Tired as hell, but rather excited, I made my way to the theatre for the last time. The rush line was insane - the longest I'd ever seen it. At orchestra left, I had a little conversation with the usual usher, who had gotten to know me over the weeks, and then found my seat.
I noticed Kurt Browning and Sonia Rodriguez were around again, so I very determinedly decided I was going to have a coherent conversation with Kurt. I went over and said hi, and proceeded to do so. We talked about his connections with Insight Productions and how I thought You Must Remember This was like, the greatest skating special in the history of ever, and how I think he really needs to do another one. He said he was getting old and was concentrating more on choreo and stuff now in his "old age", and I laughed and said I thought that was awesome. I am very proud of myself for not just saying, "U R THE GREATEST EVAH I <3 U!!!1one!" again and feel this was a milestone in my fangirly life. *snicker*
Before the show, when they brought the judges out, I noticed Zack wasn't with them, and figured he must have stayed home for Rosh Hashanah. I gotta say, I give him serious, serious props for the decision. He could very well have said, "It's the biggest and final episode of the season, I'm going to work", but he didn't, which is totally awesome. I have my issues with Zack, but he continues to be my favourite judge. Good on ya, dude.
The Annoying Lady (a.k.a. Senior Producer Sue Brophey) came out to do her schtick in the world's tackiest black sequined sack dress and sparkly silver shoes. Holy cow, she looked bad. I thought Sass looked like Promzilla or something, but TAL maybe looked worse. She introduced lots of the "famous" people in the crowd - Kurt and Sonia, tennis champ Daniel Nestor, a bunch of politicians (including the MP from Medicine Hat, the federal Finance Minister, the premier of Saskatchewan, blahblahblah), actor Jonathan Crombie (Gilbert Blythe from Anne of Green Gables, eee!), Don McKeller, Patrick McKenna, and a bunch of former Idols, including Richie Wilcox, Gary, Toya, and Billy.
Everything from now on is liable to be out of order, because I don't quite remember in what order everything went in.
The first group number was supremely brilliant. From the very beginning, with Kalan trying to pick up Manoah (bwah!), to the very end, when the child practically tripped over his own feet trying to hit his final pose. The Return of G-Code made me laugh, and even though I don't like Elena, her I Only Want To Be With You duet with Theresa was nicely sung and also very cute. As a random side note, that song will always remind me of the days when Canadian TV was actually good, because CBC used it as the background music for their aggressive 1993 ad campaign. I remember this because I used to be a Canadian TV geek. Anyhow. Kalan singing "Tempted" made me laugh a lot, because really, c'mon. He was also clearly back in Badass!Dancer! mode through this whole group number, which amused me to no end. Now, finally, we come to "Under Pressure". We all know I hate Jacob and would not go to a Jacob or Hedley concert even if it were free (except maybe to throw a cowbell at him), but dude, something happens when he teams up with Shane. It was like two sparks rubbed together and exploded or something, because their duet was nothing short of freaking killer. Hilarious, electric, super slashy, and awesome, and the audience was going absolutely crazy. Jacob needs to dump Hedley and create the Shacob Band immediately. I would never buy a Jacob CD or a Hedley CD, ever, but a Shacob CD, with "Under Pressure" on it? Hell yeah. “Love so slashed and torn” indeed. (TheirloveissofromAbbotsford! *snicker*) The number should've ended right there, because the Brandy/Manoah and Jason that followed was a serious anti-climax. The only good thing about that part is what I like to call the "free dance" section, during which they all danced around in the background while Brandy and Manoah sang. Kalan's attempt to dance without choreo was quite possibly the funniest thing I have ever seen, until I realized the girl beside me was crying with laughter. "Look at Joshua!" she gasped amid laughs, and when I did, I joined her in the uncontrollable laughter, because dude, whatever Josh was trying to pass off as dancing? Damn, it was funny in a really, really bad way.
During the first commercial break, the same girl, who looked about 13 or
14, turned to me and asked me who I was rooting for. I told her I loved both
Kalan and Theresa, but that if I had to choose, I'd go to with Kalan. I then
asked her who she was rooting for, since she was obviously waiting
for me to ask, and she said, quite proudly, "I'm Joshua's sister." Aw. Cute
that she wanted to show off her big annoying, mouse-song
singing brother. She then said that she'd thought both Theresa and
Kalan were really nice when she met them, but that her brother hadn't been
particularly close to Kalan and so she was rooting for Theresa. Hmm.
I hate both Ben and Jon, but they become slightly more tolerable when
they're making it crystal clear that they're secretly
married very much in love. The Ben/Jon video of supreme gayness was
almost funny. They were standing there watching it together with their arms
around each other - they do seem like they have a lot of love for each other
in real life, which is understandable, since they are both annoying and they
both suck.
Kalan's reaction to the Medicine Hat segment - could it have been any cuter?! He came out a little early and had this expression on his face like, "Gah, I have to watch myself on a big screen again. Can I please hide now?" Then, when they showed the screaming crazies back in his hometown and everyone there gushed about how great he was, the poor child turned about seventy-three shades of red, shuffled his feet, looked down at his shoes, bit his lip, and looked like he wanted to die or, at the very least, run away from the praise. SO. CUTE! He looked tremendously relieved when it was over and practically ran off the stage. Awwwww.
The only surprise about Theresa’s reaction to the fans in Saskatoon is that she didn't break down and bawl. She looked thoroughly shocked at the number of fans and close to tears when the clip was over, but she managed to hold it together on stage. Shane was standing in the stage right wing watching and gave her a hug when she got off.
The Top 8 medley seemed a little disjointed to me. The only real thing I have to say about this one is what the hell were Manoah and Brandy wearing?? Um. Ill-advised. That is all. Manoah sounded even more off-key live than she did on TV. Shane was bang-on all evening and his bit of "The Way I Feel" was by far the best thing in the medley (although Kaleb’s "Hound Dog" was fab, too). As a note of interest, the media songlist had Shane's song in the medley listed as "My Funny Valentine" - I'm guessing that was one of the songs he'd planned to sing on Big Band night if he'd made it one step further, which he totally would have if he'd sung every week like he sang on finale night. Jason F. Greeley is still smarmy, still annoying, and still needs to go away. Basically, the main thing I got out of this medley is that as amusing and/or good some of the others in the Top 10 were, Theresa and Kalan were definitely the class of the field and deserved to be the final two. Eden immediately collapsed into giggles again when her brother started dancing during Jason's part of the medley. Hee.
Then... Ryan! I saw that he had a guitar and immediately started laughing
muchly. Way to try for the cred, Ry. The Avril tie killed the cred
immediately, so it's kind of too late. As for the song, uh, I think I'll
quote my more-indie-than-thou sister on this one - "He started out trying to
be Coldplay and then he did that stupid screaming and jumping thing. What
the hell was that?" It was... um... not good. Also, the first half of the
song, he was totally singing into a vacuum. The crowd was completely dead.
Almost as dead as they were when Gary Beals came, except that with Gary,
they were dead at the beginning and equally dead at the end. This audience
warmed up to Ryan about halfway through the song and got into it a bit when
he started his jumping. The best part of the whole performance was that
Billy leapt to his feet to applaud his husband
boyfriend only friend before the song was even over. Awwww.
<3! Eden liked Ryan. The girl on the other side of me liked Ryan. I didn't
like the song, but I still love Ryan. So.
Canadian Hits medley! Kalan in a cowboy hat! EEEEEE! Dude, why do they always choose such lame Canadian hits? Shania freaking Twain? God, people. Theresa managed to actually make the song sound decent, but it was even more obvious live that her voice is totally shot - she almost lost it mid-word in one line. Kaleb kicked ass on "Sundown" - 308430484 times better than Jacob's version, and Gordon Lightfoot looked ridiculously proud. Josh was completely outclassed, not only in this medley, but the entire night. In fact, he may well have been tied with Manoah in the "least deserving member of the Top 10, if you judge by finale alone" award, because Brandy actually sort of sounded decent for most of the night. Also, at least Manoah has the "my accident damaged my vocal chords" excuse, while Josh has none. It was almost unfair to make Kalan sing with Josh, because as soon as his part kicked it, it was just so much better. My Elena hate came rushing back with her oversinging. She (like Gary F. Beals) gives drama/theatre students everywhere a bad name. The best part of the medley? Again, that would be Shane and his bit of "Bulletproof" - forget Richie Wilcox, dude, if Shane had sung that song like that on Canadian Hits night, I would've voted for him, The Darkness or no The Darkness! I mean, damn. Oh, and Jason actually sounded decent singing The Weight - I think if you forced the guy to sing nothing but folky country-tinged Canadiana, he would be way more tolerable than he is otherwise.
"Share the Land" was lovely - such a darn Canadian song, with Canadian flags and maple leafs on the screens behind them... I'm a total sucker for that kind of thing. Part of what makes me love CI is the show's willingness to be absolutely, unapologetically Canuck, and say, "Hell, we live in the best country in the world - let's celebrate that, eh!", and for this song to be the last thing the Top 10 sang together was perfect. When it was done, before they went off, Jacob hugged Shane, Kalan hugged Theresa and then Manoah, and Theresa hugged Elena, Shane, and Jason. Hee.
Kalan came out early, while the blahblah judges yadda yadda clip show was still going, and the subtle change in confidence the child displayed as he waited to perform was evident - earlier in the season, every time he'd come out even a few seconds early, he'd stand around awkwardly shuffling his feet, biting his lip, etc. - this time he just stood calmly and, yes, blushed as he watched himself on screen, but stood his ground and waited for his moment in the spotlight. "Nature Boy" is even more eerily beautiful live than it is watching on tape. Every time I listen to him sing that second "very far", I get chills and melt into an internal and eternal fangirl for life. *sigh* He needs to record this so I can pathetically buy 980989080343 copies. Midway through the song, the crowd just went absolutely silent - you could literally hear a pindrop.
Theresa's "Good Mother" was a beautiful wreck in that the poor girl looked clearly like she was hanging by a thread in terms of both physical and vocal exhaustion, and yet she glued her eyes to her mother and sang her heart out. She looked like she was finally on the verge of losing it and just breaking down in tears at the end, and not quite in a "Oh, Theresa always cries" way, either. Poor thing.
And then, ohmiGod, the Kalaresa Duet of Ubercuteness and Love! It should’ve been orchestrated cheez, but the second they looked at each other, it was clear there was no stage, no cameras, no competition - for these few minutes, they were singing for each other and nothing else. When Theresa’s voice broke off at the end of her first verse, the way Kalan looked at her almost made me cry. There was this fierce protectiveness in his eyes, an instantaneous look of "If you can’t sing another word, I’ll hold your hand and sing them all for you." And then the boy sang "Show me your smile/Don’t be unhappy…" and yes, I got teary. It was just so absolutely sincere, so absolutely perfect, crystallized in that moment. When it was over and they were holding each other and Theresa sobbed, clearly, "I love you. I’m so proud of you!", it was all I could do to not bawl along with her. Say it with me now - AWWWWW! Theirloveissosiblingesque!
The commercial break before the announcement was pretty telling. Theresa
barely looked nervous; Kalan, on the other hand, was as white as a sheet,
and the hand that wasn’t clutching Theresa’s for dear life was visibly
shaking. Jason came out and hugged them both; then, at the last second
before the cameras rolled, Jacob ran out, slung an arm around each of them,
and kissed them on the cheek. It was maybe sort of cute.
The actual moment of truth... well, the cameras were glued to the child’s face, we all saw it. I know it was a foregone conclusion, but I was holding my breath until his name was announced, and I kind of screamed uncontrollably like a total fangirl when it was. He turned around and started wiping away tears almost immediately after he let go of Theresa - or vice versa, rather, for once. The CTV photog who captured the moment when the boy looked up at the streamers falling from the sky with an expression of angelic wonder on his face? Genius. It was seriously the cutest moment ever and I just watched him watching the ceiling until he was engulfed in hugs again.
I have a confession to make regarding "Awake in a Dream". The first time I heard it, I was fully willing to say it was the worst song ever, but now I have to say, the dreck has gotten stuck in my head and quite possibly might be growing on me. Um. *whine* I can’t help it! It’s Kalan’s song now! I can’t hate Kalan’s song! Okay, I can, and I can think it’s dreck, but it’s not as bad as, say, the hideousness that is Guy Sebastien’s "Angels Brought Me Here" or Fantasia’s "I Believe". "I Believe" is actually probably tied in badness with "AIAD", technically, but "AIAD" wins in my mind, because a) anything Canadian is automatically better than anything American, b) there are no rainbows or pots of gold in AIAD, and c) Kalan is forty billion times better than Fantasia.
For anyone who thought the child looked remarkably composed through his singout, you should have seen a few of the moments after the cameras went off. The second he saw his mother, he put his arms around her, put his head on her shoulder, and for a brief minute, just sobbed. Dear God, be still my heart! *swoon* After he hugged his dad and sisters and started hugging (or being hugged, rather) by random production people, I tore my eyes off him and hightailed it to the press conference.
When I got to the media room, Ben was already midway through his blathering. Dude likes listening to the sound of his own voice way too much. For each five-word question he was asked, he literally talked for entire paragraphs. My favourite part of his nonsense was when he decided to make a big speech in defense of Ryan:
"I gotta say, watching Ryan Malcolm perform that song, that was a very, very happy surprise for me. He wrote most of the lyrics of that song. To watch him performing up there, and really take over the stage - I remember watching his first performance post-Idol on a stage, and the difference in confidence is night and day. If this is the gonna be the first single from his next album and if he’s gonna have a hand in writing and fashioning his image more than on his first album, I fully anticipate a third and a fourth and a fifth. He’s got the talent for it, he’s got the confidence, and if he has the backing of the people that matter, he’s gonna go as far as he wants to go. Kalan, I think, is probably gonna go off to a faster start, I think if only because he’s the second."
The judges came next, and since Zack wasn’t around, Jake decided he was going to be the cool one and wouldn’t let anyone get a word in edgewise. Sass didn’t care, because she just interrupted whenever she felt like it and didn’t mind if no one was listening. Farley just waited patiently until Jake decided to shut his mouth and then inserted his comments. Basically, they were all just, "Rah rah rah! We discover Canadian talent! This show rocks because we go to the talent instead of expecting the talent to come to us!" Jake got in a few semi-amusing snarky comments - he snarked on Popstars and when Farley said something about having to compete with "our massive neighbour beneath us" he quipped, "But the key is that the U.S. is beneath us." Heeeee!
Whatever, Jake. CTV types blathered a bit next - Suzanne Boyce first, and she had nothing particularly interesting to say, and then John Brunton, who basically told us that CI is different from AI because it has a lot more "heart and soul". He used this phrase at least five times, which was rather redundant, but the weird thing is, it’s true. Cowell wouldn’t know real heart and soul if it smacked him in the face.
Then… Theresa! Poor, poor girl, I’ve said this several times now, but her voice is just shot to absolute hell. She was barely whispering her answers to spare her throat and sounded like she shouldn’t be talking for days on end. The first question she was asked was "Are you okay?" and her answer was a very honest "I don’t know." She had nothing particularly interesting to say except that she admitted that she suffered from major confidence issues on Final Two performance night and had huge problems getting through her sing of AIAD because of the length:
"Yeah, there were a lot of confidence issues for me yesterday. The first song was a really hard one for me to get through - it’s a long song and it takes a lot out of you. After the first song was done, the nerves kind of melted off, and it was okay again."
Yeah, honey - we could tell. She seemed relieved that it was all over and gushed a little over Kalan, saying how much they loved each other, etc.
Finally… the new Idol came out with Lisa Zbitnew of BMG to sign his new recording contract. The skary part of it was that the child looked like he’d never seen the contract before in his life. I know he really has no choice other than to sign it, since they sign away their lives once they get into the Top 10, but still, it’s weird that he looked like he’d never seen it. Last year, Ryan joked that he hadn’t read it, as Kalan did this year, but he then admitted the final two had been through the contract briefly with a lawyer. I seriously hope the same thing happened this year, but Kalan had to ask where to sign it twice, so… I’m kind of dubious. He was also presented with a cheque, to which he made a very cute raised eyebrows, mischevious-eyed face with an adorable teeth-clicking sound effect to boot.
He then took questions from the media, and while he can’t command a press room like Ryan - one thing that Ryan will always have over this kid is that he could really command the press, and brought the snark every time he opened his mouth - he handled himself beautifully and was very well-spoken. The child needs to eliminate the words "you know" from his vocabulary and stop ending his sentences with the word "so", but, uh, those are two of my own weaknesses in speech, and I’m several years older than the child and am a qualified English teacher. Whoops.
He was asked how he felt about the screaming fangirls and blushed (of course!) and replied, "I really feel like the same normal, average guy, but it’s really flattering." A reporter then yelled out, "There’s more to come!" and he turned even redder and laughed kind of nervously and said, "We’ll see." Dear me, child, you will see.
He also said he would love to write his own songs, gushed over Theresa a bit and said he honestly would have been just as happy if she’d won:
"It might sound a little over-diplomatic, but it’s not at all - you know, I really would have been just as happy if Theresa had won. It was that kind of thing. We both were so excited for each other. I wasn’t really that nervous, but when I found out, the first thing that went through my head was, [really adorable little voice] 'Oh, crap, now I have to sing!' I was just trying to hold it together, so."
He then said he was looking forward to touring/live shows, and said, in response to how he’d feel hearing AIAD on the radio, "I’m not sure I’ll be able to listen to it, just ‘cause I’m kinda my own worst critic." Aww. He made many very cute faces throughout, some of which I managed to capture on camera. The last question came from someone at the back of the room, who yelled out, "I have a question!" The child kind of rolled his eyes and laughed, and then explained, "That’s my dad." "Does this mean I need a new hired man on the ranch?" Mr. Porter quipped, and the press conference ended with Kalan and all the members of the press laughing. Super aww.
Oh, and did I mention that I spoke to Kalan and his sisters after the press conference? Or that they came over and spoke to me, rather? And that, um, holy fangirly hell, Kalan hugged me?! OH MY GOD. The child. Voluntarily. Hugged me! *dies* Okay, so he was hugging half the female journalists in the room and shaking the hands of the guys, because that’s just one of those post-win things - Ryan did exactly the same thing last year - but stilllllll!!!!!
Okay. *deep breath* I’m going to stop being a pathetic fangirl and start being a reasonable adult again.
Oh - speaking of Ryan, he appeared in the hallway behind the media room when I was on my way out, and he and Kalan were hugging and shaking hands and looking thoroughly pleased with each other, so I’m guessing the rumours about Ryan hating Kalan or whatever weren’t true… or if they were, he’s decided to pretend to like him in hopes of using him to further his own career. *snerk*
And thus ended my CI adventures for the season. It’s been a thoroughly enjoyable ride and I hope to do it again next season, although my better instincts tell me that next season is going to suck royally. Ah, well - it would probably be better for me if it did. In the end, this season will always be, to me, about a girl who won me over by saying Sarah Harmer was her idol and then proved herself worthy, and about the boy who won me over the second he opened his mouth and made me believe, for a few minutes, that he really was born to be wild.
Canada, thank you for getting it right.
Signing off for the season,
- dramagrrl