Dark Match
"The Rage" Christopher Paige 1st default for Chris paige(def) Vs Chris Van Dam 2nd for Chris van dam one more and he will be released from the Xwa (def)
Dark Match
King Ghoul (11/15) defeats The Puppet Master "Matt Elliott"(4/15) and Darkside (def) One more default and Darkside is released for the Xwa.
Dark Match
Ian Roxx and Ja Killer (22/30) Defeat Brian Norton & Vinny Gambino(16/30)
De
In Memory Of John "Earthquake" Tenta And Catherine F. Penny and Father's all over the world.
Though your gone....You will forever be in our hearts. Rest in peace.
(Camera opens with Curse Coltrane standing in a corn field. He's carrying a huge jug, and when he sees the Camera he drops a suspicious looking cigarette. Jericho Kane walks up to him holding a large jug as well. They are wearing their Tag titles.)
Jericho Kane: Boy Curse, you wasn't lying about this hooch!!! SHIT!!!! This is like the stuff back home!!!
Curse: Thanks man. Your sticky icky magic grass wasn't too shabby either. Jerry ol' pal. I am sure am glad I didn't turn on ya.
Jericho: You was gonna turn on me?
Curse: Um, yeah, you're not pissed are ya?
Jericho: Nah dude, hell, I was gonna turn on your ass!!!
(They both laugh.)
Curse: Say Jerry Cocaine, let's ditch this place, take the Whoresmen jet back to Louisville, and see some titties what do ya say?
Jericho: The jet? I thought it was tore up. That's why I had to drive a rental car from West Virginia to this shit-hole place.
Curse: Man, I was fuckin with ya. Its sitting in Stuart Powell airport right now!!!
Jericho: You ass-hat!! Alright, let's go champ!!
Curse: Sure thing, Champ!!
Jericho: Say, wasn't we supposed to say something about defending the belts or something to this camera crew?
Curse: screw it, we ain't got time now. The Titties await!!!
(Curse and Kane walk towards a barn as the camera fades to black. The Camera opens up and scans over the Detroit Crowd as the Crowd cheers wildly)
(Tony Reynolds) We are LIVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVE From the Cobo Arena in the Heart of the Motor City!!! I Am Tenacious Tony Reynolds and Right beside as always is the Harold to my Kumar, The Cheech to my Chong, the Ass to my Thong, The Professor of Wrestling Jason Summers!!!
(Jason Summers) TONY, TONY, TONY what a show we have tonight!!! It's only a few days before Ring Of Honor II and the Cobo is about to explode!!!!!
(Tony Reynolds) Oh Hell Yes Detroit is the last stop on the road to Ring of Honor, Tonight's card is a blockbuster, Kryptonite-X will defend his Intercontinental Championship for the first time ever against the former champion Flash!!
(Jason Summers) Marcus K Yelder and Curse Coltrane, two of the participants in that Money in the bank match coming up at Ring of Honor will collide.
(Tony Reynolds) and in our main event Blood lust will over take Detroit as Brandon S Yelder and Synyster Seek revenge against Shane Montez and his Tag team partner and family member Anthony in a Falls Count Anywhere, Gang Warfare match. Not to mention tonight is the Contract signing of a century as Cruncher and Masked Genius will sign on the dotted line for the Main Event to Ring of Honor II for the World title.
(Jason Summers) Man this show is going to be Gangbusters!!
(Tony Reynolds) Oh Yes sir, INDEED!! Guess what time it is Professor?
(Jason Summers) Time for me to be like Shaft and stop letting the man get me down?
(Tony Reynolds) No. It's time for our first match of the night!!! Lets go to the ring!!
(Jason Summers) You the Man Tony (snickers)
(Tony Reynolds) Ah thanks man
(Bell rings)
The Man Called Reign Vs Tara London
Singles Match
(Devon Shire) The first contest of the night is scheduled for one fall Introducing first already in the ring from Wixom, Michigan, here is Tara London!!!!!
(crowd reacts mildly)
(Holy By Pain begins to play)
(Devon Shire) And her opponent from Oakland, California,being accompanied to the Ring by Jasmine Skyy, Here is The Man Called Reign!!!!!!
(Reign and Jasmine Skyy emerge from behind the curtain to a mixed reaction from the crowd, Jasmine jumps up on the ring apron and props open the ropes for her man who enters the ring with a Sickening smile on his face)
(Tony Reynolds) The man called Reign, number 4 on the Insanity soundtrack that is the life of Skitso wrestler Shane Donovan.
(Jason Summers) Shane Donovan...excuse me I mean Reign has never played with a full deck but Reign is well known as being one of his more violent Persona's.
(Tony Reynolds) This is going to be a long night for Tara London.
(Bell rings)
(Tony Reynolds) This one is underway. I wondered who booked this match.
(Jason Summers) Obviously someone not to fond of Tara London.
(Tony Reynolds) Reign and London meet in the center of ring and Lockup. Reign easily gets the advantage and tosses London halfway across the ring!!!!
(Jason Summers) Woo this is not going to be a long night for London...this is going to be a short one concluding in a spinal cord injury.
(Tony Reynolds) Reign is just taunting London daring her to get to her feet. London climbs to her feet and is cut down by a clothesline from Reign!
(Jason Summers) he is just tormenting her, he's playing with her.
(Tony Reynolds) and this Detroit crowd is not happy with Reign's Actions. Reign lifts London to her feet and looks like he is going for a flapjack, he tosses her up and spears her to the ground!!!! My god Reign is showing no mercy what so ever! Reign has a sickening look on his face folks. He really seems to be enjoying this quite a bit. London is out cold on the mat folks and Reign is just toying with her. Reign lifts London to her feet and powers her up and connects with the Jackhammer!!! Reign mercifully goes for the pin
1...........................
2.........................
3!!!! Thank god it's over!!
Winner@1:18-The Man Called Reign
(Tony Reynolds) Reign is a cold bloodied son of a bitch, but he picks up the win easily.
(Jason Summers) Tony the word squash can no longer properly describe what Reign just did to London in that wrestling ring. That has to be the Shortest Match in Xwa history.
(Tony Reynolds) At a Minute and 18 seconds I wouldn't be surprised at all if that was true.
(Camera cuts backstage to Show Taka Teriyaki)
(Taka Teriyaki) This is Xwa's Number one Asian Sensation Taka TERIIIIIIIYAKI and I'm standing here with Shawn Shamrock. Shawn you have a big match coming up next for the number one contendership to the Intercontinental title, what's your game plan.
(Shawn Shamrock) The Excellent one will simply crush all who come before him. I face mere peons tonight. I'm Shawn Shamrock, I'm built like a Tank and hit like Missile. Look at me, I'm a modern marvel of man, easily one of the ninth wonders of the world. The Excellent one is walking into that ring and is walking out with a shot at Kryptonite-X. and K-X let me tell you right now, your title already belongs to me. This Interview is over, later Charlie Chan
(Shamrock walks out of camera range)
(Tony Reynolds) The Number one contendership to the ic title right after this commercial break!
(Cuts to commercial)
Following a mysterious absence of several years, the Man of Steel comes back to Earth in the epic Superman Returns. While an old enemy plots to render him powerless once and for all, Superman faces the heartbreaking realization that the woman he loves, Lois Lane, has moved on with her life. Or has she? Superman's bittersweet return challenges him to bridge the distance between them while finding a place in a society that has learned to survive without him. In an attempt to protect the world he loves from cataclysmic destruction, Superman embarks on an epic journey of redemption that takes him from the depths of the ocean to the far reaches of outer space.
(commercial ends)
(Camera cuts to the announce desk)
Intercontinental title number #1 contendership
Shawn Shamrock Vs Aaron Willis Vs Amy Suicide Vs Jericho Kane Vs The Executioner.
(Tony Reynolds) Welcome back folks, It's time for the next contest of the night most of the contestants are already in the ring, lets go to Devon shire for the final entrance
( the camera cuts to Devon Shire)
(Devon Shire) Coming to the ring last...
( The Rebel Flag comes over the Xtremeatron, with the Thrillbillies' logo on it, as "The South's Gon' Do It Again" by Charlie Daniels Band plays)
(Devon Shire) From Beaver Lick, Kentucky weighing in at 230lbs, he is one half of the Xwa Tag team champions!!! Here is the Thrillbilly Jericho Kane!!!!!!!
(The Crowd pops as Jericho Kane emerges from behind the curtain and heads to the ring)
(Tony Reynolds) Kane is beaming folks, after all last week he pulled off one of the biggest upset's ever alongside Curse Coltrane.
(Jason Summers) Yeah about that, I have it on good authority that the Ministry will be demanding their rematch very soon.
(Bell rings)
(Tony Reynolds) Hopefully when that happens it'll be as good as the last match. The Bell has rung and this one is underway. Suicide and Willis the smaller of the contestants hook up. Shawn Shamrock rolls to the outside, and Executioner and Jericho Kane start throwing hands in the center of the ring. Executioner takes control early over Jericho with a Full Nelson. Executioner digs it in deep on Kane, Forcing Kane to one knee. Kane seems to be fading fast, but here comes Shawn Shamrock who levels both men with a clothesline. Amy Suicide is thrown into the ropes by Willis, Suicide comes back off the ropes and goes airborne taking willis to the mat with a dropkick to the face. Suicide stays on Willis, She gets to her feet quickly and runs toward the ropes and springboards off the middle rope and connects with a Modified Version of the Final Release! Suicide goes the pin
1....................
2..........................
Willis kicks out!!! On the other side of the ring Jericho Kane is getting double teamed by the Executioner and Shamrock. Shamrock and Ex pull Kane to his feet and lift him up and connect with a double powerbomb, Ex goes for the cover
1....................
2..............................
3!!!!! Jericho Kane has been eliminated. Shamrock and Ex continuing to work together charge toward Suicide and Willis and Level them. Shamrock tosses Sucicide to the outside and follows after her . Executioner keeps Willis at bay. Executioner pulls Willis to his feet and whips him into the ropes, Executioner bounces off the ropes and on the comeback kicks Willis in the midsection and drives his knee into the side of his head! Executioner is dominating.Executioner has a rear waist lock and attempts a German suplex, but Willis fights it, Willis catches Ex with a elbow to the stomach, Willis lifts Executioner up on his shoulders, and connects with the Ultimate Spiderslam!!! Willis goes for the cover
1..............
2...................
3!!!! The Executioner has been eliminated from the match!!! Aaron Willis comes from behind and eliminates The Executioner!. Suicide and Shamrock are going at it on the outside of the ring. Shamrock grabs Suicide by the throat and tosses her up against the guardrail. Shamrock lifts Suicide up and drives a knee right into her solar plexis. Shamrock dominate thus far folks. Aaron Willis is in the ring he grabs the top rope and slingshots himself over the top onto Shamrock and Suicide below!!!! All three are hurt but the smallest of the three Suicide took the brunt of it. Willis manages to make to his feet first, but loses his balance and grabs the bottom rope for support. Willis walks toward Suicide and lifts her to her feet and whips her with as much strength as possible into the ring steps and she hits knee first!!! Amy Suicide taking all kinds of damage in this one. Willis is celebrating his minor victory over Suicide but Shawn Shamrock has made it to his feet. Shamrock comes up from behind Willis and crack's him good across the back with the Polish Hammer!! Shamrock really the aggressor here tonight. Shamrock lifts Willis back to his feet and powers him up with ease and tosses him back in the ring. Shamrock climbs into the ring and continues his assault on Willis. Shamrock pulls Willis to his feet and connects with an uppercut sending Willis staggering backwards into the corner.
(Jason Summers) This match will come to an end for Willis if he doesn't get some offense going here Tony.
(Tony Reynolds) Indeed, Shamrock just continues to bring the pain to Willis, Shamrock is rocking Willis with fists to the midsection. Shamrock pulls Willis out of the corner and whips him into the ropes, Willis comes back off the ropes and ducks the clothesline on the comeback and comes out the otherside. Wiliis bounces off the ropes again and charges toward Shamrock and attempts the Crossbody but Shamrock catches him in midair. Shamrock powers him up with ease and Drops him to the mat with the Excella-Bomb!!!
1.................
2...............
3!!!!!!! Aaron Willis has been eliminated and Shawn Shamrock is making his presence known to these fans in Detroit. Shamrock rolls to the outside and walks confidently towards the fallen Amy Suicide. He goes to grab her and she catches him off guard with a Kick to the face that stuns the big man. Suicide moves like a cat and takes off back into the ring to avoid the power that is Shawn Shamrock. Shamrock climbs back on the apron looking for a little revenge, Suicide sees him on the apron and dropkicks him back down to the floor!!! Shamrock has a look on his face that could kill. Shamrock charges the ring and goes right after Suicide. Shamrock manages to push her into the corner and he attempts the splash in the corner, Suicide sees him coming and pulls out the Miltary roll to avoid the attack. Suicide gets to her feet and connects with another dropkick sending Shamrock Chest first into the turnbuckle. Shamrock stumbles backwards and Suicide catches him off guard and rolls him up in the school boy
1...................
2................................
3!!!!!!!!! Suicide is the new number one contender!!!
Winner@10:12-And The New #1 Contender to the Intercontineal title-Amy Suicide
(Tony Reynolds) Amy Suicide pulls this one out and now she has an oppertunity to Challenge K-X for the Ic title.
(Jason Summers) Shawn Shamrock got cheated she grabbed the tights.
(Tony Reynolds) Oh come off it Jason She won the match fair and square, Stop Playa hatin.
(Jason Summers) Oh aren't we urban? I might as call you 2 pac Tony huh? Tony your about as Gangsta as Celine Dion.
(Tony Reynolds) Hey I'm down, I'm hip
(Jason Summers) Your knowledge of rapping consist of standing in line at Walmart come Christmas time.
(Tony Reynolds) Whatever Jason, Folks I understand we have Taka Teriyaki standing by backstage. Taka take it away.
(The Camera shows Taka Teriyaki standing backstage)
(Taka Teriyaki) Thank you Tony, This is Taka Teriyaki Telling you all my love is like Whoa!!. Tony I'm standing here backstage again with the infamous whoresmen of wrestling
(Zortis Seacrest walks into the camera shot and snatches the microphone out of Taka's hands)
(Zortis Seacreast) We here at Whoresmen Idol, would like to thank the good people at the hilton for putting us up free of charge in the beautiful city of Royal Oak, Michigan, god knows if we had to stay here in the Shitty of Detroit that we could have been one of two million people raped or murdered in this city everyday!!
(Crowd heard chanting Fuck you)
(Zortis Seacreast) Anyway lets move on, lets introduce our judges, Hookers and bastards let me introduce to you First , he is the Reigning Intercontineal champion of the world, Kryptonite Jackson!!!!!
(crowd boos)
(Kryptonite Jackson) Hey Zortis watch when you go to the bathroom, make sure you wear gloves, god knows in this shit heap of a city you can catch Aids just by taking a piss, DOG!!!
(Crowd boos wildly)
(Zortis Seacrest) Thanks for the advice there KJ. Our next judge has the face only a mother could love, which is okay since her mother and her do it all the time, Ladies and gentlemen PAULA COLTRANE!!!!
(The Camera shows Curse Coltrane in a Dress wearing makeup and a brutal 5 o clock shadow, drunk as hell)
(Paula Coltrane) Could you people shut the *beep* up damn, It's not enough you have to talk why I'm watching the movie but you have to yell when I've got a damn Hangover!!!
(Zortis Seacrest) Congratulations Paula your slightly less pathetic than less week's show. And Now folks the leader of the whoresmen and the man who cost The Ministry the tag team titles and loved every minute of it......... Shooter Cowell.
(Zortis and the Whoresmen clap)
(Shooter Cowell) Thank you,Thank you, I enjoyed every minute of it, because no matter how big Brandon thinks he is , I'm just that much Bigger. No matter how good he thinks he is I'm Greater. That's why I'm the shooter and he's my Bitch!
(Zortis Seacrest) Well said their Shooter, I guess wearing that tight ass shirt gives you some balls huh?
(Shooter Cowell) Don't make me kick your ass Zortis.
(Zortis) Alright lets move on. Our next Contestant hails fromNew Haven, Michigan and he is a nobody haha Ladies and Gentlemen Chris Van Dam!!!!
(Chris Van Dam) Hey guess What I'm Chris VAN DAM (rips off rvd's finger pointing)
(Zortis Seacrest) Hey Chris guess what , YOUR A TOOL, look sunshine, Just sing
(The camera gets a close up of Van dam's face)
(Chris Van Dam) Okay cool, (clears throat) When dreaming I'm guided through another world Time and time againnnnnnn, At sunrise I fight to stay asleep 'Cause I don't want to leave the comfort of this placeeeeeee 'Cause there's a hunger, a longing to escapeeee From the life I live when I'm awakeeeeeee So let's go there Let's make our escape Come on, let's go there Let's ask can we stayyyyyyyyyyyy? Can you take me higher?
(Suddenly a boot comes out of nowhere and kicks Van dam in the jaw knocking him to the ground, the camera pulls out to show Kryptonite Jackson)
(Shooter Cowell) Damnit Chris we wait til after they stop singing and then we make fun of them and then beat the crap out of them.
(Kryptonite-X) Screw that Shane, He was singing Creed man, Hell no, not on my watch, 2 of my 16 kids could be watching they don't need to be exposed to Christian rock!!!
(Curse Coltrane just laughs)
(Curse Coltrane) Yeah Creed does suck.
(Shooter Cowell) Well you've already beaten down the jobber, so lets go prepare for our match's and since he squashed our entertainment for tonight Guess who's buying the drinks!!
(Kryptonite Jackson) Oh fine whatever Moheato's on Me and hopefully a couple strippers, there has got to be a gold club around here somewhere.
(The Camera pans down to show Van Dam on the ground out cold as the Whoresmen Idol sign comes up and the screen fades to commercial)
(Commercial Break)
ECW RETURNS WITH XTREME VENGANCE TUESDAYS AT 10PM Only on The SciFi Channel!
(Commercial ends)
(Tony Reynolds) Welcome back folks, Synyster is in the ring.
(Camera cuts to Synyster in the ring)
(Synyster) You know Last Week I issued a challenge, an open challenge to somebody who is simply put the biggest coward I've ever known, and just like a Coward he no showed, in fact his number suddenly became disconnected, so whatever, Yelder you can duck me all you want after all you've been doing it your entire career, so I've decided to move onto bigger and better things. A few months back I won the Sheik cup and earned myself a title shot anytime I want, whenever I want, in any match I choose. So Ring of Honor II is coming up next week and I thought to myself what is a better time to use it then right then and there. So right after Masked Genius and Cruncher are done beating the crap out of each other, whatever left is going to have to pay the price for their Syn's. They will have to deal with yours truly, and when the smoke is cleared....well let's just say they'll be a new world's champion!!!
(Crowd boos)
Voice of a Child: As I lay me down to sleep....
(suddenly the arena goes Pitch Black and thunder claps throughout the arena)
... And If I die before I wake....
...I give unto my Saviour thy soul to take.....
....repent and thou shall be saved....
....repent and thou shall be saved....
(A Blast Comes from the stage)
(Skillet by Saviour begins to play)
(The crowd explodes in applause as the Lights suddenly come up and Terrell Yelder emerges from underneath the entrance ramp)
(Tony Reynolds) HE"S HERE!!! TERRELL YELDER IS HERE!!!!
(Jason Summers) Holy SHit!!
(The Camera cuts to a shot of Synyster in the ring who is beaming the evil eye at Terrell, Terrell shoots the look right back at Synyster and a smile begins to form, Yelder begins to walk slowly toward the ring, every step seems like to echo through the Cobo Arena, Yelder climbs between the ring ropes and climbs the top turnbuckle and soaks in all the cheers from the Detroit Crowd)
(Tony Reynolds) Boxing has Marvelous Marvin Hagler, Basketball has Doctor J, But wrestling fans Have Terrell Yelder who has made a surprising return here tonight!!!
(Terrell Yelder) Cut The Music
(The Music cuts out and the crowd can be heard chanting Yelder's gonna kill you, over and over, Synyster seems unphased but a Camera shows Synyster Holding the microphone so tightly a droplet of blood falls from his hand)
(Terrell Yelder) (Looks at Synyster) You rang? (crowd laughs) ah Synyster,The Chicago Cubs to my New york Yankees, The Bret hart to my Shawn Micheals, Bitter and Broken, damn, man Why are you such a glutton for punishment. I mean you lose to two inferior beings like Coltrane and Kane and you dare call out the Saviour!! tsk tsk tsk, Syn I'm surprised at you. You know better than to tempt the lord. How many times have I beaten you in every way. ZWA, IWF, Rebellion. Look I just Came out here in stunning fashion as only I can do it, to tell you no, No I'm not going to give you a chance. I've given you several chances already and quite frankly I'm sick and tired of beating your ass.
(Synyster) Hello Terrell, I'm glad your here, See I think it's time we be frank with each other, you know I figured you would be come . After all you can't resist the urge to be on tv for one minute, I mean just the mention of your name makes your jimmy hard. That's what your legacy will be ultimately, an out of control ego maniac who thinks he's god's gift to the sport.
(Terrell Yelder) and you know what will be yours ultimately, is that your the guy who could never beat him
(Crowd ooooooooooo)
(Synyster) That will change if you show up to ring of honor.
(Terrell Yelder) Why? What makes this time different, huh what makes this different from all the other times I've beat your ass huh? I tell you nothing, No Syn, There's a song I listen to every now and then, the lyrics are as follows, You can't always get what you want, You can't always get you want, but if you try sometimes, you might find, you get what you need. Maybe you need to get over this. I'm not wrestling anymore, I got nothing else to prove to anyone espescially some dude who can't even give me a challenge. Syn it's over, let it go, you look pathetic and desperate, This is over I'm done,See you later syn
(Terrell drops the microphone and begans to walk away)
(Synyster) Your mother's a whore who keeps her legs open 24/7
(crowd gasps)
(Jason Summers) Oh no he didn't just insult mama Yelder!!
(Terrell pauses for a moment, and smiles and keeps going, he begins to walk up the entrance ramp)
(Synyster) Come on Terrell what's it got to take?, I know..Maybe I should pay a Little Visit to your little girl, what do you think about that?
(Terrell Yelder stops dead in his tracks)
(Synyster) Oh so that's the button to push huh? What's wrong Daddy I go to far? Turn around Terrell, look at me. LOOK AT ME DAMNIT!
(Yelder turns around and simply stares Synyster down)
(Synyster) If it's so easy for you to defeat me, if you can truly do it with no effort at all, then what are you worried about? If you were as good as you claim to be then show up at Ring Of Honor and let's do this. Come on "Legend" Let's give them a show.
(Terrell Yelder looks at Synyster in the ring and simply turns around and walks away)
(Tony Reynolds)Jason, Synyster I think he just got his answer.
(Jason Summers) It's just because Yelder is too much of a chicken *beep* to go through with it. legend Pftt not in my book.
(Tony Reynolds) Professor, what do you want from him, I mean Yeah I would like to see the match , but like Yelder said he has done it all he doesn't have anything to prove to anyone.
(Jason Summers) Two Words Tony, Chicken *beep*
(Tony Reynolds) Ugh whatever, folks we'll be right back with our next contest of the night right after we pay some bills.
(Commercial Break)
It's Here Ring Of Honor II: All Guts, All Glory Live From the Skydome in Toronto, Ontario Canada. Who Will be the World Champion after Ring of Honor?
Watch Ring Of Honor only on Pay Per View!!!!
(back to the show)
(Camera shows Terrell Yelder and his daughter walking toward the parking lot area when Amy Legacy approaches them)
(Amy Legacy) (out of breathe from running) Mr Yelder wait!!
(Terrell Yelder) Yeah?
(Amy Legacy) Are you really going to leave it like that? and not show up at Ring of Honor?
(Terrell Yelder) Of course not, The minute the man dared called me out I had every intention of whupping his ass one more time. don't you know who the hell I am.
(Amy Legacy) Wait....I don't understand why tell him your not going to show up if you are.
(Terrell Yelder) Simply cause I can, just like that I can do what I want, when i want to. (looks into the camera) You got that Synyster, i do what i want when I want, that means I can beat you anytime, anywhere, at any minute, I choose. You think your in control,when the truth is I've already won the match. I'll see at Ring of Honor later bitch.
(Camera shows the announce desk)
(Tony Reynolds) Oh professor looks like we'll have a fight on our hands at Ring of Honor!
(Jason Summers) Okay so maybe he isn't a total chicken *beep*
(Tony Reynolds) Oh lord, lets go to Devon Shire to announce the start of the next match.
(camera cuts to Devon Shire)
(Devon Shire) The following contest of the night is scheduled for one fall.
(Jesus Walks by Kanye West begins to play)
(Devon Shire) Coming to the ring first from Newark, New Jersey, weighing in at 245lbs, making his return to Malevolence, Dejesus Christ Superstar!!
(Crowd boos as Dejesus makes his way out from behind the curtain)
(Tony Reynolds) Dejesus could make a comeback tonight if he can manage to get the win over the Lightheavyweight champion.
(Jason Summers) Who is this guy by the way?
(Tony Reynolds) Dejesus Christ Superstar!
(Jason Summers) Dejesus? What is he? the christ of the mexicans or something, damn even God's job isn't safe from the illegal immigrants!!
(Tony Reynolds) That is simply racist Jason, I can't believe you would say something like that, and for your information Dejesus happens to be of Puerto Rican descent not that it matters.
( Better Than You" by Metallica plays)
(Devon Shire) and introducing his opponent from The Maryland State Penitentiary he is the Xwa Light heavyweight champion of the world Here is Kriminul!!!
(Kriminul emerges from behind the curtain to a nice pop from the crowd)
(Tony Reynolds) Kriminul has a big match coming up at Ring of Honor. He is one of the three particpants in the Ultimate-X match Triple title Unification match. This is sort of a tune up match for him.
(Jason Summers) That's if he can beat el fuego Superstar.
(Tony Reynolds) Jason stop being what you lack
(Jason Summers) *Beep* you reynolds
(bell rings)
(Tony Reynolds) The Bell has rung and this one is underway. Kriminul comes out strong with a couple of rights and lefts to the jaw that rocks Dejesus. Kriminul lifts Dejesus up and drives him back first into the corner. Kriminul continues his assault with brutal knees to the abdomen of Dejesus. Dejesus is in trouble as Kriminul pulls him out of the corner and whips him into the ropes, Dejesus comes backs off the ropes and Kriminul him scores with a back body-drop. Kriminul dominating in the open minutes of this match. Kriminul picks up DCS, hooks him up and connects with a Cradle Shock Ddt, That has to be it, Kriminul with the cover....
1.......................
2...............................
Kickout by Dejesus!!!! Dejesus refusing to give up easily. Kriminul showing no signs of mercy as he comes off the ropes and connects with a shining wizard that nearly cracks Dejesus skull!. Kriminul goes for the cover
1......................
2............................
No Dejesus kicks out again!!! Kriminul is having a conniption fit in the ring, He really thought that was three. Kriminul pulls Christ up to his feet and hooks him up and tries taking Dejesus over with a big vertical suplex, but Dejesus blocks it with a couple punches to the ribs. Kriminul is reeling in pain. DeJesus hooks him up and drives Kriminul to the mat with an unprettier!!! Dejesus goes for the pin and only gets the 2 count!!! Dejesus gets to his feet and pulls Kriminul up with him, Dejesus lifts him in the air and drives him into the mat with a powerslam! Dejesus drags Kriminul towards the corner and climbs to the top rope. Dejesus balances himself on the top turnbuckle and leaps off a'la Jimmy Snuka but Kriminul moves out of the way and Dejesus hits the mat like a rock!! Kriminul gets back to his feet and charges toward Dejesus and nails him in the jaw with the dropkick. Kriminul goes for the cover
1.....................
2................
Kickout by Dejesus!!! Kriminul pulls Dejesus to his feet and feeds a couple of knees into his solar plexis. Kriminul pulls Dejesus to his feet and hooks him up and hits the Inkrimator!!! , Kriminul goes for the cover
1...................
2.............
Thr- No He kicks out!!!! What no one has ever kicked out of the inkrimnator!!! Kriminul cannot beleive it folks and frankly neither can I. Kriminul lifts Dejesus back to his feet and hooks him up for another Inkriminator, he lifts him up but Dejesus starts throwing jabs into the head of Kriminul and Kriminul loses his balance and falls backward!! Dejesus hooks the leg of the Light heavyweight champion!!!
1....................
2.................................
3!!!!!!!!!!!! Dejesus Christ pulls off the upset!!!!!
(Bell rings)
(Devon Shire) and your winner of the match here is Dejesus Christ Superstar!!!!!
Winner@13:12-Dejesus Christ Superstar!!!
(Tony Reynolds) Dejesus Christ pulls off the upset and you have to think that with Ring of Honor only a few days away that this has to weigh heavily on Kriminul's mind.
(Jason Summers) Yeah losing to a scrub only days before one of the biggest matches of your career tends to take the wind out of your sails.
(Tony Reynolds) Folks I understand we have something going on back stage let's cut to that right now!
(Camera cuts backstage)
(The Camera shows "The Nightmare" Shane Meadows lacing up his boots when he is approached by Mary Jane Montez)
(Mary Jane Montez) Are you ready?
(Shane Meadows) I'm always ready, tonight I will show the word the domiance that is the nightmare
(Mary Jane Montez) You can show your domiance all you want just as long as i get to make someone bleed)
(Shane Meadows) uh....sure MJ, you haven't by any chance forgot to take your meds have you?
(Mary Jane Montez) haha your funny, I don't take meds, I'm crazy all day long, now lets go Traumatize.
(Montez and Meadows walk out of camera range as the camera shows the announce desk)
(Tony Reynolds) Well MJ won't have to wait long to "Traumatize" as her match is up next, let's go to Devon Shire in the ring.
(bell rings)
(Devon Shire) The Following contest of is a tag team match and is scheduled for one fall
(Cowboys from Hell by Pantera begins to play)
(Devon Shire) Coming to the ring first weighing in at a combined weight of 535lbs, here is the team of Zanyon and Paul Pain!!!!
(Tony Reynolds) Alot of Gold both Xwa and abroad between these two professor.
(Jason Summers) Paul has been a dominate force within the Xwa for years now and Zanyon was not only the first Xwa Intercontineal champion, but he has held 20 world titles including having the honor of calling himself the only undefeated Rebellion world champion.
(Tony Reynolds) Indeed Zanyon is a man who is never far from the world title in any company.
(Devon Shire) And their opponents.......
(Nightmare By Motorhead begins to play)
(Devon Shire) Coming to the ring weighing in at a combined weight of 450lbs here is the team of "The Nightmare" Shane Meadows and the Xwa X-Division Champion Mary Jane Montez!!!!
(Jason Summers) Alot of gold between these two to Tony.
(Tony Reynolds) Indeed even though he has only been active for a few years, Shane Meadows has captured titles in IWF, ZWA, and is a former Xwa I.c and X-division champion. Mary Jane Montez is probably the best athlete never to have been crowned World Champion.
(Jason Summers) This should be one hell of a match.
(bell rings)
(Tony Reynolds) And this one is underway. Pain and Mary Jane Montez are going to start this one out. They circle one another, sizing each other up and they lock up. Pain gets an advantage with a side headlock, then works his way around into a hammerlock.
(Jason Summers) Is...Is Paul Pain wrestling? damn I'm surprised
(Tony Reynolds) Pain has a well known amateur background he just doesn't need to use it being that he is 6'3 and 311 lbs. Mary Jane is looking around trying to find a way to break the hammerlock, she grabs the leg of Pain and trips him to the mat. MJ keeps her hold on Pain's leg and turns it into a STF.
(Jason Summers) First Pain, now MJM I guess your going to tell me she has an amateur background too huh?
(Tony Reynolds) No, I'm just as surprised by this as you are. MJM has the STF in deep and is wrenching back on it and Pain is screaming in agony. Pain crawls with Mjm's weight bearing down on him toward the ropes and grabs them and the ref steps in and forces MJM to break the hold. Mary Jane Montez quickly gets to her feet and begins to kick Pain in the back repeatedly. MJ pulls Pain to his feet and whips him into the corner and makes the tag to Meadows. Meadows comes in and drives a knee into the midsection of Pain. Meadows whips Pain into the ropes, Pain comes back off the ropes and Meadows goes for the clothesline, but Pain ducks it, he gets behind Meadows and turns him around and connects with a belly to belly suplex!!!!. Both men are lying spent in the middle of the ring, Pain is starting to move, but so is Meadows. Pain is crawling towards his corner to try to tag in Zanyon, but Meadows grabs his foot and is trying to pull him away from Zanyon. Zanyon is reaching out for Paul's hand but it is just out of reach! Pain is trying to kick Meadows off of him and does, Pain crawls with every bit of energy still in his body and makes the tag to Zanyon!!! Zanyon leaps over the ropes and takes Meadows down with a punch to the face, here comes MJ and she gets the same treatment. Meadows charges Zanyon and Zanyon goes airborne and connects with a spinning heel kick that stuns Meadows.
(Jason Summers) I can't believe he didn't go down after that shot.
(Tony reynolds) Meadows managing to stay on his feet after a brutal shot from Zanyon, Zanyon quickly charges Meadows and takes him down with a Hurranacannranna, Zanyon hooks the leg
1......................
2...........................
Kickout by Meadows!!!! Zanyon pulls Meadows to his feet and whips the wrestler into the corner. Zanyon charges the corner and connects with the big splash rocking Meadows. Meadows staggers out of the corner and Zanyon kicks him in the gut and lifts him up and connects with the Windy City slam!!!! that has to be it!!!
1.......................
2..................
Mary Jane Montez breaks up the pin with a boot to the head of Zanyon!!, Here comes Pain who nails Mary Jane with a spear to the outside!!! Meadows staggers to his feet and he looks to defintely be out of it. Zanyon is perched on the top turnbuckle just waiting for Meadows to turn around so he can hit whatever move he's thinking about. Meadows turns around but Mary Jane Montez pops up on the ring apron and pulls down Zanyon and he crotches the top rope in agony. Meadows gathers his faculties and quickly climbs the top rope, he hooks Zanyon and connects with The Nightmare Effect!!!! Meadows goes for the pin
1.................
2...........................
3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Meadows and Montez pick up the victory!!!!
Winners@15:57-"The Nightmare"Shane Meadows & Mary Jane Montez!!!
(Tony Reynolds) A Big win for the team of Meadows and Montez who have formed a nice little unit in recent weeks.
(Jason Summers) Meadows pulled off a sick move there to win it all.
(Tony Reynolds) Indeed he did. We're going to take a quick break, we'll be right back folks.
(Shows cuts to commercial)
If Chicago is a rocking, don't come knocking, As PWR-PRO WRESTLING RAMPAGE Presents
THE SECOND CITY SHOWDOWN LIVE FROM THE ALLSTATE ARENA IN CHI-TOWN, CHICAGO,Illnois. Wrestlers Scheduled to appear include, Scott Kage, Duncan McCloud, Shane Montez and the Whoresmen and In the Main Event Kryptonite-X challenges Cruncher for the PWR WORLD TITLE.
Contact your local cable or satelite provider or Visit PWR.COM for more information!!!
(back to the show)
(Camera shows Amy Legacy standing next to Marcus K Yelder)
(Amy Legacy) Marcus K Yelder, tonight you face one of your many oppopents at Ring of Honor. You are pulling double duty as you will be both in the Triple Title Ultimate-X match and the money in the bank ladder match. Do you feel any pressure going into this match?
(Marcus K Yelder) Pressure? hell no. High Pressure situations are when Marcus K yelder is in his element. I'm not a rook anymore legacy, and now it's my time. Ultimate X hell it's not my first time being in one of these matches, I know how brutal and painful they are, but I damn sure wouldn''t mind capturing the X-Division title again. And then there's the Money in the bank match. If I got any thing left Amy, I guarantee I will put all of it into pulling that briefcase down and walking out with a shot at the world title. At Ring Of Honor I have a chance to make history and you can bet your ass I will.
(Amy Legacy) Thank you Marcus, back to you guys
(camera cuts to the announce desk)
(Tony Reynolds) Speaking of the money in the bank match who you got Jason?
(Jason Summers) Even though he lost earlier tonight , I'm going to go with Paul Pain.
(Tony Reynolds) I'm leaning towards to Curse Coltrane to take this one In fact speaking of Curse Coltrane he's up next, let's go to the ring.
(Devon Shire) The following contest is scheduled for one fall
(Paint it black by the Rolling Stones begins to play)
(Devon Shire) Coming to the ring first, from Coltrane County, Kentucky weighing in at 225 pounds he is one half of the Xwa World Tag team champions here is "The Loose Cannon" Curse Coltrane!!!!!!!
(Coltrane emerges from behind the curtain to boo from the crowd as the half drunk superstar slides into the ring)
(Tony Reynolds) Dear sweet lord, if the Sandman and Brian Pillman had a baby his name would be Curse Coltrane.
(Jason Summers) come on this guy is great what are you bitchin about now?
(Tony Reynolds) He and his fellow whoresmen are all degenerate's and scumbags. The things they say and do are just outrageous.
(Jason Summers) This is wrestling not bible camp Pat Robertson, this is entertainment and The whoresmen equal entertainment.
(Just Close Your Eyes" by Waterproof Blonde starts to play)
(Devon Shire) and his oppopent, from Jamaica Queens, New York weighing in at 240 pounds he is the current Xwa Hardcore champion of the world, here is Marcus K. Yelder!!!!
(Marcus k Yelder emerges from behind the curtain to the nice ovation from the crowd, Marcus quickly slides in the ring and takes down Coltrane with a Clothesline)
(Tony Reynolds) Marucs K. Yelder not wasting any time, I guess there is no love lost between these two huh professor.
(Jason Summers) You gotta remember Tony, Curse thought it would be funny to make his Xwa debut by costing Marcus K Yelder the Xwa X-Division Title.
(Tony Reynolds) and Yelder is letting Curse know just how he felt about that. Yelder is mounted on top of Coltrane and is just reigning punches down on the tag team champion. Yelder picks Coltrane up off the mat and tosses him into the corner and continues to rock Coltrane with rights and lefts. Yelder pulls Coltrane out of the corner and whips him hard into the ropes, Coltrane comes back off the ropes and Yelder nearly takes his head off with a savant Kick!!! Yelder goes for the cover
1................
2.................
Coltrane gets the shoulder up!! Coltrane taking a major ass whupping here so far. Yelder stays on Coltrane, he lifts Coltrane to his feet and Marcus picks Coltrane up and puts him on his shoulder and connects with a running powerslam! You gotta think the way this one is going that has to be it Professor.
(Jason Summers) Damn I knew Curse should have sobered up before his match.
(Tony Reynolds) That would be too much even for Mr. Coltrane to handle. Yelder signals to the crowd that he's going for his bread and butter, that Patented Five Star Frog splash. Yelder quickly ascends to the top turnbuckle and balances himself. He leaps off looking for glory but Coltrane cuts the party short as he gets to his feet on time and takes Yelder down with a Dropkick in midair!!!
(Jason Summers) Holy crap he caught Yelder right on the head as he was coming down Tony.
(Tony reynolds) Indeed he did professor. A tired and spent Coltrane drapes his body over Yelder
1....................
2....................
Thr--no Yelder gets the shoulder up!!
(Jason Summers) Curse was just to tired to hook that leg.
(Tony Reynolds) Both these men are well conditioned and ultimately it might come down to who did a better job. Coltrane makes it to his feet and lifts Yelder up and drives him backwards into the corner. Coltrane begins to drive boots into the midsection of the hardcore champion until Yelder is slumped over in the corner and sucking on air. Coltrane pulls Yelder to his feet and lifts him up and hangs him upside down in the corner. Coltrane walks across the ring to the other corner. Coltrane looks out at the crowd and sprints toward Yelder and goes airborne and connects with a big boot to the sterum of Marcus K Yelder!!! Yelder falls to the mat doubled over in pain. Coltrane drags Yelder into the center of the ring. Coltrane looks to be going up to the top rope. Curse is up, he jumps off, attempting the Elbow Drop, but Marcus moves out of the way! Curse lands hard on the mat but manages to get to his feet a split second before Yelder. Coltrane goes for the Clothesline, Yelder ducks it and gets behind Coltrane and locks on a Rear waist lock. Yelder tries to take Curse over for the german but Coltrane manages to block it. Coltrane breaks free and swings around and gets behind yelder and pushes him into the ropes. Yelder is caught in the ropes!!! Coltrane charges toward him looking for a Flying Lariat, Yelder gets free and catches Coltrane in mid-flight!!! Marcus powers a struggling Coltrane up on his shoulders and swings him around and connects with the Queens Crusher!!!!!!
(Jason Summers) That was sick!!!
(Tony Reynolds) Yelder rolls Coltrane over and goes for the pin
1......................
2..............................
3!!!!!!!!!!!! Marcus K Yelder wins the match!!!!
Winner@15:12-Marcus K. Yelder
(Tony Reynolds) Marcus K Yelder pulling off a big win going into Ring of Honor Professor.
(Jason Summers) With that move, I'm changing my vote to Marcus K Yelder, this guy looks more than ready to take it all.
(Tony Reynolds) Yes he does indeed. Speaking of Yelder's I understand we have Taka Teriyaki standing by with the middle one, Taka take it away.
(camera cuts to Taka Teriyaki standing by with BSY)
(Taka Teriyaki) Thank you, Tony. Brandon S Yelder I have a couple of questions. First of all What is your position on your good friend and tag team partner Synyster calling out your big brother?
(BSY) You know I'm his brother and I don't always like him so I understand exactly how Synyster feels about my Dear older brother, but a man's got to do what a man's got to do. That has nothing to do with me. See I have a problem with someone else which is why I'm here.
(Taka Teriyaki) Okay big man try not to jump ahead of me here okay haha
(BSY) Hey Bruce Lee Travino, Shut your damn mouth and go make me some egg foo young ( Snatches the microphone out of Taka's hands. Hey Shane I'm about to step in that ring and kick your ass all over Detroit, but that's not good enough for yours truly, see I truly wanna embarrass and show you that I own Shane Montez lock stock and barrel so old man at Ring Of Honor, I've got a challenge of my own. Me and You 2 out of 3 falls, First fall a regular Wrestling match. Second Fall is Falls count anywhere and the third fall is a Steel cage match. Come on Sensational *beep* i heard you talking trash during your little Whoresman Idol skit, I guarantee that at Ring of Honor I'll show you who the bitch really is. This interview...Done
(Bsy shoves the microphone into Taka's chest and walks away)
(Taka Teriyaki) (rubs his chest) Ouch that hurt (crowd heard laughing)
(Camera cuts back to Reynolds and Summers at the announce desk)
(Tony Reynolds) Wow Professor did you dig Brandon S Yelder The leader of the Ministry preaching to Shane Montez?
(Jason Summers) Dig? Tony what did you do before tonight's show watch a Shaft Marathon?
(Tony Reynolds) Sho ya right
(Jason Summers) It wouldn't have sounded whiter if it came from the lips of Micheal Bolton.
(Bell rings)
(Devon Shire) Ladies and Gentlemen The following contest of the night is scheduled for one fall and is for the Xwa Intercontinental title.
(From the inside by Depswa begins to play)
(Devon Shire) Introducing the challenger from Dallas, Texas, weighing in at 265lbs here is Flash!!!
(Tony Reynolds) Flash could go into Ring of Honor with The Ic title around his waist Professor.
(Jason Summers) So your white again right? okay just making sure there superfreaked. Kryptonite-X is Undefeatable nuff said.
(Tony Reynolds) We shall see professor if that prediction holds true.
(Devon Shire) and his oppopent...
(Stricken by Distrubed begins to play)
(Devon Shire) Coming to the ring, from Lexington, Kentucky weighing in at 275 pounds he is the Xwa Intercontinental champion here is KRYPTONITE-X!!!!
(The Detroit crowd boos K-X loudly as he makes his way from behind the curtain and hits the ring)
(bell rings)
(Tony Reynolds) The bell rings and here we go, the two men circle each other and tie up. KX the champion gets the advantage forcing Flash into the corner. Referee Matt Young steps in and forces KX to break the hold, Kx does what he's told but not before getting in a cheap shot on Flash with a thumb to the eye.
(Jason Summers) Cheap? that was simply priceless
(Tony Reynolds) Jackass. KX is laughing up a storm in the center of the ring. Flash takes exception to that and walks up to KX and Shoves him to the mat. Kx appears to no longer be in the laughing mood as he pops up off the mat and throws a right hand at Flash and the two men start to exchange right hands. Flash gets the advantage, he grabs KX and whips him into the ropes, KX comes off, Flash leapfrogs, KX comes back but is taken down by a hip toss, KX pops off the mat but Flash takes him down again with another hip toss, KX pops off the mat a third time and Flash takes down KX a final time with Powerslam, Flash hooks the leg
1.....................
2.......................................
Kx gets the shoulder up!!! Flash has taken over, The challenger pulls The champion to his feet, Flash hooks KX up and scores with three consecutive suplexes. Flash hooks the leg
1.........................
2................................
KX Kicks out 2 and a half!!!!!! Flash can practically smell the title folks, he just has to find the formula to put KX away. Flash pulls KX towards the corner and climbs up to the top rope. Flash waiting on the top rope for KX to get to his feet. KX comes to and starts climb to his feet. Flash leaps off the top rope , KX sees him coming and catches Flash with a kick to the gut, KX hooks Flash up and connects with the X-downfall!!!! KX goes for the cover
1...........
2.................
3!!! This one is in the books as KX retains the title!!
Winner@10:19 and Still Intercontineal champion- Kryptonite-X
(Tony Reynolds) Kryptonite-X looked shaky there for a moment, but he manages to pull out the miracle and retains the title.
(Jason Summers) Miracle? I remember telling you he would win man, what are you on crack?
(Tony Reynolds) No but I understand we have The human version of Speed, Taka Teriyaki standing by with the leader of the Whoresmen. Taka take it away
(Camera cuts to Taka Teriyaki who is dancing around half naked in a pair of Tighty whitey's As Shane Montez and Anthony Montez look on Nauseated, Taka Bends over and Shane Montez lifts his boot and simply Kicks taka out of Camera range, The arena could be heard laughing as Anthony Montez picks up the microphone)
(Anthony Montez) Shane that was disturbing, however not as disturbing as Brandon S Yelder challenging you to a 2 out of 3 falls match earlier tonight.
(Shane Montez) Anthony as you well know, being a Montez means you have to be brutally honest. So I thought I was being a friend to Brandon when I told him to pull that stick out of his ass. (crowd laughs) look Brandon you want me at Ring of Honor, You got it bud, but you fail to realize something, what makes you think they'll be anything left of you.
(Shane Montez walks away, as the camera suddenly gets a close up of Anthony Montez)
(Anthony Montez) Oh and to all the people in the Money in the bank match , post ring of honor, you won't be calling me "The Future" You will be calling Mr Money in the Bank, BIG UPS TO BEERSVILLE
(Anthony drops the mic and meets up with Shane as the Camera follows them all the way up to the entrance ramp)
(Bell rings)
(Suddenly The Imperial March" by John Williams begins to play)
(Devon Shire) The Following contest is falls count anywhere in the building!!! (crowd cheers) Introducing First From Beersville,PA weighing in at a combined weight of 480 lbs here is the Team of " The Future" Anthony Montez and The Sensational Shooter Shane Montez!!!!
(Tony Reynolds) Oh right, here we go this one should be a block buster folks.
(Shane and Anthony Stand with weapons in hand waiting for Brandon and Synyster)
(Devon Shire) And their opponents........
Reach out and touch faith!!!
(Suddenly, a familiar riff is heard and the lyrics start to play)
Your own personal Jesus;
Someone who hears your prayers, someone who cares.
Your own personal Jesus;
Someone who hears your prayers, someone who’s there.
(Devon Shire) And Their Opponents coming to the ring weighing in at a combined weight of 564 pounds. Here is the Team of Brandon S. Yelder and Synyster they are The MINISTRY!!!!!
(Shane and Anthony wait in anticipation with weapons in hand but neither Brandon or Syn show, suddenly the camera spots movement underneath the ring and Brandon and Syn emerge from underneath the ring and attack Anthony and Shane)
(Tony Reynolds) The Ministry pulling off the ambush on the Montez's!!!! Syn grabs Anthony and tosses him with ease into the guardrail!!! Syn charges the younger of the montez's and Anthony backdrops him over the rail and Syn lands backfirst on the back of a Chair!!!!. Shane Montez and Brandon are exchanging blows on the Entrance Ramp, Brandon gets the advantage with a hip check to the gut, Brandon powers Shane up and tosses him into the side of Stage!!!
(Jason Summers) Good lord
(Tony Reynolds) Brandon goes for the cover
1..................
2....................
Kickout by Shane Montez!!!! Anthony and Synyster are fighting in the crowd, Synyster is still feeling the effects from that backdrop. Anthony lifts a chair and smacks it across the Back of the former tag team champion!!! Montez connects with another shot to the back of Synyster dropping the giant to his knees. Montez sees a table, and pulls Synyster to his feet and tosses him on the table
(Jason Summers) What the hell is he doing?
(Tony Reynolds) I don't know Professor but Anthony better watch out for that hard concreate floor that lines the Cobo. Montez climbs on one of guardrails above the table, he leaps off and connects with a Corkscrew Shooting Star Press driving himself and Synyster Straight to hell!!!!
(Crowd begins to chant holy shit)
(Tony Reynolds) Anthony and Synyster are somewhere tangled in that hodgepodge of wood and metal. Anthony rolls over and drapes his arm over Synyster.
1...........................
2...........................
Thr- No Brandon comes out of nowhere and kicks Anthony in the head!!!, here comes Shane from behind who tackles Brandon to the floor!!! Both men are beating the holy hell out of one another. Anthony manages to make it to his feet.Anthony takes a breather to catch his breath as Shane and Brandon are going at in the stands. Brandon is giving it to Shane but Shane ducks a punch and connects with a low blow to the family Jewels!!! Shane hooks Brandon up and connects with a ddt on the steps!! Anthony pulls Synyster to his feet and kicks him against the cement wall, Anthony grabs a Chair and Smacks Synyster in the head with it and the big man goes down in heap. Synyster is busted open!!! Anthony grabs another table and sets it up in the middle of the crowd. Anthony drives a couple well armed shots into Synyster and places him on the table.
(Jason Summers) Here we go again!!!
(Tony Reynolds) Here comes Shane Montez, he climbs over the guardrail above the table.
(Shane Montez heard yelling) ODE TO SETH!!!!!
(Tony Reynolds) Shane Montez looking to attempt the Ode to Seth, Wait!!! here comes Brandon from Behind He pushes Shane and The Shooter misses the table entirely and lands hard on the concreate floor!!!!!
(Crowd Chants Holy Shit)
(Jason Summers) That was the mother of all bumps!!!!!
(Tony Reynolds) Synyster is off of the table and he is beating the hell out of Anthony, Synyster lifts Anthony up and rolls him on the table. Wait What is Brandon doing....he look like he's going Jump. Synyster and this detroit Crowd are egging him on. Brandon Jumps and Legdrops Anthony through the Table!!!!!!!
(More fecal chants break out)
(Tony Reynolds) Oh MY GOD!!! Synyster hooks the leg
1................
2.................
3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The Ministry pull off the win!!!!
Winners@20:30-Synyster and Brandon S Yelder
Reach out and touch faith!!!
(Suddenly, a familiar riff is heard and the lyrics start to play)
Your own personal Jesus;
Someone who hears your prayers, someone who cares.
Your own personal Jesus;
Someone who hears your prayers, someone who’s there.
(Devon Shire) And the winners of the match The MINISTRY!!!!!
(Tony Reynolds) Dear sweet lord, the Cobo looks like a disaster area.
(Jason Summers) So do the people in the match.
(Tony Reynolds) Indeed, you have to think this win gives Brandon and Syn some momentum in their Respective matches at ROH. Well The moment of Truth is almost here...
(The Camera shows New Xwa General Manager Jeff Epstein walking through the hallway as Reynolds is Talking)
(Tony Reynolds) In a Mere Matter of Moments the Contract signing of a life time will occur right after we take our final commercial break of the night.
(Show goes to a Commercial)
She's back, Influential recording artist Nelly Furtado has returned with her brand new Album Loose, Featuring the hit single Promiscuous. Cop the Album that is sure to heat up the summer!!!
(back to the show)
(The Camera opens up with a shot at the stage, suddenly Move along by the All- American Rejects begins to play, suddenly New Xwa Gm Jeff Epstein makes his way from behind the curtain)
(Tony Reynolds) Here we go professor, the contract signing of a lifetime.
(Jason Summers) Fanboys around the world are squirting in their pants as we speak.
(Jeff Epstein) Hello Detroit (cheap pop) Tonight I have the pleasure, no the honor of being apart of history as Masked Genius (crowd pops) and The Xwa World Heavyweight Champion will sign on the dotted line and make official what we all know is going to be a great match. So without further ado, lets get this underway.
(The arena goes silent for a moment then the Survivor Voting song begins to play)
(Tony Reynolds) And The Arena is on it's feet as Masked Genius makes his way from behind the curtain!!!
(Masked Genius makes his way into the ring as the crowd cheers wildly)
(Tony Reynolds) The Legendary Masked Genius won the 2006 World war 3 Battle royal to earn this shot and has been in japan until today he looks to be in terrific shape Professor.
(Jason Summers) Genius always has great conditioning that's without question but Cruncher is known for being the man who can do one more pushup than god.
(Tony Reynolds) This match will be something truly special.
(Jeff Epstein) Welcome Genius
(Masked Genius) Thank you very much, I'm happy to be here in Detroit.
(Crowd cheers)
(Jeff epstein) Well without further ado, Ladies and Gentlemen, Let me introduce to you the Xwa World Heavyweight champion, "The Living Legend" Cruncher!!!!!!!!
(The crowd cheers as Seven Nation Army by the white stripes begins to pound the arena)
(The Xwa champion emerges from behind the curtain to the cheers of the Detroit Crowd)
(Tony Reynolds) Folks I got 4 words to sum up this situation
(Jason Summers) Don't do it Reynolds.
(Tony Reynolds) I can't help it Jason it's coming up. The.......
(Jason Summers) Please stop I beg of you
(Tony Reynolds) CHAMP.........
(Jason Summers) Is it money you want? will that stop you from quoting that arcane statement?
(Tony Reynolds) Is................
(Jason Summers) Oh lord why me?
(Tony Reynolds) HEEEEEEEEERE!!!!!
(Jeff Epstein) Welcome Cruncher
(Epstein and Genius Shake hands With Cruncher)
(Jeff Epstein) Now Gentlemen If you both have a seat we can get this underway.
(both men sit down)
(Jeff Epstein) Okay Gentlemen, as you can see the match will be a straight up wrestling match. I'm going to have the challenger sign first, Genius if you wouldn't mind?
(Masked Genius) Not at all
(Genius picks up a pen and signs the contract)
(Jeff Epstein) Okay Now it's your turn champ
(Cruncher) No problem with that at all.
(Cruncher signs the contract)
(Tony Reynolds) It's Official Folks!!!!
(Both Men start to stand up when Jeff epstein stops them)
(Jeff Epstein) Gentlemen, this match is good for business, in fact I dare say it's great for business at least it is now that i have appointed a fair and balanced and impartial special Ref for your match.
(Genius and Cruncher look at each other in confusion)
(Masked Genius) I was told it would be Me and Cruncher no add-ons
(Cruncher) Yes, that is what Mavick told me as well.
(Jeff Epstein) Gentlemen, please calm down, this match will be treated with kid gloves trust me. Ladies and Gentlemen I would like to introduce you to The Special guest ref for Genius-Cruncher. He hails from GreenCastle, Donegal, Ireland, here is Duncan McCloud!!!!!
(Miseria Cantare" by AFI begins to playthroughout the arena)
(The crowd in shock begins to boo loudly)
(Tony Reynolds) Duncan McCloud???? Fair and balanced my ass, this man is about as far and balanced as Fox News!!!
(Jason Summers) Stop your bitching, Duncan will do a great job after all he is Duncan McCloud!!! Wooooo that Jeff Epstein is brilliant!!!
(Duncan wearing a pair of black sunglasses steps between the ropes walks past Genius and Cruncher and shakes hands with Epstein and grabs a microphone)
(Duncan McCloud) Nice to see you again Jeff, Well well well, Cruncher and The Masked Genius, now you boys know this match can't be the greatest of all time with yours truly having something to do with it.
(Crowd boos)
(Duncan McCloud) (talking to the crowd) Hey keep your damn mouths shut before I report you people to the State of Michigan for using your foodstamps to buy tickets to this damn show!!!
(Crowd begins to shout Curse words)
(Duncan McCloud) Now onto you two, I swear on my honor as an Irishmen that I Duncan McCloud will call the match straight down the middle, 100%, I will be fair and balanced!!!
(crowd uproars with boos)
(Tony Reynolds) Oh Whatever, sure he will, the man did everything but twirl his mustache and laugh manically!!
(Jason Summers) Hey I believe him, Duncan is a very honorable man.
(A sinister smile comes from McCloud as he stares Down Cruncher and Genius)
(Tony Reynolds) We'll see you folks at Ring of Honor!!!!!!
(The camera fades to black with Cruncher and Genius staring down McCloud and Epstein)