AARRRGGGHHHH!!!!
Now Playing: All the small things
I'm so frustrated. Why did we bother to set rules here at work? None of them get enforced. We say "no downloading", but when people continue to download programs, nothing is said. I've deleted Yahoo messenger from three different computers at least twice in the past two weeks. I've informed every supervisor here, including the manager. I've identified the people using messenger. How do I know who was using it? They forgot to log out! Did anyone get written up? NO! We say "no sleeping unless you're on break", but people choose to ignore that. We say "if you are consistently late, you will be written up". Yeah, right. How many write ups do I have to ask for before one gets done? We have a couple of people that are late EVERY DAY, and a couple that sometimes don't show up at all. Has anything been done? Of course not. We say "no profane or vulgar language". The manager herself chooses to ignore that one. I hear "sh*t" come out of her mouth at least once daily. What can I do about any of this? Nothing. I've addressed the problems with the manager. I understand she's overloaded, trying to do two people's work at once. I've offered to take over some of those responsibilities, even though I wouldn't get compensated for them. She refuses. The stupid owner is such a penny pincher that he won't allow her to promote anyone to assistant manager. I don't understand that, because even if she did, there's no raise to go with it. I'm so sick and tired of the crap that goes on here every day. I'm tired of working third shift and dealing with the people I'm supposed to supervise. I'm tired of only seeing Jim at work. I'm.....tired.

We were supposed to be going to OK this weekend for the Tony's party at Amanda's. So much for that idea. We can't afford the time off, or the expense of a long trip. It's a good thing, because the time off request didn't get approved anyway. First she said she'd give us Sat & Sun off. Then I talked her into giving us Fri too. Well, I guess she forgot. We're both scheduled on Fri. If I had to bet, I'd say we're probably scheduled on Sunday too. Why does it seem like we have to promise our firstborn to get a day off together? I don't understand. There must be a system to her management style, but for the life of me, I don't know what it is. I don't know if I could do any better in her shoes, and I don't really think I'd like to try. But, something's got to change. I've been on third shift for six months now. I think maybe it's someone else's turn. I don't know who. All I know is I don't want to do this anymore. I'm being discriminated against because I had the sense to put off getting pregnant until I was over 25. If I had kids, I could say I'm not available for third shift. That's what everyone else does. But, I don't have kids, so that automatically pegs me as available for any shift. Jim rarely gets to see his son. Last time, he had to spend time with him at work. That's another of my pet peeves. Shouldn't common sense dictate that bringing your children with you to work is not a good idea? Sure, it's ok now and then for an hour or so, but this is happening at least twice a week. But, I can't say anything because Jim did it too. Unfortunately, that was the only way he could spend time with his son that day. That's another thing. Oh nevermind. What's the point? Nothing will change. Either I'll go on being slightly miserable here, or I'll move on to something with equally miserable potential. This sucks. It really does.

Haaaaail the Conquering Herooooo
Mood:  celebratory
Just tweaked my blog so you can actually read all of the text. And took the silly cow hide picture out. Yay me (patting own back). Damn, I'm so good I impress myself. This self taught stuff rocks. Ok, ok, back to semi-modesty...

Blogging Blogger
Mood:  loud
Upon investigation, I have discovered that Angelfire shuts down about once a month, generally at some point in the third week. I don't know exactly what they do while the system is down, but I sure wish they'd let me know in advance. Oh well, I guess you can't fight the man. (sigh)

Jim and I drove out to the house in Plainview Sunday. Not exactly a beauty, but it'll do. It looks ok from the outside. It has a big enclosed porch/mudroom, which was unlocked. It's not trespassing if we're potential tenants, right? We peeked in a window (nobody was home), and the inside looks pretty good. All we could see was a small dining room, a decent sized living room, and into the kitchen. The girls living there are pretty tidy, and good decorators, so that gives me hope. Jim tried several times to call the lady he'd talked to about it, but never got through. I'm not convinced that he was dialing the right number. He said he didn't get an answering machine. When I called, I did get a machine, and I left a message. Not that it made a difference. The message that I left was my name, my relation to Jim, and that we'd driven by the house (I even gave the address to make sure they knew I had the right number), and that we'd like to rent it from them. I asked her to call at her earliest opportunity, and left our phone number. Well, she didn't call. Jim called again Mon night and talked to her. Surprise, surprise, we have to fill out an application. They weren't available last night, hopefully sometime today we can catch them. We have to drive to Plainview to fill out the app. Sheesh. The things we have to go through to find a decent place to live! Now I'm just praying that the application is merely a formality, and she'll tell us we can move in whenever we're ready. I haven't even seen the inside of this house. But, at this point, we're in no position to be picky. It's small, but it will do for now. Better than that rat trap of a mobile home!

Well, I'd better get back to work. Maybe I'll post more later. Then again, my book is beckoning... :)

When God closes a door...LITERALLY!
Topic: House Hunting
Ok Sparky, here's the deal...

We didn't get the house in Neligh. They didn't rent it to someone else. They SOLD it! I guess a couple came up from Texas and offered them $150k. I don't blame them for taking it. That's a pretty good chunk o change for a 100yr old farmhouse in the middle of nowhere. But still....dangit. :(

However.....

We are going to view a house in Plainview today (30 miles). The ad we saw in the paper was for a 3 bedroom, $275. Jim called on it, and it had been rented. But, the lady had another house available! It's a 2 bedroom for $250. We're the first people to look at it, and unless there's something seriously wrong with it, we're going to take it. It will be available June 1st, so we don't have a whole lot of time to pack. There's a couple of young ladies living there now, so it shouldn't be too torn up. And the best part is, not only is she ok with the cat AND the chinchilla...SHE DOESN'T MIND IF WE GET A DOG!!! I guess the lady's son has a German Shorthair, which is the breed Jim likes the most. So, they talked about dogs, and he told her that he used to be AKC certified to judge shows. So, from that, she knows that he is capable of training a dog to behave the way it should. We won't be getting a puppy anytime soon, but it's nice to know that we have the option.

We saw a listing for a mobile home south of town for $350. We went out there and looked at it. It looked ok from the outside. Just for kicks, Jim checked to see if the door was unlocked, and it was! The place was an absolute dump inside. I can't believe the guy has the gall to ask for that much money. There were rat droppings in the cupboards, and Jim said he could smell cockroaches. We aren't sure exactly what the heat source is, there's a gas gauge on the side of the house, and floor vents. But, there's a huge woodburner in the living room. I housesat a mobile home with a woodburner once. It didn't cut it. I was sleeping in a room halfway down the hall from the stove, and I had to wear long underwear under sweats for pj's. I also had two blankets and two comforters on the bed. You could say it was cold in there, and it would be an understatement. Suffice it to say we were less than enthused, and headed back to the car. If we were really desperate, I could probably handle living there for a couple of months, but no way would I pay that much to live in a lousy place like that for very long.

Just in case you're interested...
Topic: Wedding Plans
Here's a picture of the dress I have picked out. Not sure yet who's going to make it for me. I am accepting suggestions! If anyone knows a seamstress (or seamster, men can sew too!) in my area that is good with a sewing machine and doesn't charge too much, PLEASE let me know! :)
My aunt Mary would do a wonderful job, I'm sure. Trouble is, she's in Denver. Much too far to go for fittings. But, unless something changes, she may be my only option. I know this captivating young man in Columbus, but can't seem to get ahold of him. Anyway...

Click here to see the picture.

Now see here...
Mood:  mischievious
Now Playing: It's the end of the world as we know it
I am slowly but surely dragging Jim into the 21st century. As of this very moment, we both have blogs, and a couple of websites. Granted, he doesn't use his as often as I'd like, but I'm guilty of that too sometimes. (Sorry scooter) And he has a much better excuse than I do. A mere 8 months ago, had you mentioned the word "blog" in conversation with Jim, he probably would have perked up, thinking you had said "bog", which is close to "marsh" (his natural habitat). Now he not only knows what a blog is, he has one of his own. Now if I can just get him to post more often than twice a month... :)

We own a DVD player, and it's one that cost more than $30. We'll be purchasing a new computer sometime in the near future. And we're discussing whether to use a cell phone as our home phone. That will involve some compromise. Jim's convinced that cell phones are evil. He says if we get one, the only time it leaves the house is if we go on a trip. And even then, it stays off unless we need to call someone. I'm trying to talk him into getting two, one for the house, and one for me to carry around. Wish me luck! :)

FYI
Just created two new websites, one for Jim and one for myself. They're wish lists, so visit whenever you're shopping for gifts for one of us! :)

Jess' Wish List: http://www.angelfire.com/jazz/lamentoso/wishlistjess.html

Jim's Wish List: http://www.angelfire.com/ne2/gremlinscout/wishlistjim.html

This is how I feel at work sometimes...

Ok, ok, I'll blog, sheesh.
Now Playing: Are You Happy Now - Michelle Branch
Here I am, in all my (ahem) radiant glory. Well, not exactly. I'm here, but I'm far from radiant, unless you count in my oily skin. Forgot to wash my face before I came to work. Oh well. It's back to the night shift for me. And what a night it's going to be. We have some serious storms rolling through, and the lightning is flashing quite often. It's very muggy in here, so I've got the big fans going. I think they're actually the air conditioner, but I'm not sure. (eyes crossing in perplexion)

Still haven't heard back about the house we applied for. Jim's dad is getting pretty annoyed with us, he wanted to be moved out about 2 weeks ago. Jim's been watching the paper like a hawk, and has called on every house that is reasonably priced, but we're not getting any responses. Frustrating.

Other than that, I don't have much news. Everything is as it has been. Work, sleep, eat, repeat in no particular order. Have lost over 25 pounds of the 50 I gained from taking stinking Effexor. Am hopeful that the other 25 will continue to diminish before I walk down the aisle. Sarah says I already look skinny. Skinni-er, maybe, but not skinny enough for me.

It's raining, it's pouring
Mood:  lyrical
Rain, rain on my face
It hasn’t stopped raining for days
My world is a flood
Slowly I become one with the mud

Chorus:

But if I can’t swim after forty days
And my mind is crushed by the thrashing waves
Lift me up so high that I cannot fall
Lift me up
Lift me up - when I’m falling
Lift me up - I’m weak and I’m dying
Lift me up - I need you to hold me
Lift me up - keep me from drowning again

Downpour on my soul
Splashing in the ocean, I’m losing control
Dark sky all around
I can’t feel my feet touching the ground

[chorus]

Calm the storms that drench my eyes
Dry the streams still flowing
Cast down all the waves of sin
And guilt that overthrow me

[bridge]

[chorus]

Lift me up - when I’m falling
Lift me up - I’m weak and I’m dying
Lift me up - I need you to hold me
Lift me up - keep me from drowning again