August 20, 2000
I've been thinking a lot about life in general. I don't really know where I am at in my life. Or even why I'm here. I am glad for a lot of things, yet I wish a lot could be different. School starts soon. I'm actually excited for it. It's different this year, going into my junior year. I'll miss last year's seniors a lot. They were a good group. I realize lately I've been pretty horrible to a lot of my good friends lately. I feel bad. I think I'll have to do something special for all of them. Maybe soon. They all deserve something really special.
August 21, 2000
School starts a week from today. I know you all are going to think me very strange but I'm actually looking forward to it. This year is definately going to be different though. I can't believe I'm finally an upper classman. (Do you know how much it irritates me that many words in the english language end with man or men?) Two more years of high school left. Then what?
August 22, 2000
I feel lost and really alone. I've been really moody lately and my friends are suffering. I feel bad. But I don't know what to do. *sigh* All things are lost I guess.
August 23, 2000
Well I went and got my hair done today. I am now blond. Mom and Dad both hate it. I liked it....but now I feel real horrible about it. They hate it. I'm always a dissapointment to them. *sigh* I can't do anything right.
August 24, 2000
Well I've done a pretty good job so far of keeping this thing daily. Amazing I know. Dad's birthday is today. Mom is working late because of elections. School starts Monday. I can't even say how glad I am for that. I basically already know what all my classes are going to be, I am happy with them. Summer now seems to have gone by quickly. Eric had a gig with his band sometime this past week...I hope all went well with it. I have a feeling it did. I have faith in him. Well that's all for today. I've got to go get some more laundry done. Bye for now.
August 25, 2000
Got my class schedule today. It's awesome. I have Advanced English Composititon and US History with Rach. I've got Biology 2 with Justin and Stagecrafts with Levi. We'll see who else I have classes with. My other classes are Algebra 2, Spanish 1, and Teacher Assistant for Mr. Setzer. Well got to go get stuff done. Dan, my horseshoer, is picking me up after school Monday to shoe the horses so I've got to get stuff done this weekend. There's always lots to do. Tons of love.
August 28, 2000
Well first day of school today. I went to Algebra 2, Advanced Composition, Spanish 1 and Biology 2. It proved to be an interesting day. I have a lot of friends in my classes. It is truly awesome. I had so much fun. I know tons of people in my biology class. Well anyway. Goodnight for now.
August 29, 2000
Today I had Algebra 2, US History, Teacher Assistant, and Stagecraft. A pretty awesome day really. In Stagecraft we took down the set left from the last play of last year. It was A Midsummer Nights Dream. It was a beautiful set. Our first play will be Rapunzel. It will be fun.
August 30, 2000
School today. Yet another day. The third day to be exact. Well this weekend will be the year anniversary. Hopefully I can stay busy.
September 4, 2000
I know I know. I haven't written every day but things have been so busy. Today is a difficult but I've just been trying not to think about it. I stayed really busy this weekend helping out at the Labor Day Rodeo. I rode the mechanical bull quite a bit and my thigh muscles hurt so bad now. But I had fun. Anyway. I'll try to write more. Honest I'll try.
September 6, 2000
Picture day tommorrow. *sarcastic smile* yeah! Well today has been long and short at the same time. I'm about ready for bed. I've got a Close-Up Club meeting tommorrow. I'm feeling really anti-social for some reason. I don't know. I've been feeling really mellow since Saturday night and suddenly people are just getting on my nerves. *shrugs* Maybe I should just stick to my horses and my writing. We'll see.
September 17, 2000
I know I know. I've been horrible about writing. I've been busy. Homecoming is soon! First week of October. I love homecoming. I worked this weekend at the Ranch Hand Rodeo. It was fun. A horse stepped on my ankle so it hurts a bit but I'm alright. Anyway. Off I run again. Almost time to feed the horses! Hopefully I'll talk to everyone soon!
September 20, 2000
Well...not much to really say. Things are incredibly busy. People are morons. Well most...except a few. You know who you are. I have one word to say to one person right now and that person will know what I mean...Risen. Bye for now.
September 21, 2000
Minimum day today. It was nice. Got out of school at 12:15pm today. My ankle still hurts. More than anything though I am feeling very VERY embarassed today. If you know why, that's all I have to say. If not, well don't ask. Anyway. I'm getting frustrated since I can't get logged on to my messanger. The service is to busy. Stupid thing. Well anyway. It's been a decent day. Could be better but hey, that's life. Hope everyone is doing well.
September 28, 2000
Well I've been sick for about two days. It sucked hard core. But I guess guys love when something sucks hard core. ;) Sorry, I'm being a little mean. Guys aren't on my number one list right now and to make my mood worse I think my best guy friend is mad at me right now. Or maybe he's just feeling regretful at the moment. Who knows? Homecoming is next week. I'm excited for that. I'm taking this guy Ben, hopefully. He's an awesome guy. Real nice. He's a good dancer. He makes me laugh and is just generally fun to be around so I think we'll have a good time. As I said, I hope. Right now I'm just really hopeing my best guy friend isn't mad at me...or feeling regretful, we'll see. Who knows? I might just be paranoid. He might just be busy. He always says I worry to much. Hopefully he's right. Anyway. I have a spanish test tommorrow so I best go study. Night all.
October 13, 2000
Have you ever really looked around you and really seen what was there? I've been doing a lot of that lately and suddenly I realize how truly alone I really am. There are so many people who seem to trust me. They tell me their problems, calling me day or night if something is bothering them. Yet, when the time comes that my tears begin to fall and my heart aches something badly, I am alone. This is something I have dealt with for a long time. It is just now that I have really realized it though. I don't ask for much, I don't expect much. I would just like to get at least a little something in return for what I give. Please, tell me, am I asking to much?
