Kathryn Janeway awoke slowly, stretching luxuriously in the starlight. She sighed. And smiled. Her body purred with glorious contentment, every muscle pervaded by an exquisite lassitude. Eyes not yet open, she indulged herself in momentary indolence, basking in the relaxation of her body – a languor that was the result of far more than sleep...
Her eyes snapped open in panic. Oh, no - I didn’t. Did I? I DID...
Wide awake now, she turned her head to find the inert form of B'Elanna Torres sleeping next to her. Good Lord. She ran her hand over her throat, then downward, finding the wound on her collarbone still encrusted with dried blood. Sweet Heavens... Never in my wildest... well, maybe my wildest, but certainly never my normal dreams... Her eyes trailed over the angry purplish-red marks on B'Elanna’s shoulders, down her back, visible even in the near-darkness... Not good. This is not good at all.
On the contrary, her mind smirked. It was very good.
She pushed the thought to the back of her mind, sliding carefully from the bed and grabbing the dermal regenerator from the nightstand. This is the last thing I need, she thought as she moved stealthily to the bath. Absolutely, positively, unequivocally the last thing I should ever have done...
She closed the door and ordered for lights, squinting in the artificial brightness. How could she have let this happen? How could she have forgotten every rule she had set for herself, every unspoken limit on her own behavior... Very easily, she reflected. From the moment she had touched B'Elanna’s lips, it had been a foregone conclusion. And what a conclusion it was... Her body hummed with undiminished gratification. Every nerve ending sang in joyous fulfillment.
Her own image in the mirror caught her eye and she turned, opening her eyes slowly. "God-almighty-damn," she breathed. Her body was dotted with tiny pink marks. The largest bite-mark, on her clavicle, looked much nastier than her touch had indicated. There were finger-bruises on her shoulders and breasts... leaning closer, she noted a suction bruise on her right nipple. Four perfect crescent-moon-shaped marks decorated the top of each thigh, left there undoubtedly by B'Elanna’s fingernails. Closing her eyes, she leaned on the counter and dropped her head.
All right, she ordered herself, it’s done. No going back. Damage control.
Damage? her conscience prodded her. What damage? You consented to this... hell, Kathryn, you initiated it. What is there to control? You did precisely what you wanted to do, with a person you care about deeply, and who cares about you deeply. You not only could do worse, Kathryn, you have done worse. Cheb Packer, for instance. He didn’t care about you, he only wanted someone to blame for his problems. Justin Tighe, for instance. Not once did he see to your pleasure – he never learned to please you, and then told you it was your own fault. Recently, for instance - when you locked yourself in the tower of Command and denied yourself your most basic needs, and had the unmitigated gall to claim it was "for the good of the ship" when the real reason was, you couldn’t stand the thought of possibly losing another lover. You were being damned cowardly, Kathryn.
She opened her eyes to stare at herself in the mirror.
B'Elanna wanted you last night, the voice said matter-of-factly. She let you take the lead, which is a big thing for her, and she gave you everything you could ever have asked last night. She pleased you, she cared for you, and she respected you last night.
Yes, she thought. But... She leaned her hips against the counter and looked into her own eyes, raising an eyebrow at herself. "Will she still respect me in the morning?" she murmured wryly. Pushing herself away from the counter, she ran the sonic shower.
B'Elanna Torres woke before her alarm went off, and smiled. Kathryn... the thought came to her. Kathryn Janeway and I are lovers... Kathryn Janeway is sharing my bed... She reached behind her, sliding her hand to where her new lover lay. Kathryn Janeway is...
Gone.
B'Elanna turned around quickly. The other side of the mattress was inhabited only by Starfleet-issue bedding.
"Computer – lights!" she ordered. She inspected her bed. No warm spot, no indentation in the pillow – not even a single red hair to evidence Kathryn’s presence during the night. B'Elanna slumped. Could it have been another dream? No. Impossible. Dreams were never that good. She picked up the pillow and inhaled of it deeply. Nothing unusual. She dropped it unceremoniously to the bed.
"Damn!" B'Elanna sat up, hugging her knees. Not even Kathryn’s scent remained... Impulsively, she brought her fingertips to her lips and was immediately assaulted by the heady fragrance. Not her own. Sweet. Subtle. Earthy, and tangy... and Human. B'Elanna smiled. Human. She smiled more broadly. Kathryn. She slapped her arm around her own neck, feeling for the scar on her left shoulder blade. Gone... Removed by Kathryn... last night...
B'Elanna grinned.
Kathryn Janeway reported for duty early, as usual, and with questionable efficiency, taking the morning report from the bridge crew and retreating hastily to her ready-room. Her entire body ached from overuse. There was a small pressure bandage on her clavicle, purloined from B'Elanna’s medikit; she still bore several other reminders of the previous night’s activities, not having had the time to use the dermal regenerator on all of them. Going over her daily reports, she traced her fingertips over the bandage under her uniform. She had never had a Klingon lover before. Face it, Kathryn, you’ve had precious few lovers, period, she thought. And not one of them ever made you feel even remotely like this.
Kathryn smiled in spite of herself. Who would have thought that she, Captain Kathryn Janeway, would have it in her? Her smile deepened. Certainly not B'Elanna. She chuckled. B'Elanna Torres had been a more-than-pleasant surprise. Kathryn had half-expected screaming, wrestling, heavy objects flying through the air – aimed at her... B'Elanna had been relatively tame. Though certainly, Kathryn reflected, more violent than even her most tumultuous Human lover.
Pressing her thumb to the signature screen of the report in her hand, she absently wondered if B'Elanna had considered last night tame. Probably not, she answered herself, picking up the Astrometrics report. It was probably pretty normal for her. Kathryn stood and massaged her neck. If last night was normal, she needed to go to the gym more often. She grinned at that. Stay with B'Elanna, and the gym might not be necessary, she thought, taking the padd and her coffee to the couch.
As her eyes skimmed the contents of the report, she allowed her mind to wander. Last night – such innocuous words for the single most erotic experience of her life. So many firsts... her first Klingon lover, her first female lover... All right, maybe not her first, but aside from some very tentative experimentation as a teenager... Certainly the first time she had been in bed with a woman. A beautiful, sensuous, altogether-just-too-sexy-for-words woman... She lay the report aside and leaned her head onto the back of the couch, closing her eyes and remembering. B'Elanna had been so passionate, so responsive, so single-mindedly insistent... And she, Kathryn had reached her climax much faster than she ever had before – embarrassingly quickly...
She luxuriated in memory – body memory that re-awaked desire. Was it that B'Elanna was female? Or that she wanted Kathryn with such raw hunger? Or was it because it had been too long – far too long, B'Elanna had put it – since she had known the touch of another’s hands? She could still feel those hands on her body; strong hands, confident hands that had awakened her, calling forth a hunger she had never known existed in her. Warm hands that had stroked her, held her, teased her... Demanding hands that had clasped her breasts, lifted her hips to that sweetly demanding mouth...
Memories continued to surface - B'Elanna’s rich, full lips, so soft and warm... B'Elanna’s mouth the sweetest velvet as they kissed, so hungry, urgent, impatient... Disjointed images of the night came to her, searing her with raw eroticism. B'Elanna’s snarl as she roared in her passion; B'Elanna arching and turning, ardent under her hands as Kathryn stroked within her; B'Elanna’s face flushed with her desire, her climax, her lips parted, panting and growling and whispering her name... calling her name... screaming her name...
It might be the hormones talking, but maybe this wasn’t such a bad thing after all. B'Elanna was an adult, she understood the need for discretion... And Kathryn knew in her heart that the night was more than a momentary lapse in judgement – for either of them. It was what they both wanted. Had been wanting for some time. And if they had wanted one another for as long as Kathryn suspected, then professionalism really wasn’t an issue. They had both proven that. Kathryn sighed. But then, they hadn’t dealt with the reality of it, either. She knew that from now on, no matter what happened, B'Elanna knew what she looked like under her uniform. Smiling, she reflected that she certainly would never see B'Elanna in the same light...
She glanced at the time. Six hours, thirteen minutes. She had exactly that much time to pull herself together and get down to business before she saw B'Elanna again. The meeting – that would be the test. If they could pull this off, then they could make it work long-term.
She picked up the Astrometrics report again and sipped her coffee. Business as usual, she nodded to herself. But in the corner of her mind, memories continued to surface, like pages from a scrapbook; B'Elanna gasping quietly through parted lips as Kathryn touched her breasts for the first time... B'Elanna writhing beneath her as Kathryn pinned her wrists to the bed... B'Elanna crying out in unabashed pleasure as Kathryn bit her clavicle...
Stop it, she told her mind, rising from the couch and seating herself firmly behind her desk. This is neither the time nor the place.
All right, her mind smiled.
I’m going to work now. She picked up the Mess Hall report.
Have a nice day, her mind answered pleasantly. But as she scrolled through the report, she could hear pages turning...
On her hands and knees under an engineering console, B'Elanna was remembering. Kathryn’s softness. Her sweetness. Her incredible responsiveness... Sighing at herself in disgust, she re- re-aligned the sensor relay. Concentrate, Torres...
It quickly became very clear that there was only one thing on which B'Elanna Torres could concentrate. Kathryn... she turned the word over and over in her mind. Kathryn... If she said it a thousand times, she would never hear it enough. And the way Kathryn had whispered her own name.... the thought made B'Elanna shiver. Even still, she could hear it – that low, throaty murmur, almost a growl, the word reaching her ears as Kathryn arched sinuously beneath her... "B'Elanna..." And even more, during the night... "Yes... B'Elanna... so beautiful... so good..."
B'Elanna closed her eyes. Kathryn had been so beautiful... so perfect, escalating quickly from the sweetness of their first kisses to the ardor of their joining... an effortless merging of tender loving and demanding passion. B'Elanna remembered with pleasure the look on Kathryn’s face, taunting her, daring her – inviting her to take what she wanted... and Kathryn gave it, everything B'Elanna wanted and more, never shying away, never stopping, never letting up until B'Elanna lay trembling and spent in her arms. She remembered Kathryn’s climax – her body arched in perfect trembling tension, her nails digging into B'Elanna’s hands as she tried to contain it... harness it... And then the moment of release, Kathryn bucking against her mouth, arching off the bed, her cries of pleasure free and clear...
"Are you well, Lieutenant?"
B'Elanna Torres jerked her head up with a resounding *thwack* on the underside of the console. She let it hang for a moment, chin to her chest, gathering her wits. "I was..."
"Your recent behavior would indicate a high degree of preoccupation, or perhaps illness." She shifted, looked up at Ensign Vorik. Was he actually concerned? "Perhaps it would be advisable for you to seek medical attention."
"I think not." She climbed to her feet. "Thanks anyway."
"I have noticed several deviations in your normal behavior patterns," he continued, following her to the main console. "You are taking shorter rest periods, have refrained from your midday meal, and have logged an inordinate number of consecutive hours at that particular console. All of these behaviors, in combination with a general lack of attentiveness, suggest that you are performing at less than optimum."
She lifted her head and stared at the warp core for a moment, reminding herself that for a Vulcan, he was being polite. "Look, Vorik," she turned to his impassive face. "I appreciate that you’re concerned. But this is really personal, and I’m performing just fine." She went back to feeding her diagnostic information to the console.
"It involves inter-personal relations, then," he cocked his head to one side.
"Somewhat," she answered, cursing herself inwardly. "It has more to do with the fact that I didn’t get much sleep last night," she said, turning to face him. "I’m fine, really." She turned to her desk module and pulled up the maintenance schedule. "Here," she swiveled it so that he could see. "Pick a job – any job." Just get out of my hair.
Vorik raised an eyebrow and signed off on the topmost task, turning to grab a toolkit and walk to the access hatch.
B'Elanna glanced at the time. Three hours. She had three hours until she could see Kathryn again...
She arrived at the meeting early, hoping to have a few precious moments alone with Kathryn. When did I start thinking of her as Kathryn instead of Captain? she mused, stifling her smile into a professional mask. When did I first notice the exact color of her eyes... the shape of her mouth... She paused before the conference room door in sweet anticipation, then entered.
To find Kathryn already embroiled in a heated discussion with Chakotay.
"You mean to tell me the new torpedo casings don’t fit?" She stared at the padd in her hand. "Who let this get by?" She barely glanced up as B'Elanna entered the room. So much for time alone.
"Ensign Wildman was in charge of that shipment," Chakotay answered. "She’s already been reprimanded."
Janeway sighed and tossed the padd to the table. "No sense crying over spilled milk, I suppose," she said wearily.
"To tell you the truth, Samantha is more upset than anyone else," Chakotay noted. He tilted his head in a half-shrug. "At least we have something to trade in the future..."
"Yes," the Captain said dryly. "Assuming someone else wants them." She sighed again. "All right, we’ll just have to make the best of it." She turned. "B'Elanna."
B'Elanna smiled at her – a smile that quickly faded. There was no recognition of their relationship in Kathryn’s eyes, no smile lurking behind her carefully constructed command demeanor. B'Elanna swallowed. Could last night have been a one-time occurrence? Did Kathryn even remember...
"I want you to inspect those casings," the Captain ordered. "See if you can mill them down to the proper size. Or if not, perhaps you can use the raw elements for something else we need."
B'Elanna swallowed convulsively again. "Aye, Captain." What the hell is going on?
The Senior Staff began to file in for the meeting. B'Elanna slumped in her chair, lost in her own thoughts.
Kathryn watched her from the corner of her eye. So far, so good – no unusual behavior, no awkward glances... As Chakotay presented his report, Kathryn’s mind wandered. She looked down the table to B'Elanna. She is such a beauty... that hair... Kathryn thought, remembering the feel of it in her hands. Such thick, lustrous hair... and those hands – I’ll bet she can do anything with those hands. Pick up bubbles. Bend titanium. Cure the sick, heal the lame... I know she can bring frozen passion back to life. She caught herself staring and turned her attention to the padd in front of her, thanking whatever deities existed for automatic recordings of staff meetings. She was certain she wouldn’t remember a word of it. She looked at B'Elanna again as the engineer presented her report, completely professional. She’s not the one you need to worry about, Janeway noted to herself wryly. A thought came to her. Or is she... She scrolled through her padd surreptitiously, looking for the final test.
At the other end of the table, B'Elanna carefully glanced at Kathryn, seeing only the cold, implacable stare of command. Averting her eyes, she realized that her tolerance for pain did not extend nearly that far. There was nothing there. Absolutely nothing... She forced herself to pay attention to the meeting, only half-listening to everyone’s reports.
"I’ve noted from your reports that Engineering is falling behind," The Captain said casually at the end of the meeting, eyeing her impersonally. Nothing to suggest...anything.
"Yes - I’m working on that. We should be back on track fairly quickly," B'Elanna answered, her heart tearing at the sound of that voice – that beautiful, sensual voice – sounding so remote.
The Captain nodded. "Mister Kim - what about those sensor modifications you’ve been working on?"
B'Elanna watched her for a moment, then forced herself to look at Harry, absently noting what new havoc he was planning to wreak in Engineering. Kathryn was definitely back to being Captain again. It bothered the hell out of her.
"B’Elanna?" the Captain turned to her.
"I don’t think it will be a major problem. We can complete routine adjustments first, then run a diagnostic, perhaps provide new data." A minimal response, but sufficient.
"Good. Anything further?" She made to rise. "Dismissed."
"Captain, may I have a word with you?"
"Of course, Lieutenant." Janeway strode to her ready-room door, motioning for B'Elanna to precede her. The doors hissed shut behind them. "What’s on your mind, Lieutenant?" Kathryn asked as she sat on her couch, crossing her legs casually.
B'Elanna swallowed and drew a deep breath. "About last night..."
Janeway raised her eyebrows.
B'Elanna faltered. "You..." she searched Janeway’s face. "You do remember last night, don’t you?"
Kathryn smiled, an intimate, knowing, completely sexy smile. "In exquisite detail," she purred, holding out her hand to B'Elanna.
B'Elanna released the breath she had been holding and sat on the couch, taking Kathryn’s hand. "I was wondering," she smiled weakly.
Janeway cocked her head. "Because I was gone this morning?"
B'Elanna nodded. "And you gave no indication of it when you saw me..." she met Kathryn’s eyes sheepishly. "I was beginning to think it was another dream."
"Another?" Kathryn raised an eyebrow.
"They’re not exactly uncommon," B'Elanna stated dryly.
Kathryn gave her another pleased smile. "Yes... for me either," she said, turning to face her, one leg curled beneath her. Her expression became more serious. "B'Elanna... I had thought you understood." She sighed. "I told you we need to keep this private..."
"I know," B'Elanna interrupted quickly.
"And we also have to keep it outside of work," Kathryn continued, searching her eyes.
B'Elanna nodded. "I know," she repeated, looking down at their joined hands. "I just... when I saw you – when I looked into your eyes – there was nothing there. No recognition, no affection..."
"B'Elanna..." Kathryn pulled her close, enfolding her in a loose embrace. B'Elanna sighed and curled up against her as Kathryn rested her chin on B'Elanna’s head. "I need you to understand this," she murmured. "I need you to be comfortable with this." She sighed. "I have more to think about than my own happiness. Or yours," she added, stroking B'Elanna’s hair. "We have to be careful about this – how we look at one another, how we speak to one another... even how often we touch. The last thing we need is speculation among the crew..."
"I can defend your honor," B'Elanna interrupted, turning to face her.
Janeway looked at her for a moment. "I don’t need you to defend my honor," she stated. "I need you to help me make sure it doesn’t need to be defended."
"But I’m your lover!" B'Elanna protested, standing. "It’s my duty to do things like that... to make sure you’re taken care of..."
"It’s your duty," Kathryn stated calmly, "to ensure the smooth operation of this ship – and to uphold the chain of command." She held B'Elanna’s eyes for a moment. "Whatever relationship you and I may have – either now or in the future – we must by necessity keep out of our public lives."
B'Elanna turned from her and walked to stare out the viewport.
"I can’t be your lover when we’re on duty, B'Elanna," Kathryn said to her back. "We can’t let this relationship interfere in any way with normal operations..."
"Is it that easy for you?" B'Elanna asked, still facing away from her.
Kathryn looked at her, confused. "Is what that easy?"
"Wanting me," B'Elanna answered. "Is it that easy for you to stop wanting me?"
Kathryn sat in astonishment for a moment, then hung her head, shaking it slowly at herself. Of course she would think that. Kathryn, her mind remarked acidly. You forget how young she is... she’s looking to you to make al the moves here. Don’t be stupid.
Kathryn stood and walked slowly to where B'Elanna stood. Placing a hand carefully on her shoulder, Kathryn tilted her head to see B'Elanna’s face, watching as her eyes closed.
"I haven’t stopped wanting you," she whispered, shifting to stand behind her and sliding her hand across B'Elanna’s shoulders as her other arm circled B'Elanna’s waist. "All morning, I thought of you. I couldn’t get my mind off you." She whispered directly into B'Elanna’s ear. "I kept... remembering. Replaying the night over and over in my mind... I’ve spent far too much time in my ready-room today," she smiled, leaning her head around to see B'Elanna. "I couldn’t be on the bridge like this – unable to concentrate for more than a few minutes, thinking of you... how much I want you..."
B'Elanna turned in her arms, bringing her own hands to Kathryn’s waist. Kathryn’s eyes told her more than the captain’s words ever could. "I wanted you, too," she whispered, staring into smoldering blue-gray depths. "I wanted to run my hands through your hair... feel your skin under my hands..." Kathryn closed her eyes, a faint smile on her lips. "I wanted you..." B'Elanna tilted her head to kiss the corner of Kathryn’s jaw.
"Yes," Kathryn whispered. She cupped B'Elanna’s face, drawing her away gently. "And you shall have me," she continued, stopping B'Elanna’s kiss with a finger on her lips. She smiled, shaking her head slowly. "Not here. And not now."
"When," B'Elanna whispered, licking Kathryn’s fingertip.
Kathryn’s eyes became heavy-lidded with the caress and she drew a slow, deep breath. "Soon," she murmured, tracing B'Elanna’s lips lightly. "Very soon." She increased the pressure on B'Elanna’s lips to keep her from speaking. "Tonight – my quarters, eighteen-hundred hours." She glanced down B'Elanna’s body, then back to her eyes. "Plan on staying a while," she smiled. Then, without warning, she kissed her – deeply... possessively... a kiss that embodied every thought, memory and fantasy she had had for the past seven hours.
B'Elanna could have fainted right then and there.
1734 hours found B'Elanna standing in the corridor. Specifically, Deck 3, Section 12, right outside cabin Gamma-1. Captain’s quarters. A motion in the corridor caught her eye – she lifted the padd in her hand and pretended to make notes. Anyone watching would think the Captain had summoned her for a dinner meeting. Since Neelix had taken over the Captain’s private dining room, it had become Janeway’s custom to dine with her senior officers in her quarters when the need arose. At this hour, no one would suspect anything out of the ordinary.
Except for the fact that she had been standing here for... she checked the time... eight minutes, without pressing the doorchime.
She shifted nervously from one foot to the other. Another motion caught her eye. Chakotay. She nodded and stepped forward, pressing the chime before she could talk herself out of it again.
‘Great,’ Kathryn grumbled inwardly. Just what I need. I haven’t even had time to change - and with B'Elanna due in twenty minutes... "Come in!"
B'Elanna walked in slowly, the doors hissing shut behind her.
Kathryn raised her eyebrows. "You’re early," she said in pleasure, walking to greet her.
"I hope you don’t mind..." she was cut off by a chaste but lingering kiss.
"Why would I mind?" Kathryn whispered, and kissed her again. B'Elanna’s lips were even softer than she remembered – had been remembering all day. Moving closer, Kathryn drew B'Elanna to her and parted her lips, both of them drawing in breath deeply as their kiss deepened. B'Elanna’s tongue slid past her lips, B'Elanna’s hands moved slowly over her back... Kathryn murmured into her mouth. God, but B'Elanna knew how to kiss... Kathryn touched B'Elanna’s tongue with her own, sliding in slow circles around it as B'Elanna leaned back against the wall. B'Elanna lips were so soft... so very soft... and hungry, devouring her even as B'Elanna’s tongue stroked so very slowly. Kathryn moaned softly and pressed her body into B'Elanna’s strength.
They kissed slowly, deeply, endlessly, unhurriedly... B'Elanna ran her hands through Kathryn’s hair again and again, finally cupping the back of her head as she brought one leg up to wrap around Kathryn’s thigh. Kathryn luxuriated in the sensation... B'Elanna’s hands holding her head gently, B'Elanna’s body pressed to hers, B'Elanna’s sweet lips exploring her own, her tongue teasing and stroking... Pulling her body away, Kathryn unfastened B'Elanna’s uniform jacket, feeling B'Elanna remove her own as well. She ran her hands over B'Elanna’s shoulders, feeling with pleasure their muscular strength through the thin fabric of her sleeveless turtleneck. Her hands continued down over B'Elanna’s arms, the skin warm under her touch; and soft, so soft, like sand-washed silk... Then B'Elanna’s arms slid around her, gathering her close as she kissed downward over her chin to her throat.
Kathryn rolled her head back, murmuring through her sigh as B'Elanna’s mouth created tingling pleasure over every inch of her throat and neck. Her hands gripping B'Elanna’s shoulders, she simply leaned against her, giving in to the pleasure. It had been too long since anyone had kissed her like this... if anyone ever had... B'Elanna nudged her turtleneck down and continued making love to her throat. Kathryn gasped as B'Elanna nipped her, choosing a spot that wouldn’t show under her uniform... she smiled. Then gasped again as B'Elanna’s warm tongue slid over the inflamed spot, soothing it, turning the pain into pleasure. Kathryn moved her hand to the back of B'Elanna’s neck, running her fingernail along the ridge of her spine. B'Elanna murmured against her neck. Kathryn continued the caress upward, through her hair and over the crest of her head, finally trailing the pad of her finger over the exquisitely formed brow ridges, then down her nose.
"I think," she murmured as they parted, "that we..." she kissed her lightly, "...should get a little more comfortable." She inclined her head toward the bed. "Come on," she whispered, taking B'Elanna’s hand and leading her there.
B'Elanna let go her hand and pulled off her own shirt quickly, reaching to remove her regulation black bra.
"No," Kathryn murmured, "don’t..." She sat on the edge of the bed, pulling B'Elanna to stand between her knees and stroking the tops of B'Elanna’s breasts with feather-light touch. "How sexy," she murmured, wrapping her arms about B'Elanna’s waist as she brushed her lips there, just above her bra. "How very, very sexy..." B'Elanna closed her eyes. "And so sweet..." Kathryn trailed her tongue along the edge of the half-shirt, B'Elanna’s hands tangling in her hair. Kathryn kissed between her breasts, just above them, nuzzling her nose in B'Elanna’s cleavage and inhaling her deeply. The scent of her... dear God the scent of her... it was intoxicating. Kathryn inhaled again, stroking with her tongue. B'Elanna smelled like... like a field after a summer storm, like grass and rain, sun and earth... and spicy – the subtlest hint of cinnamon and oranges... and something else, something Kathryn could not quite identify... almost musk, in a way, but sweeter... Kathryn quickly divested her of her bra and buried her face between B'Elanna’s breasts, within warm softness, cupping them in her hands as she kissed deeply over the other woman’s heart.
"Kathryn..." B'Elanna whispered, lowering her body to sit astride her thigh.
As their lips met, Kathryn smoothed her hands over B'Elanna’s breasts in slow circles, marveling at the velvety softness of the skin beneath her hands. B'Elanna kissed her slowly, her lips melting on Kathryn’s as she slid her arms around Kathryn’s neck. Again their tongues met, circling one another, B'Elanna moaning into Kathryn’s mouth as Kathryn stroked her breasts. So warm - B'Elanna was so warm, and responsive, her hips moving on Kathryn’s thigh as they consumed one another with slow urgency. B'Elanna’s hands came to her waist, drawing clothing off her – Kathryn drew back only long enough for her shirt and bra to clear her head, then captured B'Elanna’s mouth again. B'Elanna moved the shirt behind her, pinioning her arms, then slid her hands forward to cup Kathryn’s breasts.
Kathryn moaned into B'Elanna’s mouth, struggling to free herself as B'Elanna kneaded her nipples with her thumbs. As soon as her hands were free, she flung her shirt across the room and clasped B'Elanna’s waist, lifting her up as she stood. "I want you," she breathed, her hands slowly sliding downward into B'Elanna’s waistband.
"Yes," B'Elanna answered, hands resting at Kathryn’s elbows, her eyes closed.
Kathryn knelt and drew her clothing down, helping her out of her boots. She stood, running her hands upward from ankle to waist, and kissed B'Elanna deeply. "God, how I want you..." B'Elanna divested her of her remaining clothing quickly as they kissed, kneeling briefly to remove her boots and socks. Then she stood, and her body was heated softness, heated passion, pressing into Kathryn as they kissed hungrily and slowly. B'Elanna’s hands were on her, stroking her, warming her... And then B'Elanna was shifting, throwing back the covers, moving fluidly into bed as she drew Kathryn down on top of her.
No longer content to kiss B'Elanna’s mouth, Kathryn moved downward to her throat, stroking and nipping lightly as B'Elanna leaned her head back. Kathryn kissed over her throat, licked it, bit softly... as she pressed her lips to B'Elanna’s pulse, she heard the throaty whisper, "Kathryn... yes..." She kissed downward to B'Elanna’s breasts, stroking her lips very lightly just where they began to swell, hearing with deepening pleasure B'Elanna’s sigh.
As she slid down B'Elanna’s body, her hip came to rest between B'Elanna’s thighs, her own thighs astride one of B'Elanna’s. She cupped B'Elanna’s breasts in her hands, feeling the weight of them, their fullness... slowly, she began to kiss around them in warm circles. B'Elanna sighed and purred, her hands caressing Kathryn’s face as she kissed, tempting her... wanting her... B'Elanna’s soft flesh melted under her lips, the rich, coffee-colored skin heightening in color as she neared the dark velvet nipple. Slowly, so very slowly she kissed, sweet circles... and then she took the nipple into her mouth, swirling her tongue around swollen hardness as B'Elanna pulled her close. Kathryn gave herself over to B'Elanna’s pleasure, to the infinitely irresistible taste of her, the soft-hard flesh under her tongue... Moving her head back and forth, she loved B'Elanna, stroked B'Elanna... Only when B'Elanna shifted in her arms, raised her thigh between Kathryn’s, did she realize her hips had been moving of their own volition, building her own pleasure. She tightened her thighs, rubbing in more specific rhythm, her breathing deepening.
"Kathryn," B'Elanna whispered raggedly, "will you... can you... like this?"
"Yes," Kathryn answered rapturously, rolling her face between B'Elanna’s breasts. "Yes..." She took B'Elanna’s nipple into her again, moaning as her pleasure heightened... sharpened... She thrust against B'Elanna with increasing urgency, devouring her breasts, her mouth moving back and forth over them as she kneaded and stroked them with her hands. Soft – so soft – Kathryn was overwhelmed by the softness of B'Elanna, her skin, her breasts... Feeling her climax rise within her, she drew away, resting her forehead between B'Elanna’s breasts.
"Kathryn..." B'Elanna breathed, her hands stroking Kathryn’s hair. "Sweet Kathryn..."
Eyes shut tight, biting her lower lip, Kathryn surged against her, faster... faster... harder... Her hands clasping B'Elanna’s breasts, she pushed herself onward... upward... toward the edge, then past it, somehow managing to choke off her shout as she convulsed against B'Elanna. Again and again, the contractions washed through her, blinding her with pleasure... And then it was over, leaving her panting, gasping – and every bit as ravenous as she had been before.
Kathryn kissed downward over her body, deep open kisses, tasting her, stroking with her tongue... B'Elanna gripped Kathryn’s shoulders, her hips moving slowly beneath her. In sweet anticipation, Kathryn stroked the insides of B'Elanna’s thighs, feeling them open to her as she moved downward... downward... finally lying between them as B'Elanna breathed deeply against her desire.
Propped on her elbows, Kathryn stroked B'Elanna’s outer lips, barely touching, feeling the wetness on them even before she opened B'Elanna. It was new territory – welcome but strange... how, exactly, did one give pleasure this way? Eyes closed, Kathryn brushed her lips through B'Elanna’s dark hair, smiling at the gasps and sighs of pleasure that rewarded her. The scent of her... so lovely... like jasmine, and sesame... cinnamon and musk... not quite sweet, not quite salt... subtle... beautiful... Sliding her hands beneath B'Elanna’s hips, she moved downward to kiss directly over the wet curls, just at the juncture of B'Elanna’s lips. B'Elanna arched, her hands coming to Kathryn’s hair. Kathryn felt the warm essence on her lips, tasted it only just barely - tentatively, shyly, Kathryn bent to her again, her tongue uncurling to lick lightly over that same spot, tasting the richness of B'Elanna.
Murmuring her pleasure, Kathryn slid her arms under B'Elanna’s thighs and rested her hands on her hips. With light strokes of her tongue, she parted B'Elanna’s lips gently as B'Elanna stroked her hair. B'Elanna was swollen, her inner lips puffy, and covered in thick, viscous fluid. Kathryn touched there with her tongue, instantly overwhelmed by the taste of her. Moaning, Kathryn pressed her mouth fully into B'Elanna, relishing the quiet cry that reached her ears. She slid her tongue over B'Elanna’s lips slowly, stroking away the rich, tangy nectar - B'Elanna’s lips were hot, and so very swollen – as if they were filled with hot liquid, the same liquid Kathryn drank from her.
She kissed B'Elanna’s sex as she would kiss her mouth, slowly, stroking with her tongue and exploring with her lips. Swirling her tongue in the warm, fragrant wetness, Kathryn circled her opening, just barely inside, gathering up more of B'Elanna’s essence as B'Elanna writhed. Beautiful... so beautiful... and intricate, delicate... Kathryn moaned again, moving her hands to the tops of B'Elanna’s thighs, pressing her thighs against her face. She stroked, she kissed, she drank B'Elanna in unending greed as B'Elanna moaned and arched, whispering her name. Finally, in sweet hunger, Kathryn moved her tongue upward, circling it slowly around B'Elanna’s hard clit. Kathryn knew a moment of fear – that she would not please her lover, that B'Elanna would not signal what she needed... then B'Elanna’s thighs convulsed around her head, B'Elanna cried out softly... With surging pleasure, Kathryn closed her lips around the swollen hardness and circled it more insistently.
B'Elanna arched under her mouth, B'Elanna moaned and gasped... Kathryn moaned in sympathy. Aware now only of the sound of her own breathing, her heart pounding in her hears, the wet, sensuous sound of her tongue on B'Elanna, Kathryn devoured her slowly. She stroked lightly, circled her, lapped at her with the flat of her tongue... B'Elanna’s hands raked her hair in all directions as B'Elanna hips thrust upward to meet her. She bore down harder, feeling, hearing B'Elanna’s instant response. B'Elanna bucked up to her in what Kathryn thought was her climax... and then she heard the unmistakable intake of breath, felt B'Elanna’s body tense and gather powerfully. Stroking in steady rhythm, Kathryn moaned again... and B'Elanna shouted, her hips thrusting strongly, her hands in Kathryn’s hair, her sweet slick folds pulsing under Kathryn’s tongue. Kathryn did not stop – didn’t want to stop... but finally, B'Elanna’s hands grasped at her hair weakly, pulling her away. Slowly, reluctantly, Kathryn drew her mouth from her, the lovely, complex taste of her, and moved to hold her.
Propped on her elbows, Kathryn looked down at her lover, stroking the hair back from her face. B'Elanna’s arms held her close, B'Elanna panted...
Beautiful, Kathryn thought, leaning to kiss her full lips. You are so very, very beautiful...
B'Elanna’s dark eyes opened to her, and they stared at one another for a long moment, smiling. Then B'Elanna’s hands slid up her back, over her shoulders, to her head – and B'Elanna drew her down, kissing her deeply.
They kissed slowly, endlessly... the most natural act in the universe... Kathryn felt B'Elanna shift, felt her turn them so that Kathryn was on her back, B'Elanna pressed to her side. B'Elanna’s fingertips traced her breasts, created tingling pleasure over her belly... Slowly, gradually, she moved into Kathryn’s damp hair, massaging her still-wet softness.
Kathryn drew her hand away gently. "I don’t..." she murmured, kissing her palm. "You were so beautiful... I don’t need anything else..."
B'Elanna kissed her forehead, disengaging her hand smoothly and trailing her fingertips back down Kathryn’s body. "Let me..." she whispered, her breath warm against Kathryn’s lips. Her lips melted into Kathryn’s again as she combed through her hair, tangling her fingers in it, pulling it gently... "Let me..." And she slid two fingers into Kathryn easily, moving downward to take Kathryn’s nipple into her mouth.
Kathryn rolled her head back onto the pillow, drawing in breath deeply as B'Elanna’s thumb stroked lightly over her clitoris, almost too much... too sensitive... Kathryn struggled for coherence as B'Elanna stroked her within and without, turning her into pure sensation. She’s so good... I should tell her... that I can’t... so good... but... I won’t come... I never come twice... God, her mouth... her hands... so perfect... how can she be so perfect... so wonderfully, incredibly oh mercy that has to be three fingers... Kathryn gave in to pleasure as her mind turned to white noise.
Lifting her head from Kathryn’s breast, B'Elanna watched her – watched the pleasure rolling through her in slow waves, Kathryn’s body arching sinuously, gracefully. Kathryn breathed deeply, her lips curved into a blissful smile as she rolled her head back and forth slowly. Another wave passed through her and Kathryn arched again, rolling her head back and gasping slowly, chin straining toward the ceiling as her mouth fell open slightly. B'Elanna leaned to her, kissing deeply under her chin; Kathryn sighed, ending in a breathy moan. B'Elanna’s thumb stroked, her fingers stroked, dipping deeply into heated depths again and again, caressing intimately within as she kissed over Kathryn’s throat. As her fingertip touched the opening to Kathryn’s womb, Kathryn’s throat vibrated under her lips in a quiet, choked-off cry of pleasure... Lifting her head, she repeated the caress. Kathryn moaned softly from deep in her chest, her hands kneading the bedclothes, gripping and releasing.
B'Elanna shifted to kneel beside her and bent to her thighs, using her free hand to part Kathryn’s lips. B'Elanna kissed her there, drawing her lips over Kathryn’s swollen hardness again and again, sucking softly as her fingers moved into Kathryn as deeply as she could. Her hand still now, B'Elanna pleasured Kathryn with her mouth, moving her fingers minutely within her – deeply within her, tracing tiny circles, caressing with the gentlest of touches. She touched Kathryn’s cervix again, gently, hearing the deep intake of breath – and then she took Kathryn’s clit into her mouth, stroking with her tongue as she gently circled Kathryn’s most intimate, most sensitive place.
"B'Elanna..." Kathryn whispered from deep in her throat, the sound caressing her lover like velvet. Her hips began to undulate more insistently, in specific rhythm... B'Elanna took the rhythm from her, stroking her within as her tongue circled... Kathryn moaned again, her hand coming to rest on the back of B'Elanna’s head in gentle encouragement. B'Elanna lost herself in her own motions, captivated by the unique, subtly changing taste of her, the gasps and sighs of pleasure. Creamy wetness welled around her fingers as she stroked, the motion of her fingers growing slightly broader, still gentle, circling and caressing within Kathryn as her tongue matched the slow, steady rhythm. With deepening pleasure, B'Elanna felt Kathryn begin to tighten around her fingers, felt her body tremble in anticipation. Kathryn drew one knee up, her foot sliding up and down the bed in uncontrollable halting motion as B'Elanna felt the first stirrings of Kathryn’s climax against her fingertips.
"B'Elanna..." Kathryn murmured roughly. "B'Elanna..." She lapsed into silence as her head thrashed from side to side. B'Elanna felt Kathryn’s hips strain upward, her body drawing in on itself slowly, all her breath held within her... And then she bucked once, releasing her breath in a throaty, shuddering moan of perfect, undiluted ecstasy, her hips surging, her velvet walls clasping B'Elanna’s fingers strongly... repeatedly...
Kathryn sank back onto the bed slowly, breasts heaving as she panted deeply through parted lips, her eyes closed. Withdrawing her fingers slowly, B'Elanna rose up on one arm and stared at her, memorizing – her flushed face, her darkened lips, her hair an erotic tumble on the pillow, the pulse beating rapidly at her throat...
"So easy... with you..." Kathryn breathed thickly, eyes still closed. "So very easy..." B'Elanna smiled, unfolding herself to hold Kathryn, pulling the bedclothes up around them.
Still panting, Kathryn lay quiet and still. Emotion swirled through her in waves and eddies, defying conscious thought. Kathryn merely existed, her mind unable to function, her body spent, listening to her emotions. Good... better than ever before... I need this, I want this... I need B'Elanna. I love B'Elanna... Kathryn felt a breaking down deep within her, a giving way. It was over. The tortured nights, the loneliness, the subjugation of her desire... Over. Done. She would not, could not go back. Liberated from her self-imposed internal bondage, Kathryn trembled in blessed release, feeling B'Elanna shift to lie on top of her, as if to warm her.
Emotion overwhelmed her – the pent-up longing and tension of months and years of discipline rose up in her, spilling forth in a torrent of tears. Kathryn did not fight it. It was good... so good to be free... finally free... B'Elanna turned them, shifted so that they lay facing one another, and tightened her embrace. B'Elanna’s cheek rested against her temple, B'Elanna’s strong arms held her, B'Elanna’s legs entwined with her own, enclosing her... She wrapped her arms tightly about B'Elanna’s back, laughing... crying... sobbing her gratitude into her lover’s shoulder.
Later, when Kathryn had quieted, B'Elanna kissed her cheek softly and extinguished the lights. They lay in a warm, comfortable tangle of arms and legs, stroking one another slowly as they whispered in the darkness.
"Are you okay," B'Elanna asked, stroking Kathryn’s cheek as she looked into her eyes with concern.
Kathryn nodded, smiling. "More than okay." She kissed B'Elanna tenderly, and said with complete sincerity, "Thank you."
B'Elanna smiled and pulled her closer, nestling Kathryn’s head in the crook of her shoulder. They both sighed in contentment. B'Elanna trailed her fingertips up and down Kathryn’s spine. "There are so many things I don’t know about you," she whispered. "Your life, where you grew up, your first lover..." She nuzzled Kathryn’s hair.
"Susan."
"Mmm?" B'Elanna looked own at her.
"My first lover. Her name was Susan," Kathryn whispered slowly. She nestled herself against B'Elanna again. "Although I hardly classify her as a lover," she continued. "We were in school together, she was older than me... Sixteen. It was the summer I turned sixteen. And she was eighteen, ready to go off to university."
She shifted onto her back slightly, drawing slow circles on B'Elanna’s arm as she spoke softly. "We were close – as close I allowed myself to get to anyone. I was deadly serious in those days," she added, looking up at B'Elanna, who smiled. Kathryn looked back to the patterns she was tracing and continued. "We were at her house, her parents were away... We were sitting on the couch. I don’t remember exactly what we were doing, but she just suddenly leaned over and kissed me." She was silent for a moment. "I was amazed. Shocked, confused... It wasn’t my first kiss, but I’d never felt that way before. I didn’t quite know what to do – so I kissed her back." Kathryn smiled. "We ended up kissing on the couch all night."
After a silence, B'Elanna raised her eyebrows. "That’s it?"
Kathryn met her eyes. "Well, no..." she kissed B'Elanna’s hand and continued her stroking. "But it was rather... restrained. We never undressed fully in front of one another, we never touched one another below the waist. We touched one another’s breasts, but never kissed them..." She gave a minute shrug. "I was always able to gain a certain amount of satisfaction – rubbing off... But nothing explosive."
"What happened?" B'Elanna asked, trailing her fingers lightly back and forth over Kathryn’s collarbone.
"She went off to school, and cut off all contact. I tried to see her, call her, visit her... but she simply didn’t want to see me. I eventually got over her." She moved her hand to stroke B'Elanna’s shoulder. "And there have been others since then, all male – and not many..."
"I was your first," B'Elanna said in quiet wonder.
"Yes," Kathryn answered, and kissed her tenderly. "Does that bother you?"
"No." She ran her fingertip around the edge of Kathryn’s bandage. "But I might have been a little more careful."
Kathryn took her hand and kissed it. "You were wonderful. And beautiful." She brought her hand to B'Elanna’s cheek. "And I wouldn’t change a thing." B'Elanna smiled then, and Kathryn continued, "I grew up in Indiana, in an agricultural park, and my life to date has been perfectly dull."
B'Elanna’s smile deepened. "I seriously doubt that," she murmured. "I’m looking forward to learning all about you." She lowered her head and brought her lips to Kathryn's again, kissing her softly, and then deeply as Kathryn wound her arms about her neck.
When they parted, Kathryn sighed contentedly and kissed B'Elanna lightly. "You are so lovely," she smiled.
"Not like you."
Kathryn raised an eyebrow. "I’ve never considered myself to be a great beauty," she remarked.
"I do," B'Elanna answered. She tilted her head. "Would you prefer to be less beautiful than you are?"
"Not at the moment," Kathryn smiled, drawing her down for another slow kiss. "Mmm," she murmured, drawing away slowly to whisper into her mouth. "You have the sweetest lips..." she kissed B'Elanna again. "Such soft, full lips..." She parted her lips under B'Elanna’s, a hand at her cheek as they kissed deeply, again and again, each kiss blending seamlessly into the next.
"I could do this all night," B'Elanna mumbled between kisses some time later.
"Mmm, and I wouldn’t be complaining," Kathryn answered, her voice throaty with desire, pressing her body to B'Elanna and rolling her head back as that beautiful, sensuous, talented mouth continued on to her throat. Her legs still entwined with B'Elanna’s, her hips began their gentle, unconscious rocking back and forth, pressing her wetness to B'Elanna’s thigh... And they began again, both of them vowing silently never to stop until the other was completely, utterly satisfied.
And knowing that they never would be.
Copyright Liz Griffin. All rights reserved.
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