Dark Match
Brian Norton Vs Taskmaster Did not happen
Dark Match
J-ro(7.5)late) def Chris Van Dam (6.5) late
Dark Match
Curse Coltrane & Xavier lawless (28.875/30) Def Shawn Shamrock & Matt Elliott(13/30) and Tara London & Amy Suicide(10/30)
(Stand up by Trapt plays throughout the Arena as the Camera shows the Crowd going wild)
(Tony Reynolds) We Are Livvvvvvvvvvvvvvve From the Continental Airlines Arena in East Rutherford,New Jersey!!!! I am "Tenacious" Tony Reynolds. Alongside me as Always is The Professor of Wrestling Jason Summers. Jason what a great show we have for the folks tonight.
(Tony Reynolds) Yeah The Xwa is the House of Xtreme Wrestling, Not Xtreme Sports Entertainment! Anyway folks we have one hell of a WRESTLING show for you tonight.
(Jason Summers) That's right Tony. we have 4 title matches tonight and one hell of a main Event.
(Tony Reynolds) That's right Professor As the Ministry will take on the Montez's in a Steel Cage Match!, we haven't had a Steel Cage tag team Match since 2004 so this one should be something truly special. We'll with that said Guess what time it is Professor?
(Jason Summers) Time to go bury that hooker I killed last night?
(Tony Reynolds) Uh No and I think you just confessed to a crime on National Television. No it's Time for our first match of the night, Lets go to Devon Shire in the ring.
(Bell rings)
(Devon Shire)The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is a tag team match.
(Party hard by Andrew Wk Plays over the p.a System)
(Devon Shire) Coming to the ring first weighing in at 257lbs from Party City, Florida here is the "Awesome Icon" Aaron Willis!!!!!
(Willis emerges from behind the curtain accompanied by his butler Rey Tard)
(Tony Reynolds) Aaron Willis is definitely one of the top future prospects in the Xwa the kid has real talent this should be some match.
(Jason Summers) Tony I have one word for how this match is going to end. It starts with S and ends in H. The Word is Squash!! This is going to be a Squash match.
(Tony Reynolds) Oh come on man.
(Devon Shire) and his Tag Team Partner.....
(Flagpole Sitta By Harvey Danger begins to play throughout the arena)
(Devon Shire) Coming to the ring from Milwaukee, Wisconsin weighing in at 213lbs here is Kid Domino!!!!
(The crowd cheers as Kid Domino emerges from behind the curtain)
(Tony Reynolds) Kid Domino looking to get his career back on track in the Xwa, after all the man is a former tag team champion.
(Jason Summers) Wow really he was tag team champion, gee how thrilling!!!
(Tony Reynolds) Gee Jason......Is there any particular reason your being a dick tonight?
(Jason Summers) Bite me TODD PETTENGILL!!!!
(Tony Reynolds) Look I don't know who put the sand in your vagina but you better douche it and chill out before the Owner gives you the boot.
(Jason Summers)Pfft, Whatever.
(Devon Shire) and their opponent
(Miri Ben-Ari featuring Styles P- We Gonna Win, They Gonna Lose plays)
(Devon Shire) Born in San Francisco, California but currently residing in Manhattan, New york weighing in at 270 pounds here is "The Nightmare" Shane Meadows!!!
(Shane Meadows emerges from behind the curtain to a nice sized ovation from the crowd)
(Tony Reynolds) Meadows making his return to the Xwa after nearly breaking his leg almost 6 weeks today. When asked why he changed his well known nickname, Meadows simply said the Time for Games is over and it's time for the Nightmare to begin!!!
(Jason Summers) Wow how Boringly deep of Meadows
(Tony Reynolds) *coughs Douche bag Coughs* *coughs Sand in your vagina coughs*
(Jason Summers) How adult of you Tony.
(Devon Shire) And his Tag team partner......
("Bring It On" by Kottonmouth Kings)
(Devon Shire) Hailing from the Beersville home for the Criminally Insane She is The New XWA X-DIVISION CHAMPION OF THE WORRRRLD here is Mary Jane Montez!!!!!!!!!!!
(An Black haired Mary Jane Montez emerges from behind the curtain with the X-division title wrapped tightly in her arms)
(Tony Reynolds) Is it me or does Mary Jane look exactly like the Evil Chick from the Ring Movies?
(Jason Summers) No your right for once, That chick is totally channeling evil.
(bell rings)
(Tony Reynolds) Here we go folks the bell has rung and this match is underway. Meadows will start it off for The team of Meadows and "Hatchet Ryda" Mary Jane Montez. Kid Domino will be sent out for Domino and Willis. The bell sounds and we are underway. Kid Domino jumps out to an early advantage putting Meadows on his ass with a dropkick to the knee. Domino is working away at Meadows it looks like he is trying to end this quickly going for kokina clutch... No Meadows saves himself with a thumb to the eye. Domino is stunned and Meadows makes it to the corner and tags in MJM. Montez connects immediately with a clothesline that sends Kid Domino to the mat. MJM is in control and is stomping the fire out of Domino. She is heading to the ropes and may be preparing for the crazy train!! ... no.. Aaron Willis grabs her legs and sends her crashing to the mat. Meadows is chasing willis around the ring. MJM is down. Domino is up and looking to pick her up for a T-Bone Suplex but NO! MJM reverses into a Roll Up Pin....... 1...........2.........3.... WOW what a reversal by Mary Jane Montez and Her and Shane Meadows will walk away from this one with the win.
(Devon Shire) and your Winners of the Match the Team of Mary Jane Montez and Shane Meadows!!!
Winners@4:59-Mary Jane Montez and Shane Meadows
(Tony Reynolds) Mary Jane Montez and Meadows pick up the victory as they catch Willis and Kid Domino with their pants down.
(Jason Summers) No Like I told you before douche bigelow, SQUASH!!!!!!!!
(The camera shows the backstage area as The Executioner is walking down the hallway his match, When he bumps into Xavier Lawless in the hallway)
(Xavier Lawless): Watch where the hell your going Asshole!!
(Executioner) Who the hell are you anyway, look you are entirely too small to be messing with someone like me, So I suggest you get your bitch ass out of my face before you get Executed!!!
(Xavier Lawless) For your information dumbass I'm Big enough to kick your ass. As for your suggestions I suggest you shove them up your ass, I suggest you then kiss my White Southern ass and I suggest you go back to the boonies where you belong before you end up in a coma boy!
(Executioner takes a swing at Lawless rocking him, Lawless returns the favor and the two start brawling wildly before several Xwa wrestlers come and break up the wrestlers, The Camera shows Tony Reynolds and Jason Summers at the Announce Desk)
(Voice of Tony Reynolds) Executioner is ready to have a fight and he will have one on his hands as he takes on Darkside right after this commercial break!!
(Camera faded to commercial)
Narrator: This message is paid for by your Destruction!!
(Music plays in the background)
They are a Dominate Force in the Wrestling Lexicon
They Will Lay Waste to the World of Wrestling......
They Will Dominate like no other........
And most importantly.............
They Are Here!!!!
Fear has a name..........
(Camera fades to black)
Ben Affleck : Hi I'm academy award winner and Horrible
Actor Ben Affleck. Do You suffer From Performance
Anxiety in the Bedroom? Then Vega Labs has got the
Product for You. From the Makers of Shoot a bitch
Malt Liquor and oh my god there's a Head growing out
of my ass Cigarettes Comes the Newest Product: BONER
545, Boner 545 is Sure To Get Your Lacking Sex Life
Popping like popcorn. How was Boner 545 made well
three Dumb ass redneck's in the Ozarks were trying to
Find a New way to get high and have sex so they Mixed
Crystal meth, Viagra, gasoline, Weed, Acid, Coffee and
Crack Cocaine together with Chemical X and Not Only
Did it Eventually put them in Semi Permanent
Vegetative state it also gave them a wicked wicked
Boner. Now We too Want to Put B In Your Bone With Our
Boner 545!!!!
Narrator: Take Three Pills with Water And
Watch Boner 545 go to Work. The Enzymes inside your
Little Johnson will simply start Working.
Ben Affleck: hey so it
might give you the shakes and a Massive heart attack
but the important thing is you'll have a hard on for
Days!!!!!! if you don't Believe me Just listen to
these other Celebrity endorsements.
Former Wwe Star the godfather: Not only Does Boner 545
help me Satisfy All My fine bitches but it also
Improved my Shitty Ass Wrestling Skills although not
enough to Really matter so i'm still a
Jobber.......But i Fuck Like a Champ.
Jared Vogel from Subway: Boner 545 Helped me lose all
that Weight I Mean i was so fat i Couldn't Find My
Penis But when I took Boner 545 It helped Me Find IT
and i whacked off so much i Lost Over 200 pounds
Thanks Boner 545
Paul shore: the Weasel Was Lacking in the Sack
Department Due to a freak accident on the Set of Bio
dome 3 but thanks to Boner 545 the Ladies can once
again Squeeze the Weasel, All right Bu--dd-y
Vince McMahon: Damn it I'm Vince McMahon But sometimes
Even The Genetic Jackhammer Has Performance Issues
Viagra Wasn't Working And I Needed Something To Get
Little Vince going .So I Talked To Jerry The King Lawler and He
Told me about Boner 545 Now Linda and I Have never
Been Happier Cause My Jackhammer IS Back Online Thanks
Boner 545!!!!
(Ben Affleck) So stop Being a Loser Already get The
proper Erection that You Want Get boner 545
Announcer voice: Boner 545 Might Cause the Following
Effect's, Insomnia , Acne, Addiction to Illegal
Substances, It might Cause The dead to rise from their
grave and Make hell freeze Over, Pigs might fly out of
your ass if Boner 545 is Ingested, a Mini Christina
Agiulera Dog Might Come out of the TV and Chase You
around The Room and It Just might Make Your Heart turn
into a Monster and eat you alive from the inside out.
::::::Get Boner 545 cause
Viagra is for pussies!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ::::::
(Back to the Show)
(Tony Reynolds) Welcome back to the show folks, As you can see the street fight is about it start as there are various weapons surrounding the ring and Darkside has made his way to ringside as he awaits The Executioner.
('Bow to the King by Motorhead Plays)
(Devon Shire) And his opponent from St Paul, Minnesota weighing in at 320lbs he is the self proclaimed Lord of Execution!!! here is the Executioner!!!!!
(The Crowd erupts for the young star as the big man emerges from behind the curtain)
(Tony Reynolds) There is one word to Describe both of these men Jason. BIG. Executioner tipping the scales at 6'10 320lbs meanwhile his opponent is 7'0 and 300lbs. A true battle of the big men is about to commence!
(bell rings)
And this one is underway Executioner climbs in the ring and the two big men start exchanging blows like two heavyweight prize fighters!! Darkside get an early advantage with a quick knee lift to the abdomen of the Executioner. Darkside connects with a series of brutal hands, stunning Ex. Darkside Irish whips Ex into the ropes, Ex comes back off the ropes and runs into a big boot from Darkside.And Darkside is dominating this match thus far. Darkside slides out of the ring and tosses a garbage can, lid and all into the ring. He looks underneath the ring and pulls out a chair. Executioner is on one knee in the ring he looks up and sees the chair in the hands of Darkside. Executioner makes it to his feet and charges toward the ropes and connects with a baseball slide sending the chair into the face of Darkside! Oh What a move!!!! Executioner grabs the trash lid and slides to the outside. Executioner kicks Darkside in the midsection and proceeds to whack Darkside in the head once, no twice, no three times and Darkside is on dream street!! Executioner kicks Darkside in the gut and drops him to the mat with a Spear!!! Executioner goes for the cover on the outside
1....................
2.................................
Kick out by Darkside!!!!! Executioner forgot to hook that leg that is clearly a sign of his inexperience in the business. A veteran would never make such a mistake. Executioner pulls Darkside to his feet and whips him toward the Ring steps but Darkside reverses it and Sends Executioner shoulder first into those Steel Steps!!!!
(Jason Summers) What a thud!! he will be feeling that tomorrow morning.
(Tony Reynolds) Darkside moves quickly and pulls Ex to his feet, he lifts Ex up and drops him on the hard concrete floor with the sidewalk slam. Darkside looks underneath the ring again and this time pulls out a table!!! and the crowd seems to really like that Idea!!!
(Crowd chants: We Want Tables)
Darkside goes to lift Ex up but he pulls out a desperation move and gets in the low blow!!! Darkside drops to his knees and Executioner escapes quickly back into the ring.
(Jason Summers) Ex really seems hurt Tony I think that Sidewalk slam did more damage than even he realized.
(Tony Reynolds) Oh I would say that is a certainty as The Executioner is writhing around on the Mat holding his lower back. Darkside rises to his feet on the outside and he looks none to happy, the big man quickly slides in the ring and takes advantage of a injured Executioner. Darkside is stomping away at the Executioner. Darkside pulls Ex to his feet and whips him into the corner. Darkside charges into the corner and connects with the splash and Executioner collapses in a heap in the corner. Darkside has broken the Executioner, he signals for the end and lifts Ex onto the top rope. Darkside climbs on the top rope and lifts Executioner up with him, looks like Darkside is going to attempt the Super tombstone. Darkside goes to hook the Executioner up but Ex rips at the eyes of Darkside. Darkside is blinded and he stumbles and falls from the top turnbuckle!!!! Executioner climbs down off the top rope and walks toward the trash can and places it in the center of the ring. Ex sneaks up behind Darkside and stalks the 7 footer waiting for him to get to his feet. Darkside stumbles but grabs the ropes and manages to pull himself up, The Executioner is still waiting he is practically chomping at the bit for Darkside to turnaround. Darkside turns around and Ex kicks in the gut and lifts him up and hits him with The Ultimate Execution on the Trash Can!!!!!! What a Move!!! Executioner goes for the pin
1......................................
2...............................
3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Bell rings)
(Bow To the King by Motorhead plays throughout the Arena)
(Devon Shire) And your winner here is The EXECUTIONER!!!!!
Winner@15:25-The Executioner!
(Tony Reynolds) The Executioner picks a nice win here as he defeats Darkside here tonight!
(The Camera shows The Executioner on the outside of the ring looking for something underneath the ring, it's a spray can)
(Tony Reynolds) What is he going to do with that?
(The Executioner walks over Toward Darkside and begins to write something on the Chest it's a Big Red X!!)
(Tony Reynolds) It Would seem Jason that Darkside has just been Executed.
(Jason Summers)Wait I got one too,Looks like it's back to the Darkness for Darkside.
(Tony Reynolds) Puns Rule folks! I'm getting word from the back that something is happening backstage, lets cut backstage.
( The Camera cuts to show Amy Legacy)
(Amy Legacy) Hello Tony, This is Amy Legacy standing by to get a interview with Curse Coltrane if I can find him Excuse me have you seen Curse Coltrane?
(A man in a green kilt , wearing a fake beard and a He-man shirt turns around to show the face of Curse Coltrane)
(Amy Legacy) Un...... hello Mr Coltrane how are you tonight?
(Curse Coltrane) (irish accent): i'll get Trapjaw and Merman in this bitch,boot in yer ass laddy, I HAVE THE POWER!!!
(Amy Legacy) Uh.......okay Mr coltrane are you okay?
(Curse Coltrane) who is this Curse Coltrane you keep talking about? whoever he is he sounds like a very handsome man, not that I'm into that sort of thing, No lass The Mighty and Manly Marty Mcfarlen doesn't swing the gay way!!!
(Amy Legacy) Wow....okay I wanted to ask you....... Marty about Curse coltrane's Tag team title match next week, do you have any comments?
(Curse Coltrane) I'm sure this Coltrane fella will strike Fear into the hearts of his victims!!!! But I The Mighty Irishman of the clan Mcfarlen have a deeper Problem!!!
(Amy Legacy) What might that be?
(Curse Coltrane) Two words.......He-man
(Amy Legacy) I'm sorry did you just say He-man? as in the 1980's cartoon he-man and the masters of the universe?
(Curse Coltrane) Cartoon what is this a game to you lass? He-Man is a real problem, Walking around with his Power Sword ,Shagging Teela whenever he wants, Skeletor wants him gone and it shall be!!!!
(Amy Legacy) Wow what the hell is wrong with you?
(Curse Coltrane) Don't make me grab me magic staff Not a damn thing is wrong with me I'm as fit as a fiddle thank you very much, I'm just looking for he-man so I can kick his Arse all over New Jersey!!!!
(Amy Legacy) Okay That's it I need a Vacation!!
(Legacy drops the mic and just walks away)
(The Camera shows Legacy walking away, then swings back to show Curse Coltrane looking dead into the camera with his fist shaking violently)
(Curse Coltrane) Where's me lackey Beast man? I'LL GET YOU HE-MAN!!!
(Camera cuts to back to the announce booth)
(Tony Reynolds)...............
(Jason Summers) Hahaha oh my god I'm dying over here, dear sweet god that guy has lost his damn mind. Oh my god that was pure greatness.
(Tony Reynolds) That was 5 minutes of my life I will never get back, that was probably stupidest thing I've ever seen and I actually paid to see Alone in the Dark so you people can clearly see how stupid that just was .Anyway, Folks We're going to cut to a quick commercial, we'll be back with Round 1 of the Round Robin Challenge!!!
(cuts to commercial)
Narrator: His Influence is Legendary........
Mccloud grabs Cruncher by the neck and charges toward the ladder............SAY GOOD NIGHT GRACIE OFFTHE LADDER!!!!!!
Narrator: He is one of the hottest stars in Wrestling today.........
The winner of this contest, and the NEW... UNDISPUTED WWS CHAMPION... DUNCAN McCLOUD!
And He will return.......
(Miseria Cantare” By A.F.I plays)
Next week!!!!!
(Back to Show)
(Tony Reynolds) Welcome back folks, It should be some show next week As Duncan McCloud will make his first appearance since injuring himself nearly 2 months ago.
(Jason Summers) Personally I can't wait, It's about time the company got a true influx of talent again.
(Tony reynolds) Jason, are you insinuating that the Xwa has no talent? What about Brandon S Yelder, Kryptonite-X, Shane Montez, Synyster, Paul Pain, Flash,etc ? These are men of impeccable talent.
(Jason Summers) I'm not Insinuating anything Reynolds and I wish you would stop trying to put words in my mouth.
(Tony Reynolds) Look I told you what you had to do man, Just go take a break I'll Call the next match by myself and you go to your dressing Room and wash out that Vagina Because it's obvious you've got some Sand in it.
(Jason Summers) Bite me Douche Bigelow.
(Tony Reynolds) *Coughs Sandy Vagina Coughs* Oh excuse me folks I seem to have a Cough, well folks let's move onto our next contest of the night, for the announcement of the contestants let's go to Devon Shire in the ring.
(bell rings)
(Devon Shire) The Following Contest is Scheduled for one fall and is round 1 of the Round Robin Challenge.
("Just Close Your Eyes" by Waterproof Blonde plays)
(Devon Shire) Coming to the ring from Jamaica, Queens, New York weighing in at 240lbs Here is "The Hot Commodity" Marcus K. Yelder!!!!!
(Marcus K Yelder emerges from the back with a no nonsense look on his face, he seems to be on a Mission)
(Tony Reynolds) Once one of the shining gems in the company, Marcus' star has faded a little but he can put himself back on track tonight with a big win here.
(Devon Shire) And his opponent........
(Cowboys from hell by Pantera plays)
(Devon Shire) Hailing from Fort Payne, Alabama, weighing in at a staggering 311lbs, he is the current Xwa hardcore champion of the world, here is Paul Pain!!!!!!!!!
(Paul emerges from behind the curtain to a moderate ovation from the new jersey audience)
(Tony Reynolds) You have to admit folks out of all three of these men, Paul Pain seems like a lock to retain not only his title but to gain the first spot in the chamber match.
(Jason Summers) I don't have to admit anything, other than you suck.
(Tony Reynolds) So what kind of sand is it? Like is it natural sand, or is it like beach sand with shells and stuff in it?
(Jason Summers)............
(Bell rings)
(Tony Reynolds) Here we go folks the bell has rung and this one is underway. Both men come out of their corners and Marcus and Paul lock up. Pain gets the advantage and goes for the arm drag: that's a move I've never seen from Pain before. Mky manages to stay on his feet. Pain charges toward Yelder but Mky gets him with a Kick to the gut, Krypton pushes Pain against the ropes up and whips him in. The hardcore champion comes back off the ropes, Yelder attempts the dropkick but Pain smacks him down to the mat. Pain moves quickly and apply's a boston crab!! and Paul Pain showing this New Jersey crowd his Wrestling ability. Pain digging that crab in deep and Marcus K Yelder is feeling it. Yelder is just inch's from the ropes and is trying to reach them but Pain pulls Yelder to the Center of the ring and reapplies the hold. Marcus K Yelder is in alot of Pain here. Marcus K Yelder starts to inch his way slowly toward the ropes. The 311lb Pain just sitting on the back of Marcus K. Yelder. Yelder reaches for the rope and gets a finger on it and Paul Pain is forced to release the hold, but the damage has been done Marcus K Yelder has been wrecked by Paul Pain. Pain Pulls Yelder to his feet and signals for the end. Pain grabs Yelder by the Throat and lifts him up for the Pain Killer, Yelder floats out and rolls pain up in the small package
1 ........
2 ....................
3!! Yelder wins!!
(The Crowd explodes as "Just Close your eyes by Waterproof Blonde" Plays throughout the arena, Paul Pain is shown with a look of shock on his face as Marcus K Yelder rolls out to the outside of the ring and is Handed the Hardcore title by The Ref)
(Devon Shire) and Your winner of the Match and the New Hardcore champion of the world, here is Marcus K. Yelder!!!!!!
Winner@10:18 and the New Xwa Hardcore champion-Marcus K. Yelder!
(Tony Reynolds) Marcus K Yelder with a big win here tonight!!! not only does he clinch a spot in that ladder match but he also claims the Hardcore title!!!
(Jason Summers) Yeah whatever, he still has to face the Winner of Shane Donovan and Paul Pain Later tonight if he wants to keep that title!
(Tony Reynolds) ah stop hating let the man enjoy his victory! Folks We'll be right back after we pay some bills.
(camera cuts to commercial)
Next Week Live on Malevolence, We Will be Live from the Mecca of Wrestling Madison Square Garden! Synyster and Brandon S Yelder Will Defend their 5 month long reign as champions as They take on the No.1 contenders Xavier Lawless and Curse Coltrane, Marcus K Yelder will face Kriminul in a Non title match that is sure to be exciting as the two former tag team champions exchange holds in the ring. Cruncher will return to action. and much more Tune into Malevolence to catch all the action!
(back to the show)
(Camera shows Brandon S Yelder and Synyster getting ready for their match later on in the night)
(Synyster) Look all I'm saying is you need to calm down man, okay I mean your letting him get in your head.
(Brandon S Yelder) Hey he's not in my head, I just feel the need to let your "boy" know who the best truly is, he's under impression that he is still the heavyweight champion and that he can talk to people any type of way and what about his brother what the hell is going on between you and him anyway man?
(Synyster) Look Brandon, I'd rather not say it's personal leave it at that.
(Brandon S Yelder) My Point exactly what's going on between me and shane montez is very very personal. this has been going on much too long. First of all I'm not good enough to face him, then I'm not good enough for his nutso sister. It must end this bullshit has been going on since Iwf and I refuse to let Shane think he can run The Personal Jesus for even a moment.
(Synyster) All right man, I got your back let's do this. First the montez's next up Coltrane and Lawless, let the Ministry world tour keep going baby.
(Brandon S Yelder) Haha I almost feel sorry for em Syn.
(Synyster) Why?
(Brandon S Yelder) Someone should have told them to Reach out and Touch and Faith!! Let's go
(Synyster and Brandon S. Yelder exit the room as the camera cuts back to the announce desk)
(Tony Reynolds) Seems Brandon S Yelder is all fired up and ready to get his hands on Shane Montez Professor.
(Jason Summers) Yeah well Montez and yelder have been talking crap to each other for the longest time why should this time be any different.
(suddenly a production assistant quickly hands Tony and exits)
(Jason Summers) What's that?
(Tony Reynolds) Something that came just in the nick of time, I had one of the fine young interns go to the local grocery store and get you some things. Lets see we got some Maxi pads for that anal leakage problem......and something in my opinion you have needed immensely tonight..........Vagisal!! There you go Jason so you can finally get that Sand out of your Vag man I know it has really been bothering you.
(Jason Summers) That's it, bite me you can call the rest of the show by your self Reynolds.
(Tony Reynolds) You know Jason I'm beginning to think that sand in your vagina is just something you made up, I think your just an asshole.
(Jason Summers) $%@#!#@$!
(Jason Summers storms off towards the back)
(Tony Reynolds)Wow I'm sorry about that folks, Well it's time for our next match of the night.
(bell rings)
(Devon Shire) The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the Xwa Light-Heavyweight championship.
("Better Than You" by Metallica Plays)
(Devon Shire) Introducing first the Challenger, From the Maryland State Penitentiary weighing in at 175lbs Here is Kriminul!!!!!
(The Crowd cheers wildly as Kriminul makes his way from behind the curtain)
(Tony Reynolds) The former General manager came out of retirement at World War 3 and he personally has called out Ja Killer even going so far as to eliminate the man from the battle royal. Ja Killer has been wanting this match as well he wants Kriminul off of his back as soon as possible.
(Pony by Ginuwine plays)
(Devon Shire) and the champion from Queens, New York weighing in at 235lbs here is Ja Killer!!!!
(The crowd cheers as Ja Killer makes his way from behind the curtain)
(Tony Reynolds) The Champion makes his way toward the ring, this should be some contest both of these men have alot at stake.This one is underway. Krim immediately goes on the defense, blocking a lot of the shots coming from the champion. Ja gets in a couple good shots rocking Krim. Ja Killer whips Krim to the opposite corner and Krim smacks the turnbuckle chest first. Kriminul staggers out of the corner clutching his chest in agony. Ja killer comes off the ropes and blind sides Kriminul with a Brutal Latriat!!! Ja Killer hooks the leg and goes for the pin
1...........................
2........................
Kick out by Kriminul!!!!! Ja Killer would love this one to be over as soon as possible but Kriminul manages to hang on a bit longer. Ja Killer pulls Kriminul to his feet and whips him into the ropes, and he connects with a flying knee to the chops!! Ouch that had to hurt . Ja goes for the cover again but this time he only gets a 1 count as Kriminul manages to slip his leg on the bottom rope. Ja killer perhaps trying to do too much too fast, he clearly forgot to hook the leg. The Champion showing no mercy here in New Jersey. Ja stands up and pulls Kriminul to his feet, he hooks Krim up and connects with the body slam!! Ja drags Kriminul towards the corner and starts to climb the top rope, Ja makes it to the top and jumps off looking for the Leg drop but Kriminul rolls out of the way!!!!!!! and Ja Killer is hurting. Kriminul makes it to his feet and dropkicks Ja right in the face! Kriminul gets to his feet quickly and charges toward the ropes, he springboards off the middle rope and hits the moonsault!!!!
1.......................
2.......................................
Thr-No Ja gets the shoulder up!! Kriminul pulls the champion to his feet and whips him into the corner.Krim bounces off the opposite ropes and connects with a yakuza kick rocking the jaw of the champion. Ja Killer staggers out of the corner in a daze. Kriminul catches the champion with another devasting kick to the jaw! and the champion is on dream street. Kriminul lifts The champion up and nails the Inkriminator! Kriminul covers,
1 ........
2 ........
3! We have a new Light heavyweight champion! Kriminul does it!!!!!
(Better than you by Metallica plays)
(Devon shire) and Your winner and the New Xwa Lightheavyweight champion of the world here is Kriminul!!!!!!!!!
Winner@10:12 and the New Light heavyweight champion Kriminul!!
(Tony Reynolds) Kriminul comes from behind to win the Lw title off of long time champion Ja Killer, what a win for Krim. congratulations to Kriminul for winning a great match.
(Camera shows Mavick and Jason Summers in the catering area)
(Mavick) I'm telling you this unless you wanna work at Walmart for the rest of your damn life, you'll stop being a Jobba!!!!! and Get your ass out there and call those matches with Reynolds. Am I making myself clear?
(Jason Summers) Yes sir
(Mavick) Then why are you still standing here!!!! get your ass back to the booth you tool!!!
(Jason Summers walks away)
(Voice of Tony reynolds) Looks like Mr sandy vagina will be returning to the announcers booth, well check out a humiliated Jason summers right after we pay some bills!
(cuts to commercial)
An American Haunting takes place in the early 1800s when the Bell family of Red River, Tennessee, was visited by a supernatural presence. The entity terrorized the entire family, but paid particular attention to the Bell's youngest daughter, Betsy (Rachel Hurd-Wood). The result was the best-documented and only recorded case in American history where a spirit or entity caused the death of a human being. And now, as another family takes possession of the old Bell house, it's starting all over again. An American Haunting stars Academy Award winner Sissy Spacek and Donald Sutherland.
(back to show)
(Tony Reynolds) Welcome back to Malevolence folks and looked who we've been joined by it seems someone has finally stop being a prick.
(Jason Summers) Look I'm just out here to do my job I'd appreciate it if you left me alone.
(Tony Reynolds) Leave you alone, what are you 15? I'm really sick of arguing with you lets go to the next contest of the night. Paul pain is already in the ring.
(Bell rings)
(Devon shire) The next contest is round 2 of the round robin challenge. this is for the final spot in the Money in the bank ladder match.
(Look to the Orb for the Warning by Monster Magnet begins to play)
(Devon Shire) Coming to the ring first from Oakland, California, weighing in at 310 pounds here is "The New Religion" Shane Donovan!!!
(Shane Donovan makes his way from behind the curtain to a modest ovation from the crowd)
(Tony Reynolds) This should be a pretty evenly match up don't you think so Professor?
(Jason Summers) Both men are are exactly the same size and are only separated by 1lb honestly what's going to make the difference is pure skill.
(Tony Reynolds) Paul Pain is not waiting for the match to begins he slides out of the ring and starts to unload punches into the frame of donovan. Pain drops to his knees and connects with a Low blow!!!!
(Jason Summers) All this is legal Tony, The Bell hasn't rung. and not only is it all legal it's greatness kick his ass Paul!!!
(Tony Reynolds) Okay. Pain is really taking it to Donovan. Pain pulls Donovan to his feet and tosses him into the ring steps!!! Donovan is bleeding he's been cut on the forehead. Pain is just playing with him folks, he seems like he is trying to send a message. Pain is reaching underneath the ring and he pulls out a steel chair.
(Jason summers) Yeah Boy!
(Tony Reynolds) Pain lifts the Chair and begins to smash it into the head of Donovan!!! and Donovan is out cold on the floor. Pain lifts Donovan up and rolls him into the ring. and the ref finally calls for the bell. Pain goes for the cover
1.............
2....................................
3!!!!! and Paul Pain wins!!!!!
Winner@6:18 and the winner of last spot in the Money in the bank ladder match-Paul Pain
(Jason Summers) Yeah after beating the crap out of Shane Donovan with a steel chair and some ring steps.
(Tony Reynolds) I feel bad for Donovan he never really got a chance to get into this thing. looks like a rivalry between Paul Pain and Marcus K Yelder is in full effect.
(The Camera cuts backstage to show Xwa reporter Taka Teriyaki)
(Taka Teriyaki) Hello Ladies and Gentlemen I am Taka Teriyaki filling in for Amy Legacy who seems to have totally disappeared. I'm standing here with the New Xwa Hardcore Champion Marcus K Yelder!
(Mky) Look Jackie Chan I know your new to this but since I'm such a nice guy I will kindly walk you through this. Okay bruce lee?
(Taka Teriyaki) Sure thing...........Ahmed Johnson.(crowd laughs)Now onto my question. Paul Pain just walked all over Shane Donovan he seemed a little angry. Do you think that has something to do with you ending his 8 month reign as hardcore champion?
(MKY) Frankly Pat Morita, I don't care. The era of Marcus Yelder being anybody's back up or jobbing or losing matches is over in fact I dare say to the current champion of this company, You better retire old man because when I win the Money in the bank match I will cash it in and I'm walking out of Ring of Honor not only with the X-division strap but also the World and instant superstardom.
(Suddenly Shane Meadows steps into the camera)
(Shane Meadows) Yo Marcus what's up man?
(Mky)(rolls eyes)Shane how you doing?
(Shane Meadows) I'm doing great, you know I was standing over there and I couldn't help but overhear you making predictions about Ring of Honor. And I thought I overheard you saying that you are going to walk out with all the gold but that can't be because that would mean you would be overlooking me which is just crazy.Right?
(Both men go nose to nose)
(MKY) You know what Shane. I've got a match to prepare for it's the co-main event. How many times have you been in the main event?
(Shane Meadows) I didn't need to be in the main event because everything after my matches means nothing. and you know what Marcus since your declaring you'll never lose again. I'm going to do the same thing and I am extending that of course to our match at Ring of honor.
(Both Mky and Meadows start talking trash to each other just out of audio range until another figure walks into camera range, It's Anthony Montez!)
(Anthony Montez) Oh No!!! Mommy, Daddy stop fighting!!!!(laughs) Look at you two cooky kids .I just wanted to add my two cents into this little disagreement.You two seem to be forgetting about yours truly, so let me remind you of something. I 've beaten both you and I will do again and it's for one simple reason. Because I'm a Montez and you know you can't win. Later kittens
(Anthony Montez walks away as the camera shows Marcus and Shane Meadows giving each other the evil eye)
(Mky) I fucking Hate ANTHONY MONTEZ!!! God Damnit
(distant voice) I Hate you too Marky!!!!!!
(camera cuts back to the announce booth)
(Tony Reynolds) It would seem that Money in the bank match is really starting to heat up.
(Jason Summers) Yeah it looks like that match might steal the show.
(Tony Reynolds) Indeed, well it's onto our next match of the night lets go to Devon Shire.
(Devon Shire) The following contest of the night is for the intercontinental title!!!
(Stricken" By Disturbed plays)
(Devon Shire)Introducing the challenger from Lexington, Kentucky weighing in at 265lbs he is the XWA SUPERMAN!!!! KRYPTONITE-X!!!
(K-X Emerges from behind the curtain to a chorus of boos from the crowd)
(Tony Reynolds) K-x getting a less than warm welcome from this New Jersey crowd..oh lookout folks K-x has a microphone.
(Kryptonite-X) Well well if it isn't the toilet of New York, East Rutherford, New Jersey!!!!!!
(crowd boos)
(Kryptonite-X) You people have the pleasure of witnessing a great event as K-x will capture his first title since his return to Wrestling, cause I am going to kick the shit out of Flash!!!
(The Crowd suddenly erupts as From The Inside by Depswa plays)
(Devon Shire) And the Introducing the Champion from Dallas,Texas weighing in at 265lbs here is The Charismatic Assassin" FLASH!!!!!
(Flash emerges from behind the curtain to a huge ovation from the crowd)
(Tony Reynolds) Here comes the Intercontinental champion maybe he can shut K-X's mouth!! Flash makes it to the ring and hands Referee Mark Davies the title. Davies holds the title up for the whole arena to see. The ref calls for the bell and this one is underway. Kryptonite-X and Flash circle each other in the center of the ring and hook up. Both men are struggling to get the advantage.
(Jason Summers) They are so evenly matched Physically, I can see why.
(Tony Reynolds) K-X manages to get the advantage and gets the champion in a headlock. K-X drops to one knee and jabs his fingers into the eyes of Flash. What a dirty move! Flash is blinded, K-x backs up against the ropes and charges forward and connects with a clothesline!!! K-X living up to his dubious reputation, using underhanded tactics. K-X pulls flash to his feet and shoves him in the corner. K-X begins to disrespect Flash with a Slap to the face!!! Flash takes exception and gets in a eye gouge of his own. Flash reverses and tosses K-X into the corner and begins to Unload a Series of chops to the chest of the Self proclaimed Xwa Superman!!!! Flash grabs K-X and hips tosses him out of the corner!!!! Flash bounces off the ropes and connects with a Shining Wizard!!! K-x is out and Flash goes for the pin
1.....................................
2...................................................
Kick out By K-X!!!!! Flash only gets the 2 and 1/2. Flash pulls K-x to his feet and whips him into the ropes, K-X comes back off the ropes and flash goes for the Lariat and K-X ducks it!!! K-X gets behind flash and hits him with Back Suplex!!! What a devastating move! Both men are down, but K-X is moving. K-X crawls to the ropes and manages to pull himself to his feet. K-x Walks over toward Flash and kicks the champion in the head!!!! Come on ref watch him!!
(Jason Summers) This guy is great!!!
(Tony Reynolds) K-X pulls Flash to his feet and whips him into the ropes, Flash comes back and K-X connects with the tilt-a-whirl slam! K-X goes for the cover
1.................................
2..................................................
Flash manages to get his foot on the rope!! K-X is not happy in the least bit!!! K-X stands up and tries to pull Flash up with him. Flash grabs K-X by the tights and rolls him up in the small package.
1...........................................
2.......................................
Kick out by K-X!!!!!!! Flash beats K-X to the punch and connects with a leg drop to the back of the head!!!! K-X is in trouble folks. Flash pulls K-X to his feet and hooks him up; looks like Flash is going to put this one away. Flash Lifts K-X up and hits the Falcon Arrow!!!!!!!! That's it K-X Is Done!!!
(Suddenly Curse Coltrane makes his way out of the crowd and jumps up on the ring apron!!!!)
(Tony Reynolds) Get that ass hole off the ring apron!!!!, Flash has Coltrane by the neck and cracks him in the head with a Vicious right hand sending coltrane to the floor below. Wait.........K-X is moving he sneaks up behind Flash and hits him with the low blow!!!!!!!!! K-X gets back to his feet. he kicks Flash in the gut and connects with the X-Downfall!!!!!! K-X goes for the cover
1....................................
2.............................................
3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And thanks to other than honorable methods, Kryptonite-X Has Won the Intercontinental Championship!!!!!
Winner@20:12 and The NEW Intercontinental Champion-Kryptonite-X!!
(Tony Reynolds) Kryptonite-X has captured the IC title by screwing over Flash!!1
(Jason Summers) K-X Rocks!!!!! that was funny as hell!!!
(Tony Reynolds) That was a goddamn disgrace!!! I can't wait till Flash gets his proper rematch!!!!! wait I understand we have a commotion going on in the back lets cut backstage!!!
(The Camera cuts Backstage to show Shane Donovan standing over someone with a pipe in his hands)
(Shane Donovan) Paybacks a bitch ain't it Motherfucker!!!
(Donovan spits on his victim and runs out of camera range as he sees security coming)
(Tony Reynolds) Oh My god that's Paul Pain!!! Pain is down!!!! That match was next!!
(Jason Summers) Not any more!!!
(Tony Reynolds) Folks We're going to take out Final Commercial break and try to sort this out We'll be right back!!!
(Commercial Break)
The X-Men, mutant heroes sworn to defend a world that hates and fears them, are back! This time, with the help of new recruits The Beast and Angel, they must face evolution itself in the form of their former teammate, Jean Grey. Possessed with the cosmic power of the Dark Phoenix, the resurrected Jean Grey has become a danger to herself, her mutant comrades, and the entire planet. To stave off this imminent threat to humanity, a potential cure is discovered and processed to treat -- and ultimately eliminate -- genetic mutations, once and for all. Now, as the battle lines are drawn, the X-Men, led by Professor Charles Xavier, must contend with both Jean Grey's world-consuming powers, as well as the malevolent Brotherhood, a band of powerful mutants organized under Xavier's former ally, Magneto. Will The X-men Win the day or is the future doomed?
(Back to show)
(Tony Reynolds) Welcome back folks, it has be decided that due to the actions of Shane Donovan the Marcus K Yelder-Paul Pain Match will not occur. However Since Mr Donovan's action resulted in the match not occurring he will have the pleasure of Facing Mr. Pain next week in a tag team match, get this as the stipulation Both men choose each other's partner.
(Jason Summers) Yeah baby that's what I'm talking about
(Ominous Music plays while the Steel Cage is lowered)
(Tony Reynolds) Guess what time it is Professor?
(Jason Summers) Time for you to drop dead of blue balls?
(Tony Reynolds) No you tool it's time for the Main Event!!!!!
(Bell Rings)
(Devon Shire) The following contest is the Main event and it is a Steel Cage match. You can win the match 3 ways Climbing over the cage and dropping to the floor, Pinfall or exiting the cage door.
(Suddenly, a familiar riff is heard and the lyrics start to play)
Your own personal Jesus;
Someone who hears your prayers, someone who cares.
Your own personal Jesus;
Someone who hears your prayers, someone who’s there.
(Devon Shire) Coming to the ring first weighing in at a combined weight of 564 pounds, They are the Xwa World Tag Team Champions. Here is the Team of Brandon S. Yelder and Synyster they are The MINISTRY!!!!!
(Brandon S. and Synyster makes their way from behind the curtain and head straight for the cage)
(Tony Reynolds) The Tag Team champions are ready to handle business as usual Professor.
(Jason Summers) This will be one for the ages
(Devon Shire) and Their Opponents......
(Wings of a Butterfly" by H.I.M. Plays)
(Devon Shire) Weighing in at a Combined weight of 480 Pounds, Here is the team of Anthony Montez and "The Sensational Shooter" Shane Montez!!!!
(The Montez's make their way from behind the curtain and walk confidently towards the ring)
(The ref locks the cage door and calls for the bell)
(Tony Reynolds) The Bell has rung and this one is underway. and here we are folks all four men are exchanging blows in the ring, Synyster and Anthony are going at, as is Shane and Yelder. Synyster with the weight advantage picks Anthony off the ground and tosses him into the cage wall. Bsy kicks Shane in the gut and hits a DDT and The tag team champions are in control! Bsy pulls Shane to his feet and whips him toward the cage and Shane hits his head. Bsy charges Shane but Montez sees him coming and trips Bsy sending him into the cage wall!!! Shane Montez goes for the pin
1.............
2.....................
Broken up by Synyster who makes the save!!!! Synyster pulls Shane to his feet. It looks like Syn is going for a pile driver but out of nowhere comes Anthony Who connects with the Wave of the future!!!!!!!!. Bsy is still down and Synyster could really use his help right now. Anthony up on his feet walks toward a befallen Brandon S and applies the future Finish, That brutal Rear naked choke!! Shane Montez walks toward Synyster and attempts to pull him to his feet but Synyster grabs him by the throat!!!! Synyster on one knee rises up and lifts Shane Montez up and slams him to the mat with The Pride!!!!!!
(Jason Summers) I knew this match would get brutal but good lord.
(Tony Reynolds) Synyster Charges toward Bsy and Anthony and pulls "The Future" off of Bsy. Synyster shoves Anthony into the corner and starts to unload a series of chops to the chest of the youngest montez!!! Synyster pulls Anthony out of the corner and hooks him up for the Sloth! He lifts Anthony up but Anthony struggles and manages to reverse it into a sunset flip!
1.......................
2........................
Synyster kicks out at 2 and 1/2!!!! Brandon gets to his feet, and tries to climb the cage he's moving up the side with a break neck pace , but here comes Shane Montez; he 's grabs the leg of Yelder!!! Yelder is trying his damnest to kick Shane off but Shane is holding onto his leg like a rabid dog!!! Shane Montez manages to maneuver himself underneath Brandon and powerbombs Bsy to the mat!!!!! Synyster has locked in the Koji clutch and Anthony Montez is in a world of trouble!! The Screams of Anthony Montez can be heard all over East Rutherford!!! here comes salvation in the form of Shane Montez who drops a leg drop across the neck of synyster forcing him to release the deadly submission hold. Shane and Anthony get to their feet and start to climb the cage! Shane is having trouble but Anthony is moving very quickly. Anthony is near the top but wait it's Bsy, he's a little less recognizable due to the massive amounts of blood pouring out of him at this moment folks, but he has climbed up that cage and he and Anthony are exchanging punches on top of the cage. Down below Synyster slowly rises to his feet, He looks up at BSY and Anthony and looks on in horror as his tag partner is in the fight of his life. Syn looks behind him and Sees Shane Montez and pulls him down off the cage. Montez throws a punch but Synyster ducks it and puts Shane on his back with a european uppercut!!! Synyster is walking toward the door of the cage, I think he's got this one wrapped up folks.
(Synyster is about to walk through the cage door to the when Shane pops up and German suplex's Synyster back into the ring)
(Tony Reynolds) My god!! Shane Montez comes out of nowwhere and hits Synyster with the desperation German suplex!!! Yelder and Anthony are still fighting up top. Anthony is Smaller and has the advantage on top of cage which is Narrow. Anthony gets in a good left shot. Bsy seems rocked. Anthony throws out another punch but Bsy blocks it. Bsy kicks Anthony in the gut and hooks him up!!!! Yelder lifts him up and falls back in toward the ring and connects with the B.Y.O.B!!!!!!!! OH MY LORD!!!!
(Crowd Holy Shit, Holy shit, Holy Shit)
(Jason Summers) Dear Sweet god neither one of them is moving!!!
(Tony Reynolds) Montez is up on his feet as is Synyster. The Two "old" friends meet in the center of the ring and start dueling toe to toe. Montez gets the advantage with a thumb to the eye,he kicks Synyster in the gut and connects with the Sensational Spike! Shane falls to the ground he must be so drained folks, Montez crawls toward the cage door and falls to the Outside and Shane and Anthony Montez have defeated the tag team champions!!!
(Superman March" by John Williams Plays)
(Devon Shire) and Your winners of the match here is the Team of the Sensational Shooter" Shane Montez and "The Future" Anthony Montez!!!!!
Winners@38:23-Anthony and Shane Montez!!
(Tony Reynolds) What a match that was folks. Somehow I don't think this match is the end of the Ministry vs the empire.
(Jason Summers) Oh I Agree I still can't believe Bsy did that move that was sick!
(Tony Reynolds) Indeed despite that amazing move, The Empire is walking out of East rutherford with a victory over the tag champions. well Folks That's a night for us. For Jason Summers and the rest of the Xwa Staff I'm tony Reynolds, Saying good night, good fight!
(Camera fades to black)