Oh, and one other thing...
Mood:  irritated
ROLL CALL!

Everyone, and I mean everyone reading this had better comment. I know you people are out there, and so far, Amanda's the only one commenting. I'm not posting again until I see comments. NO MORE PASSIVE READING!!! If you don't know how to comment, here's your primer: At the bottom of each message there's a line of small type. Click on "Post your comment." That will take you to the "comments" window, which will contain the entry you are commenting on, and any current comments. At the bottom of that window is a form. Enter your information: name, email (optional), website (optional). Then type your message. When you're done, click the "continue" button. This will bring up the refreshed "comments" window, with a preview of your comment. To finalize your comment, click "post", to change your comment, click "edit". Get it? Got it? GOOD! Now you have no excuse. :)

The Bog of Eternal Stench
Mood:  smelly
Props to anyone who knows the origin of my title.

I've introduced Jim to the wonders of blogging. We'll see what he does with it. In the meantime, I've coined a new term: quasi-Orthodox. That's my religion. As I only make it to church about once every 4-6 weeks, and I'm certainly not participating wholeheartedly in the fast, I think it's appropriate. Oh, and I'm living with a man I'm not married to. I'm just one big no-no.

If you're wondering about the significance of my title, here's what you've been waiting for. I work in a "historical landmark" (read: old building). As such, it is only natural that the plumbing is, shall we say, archaic. Well, the owners aren't doing much to keep it up to standards, and as a result, it's not doing so hot. We are frequently inundated with what Jim calls "swamp gas", meaning sewer fumes. They're so strong today that the little headache I had when I got here has blossomed into a doozy. Thank God for Tylenol. Anyway, that's what made me think of the bog of eternal stench. Now you know....the rest of the story.

Inconceivable!
Ok, so it's official. The manager called Mr. Creep today, he didn't answer his phone, no surprise there. She left him a message saying that if she hadn't heard from him by 5pm, he would no longer be working here. Well, he didn't call. Again, no surprise. What I'd like to know is what she was planning to say to him. I was under the impression that he was going to be terminated regardless of what he said. Apparently, he did get in touch with the assistant manager, I'm not sure when. At that point, I think he was told that he was terminated. I don't know everything he said, but I've been told that my name was mentioned. Wanna know what he said? Here's a quote, from what I hear: "Good, then I won't have to work with that (expletive)ing b(rhymes with itch) Jess." What the hell did I do to him? Up until last night, I've been nothing but nice to him. Ok, so I did complain about him feeding me that line of bull about Jim a couple of months ago, but I think that's it. Granted, I am a woman in a position of authority. My sources say he has trouble dealing with situations like that. I never asked to be put in this position, they came to me. And it's not like I'm this cruel taskmaster. I even go as far as asking when people want to take their breaks, instead of just scheduling them any way I please. I try to be accommodating, but I have no tolerance for people with bad attitudes (especially if they're inebriated at WORK). I know I'm getting worked up over nothing, but I just don't understand why people act that way. And now I'm worried that he'll try to do something in retaliation. My car's right there in the lot, and I'm pretty sure he knows where we live. I wouldn't put it past him to get drunk in one of the bars down the street, then come lumbering up here for some criminal mischief. I have to keep the doors locked here at work just in case some moron lets him in (the building is supposedly secured, locked at all times). At least I have blog therapy. It helps just to get it all out in the air. I feel a little better now, but I'm still a bundle of nerves, and I probably will be for a while. Can't we all just get alooooong?... :)

Fame! and the end of an era
Of all the goofy things to get stuck in my head, the Old Navy commercial touting Bermuda shorts with the adaptation of "Fame" has got to take the cake. (Singing) You'll want to wear them forever...
Speaking of Fame!, I've never seen the movie. Now that I'm obsessed with the song, I might have to. :)

On a more subdued note, I'd like to relay the passing of Jim's Scoutmaster, Dale Kube. Just looked outside and noticed it's snowing. How appropriate. "Oh what a beautiful morning..." Godspeed, Dale. You'll be missed.

Hooray for packrats!
Decided I should check my backpack on the off chance that I had a Slim-Fast bar hiding in there. I found one, and a bag of chips, an orange, some malted milk balls, and enough change in my purse to get anything else I want from the snack machine downstairs. So, looks like I won't be going hungry after all... :)

How dumb does he think we are?
Mr. Creep called at 2am, said he was sick. Yup, he sure is, that brown bottle flu will get ya. When I asked him why he didn't answer the door when the guy who gives him a ride to work knocked at 12:30, he said he'd "gone out to clear his lungs." Riiiight. Haven't heard it called that before...whatever. And he didn't call in before his shift started at 1am because....? Gee, ya think he was at the bar "clearing his lungs" in the smoky air? I really don't understand people like that. I don't have a lot of experience dealing with alchoholics and substance abusers. More than I'd like to, but still, not much. Can someone explain it to me?

Hey Dad, if you're still reading this, tell Matt I said happy birthday. :)

C'est La Vie
Mood:  incredulous
Well, the inevitable has happened. Remember the guy I talked about here at work, the one that's a real jerk, and an alchoholic? He got himself fired. He didn't show up last night for his shift, didn't answer his phone when I gave him a courtesy call. He called in around noon today and said that he'd taken some Sudafed because he wasn't feeling very well, and it knocked him out. Yeah, right. I'd be willing to bet my next paycheck that what really happened is he went out and got plastered, then went home and passed out. I guess he's upset because his check was 8 hours short. A glitch in our timeclock does that now and then, because the day changes at midnight, but the pay period doesn't change until 8am. It's stupid, really, but the person who computes the hours doesn't always catch it. It's not the first time someone's been shorted. This guy threw a fit, though. The manager told him she'd call the accountant first thing tomorrow (Friday) morning, and get it resolved. Well, I guess that wasn't good enough for him. He went out and got plastered again tonight, and he didn't show up for his shift. According to our policy, you get written up the first time you nc/ns, the second is grounds for termination. Well, last night was his second offense. However, we're so shorthanded that the manager decided to give him another chance. She told him that in no uncertain terms, if she hadn't fired three people last week because their drug tests came back positive, he'd be gone. I guess he didn't get the message, or maybe he didn't care. Either way, no matter what, he's fired now. If he had showed up drunk, he'd been warned for that too. So he would be terminated for coming in drunk, or terminated for not showing up. Like I said, either way, he's gone. Good riddance, I say. I had Jim come and get my car, just in case the guy was looking for some retaliation. The problem is, that leaves me stranded here with no food. I'm hungry. And tense. And scared, and shaking, and relieved, and......at least I don't have to worry about dealing with him here at work anymore. Thank God for that.

Mood:  not sure
House, one each. Well, if you want to be picky, it's two hooked together. Jim and I were looking through a Cabela's catalog, and we came across several log cabin kits. The idea is to buy two, one big and one small, and make them into a house. The reason for the smaller one is the kitchen space in the large one is dinky. Neither one of us will tolerate that. So, I came up with the idea of tacking a smaller one-room cabin onto the side, and using it as the kitchen and laundry room. It may also have access to the basement. We haven't quite figured it all out yet, but we're working on it. Don't have anywhere to build this thing, so in the meantime we have a larger set of floorplans on the way (the plan in the catalog is the size of a postage stamp). Will post more on the subject as it unfolds. Click here for pictures.

Need an interpreter?
Words Women Use

FINE

This is the word we use at the end of any argument that we feel we are right about but need to shut you up. NEVER use fine to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES

This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so I feel that it's an even trade.

NOTHING

This means something and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine."

GO AHEAD (with raised eyebrows)

This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine."

GO AHEAD (normal eyebrows)

This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care." You will get a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

LOUD SIGH

This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement very misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing."

SOFT SIGH

Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" are one of the few things that some men actually understand. She is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe and she will stay content.

THAT'S OKAY

This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you retributions for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and used in conjunction with a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead." At some point in the near future when she has plotted and planned, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

PLEASE DO

This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance to tell the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay."

THANKS

A woman is thanking you. Do not faint, just say you're welcome.

THANKS A LOT

This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing."

If you have any questions, please DO hesitate to ask! :)