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LOVE SONG

Where do you go dont you need my love baby
Why cant you come on and let us play
When are you going to come my way
Aah Aah Aah
What sort of things they be telling you
I got to stop them from compelling you girl
They just wont stop me from getting you
Ooh Aah Aah Aah


Give me a try cause I da da
Know that things will be great
free your mind don't deny
true love never dies it only creates.


I'm gonna take u right there
Love for a lifetime
I'm gonna make ya life so clear
Girl gonna make u mine


I'm gonna take u right there
Love for a lifetime
I'm gonna make ya life so clear
Gonna make u mine


Said no lies dont you cry no goodbye
Just wont work
Stars in the sky
Look so nice look in ya eyes girl
So much you worth
I'm not stupid I'm not a fool
Know what i'm doing I'm into school
Keep a firm grip on what you hold
More valuable than a pot of gold


I'm gonna take u right there
Oh love for a lifetime
I'm gonna make ya life so clear
Gonna make u mine girl


I'm gonna take u there
Love for a lifetime
I'm gonna make ya life so clear

Give me a try cause I da da
Know that things will be great
free your mind don't deny
true love never dies it only creates.

ON BEING DUMB(AND KNOWING IT)

the other day my cell phone told me 'you played yourself'
i told it to -'shut the fuck up'
cuz it knew nothing bout being in love
it continued to ridicule me and point out
how i was weak and pathetic
and i just couldnt believe
my own cell phone could be soo mean to me
after i loaded it with hype ringtones
and fun games and a shiny clip
how unloyal it was to tell me that shit
but damn... it was true
my celly cell knew all my dirt
and it was the one who really knew that
i really did
just play myself.


ON DISAPPOINTMENT

remember how it felt
the moment that sinking feeling came
when u knew u were gonna be alone
the moment u felt ur heart clench
ur soul felt hollow and u just knew
it was always gonna feel
that way
--12-29-04

ON EXCITING PEOPLE

the prospect of u
makes me smile
i wanna be the good thing
at the end of the day
that gets u thru that last tedious task...

down in the dark
i thought of our lust
it got me up and out
back into the world
smilin' to myself
thinking of how lucky i am
to be me
to be someone elses
good thing


ON BEING CONFUSED

i remember when it seemed unreal
i remember when it wasnt easy to see
i remember when your heart i wanted to steal
i remember when i didnt wanna be me
i can see my love come down
i can see my heart go down
i can see my feelings going fast
i can see that this wont last
i dont want to hurt again
i dont want to be the only one
i dont want to search for you
i want you to seek me out too
i hate that we playin this game
im not sure if ill lose or win,
thats why i dont gamble these days
too much to lose too much is at stake
im fighting my usual forward push
though sometimes i go back to- rush
i want to see if u will come to me
by the light of day i will awake and see
if you have given your all to me
cuz if u do i will do the same for you
thats what boos do for boos
funny how we call each other names
funny how this still feels like a game
i thought i was grown but now i see
that im still young and open to vulnerability
im workin on being a tough girl now
feelin this way is not what i want right now
im gonna think of somethin else to do
puttin my heart in your hands looks like a risky move
maybe one day ill show this to you
at that time you should be ready for me
and at that time ill be ready too
i hope that it soon comes
being alone is not what i want
i like it when we are two
u comfort me and i comfort you
nitey nite see you later boo


ON SURVIVING THE 2003 BLACKOUT
Yeah so I officially survived a modern day blackout...thankfully it was over in less than 24 hours for me. I don't know about the rest of the city but my ordeal started at 4pm yesterday and ended just an hour ago at 2:35pm...all of a sudden I heard people yelling outside... Power! Power! So where was I during this massive blackout? At work and it sounded like an airplane was flying low in the air then the lights flickered then everything went out..soon we realized that the whole block was out..then it got scary when we realized all 5 boroughs were out then it just got rudiculous when we found out that some other states as far up as canada were out too...so I naturaly turned into my survivor mode and told my co-workers id be right back and went out to go buy flashlights and a cooler and ice...i just managed to get 2 flashlights b4 a mob of people came in and bought them all...but it was a good thing I didnt get the cooler and ice because I had to walk home to Brooklyn from the upper east side...which took me three and a half hours...not so bad as I thought...my co-worker and I walked 20 blocks down from 61st street, then I got it in my head to hitch a ride down the FDR to the Brooklyn Bridge, a jewish guy picked us up after I hailed like 30 cars driven by selfish, inconsiderate people in empty cars...he took us down to 14th street then dropped us off cuz he wasn't going to the BK Bridge...but we were thankfull for how far he took us...which after starting to walk wasn't really that far(it seems so much shorter a distance when driving down the FDR)..so we walked and walked and walked...took a little 3 min break....got to the BK bridge where the mobs of people were crossing on foot. That was my first time walking across the bridge after living in NYC for 14 years(sad isn't it)... People are funny though..i passed people trying to hitch rides to Conneticut and Westchester...people selling $1 water for $5....people stripping off their clothing b/c it was 90 degrees...people taking pics with traffic and mobs of people as backgrounds...people walking barefoot b/c they wore high heels...people who wearing full two piece suits!!in black!-always corporate but not ideal in the hot weather combined with walking 30 miles....people risking their lives walking amongst fast moving cars trying to walk on the highways....people just looking lost and hopeless at the journey ahead of them....sad..sad...So I was glad i bought a flashlight before I left manhattan b/c when i got to Brooklyn it was dark and my building was dark and I didn't really want to sit outside with my nosy, ignorant neighbors all night....overnight wasn't bad at all...a few cop cars whizzing by... but all in all quiet, as quiet as Brooklyn can be...and that is about all the glory of it all...electricity is my god.
ON LOVING
here is my last come hither stare
take heed and be gracious
for she only blooms fleetingly
loving one moment, indifferent the next
like the elusive breath we try to catch
while feeling the pressure on the breast
or witnessing the miracle of a twinkle
in a vacant eye
its neither here nor there
for more than a moment yet
promises an enternity-
lest you fall and grasp onto...
©2003

Love is like shortness of breath
sometimes hard to catch
and at times suffocating
when it comes to the time when we fall in love
I would hope that it is neither hard to catch
nor as suffocating....

ON LIFE
This is the beginning of the end of my life. What?… you thought I was gonna say the beginning of the rest of my life? Well I guess I only see the cup half empty..So it’s the beginning of the end of my life and I gotta stop fucking around and get ready dying. I got things to do like bleed into the earth so I can forever be apart of this world. And I got to travel around seeing things like gorgeous sunsets and fresh grass on rolling hills or ancient ruins left behind by a bunch of dead people whose bones are on display…I guess I gotta go see those too. And for the sake of my future descendants I gotta acquire a knack for something like gardening or cooking so my great-grandchildren can say things like “Aren’t these tomatoes great? I grew these myself and the spice is a family secret.” Yeah I think it’s about time I get ready to die off and leave a heap load of money to my saddened but newly rich children. Time to start ebbing away at youth and giving up on living recklessly for I have a name to uphold in history and it must be one of importance. One to respect, a name when heard one only thinks of honor, grace and compassion besides the oodles and oodles of money in the family vault.
ON BITCH MODE
0603
what a bitch, how fucking rude
i am
watch your heart,
id like to see it cringe
because of something i said,
cantankerous, annoyed at u, cuz you are stupid,
maybe not,
but ill call it anyway,
me?, bitch, uncouth, not caring very much, sick,
to say sarcastic undermines my true intent,
im really that way
not believing me?, i expected that of an idiot,
a hollow, fucker like u,
im not considering you, or the
insignifance of your breath,
my pensive looking is not concern for u,
just me trying to figure out
how the fuck to get u out of my way.

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