all determined to exist anywhere 
    within the observable universe), is still a partial mystery to me; I 
    say partial, because I strongly suspect that it was someplace in the 
    immediate vicinity of this solar system, removed by vast stretches of 
    space and time.

    But there is no way that I can verify this, so I can't say with 
    complete certainty that a physical world was involved at all, even 
    though that seems to be what was implicated.  My best estimation of 
    what happened, in a sentence or so, is that I feel that I was 
    spiritually transported to another physical world, that was operating 
    at a higher, cleaner spiritual 'frequency' than this one.  This 
    spiritual transport involved my soul being united with a completely 
    new body, that I suspect was material, or partially material.  I feel 
    that the beings that effected this spiritual transport were sent by 
    God, to bring me to that other place.

    Everything is different for me, because of that experience.  I don't 
    just believe that there is survival of consciousness after death - I 
    know that it is true.  Also, I have had many, many other experiences 
    that have extensively proven to me that there are some extremely evil 
    spiritual beings and forces operating all throughout this world, and 
    that they are completely against an increase of truly powerful 
    Christian faith within the general public.  I feel that my story, and 
    others like it, might be able to help increase that faith for some 
    people, and of course, the evil forces are against that, because it 
    would fully discredit their sickening system of things, and show it 
    for what it really is - Satanic slavery, which will ultimately result 
    in damnation.

    It really disturbs me that apparently, a lot of folks are going to 
    completely miss out on that new existence, that will be fully governed 
    by the power of God, and His loyal creatures.  It just endlessly 
    depresses me.  Even without being fully cognizant of all of the exact 
    information pertaining to the whats and wheres of my experience, I 
    know that there is an undeniable power to the core of what I have been 
    trying to convey, and it saddens me that so few people seem to be 
    willing to thoroughly consider what I have been trying to discuss.

    Remember, Jesus was crucified by evil people for doing undeniably good 
    works.  All of the original disciples were killed, and the blood of 
    many, many people flowed freely because of the dissemination of the 
    truth of Christianity throughout the centuries.  Jesus told us that He 
    was going to prepare a place for us in the heavens.  But we are also 
    informed that Christ will be personally ruling over this world for at 
    least a thousand years.

    At a certain point during the awful apocalyptic events described in 
    Revelation, voices in heaven announce that the kingdoms of Earth are 
    now the kingdoms of the Lord and Jesus Christ, who will reign forever 
    over them.  I, of course, believe that this is all true, but what 
    puzzles me, is that Jesus said that He was going to 'prepare a place' 
    for us elsewhere, that we will be brought to.  Mention is also made 
    later in Revelation, of a new heavens and earth that will be created 
    at a future time, after the former earth and heaven have passed away.  
    We are told that the new earth will have no sea.

    Right after that, there is what I consider to be a very fascinating 
    description of the 'New Jerusalem,' that will exist on this 'New 
    Earth.'  It 'comes down from heaven,' and when measured by an angel, 
    is shaped like a perfect cube.  We are told that it has twelve gates, 
    attended by twelve angels, each of which bears a name of one of the 
    tribes of Israel.

    Directly prior to all of these passages, the judgment of the people of 
    this world takes place, as well as that of Satan.  Revelation tells us 
    that Satan will be bound in an abyss for a thousand years, and that he 
    will be released near the end of that period.  When he is released, he 
    gathers together a vast group of people, which surround the 'camp of 
    the saints,' which I am assuming will be Jerusalem, and then they are 
    all destroyed by 'fire from heaven.'

    After that, Satan and all the wicked are judged, and cast into the 
    Lake of Fire, where, we are informed, they will be tormented 'day and 
    night forever and ever.'  Big difference from that book on angels that 
    I mentioned a few files back, written by the group of ladies, eh?

    What is the point that I am trying to make?  Hmm.  Jesus is going to 
    rule over this Earth for at least the entire thousand-year period 
    during which Satan will be imprisoned in the abyss.  At the end of 
    that millennium, Satan is released (as I just mentioned) and defeated 
    for the last time.  Right after Satan is judged, what is commonly 
    referred to as the 'Great White Throne Judgment' begins.  This is 
    where all of the dead that were not resurrected during the Rapture 
    (which, you will recall, is for the dead in Christ and true living 
    believers) are revived and judged, based on their works.  I think that 
    this might be the Lord's way of sorting out the legions of dead souls 
    that weren't Christians.

    After Christ's millennial rule comes the new heavens and earth, which 
    is what Jesus must have been speaking of, when He said that He was 
    going to 'prepare a place' for those of us that love Him.  That future 
    (by our reckoning) Earth is not this current world, as best as I can 
    discern it, and its history opens up to this world's people 
    immediately after Satan and the other hopelessly evil souls are 
    finally judged.

    This is what I'm trying to explain, at least in theory.  That future 
    Earth seems to be an entirely different sphere, which may or may not 
    be material, but which undoubtedly, will be operating at a much higher 
    spiritual frequency, because of the proximity of the Most High Lord, 
    and the complete absence of evil spiritual motivations.  That is the 
    place that I believe I may have been briefly transported to, although 
    again, there is no way that I can prove it.  I feel that it is very 
    important to consider all of these matters in depth, and that is what 
    I have been trying to do.

--- business.log
    No more sea
    Tue Oct 17 2000

    When speaking with people at length about what I believe the meaning 
    of life is, in a general spiritual sense, I have often remarked that I 
    feel much less certain about events that occurred in the far past of 
    history.  I am much more confident, concerning my beliefs about what 
    the future holds, both good and evil, although, as I have mentioned 
    before, I certainly don't feel that I have perfect knowledge regarding 
    what may be coming down the pike.  My feeble forecasts can't be 
    perfect, and I've tried to remind the reader of that continually.  My 
    advice is to steer clear of anyone that claims to have perfect 
    knowledge about the unfolding of the future.

    In Genesis, after Adam and Eve disobey the Lord's command to not eat 
    of the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, the Lord 
    says that 'the man has become as one of us, knowing good and evil.'  
    This has always interested me, because the Lord refers to Himself in 
    the plural.  He also does the same thing earlier, when He says:  'Let 
    Us create man in Our image.'  Many people do not know that one of the 
    original Hebrew words used for God throughout the Bible is 'Elohim,' 
    which is a feminine plural, like the English words 'convent,' or 
    'sorority.'  Of course, the deeper meaning of the word 'Elohim' is 
    open to debate, and since I am not a seasoned Biblical scholar, I'll 
    refrain from attempting to explain in detail why I believe it is used.  
    But I will provide a sketchy personal theory of mine.

    This might get a little complex, but I will try to keep it as simple 
    as possible, without completely denuding the discussion.  Actually, 
    this stuff is somewhat beyond me, so please forgive me if my writing 
    seems awkward and unprofessional.

    I've already stated elsewhere, that I feel that the only absolutely 
    perfect being in existence is the Lord.  I am sure that most people 
    (that believe that there is a God, to begin with) would agree with me.  
    In the Bible, God tells us that He is the only true God that there is, 
    and that there is no other that He knows of.  We are also informed 
    that He is an uncreated being, that has perpetual existence, and has 
    never been the product of a greater being's creative process.  It is 
    explained that everything that has been brought into existence, was 
    initiated by Him.  Simply put, there is one God, and all that is, has 
    been originally manifested by Him.  Ok.

    It follows, that all individual consciousness must have somehow 
    originally sprouted from the Lord's consciousness, just as the smaller 
    globules of star clusters have spun from larger conglomerations.  Even 
    if there is a heavy degree of creative objectivity, on the part of the 
    Lord, He must have put a lot of His original energy into all of 
    creation, particularly whatever group of intelligences were created by 
    Him at the earliest stages of the formation of creation in general.

    What I am trying to say, is that we see less of God in creatures such 
    as amoebas, insects, snails, etcetera - while we see (most of us, at 
    least, I think) more of Him in the mammalian and human orders of life.  
    This is a clumsy, crude way of getting to my point, but hold on.

    I am absolutely certain that there are spiritual orders of life (which 
    may or may not have corresponding physical or semi-physical bodies 
    somewhere in space and time) that are far greater than human beings.  
    They are far more like God than us, but they are still not God 
    Himself, who rules above all of them, and us as well.  The little bit 
    that I know about these higher orders of life, indicates to me that 
    they are extremely strong, peaceful and kind beings.  It seems 
    unlikely to me, that they would exert any kind of aggressive force 
    against weaker creatures, unless it was absolutely required, perhaps 
    by the command of even higher and wiser beings.

    Some people are familiar with the fact that the angels of heaven do 
    not procreate.  They have eternal life, and so, do not need posterity 
    to carry along a germ of themselves into the future.  We are told 
    (I've already mentioned this somewhere before) by Jesus, that those of 
    us that will be accounted worthy of entering the kingdom of God, will 
    no longer 'give or take in marriage.'  In other words, we will not be 
    sexually procreating any longer.  I am sure that this may inspire deep 
    horror in the minds of some folks.  Heh.  Those appear to be the 
    facts.

    However, just because we will not be 'sexually active' does not mean 
    that we won't be involved in forms of creativity far superior to what 
    we are familiar with in the here and now.  Honestly, it even seems 
    unimaginable to me, to think of living a completely sexless life.  
    Fortunately, I have had more luck with reaching a greater 
    psycho-spiritual comfort level with this concept, than I believe 
    others have.  Looking around and seeing how incredibly disgusting and 
    immoral society has become over the years has helped me better 
    understand how damaging and evil unrestrained sexuality can be.  But 
    many people just don't see things this way.

    I've deeply digressed.  Before continuing, I'd like to mention that 
    part of what I'm driving at, is that we are able, through God's mercy, 
    to achieve higher levels of membership in the heavenly kingdom, and 
    upon our elevation, we lose certain aspects of what we consider to be 
    fundamentally human, in order to gain the greater good that the Lord 
    wants to bestow upon us.

    The Lord tells us that we cannot even imagine the wonders that He has 
    prepared for those of us that really love Him, and that it will give 
    Him great pleasure to give those things to us.  Do any of you have any 
    idea about what those wonders might be?  Remember, the end of the 
    learning of war is also mentioned, as another result of the advent of 
    the Lord's kingdom on Earth.  For many of us men, this would almost 
    seem to be the very end of the male gender, because many of our 
    psyches are so tied up internally with issues of aggression, war, and 
    violence in general.

    Now I'm getting to the point.  I'm trying to be careful, because what 
    I'm trying to say could be easily misinterpreted.  I am not saying 
    that the Lord is trying to make all men into spiritual women - that 
    would be completely silly.  What I mean, is that we are going to be 
    changed in ways that will result in us shedding many of the coarser 
    aspects of our maleness, in favor of a more kind, cooperative and 
    constructive spiritual demeanor.  I can tell that a lot of dudes will 
    be gritting their teeth right about now.  I feel your pain.

    This more constructive type of consciousness is what I believe God, 
    and His immediate family (meaning His highest loyal created beings) 
    are all about.  That is what I believe the essence of the word 
    'Elohim' is.  God in plural.  God and company, you see.  The Lord is 
    running a business, which is nothing like any of ours, because it's 
    ultimate goals are perfect.  Now, here comes the really fun part.

    Remember the parable that is given in the New Testament, of the Lord 
    being a farmer, the world a field, and human beings as crops?  This is 
    ultimately the best view of what life is all about.  Quite literally, 
    God is 'growing' souls to be harvested into His kingdom, and united 
    with the greater body of God, which includes all of His (I assume) 
    tested and found to be loyal creatures.

    What happens beyond that, maybe I shouldn't speculate on too much, but 
    I am sure that it involves many incredibly constructive activities, 
    many of which we can't even imagine properly at the present time, due 
    to the spiritual constraints that we are currently under.  I will say 
    this:  I feel that the entire process of God's creation of the 
    universe, abstractly, involves a vast period of 'evolution,' which is 
    probably followed by an equally long period of 'involution.'  Sounds 
    kind of Eastern, right?

    I think that the Lord is differentializing himself, in the binomial 
    expansion sense, and then eventually reincorporating everything back 
    into the original singularity, which must be His first (and last, 
    strangely) thought.  The most common observation that I can make, is 
    that there are infinite cyclical processes at work, so it seems fairly 
    logical to assume that the greater scale of universal development and 
    consummation must be circular to some degree as well.

    The Lord tells us that He does not change, which means He transcends 
    all of this rotation.  He is never in flux, therefore, He must be 
    stationed at the very beginning and end of the vastness of all time 
    and space.  Everything begins and ends with Him, and He tells us this 
    quite matter-of-factly.  What I think He is doing, is gathering and 
    refining the soul material that He has dispersed throughout the 
    universe, and then reassimilating it into a perfect unity, which is 
    what it was in the first place, anyhow.  Kind of like taking apart an 
    already finished puzzle, and then putting it back together again.

    Of course, for all of this to move along smoothly throughout time and 
    space, cooperation between all beings possessing God-given individual 
    consciousness is required.  Here is where we can begin to better 
    understand the problem that Satan and his followers pose.  Although 
    the fallen angelic beings were originally created by the Lord, they 
    are now for the separation of individual consciousness from this grand 
    flow of God's universal plan.  They would like to work against what 
    the Lord desires, in order to stand apart from His design, which makes 
    them feel, in some sick way, as though they are better than Him.  This 
    must be the core of the spiritual attitude that begets the entire 
    cornucopia of sin:  evil pride, vanity, lust, cruelty and on.  
    Noncooperation, in favor of selfish motives, at very high spiritual 
    levels.

    Using the human body as a model for this phenomena is a popular 
    gimmick of fascists, but it is somewhat appropriate.  All of the cells 
    in any body need to work together, so that the biological form can 
    maintain it's integrity.  When individual cells decide to deviate from 
    their programming, cancerous growths can occur, which places the 
    entire body in jeopardy.  Only by the reversion of the cells to a 
    normal state, or by their complete removal, is the right biological 
    equilibrium of the total form concerned restored.

    Oversimplified, definitely, but that is pretty much it.  Satan and his 
    people have been trying throughout the ages to completely invert and 
    thwart the Lord's plans for a completely meaningful, constructive 
    future, in favor of meaningless destruction and waste.  A huge irony 
    of this, is that it appears that their spiritual rebellion makes them 
    less, rather than more, free.  I've already covered this elsewhere, so 
    I won't go into it again.  God controls Satan completely, which is 
    very hard for many people to completely believe.  We should all fear 
    the Lord, and not Satan, because it is God that decides whether or not 
    we will be afflicted by evil designs, and to what extent the 
    affliction will be allowed to ultimately progress upon us.

    I find it very interesting that Adam and Eve chose to disobey God and 
    eat from the tree of knowledge of good and evil.  Especially 
    intriguing, is the fact that they did not choose to eat from the tree 
    of life instead, which the Lord had not forbade them to eat from.  
    That's right - the only tree that was forbidden, was the tree of 
    knowledge of good and evil.  They were expelled from the garden, 
    because the Lord didn't want them to subsequently eat from the tree of 
    life, and thus live forever.  Think of that!

    Something else that I think is worth mentioning, is that in 
    Revelation, when a vision of the elect, delivered from the horrors of 
    the endtime scenario is mentioned, they are described as clothed in 
    white robes, standing on a 'sea of glass,' and singing the song of 
    Moses.  The sea of glass interests me, because later, towards the end 
    of the book, when the new heavens and earth are described, we are told 
    that there will be 'no more sea' on the new earth.  I just thought of 
    this yesterday - I feel that it might be a subtle clue (the waterless 
    'sea') about the possibility of the elect being (perhaps temporarily, 
    before returning to Earth to rule with Christ) transported en masse 
    (as I believe I was) to another area of the heavens.  Maybe that place 
    will be the 'new earth.'  Or maybe not - I really can't say for sure.

    Another point about this new earth.  It is important to consider that 
    the timeline of it's history may already be currently flowing, but 
    that the people of Earth probably will not be generally involved with 
    it, until after the millennial rule of Jesus Christ, when all of the 
    final judgments of the evil souls that are here will be made.  I 
    speculate that this may be so, in order to prevent a possible 
    spiritual 'infection' of the new earth, which will be extremely 
    spiritually clean, based on what I have personally experienced and 
    believe.

    When John the Revelator describes the new earth, he also says that the 
    'former things' (meaning the old heaven and earth) have passed away.  
    He also mentions the absence of any sea on that new world in this 
    passage.  This seems to be an area in space and time where Christians 
    need to focus a lot of serious thought, because that is the real 
    beginning of the truly problem-free future that we should all be 
    getting extremely excited about.

    I am sure that the millennium will be a wonderful era, because of the 
    rule of Jesus Christ over this world, but the future beyond it will be 
    even greater!

--- rhino.log
    Have a cup
    Wed Oct 18 2000

    This file will contain information that I consider to be extremely 
    important.  Because of the varied degrees of personal spiritual 
    experience found in whatever range of people one might consider, I am 
    assuming that many, perhaps most, readers will view the following 
    writings as speculative.  That is not the case - I cannot stress 
    enough, that I am being utterly serious when discussing these 
    particular matters.

    I have discussed demons and issues pertaining to them in other files, 
    in a fragmented sense, generally.  I want to try and fill in whatever 
    gaps may exist in the minds of people that have been reading these 
    files, concerning what I believe to be the truth about demons, and how 
    they figure into the greater picture of what is happening overall.  
    Probably, the simplest and best way for me to approach this, would be 
    to just make a list of what I think I know about topics pertaining to 
    demonic interactions with human souls, but that might be dangerously 
    oversimplified.

    When attempting to discuss evil spirits, it seems important to keep a 
    balance between simple and complex ways of considering them.  The 
    danger of taking too complex a view, is that the reader may be drawn 
    into a kind of morbid fascination with the technicalities of the 
    topic, which, I am sure, can lead to possible negative spiritual 
    consequences.  Too simple a discussion, and the reader may not be 
    properly equipped to contend with the dawning awareness of demonic 
    realities (if they aren't already aware) in their minds, i.e., demonic 
    harassment and personal attack.

    I feel that this is one of the trickiest topics of all time to write 
    about, because of the fact that there is so much demonic activity, and 
    so wholesale a denial of the reality and meaning of it.  As usual, I 
    would like to state that even though I feel very sure of much of what 
    I am about to write, I want readers to consider my writings about 
    demons in light of what they are personally familiar with.

    I will very likely need to spread this topic across several files, and 
    I really don't think that anyone can thoroughly cover the subject, 
    because it is so maddeningly mysterious and complex.  I don't 
    perfectly understand these issues, of course, but I have had a long 
    series of experiences, that have convinced me of the reality of some 
    basic information, that I feel everyone desperately needs to know.  
    Again, some of this will be rehash - stuff that I've already mentioned 
    in other files, but that is well worth repeating.

    First of all, I would like to start out by saying that the very best 
    information that can be found, pertaining to demons, and how to 
    contend with them, can be found in the Bible.  Particularly powerful 
    information can be found in the New Testament.  Remember that there 
    are many instances of physical healings depicted, after Jesus and/or 
    His disciples cast out demons from people that were afflicted with 
    them.

    Which brings me to a very important point.  It seems that a very 
    complicated process of subconscious communication takes place between 
    evil spirits, and their prospective hosts, that is, people that they 
    are attempting to possess.  During this process, it is often suggested 
    to the prospect, that there will be some sort of material and/or 
    spiritual benefit to acquiescing to the sinister spirit's desire to 
    control the victim.  Again, much of this seems to take place on a very 
    deeply subconscious level.  The key thing to remember, is that after a 
    certain degree of success, the demon (or demons) will attempt to 
    present itself to the intended victim in some kind of physical form 
    (meaning a human being that has already been successfully possessed), 
    in order to attempt a more physical form of control.

    Usually (from what I believe I know), once that stage is reached, the 
    victim, if in an unguarded state, is liable to be manipulated into a 
    situation where they may be physically and/or sexually violated.  I am 
    trying to be blunt, so that there will be little confusion about what 
    the demonic techniques really are.

    I believe that the violence is intended to weaken the soul of the 
    natural occupant of the body, in order to enable the evil spirit (or 
    spirits) to enter and take control of the body and mind.  Demons do 
    these things to their victims, so that they will be able to use human 
    bodies to better express themselves in the sphere of human affairs.  
    Even without complete control over human bodies, they appear to be 
    able to wield a great amount of control over the minds of certain 
    people.  However, it seems that their abilities are greatly amplified 
    when they are able to combine with human bodies and minds.

    Perhaps the 'greatest story never told,' is the fact that the many 
    variations of this sort of evil spiritual activity (involving the 
    sadistic methodologies of demonic possession) seem to be incredibly 
    common, all throughout human history.  But, you will find very little 
    written material that plainly details the mechanics of the demonic 
    operations.  This is a testament to the great power of the shame 
    factor, which is what I believe has kept humanity in general from 
    fully exploring this topic.  Very few folks are willing to candidly 
    discuss the foul abuses involved, and that is why demonic possession 
    and how it happens has remained largely an unexamined mystery.

    Acknowledgement of the reality of the problem is absolutely necessary 
    for any significant progress to be made against the forces of evil.  
    As long as people keep their heads 'buried in the sand,' regarding 
    demonic possession, and how it occurs, the problem (and the 
    consequences of the allowance of it's continuance) will remain.

    One of the saddest things of all, is that so much of the foundation 
    for demonic possession is lain during the early developmental years of 
    children.  I have been told that most children quite literally see 
    tens of thousands of murders on television, before they are even a 
    decade old.  Considering that, along with the many other depictions of 
    immorality, makes it easy to see why demons are able to get such a 
    firm hold on the youngsters of today.  A negative spiritual 
    environment seems to make people more willing to accept the imposition 
    of the more direct demonic evils.

    Perhaps the worst thing of all, is the almost complete denial of the 
    reality of the existence of Satan, and evil spirits, even amongst many 
    people that claim to be Christians.  Such people feel that all evil 
    can be attributed solely to the evil psyche of mankind.  This is 
    something that intensely bothers me, because I see how amazingly 
    demonized our society is, and how practically nothing is being done to 
    check it.

    Things have gotten so bad, spiritually, that the 'trappings' of 
    demonic possession, in certain forms, now seem to be completely 
    acceptable to most people.  They don't even recognize what is really 
    happening, because they are so entranced with what they consider to be 
    the 'benefits' of membership in the assembly of the damned, that is, 
    the people that accept the Mystery Babylon cults, and the Mark of the 
    Beast (which I believe heavily involves those demonic manipulations) 
    that they attempt to impose upon their victims.

    Dark humor seems to greatly cloud the clear understanding of many, 
    when it comes to recognizing the Satanic goals of the forces that are 
    perpetrating the large-scale 'violations' that seem to be occurring 
    lately.  Perhaps the mystery cults and their demonic shenanigans are 
    being used as a front for the technological realities of complicated 
    psychotronic mind-control systems.  It just baffles me that so few 
    people seem to be concerned about the exponential growth of evil over 
    the years, and what the future might bring, as a result.

    At any rate, the combination of those two great evils (demonism and 
    psychotronics) can't lead to anything good.  Although both demons and 
    mind-control technology are horrible realities, our main focus should 
    be on the cessation of demonic possession, because that reality is 
    what has led to the development of many other evils, including 
    psychotronics.  If progress can be made against the evil spirits, on a 
    large scale, then the motivation of the people that have been beset 
    with them will change for the better, and we will all be able to enjoy 
    a more pleasant spiritual environment.

--- mite.log
    Open wide
    Thu Oct 19 2000

    One very seldom-discussed issue, relevant to discussions of demons, is 
    the possibility of such spirits possessing detailed knowledge of past 
    ages that is totally inaccessible to human beings.  That possibility, 
    in combination with what I have perceived to be a penchance for 
    prevarication on the part of the evil spirits, probably has caused a 
    great deal of confusion throughout the ages, whenever questing souls 
    have foolishly decided to seek occult information from such dangerous 
    spiritual sources.  No doubt, they lie a lot to the people that make 
    the mistake of trusting them.  That's probably one of the reasons why 
    there are thousands of complicated (very likely demon-inspired) 
    occultic theories and sub-theories.

    Although I have never tried to hold a seance or other type of occultic 
    ceremony, in order to try and contact evil spirits in a formal sense, 
    they most definitely have pervaded my thoughts (without being invited, 
    you understand) at various times over the years, mostly in situations 
    where I did not expect them to.  On some of these occasions, I 
    experienced a wide range of very unusual internal psycho-spiritual 
    phenomena; highly charged irrational emotional states appear to be 
    induced in some people, when demonic spirits are at play.  I know this 
    very well, and even though I don't feel very comfortable discussing 
    it, I think that I should say something about what I feel this might 
    mean.

    From the fragmented information that we can gather from the Bible, and 
    other related texts, it appears that the demonic spirits are the souls 
    of creatures that are called the Gibborim in Hebrew.  All of them are 
    the progeny of angelic beings that disobeyed the Lord, by coming down 
    to Earth, and cohabiting with antediluvian (pre-flood) human women.  
    The exact technicalities of how it transpired, I cannot provide - it 
    appears that there has been a lot of debate amongst people that bother 
    to consider this information, and I can't say with all certainty that 
    I have a definitive theory of my own.  What is important to focus on, 
    is that demons, as we know them today, are the disembodied souls of 
    those beings, that once had material bodies.

    The Apocryphal books that deal with the subject of what happened 
    between the disobediant angels and the pre-flood people of Earth tell 
    us that not only did the angels have sexual relations with women, but 
    that they also brought down knowledge of many arts and sciences that 
    were completely unknown before their arrival.  Sorcery, warcraft and 
    the art of personal adornment are a few of the major 'gifts' that the 
    fallen angels of that age brought with them.  I have always considered 
    this to be intriguing, because it must mean that they carried that 
    knowledge over from some other arena, where they themselves must have 
    acquired it.  Seems logical to me.

    One of the most hair-raising passages in the Bible (at least to me), 
    is in the book of Jude, where a short segment of text reminds us of 
    the angels that left their 'former estate.'  If those angels departed 
    from a completely non-material realm, how would they have been so 
    familiar with earthly forms of science, like herbology?  Maybe they'd 
    been involved with other material realms at some point in the past, or 
    perhaps they would have been able to devise everything once they were 
    on Earth - I really don't know.

    They must have had to create (or maybe 'borrow') fleshly bodies, in 
    order to mate with human women.  Or, maybe not; again, I can't say for 
    sure.  Anyhow, after the Gibborim are produced, the affairs of the 
    world are greatly disturbed - everything changes; it appears that the 
    Gibborim created a lot of havoc, and we are told that they began to 
    devour many animals, and finally, even humans!

    It all sounds pretty sensational, and it is - that's probably why a 
    lot of the early church officials decided to omit the works (one of 
    them is the book of Enoch) that covered these matters.  I think it's 
    all utterly fascinating, because, at least for me, it seems to shed a 
    great deal of light on some of the infernally evil spiritual 
    'vibrations' that I have experienced at times, which I believe is 
    mostly being generated by the demons.

    Obviously, those times must have been highly charged with all kinds of 
    powerful emotional energies.  We are actually told that the Gibborim 
    were also known as the 'mighty men' of old, and that some of them were 
    seen as legendary heroes.  Read through Genesis and see for yourself; 
    it's right before the story of the Flood.

    The pandemonium that was caused by the Nephilim (disobediant angels) 
    and the Gibborim must have been a big part of the reason why the Lord 
    decided to send the flood upon the world.  God laments that 'all flesh 
    has corrupted it's way,' and this seems to suggest that there was a 
    high degree of biological disorder.  I don't think that the simpler 
    confusion that can result from ethnic intermarriage is what is being 
    discussed.  I am pretty sure that the Gibborim are what really got the 
    Lord angry enough to send down such destruction.  The Lord expresses 
    regret that He even created mankind at all.

    As crazy as it might sound, I even once saw a mainstream Christian 
    television program that covered this topic.  One of the speakers 
    suggested that the ages before the flood might have been populated 
    with some of the odd creatures that are depicted in our classical 
    mythology, like minotaurs, satyrs, centaurs, etcetera, and that they 
    might have been created by the wicked angelic beings, who very likely 
    would have possessed the ability to manipulate biological forms to 
    such a frightening degree.  We ourselves may now be able to create 
    such amazing creatures, but you won't hear anyone discussing that 
    openly, at least not in the major media.  Some of us believe that many 
    fantastically horrible genetic engineering 'experiments' may be taking 
    place, in hidden facilities.  But that is another story.

    I can't explain why the Gibborim turned out to be such diabolical 
    beings, and I also can't explain a lot of other things, like why so 
    many people decide to gleefully offer up their minds and souls to such 
    intensely violent, objectionable creatures.

--- voltage.log
    Love one another
    Fri Oct 20 2000

    When the Bible uses the appellation 'Father of Lights' to refer to the 
    Lord, that is exactly what is meant.  All true spiritual illumination 
    is from God, and there is no real wisdom to be had outside of Him.  
    This is because the path of true wisdom eventually leads forwards and 
    upwards to higher levels of spiritual radiance.

    I say eventually, because, in this current age, certain aspects of 
    wisdom can lead to a temporal state of woe, which will ultimately be 
    cleared away by the new light of the glory to come.  The important 
    thing that anyone considering my particular situation needs to 
    understand, is that I literally know that this is true - I am not 
    simply theorizing about it.  I feel extremely fortunate to have been 
    allowed to have the glimpse of the greater state of being that awaits 
    all of us that love the Lord.

    I know that what the Lord has promised us in His word is true; I am 
    not just hoping that it will be so.  This doesn't make me any better 
    than others, who are faithful without having had any sensational proof 
    manifest in their personal lives.  I am just very, very lucky to have 
    been blessed with this knowledge, although it is also a curse, in a 
    sense, because it is so incredibly difficult to share with others.

    I have no concrete proof to offer, other than the fact that I have 
    described my near-death experience to dozens of people throughout the 
    years since it took place.  I have tried to be cautious in expressing 
    my beliefs, because there are some uncertainties involved; I have 
    already mentioned this in other files.  What matters, is that I 
    honestly did have that experience (about ten years ago), and as a 
    result, I am now absolutely sure that God is real, and that a 
    wonderful afterlife awaits those of us that love the Lord, and welcome 
    His mercy towards us, by accepting Christ into our hearts.

    The mystery of how the simple acceptance of Christ makes such a huge 
    difference in one's spiritual future, I cannot fully explain.  I must 
    say that even though I was a Christian at time of my near-death 
    encounter, I believe that there were some subconscious doubts in my 
    mind, regarding Christianity in general.  Perhaps this was partly due 
    to the fact that so many conflicting opinions are expressed amongst 
    all of the different Christian denomination.  I don't feel that my 
    belief in the existence of God and Christ were in doubt, just some of 
    the technical matters pertaining to Christian ritualism and dogma.

    What I would like everyone to understand, is that the salvation that 
    we are offered by God through Jesus Christ, is actually very simple.  
    This is what I discovered, wordlessly, when the love and forgiveness 
    of God entirely enveloped me during my near-death experience.  All of 
    the wonders of the world can't compare to the excellence of that one 
    moment, when you finally discover that God sincerely loves you, 
    despite all of your sins.

    It seems that human beings find it very difficult to forgive each 
    other for their shortcomings and transgressions, and much of what we 
    call love is highly conditional in nature.  In human society, there 
    are often many complex rules and regulations that have to be met, for 
    the flow of love to begin.  What is so amazing about the Lord, is that 
    He is willing to forgive us for our evil nature, and love us fully 
    anyway.  It is important to remember that He asks us to follow His 
    example, by forgiving others for their trespasses.

--- pill.log
    Hard to swallow
    Thu Oct 26 2000

    Had a lot of emotional and psychological fluctuations over the past 
    few days, so I decided to stop writing for a bit.  I've been reading 
    through some text files that are drawn from a book entitled 'Deeper 
    Insights into the Illuminati Formula,' by Fritz Springmeier and Cisco 
    Wheeler.  Really interesting material; a lot of it verifies some of 
    the beliefs that I have had about certain spiritual and political 
    problems that have been worsening over the years.  Some of the stuff 
    is very weird.  I haven't read the entire text, but what I've finished 
    thus far is really fascinating.  That book, and others like it, should 
    be required reading for the people that mock those of us that have 
    been trying to warn everyone about the complexity of the coming 
    massive psycho-spiritual darkness.

    Something that I promised myself I wouldn't ever mention has been 
    bothering me a lot over the past week or so.  Since I am about to 
    mention it, I should bother to find some scriptural references to back 
    up the theory, but I'm not going to do so, because I feel that it 
    would be best for anyone that is interested in this topic, to go and 
    do the research themselves.  The reason why I internally agreed not to 
    write about these possibilities, is because they are especially bleak 
    and dismal concepts to ponder upon.  If what I am about to discuss is 
    actually the truth, many people might be extremely disturbed, to say 
    the least.

    Ok, here goes...  There are quite a few places in the bible (again, I 
    am not going to point out specific passages - do some research, and 
    you will discover them for yourself) where mention is made of people 
    that appear to be predestined for condemnation.  The best example of 
    this that I can think of, is a passage where the Antichrist is 
    described as the 'son of perdition.'

    The Antichrist isn't the only one that is destined for eternal 
    damnation; in Jude, we are told of people that are 'ordained to this 
    condemnation,' (meaning false ministers, that teach lasciviousness in 
    place of righteousness) and in various other sections of the Bible, 
    mention is made of folks that are seeds sown by Satan, who will 
    eventually find their way into the consuming flames of the fiery 
    furnace.  This suggests to me that there is a high degree of fatalism 
    involved in the unfolding of the endtime scenario.

    Also, it is explained to us in another scriptural segment, that the 
    Lord actually doesn't want certain people to better understand the 
    truth of the gospel, lest they repent and be saved.  As I have pointed 
    out elsewhere, the destructive endtime events depicted throughout 
    Revelation will kill well over half of the Earth's population.  I'm 
    certain that a significant number of those victims will not be saved 
    into the Lord's kingdom.  None of this is good news, of course.  What 
    all of this adds up to, apparently, is that a great many people are 
    not going to be delivered from the eternal damnation that awaits them.

    The point that I am trying to make, is that since we are also told 
    that the final cycles of this miserable age will involve the final 
    descent of the rebellious angelic forces, and the ascent of the 
    demonic forces (perhaps even into material forms, as in possibly 
    genetically engineered 'alien' bodies, and/or other physical lifeforms 
    that may eventually appear), perhaps what this means, is that some of 
    the people that are being 'possessed' by evil spiritual forces at this 
    time, are in fact demonic or fallen angelic spirits themselves, that 
    have been 'born into' fleshly bodies, rather than the innocent victims 
    of the attempts of evil spirits to possess them.

    I am fairly certain that some people truly are tragic victims of 
    demonic manipulations, but the omnipresence and prevalence of 
    intensely evil energies all throughout the world has me feeling that 
    there is a more powerful, tangible form of evil at play at present, 
    and that some of the people involved are not being simply puppeted by 
    the spirits of spiritual blackness, but are avid participants in the 
    entire infernal process that is going down.  There really seems to be 
    a grave problem, from top to bottom, regarding societal acceptance of 
    some very sinister, and quite literally Satanic customs and rituals.

    If you dare to speak out loudly against such foul realities, the least 
    of your worries will be being made fun of.  Things have 'progressed' 
    to the point where one very well may be risking death, just by 
    decrying what has been happening.  This is what I have been 
    experiencing, in a spiritual sense (death threats) for a very long 
    time, and I feel that it is important for me to mention this fact.  
    The evil spiritual forces and their human slaves are no joke - not in 
    the least - and people will eventually be killed outright for opposing 
    the sickening occultic things that are happening.

    I have tried and tried to talk to many folks about these serious 
    matters of deeply entrenched spiritual wickedness, where I feel it is 
    leading us in general, and why I feel so strongly that it needs to be 
    utterly stopped, before there is no chance left for us to collectively 
    recover ourselves to saner levels of societal conduct.  If you really 
    consciously stop yourself, and think hard about the particular details 
    involved in the horrible cultic activities of the 'system,' there 
    won't be much that will make sense in a in a rational explanatory 
    framework.  Truly sane people simply would not do the kinds of things 
    that the Satanists do.  As far as I am concerned, the reality and 
    presence of Satan is the only way to explain what is going on, and why 
    virtually nothing is being done to stop it.

    Just focusing on the United States:  out of 250-odd million people, 
    there should be at least a million or so people that have some 
    intimate knowledge of the vile Satan-worship cults, and what they do.  
    And out of that amount of people, there should be a small handful of 
    'heroes,' that would be willing to stick out their necks, so that 
    others might be encouraged to pull their heads out of the sand, and 
    come to a clearer understanding of what is really developing.  
    Although I feel that I fall far short of being able to call myself a 
    hero, I would like to think that I am doing a small favor to the world 
    in general, by trying to explain what has happened to me, and what I 
    feel it may mean.  There are many other individuals out there, that 
    have stories similar to mine; some of those people are sharing their 
    terrible ordeals with the public, but I suspect that most of them are 
    not.

    It seems that people are scared of Satan, and his network of power.  
    Those people really need to be scared of the Lord, because, remember, 
    it is God that is going to ultimately destroy Satan, and all of his 
    sick slaves.

    The Lord has called us to be brave, and to stand up against evil, in 
    all it's forms.  I believe that most people are mildly evil to some 
    degree, and that may be part of the reason why so few of us are 
    willing to loudly oppose the more high-level wickedness that is so 
    out-of-control nowadays.  Everyone considers their own personal 
    palette of committed sins, and then they subconsciously estimate 
    themselves as being unworthy of opposing evil in general.  People 
    would rather nurse their own evil history, and passively observe the 
    worsening of the greater situation, than deal with the risks involved 
    with attempts at spiritual bravery.  I understand.  I am very familiar 
    with the phenomenon of cowardice.  I have seen many amazing examples 
    of it, during the course of my life.  Buck buck buck-caw, my 
    chickadees.

--- alas.log
    I'm a soul man
    Fri Oct 27 2000

    Although many people might think that I am utterly daft for saying so, 
    I really do believe that some of these people are actually demons or 
    fallen angels incarnate.  No doubt, there have been profoundly evil 
    and treacherous souls all throughout the course of history, but their 
    prominence in the modern scheme of things suggests to me that we have 
    an especially serious problem at this present time.

    There are many other reasons why I feel that this may be so, and to go 
    into great detail, regarding what those particular reasons are, would 
    be rather taxing for me, spiritually and emotionally.  Really, this is 
    the main point that I have been trying to work up to.  Several files 
    ago, I mentioned that I have had many experiences, mostly of the 
    internal subjective variety, that I felt were extremely difficult for 
    me to understand and convey properly, at least to my satisfaction.  
    The main mystery in my mind, is what the real meaning of this class of 
    experiences actually is.

    These internal thoughts, many of which went well beyond the ken of 
    ordinary thinking processes, by becoming something much more like 
    holographic movies that featured the perspective of the perceiver 
    (myself) within them, have deeply puzzled me over the past few years.  
    Again, I haven't written much about them, because I haven't been able 
    to come to definite conclusions about many of them.  The tentative 
    conclusions that I have reached, are pretty disturbing to me, and I'm 
    sure that they'd bother other people.

    I am sure that there are other folks that have had similar strange 
    internal thinking processes, because of what I have noticed over the 
    years.  In fact, there probably isn't much difference between some of 
    my peculiar thoughts, and those of others.  Very few people would be 
    willing to discuss these thoughts, because of the disturbing 
    implications of them.  There'd probably be many more people that would 
    be willing to discuss all other kinds of 'paranormal' phenomena, but 
    this stuff is really freaky.

    Now, of course, I have salted these strange thoughts heavily with 
    critical thinking, logical evaluation methods and doubt.  But, the 
    essence of them seems to survive, even after years of weighing them 
    carefully against what is generally accepted as 'reality,' which 
    excludes the existence of many unknown factors that would have to be 
    proven to be actualities, for these speculative matters to be fully 
    legitimized.

    Just thinking about all of this has me feeling profoundly disturbed, 
    and I haven't even begun to get to the point.  I don't know if I'll 
    get around to fully describing what I'm getting at, in this file, but 
    I eventually will.  Hopefully.  I've got that gnawing, black void 
    feeling in my guts again.

    Before continuing, I'd like to say that although I feel that there is 
    at least some legitimacy to these perceptions that I have been 
    mentioning, I am unsure about how exactly my soul and personality fits 
    into the entire picture of what I'll be discussing.  I have had some 
    very unusual spiritual (and other types of) experiences over the 
    years, and I know for sure that the presence of evil spiritual forces 
    is a hard reality.  Because I know that evil (in the form of malicious 
    spirit beings) truly exists, I also know that the possibility for 
    spiritual deception should be carefully considered.  As I have said 
    many times before, I don't want to be responsible for spreading 
    confusion, so I ask the reader to consider these matters critically, 
    rather than just believing blindly.  Ask God about them, because He 
    knows the truth of all things.

    I believe that the profoundly negative events that have occurred in my 
    life over the past five or so years, were engineered by some intensely 
    evil Satanic forces.  I am not kidding when I say this, because, 
    again, I know that they actually do exist.  I am not speculating about 
    whether or not they are realities - I know that they are real.  The 
    main reason why they have caused these unfortunate events to 
    precipitate upon me, I believe, is because there must be something 
    about my set of experiences prior to this current phase of negativity 
    that I am enduring, that in some way threatens them and their 
    spiritual power over the masses.

    Some people will think that I am being sickeningly grandiose by saying 
    that, but it is how I actually feel about all of this.  Nobody can 
    perfectly understand why I feel this way, because only I can perceive 
    my life subjectively.  I don't expect many people to understand.  I'll 
    just put it this way:  if Satan and his masses feel that anyone 
    represents a potential threat to their dominance, they probably issue 
    a kind of 'discredit and destroy' proclamation against the person or 
    people involved.  Most people are probably not that difficult to bring 
    down in some way, because of the fact that all of us have been raised 
    under this intensely hypnotic negative culture, which seems to be 
    filled with sinful spiritual motivations, and the sorrowful results of 
    them.

    How I may represent a threat to them may not be apparent to most 
    people, but I understand why very well.  I know that there really is 
    going to be a very real resurrection of the dead, and I know that 
    there is some particular place that the resurrected souls will be 
    brought to.  This might not seem to be all that threatening, and many 
    people might argue that there are tens of thousands, perhaps millions 
    of people that have had near-death experiences.  Why would I feel that 
    my story might be more intimidating to the Satanic forces?

    Honestly, I can't say exactly why.  It has puzzled me greatly.  One 
    possible clue as to why, that I have festered on a lot, is that my 
    particular near-death experience seems to be slightly different from 
    accounts that others have given.  I have mentioned this in another 
    file:  I did not have a 'rushing' sensation, or feel drawn through any 
    kind of tunnel towards a light.  In fact, the beginning of my 
    near-death experience was incredibly negative, but then developed into 
    something indescribably wonderful.  I did encounter a light, which I 
    believe was a spiritual personality sent by God, as well as two others 
    that were similar, one of them equivalent to the first one, and the 
    other more powerful.  They all manifested as featureless (at least 
    from my perspective) spheres of light, and they were extremely kind, 
    and able to communicate telepathically amongst themselves, and with 
    me.

    That experience threatens the evil spirit forces that are currently 
    ruling here on Earth.  I know this, because the spiritual hostility 
    that I began to perceive, after I found myself returned to this body, 
    was very noticeable, and has persisted to the present day.  This is 
    the main reason why I feel very strongly that I was transported 
    spiritually to someplace in the kingdom of God.  I certainly can't 
    offer much proof to anyone that this took place, but I am personally 
    pretty sure of it.  Once more, the best proof that I have, for myself, 
    that this occurred, is the tangible hostility that I often encounter 
    when I even simply think of all of this in the company of spiritually 
    beset people.  The demons that occupy many folks will often cause them 
    to become noticeably uncomfortable when I even just think of that 
    experience, so, for me, there isn't much doubt about the existence of 
    the kingdom of God, and the reality of demons, angels, spiritual 
    resurrection, etcetera.

    Probably the greatest source of puzzlement to me, has been the 
    blizzard of weird phenomena that seemed to take place after I sent a 
    copy of my book of poetry (Odhinn Voodoo Buddha) to [NAME DELETED].  
    Even much later (I sent it about five years ago), there seems to be a 
    lot of weirdness surrounding it.  I could write pages and pages about 
    how I put that book together, and what I was feeling as I wrote it, 
    odd things that happened during it's construction, etcetera, but I'll 
    save all of that for future files.  Just how I devised the title, is a 
    very interesting story unto itself.

    Another source of puzzlement, is that even though I am sure that 
    plenty of people have completely read the book, including prominent 
    publishing executives and literary agents, not one of them has sent me 
    any kind of comment on it.  It's not that I think that it's such a 
    great piece of literature, because it isn't; it just seems to merit 
    some kind of response, from at least one or two people.  I have 
    received no response at all, from anyone.  It's almost as if nobody 
    has read it.  Ha.  This was an aggravating fact to me at one point, 
    but I now feel extremely amused by it.  There's so much that they 
    can't understand about that book, because they haven't bothered to 
    discuss it with me.

    I have digressed again; now I'll continue along with what I originally 
    intended to cover in this file - the strange spiritual possibilities 
    that I have been considering.  Since I know that a soul can be carried 
    from this world to another, I believe that it may be possible that the 
    reverse could also happen.  I believe that Satan and his angels, at 
    one time, actually had a 'place' of their own in the heavens.  Now, 
    whether that place was a material planet, alternate dimension, or 
    whatever else, I cannot say for sure; the Bible tells us that after 
    the war with God, Satan's place is 'found no more,' and he and his 
    angels get cast down to Earth.

    Here is where I get redundant (I've already mentioned this many times 
    in other files).  Satan and his angels are described collectively as 
    the Dragon in the bible.  In a file that I wrote many years ago, I 
    described seeing a very amazing sight in the sky (to the right of my 
    field of vision, over the lakefront, but near the downtown area), of a 
    bank of fluffy clouds forming into the shape of a dragon, and then 
    into something that looked a lot like four very bright white 
    dodecahedrons, three of which were in a row, with a fourth off to the 
    side.

    Just prior to seeing this, I felt an extremely oppressive spiritual 
    force, that said to me quite clearly, 'are you looking for a savior?'  
    As I heard these words (voiced telepathically into my mind), it 
    appeared that the sun was descending from the sky upon me, through the 
    branches of a large tree that I was laying under.  As this took place, 
    I felt a great pressure upon my chest, that was similar to what I felt 
    right before my near-death experience.  I then felt a kind of frantic, 
    dismayed feeling in my mind, and a few other things that I won't 
    mention at this time.

    These types of negative spiritual encounters have definitely 
    reinforced my beliefs about the reality of the arrival of negative 
    spiritual forces from elsewhere, wherever 'elsewhere' is considered to 
    be.  Those forces are real, and they are very dangerous.  Do not 
    accept anything from them, because they are the Lord's enemies.  
    Remember, Satan is described as the 'prince of the power of the air,' 
    and some of us know what that means.  Take heed.

    We are also told that the Antichrist is going to be controlled by 
    those evil spiritual forces, and that his power and authority will be 
    given to him by the Dragon.  I have been trying to warn the reader 
    about the reality of the existence of those evil forces.  They are 
    extremely real, and one mustn't accept anything from them, because to 
    accept even the slightest 'gift' from them may put your soul in grave 
    jeopardy.  The Lord is not joking around with us; He does not want us 
    to serve the Dragon.  People that decide to do so, will be eternally 
    destroyed.  Think it's funny?  The people that poisoned me are perfect 
    examples of the Dragon's servants, as best as I can tell.  Do any of 
    you want to spend eternity in hell with Satan and his servants?  Just 
    serve the Dragon, then.  You will go there, and you will stay there.

    Because I have had so little success, in my attempts to warn people 
    about the reality of these issues, I have felt deeply despondent at 
    times.  My personal life has suffered tremendously because of this.  
    What little personal life I have left, that is.  Most people don't 
    want to hear about this bad news (the reality of the existence of 
    spiritual evil), and at a certain level, I can't say that I blame 
    them.  It is depressing to know these things.

    To get to the real point, I will say that I feel that almost the 
    entire world is under the sway of Satan and his angels, and that our 
    current systems of political (and other types of) authority are almost 
    entirely run by the Satanic forces.  What I am saying, is that it 
    appears that the devil has been doling out much of the world's 
    'authority' over the past few decades.  The saddest part about it, is 
    that the legions of people that have been accepting that authority 
    don't seem to clearly understand that they may be losing their souls 
    to Satan, because of their acceptance of authority from him.  I know 
    that Satan offers power to people, because he and his agents have been 
    continually trying to get me to accept power from them, throughout 
    much of my life.  There seem to be a lot of takers for what Satan is 
    offering.

    So little opposition to the worldwide dominance of the Satanic system 
    makes me seriously consider the possibility that some of the 'players' 
    involved are not just victims of evil spiritual possession, but actual 
    demons or fallen angels themselves, guised in human flesh.  Perhaps 
    some people are actually reprobate spirits, born into fleshly bodies.  
    I really don't know for sure, but it seems possible, and it would 
    explain a lot, at least to me.

    I can't emphasize enough how important I feel these issues are.  If 
    what I suspect may be true, actually is, it is one of the most 
    important things of all time for the world to consider.

--- smart.log
    That won't do
    Fri Nov 10 2000

    Every day provides me with more evidence that there is a great need 
    for all people to understand at least the basics of spiritual 
    self-defense.  It really seems to be more important that ever before.  
    I could get into a long, tiring discussion about the manifold ways 
    that folks are being continually assaulted, psychologically, 
    emotionally and spiritually, through the media and other channels, but 
    it's not worth the effort, because there are tons of engrossing 
    articles and books already written, by folks that are far more 
    eloquent at articulating the information than I.

    Anyone that cares already knows about all of the dark energies in this 
    civilization, and the deep problems that are caused by their presence.  
    I know that most people don't realize how specifically targeted they 
    are, as individuals, by those negative forces, but eventually, 
    everyone will.

    Those of us that have had a more miserable 'walk' through this life 
    know well how disturbingly 'specific' the darkness can get, and how 
    difficult it can be to handle gracefully, or at all.  The complexities 
    involved in a particular person's situation vary greatly, I'm sure, 
    but there seem to be certain commonalities that should be carefully 
    considered.

    When the forces of evil begin to strongly lean in on you, it seems 
    that very real personalities are assigned to ensure a certain degree 
    of continual harassment, spiritual and/or otherwise.  Whether or not 
    those personality forces are purely spiritual, or if there are, in 
    certain situations, human counterparts to them, I can't say for sure.  
    I strongly suspect that I have both kinds at work against me at this 
    time.

    Anyone that reads this, and says to themselves, 'Boy, is this guy 
    paranoid, or what?', just doesn't fully understand the amazing depths 
    of evil in this demented age.  It would be nearly impossible for me to 
    completely convince everyone that I have been being continually 
    harassed by some sort of evil task force, but I believe that is 
    exactly what has been happening.

    Now, again, I am not completely certain whether my sufferings have 
    been caused by solely spiritual forces, or in combination with human 
    efforts (perhaps involving psychotronic technology), but everything 
    seems to suggest that both have been at work to cause me various 
    classes of problems.

    The main reason why I am sure of this, is the constant phenomena of 
    people in the media being 'in tune' with what has been happening in 
    this household.  I firmly believe that there is some kind of powerful 
    bugging system installed in this home, and that there are people that 
    are actually providing information about what is happening here to 
    others.  As unbelievable as it may seem to many people, they even seem 
    to be able to access information on my computers, none of which are 
    connected by phone lines to outside networks.

    I've already discussed this in other files.  What I haven't mentioned, 
    is the fact that it has caused great mental stress to precipitate upon 
    me, beyond my ability to fully convey it.  In short, the reality of 
    the people that have been spying on me, has filled me with absolute 
    fury.  I would hope that anyone else that might find themselves in 
    this kind of situation, would feel the same.  Nobody has the right to 
    violate my privacy.  None of the perpetrators would enjoy this sort of 
    thing happening to themselves, unless they were absolute imbeciles.

    It's not just the annoying fact that the jerks have been spying on me, 
    but that there literally appears to be some kind of elaborate network 
    of people involved, that quite possibly, have made themselves a lively 
    business out of these types of illegal espionage activities.  Once 
    again, I know that this sounds extremely paranoid, but I'm pretty sure 
    that it has been happening, and that it involves communications over 
    the the Internet in one form or another.  My constant prayer, is that 
    the Lord will powerfully rebuke all of the people that are involved, 
    particularly the people that are most directly responsible for this 
    heinous invasion of my privacy.

    If it were the intelligence agencies operating alone, then there 
    wouldn't be the phenomenon of the wide array of people being aware of 
    my personal conversations and activities.  I mean, from the highest 
    political figures, to the hosts of the 700 Club, to folks that you 
    meet at the public library - come on.  It's ridiculous and insane.  
    Another thing that makes me intensely angry, is that I know that our 
    intelligence agencies could easily stop this illegal espionage 
    operation, but apparently, they have decided to allow these little 
    'games' to continue, for God knows what reasons, maybe because they 
    find my discomfort entertaining.  I really don't know.  I do know, 
    that from my end, this has been a very draining, depressing 
    experience, one that I wouldn't wish upon anyone.

    Where do these people get off thinking that they have the right to 
    violate my privacy?  They don't have the right, plain and simple.  
    However, convincing them of this is a challenge.  If I am correct in 
    my estimation of this situation, if there really is some kind of spy 
    network impinging upon my life, obviously, they are extremely 
    unconcerned with general ethics and morality, and far more interested 
    in abusing power for their selfish reasons.

    That those people would perpetrate their system of evil by using 
    low-life manipulation tactics of the type that I've encountered 
    doesn't really surprise me.  The world is full of wickedness of all 
    varieties, and has been all throughout recorded history.  What 
    startles me somewhat, is the fact that so very many people appear to 
    be involved in this current phase of unrighteous imposition upon my 
    private life, and that none of them seem to be willing to speak 
    against these kinds of invasive indignities.

    I have read a great many articles dealing with people that claim that 
    they've been victimized by intelligence agency mind-control programs.  
    Almost a decade ago, my friend [NAME DELETED] began described problems 
    that he'd been having, along the same lines.  He was convinced that 
    there was some type of very unusual intrigue in his life, and that 
    some of it may have been directed by evil forces within either 
    domestic or foreign intelligence agencies.

    This is what I believe has developed in my life, beginning in earnest 
    about five or six years ago.  I fully understand how difficult it may 
    be for most folks to believe this, because I remember well how strange 
    [NAME DELETED]'s stories seemed to me, when he began attempting to 
    describe the ordeals that he'd been through.  He seemed extremely 
    paranoid and irrational at times, and there appeared to be a lot of 
    fear involved as well.  Initially, I couldn't believe much of what he 
    was describing, although his explanations regarding exactly why he 
    felt that he was being manipulated seemed somewhat believable.

    Over the past decade, [NAME DELETED] has been investigating technology 
    involved in advanced weapons systems that the Department of Defense 
    has been researching and developing over the past several decades.  
    For many years, he was submitting proposals to a subsidiary of the 
    DoD, known as SBIR (Small Business Innovation Research), in the hopes 
    of obtaining funding for several projects that he'd been envisioning.  
    For instance, one of his projects had to do with creating a portable 
    electronic device for graphically evaluating the electromagnetic 
    spectrum for hazardous emission ranges.

    [NAME DELETED] spent a lot of time putting together his proposals, and 
    apparently, spent a great amount of time on the phone with people 
    within various governmental agencies, such as the DoD, CIA, FBI, 
    etcetera.  He also received a great amount of printed documents and 
    microfilm from various agencies, all of which was of an Unclassified 
    clearance, but which still bore strange seals and warnings.  I got a 
    look at a few of the documents that he received, and although most of 
    them only covered basic scientific research stuff, a few of them 
    contained some pretty amazing information.

    The Unclassified material, in theory, should be obtainable by almost 
    any American citizen, because of the FOIA (Freedom of Information 
    Act).  It makes you seriously wonder about the levels above (there are 
    about four or five, up to 'Top Secret,' and then a few beyond even 
    that), for sure.  I understand why the government was so deeply 
    concerned about the possibility of high-level defense information 
    being leaked to the Chinese.  Even the lowest level of American 
    defense information (Unclassified) contains some very advanced, 
    eyebrow-raising stuff.

    If more people knew how legitimate the concept of psychotronics was, 
    there might be a lot more of an uproar over the possibility of 
    involuntary human experimentation by our government and private 
    sector, utilizing these amazing new technologies.  SInce the concept 
    of psychotronic technology has not been generally disseminated to the 
    public by the media, people are largely ignorant of the reality of the 
    technology, and as a result, a lot of very evil situations, involving 
    psychotronic technology experimentation, may have been allowed to 
    transpire.

    And, as I've mentioned in other files, I believe that details of some 
    of the situations have been extremely obfuscated by being carefully 
    wrapped within the foolishness of the fraternal cult 'traditions' that 
    I've been continually railing against.  I am certain the the two 
    people that brought on the beginning of this evil situation ([NAME 
    DELETED] and [NAME DELETED]), are the servants of Satan.  It's obvious 
    to me.  Anyone that would do the sort of thing that I believe they did 
    to me, would have to be possessed by demons or fallen angelic powers.  
    It goes without saying that the Holy Spirit would never motivate 
    people in such a way.

    I am convinced the the Spirit of God is totally against the 
    'traditions' of man, which are actually the traditions of Satan and 
    his family.  Furthermore, I believe that the destruction that lies in 
    the future will be manifested largely because of the negative 
    spiritual results of fraternalism, and the ugly reality of the dark 
    operations of Satan's devotees.  None of this is imaginary, it is all 
    very real.  Trying to get the system's 'participants' to squarely face 
    the facts is right next to impossible, but those of us that understand 
    these matters must keep trying, up to the very end.

--- rails.log
    Rollin' round the bend
    Sun Nov 12 2000

    I have deliberately avoided writing about many of the experiences that 
    I have had over the years; I have mentioned this many times before 
    throughout these files.  Much of what I haven't written about concerns 
    weird dreams and other odd waking impressions that I have had over the 
    years.  A lot of this stuff would be difficult to write down in a 
    rational manner, because again, there's a lot of extremely subjective 
    personal interpretation involved, that might make little sense to 
    others, and thus I'd be risking seeming fairly irrational (which may 
    already be a problem, in the minds of some, but it would worsen 
    considerably if I wrote about the other stuff).

    I just woke up a while ago, after having yet another strange dream, 
    which seemed to suggest several very disturbing things to me.  Many of 
    these dreams that I have been having (what I can recall of them upon 
    waking, at least) seem to be interrelated, and certain details 
    strongly suggest that there are common themes at play amongst them.

    Although I am really worried about being misled by something as 
    seemingly insubstantial and ephemeral as dreams (this is why I have 
    largely stopped writing about them), I recall that we are told in the 
    Bible that various people would have significant dreams and visions 
    toward the end of this age, and so, I am trying my darndest to make 
    some sense out of these vapors.  Hopefully, there is some sense to be 
    made out of them.  If there is, I certainly want to figure out what it 
    is.

    Well, this particular dream found me walking along a wide dirt road; 
    on the left side there was a chain-link fence, with people behind it 
    that appeared to be involved in some kind of construction project.  
    What they were building seemed to be rows of long single-story 
    bungalows, of the type commonly found in military installations.  I 
    reached some kind of gate ahead, situated in a portion of the fence 
    that jutted outward to the right from the main fence, and passed 
    through.  I continued walking along and realized that the people that 
    were involved in the construction seemed to be either (i'm not certain 
    of this) mocking or jeering at me.

    How it was, is that at first, they seemed to be laughing at me, and 
    then it quickly changed into something more like jeering, if that 
    makes any sense.  I then thought to myself 'fools,' and kept walking.  
    I also noticed that they seemed to be contained within the fence, 
    almost as if they were prisoners.  But, the funny thing, is that at 
    first, it 'felt' (you know how dreams are) like they were something 
    like military construction authorities, and then they suddenly seemed 
    more like prisoners, building their own camp homes.

    I kept walking along, and reached some railroad tracks that spanned 
    far off into the distance, left and right.  There were two sets of 
    tracks, that I assumed were for the usual incoming and outgoing 
    trains.  Now here is a slightly strange part.  I crossed the tracks, 
    after, I believe, carefully looking left and right to make sure that 
    no trains were approaching.  I believe that there was a row of tall 
    hedges running all along the length of the tracks, on the other side, 
    so I couldn't see what lay beyond the tracks and foliage.  Now that I 
    think of it, I'm not even entirely sure if hedges were involved.  
    Let's just say that there was some kind of obscuring element involved, 
    that I can't accurately remember.  It might have been hedges, trees, 
    mist, or something.

    Anyway, I crossed the tracks, and then passed the obscuring element.  
    Here, I very vaguely recall seeing either a large prison-like 
    building, or an extensive camp-like compound of some sort.  I really 
    hate to be this indefinite, but I'd be lying if I tried to describe it 
    in more detail.  Here's what sort of bothers me:  I can't remember 
    anything more about what was beyond the obscuring element.  If I 
    dreamt anything at all about it, it completely vanished after I woke 
    up.

    But, I do recall subsequently returning from that area, and reaching 
    the tracks again.  See, what I am trying to (very awkwardly, of 
    course) explain, is how certain segments of my dreams seem to be 
    selectively 'blotted out' at times.  This phenomenon makes me wonder 
    whether there might be more significance to the dreams where these 
    aggravating (and often, seemingly deliberately evoked) lapses occurs.

    Upon reaching the tracks, I again looked in both directions to make 
    sure that no train was approaching.  This time, a train was 
    approaching, from what was now to my right (but which had been to the 
    left when I was traveling in the opposite direction).  The train was 
    about two or three miles away, because the emerging light was very 
    small.  I heard no noise, and I should have mentioned earlier that the 
    atmospheric surroundings seemed to suggest an indefinite (dusk or 
    dawn), dimly-lit time of day.

    I crossed the tracks, and walked along the same path again.  This 
    time, I noticed that there was another chain-link fence to the left 
    (formerly the right), and that people were also behind it.  However, 
    they were not involved in any construction project.  They seemed to be 
    just kind of standing around.  There were some buildings too, similar 
    to the ones that were being constructed on the other side.  I suddenly 
    seem to remember that there were multi-story buildings being built on 
    the other side, that I hadn't previously recalled.

    As I neared the gate, a young person, I think male, left a group of 
    people and walked alongside the gate towards me.  When this happened, 
    I noticed two things.  The first, was that there seemed to be a kind 
    of magnetic, slightly hostile sensation happening between his mind and 
    mine, almost like a kind of mental arm-wrestling.  I have frequently 
    encountered this kind of sensation in my dreams, especially over the 
    past few years, and it nearly always involves some sort of strange 
    character.  The person seemed to be trying to 'will' me to speak with 
    him through the fence, but i refused to do so, and kept walking toward 
    the gate.

    Right as I was nearing the gate, I turned and looked at the fence.  
    That was when I noticed that the young man behind the fence seemed, 
    well, disturbed.  I also noticed that he had very dark blue hair.

--- eperdo.log
    All opposed say nay
    Thu Nov 30 2000

    Visited [NAME DELETED] yesterday; he spent the entire afternoon trying 
    to access the Internet, to no avail.  He believes that there is some 
    individual or group that is intercepting his online activities.  He 
    explained to me that the software from the service provider that he 
    uses creates 'cookie' files that contain complete info about his 
    online 'trail,' and that, theoretically, cyber-spies might be able to 
    monitor his activities by simply reading through the data contained 
    within.

    If, of course, they were able to somehow access the files through his 
    online connection.  I have read accounts that other people have put 
    forth, regarding techniques that might be used to digitally spy on an 
    Internet-connected person.  There are utilities that can be used for 
    such purposes.  They are not imaginary; they actually exist.  In fact, 
    I have some experience with the concept of cyber-espionage myself, 
    although it is rather limited.  When I was in my sophomore year of 
    high school (was that ever an interesting time, let me tell you), the 
    little computer room had about a dozen networked terminals that were 
    constantly being manipulated by kids that were utilizing simple 
    assembly-language utilities.

    Any modern network administrator knows well that the activities on any 
    particular connected terminal can easily be remotely monitored.  
    That's what networks are all about, really.  The same situation 
    applies to the Internet, and online activities in general.  If there 
    is a reason for anyone to be interested in your web-surfing actions, 
    and if they have the technical know-how and access to the right 
    software and technology, then you can be sure that there is a good 
    chance that you'll have problems with the data snoops.

    Anyhow, again, [NAME DELETED] spent all afternoon trying to log on to 
    the Internet, and was never able to get a successful connection.  
    Apparently, some kind of activity was happening, involving his hard 
    drive being remotely accessed, because the drive and modem lights were 
    frequently flickering, while nothing at all was happening on the 
    screen for long periods of time.

    It seems possible and likely that there might some kind of espionage 
    involved, because of the fact that [NAME DELETED] has been researching 
    defense-related technology for so long.  Perhaps certain governmental 
    agencies consider him to be a security risk, or something like that.  
    Even though all of the DTIC documents that he received are 
    Unclassified (as far as I know), there might be some concern within 
    the defense community.  I'm sure that the righteous people in American 
    defense understand that [NAME DELETED] is basically a good citizen, 
    with no negative intentions, but the more paranoid types might want to 
    see him in a darker light.

    [ADDITIONAL TEXT DELETED]

--- shovel.log
    Diggin' deep
    Fri Dec 22 2000

    I have been thinking a lot about the long phase that I went through 
    (approximately from 1996 to 1998), where I had a great many amazing, 
    largely internal experiences.  One of the problems that I have had 
    with this particular range of experiences, is that they were so 
    intensely subjective, that I found myself largely unable to fully 
    comprehend and convey them through my writing.  Many of them have gone 
    completely unrecorded as a result.

    Another reason why I haven't written anything about them, perhaps far 
    more important, is because many meanings that seemed to be suggested 
    to me by these thoughts, could possibly have been partially or even 
    completely inspired by negative spiritual forces.  I have tried to be 
    as careful as possible, because, as I have said in many files, I do 
    not wish to be responsible for misleading others, by putting forth my 
    interpretations of some of the bizarre spiritual events that have 
    manifested in my life.

    Also, as I have indicated elsewhere, I feel very strongly that there 
    very well may be a 'program' of spiritual deception, that is being 
    covertly directed by world forces that are intimately aligned with 
    demonic and/or fallen angelic forces.  There have been times when I 
    have been certain that various internal impressions have been 
    artificially imposed upon me, either by dark spiritual means, or 
    perhaps by psychotronic (electronic mind-control) technology.

    I have never claimed to be a prophet.  Even though many of the 
    experiences that I have had have seemed to be directed by truly 
    wholesome spiritual forces (some of them, I absolutely know were), I 
    have always been very worried about being deceived by evil spiritual 
    beings, and inadvertently (by conveying erroneous personal 
    interpretations of what I have gone through) deceiving others.  I have 
    no desire at all to deceive anyone.  We are warned by the Lord to 
    'test the spirits,' and I have tried to do this.  I advise everyone 
    that sincerely seeks the truth, to also do so.  I believe that the 
    only way to effectively discern what is true or false, spiritually, is 
    through petitioning the Lord directly, through serious prayer.

    God tells us that if we diligently seek Him, that He will be found by 
    us.  He also tells us that anyone that wants wisdom, only need ask Him 
    for it, and it will be generously bestowed.  The Lord tells us to seek 
    Him when we are happy and content, as well as when we are sorely 
    afflicted.  We are told that our unwavering faith pleases Him greatly.  
    I have tried to remain faithful, and as sin-free as possible.  It 
    hasn't been easy.

    This difficult trial that I have had over the past five or so years 
    has been very, very hard for me to fully understand and endure 
    gracefully.  I thank God that I have been able to remain as calm and 
    faithful as I have, but I know that I could have done much better.  
    The greatest problems I've had, have been dealing with anger and 
    resentment.  I have had to wrestle with truly monumental feelings of 
    internal wrath.

    Sometimes, the feelings would be so terrible and intense, that I just 
    knew that there was a very real evil spiritual force trying to break 
    through my soul, in order to gain control over me.  I feel very 
    strongly, that Satan and his spirits have wanted very badly to 'break' 
    me, for their wicked purposes.  To me, this is very valuable to 
    realize, because I now understand very well, from personal experience, 
    some of the methods that are used by the kingdom of Satan to gain 
    great control over individuals and organizations.

    By the grace of God, I have remained faithful and optimistic.  I know 
    that there are people that have had far more terrible encounters with 
    profoundly evil spiritual forces, but I believe that the situation 
    that I have gone through is very unique in certain respects, and 
    should be carefully considered by as many people as possible, 
    particularly by Christians.

    Despite the fact that the evil 'traditions of men' are very seldom 
    discussed in a straightforward manner, most people that have passed a 
    certain age seem to have some kind of understanding of what they 
    involve, either from their own lives, or what they have heard from 
    others, or gathered via intuition.  I know that many people haven't 
    been touched at all by the great darkness that I have, but I am 
    concerned that more people will be in the future, and I want anyone 
    that will encounter anything near the kind of strangeness and deep 
    perplexity that I have, to be fully prepared for what they'll be in 
    for.

    Because these matters are practically never clearly discussed, due to 
    the shame factor involved, they have a great power that is difficult 
    to define exactly.  I perceive that the most wicked people in the 
    world have been utilizing those sinister 'traditions' to their 
    advantage, in order to wield evil influence over folks that aren't as 
    spiritually unscrupulous.  I really do believe that many of the most 
    powerful people in the world have come 'under the influence' of those 
    abominable practices, and that many of them, as a result, are being 
    puppeted by evil spiritual beings.

    Of course, I cannot prove this to the satisfaction of many people.  It 
    is something that I know, because of the difficulties I have had in 
    coping with my own negative encounter with the sickening practices of 
    the Babylon 'religion,' and its infernal devotees.

    The most terrible thing of all, to my mind, is that there appear to be 
    large numbers of folks that claim faith in God and Jesus Christ, that 
    are also gleeful partakers of the cup of filthiness that Babylon 
    liberally dispenses.  I certainly believe that this should not be so, 
    and I hope that there are others that agree with me.  Even though that 
    system is so widespread and accepted, I feel that there may still be a 
    chance for it to finally be ended.

    We are told in the Bible that nobody can serve two masters.  We cannot 
    serve God and Mammon.  That cup of whoredoms is Mammon, writ large.  
    Everyone that wholeheartedly accepts the filthy draught from that 
    ungodly cup, will eventually be eternally alienated from the Lord and 
    His kingdom of righteousness.  It does not matter whether the 
    partakers have spent their entire lives proclaiming faith in God - if 
    they also accept that cup, the Lord will ultimately reject them.  I 
    feel very certain that this is true.

    However, I feel that anyone that finally recognizes their sins, and 
    honestly repents of them, may very well obtain a full pardon from the 
    Lord, and this is what I would like to stress, to all of the people 
    that seem to have great 'faith' in Satan's awful scheme of idolatry 
    and degrading whoredoms.  Why anyone would choose that crap over the 
    boundless goodness of God, will always be a complete mystery to me.  I 
    pray that as many of you as possible will come to your senses, and 
    fully reject the evils of that Satanic system.

--- pineal.log
    Invest in yourself
    Mon Dec 25 2000

    My mood has been improving over the past few days; I thank God for 
    this.  I believe that a certain set of psycho-spiritual exercises that 
    I have developed specifically for myself have helped me greatly.  In 
    fact, it would probably be worthwhile for me to attempt to share these 
    exercises, for the benefit of others, but I'd like to do a lot more 
    research before doing so.

    Even though there is so much complexity involved with life, and the 
    various kinds of problems that arise, almost everything can be 
    simplified greatly, and dealt with more easily.  I've had so many 
    different complicated and confusing thoughts over the past few years, 
    and all of them, more or less, stemmed from that profoundly negative 
    experience that I had about five years ago.

    I have harped on constantly throughout these writings, about that bad 
    experience, and the associated difficulties that I've endured as a 
    result.  But, really, when all of this is broken down, the main 
    problem that I have had as a result, is anxiety.  Although I know that 
    there are purely spiritual aspects to all human emotions, I also know 
    that there are physiological correlations, and that powerful emotional 
    states often are precipitated by the production (or cessation of 
    production) of certain chemicals that originate in the brain.  
    Emotional states have everything to do with the relationship between 
    the delicate chemical balances that are maintained in the cerebral 
    tissues, and the effects that they have on the neurological system.  
    This has been fairly well-documented; there's no need for arguments.

    Well anyhow, I believe that the brain can be coaxed, via psychological 
    exercises, to voluntarily produce various chemicals that will bring 
    about more desirable emotional states.  Doing this effectively, I 
    believe, involves attempts at passing over the raw strength of the 
    reactive mind to the areas of higher brain activity.

    When I am really agitated, it often feels as though there are more 
    pronounced sensations in certain areas of my brain, usually the lower 
    regions.  Sometimes they run along the lines of the conventional 
    description of a headache, while on other occasions, less easily 
    definable feelings are involved.  A generic (but far too vague) 
    description of those feelings might be 'pressures,' but a lot of 
    variation is involved - they aren't all the same.

    There are many different theories that I have about the origin of 
    those sensations, but again, to simplify, the real problem is how to 
    eliminate, or at least minimize them, so that my brain and mind can be 
    restored to a more optimal operational state.  Dwelling on the sources 
    of the problems isn't exactly a waste of time, but that's what I've 
    been spending a lot of energy on, over the past few years.  Trying to 
    determine exactly what the source of the problem is - spiritual, 
    emotional, psychological, psychotronic, political, or what.  
    Exhausting.

    Restoring my mind and soul is what I (or anyone else suffering 
    anything similar) should be most concerned with.  I have prayed a lot 
    over the years, and still do, and it really does help greatly.  The 
    Lord cannot help us as effectively, if we don't pray to Him.  This, I 
    have learned well.  The active energy of the Holy Spirit is greatly 
    amplified in combination with sincere prayer and repentance.  This is 
    most important to realize.  It may take some time for the connection 
    between the petitioning soul and the Lord to develop and become 
    strong, but with patience, it will.

    In addition to my regular prayers to God, I have also been praying for 
    specific areas of my brain.  This sort of started when I'd discover 
    bad thoughts and images surfacing while I was praying.  I'd pray the 
    blood of Jesus against them, and they'd usually dissipate immediately.  
    Eventually, I tried praying against my bad moods and mental frames.  
    Ultimately, I discovered (really very simple, when you think about it) 
    that all of my thoughts and moods originated from guess where?  Me 
    brain, of course.  So, I started praying for it, in general, at first, 
    but I soon moved on to experimenting with praying for various specific 
    localities within the brain, like the pituitary and pineal glands, the 
    hypothalamus, etcetera.  The effects of doing so can be very 
    interesting.  Anyone that takes the time to pray for their own brain, 
    will soon discover this for themselves.

--- heyoka.log
    God bless America
    Mon Jan 15 2001

    I've already covered a lot of topics that I consider to be important, 
    but there are so many other things that I could write about.  I 
    definitely don't consider myself to be the smartest or wisest person 
    around, but I do feel that some pretty important considerations have 
    been largely ignored by practically all of the folks that should be 
    worried about them.  I have been trying to at least approach some of 
    these matters, but some of them are very difficult to discuss, even in 
    writing, because they touch on extremely sensitive issues, that many 
    people, including myself, often don't feel comfortable discussing.

    There are lots of thoughts swirling around in my mind right now, and I 
    know exactly what I'd like to write about, but I'll wait until later, 
    when I feel more relaxed.  Many of the thoughts seem to have little or 
    no relation to the others, but when considering them altogether, their 
    interrelated nature becomes more apparent.

    I recently discovered that I share a certain belief with a friend of 
    mine; she also feels that the United States probably will ultimately 
    represent either the salvation or destruction of the modern world.  
    She isn't exactly a Christian, so she doesn't feel, as I do, that 
    Jesus is the ultimate hope for mankind.  Most of the various issues 
    that are rotating in my mind seem to be components essential to the 
    smoothly running machinery of the United States.

    My belief, to expand on it a little, is that if the United States can 
    become more stabilized and wholesome overall, that it will have much 
    greater power to influence positive change all throughout the world.  
    The fact that the cultural diversity of our nation represents much of 
    the entire world has a lot to do with it.  I believe that successful 
    cooperation here bodes well for the rest of the planet.  If things 
    don't go well here, the stability of many other regions will be 
    threatened.  Getting people to understand this, on a deep level, and 
    in combination with the truth of Christianity, is pretty much what I 
    am all about.

    Helping these people to understand that God must rule over our nation, 
    rather than the broad range of selfish and petty human vices, is very 
    difficult.  It is hard enough to change oneself, and it can seem right 
    next to impossible to change the behavior of others.  All people 
    should try to change themselves for the better, because it is the 
    right thing to do.

    This lovely nation has afforded so many opportunities for individuals 
    of every kind of background imaginable.  The wonder of the American 
    experiment provides hope for people all over the world.  The spiritual 
    importance of this nation, its history and people cannot be 
    underestimated.

--- concern.log
    A very large building
    Fri Mar 2 2001

    I have serious concerns about whether it's a 'good idea' to share my 
    spiritual perceptions more broadly.  I've said many times throughout 
    these writings that there are many points that I am not quite clear 
    on; I'd feel a lot more comfortable, if I knew for sure if various 
    aspects of my theories were totally correct.  Although I feel that 
    most of what I believe is absolutely valid, I am worried about being 
    incorrect in certain respects.

    But, considering everything that I've been through over the past ten 
    or so years, I feel that it's better for me to just go ahead and 
    forward these thoughts to the general public, because I have a strong 
    suspicion that many other folks have had similar intensely strange 
    experiences and impressions, and I'm sure that anyone that knows what 
    I am talking about, from their own experience, will be somewhat 
    relieved to read about what I have endured, especially because they 
    might not have the confidence to put forth the details of their own 
    unpleasant ordeals.

    Something that I have neglected to mention, largely because of a 
    deficit of confidence, is the fact that I know how incredibly 
    wonderful the spiritual atmosphere will be under God.  It might seem 
    to be very feeble to say that I lack the confidence to convey the 
    details of the far more powerful spiritual atmosphere that I know will 
    prevail under the rule of God, but those of you that are familiar with 
    the sort of internal spiritual harassment that often takes place in 
    these sorts of situations, will probably realize why it's difficult 
    for me to talk about the very real and wonderful future that lies 
    ahead, for those of us that love the Lord.

    The spiritual enemies of God, that are in charge currently, have great 
    antipathy towards the Lord and His system of government.  They very 
    sincerely hate those of us that are eagerly awaiting the return of 
    Christ.  The hate that they have for us, will be greatly amplified in 
    the near future, I believe.  Those of us that love God, need to be 
    prepared for this eventuation, because it will be very disturbing and 
    frightening, for those of us that will have to live through it.  None 
    of this is a lighthearted little game; people are very literally going 
    to be martyred for the testimony of Jesus Christ.  Much of what is to 
    come, will not at all be pleasant.  Please be ready.

--- thwack.log
    Ouch, that smarts
    Wed Mar 7 2001

    Well, I have avoided writing LOG files for most of the past few 
    months, but I'll have to start up again, because soon, I'll be 
    preparing material for a new edition of the Odhinn Voodoo Buddha book, 
    and I plan to include many of the LOG entries.  I feel that I have 
    covered most of the important points, regarding Christianity, and my 
    theories about certain possibilities, but it has been brought to my 
    attention that others might not find some of my theories to be as 
    understandable as I'd like to believe they are.

    As I have indicated many times in the past, various aspects of what I 
    believe are based on extremely subjective experiences of mine, and 
    thus, I cannot reasonably expect others to thoroughly 'follow along' 
    with what I feel may be valid information.  I have also indicated that 
    I feel that some of the impressions that I have received may be 
    partially erroneous or somewhat misleading to some degree.  I am 
    worried about the possibility of my consciousness having been 'bent' by 
    evil spiritual forces, and my perceptions having been skewed as a 
    result.  Those of you that are not fully aware of the reality of the 
    existence of the spiritual forces of evil, probably don't fully 
    understand what I mean.

    Evil spirit forces are very real.  It is incredibly important, at this 
    point, to realize that they exist, and that they are often very 
    interested in deceiving sincere truth-seekers.  I feel that I am a 
    very sincere truth-seeker, and I must be honest with all of you, and 
    explain candidly, that I know for certain that evil forces have been 
    attempting to manipulate my mind, body and soul over the past decade 
    or so.  So, I am asking all of you that are seriously considering the 
    theories that I have put forth, to pray to God, in the name of Jesus 
    Christ, to help you to accurately discern the truth of what is 
    happening between the earth and the heavens.  I am just another sinful 
    person on earth, and I want all of you to rely on the Lord, not 
    myself, for your information.  I cannot stress this enough.  As 
    strongly as I feel about certain possibilities, I must constantly 
    remind myself about the possibility of spiritual deception.  Please, 
    pray to God, and ask Him what the truth is.

--- gnome.log
    Yet must I tread
    Thu Apr 5 2001

    I have written many letters to friends and associates, especially over 
    the past few years, that detail some of the most unusual paranormal 
    experiences that I have had throughout my life.  I seem to have a 
    problem with recording some of the details within these LOG files, 
    primarily because I know that many people will eventually read through 
    these documents, and some of them, I fear, might doubt my sanity after 
    learning of what I have seen.

    I recently communicated with a woman in Dallas (that recently provided 
    me with some of the details of her own strange paranormal and/or 
    psychotronic ordeals), and cursorily described a particularly bizarre 
    situation that occurred about eight or nine years ago (early 1992, I 
    think).  I have wanted to write about that experience, and many 
    others, but have restrained myself from doing so, for various reasons.  
    I don't feel comfortable chronicling all of the details involved here, 
    so some of the information will be left out.

    Let's just say that I met a fellow that was a member of one of the 
    local motorcycle club chapters, and that he invited me over to his 
    home to meet his 'old lady,' who he said was 'a real Irish witch.'  
    When we got to his home, some very weird things took place.  How I 
    initially met the dude is a very interesting story in and of itself.

    I met up with a lady friend of mine one evening after I'd finished 
    work; she and her boyfriend picked me up from the Lawrence elevated 
    train stop, here in Uptown Chicago.  We then drove over to a nearby 
    convenience store, to buy some beer and other stuff, because we'd 
    planned to visit the home of a woman that I was dating at the time, to 
    relax and socialize.

    My friend pulled into the parking lot of the convenience store, and I 
    went inside to purchase the intended items.  I grabbed a six-pack of 
    beer from a case towards the rear of the store, and started back to 
    the check-out counter.  As I got near the front of the store, I 
    noticed that an argument was taking place, between the two store 
    clerks (a woman and a man) and a rustic-looking fellow, with very long 
    hair, piercing blue eyes, a black leather motorcycle jacket and hat, 
    and a general 'biker' appearance, for those of you that understand 
    what I mean.

    I can't recall exactly what the argument concerned, but I know that 
    beer factored into it somehow.  Oh yeah, now I remember.  The dude 
    didn't have the required amount for his beer purchase, and was 
    vehemently cursing and muttering at the clerks, because they wouldn't 
    'let him slide.'  When I saw what was happening, and realized that the 
    scene possibly could have worsened (he was darkly insulting the clerks 
    and grabbing at his jacket, you see), I offered to pay for the beer, 
    and then did.

    That defused the tension almost immediately, and the fellow and I then 
    exited the store.  We introduced ourselves to each other, and I 
    invited him over to the home of the woman that I was about to visit 
    with my other friend and her boyfriend.  We got into the car, and I 
    introduced the biker to my other friends as though I'd already known 
    him.  I then noticed that the dude had a very pronounced odor of fish 
    wafting from him, almost as if he'd sprayed tuna oil on himself in 
    lieu of cologne.  The smell was very strong, but none of us asked him 
    about it, out of politeness, I guess.

    We'd driven about two blocks west, down Lawrence, when an argument 
    developed between the biker and my friends.  They pulled the car over, 
    and demanded that the biker exit the car, but he wouldn't.  He started 
    cursing them, and suggested that he might beat up my friend's 
    boyfriend, and then hijack the car.  Of course, this immediately 
    alarmed my friends, which is why they pulled over so quickly.  I 
    realized that the biker had been drinking, and was in a surly mood, 
    but I felt that my friends were overreacting somewhat.

    After about fifteen minutes had passed, and the biker had continually 
    refused to exit the automobile, my friends started acting frantic, as 
    if they were ready to get the police involved.  But both of them were 
    afraid to exit the car, for fear that the biker would made good on his 
    promise to abscond with the vehicle, perhaps with one of them held 
    hostage within it.

    I tried to calm them all down, to no avail.  Finally, the biker and I 
    left the car, and my friends drove off.  Since the biker was fairly 
    intoxicated, and wandering about in a fairly bad neighborhood, I 
    offered to pay his el fare home.  That's when he invited me over.  He 
    didn't mention the part about his 'old lady' being a witch until we'd 
    gotten very near his home.

    They lived in an apartment in a neighborhood (Rogers Park) that was 
    much further north in Chicago.  When we got to his place, he 
    introduced me to his lady, who was very pretty, with long red hair and 
    a slightly crazed look to her.  She said very little to either of us, 
    and then disappeared into a room somewhere.  Almost immediately, I 
    noticed that there was some kind of strange energy at play in the 
    household, but didn't really think much about it.

    The biker and I sat down, and conversed about various things.  There 
    seemed to be a powerful element of melancholic sadness to the entire 
    conversation that we had, but it'd be difficult for me to define it 
    properly.  The guy had many tattoos covering his arms and body, and he 
    had interesting stories for most of them, also.  He unearthed stacks 
    of dog-eared biker magazines, that were full of bare-chested women and 
    crusty dudes raising beers at American biker rallies.  Rock-oriented 
    blues albums were blaring from a record player, all throughout.  We 
    talked and drank our beers for about twenty minutes, without anything 
    really unusual happening.

    Then, suddenly, the guy got kind of a weird look on his face, motioned 
    towards the room that his girlfriend had vanished into, and suggested 
    something to me that made me feel disturbed.  I won't go into detail, 
    but suffice it to say, that he asked me to get involved in a situation 
    that I have moral objections to even considering.  When the guy got 
    onto that track, he was sitting on a leather ottoman that was in front 
    of a large easy-chair.  I asked him why he'd even suggested such a 
    thing, and said that he shouldn't have.  He then said something to the 
    effect that he'd been involved with such activities many times in the 
    past.

    Well, I began to feel even more disturbed.  The biker then motioned 
    towards a large framed picture that was hanging on the wall across 
    from where he was sitting.  I hadn't even noticed that it was a very 
    large map of the land of Egypt.  Now, I want to emphasize that what I 
    am about to describe is absolutely no joke.  It actually happened.  
    Those of you that have read through these files thoroughly will 
    probably recall that I described a similar occurrence (in another LOG 
    file) where I saw evil spirit beings emerge from within several 
    regular human beings.  The same thing happened in this situation, only 
    it was even more noticeable and pronounced.

    The biker was sitting, as I just mentioned, on the ottoman, with both 
    of his hands on his knees, when a powerful wave of spiritual weight 
    swept over the room.  He then said something that I cannot recall 
    verbatim, but it was a comment about my soul.  No kidding.  I then 
    replied that my soul belonged to Jesus Christ, and immediately felt 
    that a counteracting spiritual force of good was present with me.  
    Right after that, the biker started fidgeting violently, and jerkily 
    batted at the air around him.  He angrily blurted out something like 
    'somebody in here is [EXPLETIVE DELETED] with me.'

    I'd kept my eyes trained on the guy, and I'm telling you, I actually 
    saw what happened next.  The dude disappeared, and I quite clearly saw 
    what I am certain was a demon in his place.  Now unlike other 
    instances where I'd seen demons emerge from within people, this time I 
    could only see the demon, and not the original person at all.  He 
    completely disappeared.  I even blinked once or twice, out of 
    disbelief, and the demon was still sitting there right in front of me.  
    It was actually larger than the biker, with the same olive-green skin 
    that I'd noticed on some of the other demons that I'd seen (prior to 
    this event), but with a much longer head, large forehead, and very 
    well-defined high cheekbones.  The demon was perfectly visible to me 
    for about two or three full seconds, and then another, much smaller 
    red one appeared for about a half second, and then they were gone and 
    the biker reappeared.

    Well, I got up and headed for the door.  When I got to the door, I 
    noticed that it had three or four different kinds of locks on it, and 
    they were all fastened.  When I asked to be let out, the biker started 
    an artificial argument with me, menacingly approaching me, and yelling 
    loudly to the woman that was in the other room, and suggesting that I 
    had offended him in some serious way.  I can't recall exactly what he 
    said, because I was intent on getting out of there immediately.  The 
    woman appeared, and intervened, allowing me to exit the apartment.  I 
    dazedly walked back to the home of the woman that I'd intended to 
    visit earlier that evening, and nervously babbled to her about the 
    experience.  Thankfully, she understood.

    This is only one of many other extremely unbelievable paranormal 
    encounters that I have had over the years, and a very good example of 
    one that I have been worried about recording for others to read about.  
    I'm sure that many other people have had similar experiences, but few 
    are willing to discuss this sort of stuff with others.  I will try to 
    write more about some other very strange events that I've gone 
    through, in the near future.

--- goblin.log
    As sure as we be
    Sat Apr 7 2001

    You know, concerning the experience that I described in the last LOG 
    file that I wrote - now that I think about it, I kind of left out some 
    of the most important information.

    There have been many times when I've felt that conversations that I've 
    had with certain people were especially 'spirited.'  Sometimes the 
    emanating spiritual energy seemed good, and on other occasions, a much 
    more sinister radiation would prevail.  Of course, the encounter that 
    I had that evening featured a lot of negative vibrations, but the 
    funny thing, is that there were some more subtle, less easily 
    definable feelings involved as well.

    In particular, I recall that during the conversation that I had with 
    the biker (right before everything became extremely weird, and I saw 
    the demonic images), I felt as if we'd known each other for some time, 
    and a few of his comments seemed to indicate that there was a feeling 
    of familiarity between both of us.  Part of the reason why that may 
    have been, is because the fellow used certain rare and cryptic 
    conversational conventions (which seem to be favored by demonically 
    possessed people) that I understand, but many other people don't.  
    What I mean, is that it's a sort of a conversational art, where one 
    thing is discussed, but really, the topic is about something 
    completely different.  Difficult to convey, but I'm sure that some of 
    you will immediately understand what I mean.

    At a certain point during the discussion that we had, he seemed to be 
    deeply depressed, and said something about how it was 'the end of a 
    era,' and that there'd be 'no more boots.'  Then, he got really weird, 
    and said that he was my father.  When I looked at him with puzzlement, 
    he said, 'does it seem like something that I'm not proud of?'  Very 
    soon after that, he made the statement about my soul, and I then saw 
    the demons.  They don't call them 'familiar spirits' for nothing.  
    Please don't get the wrong idea.  What I mean, is that it appears that 
    demonic associations seem to be inherited, to some degree.  Because of 
    the nature of what I have gone through over the years, involving 
    spiritual harassment, I am certain that the dark spirit forces that I 
    have had to contend with, may have also pestered some of my ancestors, 
    both recent and ancient.

    Why am I bothering to provide these details?  Well, primarily, I want 
    others that may have gone through similarly weird situations to 
    understand that they are not alone, in having these sorts of odd 
    encounters.  It is important for everyone to know that demons will 
    attempt to use every possible 'trick in the book,' in order to get 
    control over their victims.  Apparently, the same demon or demons can 
    operate through many different kinds of individuals, making them the 
    ultimate secret agents.  I could write a lot about what I believe has 
    been demonic activity, that I have witnessed over the years.  Perhaps 
    I will, eventually.

    Now, I must explain to the reader, that I have thought about this 
    particular situation for many years, analyzing it in various ways.  
    The main conclusion that I have reached, from careful consideration of 
    this, and other such occurrences, is that demonic spirits are assigned 
    or attached to certain individuals, perhaps quite early in their 
    lives, and that the demons travel along with the people that they are 
    obliged to beset, manifesting within the central person they are 
    haranguing, whenever possible, as well as whatever associates and 
    acquaintances of the victim they can successfully manipulate, when it 
    is convenient for their purposes.

    As to why this is so, all I can say, is that it must involve the 
    complexities of the grand scheme of life, including all of the basic 
    mysteries that many of us are concerned with, like 'why are we here,' 
    and 'what is the nature of life,' etcetera.  I can tell you all, with 
    complete confidence, that demonic harassment has caused a lot of deep 
    stress and misery in my life.  It is very important to realize that 
    many folks interact cooperatively with demonic powers, and 
    consequently don't have the sorts of difficulties that I am 
    describing.

    I suspect that most people that cooperate with evil spirit forces are 
    somewhat unaware of the reality of their acquiescence to such powers, 
    at least on a fully conscious level.  In other words, there are 
    legions of folks that sincerely believe that if they simply 'do that,' 
    (bow down in a pact of submission, to a demonic 'authority,' in the 
    guise of a normal human being that is in fact, demonically possessed) 
    that they will have an easier go of it in this world, as it is 
    currently operating, in a spiritual sense.  Most such people 
    understand, I believe, that what they do to obtain their 'power' is 
    wrong, but they'd rather focus on their 'prizes,' rather than the 
    unsavory game that they play (in order to secure their dark spiritual 
    clout).  I feel strongly that the main reason why I have had so many 
    intensely strange spiritual problems in my life, has a lot to do with 
    the fact that I have consistently rejected what I am assuming are 
    certain 'plans' that Satanic forces have tried to groom me for.

    I know whereof I speak, because those same demonic forces have 
    presented themselves to me again and again, throughout my life, 
    manifesting in many different kinds of people and situations.  
    Invariably, they have suggested that I should perform some kind of 
    objectionable act, in order to obtain spiritual protection and/or 
    power from them.  No kidding; this has been a constant feature 
    throughout much of my life, especially after I had the near-death 
    experience back in 1989.  Demons seek to destroy faith in God, and 
    they need to get their victims to make disgusting compromises, in 
    order to successfully do so.  They are very unwholesome.  Actually 
    clearly seeing the forms of the creatures that are perpetrating such 
    evil operations has been both a blessing and a curse for me.  I cannot 
    easily share what I know with most people, because many folks will 
    immediately chalk you up as a loon if you bring these matters up.

    I am not a nut.  I know what I know, if you know what I mean.  I don't 
    expect everyone to believe that what I am describing is true, but it 
    really is.  I know that there are hundreds, perhaps thousands of books 
    written on demonology and related subjects, so I know that there are 
    others that also know.  I haven't read through a lot of that type of 
    literature.  For you doubters, all I can say is that demons are very, 
    very real, but you very likely will need to have your own personal 
    experiences, to arrive at the realization of this horrible truth.