Anti-Claus Is Coming To Town
The choir sings christmas carols in
the town square, while Merton directs. Okay, everyone stop
singing, he says...except for Lori. She starts to sing, and she
is horrible, so Merton tells her she's out of the choir. Tommy
shows up, and Merton reprimands him for being a "tardy pants."
When Tommy explains he MIGHT have been out buying someone's gift
(for Merton maybe??) Merton dismisses the choir and tells him
it's okay. A hint on what gift it is? Tommy tells him you can fit
five things into it. The dvd changer, Merton asks?! Soon after, a
sleigh crashes downtown, and santa is found in the driver's seat.
They bring him back to Merton's bedroom, and they talk to him. He
tells them how he must have clipped a telephone line while
changing the radio station, while he stuffs his face with
sandwiches they made for him. He pulls down his fake beard and is
unshaven, looking very much unlike Santa...plus, he's far from
jolly as Merton points out. Tommy is excited, meeting Santa again
(he saw him last year and sat on his lap.) Merton tells Tommy,
this isn't Santa, and you know why? Santa doesn't exist! He goes
into math about how he only has 31 hours to visit 90+ million
homes and he would have to be flying 3000 times the speed of
sound, which would turn him into toast. Plus, how does someone as
big as you fit down a chimney? He puts his hand thru a very small
tube, to show that it can be done...it's Christmas magic. Merton
is now all excited, like a little kid he jumps into Santa's lap.
"Santa!!"
The three help Santa back into his sleigh and see him off. They
talk about Christmas and what it's all about. Merton gives Tommy
a clock that shows the full lunar cycle, so he'll know when he's
going to wolf out from now on. Merton looks thry Tommy's bag, and
sees a pair of gloves, and he gets mad, thinking that Tommy
didn't put any thought into his gift. (You can fit five things
into it- 5 fingers...haha.) They find an old man who asks for
directions, and Merton tells him to buzz of. The man says he is
Santa and the other guy who said he was Santa is really the anti
clause who wants to end Christmas for everyone. He's actually the
real Santa's brother, Roger. He has to stop Roger from ruining
Christmas, but no one believes that he's the real Claus. He says
he cannot do anything magical without his suit. He plays them a
tape from the sleigh with Roger talking about ruining Christmas,
and they find out this new guy REALLY IS Santa.
Tommy and Roger fight, and Roger falls from the sleigh...now
Tommy needs to land the sleigh, but he has no idea how! Somewhere
along the line, Merton throws Tommys clock on the ground,
breaking it, because he is sure the gloves in the bag are his
gift. He tells Tommy he is sorry for doing so, he was just
thinking no thought went into his gift, and he was hurt. Tommy
tells him, the gloves are for Dean! He needs gloves or his hands
with get blisters from holding the remote! What he got Merton was
a new kevlar jacket with 5 pockets, and Lori pitched in some cash
too. Santa tells them that without the candy cane controls on the
sleigh, there is no way to get down safely, but they figure out a
way, and Tommy gets down safely. They all apolgize for being
greedy and materialistic, Christmas is about friends and family.
Santa gives them their gifts, a new playstation 2 for Tommy, a
dvd changer for Merton, and a kickboxing bag for Lori.
Merton changes his mind just like Scrooge on Christmas, and he
lets Lori back into the choir to sing with them all. Roger has
learned a lesson, and will not try to ruin Christmas again.
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created on: December 13, 2001
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