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"some people wear their smile like a disguise
those people who smile a lot watch the eyes
i know cause i'm like that a lot
you think everything's okay
it is till it's not"

"i am not a pretty girl
that is not what i do"

"i am not an angry girl
but it seems like i've got everyone fooled
every time i say something they find hard to hear
they chalk it up to my anger
and never to their own fear
and imagine you're a girl
just trying to finally come clean
knowing full well they'd prefer you
were dirty and smiling"

"i am not a pretty girl
i don't want to be a pretty girl
no i want to be more than a pretty girl"

"if you think you know what i'm doing wrong
you're gonna have to get in line"

"when i look down
i just miss all the good stuff
when i look up
i just trip over things"

"and i am still the worst company that i have ever kept
i just didn't want you to witness my weakness as i wept"

"we don't say everything that we could
so that we can say later
oh, you misunderstood
I hold my cards up
close to my chest
I say what I have to
and I hold back the rest"

"seems like everyone's an actor
or they're an actor's best friend
I wonder what was wrong to begin with
that they should all have to pretend"

"cuz you lie
in my face of all places
but i've got no
problem with that really
what bugs me
is that you believe what you're saying
what bothers me
is that you don't know how you feel
what scares me
is that while you're telling me stories
you actually
believe that they are real"

"when i said i'll take it
i meant,
i meant as is"

"and they say that alcoholics are always alcoholics
even when they're as dry as my lips for years
even when they're stranded on a small desert island
with no place in 2,000 miles to buy beer
and i wonder
is he different?
is he different?
has he changed? what's he about?...
or is he just a liar with nothing to lie about?"

"i don't fool myself
like i fool you"

"let's show them how it's done
let's do it all imperfectly"

"And god help you if you are an ugly girl
Course too pretty is also your doom
Cause everyone harbors a secret hatred
For the prettiest girl in the room"

"and i've been frantically piling up sandbags
against the flood waters of fatigue and insecurity"

"so many sheep i quit counting
sleepless and embarrassed about the way that i feel
trying to make mole hills out of mountains
building base camp at the bottom of a really big deal"

"and I don't think I'm better than you
but I don't think that I'm worse
women learn to be women
and men learn to be men
and I don't blame it all on you
but I don't want to be your friend"

"I have written so much about you
so much I thought I knew
words like water used to flow
now what could I possibly have to say?
she is someone I don't even know"

"you are like fish in the water
who don't know that they are wet
as far as I can tell
the world isn't perfect yet"

"some of life’s best lessons
are learned at the worst times"

"i am telling you i'm different than you
think i am"

"I always wanted to be
commander in chief
of my one woman army"

"but I can envision the mediocrity
of my finest hour"

"and this vague little smile
is my all-purpose expression
the meaning of which
i'll leave to your discretion"

"you can doubt anything
if you think about it long enough"

"cuz nothing is as it appears
in the funhouse mirrors of your fears"

"and win or lose just that we choose
this little war is what kills us
and either/or it's that this war
is maybe also what thrills us"

"and i say, i'm sorry i'm so crazy
I am astounded by your patience
and you say, believe it or not, baby
the joy you bring me
still outweighs it"

"but she never sees things changing
she only sees them ending
and some vicious whispering voice
keeps saying you have no choice"

"self-preservation
is a full time occupation
i'm determined
to survive on these shores"

"The Next Big Thing"

hello
it's me
I'm returning your call
it's monday wednesday friday
between noon and three
he says I
usually just let the phone ring
but I've always got a minute of time
for the next big thing

and I wonder
how can he see where he's going
with those dollar signs in front of his eyes?
I say thank you
for your interest
but my thing is already
just the right size

hello
it's me
yes I'll play for the door
nothing more
on a tuesday
he says baby
what is your name
I forgot
he says baby
tell me again
are you really hot

and I think
he does not hear what I'm saying
he's just looking at my eight by ten
and wondering about
the part that was left out
does she have a body
that will really draw them in?

how much do you want
how much are you willing to do
baby this is no business
for a sweet little girl like you
can you play the game
act it out
frame for frame
do you know your lines
let's hear them one more time

but I'd rather pay my dues
to the six people
sitting at the bar
than to all those men
in their business suits
who say I'll take you away from this"

"but I always feel I have to
take a stand
and there's always someone on hand
to hate me for standing there
I always feel I have to open my mouth
and every time I do
I offend someone
somewhere"

"you know I can't apologize
for everything I know
I mean you don't have to agree with me
but once you get me going
you better just let me go"

"I fight fire with words
words are hotter than flames
words are wetter than water"

"this is not who i meant to be
this is not how i meant to feel"

"what good is a poker face
when you've got an open hand?"

"you are a china shop
and I am a bull
you are really good food
and I am full"

"so go ahead
make your next bold move
tell us
what's the next thing you're gonna need to prove
to yourself"

"we're all citizens of the womb
before we subdivide
into sexes and shades"

"art is why I get up in the morning
but my definition ends there
and it doesn't seem fair
that I'm living for something I can't even define"

"this is not my obligation
what does my body have to do
with my gratitude?"

"self-preservation
is a full time occupation
I'm determined
to survive on this shore"

"I am a work in progress
dressed in the fabric of a world unfolding
offering me intricate patterns of questions
rhythms that never come clean
and strengths that you still haven't seen"

"what doesn't bend breaks"

"the mainstream is so polluted with lies
once you get wet, it's so hard to get dry"

"I've got a heavy heart to carry
but a very strong will"

"'cause i know the biggest crime is just to throw up your hands,say this has nothing to do with me i just want to live as comfortably as i can you got to look outside your eyes you got to think outside your brain you got to walk outside your life to where the neighborhood changes"


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