The world was shocked earlier this week when an Iraqi spokesman challenged American president George W. Bush to a duel. Initally the White House announced that they would not dignify the challenge with a response, but the situation took an interesting turn yesterday. The president apparantly bit through his gag and snuck away from advisors to make a personal response to Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein.

"Thank you for coming, I'd like to address this infantile challenge from Mr. Hussein. Mr. Hussein thinks that he can make a mockery out of this administation, well I have two words for you sir: "That's my job." In Texas we have a little saying. 'Challenge me once....oh never mind.' I don't agree to your duel, I'm just too set against senseless violence, it's just...not...right. What I propose is a meeting of the minds to settle this conflict. Yes, we'll settle this the old fashioned way, with a spelling bee. The contest will be officiated by an impartial party, Dick Cheney. The words will be..."

At that point Condoleezza Rice ran into the room and tackled the president, while Ari Fliescher quickly addressed the assembled throngs. "I apologize for that. The president was receiving a dental treatment that required nitrous oxide and he left the room when the dentist's back was turned. He's not in his right mind, and we retract any statements that he may have made. Thank you."

Reaction from world leaders consisted of the usual "laughing their asses off" variety, with most leaders too hysterical to make statements. Canadien Prime Minister Jean Chretien was finally able to calm down enough to comment. "Monsieur Bush was obviously not in his right mind. We continue to stand by the United States and support them, at least vocally."

At press time, all world leaders we attempted to contact were still laughing too hard to operate a telephone.