Sir Guy, noble lord, my always lord
I see you standing at the castle gate
Dark hair curling about your collar
Mailed fist on the hilt of your sword
Every inch of you caressed in leather
Wolf's-head buckles across your chest
Sleek muscle rippling in every movement.
You are lithe and graceful as a panther
As you leap astride your horse
And fly out once more to face danger
While I must wait here, my heart in shadow
My eyes clouded with the fear you may not return
Every day the same terror of hearing
That the light of my days has been snuffed out
Sir Guy, noble lord, my always lord
So many years have I watched you here
While you, all unknowing, lead your life
Unaware of my very existence.
Ah, but Sir Guy, to serve you in silence
Is all my desire, the only wish of my heart.
When you are absent this castle is death to me:
I might as well be walled up in its dungeon
For all light is gone, all joy in being alive.
The only pleasure I know is the look in your eyes
Eyes that have never seen me, I'm sure
And yet I wait and hope and long for your safe return
Knowing that nothing less will still my pain
Nor quench the ache in my heart
Sir Guy, noble lord, my always lord
Every clatter of hooves upon the cobbles
Is a dagger in my breathless heart!
The hope and the fear commingled that it might be you:
Hope that this time mayhap you will see me at last;
The fear that once again your eyes will pass through me,
Those sea-bright eyes that only light for another.
Oh, how I envy her, how I have always envied her
And would so gladly give what she denies you!
How can you remain faithful to one so false?
Why can you not see the girl by her side
Whose heart could never be false to you?
Whose every action would be to please you
And never deny your demands as she so wilfully does?
Sir Guy, noble lord, my always lord
I hand you your goblet and for one brief second
I feel the brush of your gauntlet against my skin
Would to God it were your hand!
Warm and tender as I know it could be
As I have dreamed of it a thousand times:
I would lift my eyes to your face and find you smiling
Your thin lips curved, your eyes glittering.
I have imagined that desire in your face so oft:
The dark shadows of your face lifted by love
The wicked glimmer of lust in your smile
In the ironic lift of your eyebrow.
I have longed for that subtle summons
Every day since first I saw you
Sir Guy, noble lord, my always lord
Forgive me my fantasies, my feverish dreams
But what is a girl to do when a dark angel
Smiles so sinfully in her direction?
Capture one glance and weave a tapestry
Of unspoken desires and heart-felt longing...
You, who have no idea of my hunger for you
Nor never shall while your eyes remain unaware:
I wish you could see me just once!
I know you are not so faithful to my lady as you pretend
Why can I not be your companion of the hour?
One night in your arms, my lord, is all I ask.
I know it would never suffice to slake my need for you
But I would cherish the memory forever
Sir Guy, noble lord, my always lord
I have seen you alone in your chamber
Spied secretly upon you in your sleep
Watched the dreams pass across your face
And prayed that just one might be of me.
Oh, my lord, how I have longed to touch you
Run my fingertips over your lovely face
Follow the line of your proud neck
Over the contours of your pale chest
Feel the softness and warmth of your skin
The sculpted beauty of your strong arms
The graceful power of your shapely thighs
And then for you to sigh and ope your eyes
For me, just once, my lord, for me!
Sir Guy, noble lord, my always lord
I look at you in terror but you smile
And I feel your strong arms enclose me
You hold me down against you and I swoon –
To be so close to you at last is heaven on earth:
I have waited so long for this moment!
As your lips seek out mine my eyes fill with tears
And your adored face is a blur of shadows once more
Oh, to lie here forever with your breath on my face
To feel your mouth hunger for mine
Your hands insistent and demanding
Yet asking nothing I would not willingly give
Every moment of my life, merely to serve you:
I am yours, my lord, for now and always!
Sir Guy, noble lord, my always lord
I dream alone, I wake alone, and yet
My head is full of thoughts of you as ever
Another day dawns when I may hope
This will be the day you see me, it will!
And light will pour into my aching soul
And resurrect me in the power of your love.
My lord, my love, my secret wonder of life
I would you could know my heart,
That I dared confess to you the passion I feel...
Instead I walk alone, serving she who loathes you
Knowing your thoughts are all of one so unworthy!
I know what you want from her she cannot give
Why cannot you see that I would give so much more?
Sir Guy, noble lord, my always lord
Summoned me to his side this night
Uttered to me those longed-for words
And shared with me that ached-for light
The passion in his sparkling eyes
Lit for once this night for Lucy
He claimed me for his rightful prize
Held me close and loved me truly
Took my childhood, dried my tears
Stirred my body, soul and heart
Swept aside my maiden fears
In the pleasure of love's art
And as the morning's light I see
I know his heart belongs to me!
[17th January 2009]
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