Go.
Equilibrium
Pro-Logue
I can feel him pushing my hair away. His hands soft and calloused at the same time. Our foreheads touching, No one wants to move away. This is the last time we’ll be together. I want to remember everything about him. From his unruly hair to his amber eyes. The way he scratches his eyebrows when he’s worried. How that vein in his neck strains against his skin when he’s mad. And that smirk he has when he’s trying not to smile. I want to remember everything. I do remember everything. Every touch. Every word. Every dream. Everything. But the memories will stop tomorrow. Because tomorrow, well, tomorrow is the end of the world.
“Nee.”
“No.” Don’t let go. Let’s just stay like this for always.
“Shaunee.”
I finally raise my head from his chest to look into his eyes. His eyes look different tonight. It takes me awhile, but I finally figure out why. He’s not holding anything back. I know my eyes are the same. We have no secrets. We’ve only got each other. Jason and Amanda are dead. We’ve only got each other.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” he ask, looking at me.
Jason and Amanda. Charlie and Liz. Jasonamandacharlieliz. We’re doing this for them. We’re the only ones who can. Jasonamandacharlieliz.
“Yeah.” I whisper. “Yeah.” I said, stronger, more sure of myself. I look into his eyes, and he knows. He knows everything about me. He knows I’m lying. He knows I’m falling apart. But he doesn’t say anything. He just holds me closer.
“Promise me that we won’t forget them. Promise me that no matter what, you’ll run if I’m caught. Promise me you’ll try your best to stay alive, no matter what.” I demand, raising my hand to rest over his heart. Our heartbeats are the same. Absolutely synchronized.
“Promise me.” I say again. He looks like he’s going to crumble any second now. I know how much this is killing him. I feel everything he feels. I’ve got nothing to lose anymore. But he does. He has people who’ll care if he’s gone. And he’s still willing to do this for me. For me, and the only family I’ve ever had before him.
“I promise.” He says softly. As if speaking to loudly would send us into shock. I doubt that’s possible; we’ve been in shock for the last three months. But it makes me feel better. To feel that rush of heat from his words on top of my head. To know that he’s still breathing. And I know he isn’t lying. I’ve been lied to my whole life, he knows, and that’s how I know he’s being honest. Tomorrow, I’ll be living a new lie. Tomorrow, I die. Shaunee Lei will cease to exist. I’m giving up the life a lies I had, for a life of lies I don’t want.