i am thesvenhunter

i am so incredibly mysterious that even i don't fully know who i am. however i can offer several explenations which will now follow:

• i am an amphibious rodent capable of advanced thought at a similar level to that of an average maths teacher. my paws have evolved so that my thumbs, unlike those of most amphibious rodents, are opposable and thus i have the power to type. i took the name "thesvenhunter" because i killed my master, a mad scientist who bred me and was named sven.
• i am an ancient and magical spirit who has existen for years passing in and out of mortal bodies as they are born and as they die. i will live forever and exist only to hunt for truth in everything and to watch over the human race as it soars to its heights and spirals to its ultimate demise. i took the name "thesvenhunter" because the first body i entered was that of a viking soldier named Sven Karl Ulrich Hunter.
• i am an ironic statement about the concept of space and i took the name "thesvenhunter" because it is really, really ironic.
• i am a painting technique. i am actually called that and i just don't know it yet as i have not being invented by Sven Hunter, son of Charles Hunter, son of Brandon Hunter, son of David Hunter, cousin of Ian Hunter, that guy who sang "American Music".
• i am a normal human being who didn't want a crap email address with numbers in. i took the name "thesvenhunter" because Sven Hunter was my current alternative name (ie the name i would chose if i were to rename myself officially) but it was not available without numbers so i had to prove my eligibility by adding "the" which is a sign of importance as any good conspiracy knows.
• i am a liver.
• i am an old man who spends every waking hour on the internet in search of his long lost pet dog "sven". i took the name "thesvenhunter" so that he would know i was looking for him and somehow sense this enough to be able to evolve opposable thumbs and learn to use a computer so as to contact me.
• my name is sven, nobody else's name is sven and i hunt things and nobody else does.
• i constantly hunt for people called sven, like that dave gormon guy except my job is a lot harder cos there's more people with that name.
• i am mr epiphany, kill kill die die etc.
• pink floyd are crap.
• i'm just julian cope up to his usual tricks.
• all of the above.

there i'm not sure if i know which one is true yet. if you think you know then email me on the following address: thesvenhunter@hotmail.com but be sure to title your email "i know who you are you big fool" so that it can be directed to the right folder!

thanks very much.