Gabe's referral photo
Our two youngest daughters both entered a developmental preschool at age 3. Christine for developmental lags in language and gross and fine motor skills. Josepha because of her physical disability and need to learn adaptation. Christine remained in this program for 3 years (an extra year was needed to catch up) and she entered kindergarten as a 6 year old. Josepha stayed at the preschool 2 years and spent 1 year in an academic pre-k program at age 4. She skipped kindergarten, based on testing and IQ scores and entered school as a First Grader at age 5. Both girls are in the same grade now; Christine attending regular public school receiving speech and Josepha in a self contained, multi-age level enrichment program taught at an accelerated pace for highly capable students. They continue to be best friends.

During these years, I helped a friend, our girls preschool teacher, by caring for her little boy adopted from Korea. Andrew was born with one arm and shoulder missing. I started caring for Andrew within days after his arrival from Korea. He was 10 month old when he arrived in September, just before the school year began. He and I and the girls formed an instant bond and we adored him. After Andrew moved on to preschool, the girls and I felt a huge void in our family and started talking about adopting a little brother of our own. Andrew's life was God's way of touching our hearts to be receptive toward a child that really needed a home.

There is a special story I would like to share regarding my care for Andrew. After Andrew went on to preschool there was a week his Mother called and asked me to babysit again for him during a school break. Ironically, I had just said a prayer for that very thing to happen! My husband came in from work one day and told me of a sad story of a young soldier in his company who's wife was just told she had breast cancer. To make matters worse they were hard-pressed trying to make ends meet financially. He said they were at the breaking point and had very little food in the house for their two kids. I prayed that I could find a way to raise some money quickly for this family. Getting the call that Andrew's mom needed a babysitter was a Godsend. I made a $100 for the week for babysitting him and sent the cash anonymously through the mail with a brief explanation:

When I first cared for him, I felt it would be hard to accept a child that drew so much attention because of his missing limb, but that was before I got to know Andrew. We quickly attached and he became very dear to me, and I never thought of his limitations, only his abilities. He was very capable little guy and it was easy to forget he had anything different about him. When we decided to adopt a little boy I actually searched for a child much like Andrew at first before letting go of that control and allowing God to guide us.

During the time I cared for Andrew I remember having this unexplainable interest in teenage pregnancy. Near our subdivision of homes, there was a rundown apartment complex with people with transient lifestyles living there. I drove past this complex daily on my errands and taking the kids to and from school and noticed one day a young couple move in one of the apartments with a baby. There after, I couldn't help myself, and began looking on with interest each time I drove by and pondering the personal situation of this young couple with an unexplainable curiosity. I couldn't quite figure out why I was so interested. It was during this time my heart became softened to the plight of teenage pregnancy. Earlier in our marriage, my husband and I spent 15 years between us working in NY State's social service system with juvenile delinquents in trouble with the law; runaways, truants, JD's. It wasn't until this particular time however, that I really contemplated the plight of teenage pregnancy and took their struggle to heart. It wasn't until much later that I found an answer to my Curiosity.

While searching the internet one day, I came across this little boy, Woo Hyuk, living in a Korean foster home and was profiled on Precious In His Sight It was love at first sight! More than that, I felt I was looking into the eyes of my precious new son! I took one look at him and felt I knew him. Here is the actual profile I read:

This beautiful little boy is thriving in his foster home in Seoul. He is a baby who responsively laughs and enjoys babbling and smiling. He makes good eye contact with his foster home and his muscle tone is good. Developmentally he is doing well and reaching all expectations. A brain sonogram and MRI shows that he has a cyst (non-cancerous in the frontoparictal area) which will need removal (by surgery or drainage) and it also shows that a portion of the corpus callosum is not well defined. If you are interested, please contact a Pediatrician or a pediatric neurologist for a medical explanation of these terms.
UPDATE: This little guys foster mother wants everyone to know that he is absolutely wonderful and she can't understand why he doesn't have a family He is walking, with a little assistance, and good natured, sits alone and plays well and developmentally doing everything expected of a child his age.
UPDATE: Some exceptions to the government requirements may now be granted on a case-by-case basis.

I immediately wrote the agency, Americans For International Aid and Adoption (AIAA) and they ask that I submit our last homestudy to them for consideration by Korea. At this time, Korea was unwilling to make many exceptions to their adoption requirements for this little boy. We were too old and had too large a family. I accepted this and spent the next 8 months in prayer; not for my will as much as for God's help for this little boy. I kept his profile page on PIHS saved as a 'favorite' and returned to it often. Over 10,000 visitors had come to his page and reviewed it! Two different times during my 8 months of waiting and praying I saw he was placed on HOLD for a specific family. After waiting close to 3 months from the time he was on hold the second time, I felt an undeniable urgency to call the agency again and find out his standing. I called in the early morning just before I was heading out the door for weekday mass during Lenten season. Agency staff said that they had not made contact with this family in quite some time, and that this family had all WooHyuk's medicals and were to consult with a Pediatric Neurologist. They agreed it was time to contact them today and see where they stood with their decision to adopt this little boy.

I went on to church that morning with our youngest daughter, who was not attending preschool that day and sat in the second row during mass. I could not get this little boy off my mind and so I prayed. I prayed to God for peace over the outcome that I might hear from the agency when I returned home. At communion, two amazing things happened that confirmed the outcome of my feelings for this child. Father Dick, our Parish Pastor was serving communion and I watched as his hand hesitated over the dish of communion and seem to deliberately seek out a triangular piece which was broken on the alter during the Eurcharist preparation. Father knew nothing of our desire to adopt again and I felt it was more a message from God. As I returned to my seat an overpowering sense of love embraced me and I was given a message within my heart that this little boy was indeed about to become our son. I felt I was to know that he was a gift from God and that somehow Andrew's life was involved in the giving. When I arrived home there was an email from the agency notifying us that the other family would not be moving forward with WooHyuk's adoption and the agency had already faxed Korea our homestudy again for consideration. We heard back in less than 24 hours that we were the chosen family for WooHyuk! This came as knowledge I already knew since God had already confirmed it in my heart; nonetheless, I was filled with joy. The baby photograph below, we received from Korea 5 months later, and WooHyuk's gentle-natured smile reminds me so much of Father Dick's smile. After seminary, Father Dick became a Columbian missionary priest and was sent to Korea, serving there for 15 years. He often uses the experience and inspiration he acquired while living in Korea in many of his sermons. He holds within his heart great love and respect for the Korean people. Father Dick has written a children's book called Mao Fen and the Tiger, illustrated by Mardelle Paulsen and it is set in a fictional land somewhere on the Asian continent and is the story of a young Asian girl who first fears, and then befriends an injured tiger; a parable about loving our enemies.

The adoption agency social worker had visited Woo Hyuk three or four times in Korea and tested his cognitive development as well as physical. This was what she had to say about our son:
"This little guy is incredible. Not only does he sail through the eight months - he was about eight and a half months when I saw him and did a developmental- not only does he sail through the eight months, but he sails through and does everything, except poking with an index finger, on the nine to eleven month age. I see him as developmentally ahead of himself in comparison with all of the other children that I've seen. I see him as developmentally ahead of the other children I see at his age that are in foster care. There is no way if we had not had a neurosonogram that I would have had any indication whatsoever that there was any concerns about this child. In fact, all indications are exactly the opposite."

It had been reported that, during a neurosonogram on his birthmother before his birth, doctors picked up "supersonic waves" on his brain. A brain MRI was done shortly after his birth and then again a year later. We brought these findings to our Pediatric Neurologist for a consult. He told us that these were most definitely Arachnoid cysts and both were attached to his brain. They were communicating with one another, which meant that they were filling with fluid and probably draining into eachother. He said many people go through life with brain abnormalities and live normal lives and it wasn't until autopsies were done on the brain that Doctors realize this. His diagnosis was helped because of us having two MRI's, taken a year apart, that enabled him to make a comparison between the two, to form an accurate diagnosis. He felt he was going to be fine and would need surgery to drain the cysts and put in a shunt. Our son was developing normally in all areas and had undergone numerous developmental tests while in Korea. We really felt that God was leading us and felt a reassurance from Him that our little boy was going to be fine.

Next concern was the financial aspect of this adoption. We did not have a cent saved and were still paying off other adoption expenses for the past 4 years. As I stated on the page before with Christine's adoption, we were living from hand to mouth. This hadn't changed. The confirmation of God's design and purpose in this adoption that I received during that Lenten mass was exactly what I needed to get me through WooHyuk's uncertain adoption. My husband was a little more skeptical, but was growing to believe that God does work in our lives in mysterious ways. We held our breath all the way through this adoption regarding the money aspect of it.

We immediately started working on our homestudy update and I applied and received a grant from the Ibsen Adoption Foundation, which generously agree to pay our social worker for our homestudy update and three post-placement reports. Our agency required a two-part, psychological evaluation, one written and a person-to-person interview with a psychologist. The fee was $150. I had a problem with this because I felt the Agency should pay the fee, since this wasn't a routine adoption requirement and this had never been asked of us before. We had no problem with taking the testing, just felt our references and standing in the community spoke for itself. In the end, the agency did pay the bill and we took it and were surprised to find that we both checked out perfectly normal and tended to lean toward the compassionate and humanitarian category.

The fees were quite reasonable for Gabriel's adoption. The intercountry fee was only $5,500 (reduced from $9,600) and the agency fee was $1000 (reduced from $2,500). Travel was $1,800 for escort service. I wrote the Ministry of Health and Social Welfare at the Korean Embassy in Washington D.C asking for help regarding the finances of this adoption.

I received a phone call from Consular Moon who said he received my letter. He asked me questions about our motives to adopt sp needs children, and how our children from Korea were doing with their special needs. When satisfied, Mr. Moon thanked us profusely for our interest in adopting the special children in his country and said he would handle the fees and that the next time I heard anything it would be good news. Our US Agency was not very happy with us for going behind their back. (that's an understatement!) We got a call from the Director warning us not to do this again. Within a few short days we heard that the Social Welfare Society, WooHyuk's Korean placing agency, was willing to waive Woo Hyuk's entire intercountry fees after hearing from the Embassy officials. Our intent had always been to pay the agency fee but they volunteered to waive their fee as well. Our agency further helped by reducing the $1,800 escort service fee to only $1000. We paid the INS filing and fingerprint fees and we finalized our son's adoption Pro Se and obtained a new birth certificate, all for only $132. The Military Adoption Reimbursement Program provided us reimbursement on all the expenses we paid out for our son's adoption. In the end, this adoption cost us no money. As a matter of fact, we couldn't even claim the entire $2000. reimbursement through the military because we were only out $1,600. God had provided for all our needs and gave us this beautiful little boy as our son. He truly was meant as a gift from the Lord and God wanted to see that we understood that. If you're in the adoption process and struggling with the issues associated with affording the expense, pray.

Gabriel's name was decided 8 years before his birth when we visited the country of Romania. We made friends with a Romanian/American man that had left Romania and became a US citizen at age 18 and was serving his new country in the military in Germany when we were stationed there. Gabriel Preda impressed us with his deep commitment for family and country and compassion for the people and children left behind in Romania. He had a deep, abiding spirituality, which radiated from every choice he made in life. I knew upon meeting him that if ever God graced us with another son; his name shall be in honor of this man. Gabriel Preda was very good with language. At the time we met him, he was able to speak in 4-5 different languages fluently. Is it a coincidence that our son; Gabriel, is very language oriented and was speaking full English, beyond his age level, 4 months after arriving from Korea. While in Korea as a toddler they wrote, "this child speaks and understands Korean well above his age level." The Angel Gabriel is also a very special angel, being present and helping during the birth of Jesus Christ.

'Woo Hyuk', Gabriel's Korean middle name, stands for 'Rich' and 'Great'. I am told by Korean standards, it is considered a very powerful male name. Do they know that this child will grow to be rich and great one day? Gabriel works for a talent agency and has been depicted in Microsoft advertisements, Seattle Sonics commercials and toddler books on education. It is our hope, that with our guidance, Gabriel may use these attributes through his spirituality. He has spoken of becoming a priest like Father Dick.

Once home, he underwent a Cat Scan and numerous appointments every 3 months with a Pediatric Neurologist and a Neuro-Surgeon. They both agreed that, since there were no physical symptoms, they would take a cautious approach. No surgery was recommended, just observation and head-size measurements for the next 2 years, along with developmental testing & screening. At this time he was given only a 5% chance that they would ever affect him. They felt they would have seen some tale-tell signs by now if symptoms were to appear at all. We were told what to look for incase symptoms did arise, loss of balance, nausea, irritability, headaches, dizziness and loss of appetite. Our little guy continued to surpass his age-level for cognitive, fine & gross motor skills, language and physical height and weight. I had him tested at age 3 with our school's 'Child Find', which is a program that sets out to detect any delays & concerns in children prior to entering kindergarten. Our son tested above age level on these series of tests as well. My husband and I did have some anxieties during our son's first couple of years of adjustment into our family. Flu and virus-like symptoms did take on different meanings for us for awhile. We were unsure the first day or two after he came down with something if it was a virus or symptoms associated with the brain cysts. We had been reassured that if symptoms did appear, there was time to react and get him seen and possibly into surgery. We had been told that 'if' surgery was necessary, the cysts could not be removed because they were attached to the brain. They would have to be drained and a shunt put in. There were times that we broached the subject of 'mood swings' and our son's 'high-energy' level with his Neurologist, wondering if they could be associated with his condition. He was a happy-go-lucky guy for the most part, but you could almost sense a difference in him some mornings, right from waking up. Those days he would be defiant and argumentative all day long. His doctor reassured us they have nothing to do with the brain cysts, and we've come to realize that having a child with a disability such as this, you can easily mistaken a lot of normal childhood behavior as something other than it is. We were just reading into it too much because of our anxiety over the cysts. We do feel very fortunate that his cysts were located in an area that causes him no harm or symptoms. We know of other parents with children with brain cysts that are in areas that do show up in symptoms related to academic, emotional, physical & behavioral issues. After two years, his Pediatric Neurologist saw him for the last time and gave him a clean bill-of-health. He no longer sees a specialist. The cysts remain, fill up and drain on their own, causing no problems or health risks for him. They could just eventually dissolve, but his doctor doesn't believe this will happen. In any event, we have all but forgotten he's ever been diagnosed with them because he is such a 'normal boy.' He can play any contact sport, but his Doctor recommends he wear a helmet for soccer, which is one of the leading injury causing sports. Believe it or not, he loves to break dance and his Doctor says that will not harm him, spinning on his head!

Gabriel's adjustment was different from any of his sisters. He was a sweet, gentle little boy, but also had a cocky nature to him as well. I don't think he ever heard the word 'no' (an-e-o) in Korean. I surmise this may have had something to do with him being raised by a grandmotherly women in a male dominated society. He also experienced more trauma in his disruption between Korea and America because of the age he was placed with us as a toddler and the loving, supportive foster home he left behind. His security was rocked and uprooted. We were not the 'saving angels' as we had been with our 3 daughters, coming from orphanage life. We were seen as intruders in his life. To this day, he has held a deep abiding love for 'oma' within his heart. I have no qualms with allowing her that place in his heart. It is exactly what makes our child so loving and sensitive. She was his 'saving angel' coming to him in a time in his life when he needed her. The impression she made on the first two years of his life is irreplaceable and essential in order for Gabriel to make new and lasting attachments. We had to go very slowly with our son because of his sensitive nature. As a result, he slept in our bedroom for a full year in a toddler bed at the foot of our bed. It took him much longer to settle in and form a full attachment. It was a rocky road; two steps forward, one back. Many times I thought he was there, only to find that he wasn't. Almost two full years to completely feel he was fully attached to our family! I can remember the exact day it happened and what he was doing. He just suddenly accepted us. He felt he belonged! His decision was verbal, it was demostrated with warmth, happiness, physical overtures. More importantly it was noticed in ever ounce of his being. It was just visible to anyone watching his adjustment. When that day happened it was full and complete. Thank heavens we loved him and were so devoted to him right from the start because we had many difficult days at first. God's design and purpose of choosing us to become a family was full and completely designed by God's very own hands. Read about his adjustment A Toddler Adoption

It was about a year after Gabriel came home that I realized that my unexplained interest in teenage pregnancy were feelings I felt right at the time WooHyuk's birth mother, a teenager, was pregnancy. Odd that it took me a year to even come to this conclusion, when I had read that information on his child study report a long time ago. God works in mysterious ways, and I don't know why it took me that long to make the connection, but perhaps it wasn't important to recognize until later. In any event, it confirmed anew that this little boy was chosen for us and that each child brought into a family, whether by birth or through adoption is truly with the design and purpose of God's very own doing.

After two years, he has been given a clean bill of health and has a 5% or less chance they will ever affect his development. This amazing little boy is a wonder; build with a very masculine body, he is strong, agile, coordinated and is able to learn and excel at anything taught him. He is advanced academically and gifted with a special ability in music. He can hear a song once, sit down and play from sound. Since he arrived home at 21 months, he could hum a tune and it was obvious which song he was providing the melody for. We have an expensive keyboard at home that he enjoys playing on and puts out quality music that is beyond his years. The level in which he concentrates on his music is something to behold in one so young! He is a gentle natured child that has a gift of spirituality that was evident by his preschool teacher who honored him with the class 'prayer award' for being the best prayer during circle time. He aspires to grow up and serve the Lord in religious ministry. His departure profile, written up by his Korean social worker described WooHyuk as "a magical child." And what a wonder he is!

I hope our story of faith offers encouragement to others that may be interested in adopting a child with some unknowns. Sometimes God does call us forward in a 'leap of faith' with adoption plans, even though we may not initially feel directed that way. Our answering 'yes' to this little boy and the first two years of uncertainty over his medical outcome has enriched our lives, made us stronger individuals and deepened our faith. You may have an idea about which child you would like to adopt, but with that, should come an understanding that God has known all along which child is to be yours. Adopting a healthy child does not necessarily mean that's what you'll get. Being receptive to 'his call' with adoption leads us down uncharted paths, but with joys unimaginable as well. We never imagined ourselves as parents of disabled children, but now we know something that all parents learn adopting children born with birth defects. These children are very close to the Lord and are instruments of God's love in the world. They are here to 'teach us'. That is what God can do and does

"Then you will be scattered like seed, for the kingdom of God is like a newly-plowed farm. Each of you will be planted in other soil, for no sowers sows all his seeds in one place but casts it against the wind, letting the wind blow it where it will. God has made you dancers in the desert, musicians in a silent night and artists of colorless lives. God prepared for you a lavish banquet in a famined land, a bountiful table int he wilderness. Soon he will send you forth to spread the fire of His Spirit."
The Little Monk
by Harry Farra

For my husband and I, and many suffering from infertility we are wounded by the suffering and sacrifice we experience firsthand before we fully understand what God is asking of us. The loss of three children is a scarring indeed and many have a far greater loss in their life. It is only through our weakness we were finally able to find our way toward surrendering our will over to God's purpose and design. It was the will of God to bruise us until we surrendered. For it is in weakness we find the greatest strength. Jesus himself, received a divine wounding and by His wounds, we ourselves are healed.

We have tried, since Gabriel's adoption to adopt other children. A little boy in China, named Bo Sheng with a heart defect, a toddler boy in Korea, Park Son born with brain agenesis, a few children in the US foster care system, and Ryan from the Philippines. Now we are able to put ourselves out for these children and see where it leads, without the emotional upheaval we've experienced in the past now that we are able to give God more direction in our adoptions. When I look back, I can see how clearly evident it was, that during the most difficult times, I was not alone; God was there beside me, holding me up.