Chapter 1

(September 2, 2004.  12:00 PM. Univ. of Memphis. Memphis. Tennessee.)

            Life was a pain in the ass. Plain and simple. It always seemed as if everything hit at once and before you could catch your breathe from the first catastrophe, the second one was waiting in the wings to strike. And even though you wanted each day to pass by in a blink of an eye, it would drag its heels, making each minute count. It was that realization that pissed her off more than anything.

            “Whoever said that college is better than high school was a damn liar.” Olivia mumbled, while reading over her art history syllabus. She wasn’t one to complain, but lately, school seemed like such a bore. And while that didn’t make sense to her, considering that her course load was harder and more intense than it had ever been, she just couldn’t shake the feeling of being stuck.

            As her almond shaped eyes glanced over the assigned reading list, as well as the numerous papers that she was required to write this semester, she wondered if college was even worth it.

            Could four more years of school really make a difference?

            It was a question, that lately, kept coming up and it bothered her to no end knowing that she would even consider dropping out.

            “Penny for your thoughts?”

            Rolling her eyes, she looked up to find a familiar smile bearing down at her.

            “Your lucky I love you because I was about to tell you exactly what my thoughts were”, she replied with a smirk, picking up her bag and moving it to the other side of the bench, allowing her best friend, Jake, to sit down . “You done for the day?”

            “Yeah, pretty much. I gotta head to the bookstore and pick up some stuff though.”

            Jake watched as she nodded solemnly to his response, noticing the almost tired look in her eyes. His gut instinct told him that she was upset, especially since her need to close off and pull away when things were tough was something  she had been doing since she was a child. Although he wasn’t one to pry into her life and make her talk, he couldn’t help but ask the question that had been on his mind for the past week.

            “ Hey, what’s up with you? You’ve looked kinda down the past couple of days.”

            She thought about what he asked and Olivia Hutchinson, as much as she thought she knew, had no idea.

            “I really have no clue. I guess.....I don’t know. I just feel like I’m wasting my time, ya know? Like, is all this...” she waved her hands around indicting the pristine campus of the University of Memphis “....worth it?”

            Her shoulders slumped and she let her head fall back against the bench, closing her eyes. She had to fight not to let the tears that were brimming to escape. For a few blissful moments she blocked everything out and focused on her heartbeat and the slight breeze that blew threw the trees. Finally, after taking a few steadying breaths, she opened her eyes and gave Jake a small smile of reassurance. Reaching for his hand, she laced her fingers with his and placed it on her lap, waiting for what he was going to say.

            “I don’t want to lie to you and say that it’s worth it, because honestly I don’t know. What I do know is that you have more than enough talent and the passion to make you into a wonderful artist one day. But will going to college help that.....your guess is pretty much the same as mine. “

            They both sat in silence, watching as the world continued to move around them. It was rare that both one of them had a spare five minutes to just sit and people watch.

            ”Do you remember the first oil painting I made?”

            “Well...that was random.”

            Olivia smiled before continuing. “It was the one of......”

            “Your mom. Yeah, I remember.” Jake said, interrupting her.

            “It was right after she died and I painted it from memory. I cried the entire time I made it but at the same time I was so happy and so proud of myself. I felt so free and so....complete. I remember thinking if such a small thing as painting could make the worst day of my life seems a little bit brighter, then I wanted to do it for the rest of my life.”

            “So, what’s the problem?”

            “I feel trapped by it now. There’s all this pressure to create and to make a masterpiece, but there’s no inspiration. For once, I just want to paint on my time.....no deadlines, or requirements.....I suppose I want that feeling again?”

            Jake picked up her hand and kissed the back of it before pulling her into a tight, brotherly hug. He was glad that she finally let some of what was bothering her out. He knew that ever since her mother died, she tended to keep her emotions at bay, too scared to let herself feel anything too intensely. At times, it worried him. He could remember the little girl who wore her heart, as well as her emotions on her sleeve for the entire world to see it. While it had been six years since her mother had passed, he had barely seen a glimpse of the person she used to be.

            “Thanks Jake. I needed that.” Olivia said, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek.

            “You know your more than welcome. Oh!! I almost forgot to ask....are you coming out with us tonight? Lord knows, Shane has damn near been stalking me the last few days because you just have to go.”

            All the drama of the previous five minutes was forgotten as the cheshire grin was back on Jake’s face.

            “Well I’m sorry to disappoint you and Shane, but I’m watching the boys tonight.”

            “Yeah, yeah. You suck you know that?” Jake stuck his tongue out at her and pretended to pout.

            “Oh stop acting like an ass. It’s not like we won’t go out tomorrow night. Or every other night this week. And you can tell Shane I’ll make it up to him, okay?” Olivia watched as Jake’s eyebrows rose up and down playfully at her last statement. “ Don’t even think about it Jake, I can already see the evilness in your eyes. I DO NOT like Shane like that.”

            “Yeah, well he thinks you do!”

            “And whose fault is that? Damn sure ain’t mine!”

            “A little bird must have told him.”

            “Hmph!.....More like a retarded pigeon.”

            Olivia squealed when Jake pulled her down into a headlock before grabbing out to pinch his side. With her head still underneath his armpit, he stood up and before she had a chance to protest pulled her into another hug.

            “Call me tonight, okay?” The older brother routine back in full swing.

            She nodded her head against his chest, squeezing a little bit tighter before letting go all together. Olivia watched as he walked away, turning once to give her a wink and a smile, before grabbing her own bag and heading home. Making a quick call to double check what time she was supposed to pick up the boys from school, she hopped in her car, dreading the forty minute drive back to Millington.

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(September 2, 2004.  10:30 AM. Hollywood Hills. Los Angeles. CA.)      

            He wasn't sure what day it was. Actually, he wasn't sure if he was alive. The pounding in his head sounded like a thousand bulls running and all he wanted to do was go back to bed. It wasn't the first time he woke up with a hangover and he doubted it would be his last. Rolling over, his red-rimmed eyes scanned the dimly lit room noticing the flashing red lights of his alarm clock. He knew he was supposed to be somewhere, he couldn't think of it at the moment, but he knew he had a little over an hour to get there.

            Deciding that a few more minutes of sleep couldn't hurt, he settled back on his stomach, allowing his body weight to sink into the mattress. The thought of aspirin and a cold shower started to lull him back into sleep, that is, until someone knocked on the door disturbing the almost peaceful slumber of one, Justin Timberlake.

            "Someone better be dead," he said under his breath, before speaking louder. "Yeah, I'm up."

            "Mornin' honey."

            “Dude, your fucking impression sucks.” Justin said, making sure he was loud enough for his best friend, Trace, to hear him.

            “Yeah well, you’re the actor not me.”

            “If I wasn’t so hung over I would think of a comeback.” Sitting up, Justin rubbed the crust from his eyes as he allowed himself to become accustomed to the light in the room.

            “You’re so purdy in the morning”

            Justin was tempted to throw a pillow at the backside of Trace’s nappy head, but decided the energy it would take was just too much to spare. He heard the shower being turned on and smiled when he realized Trace was playing mom.

            “Don’t make it too hot,” he yelled, before throwing his hands over his head and stretching. “The last thing I need is a third degree burn on my ass.”

            Grabbing a clean pair of shorts from his closet, Justin made his way to the bathroom, shuffling his feet along the way. Scratching the side of his face, he noticed the stubble that had formed over the past week and weighed whether or not he felt like shaving. He decided against it, plus, it fit the whole late-night, frat boy look he had going on.

            “Your chariot awaits, Sir Timberlake.” Trace gave a bow as he stepped back to allow Justin access to the bathroom. “I wouldn’t want the royal pain in the ass to be late”.

            Before closing the bathroom door in Trace’s face, Justin turned around and gave a cheshire grin that was all his own, “Well, that’s what I pay you for buddy.”

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(12:00 PM. Paramount Recording Studios. Hollywood. CA.)

            “If I’ve said it once, I’ll say it again” Justin mumbled, while rubbing the back of his head in frustration, “I hate LA.”

            Walking into the studio, Trace and Justin’s ever present bodyguard following close behind, Justin tried his best to not break down and cry the way he’d been wanting to for awhile. He no longer felt like his life was his own. Everywhere he turned, someone was lurking, wanting a piece of him. It was like selling your soul to the devil, yet each morning you had a brand new one to give away. And more than anything, he didn’t understand why they couldn’t just leave him alone. All he wanted was a day to his self where he could go to one of the only places in the world that allowed him the creativity to just be. But sadly, a few harsh words and snaps of camera had already ruined his moment of normalcy.

            The cold air felt good on Justin’s face as he entered the building. He needed some time to sit down and relax. Looking down, he saw that his hands were tightly held at his sides, the knuckles on his fingers turning a ghostly white. All of a sudden he felt light headed, the room becoming a dizzying haze of colors while his breath came out in short, wispy gasps.

            “I’m goin’ to the bathroom,” he choked out, turning his gaze away from wondering eyes before anything was mentioned. He knew that within a matter of seconds Trace would be at his side, so instead of waiting for him to make a scene screaming his name down some hallway, Justin took a few more steps before turning around and seeing him a few feet away from his body. It almost made him want to smile.

            Placing a hand on his shoulder, Trace gave a look that only someone who loved you could. “Hey, you aight man? You don’t look so good.”

            Justin refused to meet his gaze, so shifting his feet, he took a deep breath and plastered a fake smile on his face before saying, “I’m fine….just…give me a few minutes, okay?”

            Without another word spoken, Trace watched the retreating form of his best friend and had to wonder if there was something deeper going on. Something that no one, not even himself or Justin’s mother, Lynn, knew about.

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*Chapter 2 will be posted by Friday (8/26)*