Dispan Man Trial By Fire Firing Line Quarterback Sneak The Theory Of Revolution The Say UNCLE Affair Alive At Five Family Reunion The Crystal Skull
The Spy Who Mugged Me Point Of No Return The Grey Team Without Reservations
Frankie: “Hey, I couldn’t
help noticing that jacket. It’s beginning to dry out and crack. You ever try tanning butter?”
Murdock: “Only on
pancakes, and it tastes pretty yucky.”
Frankie: “Huh?”
Murdock: “Well, it did turn my tongue a nice shade of brown.”
(Dishpan Man)
Frankie (about Murdock):
“Who is he?”
Face: “Well, uh, when we get on a plane, you can sit next to him. And if you figure him out, let us know.”
(Dishpan Man)
Frankie: “Are you okay?”
Murdock: “That has never satisfactorily been determined.”
(Dishpan Man)
Murdock: “Colonel, I can
track him. From the air.”
Hannibal: “From the air?”
BA: “Man’s crazy.”
Murdock: “Follow me.
Lately I’ve been packing a helicopter with my underwear.”
Hannibal: “A helicopter?”
BA: “Where’d you get this thing
from?”
Murdock: “Put it together at the pipe shop at the VA.”
(Dishpan Man)
Bad Guy: “Kill him, he’s a
fool.”
Murdock: “Oh yeah, kill the fool, kill the fool. Do you know there are places in this world where fools are worshiped? Like… Hollywood, California”
(Dishpan Man)
Murdock: “You know, I, I
think that big angry guy is getting worse.”
Face: “Yeah? Terrific.”
(Dishpan Man)
Stockwell: “Well, I
understand the army is reviewing candidates for your firing squad.”
Hannibal: “Aw, gee, you didn’t have to go to all this trouble just to cheer me up.”
(Trial By Fire)
Stockwell: “Are you
suggesting that I interfere with the due process of the law?”
Hannibal: “I figured I do better with a firing squad.”
(Trial By Fire)
Lawyer: “I thought we were
beginning to make some progress.”
Face: “Well, uh, B.A.’s always been just a bit, uh, high strung.”
(Trial By Fire)
Hannibal: “Murdock, on the stand, that should be interesting.”
(Trial By Fire)
Murdock: (sounds of Indian and
naval attacks, and large lizards in background) “This is Captain
Murdock. I’m under attack. May day! May day! I’m under
attack! May day! No, is it possible, for one to make a May day call in
January? Quick, someone bring me an army manual.”
Girl: “Oh, I’m sorry,
Captain. We just ran out of army manuals. And all we have left are
the navy manuals, and a few vegetarian boy scout manuals.”
Murdock: “Then, you’d better kiss me.”
(Trial By Fire)
Guard: “Put your hands
away from your body, and don’t move.”
Murdock: “Then how do I get my hands away from my body?”
(Firing Line)
Face: “It’s not that bad,
Frank. I mean, uh, look we’ve been on the wanted list for ten years.
Believe me, it hasn’t been all that bad.”
Frankie: “You were almost
executed!”
Face: “Yeah, well, I mean, you have your good days, your bad days.”
(Firing Line)
Bad Guy: “You’re the
A-Team. I heard you were killed. You were killed this morning.”
Hannibal: “Well..... we’re back.”
(Firing Line)
BA: “How long you out for,
man?”
Murdock: “Oh, as long as I
want. I’m, I’m officially released.”
Face: “What?”
Murdock: “I’m, I’m no longer insane. I got my papers
and everything. The board reviewed my case, and uh, they released me.
The hospital did a terrific job. They cured me of all my
psychiatric ills.”
Frankie: “After more than
a decade?”
Murdock: “Well, the road
to hope is often parked upon.”
BA: “So are you. I may be glad to see you, but you’re still crazy.”
(Firing Line)
German: “What are you doing? Are you willing your friend’s life for a meaningless game?” Hannibal: “Well, you know us crazy Americans. Sometimes principle is everything.”
(Quarterback Sneak)
Hannibal: “This house of cards couldn’t keep us for five minutes. Check your security.”
Stockwell: “Where are Abel
6 and Abel 7?”
Hannibal: “Unable.“
(The Theory Of Revolution)
Face: “Oh, no.”
American Prisoner: “What’s
the matter? What’s going on?”
Face: “Uh, major part of our escape plan has just gone into the toilet.”
(The Theory Of Revolution)
Murdock: “I love the smell of a revolution in the morning! It smells like hushpuppies!”
(The Theory Of Revolution)
Murdock: “It’s so nice to
be back in L.A. The freeways, the shallow people, the superficial
relationships. How can you live anywhere else?”
Frankie: “Don’t forget the
smog.”
Murdock: “Ah, the smog.
The sunset when the light hits the inversion layer just right it turns a
beautiful shade of orange.”
Hannibal: “Brings a tear
to the eye.”
Murdock: “My sentiments exactly, Colonel.”
(The Say UNCLE Affair)
Murdock: “The ole scam man back in action, huh?”
Face: “The scam man is never out of action.”
(The Say UNCLE Affair)
Frankie: “We’re gonna be
fugitives. We’re gonna be out there all alone.“
BA: “Oh man, you’re making me nostalgic.”
(Say Uncle Affair)
Frankie: “How do you get
this stuff, man?”
Face: “Oh let me just say this, there’s a lovely young lady in the City Planter’s office who will be my guest for dinner at Lepaul.”
(The Say UNCLE Affair)
Hannibal: “Murdock and I
will check out the psychiatric hospital.”
Murdock: “Wait a minute.
Wait a minute. This little dohickey says I’m perfectly and
sensationally sane. (he shows Hannibal a
very colorful piece of paper that says “I am sane” with the ‘S’ backwards.)
I’m not going back to any mental hospital. “
Hannibal: “Ok, Murdock,
relax, relax. Murdock, I’m only asking you to pretend.”
Murdock: “Okay.”
(The Say UNCLE Affair)
Face: “I’m tellin you,
Stockwell has taken over our lives. He’s even, uh, taken over my dreams.”
Frankie: “Can he do that?”
(Alive At Five)
Face: “Now listen. The, uh, see the key to any
con is, uh, placing the mark in a position where he thinks that, uh,
reward will come, or, uh, harm will be avoided if he does exactly as he is
told by the character assumed by the con man.
Murdock: “That’s a
remarkably good analysis of a very complex issue, Face.”
Face: “Oh, thanks.
You know, I should write a book.”
Murdock: “Nope, nope, just a pamphlet.”
(Alive At Five)
BA: “Hold it Hannibal,
what about this road block. You don’t expect me to turn this heap of junk
into a tank with the spare parts from the kitchen, do you?”
Hannibal: “BA relax. Jump into the driver’s seat I got a better idea.”
(Alive At Five)
Murdock: “On the right and on the left you see representatives of the finest law enforcement agencies of the state. And save for their drab uniforms, they are a remarkable cohesive unit.”
(Alive At Five)
Face: “Christmas, Thanksgiving, those are family holidays. Family, you know, the mom, the dad, and 2.3 kids, uh, station wagon in the garage...”
(Family Reunion)
Murdock: “We, uh, we call
him Faceman because he is so good looking that he can extract the answer ‘yes’
from you without ever having asked a question. Sort of a con man’s tool
of trade, you know?”
AJ: “Doesn’t sound like a
very sincere kind of friend.”
Murdock: “No, no, no, no.
He’s, he’s a great guy. He’s always there in a pinch. He’d
rip the shirt off his back for you. Then he’d go out and scam one for
himself.”
AJ: “A con man with integrity. It’s an interesting combination.”
(Family Reunion)
Murdock: “Man who chases
too many dollars chases disappointment.”
Face: “Nah, it’s too
long.”
Murdock: “Eight words.
Eight words is the ideal fortune in a fortune cookie.”
Face: “Oh, ok, then it’s dumb. Besides, it’s not true.”
(The Crystal Skull)
Frankie: “This thing is
cursed. I can feel it in my bones.”
Face: “Ah, there’s no such
thing as a curse.”
Murdock: “Man who does not believe in curse brings self bad luck.”
(The Crystal Skull)
Face: “Passing Murdock off as a secret agent. Hannibal, he’s not even convincing as a sewage worker.”
(The Spy Who Mugged Me)
Murdock: “Orange juice, please. Shaken, not stirred.”
(The Spy Who Mugged Me)
Dominique: “Uh, mineral
water.”
Murdock: “May I suggest that you try that shaken, and not stirred.”
(The Spy Who Mugged Me)
BA: “Thanks for the help,
Murdock.”
Murdock: “It wouldn’t do for Logan Ross to break a sweat.”
(The Spy Who Mugged Me)
Dominique: “It appears the
odds have turned against you, Monsieur Ross.”
Murdock: “Yes, if I didn’t have such a beautiful face to look at, the evening would be a total loss.”
(The Spy Who Mugged Me)
Face: “You, you left me
out there! You were in there with her.”
Murdock: “What’re you
complaining about? At least you got some sleep. (yawning) I was up all night.”
Face: “Murdock! I’ll kill you!”
(The Spy Who Mugged Me)
Murdock: “Are you alright,
Mr. Ambassador?”
Ambassador: “Yes, yes.
But, good Lord, what’s going on here?”
Murdock: “I believe it’s a Rigaletto.”
(The Spy Who Mugged Me)
Face: “Frogue, the Jaguar.
I didn’t see that coming.”
Frankie: “It’s always the quiet ones.”
(The Spy Who Mugged Me)
Face: ”Dominique! I
really didn’t see that coming.”
Frankie: “It’s always the sexy ones.”
(The Spy Who Mugged Me)
BA: “Hey man, this time we gonna do it my way.”
(Point Of No Return)
Murdock: “Well he certainly doesn’t seem to have left an impression on anybody. You don’t think he’s a bad tipper, do you?”
(Point Of No Return)
Stockwell: “Where are Peck
and Murdock?”
Frankie: “Oh, well, uh,
Face, he saw a woman... that he knows. And Murdock, he, he saw...”
BA: “Somethin’ in his head. Ain’t no tellin’ what it was.”
(Point Of No Return)
Murdock: BA, look. Look at that flower. It’s
started.
BA: What you talkin about?
Murdock: That flower. Where I touched it, it’s
turned brown. I killed that flower with radioactivity. My hair is
falling out. I have started down the long last road to Dante’s nuclear
fires.
BA: It’s plastic, fool.
Murdock: Then it’s worse
than I thought.
(Point of No Return)
Murdock: “Ten min... ten min... my watch has stopped. First it’s a plastic leaf, now it’s my watch.”
(Point of No Return)
Frankie: “I want to have a family… you think we can still have children, Murdock?”
Murdock: “I don’t think I know you well enough.”
(Point of No Return)
Lin Wu: “I don’t know much
about nuclear materials, General. But I don’t think it would be healthy
if I were to fire right now.”
Hannibal: “Well, now, that would ruin a perfectly nice day.”
(Point Of No Return)
Bobby: “I love it when a
plan comes together!”
Hannibal: “Well said”
(Point Of No Return)
Stockwell: “Gentlemen, I
have a very important assignment for you. Her name is Paula Anderson.
“
Face: “Ah. Sorry, General, she’s a little young, you know uh, have her give me a call in five or six years.”
(The Grey Team)
Face: “Well, I’ll have to
give the KGB credit. Their agents are getting much better looking.”
Hannibal: “She’s not bad.”
(The Grey Team)
Hannibal: “Chasing thugs
through the park. Its got a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?”
Face: “Has a terrible ring
to it.”
Murdock: “Just think, if
we get a pardon, we may never have to eat a knuckle sandwich again.”
BA: “I wouldn’t bet on it,
Crazy Man. Looks like Hannibal’s on the Jazz again.”
Face: “What? What?”
Murdock: “No, no, no.
Now you tell me, right to my face. You tell me that you don’t have
a plan.”
Hannibal: “Well, I, I was
thinking, like Bernie and George. What are we gonna do when this thing’s
over? I mean, what are we really qualified to do?”
Face: “Go after thugs in
the park.”
Hannibal: “And outlaw
motorcycle gangs, organized crime figures. Why, there’s a world of slime
balls out there.”
Murdock: “I knew it.
I just knew you had a plan.”
Hannibal: “Comforting,
isn’t it?”
BA: “I’ll get the van.”
(The Grey Team)
Murdock: “Being a waiter
can be very satisfying, and it can be very lucrative. As a matter of fact
if you get one of the jobs in the finer restaurants in Washington DC, you can
make up to $100,000 a year.”
Face: “Mostly in
unreported cash.”
Murdock: “I would never cheat the government. Not after all they’ve done for me.”
(Without Reservations)
Face: “So, the, uh, food’s
good, Murdock?”
Murdock: “It’s excellent.”
Face: “Hmm, what do you
recommend?”
Murdock: “Well, the
chicken’s real good. The veal’s real good. Anything you want, it’s
real good.”
Face: “I thought you said
it was excellent.”
Murdock: “Said its real good.”
(Without Reservations)
Girl: “Who are you guys?
Who are you?”
Murdock: “I’m just a waiter.”
(Without Reservations)
Bad Guy: “Now, who do you
work for?”
Hannibal: “The Vienna Boy’s Choir. How ‘bout you?”
(Without Reservations)
Attorney General: “What
the hell is this?”
Murdock: “You better start thinking Chinese food, pal.”
(Without Reservations)
Hannibal: “How’s the
pain.”
Face: “Ugh. Only hurts when I breath.”
(Without Reservations)
BA: “You’s out cold for a
day and a half at the hospital.“
Frankie: “They said you
hit on two nurses while you were sedated.”
Face: “Really? How’d
I do?”
Hannibal: “You evoked
great sympathy. They left their telephone numbers for you.”
Face: “Ah.”
(Without Reservations)
