Mi Vida Loca
Mood:  cheeky
(singing) Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhh, Agony, Misery, Woe!

Ok, maybe it's not quite THAT bad, but I'm definitely not happy. On the bright side, just thinking about my favorite musical has cheered me up. "The giant's a woman!" "This is ridiculous, what am I doing here, I'm in the wrong story!"

Talked to my mom today. According to her, I still have Christmas presents to open at her house. I guess the dog chewed a corner out of one of the boxes and ate the M&Ms that were inside. Stupid dog. Oh well, that just means I can't eat them and get fat. My sister has strep throat. She's STILL not done moving. She's been at it for over three weeks now. Granted, she's been sick, but good grief.

Well, that's all I have to say for now, so I'll be signing off...toodles!

OK, now I'm pissed...
Mood:  don't ask
Guess what? The creepy guy is coming back to work. Tomorrow. And, yes, I have to work with him. He fed the manager some tale about how he had called in to ask for his schedule and I WOULDN'T GIVE IT TO HIM!!! That is complete and total BUNK!!! Well, she put him on the schedule, saying she really does need the help. Oh, and it gets better. If the three of us (The Creep, Jim, and I) can't get along and keep our "luggage" out of work, we'll get written up. I'm very, very, very pissed off. In fact, I think LIVID would be a better term. The thing that gets me is even though I just spent 10 minutes on the phone with the manager, letting her know that he'd lied to her, she's still going to let him work. Nothing I say matters, I guess. Apparently, everybody can do as they please. Well, everybody but Jim and me. The managerially challenged owner has decreed that I can't work second shift anymore. Apparently, I'm the only one capable of bringing the system back up after the power goes out, which it does a couple times a month. And he's denied Jim's promotion to supervisor, for no apparent reason. The manager says she may override him, but I don't really see that happening. I feel like I'm stuck between the proverbial rock and the hard place. I hate what goes on here, the day-to-day absurdity of it all. But I like my job. I like getting paid to read mystery novels, and sit on my rapidly pancaking ass. I don't know what to do, or even what to think. I'm rapidly getting to a stage where I should probably be on medication. Oh, I haven't mentioned that, have I? I went off of my meds. I can't get them for free anymore, I can't afford to buy them, and I don't qualify for any state supported programs because I make too much money, and I don't have a kid. Funny how I'm being punished for being moral. Why do single mothers and illegal aliens get all the breaks? So, I guess I'll just have to do without. Or, I could quit my job. (yeah, right) I've been "drugless" for over a month now. I haven't had much trouble, so I wonder if I really needed them in the first place. Am I really bipolar? I don't have any way of knowing. I don't trust either of the shrinks I saw, so their opinion doesn't count. How do they expect me to live in our society without insurance? I don't understand this country....I'm gonna quit now, I've got myself worked up into a near-frenzy, and I need to calm down. (Taking deep breaths) My internal jukebox is going nuts, it's almost schizophrenic. Never thought I'd hear John Mellencamp and Patsy Cline at the same time, but hey, anything can happen in this wacko brain of mine. (Crazyyyy, R.O.C.K. IN THE U.S.A., I'm crazy for feelin', R.O.C.K. IN THE U.S.A., so lonelyyyyy...) Crazy is about right. Well, I'm not supposed to be on the internet while we're expecting calls, so I'm gonna log off now...

Mood:  not sure
I haven't felt like posting much lately. The problem is that when the mood strikes, I'm usually not able to post, as our home computer is in the shop HAVING ITS HARD DRIVE WIPED!!! Rotten spyware. So, the only access I have to the internet is here at work. Well, I suppose I could go to the library, but I'm too paranoid about people looking over my shoulder. Anyway, I don't really have anything to say, so I'll sign off for now...

Sheesh...
Mood:  incredulous
Now Playing: Daughters, by John Mayer
I read an entire book tonight. Took me roughly four hours to read 240 pages. Talk about a boring shift! I've been here since 5 and had 14 calls. Now I'm trying to figure out what to do with myself for the next 90 minutes, as I have no more book to read (and nothing new in blogland either). Was cruising through the GOArch site trying to find some material that would help me explain the practice of fasting to Jim, but I'm really not in the mood for research.

In other news...the creepy guy at work got fired (YAY!) only to be replaced by frequent visits by a resident who is rapidly climbing on the creepy scale. His name is Juan Jose Garcia, and he likes to tell me everything that's going on in his life. He even brought me some pictures of his family to look at. The guy sat and talked my ear off (with an unintelligible accent, I can't understand half of what he says) for TWO HOURS last night. Tonight, I shooed him off after half an hour, told him I was going to read my book. :) (Well, at least I was telling the truth.)He's offered me a backrub, and asked for my phone number. I told him I didn't think my FIANCE' would appreciate that very much. He had the gall to say "Well, you aren't married yet..." He was telling me about how much he's going to get back on his tax return this year, and said he was thinking about buying a computer. He asked what kind I thought he should buy. I told him "Dude, get a Dell!" Ok, so that isn't EXACTLY what I said, but you get the drift... Anyway, I was too nice to him. During the two hours he was talking my ear off, I was going onto the Dell site and helping him pick out a computer and accessories. I also got him thinking about taking a couple of classes at the college, to learn how to USE his new computer (and hopefully meet a girl). Now he won't leave me alone! That's what I get for being nice, I guess...

He just stopped in and gave me this little plush dog that wolf whistles when you press his belly! What am I going to do when Jim gets here in a few minutes!!!....

More Wisdom from Jim
Mood:  chatty
"We're out of shape" he says. No, this is not an indication of physical fitness. He is, instead, referring to the fact that neither one of us managed to eat as many crab legs as we used to. I only had one plateful, and it was rather modest. I'm not sure how much he ate. Of course, I was determined not to gorge myself like I usually do, as I am currently fighting the (seemingly)neverending battle of the bulge. So, as a result, I was able to stay awake during the hour-long trip home. I usually make it about 20 miles, then fall asleep.

Mood:  hungry
I'm soooo bored. I'm sitting here at work, all by my onesies. I get a call once in a while, usually 2-4 per hour. I'm here for an eight hour shift, but I don't get any breaks, and no lunch. Now, that doesn't mean that I don't have any downtime, I can log off long enough to use the restroom if I have to, but that's about it. I was under the impression that when I was ready to take a break, I could call Freddie (the owner), and he'd log on and cover for me. Well, I don't have his phone number. It WAS on the white board, but someone erased it. Ruddy bastards. It's raining. Makes pretty lights on the window pane. I bet it's cold, but I don't care...

Oh, the naivete'
Mood:  spacey
Ok, so I'm not exactly keeping up with this. Poor Amanda hasn't had anything to read for DAYS!!! :) Here's what's happening: There's this guy that Jim and I work with, I won't mention his name. He, unfortunately, knows Jim from before. Apparently, Jim dated his soon-to-be-ex-wife. Well, the guy is a real creep. He sat next to me night before last and was feeding me all of these lies about things that Jim had done. Of course, once the seed is planted, it's hard to squelch the doubt. So, upon my arrival at home the next morning, I immediately talked to Jim about what the guy had said. I was reassured that my Jimmy would never behave in such a manner, intoxicated or no. He told me that he had known that something like this would happen sooner or later, and that he had warned our boss about it. Oh, btw, the guy also THREATENED Jim, saying that the two of them would probably engage in "fisticuffs" sooner or later, and that he wasn't afraid of going back to jail for it. When I told Jim what he'd said, he went straight for the phone and called our boss, to ask her to fire the guy. I guess she'd told Jim when she hired the guy that if we had any problems with him, she'd let him go. Well, she said she'd talk with him. However, I heard today that she was too creeped out to talk to him. Bells! Whistles! Lights! Sirens! If you can't even talk to someone, you surely shouldn't keep them as an employee, don't you think? Oh, and it gets better: LAST night, he sat next to one of the other girls, and now SHE'S complaining about him too. She said that he was asking her questions, and he got way too personal. I'm supposed to ask our boss to call her in the a.m. I hope he is asked to leave as a result. It would put us in a little bit of a bind as far as HR goes, but in the long run, we're better off without him. He sat at my computer during the day today...ugh. Makes me want to go get a Lysol wipe. Maybe I will.....

Jim-ism
"You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him jump over the fence." Right, what he said.

We put two rifles on layaway today, both Ruger M77s, his is a 30-06, and mine is a 243. Yes, you read that right, I'm buying a gun. It's kind of a strange thing, I've never owned a gun before. And what's really strange is that Jim had his picked out before we even got to the store, but I looked around, and ended up with a smaller version of his! They look almost exactly the same, the same diamond pattern on the stock, yadda yadda. The main difference is that mine is the "youth" model, the regular one is too big for my short arms. So now Jim is all excited because we bought new guns (we've decided that they're going to be our V-day gifts. Not very romantic, but I don't mind.) which means we get to ACCESSORIZE! Honestly, he's downright giddy. Worse than me going shoe shopping. We have to pick out scopes, and slings, and a bore snake, and maybe even cases. I wish I'd known what I was getting myself into... :)

And the award for most easily stressed individual goes to...
Now Playing: Somewhere Only We Know
Well, after much thought and discussion, I've decided not to audition. The timing just isn't right. Next year is a no-go too, can't combine pre-show and pre-wedding jitters, the mix would be lethal. So, maybe the year after that. Who knows. My life may be completely different by then. I doubt it, but it could happen.

(singing)Oh simple thing...where have you gone....

Mental Torture Session
Mood:  down
Now Playing: theme from Jeopardy!
I'm driving myself (and a few people around me) nuts. Amanda mailed me a couple of days ago, to let me know that she'd found a theatre called the Lyric in OKC. For anyone really into Broadway, the name should sound familiar. It's a branch of the Lyric in LA. Anyway. She thinks we should audition for one of the upcoming shows. I would LOVE to, but there are several obstacles. If I'm not mistaken, it's a "union" show. I don't know exactly how these things work. Maybe it's just the main/named parts that have to be cast with union members, and anyone can be in the chorus. I have no illusions whatsoever that with my lack of experience, there's basically no way in hell that I'd make it into anything BUT the chorus, and even that's probably a long shot. I've never had to compete with more than 10 people for any part I've ever auditioned for. I'm so small town it's ridiculous. Add to that the fact that I haven't vocalized regularly for a year, and it's been longer than that since I danced. I am out of shape, more ways than one. Visions of Chorus Line are dancing in my head, and they aren't boosting my confidence in the slightest. Also, there is the fact that the theatre is in OKC, and I, my fiance', and my job (which I am reluctant to give up to chase what seems to be a pipe dream) are here in podunk Nebraska. I can fathom taking a few days off to go audition, but what would I do if I did get a part? I'd have to quit my job. Yes, I know the part would have a weekly salary, but what about after it closes? What are the chances of my finding another job as cushy as the one I've got now? I'm just not ready to jump into the life of a professional actress. I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL TO DO!!!!