Hooray for packrats!
Decided I should check my backpack on the off chance that I had a Slim-Fast bar hiding in there. I found one, and a bag of chips, an orange, some malted milk balls, and enough change in my purse to get anything else I want from the snack machine downstairs. So, looks like I won't be going hungry after all... :)

How dumb does he think we are?
Mr. Creep called at 2am, said he was sick. Yup, he sure is, that brown bottle flu will get ya. When I asked him why he didn't answer the door when the guy who gives him a ride to work knocked at 12:30, he said he'd "gone out to clear his lungs." Riiiight. Haven't heard it called that before...whatever. And he didn't call in before his shift started at 1am because....? Gee, ya think he was at the bar "clearing his lungs" in the smoky air? I really don't understand people like that. I don't have a lot of experience dealing with alchoholics and substance abusers. More than I'd like to, but still, not much. Can someone explain it to me?

Hey Dad, if you're still reading this, tell Matt I said happy birthday. :)

C'est La Vie
Mood:  incredulous
Well, the inevitable has happened. Remember the guy I talked about here at work, the one that's a real jerk, and an alchoholic? He got himself fired. He didn't show up last night for his shift, didn't answer his phone when I gave him a courtesy call. He called in around noon today and said that he'd taken some Sudafed because he wasn't feeling very well, and it knocked him out. Yeah, right. I'd be willing to bet my next paycheck that what really happened is he went out and got plastered, then went home and passed out. I guess he's upset because his check was 8 hours short. A glitch in our timeclock does that now and then, because the day changes at midnight, but the pay period doesn't change until 8am. It's stupid, really, but the person who computes the hours doesn't always catch it. It's not the first time someone's been shorted. This guy threw a fit, though. The manager told him she'd call the accountant first thing tomorrow (Friday) morning, and get it resolved. Well, I guess that wasn't good enough for him. He went out and got plastered again tonight, and he didn't show up for his shift. According to our policy, you get written up the first time you nc/ns, the second is grounds for termination. Well, last night was his second offense. However, we're so shorthanded that the manager decided to give him another chance. She told him that in no uncertain terms, if she hadn't fired three people last week because their drug tests came back positive, he'd be gone. I guess he didn't get the message, or maybe he didn't care. Either way, no matter what, he's fired now. If he had showed up drunk, he'd been warned for that too. So he would be terminated for coming in drunk, or terminated for not showing up. Like I said, either way, he's gone. Good riddance, I say. I had Jim come and get my car, just in case the guy was looking for some retaliation. The problem is, that leaves me stranded here with no food. I'm hungry. And tense. And scared, and shaking, and relieved, and......at least I don't have to worry about dealing with him here at work anymore. Thank God for that.

Mood:  not sure
House, one each. Well, if you want to be picky, it's two hooked together. Jim and I were looking through a Cabela's catalog, and we came across several log cabin kits. The idea is to buy two, one big and one small, and make them into a house. The reason for the smaller one is the kitchen space in the large one is dinky. Neither one of us will tolerate that. So, I came up with the idea of tacking a smaller one-room cabin onto the side, and using it as the kitchen and laundry room. It may also have access to the basement. We haven't quite figured it all out yet, but we're working on it. Don't have anywhere to build this thing, so in the meantime we have a larger set of floorplans on the way (the plan in the catalog is the size of a postage stamp). Will post more on the subject as it unfolds. Click here for pictures.

Need an interpreter?
Words Women Use

FINE

This is the word we use at the end of any argument that we feel we are right about but need to shut you up. NEVER use fine to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES

This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so I feel that it's an even trade.

NOTHING

This means something and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine."

GO AHEAD (with raised eyebrows)

This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine."

GO AHEAD (normal eyebrows)

This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care." You will get a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

LOUD SIGH

This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement very misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing."

SOFT SIGH

Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" are one of the few things that some men actually understand. She is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe and she will stay content.

THAT'S OKAY

This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you retributions for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and used in conjunction with a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead." At some point in the near future when she has plotted and planned, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

PLEASE DO

This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance to tell the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay."

THANKS

A woman is thanking you. Do not faint, just say you're welcome.

THANKS A LOT

This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing."

If you have any questions, please DO hesitate to ask! :)

Tendjewberrymud
A telephone exchange between a foreign hotel guest and room-service, at a hotel in Japan, which was recorded and published in the Far
East Economic Review.....
(Be warned, you're going to find yourself talking "funny" for a while after reading this. It was nominated
"best email of 1997")

Room Service: "Morny. Ruin sorbees"

Guest: "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service"
RS: "Rye..Ruin sorbees..morny! Djewish to odor sunteen??"
(right..room service..morning! do you wish to order something)

G: "Uh.. yes.. I'd like some bacon and eggs"
RS: "Ow july den?" (how would you like them)

G: "What??"
RS: "Ow july den?...pry, boy, pooch?" (fry, boil or poached)

G: "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please."
RS: "Ow july dee baycem...crease?" (bacon ...crisp)

G: "Crisp will be fine"
RS: "Hokay. An san tos?" (And some toast)

G: "What?"
RS: "San tos. July san tos?" (some toast...you like some toast)

G: "I don't think so"
RS: "No? Judo one toes??" (you don't want toast)

G: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo one toes' means."
RS: "Toes! toes!...why djew don juan toes? Ow bow ingalish mopping we bother?"

G: "English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast'. Fine.
Yes, an English muffin will be fine."
RS: "We bother?"

G: "No...just put the bother on the side."
RS: "Wad?"

G: "I mean butter...just put it on the side."
RS: "Copy?"

G: "Sorry?"
RS: "Copy...tea...mill?"

G: "Yes. Coffee please, and that's all."
RS: "One Minnie. As ruin torino fee, strangle ache, crease baychem, tossy ingalish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy....rye??"

G: "Whatever you say"
RS: "Tendjewberrymud"

G: "You're welcome"

Some Good News! (for a change)
Heard from Cari, she's got her application in at NECC. Jim and I are supposed to keep our eyes peeled for a decent, yet affordable, apartment. Yay!

AARRGGHH!!!
Mood:  irritated
We've come to the realization at work that the current method of scheduling isn't working. Jim came up with the idea of supervisors working 12 hour shifts. While I'm not wild about the idea, it would solve some problems. It might even make it possible for us to get rid of some "less desirable" employees. Here's the deal: I spent several hours one night (at work, at least I got paid for it!) working out a rotation schedule that was PERFECT. But, when I showed it to the manager, she didn't approve. Apparently, she wants just her, her sister, and me on a rotating schedule for Sat night. Well, I had Jim in there too. She didn't like that. I don't know why. There's also another supervisor that I had working 6am-6pm every Sat, and 12-6 every Sun. Apparently, she can only work every other Sat, and not at all on Sun, because she's living at the rescue mission. I guess they determine how many hours she can have, and they say she needs to spend more time with her daughter. I'm not holding that against her, but I really think it's unfair to the rest of us. I'm tempted to say it's discrimination. Just because I don't have someone telling me when I can work makes me available 24/7? Oh, and I don't have kids, even better. That's horse hooey. I'm bending over backwards for this company, and they keep asking for more. Do they think I like working overnight? If they do, they're very much mistaken. I'd rather be at home in bed, living a semi-normal life like anyone else. I'm pretty angry. When I started working nights, I told them that I wasn't available Saturday nights, because I go to church on Sunday. At that time, I was told that I wouldn't have to work Saturdays. Well, it's Saturday, and here I am, at work. This isn't the first time, and it won't be the last. The manager says the 3 of us are going on rotation until we get someone trained to be weekend supervisor. As far as I know, they don't plan to promote anyone currently working here, so it'll be a while. If my suspicions are correct it'll be a loooong time. Even then, I'll bet I'm still scheduled. I'm sick of it. Sometimes being "nice" is the pits. I let people walk all over me. I feel a little like Tevye in "Fiddler": "Where will it stop? Where will it stop?"

A-fasting we will go...
Forgot to mention that yesterday was the first of the 55 day Lenten fast. So, no meat for Jess until May 1 (and that includes fish). For those of you confused as to why I'm saying Lent lasts beyond March 27th, I'm not Catholic. I'm Greek Orthodox. Yes, I'm still a Christian. We just use the old calendar to determine the dates of "moveable feasts" like Pascha (that's the Greek word for Easter, pronounced pah-skuh.) If you'd like more info on the subject of Orthodoxy, please feel free to visit the Archdiocese website here. I'll be living on fruits and veggies, and a lot of pasta. And mashed potatoes. Should be great for my diet...maybe. That reminds me, I've got to start remembering to take my vitamins. I bought a bottle over a week ago. Still haven't opened it. That's me for ya! Lots of brains, but I seldom use them. Like Amanda says, I'm S-M-R-T! (Miss you bunches, kiddo.) :)