The Return of the Blog
Mood:  celebratory
Got the internet back tonight. Not sure if everything's fixed, but at least I can do something other than sit and stare at my screen. Not that it's keeping me any more awake. Just clocked back in from "lunch" (aka naptime). Dozed on and off for about an hour. Guess my flunkies think that gives them the right to sleep too, cause he's snoring, and she's hunched down with her feet up. Don't they understand the difference? I was OFF THE CLOCK!! Oh well, at least they aren't dropping calls. Yet. If they do, there'll be hell to pay.
From what I hear, we have some new people starting soon. Hope they work out better than our last crop. The turnover rate here is astonishing. Could be the nature of the job, but I think it has more to do with the hiring "skills" of our illustrious leader. Or, more accurately, the lack thereof. But enough about work.
Jim and I both managed to get Saturday night off for Pascha (Easter), so I'll get to go to church for the first time in a couple of months. And as an added bonus, my friend from high school is having a "pampering party" on Saturday, which gives us the opportunity to go to Lincoln. So, we'll be going to my old church, and I'll get to see my Greek Godmother, and the other folks who knew me when I first joined the Orthodox church. Should be refreshing. It was hard going to a church where I didn't know anybody. Then again, that's the way it was in Lincoln at first. The difference is, I can't go to the other services that I would like to. I miss Vespers on Wednesdays and Saturdays. Those were the services I attended most often when I was learning about the church. They're the most musical, which appealed to me. I miss how simple my life was.
But, all things happen for a reason. I'm convinced of that. And I have proof. I asked Jim if I had been living in Lincoln when we met online, would he have pursued me the same way he did when I was in Columbus. He told me that he wouldn't have, because he'd driven down to Lincoln and Omaha to meet several other women, and didn't like what he found. I guess they all told him that they weren't really into the clubbing scene, but it turns out that when the weekend came, off to the clubs they'd go. So, he just stopped responding to ads from Lincoln and Omaha. Fortunately, I left Lincoln, and we met when I lived in Columbus, which is much closer to Norfolk. So, here we are, happy and free....well, getting there anyway.
For those of you who are confused about what I'm talking about, I met Jim on Yahoo Personals. We emailed back and forth for about 4-6 weeks, then decided to meet. We were cautious at first, both having come out of bad relationships. Then one night we were chatting on Messenger, and I got impetuous. I asked if he'd like to meet for coffee. Mind you, this was at 10pm. I offered to drive to Norfolk and meet him. My mother thought I was nuts. She was right. She just about flipped when for our first "date" we took my car and drove to Valentine. Jim wanted to get some photos of elk. My mother wasn't convinced he wasn't planning to kill me and leave me in the bushes. Obviously, he didn't, or I wouldn't be typing this. :) He DID pull a .22 pistol out, but he wasn't aiming at me. He was after a rattlesnake on the side of the road. Those of you who know me well can probably imagine how I felt about that scenario. Suffice it to say, I was pretty quiet for a while after that. He got back in the car, saw the look on my face, and said something like "I just ruined any chance I had with you, didn't I?" I told him that while I was far from comfortable with him carrying a gun on a date, or a dead rattlesnake in my trunk, that I would attempt to get over it for the sake of our potential relationship. That was a year and a half ago. Not sure if I'm over it yet, but I'm still here. He's a good man, Charlie Brown. (Yes, I know you're reading this. Just try not to let it go to your head, ya mook.) I'm grateful for the time we spend together, and I'm afraid I don't show it enough. It's easy to say "I love you." How do I show you exactly how I feel? It's so much more than words can express. Through good times and bad, I'll always be here for you, with you through the storm. Squishy and Bubbles, together forever.

Unplanned Moratorium
I posted, really I did. At least I tried to. Well, I guess I'll have to try again, cause my darn computer froze up and crashed before I could finalize the post last time. Here's take two...

Maybe you know this, maybe you don't, but I do most of my blogging at work. I haven't been able to post lately because two of the four servers, and several of the other computers that keep us in business are infected with viruses/spyware/other nasty stuff. So, until further notice, the internet is off limits. That's not a good thing, because sometimes playing on the 'net is the only thing that keeps me and my coworkers from dozing off. Third shift can really be the pits. So, I'll post as often as I can. There's no telling when we'll get the internet back.

In other news, unless the owner goes into a fit of nonsensical logic (wouldn't be the first time), I will most likely be promoted to "Assistant Operations Manager" sometime in the next week or so. This may or may not involve a pay raise, depending on what the manager works out with the owner. I'll probably still be on third shift. The previous asst mgr walked out after throwing a temper tantrum about having to cover third on my night off. Wah freakin' wah. She only had to work third once a week, if that. I work third FIVE OR SIX days a week, EVERY week. And I'm expected to cover FIRST shift when it's necessary. You don't see me bitching and moaning about it all the time. It doesn't do my sleep schedule (yeah, right, like I have one of those) any favors, either. The woman is pretty close to 40, and she's acting like a petulant teenager. Well, good riddance, I guess. Trouble is, it leaves us even more short-staffed than we were before she left. And the owner is being difficult, as usual. He chews the poor manager out if any of us have overtime. I guess he doesn't understand that we don't have the manpower to cover the shifts as well as we'd like to right now. He flew off the handle and told the manager that any overtime from now on is coming out of her paycheck. So, no more overtime. Trouble is, that will leave us with not enough people to cover the calls that are scheduled. He throws a fit if we drop any calls. He just doesn't get it. Until we get more people hired and trained, we're either going to have overtime, or drops. That's one thing I'm dreading. If I get this promotion, sooner or later I'll be on the receiving end of one of his tirades. The manager told me that the first three times he cussed her out, she balled afterwards. The dumb jerk had the nerve to ask what we could do to improve morale. Well, for starters, he could stop riding our asses, and stop flying off the handle about every minor thing that doesn't go exactly as planned. Second, he can realize that we're doing the best we can with limited resources, and faulty data. Third, he can start giving praise where it's due, and stop focusing on only the negative things. Fourth, he can provide us with the things we need to function on a day-to-day basis. I could go on, but I have better things to do in what little freetime I get. Like.......laundry....yay. :)

Anyway, I'll post again as soon as I can. Until then, hope everyone is having a good week.

I think my nose is broken...
Mood:  quizzical
Don't panic, I don't require surgery, and I'm not bleeding. All I meant by that is that I'm smelling things that I don't think are real. I'm hallucinating smells. Or maybe I'm just misinterpreting them. Here's the rundown. Wafting through the halls is the odd combination of mac n cheese and nag champa incense. The bathroom is a mix of steamed broccoli and swamp gas, always a favorite. And here in the office, we have the pleasant aroma of burning plastic, fresh flowers, and incense (seeping in under the door from the hall). If any of that sounds "normal" to you, please tell me so I can quit trying to figure out what's wrong with my sniffer. Another major problem tonight is my internal jukebox seems to be on the fritz. It's not so bad now, but earlier I had a mind-bending medley of various tunes, including selections from West Side Story, Young Frankenstein, Into the Woods, James Taylor's "Fire and Rain", and other assorted snippets. So at one point, the mayhem in my head sounded something like this: "Pleeeease release meeeee, let me gooooooo...(slurred)puuuudin on the riiiii...MAMBO!...you can tend the garden it's yours...all the world is only you and me...but I always thought that I'd see you again...AGONYYYYY...oooooh my love at last I've found youuuuu." If that's not enough to drive a person mad, I don't know what is. Props to Amanda for understanding exactly what I mean. And more props (award forthcoming) to Amanda for ACING MY QUIZ!!! (applauding vigorously) AMAN-DA! AMAN-DA! AMAN-DA! Perhaps I'll see you this weekend and present your trophy in person? Or maybe I'll wait until the Tony's....hmmmm, tough call.

That's it for now. I'm off, like a herd of turtles... Or am I just off? Tune in next week to find out... (duh duh duuuuuhhhhh)

Now it's your turn!
I made a Quiz for You on QuizYourFriends.com

Click here to take the quiz! Good luck!

FYI: I have a blog devoted solely to quizzes. Here's the link.

As promised...
Ok, I said I'd tell you more about the hamburger later, and now it's later. Here's the deal:

I don't remember the last time I went to church. The church I was going to in Sioux City apparently lost its priest, and is not holding services until a new one arrives. This information has not been confirmed. However, with our current work situation, going to a church that's more than 30 minutes away isn't practical at this point. So, to sum it up, I'm not going to church, and I'm living in sin with my future husband. I'm not really doing any of the things that a good Orthodox person would do, so why continue to act like one? I've never even been to confession. So, I decided to stop fasting. Not altogether, mind you, I'm still practicing the Wednesday and Friday fast. I'm just not following the whole Lenten fast thing. I probably will during Holy Week (the week before Pascha), but until then, I've reverted to being carnivorous. I think God will forgive me for my weakness, I hope he understands. A little grace in my life would be refreshing. As it is, things are not going so well. I have a roof over my head, food to eat, a job to provide money to keep the wolves from the door, and the love of friends, family, and a wonderful mook of a man. But that's where the list peters out. I'm not happy in my current situation. And I don't feel like there's anything I can do about it. Things will change, hopefully for the better. I just hope they change soon. I'm going out of my gourd. My poor thumb can't take much more. (Please don't ask me to explain that statement. Suffice it to say that I have a bad habit that surfaces when I'm stressed, and my thumb pays the brunt of the price.) Peace, I'm out.

Please God, Please
Mood:  caffeinated
Topic: House Hunting
Jim's been calling on places in the paper for rent. We're looking closely at smallish houses in Plainview, but there's also a farmhouse by Battle Creek, which is much closer, and preferable. He's called several times, and I guess he and the guy renting the farmhouse are playing phone tag. In between the time I left for work this morning (yes, for some inexplicable reason, I'm working during the day today and tomorrow [stupid rotten rotation anyway]) and when Jim got home, the guy called again. He's supposed to call again later today. Please, God.....please let us get this house. We were supposed to be completely moved out of Jerry's house by May 1st. Today is April 16th and we still have nowhere to go. It isn't like Jerry is going to kick us out, but I don't want to start annoying my in-laws this early in the game.

I'm still here...
Mood:  down
Now Playing: I Don't Care Anymore - Phil Collins
Well, it's happened. I am now among the ranks of pepper spray carrying women. After the little confrontation at the front door the other day, I really started to worry that I might get attacked here. So, while we were in Yankton on Monday, I picked up some triple-threat spray: tear gas, red pepper, and UV dye, all in one convenient little spray canister. It sits ready just below my monitor. I've barred all of the doors except the one I can easily see from my desk, and I may close that one after my two flunkies get here at midnight.

Jim was really pressing me to get a handgun, but I don't think it would do me any good. I'd be shaking too badly to hold it up. Besides, my aim with a pistol is shoddy. Needs much work. I'm happy with my spray.

Let's see, what else is new...

Monday was Jim's 37th birthday. We went fishing in Niobrara. Well, I guess I shouldn't say "we" went fishing. The truth is that I couldn't shake the pounding headache that was keeping me from sleeping, so at around 3am Monday morning, I got stupid and took Tylenol PM. Didn't occur to me that it might make it difficult for me to get up and moving at 5am. At the time, all I wanted was to get some sleep, so I took something that would make it happen. Silly me. The darn stuff didn't wear off until noon. Yup, that's right, I got out of bed, got dressed, went out to the van and slept most of the way to Niobrara. Then I crawled into the back seat and slept until noon. In the meantime, Jim caught a 5 pound catfish, and Jerry (his dad) caught a smaller one, maybe a pound and a half. We went to get some lunch at a small cafe, where I ate my first hamburger in over a month. More on that subject later.

After lunch we returned to the river, and I supervised a whole lotta nothing. Was windy, cloudy, and pretty cold if you ask me. The guys didn't seem to have any trouble, but I was chilled to the bone. I had on jeans, a t-shirt, a thick fleece shirt, an insulated men's coat, and a blanket poncho. Oh, and a handkerchief and a boonie hat on my head. Even with all that, I was shivering. Jim was laughing at me, he said I looked like a cross between Nanuk of the North, and the local bag lady. Jerry took a couple of pictures. I don't like them, so I'm not going to share. :P Anyway, I decided I'd had enough fresh air after about half an hour, and returned to the backseat of the van, where I camped out with a book, then took another nap!

Well, it turns out that it was a good thing I'd slept that much, because despite the approval stamp on our time off request, the doggone manager scheduled me to work Monday night. I was not a happy girl. I'm still not. And to make matters worse, I had to fight to keep my darn coworkers awake! Again!!! I've decided that I'm not going to put up with it anymore. When they get here tonight, I'm going to tell them that if they fall asleep, they're going to get written up. I've had it. And since the last write up I asked for hasn't been done yet (I'm not authorized to do them myself, but that may change), I'm going to talk to the manager about it it the morning. If the one I previously asked for isn't done within a week, I'm going to write to the owner. I'm tired of the slip-shod management style here. If I'm going to keep working here, I'm not going to sit back and let things slide anymore. And if they don't like it, they can fire me. I don't care anymore. Something's gotta give!

Now Page 2...
I really don't enjoy being a supervisor. I don't like being responsible for keeping people in line. But, here I am. I do the best I can.

Miss Thang didn't even last an hour before she laid her head down on her desk and dozed off tonight. Several minutes later, I was less than 10 feet away. I said "(name), you need to sit up, please." No response. So, I went over and shook her shoulder. I said "I'm going to say this the simplest way I know how. You're at work. You're not getting paid to sleep. I want you sitting up." She hasn't been back to sleep yet (it's amazing how she perked up during her lunch break). I'm not kidding around anymore. I've asked nicely. I've tried telling her instead of asking. If it happens again, especially if it happens again TONIGHT, I'm writing her up. I know she's not the only person who falls asleep on the clock, but she is the only person on MY shift that consistently falls asleep, and sleeps through CALLS! I don't know what else to do. Argh!

Trying
Mood:  irritated
I'm so tired. And my two coworkers are merrily napping (and snoring) away, despite my polite request that they not do that very thing. How am I supposed to stay conscious at the only person in the room attempting to remain that way? It ticks me off. Why do I have to be the responsible one? What really gets my goat is I specifically asked her to stay awake (my exact words were "I need you to stay awake, please.") and he knows better. She managed to keep her eyes open for one whole hour before she turned her chair to face away from me and promptly nodded off. She must think like my cat does: if I can't see you, you can't see me. I'm so sick of this job. I've spent the last six months giving everything I have, filling in whenever I'm needed, working 9-14 hour days. I seldom get more than one day off per week, and Jim usually doesn't even get a day off. The only real time I get to spend with Jim is either at work, or at the expense of time I should spend sleeping. I haven't been to church in over a month, more like 6-8 weeks. I'm not supposed to be working Saturday nights, or Sunday during the day, but I've done both in the past 2 weeks. My life is a shambles. I have no energy, no motivation, and no joi de vivre. I am seriously considering walking out right now. Unfortunately, I'm more mature than that, and I realize that I have bills to pay. Adulthood sucks. I don't wanna do it anymore. I want to go to bed for a month to get my sleeping habits back, then spend the next month on the couch watching TV and reading books. I want to remember what feeling good is like. I want my life back. I want my mommy. I want to cry until I can't cry anymore, then start all over. I want three wishes, and a fairy godmother. I feel a little like the end chorus of "Meet Virginia" by Train:
Well, she wants to be the queen.
Then she thinks about her scene.
Well, she wants to live her life.
Then she thinks about her life.
Pulls her hair back as she screams.
I don't really wanna be the queen.
I, I don't really wanna be the queen.
I, I don't really wanna be the queen.
I, I don't really wanna live this [life.]

Hah Hah, very funny
After visiting Bill Amend's website, I have learned that the whole thing was intended as an April Fools Joke. Well, they sure got me.