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Emergent Properties

by Liz Griffin

liz.griffin.fanfic@gmail.com

"Sickbay to Captain Janeway."

With a small sound of protest, not quite awake, Kathryn Janeway turned her face upward toward the ceiling in automatic response. "Janeway here," she rasped before slitting her eyes open and running a hand over her face. Her back protested mightily as she sat up on her ready-room couch, the full-screen padd still glowing on the table in front of her.

"Captain, Lieutenant Torres has been brought to Sickbay. She requires medical attention - but she insists on seeing you immediately."

Waking slowly, Janeway sat up. "What's her condition?" One hand came automatically to her lower back and she stifled a groan.

"Right now," came the sardonic response, "agitated."

The Doctor's estimation was punctuated by a voice yelling clearly, "I don't want a god-damn hypo, get the Captain!"

"I'm on my way," Janeway snapped briskly, digging the sleep sand out of her eyes as she headed foggily for the ready-room door. "Doctor, what happened?"

"Lieutenant Torres collapsed - in Engineering this time. It's lucky for her someone was there." She could almost hear B'Elanna fuming at that one. Her Chief Engineer was not known for her patience. Or for weakness.

Janeway stepped around the tactical console and into the lift. "Sickbay," she ordered, not even bothering to about-face first.

"She's suffering the same type of brain damage she incurred from her experience with the Enaran engineer Jora Morel," the Doctor continued as the lift sped downward. "It seems there are lingering memory engrams that are re-establishing themselves in her brain."

"But that should have stopped with the cessation of Morel's influence," Janeway puzzled, pulling the loosened clasp from her hair and tucking her gray shirt into her trousers.

"Should have," the Doctor almost agreed. "But didn't, apparently." Another shout from B'Elanna, this time less coherent and further away. "She demands that she see you before she'll approve any treatment."

"Understood." Not having the time to replace the hair clip, she rubbed her hands hastily over her face, hoping to make herself look more alert, barely finishing before the lift doors opened and she strode briskly past the two crewhands waiting in the corridor.

"I would ask that you arrive with a certain... expediency." The Doctor's tone became more waspish, and Janeway could almost see him glance back over his shoulder. "Or I'm going to have to sedate her altogether.

"Don't you dare sedate me, you electronic excuse for a... "

She rounded the entryway and slowed, stopping at the edge of the biobed where B'Elanna Torres lay supine.

"That was quick," the Doctor noted over the half-Klingon's body.

"The wind was with me," Janeway returned dryly, favoring him with barely a glance and running a hand through her hair as she leaned over the still form of her Chief Engineer. She glanced at the Doctor again. "Did you sedate her?"

"No." He sounded almost regretful. "She just now lost consciousness."

Janeway looked down into the deceptively still features, her eyes narrowing in curiosity and concern. B'Elanna Torres was a striking young woman, and a brilliant engineer. Her face was lean, sculpted, with high cheekbones and subdued forehead ridges that spoke of her mother's Klingon heritage and the black locks and tawny skin of the Torres contribution to her genetic makeup. As Janeway looked at her, she remembered how this young upstart had challenged her, worked with her... and how eventually the woman she had been sent to arrest had earned enough of her trust to have her run unquestioningly to Sickbay at two in the morning. Janeway castigated herself silently for a moment. If she actually had run, then maybe B'Elanna would have been awake... and she would have known Janeway cared enough to get there as fast as possible. She sighed. Years ago, when they had first come to the Delta Quadrant, thrown there by at that time unknown forces, she had made a vow to herself to get to know her crew better. To learn about them, to make them feel as though they could depend on her to care for them and watch over them. As if she knew them personally. How far had she really come in that, she wondered.

Not far, her mind answered her. You're still The Captain, Kathryn - they still look up to you and maintain their distance from you, and treat you just like the Command Officer's Manual said they should. With respect, and distance, and trust. They wait for you to initiate any closeness, any personal interaction. And how often do you do that, really? When was the last time you were in Tom Paris' bar? Or played Parrises Squares? Or even tennis? You're letting them down, Kathryn. Again.

"I wonder what was so important," she whispered, pushing the ever-present thought from her mind. "Why she needed to see me..."

"Captain." B'Elanna did not open her eyes, but her hand grasped at Janeway's wrist firmly.

"I'm here, B'Elanna," she said quietly, taking the hand and squeezing it comfortingly.

"The shields," Torres whispered, her brow lowered in concentration, at the effort it seemed to be to speak. "Harmonics... Enaran... Sikarian... the shields... amplify..."

"Sikarian..." Janeway was astonished. A minor race with space-folding technology, who had tried to seduce them into staying in the Delta Quadrant... "What do they have to do with..."

The grip on her hand tightened. "Harmonics," Torres repeated, as if trying to convey some great truth. "Harmonics... amplify... Sikarian... Enaran... shields..." And then she was still again, her features relaxing as Janeway reached to her face and, with maternal tenderness, lay back a lock of hair that had fallen over her forehead. Janeway stood there, still clasping her hand, staring into the unreadable visage for a long moment.

"Captain," the Doctor broke her reverie gently.

Nodding, she let go B'Elanna's hand, laying it carefully on the bed as she withdrew. "Keep me informed, Doctor," she ordered, more out of habit than anything, backing away slowly.

"Of course," came the distracted response, accompanied by the low hum of the implement he was moving slowly over Torres' forehead. Janeway turned to leave.

"Odd," the Doctor murmured.

Janeway spun around. "What?"

"The memory engrams - they're... resisting." He frowned. "Almost as if her brain were fighting to hang onto them, as if they were protected memories - learned reflexes..."

Janeway's brow knit. "Are you saying that B'Elanna... has become Jora Morel?"

"Nothing so grandiose," he answered dryly. "But it seems this set of memories is particularly - "

"NO!" B'Elanna Torres sat bolt upright on the biobed.

"Lieutenant Torres - please," the Doctor admonished, pressing on her shoulder to indicate that she should lie down.

"I need to see the Captain!"

"I'm right here, B'Elanna," Janeway offered, stepping closer to the bed. "Please - let the Doctor do his work. Then we'll talk."

No," she said, only slightly calmer, her eyes beseeching. "Please. Don't let him stop it."

"Stop what?"

"The memories. I have to find out..."

"B'Elanna - I know it seems very important," Janeway stated, a little more forceful as B'Elanna attempted to leave the bed, the Doctor physically restraining her. "But we have to stop the damage..." Reflexively, she grabbed the half-Klingon's shoulders, even though she knew the Doctor was more than capable of restraining the younger, now weakened woman, "...being done... to... your... brain..." she bit the words off as B'Elanna fought back.

"No!"

"B'Elanna..."

"Captain, you can't!"

Janeway nodded at the hologram, who was already reaching for a hypospray. "Doctor," she indicated.

"You can't stop it," Torres insisted, no longer struggling, but clasping Janeway's shoulders in an iron grip as she spoke with passionate intensity. "I have to find out how it ends..."

"Why?" Janeway demanded once again, remembering the consequences of the last time B'Elanna had said that. Her Engineer had ignored the Doctor's advice, ending up nearly in a coma, then doing her best to spark a major diplomatic incident on the Enaran homeworld. "I fail to see how this could be more important than your brain, B'Elanna."

"Because this could get us home!"

Still looking into the dark eyes, Janeway abruptly stopped the hypospray with an outstretched hand and stared at B'Elanna Torres silently.

"I know it sounds strange," Torres said quietly. "But I think Jora Morel left us more than a bloody history." She blinked rapidly, shook her head, and took a deep breath. "The Enarans had several ideas for increasing the efficiency of engineering. One that we didn't have the time or resources to explore was the idea of advanced shield harmonics.

"Shield harmonics?" Janeway narrowed her eyes. "What does that have to do with getting us home?"

"By altering the shield harmonics during non-threatening situations, we could - in theory - create a static bubble around the ship, within the warp bubble. In warp space, this would deflect back some of the radiant energy to the ship. Larger particles. Light, most of the smaller particles would get through..."

"I'm with you," Janeway nodded.

"But," Torres continued, her voice starting to waver again, "if we alter the Deflector to emit a combined low-level nadion-tachyon beam..."

"Then - in theory - we would create an energy shield... sending all radiant energy particles back to the ship, " Janeway mused, her mind suddenly reeling with the possibilities. "Light, mesons, baryons..."

"Neutrinos..." Torres added significantly, tilting her head to search out the captain's eyes.

Janeway was silent for a moment, her mind fully absorbed. "Erect that same bubble inside the warp core," she murmured slowly, "and deflect the particles back to the outside shield..."

"And you've got an amplifier," Torres confirmed, her voice weakening as a bit more blood drained from her face.

"Sikarian space-folding technology was based on a neutrino bubble erected in a deflector-based matrix." Janeway had the idea now.

"And if we could get it there..." Torres trailed off.

Janeway nodded, taking the younger woman's shoulders and helping her to lie down. "All right, B'Elanna," she soothed. "I have it. Lie down and let the Doctor treat you."

"The specs are on my workstation in Engineering. Make it work, Captain," Torres ordered somewhat weakly.

Janeway smiled at her fondly. "I'll go start on the research, set up simulation parameters," she murmured, still leaning over her on the bed. "But we'll make it work, Lieutenant."

A faint smile ghosted the full lips. "Order?"

"Guarantee." Janeway drew away as the Doctor began his scans again. She turned to address the Doctor. "How long will she be here?"

"I'd like to keep her the rest of the night for observation," he answered. "If these memories are to be purged, it will take even longer than..."

"No." B'Elanna grasped at his wrist. "You can't purge the memories." She turned to Janeway. "Captain - I can't remember specifics. It isn't like last time, where I saw clear images. But I do have an... intuition - a recognition of when I'm on the right track. We can't lose that."

"Then I'd say you have about two days of functionality before you're in here getting your neural pathways linked together again," the Doctor noted testily. "Assuming there are any left."

"Captain." Torres' eyes were dark with longing. "Please. This is my one shot."

Janeway hesitated.

Well, Kathryn? The voice made itself heard from the back of her mind. How much is it worth to you? Getting home... One hundred and fifty people... all depending on you... against the life of wanted criminal and anti-Federation terrorist B'Elanna Torres...

"No." The answer was clear before she even finished the thought.

"Captain," Torres protested, looking at her with huge brown eyes, her head rolled to one side while the Doctor affixed a small device to her forehead. "I can do this."

Janeway stared at her for several seconds, her eyes distant as she tried to fathom the absolute ardor in those eyes. To get home... to see Mother, and Phoebe... and Mark... "Two days," she finally said firmly, swinging quickly into action. "After that, we're on our own. Doctor, I want monitoring in place before she's released so much as one millimeter out of this Sickbay."

"Understood."

"B'Elanna, you're going to rest. That's an order," she commanded as Torres made to protest. "We have a limited amount of time here. Once you're released, you and I will be working on this together, and there won't be any time for sleep if it has to get done in forty-eight hours. Understood?"

"Understood," Torres answered gravely. She propped herself on an elbow as the captain strode toward the door. "What about you, Captain?"

Janeway turned. "I'm going to the holodeck, transferring your data to the hologrid, setting up a simulation, and going back to sleep. After that, I'll have to speak with Chakotay and Tuvok about covering my duty rotations for the next couple of days at least. Not a word of this goes past these bulkheads, Lieutenant." She turned to the Doctor. "And that goes double for you."

The hologram projected a look of wide-eyed innocence laced with just the proper touch of indignation.

"B'Elanna, if you can't rest try to remember anything you can and get it down on a padd. Even insignificant things. It could spare us work time," Janeway continued, studiously ignoring his stare. "But I'd prefer that you rest. That comes first. I'll meet you on Holodeck One at," she turned to the Doctor, "zero-eight-hundred?" He nodded.

"Oh-eight-hundred it is," Torres nodded. "And Captain?"

Janeway paused at the door, eyebrows raised as her hand rested on the frame.

"Thanks."

Janeway nodded, smiling, and headed for Engineering.

At precisely 0800 hours, B'Elanna Torres reported to Holodeck One to find a simulation of Main Engineering already running. Looking around, the place seemed to be deserted.

"Captain?" she called as she rubbed her neck just below the brainwave monitor the Doctor had installed just below her right ear.

"Up here!" The voice came from the upper pylon.

B'Elanna craned her neck backward, then sprinted for the lift. "For the love of... Captain!"

"What!" The body did not change position, nor did her head remove itself from between the secondary magnetic constrictors and the resonance chamber.

"Get your head out of my engine!" B'Elanna roared, leaping out of the lift a foot before it reached the upper deck and propelling herself toward the uniform that was quickly backing out. She stood over Janeway sternly. "Have you any idea what you were doing? If you ever did that in my Engine Room..."

"Well, Lieutenant," Janeway interrupted cheerfully as she stood, though her smile didn't quite reach her eyes, "this is my Engine Room, and yes I know exactly what I was doing." She handed B'Elanna a padd. "I was re-aligning the secondary constrictors to counter what I anticipate to be a massive anti-neutrino build-up." She raised an eyebrow. "Or would you prefer to lose containment, like the last time?"

"No," B'Elanna said, feeling the heat rise to her face as she perused the padd. "This is fine... I mean, I'm sorry - it was reflex, it won't happen again..." She started as a hand came down on her shoulder.

B'Elanna," Janeway said sharply, cutting her off. Then her eyes softened and she smiled gently. "Relax." Her hand patted B'Elanna's shoulder. "I'm sure you and I will work together just fine. And I promise to stay out of your way as much as possible. This is your show, Lieutenant," she bent down to scoop a sonic driver off the deck. "I'm just along for the ride."

"I wouldn't say..."

"Come down to the lower workstation," Janeway continued, already on the way to the lift. "I'll show you what I've come up with so far and you can tell me just how far off base I am."

After a moment's hesitation, B'Elanna blew out the breath she had taken and followed.

After reading the captain's programming for about two minutes, Torres looked up. "I don't think I could have done this better myself," she complimented.

"Well," Janeway smirked wryly. "I am a Starfleet-licensed Senior Warp Engineer."

B'Elanna turned a sullen gaze back to the console. And I'm not, she thought dismally. That's why you're here, isn't it? To make sure I don't screw up?

"But anyone with an engineering rating of four or better could have done this," Janeway waved a hand dismissively, strolling toward the replicator near the entrance to Engineering's Main Floor. "Your initial work was absolutely brilliant. These replicators are functional, by the way - as well as the heads, so we don't really have to leave." She turned to B'Elanna. "Can I offer you anything?"

"No. Thanks," she remembered to add, her mind reeling a bit from such a great compliment from Janeway, offered so casually. Still looking over the programming, making tiny changes as she did, she ventured, "So - what did Tuvok and Chakotay have to say about all this?"

Janeway shrugged minutely as she sipped her coffee, strolling back to where B'Elanna stood. "I didn't really tell them what this is all about. But I did tell them it was important, and that they shouldn't attempt to contact either of us for the next two days. If it's anything short of a ship-wide emergency, they'll just have to handle it without me."

Torres raised her eyebrows. "That must have gotten their attention." She glanced up from the read-outs. "You never take time off. Or even engage privacy locks. I can bet they and everyone else are going to be wondering what business you have locking yourself up and commandeering a holodeck for days at a time."

"True." Janeway leaned one hip against the console. "But if this can get us home, I have no business doing anything else." She looked over the rim of her cup to where B'Elanna was frowning silently at the data stream. The young woman seemed to have found a particularly interesting area in the speculative data Janeway had entered on the actual theoretical functionality of space-folding and subsequent distance calculations. Not wanting to interrupt her train of thought, she merely observed. Torres stopped the stream, moved back, reviewed it again, moved back, reviewed it a third time - and then she began rapidly inputting data.

Kathryn tilted her head, then moved to look over the engineer's shoulder. Formulae streamed across the screen, then came together in data blocks... Torres continued to enter data, altering constants to match her own speculative entries, completely oblivious to the captain's presence mere centimeters from her back, watching her with acute interest. Janeway watched as one formula led to another, more complex one, as theories begot more theories, each organized meticulously and added to the rapidly growing data stream. Silently, she set down her mug at the other end of the console and activated a mathematical theoretical interface, tying it in with Torres'. She accessed the younger woman's work, rapidly scanning the information and feeding more data to her, creating a loop that would allow them to interact. And they began, silently, each augmenting the other with absolute precision, speaking volumes not with words, but with a constant stream of mathematical symbols and complex formulae. Which, Janeway thought with a wry smile somewhere along the line, was indeed their primary and preferred method of communication.

Hours later, they both sat staring at the same equation, displayed on two different screens, at either end of the holographic console.

"Are you seeing what I'm seeing?" Torres asked, her voice quietly incredulous.

Janeway stared for a moment. "I do believe I am," she finally answered, her own voice reflecting more emotion than usual. She glanced at her Engineer, then accessed the database and pulled up another algorithm, this one from Starfleet Intelligence and requiring her highest security clearance, displaying it below the formula they had created.

B'Elanna let out a low whistle. "I'll be damned," she breathed slowly. "Is this..."

"Borg transwarp," Janeway confirmed. She looked at the half-Klingon with a thin smile. "At least, Starfleet thinks so. The Borg use tachyons to open a spatial rift - and it took Starfleet years to come up with this formula using the tachyon-neutrino data gathered by the Enterprise and others who came in contact with it." She looked at B'Elanna again, this time with undisguised pride. The young woman's form was rough, requiring her input from time to time to keep her on track - but her leaps in logic were nothing short of astounding. Kathryn idly wondered how much of it was really B'Elanna Torres and how much was the memories of an alien scientist.

B'Elanna continued to stare at the numbers and symbols on the screen. "I was thinking one jump... maybe even a few, several light-years at a time..." She shook her head slowly. "This opens up all kinds of possibilities."

"Indeed it does," Janeway murmured, her voice suddenly far away as her head turned toward the warp core. "A modified deflector array, a partial re-fit of the warp core, extensive testing..."

"Not to mention a lot of panicking ships in the Alpha Quadrant when we get back," Torres stated dryly. "I wonder how many of them would shoot at us as we came out of transwarp," she wondered idly, her hand coming up to worry at the brainwave monitor again.

"We'll deal with that when the time comes," Janeway said briskly. "And just between you and me, I'd rather face the devil I know." Her eyes took on a sparkle B'Elanna had never seen before, making her look much younger and not a little adventurous. "I wonder how soon we could outfit a shuttle to do this?"

"I don't know..." B'Elanna said in a warning tone, shaking her head. "We'll need a significant output from the warp core to start with."

"And warp is exponential, not linear," Janeway said in resignation. She bowed her head, then looked up at Torres through her eyelashes. "So it's Voyager or nothing, is that it?"

"That's about the size of it," Torres confirmed. "Pardon the expression."

Janeway sighed. Then stood, linking her hands and stretching her arms upward for long seconds as she grimaced. "Ohhhh," she breathed when she released, her hands landing heavily on the console as she leaned forward. "Hungry?"

Torres looked up suddenly. "Uhhh... yeah, I guess I am, a little," she managed, caught off guard. Of course she would have to eat with the Captain, she thought as Janeway walked to the wall unit. She knew that, they were going to be here for days maybe - so why did it seem so... strange?

Because she's Human, stupid. Her mind prodded her to look to where Janeway was perusing the replicator menu. You never thought of her as Human before, did you? She's The Captain. Janeway. Up on that command-shaped pedestal, and too far for you to even see clearly.

B'Elanna was certainly seeing clearly now. And realizing - though not for the first time - that her Captain was a beautiful woman. B'Elanna contemplated the slim shoulders under the red and black jacket, the small breasts, narrow waist and hips... The uniform was not made for Kathryn Janeway - Kathryn Janeway was made for the uniform. She watched as fine ivory hands danced over the touch-plates of the control panel, the blue-gray eyes showing such concentration, such precise focus, even when deciding something so innocuous as what to have for dinner. But that's the kind of woman Janeway was, she thought. Intense, focused, and totally concentrated on what she was doing - whether that was fighting a pitched battle or saying hello. B'Elanna took special note of the captain's red hair, now caught back in its usual clasp, but no less complimentary than when it had been free about her face during their recent social encounters with the Enarans - and in Sickbay earlier this morning. She sighed. Kathryn Janeway was just one of those people. She had an aura about her, a certain air of unassuming confidence that always surrounded her, lending her an elegance and beauty that seemed to follow her no matter what the circumstance.

And a passion that made B'Elanna - and she knew for a fact she wasn't the only one - wonder during her lonely nights exactly how focused and beautiful the captain would be under much different - much more intimate - circumstances.

Don't even think about it, girl, her little voice warned. Not only is she out of your league, she doesn't even play the game.

"How do you feel about chicken?" Janeway called over her shoulder.

"Fine," B'Elanna answered automatically. "Who's paying for this, anyway?"

Janeway flashed an entirely attractive smile. "Captain's privilege. We'll put it under 'necessary expenditure for research'." She turned from the replicator, bearing a sizable platter of roast fowl and all the trimmings, then looked around with a smirk of disappointment. "Engineering isn't really equipped for fine dining, is it?"

"Not really, no," B'Elanna smiled in spite of herself.

"Well then," Janeway said briskly, crossing her ankles and lowering herself - and dinner - to the floor, "consider it a picnic."

B'Elanna watched her set dishes on the floor in easy grace, then pushed away from her console and joined her.

"You know," Janeway observed as she trimmed a slice of chicken neatly from the bone, "I could get used to this."

"Eating off the floor?" Torres looked at her with barely disguised humor.

"No," Janeway snapped her napkin at her, the tip of it barely touching B'Elanna's arm. "I mean, the research end of things. Pure science. Doing it just because it's there to be done, and worrying only about finding the answers." She sighed, staring at the warp core, her eyes distant. "I do miss the sciences sometimes."

"So why did you go into command?" B'Elanna asked, then added as Janeway turned and fixed her with a raised eyebrow, "I mean - not that it's any of my business..."

"No - it's alright.," the captain smiled. "I went into command because my mentor - and at that time hero - told me he thought I should." Her eyes focused on a point somewhere above B'Elanna's head, as if she were thinking this through carefully. "And because... well, exploration was always why I chose to go into Starfleet. It never really occurred to me to actually take Admiral Paris up on it until... my father died," her voice became very gentle.

"I'm sorry," B'Elanna said automatically.

Janeway nodded graciously. "I think... It was a terrible time for me," she continued, "and for the rest of my family - I absolutely worshipped my father - but I think it was then that I really let go of many of my pre-conceived notions and started looking at the possible rather than the familiar." She tilted her head in that matter-of-fact way, and said more firmly, "And so I went to Command School, volunteered for deep-space, and the rest, as they say, is history."

"Admiral Paris," B'Elanna mused. "Tom's father?"

Janeway nodded. "One and the same. I was with him on my first deep-space mission, a year out of school - and then again as Science Officer on the Al-Bataani. He was there during my first review as a Captain." She smiled fondly. "He's a good man. Hard to get along with. Stubborn. But good." She tossed her napkin to the floor and sat with her knees drawn up, staring into the blue column of the warp core.

"You gave up science early on, didn't you?" B'Elanna asked softly.

Janeway glanced at her. "Oh, no," she chuckled. "But it was a bit of a transition. I didn't actually get on board ship until after my Doctoral studies were done - so I was automatically a bridge officer. And after my first mission, I volunteered for the Al-Bataani, because Admiral Paris was on it. He talked me into Command School. But I was a Science Officer all the way up until I became First Officer on the Providence - and then just two years later, they offered me a Brevet posting on the Billings. Talk about small ships..." She shook her head in fond recollection. "We had a crew of twenty-five - and it seemed like quarters for fifteen. And God, I was so nervous," she chuckled. "Two years as an ex-oh, Lieutenant Commander - then a promotion to Commander and my own ship..." She tuned to B'Elanna, eyes sparkling. "Heady stuff," she said with mock seriousness.

"So you were a Brevet Captain before?"

Janeway took a sip of her synthetic wine and nodded. "It's not unusual on science missions like that one. Sometimes, a Captain can start out as a Brevet, then get promoted, but stay on the same ship for an entire career. Especially the more esoteric specialists, for whom a change in ship could mean months of recalibrations." She gave B'Elanna a significant look. "Not that I ever had any intention of staying on a small ship like that. I took a degree in general Quantum Cosmology to avoid it, in fact."

"Did you stay on that ship after your promotion?"

"Mm," Janeway answered, shaking her head as she swallowed more wine. "No - I was promoted to full Captain, reviewed - that's when I met Tuvok, by the way - and given a larger ship. Which, of course, was still in spacedock. So I suppose you could say I stayed - but it was only six more months there, then to the Bonestell for three years... and then Voyager." She sighed, staring into her empty glass. "It seems like another lifetime," she said softly.

Torres watched her in awe. She had never heard Kathryn Janeway talk about herself at all - and certainly not to this degree of confidentiality. True, it was nothing she couldn't have learned by pulling up her public service record, but still... B'Elanna remained silent as an unfamiliar feeling rose in her gut - a feeling of happiness, and accomplishment, and the slightest hint of anxiety...

"What about you," Janeway was saying. "Did you ever want to do something else?"

B'Elanna was silent for a time. "I've always been an engineer. Ever since I can remember," she said quietly, looking into those compassionate blue-gray eyes. "I was always taking things apart, trying to figure out how they work - 'fixing' them," she added a significant look as Janeway chuckled. "My mother always said it was the one thing about me that was consistent - she never knew what to expect from me in any other situation, but she always knew I would be trying to fix anything that didn't work." She shrugged. "So I suppose you could say I really never wanted to be anything else."

"Some people are born to do what they do," Janeway observed.

"But some people - like you - are good at everything," Torres noted longingly.

Janeway laughed, a completely attractive sound, her head leaning back and one lock of hair falling over her forehead.

"I'm serious," B'Elanna insisted, ticking off on her fingers. "Particle physics, exobiology, quantum cosmology, temporal mechanics, playing pool, commanding starships... is there anything you don't do well?"

"Cook," the captain answered immediately, grinning, eyes sparkling. "I absolutely despise it."

"But I'd bet you'd be good at it if you did it," Torres contended.

"I wouldn't bet," she said wryly. "I can't even program a replicator properly. I'm more than content to settle for what Starfleet provides."

"Or Neelix," B'Elanna reminded her, grinning.

"Let's not even start that conversation," she smirked. There was a comfortable silence as they both smiled, and then her face became more serious. "So - what's our next step, Lieutenant?"

B'Elanna snapped her eyes back to look at Janeway, face growing warm as she realized her answer had been one based on the completely inappropriate thoughts that had arisen in her mind. Herself and Kathryn Janeway, on the deck, wrapped in one another's arms and legs and kissing so very deeply, with unwavering passion and absolute focus... like Kathryn Janeway did everything... She quickly shoved the image to the recesses of her brain and answered with what she hoped was assurance, "I think we can start simulations based on the nadion-tachyon transwarp formula. You did most of the groundwork already - all we really have to do is start the warp drive simulation and figure out how to stabilize the intra-core bubble." She got to her feet and offered the captain a hand up. Janeway grasped her wrist - and came flying off the deck as B'Elanna pulled a little too hard, sending Janeway stumbling into her arms. Which were most happy to receive her.

"Well," Janeway smirked, leaning against B'Elanna, who had stumbled back into a bulkhead. "If you wanted to get closer, Lieutenant, all you had to do was ask." She smiled mischievously and pulled away to clear away the dinner remains.

If you only knew, B'Elanna thought - and decided that such a line of consideration was definitely risky at best.

And at worst, could get you thrown in the brig for sexually harassing the captain, her mind noted snidely. You be careful, B'Elanna. Don't let your Klingon side get the best of you now - not when she's just starting to like you.

B'Elanna looked to where Janeway was reading a padd intently, downloading data in preparation for the final stages of programming. Was Janeway beginning to like her? Or was she just reading something into the casual conversation? It was probably a moot point anyway - she was nearly one hundred percent certain that Janeway had no interest in anything beyond what familiarity it took to complete this particular project. Janeway was just that type - aloof, self-contained, and completely unapproachable. B'Elanna watched her for a few seconds more, sighed, then joined her at the console and began inputting final parameters.

"Alright!" Janeway called down from the upper pylon. "Power up!"

B'Elanna's fingers danced over the controls as Janeway peered down over the edge of the upper catwalk.

"Nothing," Torres finally called, craning her neck to see the Captain toss her head in disgust.

"I just don't understand it," Janeway said loudly as B'Elanna headed for the lift. "That's three times we've re-aligned the secondary constrictors, and every time we begin the simulation they're out of phase again."

"Maybe by inverting the polarity," Torres suggested on her way up.

"Tried that," came the reply as the Captain squatted down in front of the bulkhead. "Didn't work." Janeway released a most undignified grunt as she yanked away a piece of the housing to expose the hologrid, losing her balance and falling forward onto her knees as it gave way in her hands. "I wonder if it's a holodeck malfunction," she mused as B'Elanna stepped up behind her.

"Most likely not," the Engineer pointed out as she stepped off, noting that Janeway was now clad in only her gray turtleneck and trousers. From the corner of her eye she noticed the red and black uniform jacket hanging over a rail in elegant deconstruction. "Everything else is functioning properly."

"Then why won't the constrictors stay in phase," Janeway asked rhetorically. "I disabled the auto-alignment, re-aligned on a phase variance of point-zero-one-four-seven, locked down the manifolds, routed auxiliary power to the couplings, and practically said a Hail Mary over it." She dropped her spanner onto the transparent aluminum that comprised the upper decks of Engineering and shifted to lean back against the bulkhead, knees drawn up and hands dangling between them. "Maybe I'm going at this all wrong," she said wearily, eyes closed.

B'Elanna considered her silently for a moment, then sat beside her, leaning against the bulkhead, very near but not touching. "Maybe you need a break," she suggested. "You've been at this for twenty hours straight."

"Which means we only have twenty-eight more to make this work," the captain pointed out, dropping her head forward to rub the bridge of her nose with thumb and forefinger. B'Elanna watched her, captivated by the line of her neck, the delicate grace of her hand as it slid around to massage over one perfectly proportioned shoulder. She saw Janeway's breasts strain against the soft fabric of her shirt, and her mind was suddenly filled with images of those breasts freed, soft and small, fitting perfectly into her hands, the sweet pink of her nipples darkening as she lowered her mouth to...

"I think I'll check the readings on the field," she said quickly, standing and removing herself from temptation as quickly as possible. "I think there might be some kind of particle interference with the phase modulation."

"That was my guess," Janeway said dispiritedly, her hand now working at the back of her neck. "I thought maybe the anti-neutrino build-up would be interfering with the tachyon reflection."

"Mm," Torres mumbled, looking over the data. "Or maybe..." she turned to glance over her shoulder. "Maybe it's not tachyons we need to worry about."

Janeway's eyes narrowed as she considered B'Elanna's statement. "What would be reflected off the shields?" she whispered, her mind already going through the list.

"Everything. Tachyons, mesons, baryons, quarks..."

"Photons," Janeway interjected, her eyes brightening. "The basic electromagnetic property of photons is neutral - but they do carry mass..."

"And have a natural attraction to their corresponding neutrino/anti-neutrino counterparts," B'Elanna said in wonder, marveling again at the captain's ability to immediately jump on any problem and find the solution. "Which could cause neutrinos and their associated anti-neutrinos to de-polarize one another - which in turn would cause them to change course slightly and throw off phase modulation..."

"Which would then affect the phase of all matter they came in contact with, including the core," Janeway finished for her, gaining her feet to step toward where B'Elanna stood at the upper console. "So - the question remains," she said, pacing back and forth behind B'Elanna, "how do we counter the depolarization effect of a neutrino/anti-neutrino/photonic catalyst?"

B'Elanna turned to face her. "We force them on course."

Janeway spun around. "Make it impossible for them to deviate, or to react within the core."

Torres lowered her brow. "But how do we bend the laws of nature - change the natural flow of matter..."

"We create a chute," Janeway said in excitement.

"A lane - a stream that will attract the resonant particles and keep them together," Torres agreed. "An electromagnetic force."

"The magnetic constrictors," Janeway said matter-of-factly. "Invert them, and instead of locking down on the core..."

"They emit a sustained electromagnetic pulse, infinitely variable in configuration."

One auburn eyebrow shot up. "And we lose the ability to lock down the core in an emergency." Suddenly, their rapid-fire exchange came to a screeching halt, both of them lapsing into silence for long moments.

Finally, Torres crossed her arms. "You wanna go home or not," she said matter-of-factly.

Janeway regarded her for a moment. "Let's do it," she ordered succinctly.

"Aye, Captain," Torres answered happily, already on her way. Janeway stepped around to the other side of the warp core and began making adjustments to the opposite constrictor coil, handling her instruments with ease. B'Elanna smiled as she watched out of the corner of her eye. Gods above, but she was incredible. Beauty, intelligence, an energy that infused everything around her, that incredible smile she got when she found the answer...

Dammit, B'Elanna - Down, Girl! her mind commanded. She's not interested. At all. Period. Got that?

Oh, I know that, she answered herself. But just because she isn't interested doesn't mean I can't enjoy the view. She looked again to where Janeway was re-modulating the field generator, her hands graceful as she handled the small probe. B'Elanna sighed. She did so love tools in the hands of a competent woman...

Janeway was watching as well - but she managed to keep her smile hidden. What was it about B'Elanna Torres that charmed her so, she wondered. Certainly B'Elanna was more intelligent and more passionate than just about everyone else in her entire life's experience - but that didn't explain why she felt so incredibly drawn to the woman. Even when they had barely known one another, when Chakotay had insisted she "get to know" her, Kathryn had been unmistakably fascinated by her. Something in her eyes, the way she carried herself, the way her mind worked... Kathryn could not remember when she had been so interested in someone professionally.

Oh yes, her inner voice smirked. Completely professional, isn't it? And why is that? Because you won't let it be anything more?

That's right, she answered her unruly mind, consulting her tricorder. Because I can't let it be anything more.

Oh, you can't, the voice countered. What about Chakotay? You almost let that be much more.

Janeway sighed. Chakotay and I were in a completely different situation. Out of the command structure, away from Voyager... and he was literally the last person on Earth. Or New Earth, at least.

Her mind crossed its arms. Just how long do you intend to keep doing this to yourself, Kathryn?

As long as it takes. Janeway picked up an electro-probe and began re-routing polarity stabilization circuits.

Janeway closed her eyes briefly and wondered if she were indeed losing her mind. Please, she thought firmly. Do me a favor and drop it.

An impolite snort was the only response.

Janeway sighed again at the realization that - try though she may to make it otherwise - it was going to be a long night.

Squatting down to better reach her work, B'Elanna heard the low exhalation - a sound that reminded her of many things, none of which had anything to do with warp core modifications. Working by rote, her motions instinctive, B'Elanna allowed herself a momentary indulgence. What would Kathryn Janeway be like, really? It was a question that had haunted her thoughts before - and now consumed her as she worked alongside her captain. Would Kathryn stay controlled and silent, barely expressing her pleasure at all, until she couldn't hold it back any longer - and then let go in a paroxysm of absolute abandon? Or would she be wanton and demanding, showing a hidden sensuality that no one but B'Elanna would ever have guessed, making her needs and desires known from the very start? Or perhaps a combination of the two, a slow, controlled passion that built inexorably toward release, speaking softly, stroking and murmuring, guiding her partner to what pleased her best and insisting she be taught the same...

B'Elanna closed her eyes for a moment. Oh, she could imagine it, all right. In glorious detail. Had been imagining it for months - every possible mood, position, style, or technique - she and Kathryn Janeway had shared it a hundred times, in her mind. She caught her breath as the image seared her mind - Kathryn lying atop her, amid the tumble of their bed, her hair loose about her face in erotic disarray, her body heated softness... Unbidden, the familiar fantasy played itself out. Kathryn so strong, so passionate - and completely focused on B'Elanna, on her pleasure, pinning her gently to the pillows as she kissed her with fire and depth, leaving her breathless. Not a word would be spoken between them, and none would be needed for these two lovers who knew one another so well, who pleased one another so completely. Her hands would come to Kathryn's breasts, sure, knowing caresses, giving exactly what she knew her lover wanted, her lips caressing that exquisite throat, feeling the pulse beat, the soft sound that Kathryn would make in her pleasure. And B'Elanna would touch her, sliding her hand downward and opening the soft folds gently, her Klingon nature vanquished by the sheer force of her passion for this woman, a soft, gentle passion that translated itself through sweet touches and elegant caresses. Perfect - they would be so perfect together, Kathryn moving then arching then thrusting to her, pressing those lovely breasts into her even more fully, slender, gentle hands holding her with loving passion... and then she would speak, her voice low and thick, dripping with desire, speaking the one word she would know, all others obliterated by the touch that consumed her.

"B'Elanna." It would be a velvet caress, an earnest supplication, a fervent prayer, the slim, beautiful body pressed to her and driving against her in silken, sinuous abandon...

"B'Elanna..." the smooth, commanding voice now breathless and impassioned, her body surging recklessly toward release, writhing sweetly in her arms...

"B'Elanna!"

"Whoa!" Torres expelled as she twisted toward the voice and lost her balance, looking up to see Janeway looking at her with concern as her kiester hit the deck and she half-sprawled at the older woman's feet.

Janeway's eyebrows raised. "Are you alright?"

"Fine," B'Elanna waved it off, hurriedly opening a tricorder to check the work her hands had done while her mind had been otherwise occupied. "I was just... thinking."

"Mm," Janeway said, a dubious edge to her voice, and B'Elanna felt herself flush. "So was I," Janeway added. "Thinking we could use a break."

"I'm fine," B'Elanna stated firmly.

"Maybe - but I'm going cross-eyed." Janeway laid a hand on her shoulder. "Come on - let's have a break, have something to drink - then we can finish up here." She gave B'Elanna a hand up as the younger woman grudgingly gave in to superior rank.

"You can have a break - I'm fine, you know," she insisted as they took the lift down.

"I know," Janeway answered, a mischievous twinkle in her eye. "But I was wondering - what was going through your mind that was so important you forgot your engine for an entire ten seconds?" She grinned as she walked through B'Elanna's office door and into a simulation of her own ready-room.

B'Elanna watched her for a long moment, fear and amusement warring for supremacy in her mind. "Believe me," she finally said under her breath, smiling in spite of herself at the thought of Janeway's reaction to that bit of information. "You truly do not want to know."

"I hope you don't mind," Janeway said, a discreet hand gesture indicating the changes in programming as the doors slid shut behind her. "I just had to see the outside or go insane."

B'Elanna smirked. "I guess I've gotten used to the lack of scenery over the years. But I don't mind."

Janeway nodded in acknowledgement. "Coffee?" she offered hopefully.

"You drink too much of that stuff."

"It's my only vice," Janeway smiled, turning to the replicator. "Computer - Coffee, Janeway Three. A pot of it." A silver tea tray obediently materialized, and Janeway carried it to the upper level of the ready room. "Besides," she continued, leaning down to set the tray on the low table in front of the couch, "there aren't many things I'm allowed to take pleasure in any more. Have to catch as catch can." She sank gracefully onto the cushions, leaning forward to pour.

Torres sat gingerly beside her. "How many coffees do you have programmed in there, anyway?" she asked, nodding as Janeway raised the sugar dish along with her eyebrows.

She added a cube of sugar to the brew. "Four. Cream?" Torres raised her hand in refusal. Janeway stirred in automatic motion, then lay the spoon aside. "When I make it to Level One, start digging your foxhole." She handed B'Elanna the steaming cup, then poured for herself.

"I'm not sure I want to know, but... what is Level One?" She sipped and murmured appreciatively.

"An espresso - two-thirds Tarkalian Dark, one-third Jamaica Blue Mountain," Janeway said with a flourish as she set the pot down.

"Kahless and Jesus Christ," B'Elanna muttered. "You wouldn't sleep for a week after a cup of that."

"How do you think I came to be known as the 'Master of the All-Nighter' at the Academy?" Janeway grinned over her own cup.

"I was afraid to ask," Torres grinned back.

Janeway shot her a meaningful look, a playful challenge of sorts. It was a look that dared her to react, a look that positively begged her to disregard the rules of rank and just let them be themselves for a minute. A look that asked her to make something of it.

B'Elanna would know that look anywhere. Even from Kathryn Janeway.

And she had never been one to refuse a dare.

"You know," Torres said meaningfully, "Klingons like it... hot." She lowered her voice to almost a whisper. "And intense. So overwhelming, so incredibly strong you can hardly breathe."

Janeway raised her eyebrows, then half-smiled impishly, taking up the game. "Letting it get cold defeats the purpose," she said softly, lowering her eyes blow delicately across her own cup. Her voice lowered to its deepest register. "I like mine... hot," she murmured, her voice smoky and warm and just dripping with sensuality as she articulated each word. "Hot... and slow. Plenty of time to... savor it."

"And usually in your ready-room," B'Elanna noted, wondering idly if this could be considered flirting. Hell, yes! her mind answered emphatically. If this woman isn't flirting, then neither are you.

Janeway's eyes met hers over the rim of her cup. "That's the best part," she purred slowly, then closed her eyes as she inhaled deeply, her tongue barely visible just as she sipped.

Whoa. What did I miss - when did this go from flirting to a come-on? "Hard to keep it hot for that long," Torres countered, unwilling to let this game drop. If it was still just a game. "Especially in this..." she let her eyes drift downward over Janeway's throat, "delicate porcelain."

"Mm," Janeway murmured, swallowing. "These are only for when I need it fast. Now. When I know it's not going to last long enough for it to cool down."

"I thought you liked it slow."

"I do." Her eyes met B'Elanna's, the even blue-gray deepening as she spoke with intensity. "But there are times when you just... need it - when your whole body is crying out for it and you can't wait another minute, and nothing matters but the scent of it, the feel of it on your tongue, hot and fast and filling you with it..." she trailed off, eyes closed as she held the cup in both hands, the rim just touching the lower edge of her parted lips.

B'Elanna took a deep breath at that, releasing it very carefully. The woman was talking about coffee for the love of... She held her cup and saucer very carefully for a few moments, trying to get her bearings in a conversation that had somehow gone way past where she thought it was going. "You know, Captain," she finally said, "for someone who hasn't had much practice recently, you're awfully good at this."

The sensually parted lips curved into a broad smile and Janeway opened eyes that sparkled with undisguised mischief. "Have to catch as catch can," she repeated, raising one eyebrow rakishly before sipping her coffee again.

Eyes wide, B'Elanna drew another deep breath and blew it out slowly in an expression of disbelief. Hoo boy, her inner voice hooted, hanging over her shoulder. Now there's a naughty bit o' crumpet! Can you imagine what she would be like if she were doing more than talking about it? Can you imagine what she's like when she is talking about it... Can you imagine what it would be like to hear her talk about it while you're doing something about it... B'Elanna mentally backfisted it to the furthest corner of her mind.

"So," she said brightly, picking up her own cup again, "what's on docket for this morning?"

Janeway swallowed. "I was thinking we would test out the constrictor mods first, then tie in the rest of the simulation and see how she runs."

"Sounds like a plan," Torres agreed.

"I still wish there were a way to test this on a smaller scale first, though," Janeway said with more than a hint of regret. "I hate to risk the entire ship on an experimental procedure like this."

"You've risked the ship before to get us home," B'Elanna reminded her. "And I don't think anyone on board would object at all to your doing it again."

"I don't know about that," Janeway said wryly. "I can usually count on at least nine people firmly disagreeing with any decision I make - whether that's a trade agreement, a plan to help us get home, or menu suggestions for the Mess Hall."

B'Elanna laughed. "I remember a time when that might have been me," she admitted, gratified when Janeway smiled. She took a deep breath, against the emotions that were swirling within her at that admission. She had done more than disagree - she had disobeyed, bucked authority, and eventually participated in a mutiny - because she didn't trust Janeway to get them home. She sighed.

"I used to think you liked being out here, that you had some kind of sick purpose in destroying that array," she admitted softly. "I just couldn't believe anyone could stand up for convictions - an idea - like that. Take it to that extent." She bowed her head, staring into her coffee. "And I was convinced that you were out to get me at first - to use me as an example to prove that the Maquis couldn't be trusted with senior positions."

"B'Elanna - no, I..."

"But that's just it," B'Elanna interrupted, "I finally figured out that you weren't. That you were giving me a chance to make something of myself - to be more than I ever thought I could, even when I was at the Academy - even when I was fighting with the Maquis. You were giving me a chance to learn how to stand up for my convictions like that," she said slowly, as if realizing it for the first time. "You were showing me how to start over - we all had to start over - and make the best use of a bad situation. Like I said - I used to think you enjoyed being out here, that you weren't really interested in getting back. But now," she said, tilting her head appraisingly, "I think you really would do anything to get us home."

"And have," Janeway half-smiled, rather ruefully, as she raised her cup to her lips again.

"Really," B'Elanna stared at her, intrigued. "Like what?"

"Captain's privilege," she said, her smile becoming more genuine. "I get to keep some things to myself."

"Oh, come on," Torres cajoled. "Tell me." She thought for a moment as Janeway remained silent. "I know you've violated the Prime Directive - just by destroying the Caretaker's array." She thought a bit more as Janeway nodded. "Ever... lied?"

"Yes."

"Stolen?"

"Yup."

"Put yourself at unnecessary risk?"

"You bet."

B'Elanna grinned in appreciation. "Wow - everything the Officers' Conduct Manual says not to. I'm impressed," she laughed. "Looks like you've done everything but sacrifice your virtue."

Janeway remained silent, her eyebrows raised thoughtfully as she sipped again.

B'Elanna's jaw dropped as the implications of that look sank in. "You mean... you actually... no!"

Janeway nodded slowly, smiling enigmatically.

"You? You actually slept with somebody to get us home?"

"It's not something I'm particularly proud of," Janeway noted wryly. "Nor something I would want made public knowledge," she added significantly.

"Of course not," Torres brushed that thought aside. "But... who?"

Janeway stared into her cup for long moments, looking as if she were trying to divine the reaction to her words, or perhaps gather courage from the dark, heated liquid in her hands. She took a deep breath.

"Gath," she said softly.

"Gath?" B'Elanna couldn't believe it. "That Sikarian jerk-off who refused to help us?"

Janeway nodded. "The first night Harry discovered their space-folding device," she said softly, "I knew then that I would do anything to get him to help us. So, I set about wooing him. Doing everything I could to ply him - food, compliments, telling him stories... up to and including sleeping with him." Janeway sighed. "He, of course, implied that my giving him what he wanted would encourage him to plead our case persuasively with the Central Council. And that if he became angry or God forbid bored with me, I could rely on his withdrawing that support." She gave a short exhalation of bitter laughter. "That trade's been made for millennia," she observed. "Usually, with about as much success as I had with it. But," her head tilted in a pseudo-shrug, "I had to try."

B'Elanna sat silent, stunned by this revelation. She remembered clearly the derision with which most of the Maquis crew had spoken of Janeway's "infatuation" with the Sikarian, most of them convinced she was going to order them to stay on the planet because of her attraction. A mutiny had been planned in that event - B'Elanna herself had been sorely tempted to join it even before the truth came out.

But it was all an act, B'Elanna realized with increasing awe. A carefully constructed ploy to convince everyone - Gath included - that Janeway had an emotional stake in their relationship, and that he should give her what she wanted. Give them what they wanted.

A way home.

Janeway gave a rueful chuckle. "When I realized in our staff meeting that he wasn't going to help us, I wasn't sure what was worse - knowing he'd played me for a fool, or finding out I wasn't good enough to change his mind."

B'Elanna stared at her, allowing her the silence. Gods, it must have been terrible for her - not only did she deal with the disappointment of not getting what she needed, but she also had the knowledge that Gath had played her so skillfully, beating her at the game she had initiated. A thought occurred to her.

"Did you love him," she asked Janeway as gently as she could.

The captain turned to her, surprise written all over her face. "Oh, good heavens, no," she said in half-shock. "Gath - like all Sikarians, I suppose - was a complete hedonist. And I'm... not." She shrugged. "It would never have worked out." She sighed. "That whole incident was a series of moral dilemmas for me. Violation of the Prime Directive, a fiancé back home to whom I was being unfaithful - albeit for a good cause - the crushing disappointment when I realized we weren't getting home... realizing I'd been had - literally... both you and Tuvok being involved in the mutiny over their technology..."

B'Elanna winced inwardly. Somehow, she had hoped that wouldn't come up. Setting her cup down on its saucer, she couldn't quite bring herself to meet Janeway's eyes. "I'm still sorry about that," she said quietly.

Janeway nodded. "I know." After an uncomfortable silence, she continued, "B'Elanna, you know you've been forgiven that, don't you?"

"Somehow you don't strike me as the 'forgive and forget' type," Torres answered sullenly, cursing herself for her own tone. Gods, that wasn't how she wanted that to come out...

"Forgive? Yes," Janeway said calmly. "Forget?" She shook her head slowly. "You know I can't do that, B'Elanna."

"B'Elanna?" Janeway had tilted her head to search out B'Elanna's eyes.

"Look - just forget I said anything, Captain." She refused to meet Janeway's eyes as the familiar anger rose in her, unbidden and unreasonable.

Janeway shook her head. "No. I think we need to have this talk."

"I don't." B'Elanna set her cup down on the table and rose to leave.

"Lieutenant..."

"What - are you going to order me to talk to you?" B'Elanna whirled to face her, then stood with her arms crossed.

Janeway stared at her in silence for a long moment. "No," she finally said gently. "I won't order you. But I think we need to clear the air about this."

"'Clear the air,'" B'Elanna snorted. "Right - what is there to clear, Captain? I screwed up, you kept me in my position, and if I screw up again, even that much," she flicked the nail of her little finger with her thumbnail, continuing in a fair impression of Janeway's barely-controlled anger of that day, "I. Will. No. Longer. Be. An officer. On. This. Crew." Her hands came to her hips. "Wasn't that the stipulation?"

"Verbatim," Janeway said dryly.

"So you're just going to hold his thing over me like some Damoclean sword, to make sure I keep myself in line." Torres stated matter-of-factly. "Which has worked so far, because I really like my job, and I know you'll take me out of it in a heartbeat if I let you down again."

"Is that really what you think?," Janeway asked softly. "That I'm looking for you to make a mistake so I can replace you?"

"No," Torres answered, eyes flashing. "Let's face it - I'm the best thing you've got as far as Engineering goes. Anyone else wouldn't be half as good as me, and it would be a real pain in your ass to make the change." She shifted her stance unconsciously, becoming even more challenging in her posture. "But I do know that my job security is - shall we say - limited."

Janeway turned her head, blinking rapidly, unable to process this wild swing of emotion so quickly and still formulate a reasonable reply to it. "I wasn't aware that's how you felt about this," she said faintly. She stood, then made her way to the lower level of the room, where she could pace slowly.

After some time, she spoke with more certainty. "I told you that I would not tolerate any infractions of regulations. Even minor ones." The turned to face Torres, who still stood near the couch on the raised portion of the room. "Because," she continued, her voice growing more forceful, "I knew you were still my best choice for Chief Engineer, and I did not want to pass you over for that position based on one isolated incident in unusual circumstances." She walked to look into Torres' eyes, her voice lowering to its most quiet - and most dangerous - tone. "On any other ship, in any other circumstances, on any other mission, you'd be court-martialed immediately and possibly sentenced to life in prison - for mutiny." She let that sink in for a moment, then turned to pace again. "I didn't have that option, as I told you then - keep you in the brig for the duration of the journey? No. Number one, a waste of resources and Number two, seventy years solitary confinement is cruel and unusual punishment. I had to find a way to let you know that I would not hesitate to punish you for behavior of that type, but still find a way to keep you in the place where you did the most good - for the ship and for yourself."

"Myself," B'Elanna scoffed.

"Yes." She turned to face Torres again. "Yourself. You said it just a few minutes ago - I wasn't 'out to get you' - I was rooting for you! I wanted desperately for you to succeed, B'Elanna, don't you know that? And - even though I was stunned by the idea that my own people, you included, would do something like that - I understood your reasoning. You gambled and took the chance I couldn't take. And it didn't work out. But if it had, you would have gotten us home, and that would have been worth anything you did to make it happen. You didn't feel my responsibility to uphold the Prime Directive at all cost - which, by the way, hurt like hell - and so you decided the best course of action. That is unacceptable on a starship, and you know it."

Torres crossed her arms. "I see. I make a choice, and it's mutiny. If you'd done it, it would have been a 'command decision'."

"That's right!" Janeway stabbed the air with a finger. "I make those decisions, B'Elanna. Not you. I'm entrusted with that power by the Federation, and by every member of this crew."

"I don't remember signing off on that."

"Chakotay did," Janeway answered softly. "And that included the rest of the Maquis."

B'Elanna blinked.

"So, B'Elanna - in my position, what would you do?"

It was Torres' turn to lower her eyes and try to formulate a reasonable response. Gods, how had she gotten into an argument with Janeway - and why hadn't Janeway ended it? "I..." she managed, then looked at Janeway in defeat. "I probably would have done a lot worse than you."

"Such as?" the captain pressed, crossing her arms.

"The brig, then a demotion, maybe even court-martial and an airlock..."

"All of which, believe me, I considered," Janeway noted, one eyebrow raised.

"Then why didn't you?" B'Elanna demanded, temper flaring. "Why didn't you just court-martial me and get it over with - why keep me hanging, waiting for the day when you decide I've gone too far and send me away... Why didn't you just do it?!" she stopped herself, wide-eyed at her own admission, her breath trembling as her heart pounded.

They stared at one another for a long moment, B'Elanna in shock at her own words, and Janeway in dawning realization. Finally, Janeway came to her slowly, holding her eyes with compassionate intensity as she placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Oh, B'Elanna," she sighed, her voice tinged with profound sadness. She stared into B'Elanna's eyes with utter sincerity. "I have no intention of taking you from Engineering," she said quietly. "I have no intention of ever putting you through a court-martial, unless you - like anyone else on the ship - do something that warrants it." B'Elanna looked away, and Janeway caught her chin between her thumb and forefinger, turning her face upward. "You are an exemplary officer, and have never disappointed me in your post," she stated, as B'Elanna felt tears sting the backs of her eyes. She willed them away as Janeway continued. "I've forgiven that one incident, B'Elanna. Maybe it's time to forgive yourself." Her hand slid up to cup B'Elanna's cheek, and the younger woman marshaled all her self-control not to give in to the outrageous desire that was rising in her, to press her face into the caress, to turn and kiss the elegant fingers. They stood that way for some time, silent, Janeway staring at her, and B'Elanna doing her best to meet that gaze unflinchingly.

"I'm going to start the modifications," Janeway said gently, finally releasing her, but not looking away. "Join me when you're ready." And she was gone, walking out of the ready-room, allowing B'Elanna the space and time she needed to compose herself and assimilate this new information.

And maybe find a way out of the emotional tangle she suddenly found herself in.

Eight hours later, modifications complete, the two women stood at the lower console.

"Ready to give it a spin?" Janeway asked, eyes alight.

"Ready as I'll ever be," Torres answered, keying her board and bringing the drive on-line. She was now following her mind's earlier advice and avoiding looking at the captain. In the past eight hours, she had indulged in more sexual fantasy than she would have liked to admit - even to herself - and it was time to take control. No way was she going to let her Klingon side get the best of her again. Not now. Not in front of this woman. "Constrictors inverted to point-zero-zero-five-two," she reported in the standard Starfleet inflection. "Anti-neutrino concentrations building."

"Compensating," Janeway said briskly from the other end of the console

"Neutrino reaction leveling off," B'Elanna reported, scanning her read-outs carefully. "Photon catalyst minimal... Intra-core bubble..." she drew a breath, then released it in a sigh, "is stable."

Janeway turned to look at the warp core, smiling in unabashed pleasure - and laughed, her face alight with pride and amusement as she clapped a hand down on B'Elanna's shoulder in easy camaraderie. B'Elanna felt her heart leap at that look, the absolute beauty of Kathryn Janeway when she smiled. And she laughed, too, from the release, and the infectiousness of Janeway's laughter - and just from the sheer joy of it. And then those eyes were turned on her, that smile warming her, that hand squeezing lightly on her shoulder. B'Elanna stopped laughing, her eyes coming to focus entirely on that lovely smile, those beautiful soft lips.

B'Elanna would never know why she did it. She couldn't pinpoint any indication, any actual thought of her own that precipitated it. But before she or Janeway knew what was happening, B'Elanna turned to face her fully, parted her lips softly, and kissed her. Gently. Sweetly. Alarm sirens screaming Red Alert in her head even as she moved her lips over Janeway's bottom one and sucked gently, stroking across the smooth softness with her tongue.

She felt Janeway's startled intake of breath, felt her hold that breath, standing very, very still, her lips unmoving. B'Elanna continued to explore, not wanting it to end, nibbling gently. She felt the exhalation warm against her lips, a sighing release, and a warm, gentle tongue that touched her upper lip so very briefly... and then Janeway made a tiny sound of surrender, Janeway's lips were pressed to her own, Janeway's hand slid across her back, the other coming up to hold her close as she parted B'Elanna's lips with soft strokes. B'Elanna opened to her, moaning softly into her, moving her hands to the taller woman's back. Passion rose between them, both of them drawing in breath deeply as it seared them - and within seconds they were kissing deeply, hungrily, mouths open and tongues tangling. B'Elanna pressed into the taut, strong body, eyes closed, trying to absorb every sensation that washed through her. Janeway's mouth was insistent, demanding, soft moans melting into her as her hands held B'Elanna closely to her, pressing them together even more firmly. From her knees upward, B'Elanna was tight up against Janeway's body, both of them devouring one another now, kissing so very deeply, ardently, taking and giving, holding tight and letting go. Their breathing quickened, synchronizing as they sought to consume one another utterly, no thought remaining except this sweet, hungry, breathless, fluttering excitement, sweeping them up, pulling them together, Janeway releasing those sweet sounds from deep in her throat, her tongue sliding over and past her lips softly, exploring, withdrawing, stroking, feasting... until at last those lovely, strong hands slid to her shoulders and they both drew away slowly, Janeway's sweet mouth seeking hers out again, and again, short, hungry kisses, as if she couldn't bear to let it end.

For several euphoric seconds, B'Elanna stood motionless, eyes closed as she savored the sweetness of it, the passion. Gods, it was so good, so incredibly passionate, just like she had thought it would be, and completely new and wonderful at the same time...

"Oh my," Janeway finally breathed, panting quietly.

She opened her eyes to see Janeway, head bowed and breathing deeply, lips still parted, holding B'Elanna's shoulders as if to keep her at a certain distance. Her eyes were still closed, her face unreadable.

Oh no. B'Elanna felt panic begin to rise in her as she realized exactly what she had done. Oh no... oh god... She fumbled about helplessly for words and her breathing quickened. Eyes widening, she sought to explain, to say something - anything - that would keep Janeway from walking away, keep her from being frightened of it... of her...

"I..." she managed, but then realized there was nothing she could say. Nothing at all. She sighed, eyes pleading with Janeway to look at her, tell her it was all right, that she didn't hate her...

"I don't know how that happened," Janeway said softly, her voice barely above a whisper, her face still lowered. She drew a deep, shuddering breath and continued before B'Elanna could speak, "But I think it best that it never... happen... again." She paused for a long moment, breathing deeply against desire. "Do you understand?" she asked softly.

B'Elanna nodded automatically - and then realizing Janeway couldn't see her, managed to utter, "Yes."

Janeway nodded distantly. "Good." Her eyes opened and her face raised - she glanced at B'Elanna, not quite meeting her eyes. "You'll excuse me," she whispered. And then she was gone, calling for an exit, leaving the holodeck and picking up speed in the corridor - fleeing from her...

B'Elanna leaned backward against the console heavily, then sank to the floor, hugging her knees in absolute misery.

She felt light-headed, the room was spinning as she considered what they had done together - what she had done. Janeway no doubt considered her to be completely insane, swinging wildly from one emotion to another, not understanding at all what had happened in the last day and a half.

B'Elanna wasn't sure she understood it herself.

Yes, she had been attracted to Janeway for some time - but until now, she had been able to control it, deal with it - not let it get the best of her or even come completely to the surface. She drew a shuddering sigh.

What happens now, she thought dismally. Do I go and apologize? Beg for mercy? Ask if she won't reconsider? Her thoughts trailed off as she felt the room begin to spin around her again.

The monitor, she realized. I'm under the influence of this thing... She reached up and tore it off her neck, ignoring the shrill whine of warning. Immediately, the room stopped spinning, but things were distorted - changed somehow... the warp core looked very far away, while the office door on the other side of it seemed somehow closer... B'Elanna gasped with the sudden need for oxygen as her vision began to cloud.

Unconsciousness. She welcomed it. Even death, at this point, if it meant she wouldn't have to face Kathryn Janeway again - either her anger or her rejection.

The monitor in her hand felt unnaturally heavy, pinning her hand to the floor with its weight.

Rest... a voice called softly from her mind. Just a little rest, and you'll be fine - right here is okay, there's no one to see you. Just a nap, and everything will be alright...

Yes... a rest... just lie down, and let the darkness come... and everything would be alright... B'Elanna allowed herself to slump sideways on the deck, then to lie down fully, her hand still holding the small silver disc as it whined ineffectually, finally succumbing to the wonderful, restful darkness that sheltered her.

Staring out the viewport, Kathryn Janeway took a sip of scalding hot coffee, and forced herself to hold it on her tongue rather than swallow it immediately. Tears came to her eyes and she winced, then swallowed. And then contemplated that action. Perhaps it was to punish herself for her earlier lapse in judgement. Perhaps she didn't want to burn her throat as well as her tongue. Perhaps she just needed to feel a heat other than the one that was consuming her from within, this incredible, unstoppable, unfathomable desire that had leapt into her consciousness over the last two days and had pointed up the fact that she was still, indeed, human. And still capable of this kind of erotic yearning - a yearning she hadn't felt since Justin had died. But now felt again with more power and pleasure than she had thought she was capable of feeling.

For years she had accepted it. Even welcomed it. A nice, quiet existence, all that energy channeled into her work, never having the need for anything or anyone outside herself. Even Mark had been adjunct to her life, truly. She had desired him, loved him - but not needed him. Not like this.

And now, here was B'Elanna Torres. And herself saying 'damn the command, I want her'. She was human again, passionate again... the woman she had been so many years ago, and had thought she never would be again.

She found absolutely no comfort in that.

She took another sip of coffee, this one not burning her quite as much.

Damn.

Her first thought had been to come here, to her ready room. Safe. Sane. Work-related. It seemed somehow dangerous to allow herself to be alone in her quarters with these thoughts. She needed to stay focused. Concentrated. They were on the verge of going home - a new technology that could, if not get them there instantly, then certainly shorten their journey to one of tolerable proportions.

And passion had to get involved in it.

She sighed, still staring out at the stars prisming by. By all rights, it was over. Finished. It had happened, she had told B'Elanna it could not happen again, and they would go on with their lives and careers, and the research that would get Voyager back to Earth. There was nothing that could be done, nothing they could indulge in safely, and it had to be stopped here and now. Getting involved with B'Elanna Torres was impossible. Illogical. Inconceivable. Indefensible.

Inescapable, her mind added almost cheerfully.

She sighed deeply and leaned against the window frame, her head resting against the cool transparency. One kiss, she told herself. It was only one kiss.

Alright, yes, a particularly satisfying kiss, she allowed. A kiss that had made her feel warm all over, arms tightening, toes curling, lungs filling... A kiss that consumed her mind, captured her up in its sheer intensity, her body acting of its own quite separate will as her consciousness staggered about helplessly in fevered delirium, knowing she was devouring B'Elanna, knowing she wasn't supposed to be, and knowing she didn't care, because it felt so sweet, and so right, and so incredibly, phenomenally, unbelievably sensuous.

But it was only a kiss...

A kiss that could last a lifetime, a kiss that could fill her completely; a kiss that could make her faint, make her moan, make her scream, make her come... A kiss that swept through her, sending hot lines racing along her nerves, sparking needle-sharp sensation in her nipples, culminating in the most wonderful, delicious heat licking right at the very center of...

Good god.

She was losing her mind. That's all there was to it.

She raised her cup, looked into it for a moment, then carried it back to the replicator for recycling. Even coffee wasn't going to help this time.

"Sickbay to Janeway."

"Go ahead, Doctor," she answered, grateful for any distraction that would take her away from this introspection.

"Captain - Lieutenant Torres is in Sickbay. Her monitor was removed."

"What?"

"Do you know anything about this?"

"Nothing - I left the holodeck a few minutes ago. Is she alright?"

"In a word," he said dryly, "no. When her monitor alerted me that it had been removed, I tried to contact her. When I received no response, I transferred myself to the holodeck and found her lying unconscious on the floor. I've beamed her back here to Sickbay."

Janeway dropped her head to the bulkhead with a muted thunk.

"Captain - do you have any idea why Lieutenant Torres would remove the monitor?"

"None," she stated, heading for the turbolift. "But we need to find out. Maybe she started to remember something - Computer, Sickbay - and felt the monitor was interfering with her idea."

"That was my first thought," the Doctor replied, and Janeway could hear the muted hum of what she presumed to be a medical instrument. "But of course I have no idea what you two were doing in that holodeck in the first place - and neither does anyone else."

She fumed for a few seconds as the lift dropped.

"Captain?"

"Yes?"

"She's coming around."

"Good." Janeway stepped forward as the lift stopped and sprang out of the doors the moment they were far enough apart to grant her egress.

"Kathryn..." B'Elanna whispered as she crossed the Sickbay floor.

Janeway glanced at the Doctor. "Déja vu." She turned her attention the woman on the biobed. "I'm here, B'Elanna."

"Don't run away - please - don't run away."

Janeway closed her eyes. Oh god.

She glanced at the Doctor again. "I'm not running anywhere," she said soothingly. "I'm right here."

"You don't know how much... how much I want you..."

She forced herself to focus steadily on B'Elanna's face. "Shhhh," she quieted her gently. "We can talk about it later. Rest now..."

"I think I'll... " the hologram glanced about desperately, searching for something to do other than deactivating himself, then simply said, "...be over here." He beat a hasty retreat to out of earshot.

For which Kathryn would be eternally grateful.

"No - Kathryn - please." B'Elanna grasped her hand and held to it weakly. "I... I've wanted you for months... I've wanted to kiss you... hold you like that for months. I've wanted to..."

"B'Elanna." Janeway pressed a finger to the full lips, silencing her. "I know. I understand. But right now, you need help, and I want you to let the Doctor take care of you."

"Don't leave."

"I have to let the Doctor do his work, B'Elanna" she said as gently as she could, aware of the somewhat precarious nature of her engineer's condition, and chafing to let him take care of it. She caught his eye and motioned him over. "I'll stay until you sleep, alright? Then we can talk when you wake." She nodded to the Doctor, who pressed a hypospray to the young woman's neck.

"Kathryn... I lo...." the words died on her lips as she sank into unconsciousness.

Janeway stared at her for a long moment, truly unsure how to handle this. Some things, the Officers' Manual just didn't cover. She took a deep breath. "Doctor," she began.

"Delirium," he stated succinctly as she drew breath, focused entirely on the tricorder in his hand.

She closed her mouth. Delirium. Was he convinced of that? Or just providing her with an easy and dignified out?

She decided it wouldn't pay to think that one through too thoroughly.

"Delirium," she nodded, drawing a calming breath and stepping away. "Thank you. Doctor."

And she fled for the second time in one day.

And she kept fleeing, in her own way, for the next two weeks.

Three days were spent in the holodeck, refining procedure and setting up the sims for Deflector Control.

Another week passed with her in the Control Room and B'Elanna in Engineering, working in tandem over the comm to make the necessary modifications without compromising the rest of Deflector function.

Four more days were spent in the Jeffries tubes, performing on-site inspections as B'Elanna co-ordinated the teams and approved modifications to the warp drive. Only once did they manage to bump into each other in a secondary junction. And they stood there, staring at one another for a long moment, neither knowing quite what to say, and both knowing something needed to be said. It had taken several seconds of frozen tension, though, before B'Elanna had finally broken the silence with a quiet and respectful, "Captain."

"Lieutenant," she answered, nodding as they passed, very careful not to brush up against one another in the cramped space.

When they had cleared, she glanced back to find B'Elanna doing the same - and knew it was hopeless. Her nerves ignited all over again at the look in B'Elanna's eyes, a look of uncontrolled hunger mixed with helpless longing. And then B'Elanna nodded tightly and turned to go. Kathryn felt a profound sense of desolation at that nod - a gesture of resignation, of acceptance of the inevitable. An acknowledgement of the fact that they had been hiding from one another for fourteen days, and would continue to do so until the situation was resolved.

Something had to be done.

"B'Elanna."

"Yes?" The response was immediate and expectant, the younger woman spinning around to face her.

Janeway stood frozen again, her heart torn by the look of hopeful anticipation. She drew a deep breath, then released it in a humorous exhalation, dropping her head and crossing her arms. She looked up at B'Elanna through her eyelashes.

"We've been avoiding one another for days," she said simply.

Torres' mouth opened, then shut - then her eyes shifted slightly to look over Kathryn's shoulder - and then she dropped her head as well, and relaxed her stance. "I know," she said.

Kathryn nodded. "I think... maybe we should talk about it," she ventured carefully. "Maybe... come to some... resolution."

She watched as B'Elanna turned that over in her mind.

"Resolution is good," the half-Klingon finally said non-committally. "What do you suggest?"

Janeway shrugged delicately, hands spread in a conciliatory gesture. "Dinner?"

Torres nodded. "Dinner. Okay. Your quarters?"

Janeway nodded. "How about nineteen-hundred?"

"I'll be there." They stared at one another for a few seconds.

Janeway began to feel inordinately awkward under that burning gaze. She nodded again. "You'll excuse me," she murmured, turning to access the hatch.

And realizing too late that she had repeated her words of two weeks ago that had left B'Elanna bereft in a holodeck.

Damn.

She turned to amend the statement - and found B'Elanna striding away from her quickly, disappearing around a corner before she could lessen the impact.

Double damn.

She keyed the access code and entered the tube, crawling the twenty or so meters to the inspection site, where she was greeted by a mass of cables and boxes that resembled a 24^th-century Androclean knot.

"Creative," she murmured, and set about refining the process as much as possible.

Dinner at seven with B'Elanna, her inner voice prodded. Exactly what are you going to say?

Janeway waved her tricorder over the mass of technology and tried to begin a system map of it. I don't know. Tell her the truth, I suppose.

Janeway sighed and lifted a section of cable to access an unnecessary junction. The truth is, I want her and I know I can't have her. That's already been settled.

Yes. It has, she told herself stubbornly, finally giving up and cutting power to the entire assembly, ripping it out at the insertion points. She turned it over in her hand. "Who designed this, Rube Goldberg?"

She distinctly heard laughter over her shoulder.

Janeway separated the equipment she needed to re-do the re-route and set to work. I've never been one to simply sleep with someone just to do it. I think I would need more than that. I'm pretty sure B'Elanna would.

Her inner voice regarded her calmly. Not performing the actual deed - is that going to make you feel any better, really? If Mark were enough - if this existence were enough - you wouldn't be wanting anyone else at all. And tell me you haven't been thinking it.

She closed her eyes and sank back against the bulkhead. It was true of course. She'd thought about it. Over the last two weeks she'd thought about it a great deal. And for the six hours she hadn't slept last night, she'd thought about it constantly, resulting in some of the most vivid and satisfying fantasies she'd had in quite a while. And, as a matter of fact, resulting in the most explosive climax she'd ever experienced - by her own hand, or anyone else's.

Twice.

Now - her voice asked again. What are you going to do about it?

B'Elanna set her coffee cup on its saucer gingerly and turned to look at Janeway. Dinner had been passed in electric tension, neither one of them willing to bring up the subject at hand, forcing themselves instead to make sporadic and awkward conversation about the project and the next morning's trial run.

And now they sat on the couch, and the conversation was exhausted, and Janeway still hadn't dropped the other shoe.

Kathryn glanced at her tautly over the rim of her cup.

"Look - Captain..."

"Kathryn," Janeway interrupted gently. "Please."

B'Elanna ducked her head. "Kathryn. I can tell you're uncomfortable about this - and I really don't blame you, knowing what you know and all," she continued in a rush, unable to look Janeway in the face. "I mean, you heard what I said, you know how I feel about you - of course you knew that when I kissed you, probably, and I shouldn't have done that, I'm sorry...." she realized she was rambling, and took a deep breath. " So maybe it's best if I just leave and we forget it, okay?" She set down her coffee cup on the low table, only to find Janeway's hand lowering her own beside hers and grasping her wrist gently.

"Or maybe," the low, throaty voice considered, "it's best that you stay."

B'Elanna did look at her then - Janeway's eyes were even and steady, looking right at her with what could only be described as barely contained longing. B'Elanna swallowed hard.

"I'll be honest," Janeway continued, sitting back and holding her hand warmly. "I'm not sure what it is I want, exactly." She lowered her head and looked at their joined hands, then back at B'Elanna. "I know I want you," she murmured, her thumb moving in slow circles on the back of B'Elanna's hand, building an inordinate amount of tension. "I know I'm lonely, and that I want someone in my life. I know I don't have much to offer in the way of a relationship," she noted with a rueful smile. She looked back down at their hands, seeming to search for what to say next.

B'Elanna's mind, however, was still back at point number one.

"You want me," she said slowly, not exactly a question, more of a confirmation.

Janeway met her eyes again, her lips twitching as she made a short exhalation that may have been laughter. "Oh yes," she answered with great sincerity, her voice lowered to a huskiness B'Elanna had never before heard from her. "I want you. Very much."

They sat staring into one another's eyes for many long moments, both caught up in indescribable yearning, aware of one another's desire, yet seemingly unable to do anything about it, or even to reason what was to be done at all. B'Elanna's eyes lowered to take in the slightly parted lips, the elegant line of throat...

"I'd like very much for you to kiss me," Kathryn whispered warmly.

B'Elanna raised one hand to her cheek, stroking slowly with the backs of her fingers, smiling as Kathryn tilted her head to meet the caress. She cupped Kathryn's face warmly, acutely aware of the warm breath on her hand as Kathryn nuzzled her gently. Moving closer, B'Elanna raised her head slightly, feeling the warm breath now on her lips, Kathryn's eyes closing as they swayed toward one another. Carefully, in the hesitant fits and starts of a first kiss, they brushed lips, exploring gently. Softly, repeatedly, they kissed, sweet, lingering kisses, tasting of one another, consuming the heady sweetness gently, cautiously. Kathryn pulled away briefly to stare into B'Elanna's eyes, her own stare darkened to a deep blue-gray. Kathryn's hand came to her cheek, mirroring the hand at her own - and they kissed again, more passionately, continuing the warm stroking, Kathryn's breath coming in trembling sighs as B'Elanna bit and tugged gently, as Kathryn's tongue moved delicately over her lips, tempting her, seducing her with warm breath and soft lips, quiet moans of hunger and desire.

"I want you so," Kathryn whispered into her mouth... and B'Elanna kissed her fully, leaning forward to lay her back onto the cushions as Kathryn's arms slid across her shoulders to hold her tightly, as if she were afraid to let go. B'Elanna could taste her need, could feel the beautiful soft sound of pleasure that spilled into her mouth as Kathryn pulled her closer and their kiss deepened even further.

Only a few seconds of this, though, a brief moment, and then her Klingon half began to assert itself, demanding that it be granted release. She pulled away, wanting to wait, wanting to bring it under control... she would contain it, she would not let Kathryn see this, not now, she couldn't... And then Kathryn's arms tightened again, and her mouth was the sweetest velvet, and everything was spinning out of control, so fast, so good... She growled into Kathryn, ravening her mouth with hungry intent, surprised and even grateful when the hand at the back of her neck gripped her and pulled her down into burning kisses that seemed to last forever. Her arms holding the woman to her tightly, B'Elanna pinned her to the couch by sheer force of passion, leaving off her mouth and nipping down her jaw to kiss and suckle at the elegant throat that had so haunted her thoughts.

"No marks," Kathryn reminded her gently, showing no intention of stopping her.

B'Elanna growled and kissed ravenously over a spot just above the juncture of neck and shoulder. Kathryn groaned softly, almost a growl - and B'Elanna answered her against that lovely smooth skin, leaving off before inflicting actual pain, but not far from it.

And then Kathryn was pulling her up again, nipping her bottom lip playfully, smiling - she managed to shift them so she could stand, then held out her hand to B'Elanna. Standing there, in front of the huge windows, B'Elanna kissed her deeply again before Kathryn pulled away and led her unprotesting to the bedroom.

They stood at the foot of the bed, the starlight coming through the window the only illumination as Kathryn's body was revealed to her slowly. B'Elanna could only stand and stare as Kathryn undressed herself, smiling all the while, not a hint of self-consciousness in the act. B'Elanna watched intently as her uniform jacket was dropped to the floor, then her shirt and tank lifted up over her head, the muscles of her arms starkly defined in the starlight. Kathryn unclasped her hair, then shook it out, leaning her head back and running her hands though it, seemingly unaware of B'Elanna's scrutiny and yet performing for it at the same time. Again her hands slid up under her clothing, and her bra was pulled over her head and dropped with the rest of her clothing. Kathryn looked into her eyes unflinchingly, her lips curved upward in a completely sensuous smile as her hands moved into her waistband, pushing the trousers and underpants down her hips and allowing them to fall onto the deck, straightening and running her hands through her hair again as she stepped out of them.

And then she was nude, and her body was the most delicate porcelain, just as B'Elanna had imagined, slim and soft, perfect in its lines, unique and graceful and oh so beautiful... For long moments, B'Elanna simply gazed at her, at the long, elegant lines of her body, the deceptively slim musculature, the small breasts tipped with dark rose nipples, firming even as she watched. Her eyes slid over the ivory skin, the slight swell of belly, the auburn hair at her thighs, that fine thatch of thoroughbred animality... and then Kathryn was reaching to her, moving toward her, two steps that brought them within a breath of one another. B'Elanna sank to one knee, brushing her nose over the softness of belly, breathing in deeply, memorizing her scent as long-fingered hands stroked though her hair.

"Beautiful..." B'Elanna whispered, stroking parted lips softly over the sharp indent of rib cage, inhaling through her nose and mouth the unique scent of her, so delicate, complex, her hands smoothing over the silken skin of her back. "You are so beautiful..."

"And so are you," came the deep, throaty reply, Kathryn's mid-section rising and falling under her lips. The gentle hands in her hair slid to the back of her neck, to her shoulders - and then Kathryn was drawing her up, taking her into a strong, warm embrace as she brushed her lips softly over the ridges of her forehead. Kathryn's hands slid beneath her uniform jacket, removing it efficiently even as her mouth stroked over B'Elanna's forehead... her eyelids... her cheekbones... in short order, her turtleneck and bra joined the growing pile of clothing at their feet. And then Kathryn knelt to her, sliding trousers and underwear down her legs, helping her to step out of her boots, finally leaving her naked to that burning gaze as the older woman surveyed her slowly.

"B'Elanna..." Kathryn whispered, standing... and then they both gasped at the touch of skin on skin, pressing into one another as their lips met again and again in increasingly hungry kisses. Kathryn's hands on her were warm, and gentle, fingertips tracing the line of her jaw, the curve of her throat, sliding over her body with quiet determination, unwavering intensity. Again, B'Elanna buried her face in Kathryn's neck, seeking out and finding the swiftly darkening spot she had so thoroughly ravished before and adding to her handiwork.

"That drives me wild," Kathryn whispered, throwing her head back as her nipples stiffened immediately against B'Elanna's chest.

"Good," B'Elanna breathed, nipping the elegant line of the captain's clavicle. "I want you wild."

Kathryn groaned deeply and pressed into her. "B'Elanna," she whispered, her nails raking lightly across her shoulders, "is there... anything I should know..."

B'Elanna lifted her head to look at the older woman, desire quenched immediately at the question. Kathryn looked into her eyes innocently, smiling still, completely unaware of the hurtfulness of the assumption, waiting for an answer to the one question B'Elanna had never been able to avoid from any lover she had known.

"You want to know how Klingon I'm going to be," she said, a quiet accusation.

Kathryn's passionate blue-gray stare seemed to burn right down to her soul. "No," she whispered very seriously, two fingers coming to her lips and tracing them lightly, her eyes dropping to follow her fingers. "I want to know what you like." She captured B'Elanna's chin between a thumb and forefinger, capturing her again in that intense stare, eyes heavy-lidded as her thumb barely touched B'Elanna's lower lip, stroking her lightly. "I want to know how you need to be touched..." Her free hand slid up B'Elanna's ribcage to cup her breast gently, thumb sliding in feather-light circles over the already-aching nipple and the hand at her face slid back until she was cupping the back of B'Elanna's head, turning her face upward. Her voice deepened even further as she bent to murmur across B'Elanna's lips. "I want to know how you want me to love you..." And she captured B'Elanna in a deep, slow, sweet kiss that left her clinging to those slim alabaster shoulders as her knees threatened to give way completely.

"You're doing just fine," she managed to whisper when Kathryn finally released her.

Kathryn smiled, her teeth very bright in the starlight, and bit her lower lip again, this time not quite as playfully. Then again, softer, less mischievously, her lips stroking as they had earlier, exploring and teasing, stroking and tugging lightly as both hands cupped her breasts warmly, kneading gently.

"You've done this before," B'Elanna noted quietly, eyes closing as her head lolled backwards slightly. "With a woman, I mean." She drew in breath deeply, sighing in sweet rapture as Kathryn's hands slid over her body again, gathering her into a warm embrace.

"Mmhh," Kathryn murmured in affirmation, brushing her lips so very lightly over the ridges of her forehead, her voice warm, and husky, caressing her like velvet even as her soft lips made her lightheaded with sensuous caresses over B'Elanna's most newly discovered erogenous zone. She drew away to look into B'Elanna's eyes. "Does that bother you?"

B'Elanna nipped only half-playfully at her jaw. "No," she breathed, her forehead nuzzling down to rest in the juncture of neck and shoulder as Kathryn stroked her so very gently, warming her. B'Elanna arched and pressed into her, encouraging her. "I just... I don't really have much experience either way," she whispered.

She felt Kathryn's smile against her temple. "Well, then," Kathryn nuzzled her hair, her hands coming back to B'Elanna's breasts and stroking with tantalizing smoothness, "You have my word of honor I'll do everything in my power to make it worth the wait."

Her breathing growing heavy, B'Elanna nipped across the line of the captain's slender shoulder. "That," she half-growled, "was never in doubt." And then she raised her face to see her - and Kathryn's mouth was on hers again, possessing her, claiming her with kisses so deep and pure she thought she must surely be drowning. And it would have delighted her to do so. She dug her fingernails into Kathryn's soft skin, pulling her closer, responding more and more forcefully as Kathryn moaned softly into her mouth, sweet sounds of pleasure and hunger. Kathryn's hands matched her roughness, kneading her breasts now, sliding around her to crush her body to her in delicious, breathless excitement, bending to lie her not particularly gently on the bed and lowering her body on top of her, hands coming back to her breasts and kneading them with judicious firmness.

"Harder," B'Elanna managed between kisses, her body now surging under the slim form of her captain in reckless delight. Kathryn's hands left her breasts, her fingers captured B'Elanna's nipples, pinching them lightly as she shifted to allow herself more room, her mouth releasing B'Elanna's only for milliseconds at a time between fiery, ravenous kisses.

"Harder," B'Elanna repeated breathlessly, pressing up into her hands, gasping as Kathryn captured the hardened buds between forefinger and thumb, tugging and squeezing to just short of the point of pain. B'Elanna's hips bucked up, the sensation traveling straight down between her legs like an energy charge and leaving her gasping. And then again, the long, slim, strong fingers grasping and pulling, rolling the hardened flesh back and forth, building the passion that rose up in her, still careful but oh so good...

"Beautiful," Kathryn murmured against her throat, kissing her jaw from chin to ear, moving down over her throat to attend to what part of her breasts her hands did not keep occupied. And all the while, her fingers kept the pressure on, kept her arching and gasping and squirming in white-hot flashes of sheer ecstasy.

Kathryn bit her. Not seriously, not even drawing blood, merely a love-bite in the hollow of her shoulder - but the act itself both startled and aroused B'Elanna and she growled deep in her chest. Lifting her head, she found Kathryn watching her, her eyes now a deep blue, and burning with a passion she never would have imagined possible from this normally contained, patrician woman. A shock of sensation shot through her nipples again, Kathryn twisting them suddenly, and she threw her head back onto the pillows in involuntary response.

"Yes!" The word was a rapturous wail, her body a taut arch.

Kathryn's teeth captured her again, biting just under her left breast, marking her with thorough and loving attention as a purring growl rose in the exquisite Human throat. Her hands left off their sweet torment, one arm sliding beneath her waist as the other hand slid smoothly and purposefully to the juncture of her thighs. In full agreement, still arching to that powerful, demanding mouth, B'Elanna parted her thighs, opening herself to Kathryn, wanting nothing more than to do whatever Kathryn wanted...

At the first touch of Kathryn's fingers on her wetness, she cried out. She barely heard the answering moan against her skin, only half-realized that Kathryn was releasing her bite as the slim fingers dipped into incredible wetness, swirling in it, delighting in it, drawing slick fingertips over and over swollen hardness - and then Kathryn's mouth became the most exquisite velvet on her nipple, taking it in, matching her fingers in their wonderful, beautiful, swirling rhythms. B'Elanna's hands tangled themselves in silken red hair, her body arched and writhed under those delicate, precise caresses... and she cried out again as climax overwhelmed her, taking her by surprise, tearing the sound from her throat as Kathryn caressed her mercilessly. B'Elanna trembled, then shook, then thrashed as the contractions grew... grew... grew... Eyes shut tight against the unbearable excruciating drowning pleasure of it all, she felt her body gather itself again, stronger, deeper, overflowing... until with the uncontrolled cry of an animal, she clasped Kathryn's head to her bosom tightly, vaguely aware of the blissful smile on her lover's face as orgasm crashed in upon her, body arching and bucking against the lovely, gentle, exacting caresses of the woman she held.

Finally, gradually, Kathryn slowed her caresses, slowed... slowed... then drew her hand away tenderly as B'Elanna released her. B'Elanna lay panting, each exhalation a quiet sound of pleasure, an affirmation that she was still here, still breathing, still alive. Kathryn moved to lie on top of her, the lean body warm, and taut with need as her hips moved unconsciously against her. B'Elanna smiled and tightened her arms, feeling Kathryn nuzzle her hair as the motion became more focused, more insistent.

"Wait," Kathryn whispered, making a half-hearted attempt to raise herself.

"Why?" B'Elanna countered warmly, raising her knee to press against the wet heat more firmly. "Do you like it?"

"Yes," came the desperate whisper, Kathryn surrendering to the restraining arms and pressing her full body into B'Elanna as she pressed her thigh upward more firmly. "Oh god, yes."

"Then take what you want," B'Elanna whispered, kissing the delicate ear as Kathryn surged against her gently. She shifted her thigh again, felt the wet heat slipping over her as Kathryn opened to her, sliding easily on her, her body gaining momentum. Before long, Kathryn was rocking back and forth in a steady rhythm, her breath coming in quiet gasps and sighs. B'Elanna held her tightly, feeling with great pleasure the sensation of Kathryn's breasts soft on her own, Kathryn's body straining in her arms, the satin friction against her thigh, the unmistakable tension of pleasure building. Kathryn's face was buried in her neck, her sighs punctuated more and more by soft moans of pleasure, then by sounds of hunger as she kissed up and down B'Elanna's neck with increasing roughness.

"Good," the guttural whisper warmed her shoulder as Kathryn's tempo increased, her teeth raking B'Elanna's skin lightly. "Oh so good."

"So good," she answered, breathless herself as Kathryn's thigh settled between her own, stimulating already-inflamed parts. "So hot..."

"Yes... oh," Kathryn cried softly, raising her head to gaze into B'Elanna's eyes as her body continued its steady, constant flow, back and forth, with B'Elanna matching her every stroke, thrusting up from beneath her with renewed ardor. Her arms about Kathryn's shoulders, she stared into that burning blue gaze, Kathryn's hair wild, her head back, heavy-lidded eyes gazing down the fine nose, an expression of sheer bliss on her face.

B'Elanna drew her down with a hand at the back of her neck, watching as the sweet lips parted, the delicate tongue visible against the edge of her lower teeth as she neared... and they were kissing, deep searching kisses, Kathryn's hands sliding under her shoulders and clasping them from behind as her body began to move more forcefully, her entire body surging against her hotly. Kathryn's sounds became more and more guttural, the sweet sighs turning to quiet moans, sounds of passionate impatience melting into B'Elanna's mouth as she thrust against B'Elanna harder and harder... B'Elanna wondered at this - at the passion, the fire of her, the amazing, unrelenting kisses... and then thought left her as her lover shifted to rub in tiny half-circles on the muscle of her thigh, driving against her, moaning into her and bearing down on her own wetness as she stroked herself inexorably to her pleasure. B'Elanna's hands came to her waist, excited even further by the sensation of her hands following the motion of Kathryn's slim hips, the mouth that devoured her own, pressing deeply into her, plundering her.

Kathryn tore her mouth away, resting her forehead on B'Elanna's as she trembled, still stroking herself, still inflaming B'Elanna by association.

"Yes," she whispered, her body tensing, eyes shut tight against it.

"Yes," B'Elanna answered, thrusting more firmly, convinced she could come if she only had just... a little... more...

"Yes," she whispered again, her head lifting back between her shoulder blades, mouth open as she panted. "Yes... oh god... B'Elanna..."

"Kathryn..." B'Elanna answered, so close to coming, so very close... "Kathryn... wait... please..."

Kathryn opened her eyes, looking down at her. "Are you?" she whispered in sheer delight.

"Yes," B'Elanna fairly whimpered, staring up at her. "I want to..."

Kathryn's eyes burned into hers. "Then you shall," she promised. Never stopping her own rhythm, but pressing on her more lightly now, Kathryn wormed a hand between them to find the swollen hardness there, drawing in a sharp breath through her teeth as her fingers were enveloped once more.

"Ohhhh, B'Elanna," she breathed rapturously, her fingers stroking in fast circles. "Ohhhh, so good..."

"You're so good," B'Elanna exhaled, moving a hand between the older woman's thighs and finding the tiny hardness within. "So good," she repeated as Kathryn thrust up over her fingers, bathing them in heated wetness.

"B'Elanna," Kathryn said, her voice trembling along with her body, her hand moving faster, then slower, in fits and starts as she began to lose control. "B'Elanna... please... I can't..."

"Don't," B'Elanna indicated, watching with burning eyes as the captain began to thrust again. "Don't hold back. Let me watch you."

"But you..."

"Shhhh," B'Elanna silenced her as Kathryn's body continued to buck against her. "No, lover... let me see you... let me feel you... plenty of time for me," she coaxed, now wanting more than anything to see this woman in her pleasure, to feel her come.

"Oh, god," Janeway wailed softly, collapsing on top of her and resuming against her hand the rhythm B'Elanna knew would bring her to climax. Kathryn's fingers moved lower on her, Kathryn entered her... and it was B'Elanna's turn to cry out as she curled inside her, finding the soft swelling within, the spot that would bring B'Elanna with her, continuing to caress with the palm of her hand.

"Kathryn..." the motion on her clitoris increased as Kathryn massaged roughly within, pushing her, churning within her, forcing her into coming again. "Gods, Kathryn..." Her body responded powerfully, her hips thrusting to meet every motion of Kathryn's fingers in her, her leg wrapping around her hips to pull the woman closer. B'Elanna panted through clenched teeth as her vision clouded over, the pleasure almost too much to bear, almost too good, exactly what she loved, precisely what she needed...

"Yes," came the luxurious moan against her throat. B'Elanna felt Kathryn pull herself closer, felt her body tense in anticipation. "Yes... B'Elanna... now..." And the woman in her arms began to shudder, B'Elanna's fingertips at her opening feeling the blissful throbbing contractions as Kathryn dissolved into wordless moans of unadulterated delight. The fingers inside B'Elanna flexed convulsively, pushing her over the edge one last time as they both cried out in exquisite union, clinging to one another and pushing one another, panting and gasping, and finally kissing deeply as the last contractions subsided, leaving them breathless, still clasping one another strongly as if to draw breath from the kisses that consumed them.

Eventually, they relaxed, still holding one another close, but releasing arms and legs slowly to allow them breathing room, and many long moments to gather the scattered pieces of themselves as they lay entwined. They were silent, smiling, both stroking and soothing the other, completely content to lie in this warm embrace for as long as they possibly could, blocking out all thought of anything beyond the two of them. And when B'Elanna finally opened her eyes, it was to find Kathryn propped on her elbows, smiling at her. Her hair was tousled and tangled about her face, lending her an air of wild sensuality as the stormy deep blue-gray eyes smoldered.

B'Elanna smiled, a long, slow, pleased smile, and sighed contentedly. "I never knew," she murmured, running her hands up Kathryn's sides, over warm curves to rest on her shoulders, "that you would be this way."

"What way?" Kathryn lowered herself to kiss the ridged forehead lightly.

"So... passionate. I mean, I imagined you would be, but... I didn't think you would be this comfortable with my Klingon side," she admitted, gazing up at her with unabashed wonderment. They were both silent for a long moment, simply staring into one another's eyes.

"Well," Kathryn finally whispered, the moist, pink tip of her tongue barely visible between her teeth as her fingernail drew lazy circles on B'Elanna's chest. "Let's just consider it... an emergent property." She smiled that completely sexy half-smile, one eyebrow raising and lowering rakishly before she slid her hands under neck and shoulders and pulled B'Elanna's mouth to hers, lifting her off the bed, devouring her sweetly and somehow managing to rekindle the fire she had so recently sated. And before long, B'Elanna growled into her and entwined their legs, flipping them over roughly and devouring those perfect small breasts as Kathryn laughed in surprised delight.

"Coming about, bearing three-four-seven mark six," Tom Paris reported.

"Warp shielding in place, Engineering reports all systems functioning," B'Elanna added from the port Engineering station.

"Deflector modifications... on-line," Harry Kim announced.

"Steady as she goes, Mister Paris," Janeway said calmly, monitoring her console keenly. B'Elanna watched her just as steadily, noting with a strange sort of arousal the dark edge of a bruise that kept appearing and disappearing under the collar of her turtleneck. She really should have told Kathryn it might show, but... well, they had just been in way too much of a hurry this morning, and none too rested, either. B'Elanna forced herself to stifle the prideful grin that rose up in her. Kathryn Janeway. Kathryn Janeway was her lover. Kathryn Janeway had accepted her for who she was, even joined her in the roughness that had always disappointed others - too much for those who wanted her to be Human, not enough for those who wanted her to be Klingon...

She's something, alright, the voice in her head agreed as she stared to the command center, noting how Kathryn's breasts strained against her uniform as she leaned closer to compare notes with Chakotay. Let's just hope it was more than a one-night stand.

B'Elanna felt her thoughts freeze at that thought. A one-nighter. Just one of those things. Could it be that? Simply the captain assuaging her loneliness with someone she knew would be interested? Or taking advantage of B'Elanna's feelings to provide her with a sexual outlet after two and a half years of celibacy?

Could be, her inner voice nodded sagely. She as much as said it, didn't she? That she's lonely? Doesn't have anything to offer as far as a relationship? And so she indulges herself with her Klingon - everyone knows they're always wanting it anyway, right? Those overwhelming Klingon urges? A bit of the old slap and tickle before it's back to business and oh by the way, thanks for getting us back to the Alpha Quadrant, I'll write you in prison...

"Bridge to Engineering. Stand by to engage Experimental Transwarp System." B'Elanna's musings were cut off by the Captain's crisp order.

"Aye, Captain - all systems report ready, standing by" Susan Nicoletti answered from below decks.

"Tuvok, initiate nadion-tachyon beam... now."

"Beam initiated," the calm acknowledgement came.

Before he could even finish his sentence, however, all hands on the bridge were making startled exclamations, hands raised to shield their eyes from the blinding light of the forward viewer.

"Mister Kim - can you compensate!" Janeway barked.

"Attempting!" came the clipped answer. Then after about three seconds, "No effect!"

"Take it off-line!" Janeway ordered.

"Switching to passive sensors," Paris reported. "We're on instruments, Captain."

"Acknowledged."

B'Elanna kept her eyes glued to the Engineering console. Something wasn't right - she could just feel it. The data looked good, she couldn't put her finger on it, but something just wasn't quite there... Furrowing her brow, she stared at the readout, willing it to give her the information she wanted.

But why wasn't it going to work?

Borg and Starfleet - and Enaran and Sikarian... of course they mix. The Borg mix with everything.

B'Elanna Torres could make a thirty-seven year old piece of flotsam engine work, under worse conditions than this. It had to work. And so did this.

Janeway felt it under her boots before she saw it on her status screen. A subtle vibration, the powering of their experimental drive.

"ETS on-line," Torres reported, hands dancing over the controls as she handled tiny adjustments. "All systems nominal, reaction rate within established safety parameters." The vibration increased. "Attempting to compensate for electro-magnetic eddies."

"The Deflector grid is showing signs of overload," Kim warned. "Estimated time, ninety seconds."

"B'Elanna?" Janeway snapped. The vibration had become a low hum that set her teeth on edge and made her skin crawl.

"Neutrino concentrations increasing," Torres shouted. "Anti-neutrino effect... de-stabilized." She looked up at Janeway "We're losing containment, Captain."

"General shut-down," the Captain ordered. "Bridge to Engineering - shut down the Experimental Transwarp System!"

"I can't help you, Bridge," came Nicoletti's somewhat panicked reply. Janeway nodded to Torres, who immediately headed for the turbolift. "The relays are fused - I can't stop the reaction from here! I'm headed for Deflector Control now!"

"Lieutenant Torres is on her way. Stay where you are. I'll handle the Deflector. Bridge out. Chakotay," she added, turning command over as she strode to the lift.

"Captain," Chakotay called behind her, "I can't let you go in there - Deflector Control is going to blow in less than a minute."

"Not if I have anything to do with it," Janeway tossed over her shoulder as she stepped into the lift. "Deflector Control," she snapped as the doors hissed shut, effectively cutting off any further argument Chakotay may have made. "Emergency velocity," she added, and held on for dear life as the lift dropped suddenly. It would only speed up the journey by a few seconds - but a few seconds could make all the difference in this case.

The lift spilled her out into the corridor and she sprinted the short distance to the Control Room.

"Torres to Janeway - can you access the deflector?" came the harried call over her commbadge.

"I'm there now," she answered, hands flying over the console as she tried to determine the cause of the problem. Behind her, another panel erupted in a shower of sparks.

"Warning," the computer informed her calmly. "System overload in thirty seconds. Hull breach is imminent."

"Captain, get out of there!" Chakotay yelled.

"Captain, you have to sever the interlink with the ETS modifications. Do you hear me?"

"I hear you, B'Elanna," Janeway shouted over another explosion. "Computer - keep an open comm link to the Bridge and Engineering. Chakotay - see if you can help me cut the interlink between the Deflector and Engineering."

"Warning: System overload in fifteen seconds. Hull breach is imminent."

"Chakotay..."

"We're working on it, Captain!"

Janeway wiped the sweat from her eyes and worked feverishly at the console, trying to make heads or tails of the readings. Nothing seemed to be working as the simulation had indicated - the Deflector was completely off-line and feeding back into itself, sending massive amounts of energy through the dish, to be stored until the circuitry blew - and the Deflector with it.

"Captain - try shutting down the EPS manifolds - initiate a power surge in the forward deflector..."

"Warning: Deflector failure in ten seconds. Nine. Eight..."

"I'm going in manually!" Janeway shouted, blinking back acrid smoke as she pried the main power grid housing from the bulkhead. "I'm physically cutting the link!"

"No!" this from both Chakotay and B'Elanna as she grabbed hold of the main EPS manifold and yanked. The conduit moved only slightly. Janeway braced her foot on the bulkhead and threw her entire weight backward.

"Captain, get out of there!"

"Four. Three. Two."

Over the comm, there came the sound of ripping metal, along with what might have been a throaty cry - and then a deafening explosion that lit Harry Kim's Operations display like a Christmas tree.

And then silence.

"Bridge to Janeway."

There was no response.

"Chakotay to Janeway - respond!"

In Engineering, B'Elanna tapped her commbadge with an air of desperation. "Torres to Janeway - please respond! Captain!"

"Emergency medical teams have been dispatched," Tuvok stated dispassionately.

Engineering was silent as all hands stared at the comm speakers. B'Elanna closed her eyes and held tightly to her console.

After what seemed like a full minute or more, the Doctor's voice was heard over the open comm link. "Sickbay to Bridge - we have her, Commander."

And two departments let out a collective breath

"What's her condition?"

"Third-degree plasma burns and electrical overload," he said calmly. "Multiple contusions, a mild concussion, fractured ulna and humerus. She'll need some time to recover, but she'll be fine."

B'Elanna could almost hear the sigh of relief from the bridge. "Understood," Chakotay said. "Bridge to Engineering."

"Torres here."

"The captain is in Sickbay. How soon before we can have warp capability?"

"We're on it now," she answered as three technicians dropped pads on her console. "I'd say..." she perused Nicoletti's preliminary report, "twenty-four hours, minimum."

"Acknowledged. Do it as quickly as you can."

"Aye, Commander." The channel closed, and B'Elanna turned to Nicoletti. "Think you can handle it a few more minutes?"

Two brown eyebrows raised precipitously. "Lieutenant?"

"I'm going to see the Captain. She may be able to tell us something about the deflector," B'Elanna half-lied.

Nicoletti nodded. "I'll handle it, Chief." She turned and immediately stopped Vorik, assigning him new duty as she re-arranged her report to accommodate the absence of the department head.

B'Elanna beat a hasty retreat.

"You can't see her yet, come back later," the Doctor greeted her as she rounded the corner into Sickbay.

"You don't understand."

"I understand completely," he snipped through the sterile field, bending down to delicately remove a blackened, charred mess from the captain's arm. It took B'Elanna a few seconds of watching to realize he was removing her uniform where it had been burned and fused into her flesh. "I'm keeping her sedated until the surgeries are complete. You won't be able to talk to her for another two hours at least. Maybe longer, if you and Commander Chakotay don't stop pestering me."

B'Elanna watched for a few more long moments in macabre fascination.

"I mean it, Lieutenant - get out or be removed!"

B'Elanna nodded. "Sorry," she managed. "I'd appreciate it if you could let me know when she's able to talk to me."

The Doctor lifted his head long enough to look into her eyes with... compassion? "I will," he said gently.

The call came nearly three hours later, as B'Elanna stood in the still-smoking wreckage of the Deflector Control Room, surveying the considerable damage done by Kathryn's manual removal of the EPS relay circuitry. The resulting explosion could just as easily have blown Kathryn through the hull as it had thrown her against the inner bulkhead, and B'Elanna was profoundly surprised that hull breeches were not more significant. Any more of a buildup and half the dish could have been gone.

And Kathryn with it.

B'Elanna swallowed hard at that thought and directed Vorik to the replacement of the blown manifolds. Opening a tricorder, she began new readings on the nature of the malfunction, downloading every piece, every scrap of information she could from the twisted metal and half-destroyed boards.

"Sickbay to Lieutenant Torres."

"Torres here," B'Elanna snapped her head up hopefully.

"The Captain can have visitors, Lieutenant."

"Acknowledged. I'm on my way." With a nod to Vorik, she strode out of the Control Room and to the turbolift.

When she reached Sickbay, she went directly to the biobed where Janeway lay. Her surgeries complete, she was lying naked under a standard Sickbay gown, her bruises still evident and a few pink spots marking residual burns that would have to be healed with the vascular regenerator before dermal regeneration could be affected. B'Elanna paused in the door way, suddenly taken aback by how fragile the woman looked, how very vulnerable. She could be anyone - a scientist, a civilian... anyone at all, a normal Human female who just happened to have the ability and drive to be captain of the Federation Starship Voyager, and the stubbornness to put herself in mortal danger to save the rest of her crew from annihilation.

All in a day's work.

Janeway awoke - or perhaps she had been awake - and her head turned to smile somewhat shakily at B'Elanna.

"Hi," the younger woman breathed, walking to where the captain could see her clearly, though she didn't dare touch her. As she drew closer, the magnitude of the injuries sunk in fully. The captain's body was a mass of hematoma and barely-regenerated flesh.

Managing a weak smile, B'Elanna ran a finger over the bruise below Kathryn's left ear. "Looks like I left a mark after all," she whispered.

Janeway closed her eyes and smiled more genuinely. "Think anyone'll notice?"

This drew a chuckle from Torres and they stared at one another for a long moment.

"B'Elanna," Janeway finally murmured as she took her hand, looking into her eyes earnestly, "did you find out what went wrong?"

"Not yet. I think it's something to do with the deflector, but I'm not sure. We can have it back online in about twenty hours, a few hours before we get warp, and I'll make sure everything is up to spec this time..."

"No."

B'Elanna stopped short. "What?"

"No," Janeway repeated, eyes closing again. "I can't risk an experiment like this again. You, I, or anyone could have been killed in it, and the risk is too great to the ship. We don't have infinitely replaceable parts or personnel. Take it off-line."

"But Captain..."

"That's an order, Lieutenant." No could mistake the edge to that voice.

B'Elanna opened her mouth to speak, but thought better of it.

Janeway sighed tiredly. "B'Elanna, I know this was important to you. I know it's important to me. But we can't risk it."

B'Elanna nodded. "I think... I understand."

"Good." Janeway began to drift towards sleep.

"But I think we can use this information somehow."

"Mmm..." Janeway nodded.

"The shield harmonics are still viable - I'd like your permission to look them over and pass them by Tuvok for review. Those systems can be tested without endangering the rest of the ship, especially in those times when we aren't using active shielding for any other purpose. We may have developed an edge here, after all."

Janeway smiled. "Good work, Lieutenant," she said drowsily. "Permission granted."

B'Elanna nodded, then remembered Kathryn couldn't see her. "Thank you, Captain." She tilted her head. "I think I should go - let you get some rest?"

"One more thing." Janeway held her hand firmly. "I'd like to see you when I get out of here - I think we need to talk about... things."

"Things," B'Elanna repeated cautiously. "Like, last night kinds of things."

The red head nodded slowly. "And today kinds of things. And... well, just things."

B'Elanna was silent as she drew a deep breath. "Things, " she finally managed. "Right." She patted Janeway's hand and backed away from the bed. "Call me when you want to see me, Captain - I'm sure we can meet about it," she said in the most cheerful, professional voice she could muster as she kept walking backward. "Just... call me. Anytime."

By the time she hit the door, Janeway was already asleep

"Thanks for coming."

Two days later, over the Doctor's vociferous protestations, Kathryn Janeway was out of Sickbay and recovering in her quarters. She had finished updating her logs, read the reports from all departments, made the appropriate recommendations, and generally done much more than what the Doctor would have approved for her in a normal day in a biobed. All in all, it made her feel very productive.

B'Elanna Torres, on the other hand, was a walking bundle of nerves.

Janeway couldn't really blame her - they had had only one night together, and not nearly enough time to talk it all through. B'Elanna must be confused, jolted by her seemingly sudden change of heart.

Kathryn couldn't say that she herself wasn't shaken by her actions on those emotions.

She watched as B'Elanna walked around the room slowly, attention centered everywhere but on her, staring at the art on the walls, out the windows, the throw on the sofa... Kathryn sighed. God, when would she learn to be more careful about making her feelings clear from the outset?

"B'Elanna," she said softly, walking to where the Lieutenant stood and taking her hand. They stared out the window together for a time, B'Elanna's face unreadable as Kathryn watched her a bit more and wondered what she must be thinking. Finally she sighed silently and began the only way she could think to.

"About... our last night together..."

B'Elanna turned to her suddenly. "Look - Captain - that night was that night. I know the rules have changed. We had something wonderful, and now it's over. It's okay."

Janeway stared at her for a long moment. "B'Elanna, why would you think that?" she finally inquired.

"Isn't it true?" she answered stubbornly.

"No, it is not true," Kathryn replied calmly, reaching to take both her hands. "And I want to know why you think it is."

"You've never said anything before," B'Elanna pointed out. "And you always made it clear that you were interested only in what I could do for the ship. Doing my job - or occasionally a professional exchange - but nothing personal between us." She shrugged, trying her best to look nonchalant. "I know you like my mind, you like my work. Maybe you even like me. But if it was one night, I can understand that. I'm not asking for more."

Janeway nodded gravely. "Well, I'm glad you can handle that," she said very seriously. Then betrayed herself with the slightest twitch of a smile. "But it simply isn't true." She lowered her head and sighed, then met B'Elanna's eyes again holding her hands firmly and bouncing them every now and again as she made her point. "B'Elanna, I know I've never expressed interest. Because, quite honestly, a physical relationship never occurred to me. But that doesn't mean that it isn't possible to have a relationship at all." She sighed again, seemingly in frustration. "It only means that this wasn't planned by either of us, and it wasn't entirely expected by either of us, and it's a new experience for both of us." She smiled gently. "We don't have to figure it all out right this second," she said softly. "Just know that I care for you very deeply. And this is not just about one night." She tilted her head to seek out B'Elanna's eyes. "Do you understand that?"

"I guess I do," B'Elanna said quietly, somewhat ashamed at her own behavior now. "I'm sorry," she added.

Kathryn smiled, her teeth very bright in the lowered lighting of her quarters. "For what?"

"For being an idiot, for one," B'Elanna grated. "It's my damn Klingon side, I just... I can't always make it see things in perspective."

Kathryn shook her head gently, resting her forehead on B'Elanna's sturdy one. "Well, let's try to put it in perspective, then," she murmured, her voice warm, her breath even warmer against B'Elanna's lips. "You are here," she breathed, raising her face to brush her lips across B'Elanna's forehead ridges lightly. "And so am I." B'Elanna trembled as her tongue stroked almost imperceptibly over them, barely touching hyper-sensitive skin. "And we both have tomorrow off duty," Kathryn's breath burned her as strong, slim hands slid over her back and shoulders, caressing with delicious firmness.

"I hope you know," B'Elanna whispered with effort as Kathryn's lips caressed her with confident ease, "you make me absolutely insane when you do that."

"That's good," Kathryn whispered as she unfastened B'Elanna's uniform. "Because in that little speech you made, you left out one very important part."

"And what's that," B'Elanna breathed, staring into blue-gray eyes that had deepened to smoldering fire, the lips that were tinted just a touch more pink than they had been just a moment ago, B'Elanna acutely aware of the scent that wafted to her as Kathryn leaned toward her, the ineffably feminine fragrance of her, the clean scent touched by the spicy, floral scent of Terran perfume. B'Elanna felt her eyes become heavy-lidded as Kathryn leaned ever closer. The older woman glanced her up and down quickly, then raised an eyebrow conspiratorially and smiled.

"I like your body."

Kathryn watched in appreciation as the dark eyes widened, seeming to glow with a warmth that pierced right down to her very heart. Such a beautiful woman, so caring and passionate and wonderful - and entirely confused as to the nature of this type of relationship. Kathryn smiled reassuringly as she slid her hands over the curves of hip and around B'Elanna's waist, linking her fingers at the small of her back and pulling her close. Their hips met, both of them leaning back slightly to look at one another, breasts barely touching and eyes locked. And then B'Elanna's hands came to her, sliding over her arms to her shoulders, the back of her neck - and she was pulled gently forward, breasts pressing together fully as B'Elanna covered her mouth with melting velvet softness.

Kathryn sighed contentedly and relaxed into the kiss, gratified to see that B'Elanna didn't always need to be so ravenous. Not that it wasn't nice - but while B'Elanna's young body might be ready for another bout of lovemaking like that, hers was by no means up to the challenge. She sighed again as B'Elanna pulled away slowly, drawing her lips away and reaching a hand up to free her hair from its clasp.

"I know you're probably tired," she said softly, tossing the clasp to the desk and stroking a hand through Kathryn's hair gently. "If you don't want to..."

"I want to," Kathryn interrupted, kissing her again, softly.

B'Elanna smiled, a completely beautiful, angelic smile. "If you aren't able to," she corrected herself, tracing Kathryn's lips with a fingertip.

Kathryn parted her lips and closed her eyes in appreciation. "I can," she breathed, darting her tongue out to touch the fingertip that stroked her with a maddeningly light touch. "But... I need to be... slow..." She captured the finger carefully between her teeth and opened her eyes to B'Elanna's deep brown ones.

"Mmmm," the younger woman purred, drawing her hand away slowly and stroking it with excruciating care over Janeway's chin... throat... down her chest to the fastening of her uniform. "Hot..." she whispered as she released the fastenings. "And slow..." her eyes consumed Kathryn's as she repeated the teasing conversation they had had in the holodeck. "Plenty of time to... savor it."

"Absolutely," Janeway drawled softly, her eyes lowering to take in the body of the woman in her arms, lungs filling slowly in enjoyment. "I barely had time to do you justice."

"Is that a complaint?"

"No," she smiled as B'Elanna's hands toyed with the hem of her turtleneck. "Merely an observation."

B'Elanna's hands left her waist and came back to twine about her neck, pulling her close once again for another of those lingering, soft, perfectly lovely kisses. "I can be slow," she whispered as Kathryn's jacket slid from her shoulders and onto the floor. "Very slow," she continued as the turtleneck joined it.

Kathryn grasped her wrists, kissing deeply just below her hands. "You take care of your clothes, I'll take care of mine," she whispered huskily.

"I'll take care of both," Torres answered, punctuating the demand with a brief kiss. Her hands divested Kathryn of her trousers in one fluid motion, leaving her standing in only a gray tank top to cover the Starfleet-issue half-shirt and compression shorts when she had stepped out of her boots and freed her feet of her socks. "Computer," B'Elanna requested silkily, "raise ambient temperature by five degrees Centigrade." She smiled as the room warmed and quickly stripped off her jacket and turtleneck. "I want it warm enough," she whispered between deep, lingering kisses to Kathryn's throat, "not to need clothing. Or covers... or anything between you and me."

"Yes," Kathryn managed, her body already responding to the feel of B'Elanna so near, the soft, full lips caressing her throat, the sharp teeth nipping lightly at her pulse. Strong hands slid up under her shirt, raising it up over her head as Kathryn lifted her arms willingly. Kathryn stood silent, waiting, finally opening her eyes to see B'Elanna surveying her with open admiration. For many long moments, she watched B'Elanna watching her, the dark eyes seeming to travel over her with a palpable heat.

"I want you," she finally whispered.

B'Elanna's eyes came to hers again, and she was rewarded with a sultry smile.

"That's all I needed to hear," she murmured, taking her hand and leading her to bed.

Kathryn shivered as her remaining garments were taken, more a caress than a removal of clothing, and she was laid down on the bed. B'Elanna kicked off her boots, then leaned over her with one leg and one hand on the mattress, running her free hand lightly from the hollow of Kathryn's throat to the top of her hair, tangling her fingers in the short strands briefly before resuming her caress back up her body.

"Beautiful," she said with absolute sincerity. "You are so very beautiful."

She straddled Kathryn's hips, poised above her on all fours as she stared into her eyes. Kathryn felt as if she were being held in place by that dark gaze, hypnotized by the fire contained there. Slowly, achingly slowly, B'Elanna lowered her mouth to Kathryn's, kissing her warmly, possessively. Kathryn twined her arms about B'Elanna's neck and opened to it, welcoming the deep pleasure of her, the tongue that swirled over her teeth and then plunged into her, her hands moving to the waistband of her trousers to pull her undershirt free.

"Mm," B'Elanna murmured, pulling away and kneeling up over her, towering above her on the bed. Kathryn watched in sweet anticipation as the shirt and bra were removed in one sweeping motion - and then moaned softly as B'Elanna's body was lowered to hers, pressing into her warmly as they kissed again. B'Elanna's arms gathered her close, B'Elanna's mouth possessed her so very gently, yet commandingly, drawing a sound of deep pleasure from her throat. Kathryn kissed downward, over her chin, biting gently there, then nibbling down the underside to her throat.

"Well, damn," B'Elanna murmured, her voice betraying the smile on her face. "I was going to stand up... strip for you."

"Maybe later," Kathryn whispered against the smooth warmth, stroking with her tongue as she turned B'Elanna to her back.

B'Elanna laughed softly, her throat vibrating against Kathryn's lips. "You'd really like to see that?"

Kathryn pulled away, not entirely sure she was seriously asking. After a moment of trying to read her face, she answered, "Anyone with a pulse would like to see that, B'Elanna."

B'Elanna looked up at her, deadpan. "You say the sweetest things," she said dryly.

Kathryn laughed and nuzzled her neck lightly. "Alright," she whispered, "how about..." she went back to kissing and licking B'Elanna's neck, whispering hotly over the moisture between kisses. "I would like very much to see that... your body... unveiled to me... slowly... the lights up enough so I can see you... so beautiful... sensuous... watching you stretch, and arch... and know I'm the only one... who will see you like that..." Her monologue was ended by her face being pulled upward, and B'Elanna's mouth coming to hers and kissing her deeply. Kathryn gathered her close again, running her hands through the thickness of her hair as her hips began their gentle unconscious rocking, back and forth against B'Elanna's thigh.

"You are, you know," B'Elanna said softly when they parted. She looked into Kathryn's eyes gravely. "I don't think there's anyone else on the ship I would trust with that."

Kathryn cupped her face, running her thumb over her lips. "I know," she whispered simply. As they kissed again, she allowed her hand to trail downward over throat and shoulder, down her side to rest at the curve of her waist. B'Elanna's lips left hers, trailing down to kiss warmly over her throat. Kathryn arched sinuously. Good - B'Elanna was so good, the full, soft lips kissing over and over her softly, licking with light strokes of her tongue, swirling about her... And then B'Elanna's mouth trailed to the side of her neck, sucking strongly, biting as her hand cupped and kneaded Kathryn's breast gently.

"B'Elanna..." she murmured, hips moving more forcefully now, opening to her, sliding on her.

"Is this what you like?" B'Elanna whispered, lips never leaving her skin, her tongue swirling over the mark she had made. "Like this... pleasuring yourself... on me..."

"Not... mmmh..." she murmured as B'Elanna's mouth took up the lovely assault again. "Not necessarily." She shifted her hands to grasp the window frame as B'Elanna's strong hands pulled her upward on the bed, her throat now fully exposed and directly over that lush mouth. She moaned again softly as B'Elanna kissed over and over her throat, full lips drawing over the smooth skin effortlessly, tongue stroking tenderly. "I..." she whispered, head rolling back and forth slowly, "I... always move. I couldn't stop it if I wanted to."

"I don't want you to," B'Elanna answered warmly, lifting her further upward to kiss over her chest to her breasts. "I just want to know what you like." Her lips traced sweet, slow circles around Kathryn's breasts. Mouthing them, kissing them, nipping lightly... her hands came to Kathryn's waist as she buried her face in Kathryn's bosom and rolled her head back and forth, delighting in her softness for many moments before resuming her soft, teasing kisses that never quite reached the achingly hard nipples that begged for her attention.

After many sighing, trembling moments, Kathryn pushed herself back down to rest her forehead on B'Elanna's. "I like everything you do, darling," she murmured throatily. "Any way you want to touch me, however you like... it can't be wrong."

B'Elanna pulled her down again, more forcefully his time, and rolled them over quickly. "I want to be slow... for you," she whispered, mouth coming back to Kathryn's neck, marking her again as her body pressed her to the bed with gentle passion, "...but I don't know... if I can..."

"Just no wrestling," Kathryn murmured, smiling. "I can't fight you tonight, B'Elanna."

"And I don't want you to," B'Elanna whispered against the hardness of sternum, brushing over it with tantalizing smoothness. "I don't want a fight... I just want to kiss you... everywhere..." Her mouth reached a nipple and Kathryn arched. Oh, god she was so good - so absolutely extraordinary... Kathryn brought her hands to B'Elanna's hair and guided her to the places she loved most, smiling when B'Elanna slid her arms under her, lifting her to that sweet, talented mouth and groaning into her with obvious relish.

"Like that?" she managed, still arching and pressing up into her shamelessly.

"Yes," B'Elanna answered around the swirling of her tongue, shifting to trail her mouth across Kathryn's chest to her other breast and giving it the same slow and loving attention.

Kathryn writhed beneath her slowly, eyes closed in blissful acceptance as she murmured, "B'Elanna..." And still the rich, full lips took her, possessed her, made her insane with wanting, her hands stroking her lover's face and neck in gentle encouragement...

"B'Elanna... oh..." Kathryn murmured again many minutes later as that soft mouth kissed downward again, over her ribcage, down her belly, brushing though the hair at the juncture of her thighs.

B'Elanna kissed her gently, carefully, her hands stroking Kathryn's thighs apart with slow but unwavering insistence... and then her mouth was dizzying softness, paralyzing pleasure, Kathryn trembling and arching to her as B'Elanna stroked with infinite skill. Unable to speak, or even think, Kathryn forced her trembling hands to clasp around the bedclothes as B'Elanna stroked her... loved her... gathered her up into perfect, excruciating pleasure. B'Elanna's hair brushed against her thighs, B'Elanna's head moved in slow, sensuous rhythms as she concentrated completely on her task, her hands holding Kathryn firmly in place, stroking... stroking... stroking... The heat raced along her body, swirling through her with unparalleled power, B'Elanna so gentle and yet so strong on her, bringing her to her pleasure inexorably, the outcome inevitable, the joy almost unbearable.

Kathryn tried to concentrate, to focus on her lover's motions, to discern somehow exactly what this woman was doing to her. The smooth tongue slid over her again and again, B'Elanna kissing her deeply, fully, hands sliding beneath her hips to lift her again to that beautiful, gently ravenous mouth, stroking and circling and sweetly devouring her until at last she felt the gathering storm begin to overtake her.

"B'Elanna," Kathryn said out of her pleasure, barely aware of her own voice through the shuddering of her body. B'Elanna made no response, continuing to stroke in steady, perfect rhythm, sweeping her inexorably toward release. Kathryn felt her body begin to arch up, the tension unbearable, unlike anything she had felt for so long, consuming her... and then she came - completely, deeply, only vaguely hearing her own sound of rapture amid the tumult of it all.

B'Elanna lay between her thighs in unwavering devotion, lightening her strokes and touching now to soothe rather than to build tension. Her hands stroked Kathryn's thighs lightly, warmly, gentling her down until finally she drew away slowly and slid her heated body up to hold Kathryn gently. Propped on her elbows, allowing Kathryn room to breathe, she kissed softly over her face, warm, melting kisses, until Kathryn caught her breath and opened her eyes to smile up at her. Kathryn ran her hands slowly over the beautiful body of her lover, wanting her now more than ever.

"You have the softest skin," she whispered, completely captivated by the feel of the woman against her, determined not to miss a single moment this time, not one millimeter of her. She had not explored B'Elanna at all the first time they had made love, both of them in too much of a hurry and B'Elanna so passionate... staring up into the dark, expectant eyes, Kathryn resolved to find every spot, every secret place that would bring her lover pleasure.

Calling to mind her Academy course in Klingon anatomy - surely the forehead ridges were not the only legacy Prabsa Torres had given her daughter - she started with her back. She continued to run her hands slowly up and down the length of B'Elanna, noting the feel of her skin, the texture of it, the finest silk under her hands as B'Elanna kissed her again, another of those deep, toe-curling kisses that made her moan out loud. God, but this woman knew how to kiss... it had to be an innate ability. No one could learn how to do that. She allowed her tongue to circle B'Elanna's gently as her fingertips brushed over the ridge of her spine. B'Elanna lacked the plating of a full Klingon, she noted - but her spine was heavier, the bones larger than a Human female of her size. As B'Elanna deepened their kiss even further, she probed more intently, pressing against the sides of her spine, just between her shoulder blades... and was gratified to feel the sharp intake of breath as she discovered what she was looking for.

Capturing B'Elanna's mouth with her own, willing her to keep kissing her, she pressed against the six tiny bumps - three minor nodules on either side of the spine that would be mistaken for part of the musculature in a Human, but in a Klingon female would result in...

B'Elanna's mouth was torn from hers as the younger woman threw her head back with a shuddering gasp of rapture. "Gods - Kathryn - do you know what you're..."

"Mmm-hm," Janeway answered languorously, eyes closed in concentration as she shifted her fingers minutely, carefully, probing with tender firmness. "I know precisely what I'm doing."

B'Elanna groaned and pressed her pelvis against her. "Gods above... I've never... I mean, not on purpose..."

Removing her fingers slowly, Kathryn slid her hands upward and positioned them so that her thumbs were on either side of B'Elanna's spine, watching in half-amusement and half-anticipation as B'Elanna looked into her own eyes unsteadily.

"Kiss me," she demanded softly.

B'Elanna lowered herself again - and moaned deeply into her mouth as Kathryn slowly and very deliberately pressed firmly into her, moving her thumbs down along the tiny ridges. Kathryn smiled inwardly as B'Elanna said something, the words a moaning wail into her mouth, B'Elanna unable or unwilling to break their kiss. For long moments, she massaged there, using her thumbs to incite B'Elanna to pure madness... And then B'Elanna was pulling away again, Kathryn's hands moving on to linger tenderly at the small of her back as B'Elanna buried her face in her shoulder.

"Tell me what it feels like," Kathryn whispered as B'Elanna panted heavily.

"Like... like currents... electrical charges... to my nipples... between my legs..." She swallowed deep in her throat.

"Mmmm," Kathryn murmured, barely brushing her fingertips back over the area, tantalizing her lover with the possibility. "That sounds good."

"It's incredible," B'Elanna answered with complete and utter sincerity.

Kathryn smiled wantonly.

"I've never felt anything like it," B'Elanna was continuing breathlessly. "I mean, I've been touched there - and it felt good - but never like that..."

"Mm - no one ever knew about them?"

"I told some of them," B'Elanna said, still breathing heavily, but a bit more calm. "But they couldn't find them. And of course I can't reach."

"Of course," Kathryn purred, shifting from fingertips to fingernails, scratching firmly over the small section of spinal column. B'Elanna's forehead nuzzled roughly against her neck and her pelvis pressed into her again, the sturdy fabric of her trousers imprinting lightly on her thigh as Kathryn drew a deep breath.

"You're soaked through," she whispered directly into B'Elanna's ear, closing her eyes and seeking out the spinal nodules again, this time more delicately, wondering if they could be teased or if it was an all-or-nothing sort of thing.

"You make me so... ohhh, gods," she moaned as Kathryn pressed gently. "Kathryn... I've never been so wet..."

Kathryn nuzzled her ear and slid her hands into the waistband of her trousers. "I like you wet," she murmured, her voice husky. She pushed B'Elanna's remaining clothing down over her hips. B'Elanna's hands joined hers, taking the fabric down, then trying to hold herself up on her knees and still get them off without crushing Kathryn beneath her... she finally gave up and rolled to one side with a whispered curse, tugging and kicking the offending fabric.

Kathryn supposed it would not be wise to laugh at that.

But she did allow herself a smile as B'Elanna finally sent them flying across the room, immediately turning to her and sliding an arm over her to bring her back down onto the bed. Shifting softly to lie half on top of the beautiful tawny body, she kissed the rounded muscle of deltoid, the lovely clavicle... and then gently pressed her lips to B'Elanna's in a slow, lingering kiss. Her fingertips were light on B'Elanna's skin, stroking over and over her, circling around her breast, then the nipple, feeling the flesh tighten deliciously as B'Elanna sucked her tongue softly. B'Elanna's hands gripped her shoulders with increasing firmness as Kathryn caressed her with feathery fingertips, with her entire body as she moved against her, driving her slowly to barely-contained madness, kissing her deeper and deeper as the younger woman responded with sighs and moans, arching and gripping her hair, pulling her close and encouraging her with her body to a firmer touch.

"Please.. Kathryn..." she panted when Janeway finally released her, kissing downward to her breasts and taking a nipple into her mouth immediately. B'Elanna arched. Her hand stroking slow circles around her other nipple, Kathryn bit gently, drawing teeth and lips over the swollen flesh repeatedly until B'Elanna's hands on her shoulders urged her downward again, her thighs coming up on either side of her, cutting off all possibility of slow exploration.

She was guided downward firmly, B'Elanna's hands moving to her hair as she kissed over the mass of tight, dark curls at her thighs, inhaling her, stroking her inner thighs with the softest of touches, barely brushing over them, wondering idly if B'Elanna's thighs were as sensitive as her own. Slowly, gradually, she moved closer and closer to the juncture of her thighs, feeling the wetness on her centimeters before she reached her goal, gasping at how wet B'Elanna was, how incredibly ready.

Her fingers slid into warm wetness, evoking a growling moan from B'Elanna as she stroked over swollen softness. B'Elanna had already opened to her, was swollen and ready, and so very, very wet... Kathryn brushed her fingertips over B'Elanna's clitoris.

"Please... Kathryn..." came the stricken whisper, B'Elanna arching and trying to force her hand into the motions she needed. "Please... can you be... inside me..."

"Anything," Kathryn murmured against the inside of her thigh. "Anything you want..."

Kathryn nudged her brain into action again, trying to remember all of what she needed to know... She had found it the last time, much more easily than she had imagined, the soft swelling of B'Elanna's clitoris just inside her opening, reminding her that B'Elanna was different from her, unique. Special. Unlike a Human woman, in whom the clitoris was clearly recognizable, an erectile nerve bundle externally, accompanied by a large network of nerve fibers tucked safely behind the pubic bone, out of the way and inaccessible. In a Klingon woman, however, the accompanying nerve fibers reached downward and inward, forming a secondary sensory area within. An area that was every bit as sensitive as the one with which Kathryn was already well-acquainted.

She slid her fingers to the delicate opening, remembering their previous lovemaking with deep pleasure. Kathryn hadn't even been thinking to look then, hadn't realized it until she'd found it... but when she had, she'd recognized it and taken full, glorious advantage of it. Resting her head on B'Elanna's thigh, now stretched out on the bed, Kathryn entered her gradually, in bare millimeters, closing her eyes and attuning all her attention to her fingertips. She drew a breath of deep pleasure as she penetrated the opening, releasing it in a quiet sigh. B'Elanna was the finest velvet, and so very wet... Slowly, carefully, she advanced further, turning her fingers and caressing intimately as B'Elanna moaned.

As her fingers combed B'Elanna's walls minutely, Kathryn kissed the inside of her thigh deeply. Her fingers stroked over warm silk, slipping easily inside her, the creamy wetness welling around her fingers. Dipping deeper, she came to a place that seemed more open, less restrictive, less swollen... Kathryn smiled. She had found it. Again, with surprising ease. Withdrawing slowly, she pressed her fingers upward and circled around the slightly swollen spot with a fingertip. B'Elanna moaned. Lifting up to place a kiss on B'Elanna's dark mound, Kathryn curled her fingers upward and pressed fully on the spot, feeling the soft flesh hot amid the warmth of B'Elanna, watching as B'Elanna's jaw dropped, her face a portrait of helpless wonder... She rested her head on B'Elanna's thigh again and caressed with gentle insistence.

Kathryn was certain no one had ever done this to her. The moans were too surprised, the reaction too ecstatic. Kathryn felt a surge of anger toward B'Elanna's former lovers, wondering how anyone could have made love to her and not paid enough attention to have known this. Though in retrospect, if her lovers had been male, it was entirely possible that they wouldn't have had the chance. She tapped her fingertips delicately around the edge of the swelling, smiling at the moaning, growling, sinuous response. It had always been her speculation that this was the reason Human males all wanted to get in bed with a Klingon female. Assuming they survived the initial fight for dominance - which, of course, the female would win - they could then inspire this kind of response just from thrusting alone, without the need to stimulate in other ways.

It probably made them feel quite adept, she mused.

B'Elanna thrust to her, sending her fingers skidding over the swollen flesh and deep within. Kathryn abandoned her line of thought and turned her attention back to her task. She pressed into her again, drawing her fingers over the swelling from the inside out, nuzzling the tender skin under her cheek as B'Elanna rose up to keep her from leaving entirely. Kathryn plunged back into her gently, and repeated the caress, stroking her rhythmically, steadily, slowing every now and again to circle over her, to tap and flick the swelling, to lavish every caress her fingers could devise on this one small area until B'Elanna was arching and turning, her arms flung above head on the pillows, eyes closed, face a snarling, smiling mask of hedonistic abandon.

Kathryn moved to watch her for a moment, the magnificent, sensuous body so consumed by pleasure... pleasure she had created... a then she lowered her head, sucking B'Elanna's swollen clitoris into her mouth gently, finally tasting her fully, so good, so unbelievably delicious, moving in concert with her hand to bring her lover to the release she so desperately wanted now, the climax Kathryn knew she absolutely craved... Apparently unable to speak, B'Elanna arched to her, one hand coming to tangle in her hair, gripping it, holding her head firmly in place as she thrust up to Kathryn's fingers, directing her own pleasure. Kathryn continued to suck softly, barely flicking the hard little bud with her tongue, moaning as B'Elanna's hand pulled against her more firmly, forcing her into her, panting and growling. Kathryn moaned into her softly, opening her mouth further - and then she unleashed, stroking B'Elanna mercilessly, driving her toward the dazzling precipice with her tongue while keeping up the gentle motions of her hand. B'Elanna cried out. B'Elanna thrashed. And finally, B'Elanna bucked to her mouth, Kathryn's fingers forced deeply within, feeling the entire force of her coming as her fingers were taken and held tightly, the contractions nearly painful in their intensity.

For some moments, B'Elanna held her there, still stroking, still pushing... and then B'Elanna's hand in her hair pulled her mouth away roughly, holding her against the softness of her inner thigh. They both panted for long moments, Kathryn not wanting to withdraw her hand just yet, lying still with in her. And then B'Elanna's breathing deepened, her body vibrated with a low, moaning growl... and her hand pulled Kathryn's mouth abruptly to her again, holding her in place as she cried out again in unabashed ecstasy.

Later, they lay together, Kathryn on her back and B'Elanna curled up in the crook of her arm as they whispered in the starlight.

"I guess maybe it was my chance to show you that I was okay - that you could count on me to do what was best for the ship." She lay on her side, head pillowed on Kathryn's shoulder as she whispered, Kathryn stroking a hand through her hair.

"I've always believed I could," Kathryn murmured reassuringly, eyes closed, fingernails raking ever-so-lightly over her scalp in soothing motion.

"Not always," B'Elanna contradicted. "You didn't trust me at all at first. And then when I was part of the conspiracy... You made it more than clear that you kept me at my post only because I was the only person qualified to do the job." Sighing deeply, she pressed into the lithe, warm body even further, wrapping her arm about the taut stomach just below the rib cage as she nuzzled an elegant shoulder. "I just needed to prove myself to you." She kissed the shoulder delicately. "And if I died doing it, then at least I would die knowing you believed in me."

Janeway tilted her head to look down into her face for a long moment. "You had absolutely nothing to prove to me, B'Elanna," she said quietly. Then continued gently, "But maybe you do still have a few things to prove to yourself." Her arms came up around B'Elanna's shoulders and she held the younger woman tightly to her for several seconds. "And as for believing in you, and in your abilities," she smiled, releasing B'Elanna to take her chin between thumb and forefinger, lifting it so that their eyes met, "I always have." She bent down, holding B'Elanna's chin as she kissed her tenderly. "And I always will."

B'Elanna sighed, bowing her head and closing her eyes at that affirmation, allowing them comfortable silence. Kathryn lay back among the pillows again, drawing her into a comfortable position. She listened for several minutes as the older woman's breathing deepened, evened out... then slowly became shallow and rhythmic, the unmistakable cadence of sleep. And B'Elanna, her heart suddenly lighter than it had been in years, nestled her head into the hollow of Kathryn's shoulder and allowed herself to relax fully as the steady heartbeat beneath her cheek lulled her to sleep as well. As she drifted, images came to her again, this time not those of a stranger, but her own memories of the wonderful woman she held in her arms - the sacrifices she had made, the chances she had taken on all of them... and she realized that of all the emergent properties, of all the random events in life, Kathryn Janeway's finest hour may well have been stranding them all in the Delta Quadrant and forcing them all - herself included - to become more than merely themselves.

To find their own emergent properties.

Copyright Liz Griffin, 1998. All rights reserved.

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